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Football Team Blames Loss on Linux
jaxon_brooks writes: "I guess if you can't blame yourself, you gotta blame something?!?! 'Ravens (-7 1/2) at Browns: Ravens Coach Brian Billick faults last week's defensive breakdown on team's switch to Linux operating system.'" Maybe the team got caught up playing Same Game?
For the benefit of the humor-impaired, Norman Chad's weekly sports columns are very funny and almost completely fictional.
I guess this gives us a new take on the term "astroturfing", eh?
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
The writer's "comments" are all made up...the Ravens didn't blame Linux, the Cardinals did NOT have a satanic message, and Manning...well, maybe he DID have a jingle stuck in his head...
rm
Sci-Fi Storm
So, now we've got IBM and other big companies on Linux development, and those guys only know from golf! There they go, yapping about "enterprise Linux", and still they can't mount a good defense. Ah heck, we might as well go back to DOS. Now, there's an operating system with a strong offensive.
Bruce
Bruce Perens.
Did someone get out of bed the wrong side this morning? It's a silly, funny, throwaway article. Join in the fun!
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
What they meant was that they couldn't run any defensive "simulations" by playing Madden 2002. Doh!
-- Dan
They should have switched to FreeBSD! They might (would) have won then.
A real life BSD zealot.
grep -r linux http://*.*.???/ | http://slashdot.org/submit.pl
No wonder they lost, everyone knows know Linux and *BSD are designed for ice-hockey.. just ask Pittsburg and New Jersey.
They forgot how to perform the "Blue death" secret defense trick.
People, you're well aware at this point that the editors don't check the links in the articles submitted. Luckily, I managed to actually click on it before a lot of people saw the article. I'm warning you, don't click on it!
No, it's not a link to goatse, whatever sick bastard sent this in linked to a place far, far worse. Don't click!
I'm telling you, if you go there, you'll have horrible flashbacks to high-school gym! You'll get locker-induced claustrophobia all over again! It'll be like listening to everyone drone on and on about the latest game while you say nothing in order to disguise the fact that you didn't watch it! Yes, you're suspecting now so I'll just say it right out:
They linked to a sports site!
Run! Flee! Don't make the same mistake I did!!!
-Denor
i blame the need for my university to switch to a free operating system on the disproportinate budget of the football team.
"i was saying gnu-rd"
Dave Letterman can now blame the long lasting defeats of the "Fighting Cardinals" on Linux too
Heh.
He shouldn't have "open-sourced" the playbook. Doh!
Perhaps this indicates why one should take one's own advice and read the article rather than merely "search through" it. For anyone who's not totally humor-impaired, it was immediately clear that the entire article was made up for comic effect.
The Ravens coach didn't really blame Linux. OK?
Now, a lot of people are coming down on the editors for even posting this, but I'm not one of them. There are at least two good reasons for linking through to this artice:
The Mongrel Dogs Who Teach
And you know here, mongo (steve mcmichaels) said we were gonna be a practice squad this year at the cub game where he got ejected for singing take me out to the ball game after heckeling the ump. EAT IT MONGO! GO BEARS!
instead of that moneygrabbing monopoly that is Linux! The FreeBSD dæmon would also make a better mascot! :-)
I know it, and you know it, Linux is evil!
.. wait, I might have got something wrong here, but since the post is about a sports page, I have a hard time relating to it. Ah, now I remember, it is Micro$oft that is evil.. almost slipped there...("note to self: M$ is evil not Linux, Linux=good").
True, but this post was moderated as INTERESTING, which is what the person was referring to. I can understand it being moderated as funny, and I can understand it being moderated as flamebait .. but interesting?
And now offtopic, and it also has a troll moderation.
Slashdot moderation - chock full of surprises
A gaggle of cheerleaders in Tux costumes.
You win again, gravity!
I can see it now.
Press: Coach, what happened in the game today?
Coach: Well, it's really quite simple: our offense sig faulted and the defense was running Nautalis (see previous story).
Their half time routine consisted of poor marching (if you could call it that) and jokes over the stadium PA. This was way back when the Pentium division bug was in the news.
On the speaker a voice announced, "Todays half time scores brought to you by pentium, Virginia 14.00421, TCU 3.10002"
That really was the best part of the game...
I heard of your problems using Linux to run the defense team of our native Baltimore Ravens. I am intrested on how you got the entire defense to run Linux in their brains instead of their native operating wetware, and am willing as a Linux sysadmin to help correct the line teams mistakes. Please contact me through my website. --Kelly "STrRedWolf" Price.
--
# Canmephians for a better Linux Kernel
$Stalag99{"URL"}="http://stalag99.net";
Most things in there are done for humor, I don't think the Linux quote is any different.
-- Any comments seen here are not mine, but a mixture of alchohol and lack of sleep.
Just further proof that geeks and football jocks don't mix well together.
It was a post making fun of Linus and Linux posted by the real Bruce Perens. That throws so much fat into the fire that I'm surprised anyone could figure out how to moderate it.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
A coworker once observed that, while some people spend their break time looking at sports stats and reading sports drivel on the web, the Linux geeks among us wasted break time reading netcraft stats and reading pro- and anti- linux drivel on the web.
To paraphrase Umberto Eco (paraphrasing Marx): Slashdot has replaced spectator sports which previously replaced religion as the opiate of the masses.
Its the demons I tells ya! The demons! The open source community ships dozens of these little devils per Linux, Hurd and BSD distro. It was just a matter of time before the less tech savvy community noticed our little satan-worshipping plot and brought us to account for it!
We should issue a promise to the NFL that the next Linux distro they recieve will be demon-free. Then they'll stop complaining via email.
"Look at me, I invented the stove!" -- Ben Franklin
As a once Baltimore Colts fan (until Irsay stole them), and now Ravens fan, I have to say this is the lamest excuse I've ever heard.
Fact was, Bret Favre of the Packers went crazy last week with one of those career games. Unless Ray Lewis hit Favre over the head with a large, disk laden, CPU, it is unlikely that any operating system would have stopped him.
healyourchurchwebsite.com - WWJB?
I know. I also know that it's pronounced `ee polee,' not `hoy poloy.' However, in the Anglicised usage, it is pronounced that way, and it is used as a two-word collective noun, which may take an article. Awful silly, ain't it?