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Review: Not Another Teen Movie
From the opening shots, you know you're going to have fun, as the movie is set in the "John Hughes High School." Unable to win acceptance mimicking African-American culture, one JHHS student decides it's now hipper to be a Jackie Chan clone and dresses and talks "Asian." One of the interesting subtexts of all teen movies is that white suburban kids want everybody else's culture, since they don't seem to have one of their own. A cheerleader with Tourette's Syndrome tries out for the squad and wins a spot.
Like all the best teen movies, this one is obsessively self-referential. Even if you've seen all of these movies, from She's All That to Karate Kid to Not Another Scary Movie to Scream to Pretty In Pink to Clueless, you still may miss half of the insider jokes and references, which whiz by in a steady, sometimes hilarious stream. Spoofs of spoofs of spoofs can work. The movie skewers almost every teen star, from Tab Hunter to Freddie Prinze Jr., even offering a cameo role to Molly Ringwald, the teen star of the Reagan era.
Not Another Teen Movie even takes shots at movies outside of the teen genre, like American Beauty (represented by a weirdo in a funny hat with a camcorder followed around by a hovering plastic bag labelled "the most beautiful thing in the world.") But American Pie comes in for the wittiest and most relentless drubbing, with Randy Quaid as the drunken Mr. Briggs who stuffs his kitchen with apple pies when he isn't hallucinating about the Vietnam War. There's also a foreign exchange student named Areola, who shows up for school wearing nothing but a backpack, pointing out that her only purpose in coming to America is to titillate brainless and horny American schoolkids. In terms of raunchiness and scatalogical humor, the movie goes farther than American Pie, pausing along the way for good measure to take on the recent spate of stupid feel-good sports movies like Remember the Titans. There are also some pointed pokes at the way the teen movies manipulate race in the shallowest of ways. "Mr. T" makes an appearance as the befuddled but wise black school janitor dispensing incomprehensible but mystical advice.
It would be pointless to try and suggest or describe anything like a plot, which the movie enthusiastically avoids. Suffice it to say there is a prom coming up, and there is a wager about whether the school's most ungainly girl can be turned into a prom queen by the venal and manipulative jocks, one of whom falls instantly in love with her. The bulk of the teen movies revolve around the same two or three points: shallow cheerleaders, dumb but noble-hearted jocks, obnoxious nerds and geeks, and faux individualists who claim they are different, but who always seem to always end up dating the best-looking kids in school and hanging out with the most popular cliques. It's a big fat target, and Not Another Teen Movie scores with surprising wit and skill. It's all in the writing.
This article has one major flaw: Do not put quotes around Mr. T's name! Thank you.
Also, first post.
Poor Poor Slashdot... what does this extremely Main Stream Movie have to do with "News for Nerds. Stuff that matters"... this is niether news for nerds or stuff that matters....
What is with the Movie Reviews on Slashdot... I think it's very tacky.
chris
"First Post" that does not claim to be the "First Post"
huh?
No genre ever needed a drubbing more than the teen movie, and it gets what it deserves here.
This may be true, but personally I can think of a genre i'd like to do some drubbing to. I'm desperately searching for some relevance here, and I'm failing. News for Nerds... no. Stuff that Matters.... AahaHAHA.
Story: -1 OffTopic.
If this post was a Troll, it would be untrue.
If this post was Flamebait, I'd expect you to disagree.
If this post was OffTopic, I wouldn't have replied to Jon directly.
--
What happens when you outlaw guns
is it really true that katz adapted a meaningless script from some of his meaningless stories?
Natalie Portman is 1000 times the woman JLH will ever be. JLH is a skinny whore you can't act worth shit. She's ugly and a skank. Natalie Portman on the other hand is the most beautiful woman on screen. Her grace and charm and magnificent acting ability make her the most enjoyable actress to watch in absolutely anything. You are an illiterate idiot. Please go back to kuro5hin.
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
Roll in your first post like a pig rolls in filth, because your days of enjoying it are limited! We will take back the first post for its rightful owners, the foons of Slashdot!
VIVA LA REVOLUCION!
Yet Another Tom Katz Article
Jon reviews all the stupid movies. Forget about it.
isn't this movie targeted towards immature 15 year olds and not nerds? Why is this on slashdot, this movie looks gay.
Everyone wants to do that.
But we also want more Heather Donahue.
...isn't this The Faculty?
and when did Katz start wearing panties?
"You are an illiterate idiot. Please go back to kuro5hin."
This is so funny for so many reasons!
KOMPRESSOR CRUSH JONKATZ. DESTROY ALL MASS MEDIA! fjsdajfkljsdkfjkldsjfklsdjafkljsadklfjlksadjflk;js adkfl;jsadlkf;jasdk;fjksalfjaslkdjklads;jfklsadjkl ajsdkfl;jasdlkfjkldsjfklas;djfklasjfl;kdasjkljsalf
Actually I didn't read the article, but I am complaining.. the editors tell us to keep our posts on topic, but when will they start to keep the stories on topic? please explain how this story is 'news for nerds, stuff that matters'. Maybe one day they will actually accept my (on-topic) stories about CS and the issues surrounding computing instead of rejecting them every week.
