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Online Greeting Cards Patented

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the what-is-the-wheel-next dept.

Trailer Trash writes "According to this story at bizreport.com, Hallmark has given in and licensed Tumbleweed Communication Corp's patent for delivery of online documents with e-mail notification. Will the idiots at the patent office never stop? Jeff Smith of Tumbleweed claims to have been granted three patents last year."

6 of 237 comments (clear)

  1. If they would patent spam by Das+Fink · · Score: 4, Funny

    You know this might be the first _good_ stupid patent.

    There are few things I dislike more than having some stupid piece of flash animation sent to me by email, or wore notification of said flash animation.
    If this Patent stops webisites from getting my mom to send me anymore dancing hamsters, or singing chiefs I will be only too happy.

    Next up I want someone to Patent SPAM

    1. Re:If they would patent spam by Ron+Atkinson · · Score: 5, Funny
      Naw, it still doesn't beat US Patent Number 5443036, "Method of exercising a cat".

      Of course I don't mind Patent 5965809, "Method of bra size determination by direct measurement of the breast". I'm sure a lot of guys are trying to infringe on this one :)

  2. OH YEAH!? by Hatechall · · Score: 5, Funny

    OK well tumbleweed put this in your ass and smoke it. I patented YOUR FACE! I not only patented the patenting process but I also patented the patent process and the patent for patenting patent is patent pending. Patenting the Patent pending patenting process is pathologically pathetic so ill leave that up to the RIAA. Permitting a patent pending processing pricky pears and a peter piper picking pickled patented pickled peppers patent patent patent patent patent......
    If you are now desensitized to all meaning of that word you know how I feel after all those damn patending decisions. When will the madness end?
    And not to be a flame, but is it really that important? What exactly is the real implications of this besides the obvious??

  3. here's what to do. by footility · · Score: 5, Funny

    IAJAM (I Am Just A Monkey), but it just hit me that
    I /must/ publish every thought I ever have to
    protect myself from this slimy patent system we
    have, and slimier patent applicants.

    I suggest everyone else do the same. Document
    everything you think, whether it seems significant
    or not. Document the way you wipe your ass; the
    way you lift food to your mouth; the way you pick
    your nose. Document the method of transferring
    thought to a transportable medium.

    Fuck! I'm sick of the software /business/.

    --
    What f*ing box!?!?
  4. Re:READ THE DAMN PATENT FOOLS by Waffle+Iron · · Score: 5, Funny
    Hallmark wants their greeting cards (unlike those of Blue Mountain et. al.) to be SECURE.

    Now, this is a significant innovation. I was sitting awake in bed all night worrying about a man-in-the-middle greeting card attack:

    • Alice chooses a Hallmark condolence card, and emails it to Bob on an unsecure link.
    • Mallory intercepts the condolence card message and substitutes a novelty insult card. Mallory forwards the message to Bob.
    • Bob receives the card, and is tricked into believing that Alice is an insensitive bitch.
    • Alice denies sending the card, but Bob doesn't believe her. Their friendship is never quite the same after this.
    With a secure greeting card, this could never happen!
  5. Re:READ THE DAMN PATENT FOOLS by mshiltonj · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hallmark wants their greeting cards (unlike those of Blue Mountain et. al.) to be SECURE.

    * Now, this is a significant innovation. I was sitting awake in bed all night worrying about a man-in-the-middle greeting card attack:

    * Alice chooses a Hallmark condolence card, and emails it to Bob on an unsecure link.

    * Mallory intercepts the condolence card message and substitutes a novelty insult card. Mallory forwards the message to Bob.

    * Bob receives the card, and is tricked into believing that Alice is an insensitive bitch.

    * Alice denies sending the card, but Bob doesn't believe her. Their friendship is never quite the same after this.

    With a secure greeting card, this could never happen!


    This is a non-issue, because bob wouldn't actually *read* the card...

    * Bob check mail

    * Bob gets message with subject "Alice has sent you an electric greeting card"

    * Bob groans.

    * Bob knows he can't get away with not clicking on the enclosed link, because the card web site notifies the sender when the card was "read". That's why Mallory is still pissed at him.

    * Bob opens message, clicks on enclosed link.

    * Bob's browser opens in new window. He is forced, under great pain, to wait while a page with an animated gif of some sort draws on the screen. As soon as the midi file starts playing, he knows the page is fully loaded and Alice gets the notification that he read the message.

    * Bob closes browser window on second note of midi file. Card goes unread.

    * Bob hit reply to sender in email. Composes some hack response like, "I just read the card you sent me. Thank you so much for brightening my day. You are so sweet!"

    * Bob sends reply.

    * Bob deletes original message.

    The above series of events can happen in less than 30 seconds. Honest.

    Lastly,

    * Alice gets warm fuzzy feeling.

    * Bob gets laid.

    --
    Software Wars