Football Team Blames Loss on Linux

jaxon_brooks writes: "I guess if you can't blame yourself, you gotta blame something?!?! 'Ravens (-7 1/2) at Browns: Ravens Coach Brian Billick faults last week's defensive breakdown on team's switch to Linux operating system.'" Maybe the team got caught up playing Same Game?

Comments

File this one under Humor

[Anonymous Coward]

For the benefit of the humor-impaired, Norman Chad's weekly sports columns are very funny and almost completely fictional.

Re:File this one under Humor

[dgroskind]

For the benefit of the humor-impaired...

To undersand the joke here it helps to know that Brian Billick is known for using his Powerbook and Excel98 to select plays during the game.

Uh-oh. We've got a big problem here.

[Bruce Perens]

This is what happens when you leave the operating system design up to a pencil-necked geek from Helsinki. Everyone knows that Finns can't play football. And look at this guy, he's married to the 3-time women's karate champion of Finland. What do you think it does to a guy to get up in the morning, knowing that his wife could beat the tar out of him any time she wants to?

So, now we've got IBM and other big companies on Linux development, and those guys only know from golf! There they go, yapping about "enterprise Linux", and still they can't mount a good defense. Ah heck, we might as well go back to DOS. Now, there's an operating system with a strong offensive.

Bruce

Ahhh!

[mESSDan]

What they meant was that they couldn't run any defensive "simulations" by playing Madden 2002. Doh!

Wrong sport

[OuD]

No wonder they lost, everyone knows know Linux and *BSD are designed for ice-hockey.. just ask Pittsburg and New Jersey.

The reason

[S.I.O.]

They forgot how to perform the "Blue death" secret defense trick.

Don't do it!

[Denor]

People, you're well aware at this point that the editors don't check the links in the articles submitted. Luckily, I managed to actually click on it before a lot of people saw the article. I'm warning you, don't click on it!

No, it's not a link to goatse, whatever sick bastard sent this in linked to a place far, far worse. Don't click!

I'm telling you, if you go there, you'll have horrible flashbacks to high-school gym! You'll get locker-induced claustrophobia all over again! It'll be like listening to everyone drone on and on about the latest game while you say nothing in order to disguise the fact that you didn't watch it! Yes, you're suspecting now so I'll just say it right out:

They linked to a sports site!

Run! Flee! Don't make the same mistake I did!!!

coach misunderstood

[Lurking Grue]

He shouldn't have "open-sourced" the playbook. Doh!

Oh, irony ... Re:Would you stop sensationalism?

[gilroy]

Blockquoth the poster:

Searching through the long article ... So, michael & co, would you please read the f*****g article before posting garbage next time?

Perhaps this indicates why one should take one's own advice and read the article rather than merely "search through" it. For anyone who's not totally humor-impaired, it was immediately clear that the entire article was made up for comic effect.

The Ravens coach didn't really blame Linux. OK?

Now, a lot of people are coming down on the editors for even posting this, but I'm not one of them. There are at least two good reasons for linking through to this artice:

• It shows that Linux is percolating in the common consciousness sufficiently (a) for a sportswriter to be aware of it and (b) for said sportswriter to believe it a useful reference for his readers.
• It was humourous. A lot of people have been forgetting, lately, that a core strength of geekdom is its sense of humor. It's OK to poke fun at us, because we can take it. Or, to quote Michael Garibaldi, "Geez. It's not like every conversation has to be about the end of the world as we know it."