Tell me how in the world can someone download divx movies with a 9600 baud connection. GMAFB
Join the chorus of reasonable voices DEMANDING that Katz come clean!
Jon, your continuing silence on this matter is an indictment of your total failure as a responsible journalist and further diminishes your already suspect credibility. Admit your mistake or get your sorry butt off this forum. If Notre Dame can fire their new coach for lying on his resume, you should be treated likewise for your shameless and unapologetic representation of fiction as fact.
Fried ice cream is a reality. - George Clinton
I'm assuming your reply is not a deliberate troll, purely because of your low userid, not your comments. Perhaps this is foolish of me.
All I can say is read the Message from Kabul (see link in parent), and the comments, and try telling me that his article is genuine. I won't discount the possibility that JK was duped, but the fact of his continued silence and refusal to respond weighs in heavily against him.
1. Five years ago you could still have a computer in Afghanistan
Sure. Not a powerful enough one to play DIVX's on. Just think - One DIVX over 9.6kbps modem = one week and a day at maximum transfer rate. Then he's going to play it on his 486?
2. It's a country with many smart people, educated there and abroad
I never intimated that this wasn't the case.
3. People with chicken coops aren't necessarily poor peasants
Ibid.
4. Borders are porous and different people have different reasons for living in a particular place; this guy may well have lived half his life in New York for all you know.
I recommend you read the article again.
"Junis"' attitude, as imparted to JonKatz, implies heavy Ameri-centrism, (Baywatch, Microsoft, Independence Day, porn, etc) almost as if it were written by an American with little knowedge of any genuine Asian mindset or culture. Don't humiliate yourself further by professing complete belief in what is obviously, at best, a very stupid journalist being laughed at by some hoaxer.
here
Every daywas like the next. Get up, get dressed, post crap. Get up, get dressed, post crap. Get up, get dressed, post crap. Jon Katz was feeling a litte under the weather his third day working for...The Condom Revolution. "Hey Martha, those Dildos arrive yet?" Quickly she replied, "Not yet sweety, but you an' me hafta test the boss' home-made toys." Jon Katz was your everyday idiot. A dropout from cosmetology school, failed in two previous relationships with two women, and is always looking for a way out.
The boss was an honest man. He was 5 ft 7 in. tall, had spiked green hair, and an apeal for men his same age. Enough thinking about the boss, let's get back to Jon testing those sex toys with Martha... With it being small store, with no AMD Athlon systems running, there was no source of heat to keep the two employees at a more comfortable room temperature. "sixty-nine degrees is a little too cool for me, you agree Jon, baby?" "Yes I do, Martha." It was sexual sideshow day at The Condom Revolution and Jon and Martha had to stay late to test some homemade sex toys! One was a dildo on a Home Depot drill gun, another was an inflatable Beach Boulevard Bob, and last was a Gerbil tube. It was about 8pm on Saturday night. Martha was eager to do something to Jon, and this was her opportunity. Politely, she asked Jon to follow her into the backroom. Jon just stood there, awe-stricken, it was his first time testing sex toys. Flustered, but verry horny, Martha gently moistened her hands with some lotion and caressed Jon's hand. She then grabbed him by his two inch wanker and dragged him into the back; screaming his head off!
What happened next? A tea party? A game of Quake3 Arena? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, she went strait for the Gerbil tube! The Gerbil Tube was something the boss made with pride. Rob, their boss, was always looking for new ways people can get fucked in their ass and this Gerbil tube was a contender. Jon wasn't wearing much other than his speedo shorts, penguin fishing hat, and his think geek t-shirt, and with the Home Depot Dildo drill, she just made a hole in his speedos just near his all powerful, movie-wanting, crap flooding sphincter! Just then, the boss visited the business. The boss new they were "busy" and so he just grabbed something and went home before I thought anyone saw him. "Rob has always been that way", said Martha. "Ever since we hired you, he hasn't spoken to me or tested any toys with me, I think he realy likes you, Jon", said Martha again. Well Jon took those words with a teaspoon of sugar. What with Rom liking me, he thought, he would be in the relationship of his lifetime.
Just that second, it happened... Before he could see her with the Gerbil Tube, Martha, slippery as a snake, had waxed it well and penetrated Jon. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh gosh another teen..." What was that you said, asked Martha. "Oh gosh another teen movie, play another teen movie while we do this. ohhhhhhhh!" spurted Jon, as she used rythm to mush that tube up is arse. "What teen movie do you want me to play, dady-oh?" "Oh anything so I can think of teen boys as we do this. I love boys, especially the ones from Japan that I call trolls.", said Jon, slow as shit again. Martha reeched into the cabinet of toys behind her and pulled out what she thought was a teen movie...
"Here's some SpaceBalls for you Jon" As she said that, she put a Gerbil in the tube and said "fire in the hole!" Jon, being a safety nut, said "Oh no don't do it! I am enriched. I am military grade. Don't do it no, noo, nooooo!!"
