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Jedi Knight Now (Not) Officially a Religion
osiris writes: "The Register is reporting that being a Jedi Knight is now an official religion in the UK after the 2001 census conducted earlier this year. The final number of 'Jedi Knights' has not been confirmed yet as only about 95% of the census forms have been returned. As you could probably imagine, the Home Office is none too pleased. Apparently though, you can't get fined for lying about your religion in the census." Actually, according to the story, this gives the Jedi way no more official status than Plumbing would have if everyone put that down.
None of the people who check it are actually Jedi, whether they say they are or not :(. I don't remember the last time I saw anyone build a real working lightsaber....
What, me worry?
Does this "religion" at all involve paying for the same "holy text" over and over again, in varying "special release" formats?
Is our bible written as such: "Saul begot Jim... yes... mmmm-hmm.... Help him he could... yes..."
Thinking along the lines of the Rastafarians who (in some places) have gained the ability to smoke pot legally as a 'religious sacrament'....
/dev/random, and concealed in the Mysteries of the Digits of PI.
How about forming a new religion, dedicated to interpreting the holy scripture as given by the Great Kernel to humankind through
Amongst the religious edicts would be:
1) Any and all binary data may contain manifestations of the Lord Kernel. Therefore, followers are instructed to decode any and all binary data they get their hands on, and apply technical skills to defeat all encryption inherent in such data/code (including copy-protection barriers).
2) All followers must celebrate the Lord Kernel's holy abundance by freely sharing any data and code which they feel personally moved to make available.
3) The Lord Kernel's abundance takes precedence over any human notions of intellectual property
4) Members of the Church of the Great Kernel may transform their data in any way before transmission to other Members.
This way, the DMCA, SSSCA, ATA etc can be ruled unconstitutional as they interfere with religious practice.
-- In the beginning was the WORD, and the WORD was UNSIGNED, and the main(){} was without form and void...
The Jedi religion does in fact have many stated ideas that aren't too far from "real" religions, so who is to say that one can not actually proclaim themselves Jedi followers?
The question is a whole lot like asking "Is Discordianism Real?"
Any Discordian will tell you with absolute uncertainty that it probably isn't unreal. But just because the Discordian religion probably appeared first in a fictional novel doesn't mean that the beliefs are not valid, even if a bit loony.
I say if someone wants to be a Jedi, so be it. They have every bit as much a right to create miracles as any Christian, Jew, or Muslim. In fact, they're probably just as good at it!
Hail Eris! fnord
"Everything you know is wrong. (And stupid.)"
Moderation Totals: Wrong=2, Stupid=3, Total=5.
... the Immaculate Misconception: Believing that Jar-Jar Binks was a good idea. Ever.
"It was a summer's tale: Just a boy, his Linux, and a head full of dreams..."
No, that would be Scientology.
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I believe a friend of mine said it best when he called himself an 'apatheist'. ; )
"We obviously need a new moderation category: (-1, Woo-fucking-hoo)" --Mr. AC
Dyslexic, Agnostic Insomniac: Lies awake at night wondering if there is a Dog.
I/O Error G-17: Aborting Installation
Calvin: Why do you suppose we're here?
Hobbes: Because we walked here.
Calvin: No, no, I mean here on Earth.
Hobbes: Because Earth can support life.
Calvin: No, I mean why are we anywhere? Why do we exist?
Hobbes: Because we were born.
Calvin (angry): Forget it.
Hobbes (angry): I will, thank you.
When a Jedi comes knocking door at my at 11AM to give me a pamphlet and ask me if I've ever used the force, I think I'm going to take them a lot more seriously. That lightsaber really stings!
This could be the start of something else terrible...
From a followup article about a month later in the same magazine:
"Neither have the Obi-wan Kenobi wannabes thought through the possible
downsides to their plan. What happens if 10,000 Darth Vaders declare themselves
for the 'Dark Side'? Would it be possible for the two churches to live together in
harmony? No chance. It's only a matter of time before some unrepentent Luke
Skywalker ends up tied to a stake on the village green with Darth Maul lighting a
bunch of faggots under him."
Please, use the force carefully regardless of your luminescent or sexual preference.
Census Officer: What's all this then? You've put down bleedin' "Jedi Knight" as religion, you bloody well can't do that. I could give you a whopping big fine for that. Let's see some flippin' identification, mate, or it's off to clink for you faster than you can say "Bob's your uncle."
Jedi: You don't need to see my identification.
Officer: I don't need to see your identification.
Jedi: You can't fine me for anything.
Officer: I can't fine you for anything.
Jedi: I can go about my business.
Officer: You can go about your business.
Jedi: Move along.
Officer: Move along. Move along now.
AC's cheerfully ignored
Of course, once you've put your religion down as Jedi, all other questions can be answered with:
"This is not the information you are looking for"