Martha pointed the tube out the back room's window, at Rob, and lite a match. The Gerbil wasn't real, in matter it wasn't even a gerbil, but a descendant of the Aibo sex aid. This gerbil had beautiful brown hair, was a 3 inches cubic size, had a beautiful smile, and weighed just a little over 4 ounces. OH and by the way, it was pre-soaked in sex wax, you know, the wax for your stick. Anyhow, yadda yadda, the gerbil flew and back to the tender moment... "How could you have done that, Martha?" Martha pulled out the gerbil tube quickly and inserted the Dildo drill. And said...
"I am a whitch, Jon. I read your mind and envisioned you and Rob ass fucking eachother everyday after today. I also envisioned you and him starting a website called crapflood.org, losing money, and supporting opensource technology. I don't want you doing that, we don't want you doing that, and you shall be screwed until you agree not to do anything stupid! You are a terrorist, Jon, and I want to be your man, erm woman!"
Jon noticed some masculinity in Martha's voice. Who are you realy, asked Jon. Martha punched forward with the Dildo drill, vroom vroom vroom! "Full speed ahead matey! I think you need only 640K seconds more of this, Jon, definitely only 640k" Jon noticed something about that phrase he heard on the news. Martha new he was thinking and wanted those thoughts replaced by moaning. "Oomph" she pushed, "ahhhhhh" Jon yelled. This continued for quite some time and Jon was getting the ass-reaming he hadn't imagined.
Martha stopped the Dildo drill...then started again. Martha kept stoping to adjust something and then started again before Jon saw. Jon liked it and realy didn't care about Martha anymore, he wanted one thing...to give birth to kittens that his mom told him about. Just then, Martha stopped again. This time for good. I cannot tell a lie, said Martha. Martha had a run on her forehead! Jon knew it was a mask. Martha took off her shirt quickly with great speed. Along with her shirt, she took off her skirt. That final moment, Jon noticed her wearing a cup! Yes, a man's cup, but what was behind the mask? Martha began to remove the mask...(drum role please)...
Who was it, Jon?
"Oh my god fuck me anally at will! It's John Carmack!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
why don't you post on topic then, you fat baby
Nope. He said his Commodore - and the Amiga can play DivXs. plus, if he was out of the loop all this time, he may be looking forward to downloading movies, but be unable to. Now he has the opportunity, not the capability.
"Junis"' attitude, as imparted to JonKatz, implies heavy Ameri-centrism, (Baywatch, Microsoft, Independence Day, porn, etc) almost as if it were written by an American with little knowedge of any genuine Asian mindset
You're right! Most Asians with an American are interested in Baywatch, Microsoft (to the point that there is a Korean business trend of dressing like Gates), and TITANIC, not Independance Day. (Of course, when it comes to porn, as Haruka Inui will tell you, American Porn is the best). When emailing an American, wouldn't it make sense that he'd show off his in depth knowledge of American culture?
And if either Americans or Asians feel insulted by that, Americans by and large think Japan = Asia, and everybody watches Sailor Moon and Godzilla. The reality is, of course, that different people have various levels of knowledge about each other's culture, but whatever happens to be played in your area becomes an example of "popular x culture", Thus Titanic and Godzilla making the crossover, while both mezuzahs and kadomatsus don't.
And yes, I am as ignorant as you about Afgani culture. Why don't you admit it? True, it is very plausable that he was duped - I see no reason for him to fabricate the story (that is a career killer for a journalist). But we shall see - certainly the kid could probably get another message out sooner or later.
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
If Junis is real, and surfing Slashdot, why hasn't he himself posted?
Kempley.
The truth about Michael
Six digit salaries?
HAHAHAHA!!!
If you believe that, you'll believe George Bush was elected President.
Heh, I went to high school with Chris Evans (he's one of the main characters... I haven't seen the movie, but he's the one they show in the previews wearing whipped cream on his nipples). He's as much of a dumbass in real life as he is in that movie, so for that reason alone, I always laugh at the previews :) I'll probably have to rent the movie at some point, but you're not gonna catch me spending (3 * $pack_of_cigarettes) on that piece of shit movie.
go to randolph, revere, slumervile. Don't go to the commons theatre if you are concerned about the price.
$10 in new york city too. and your testicles + your soul for any refreshments.
This libelous crap about Love is pure fucking bullshit and evidence of ultimate hatred on your part. Maybe you're going out with a fattie who can barely fit through doors and get in and out of cars, and maybe you're jealous of Love's perfection and beauty. That's understandable. But if you ever lie and make hatred about Love again, you can bet that your Slashdot account is going to be gone, and your ISP (and perhaps Love's lawyers) are going to be notified.
Asshole.
100% of your comment is just whining.... If you don't like the comments, don't read them, and don't post trash comments. Try to keep the comments on topic...
Kompressor does not dance?
Aside from the issue of playing divx on a Commodore* computer that was buried under a chicken coop for an unspecified number of years, the fact is that Kabul was without electric power at the time this lad was supposed to be watching Baywatch. Yes, American pop culture pops up everywhere, but I doubt if Baywatch was popping up on Kabul TV. If Katz can prove otherwise, and that should be a trivial task, let him do so.
* Who ever uses the term "my Commodore" to refer to an Amiga?
I survived the Dick Cheney Presidency 7 to 9 AM 7-21-07