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Dave Barry Does Windows
retrosteve writes: "Well, it's finally happened. Someone (Dave Barry) in the popular press has finally, explicitly and with a sense of humour, pointed out that Microsoft Windows doesn't get any more reliable or usable, no matter how many versions you buy."
See "humor". See also "sarcasm".
They're always asking me about virii, breakdowns and all of the other things I don't deal with in my Linux-enabled life.
The appropriate technical response, I believe,
"Say what?"
Leastways, that's what the folks from Microsoft would say.
Perhaps I should have added that I don't allow virii to execute on my system :)
I'm using Win98 SE (forgot to mention that as well) and IE5 at this very moment. I can't remember the last time it crashed.
Leveling up builds character.
I built a computer for a little old lady 50 miles outside of town. I thought XP would be perfect because it's SOOO reliable and all she really does is email and word. Got it all setup and it worked great, didn't need any drivers either.
2 days later her machine is locking up because she installed some old application that shows you the PHASE OF THE MOON in the taskbar.... who the hell cares about the moon? (btw she has a huge poster next to her computer that shows the stage of the moon for every day, for the next 100 years... go figure) But anyway I managed to get her to uninstall it, and I even found a new version of the software that works for XP (as the website claims) So she installs this and then her machine locks up even more. I get her to disable it in with msconfig (because the uninstaller wouldn't work) and fucking Windows XP constantly reminds you that your startup mode is not in "normal mode" THANKS! She really wanted this Lunabar program (and she was getting very dissappointed with windows xp) so I had to go to her house and Install Windows 98 for her.
WinXP sucks ass. So much shit doesn't work right.
On a side note I installed OFFICE XP on another ladies machine, I thought it would be just like Office 2000. Well-- She likes to go back and forth between Clarisworks and Office-- and OfficeXP wasn't reading the Clarisworks files correctly... SO she uninstalled OFficeXP and installed her own version of Office 2k-- and it's the GAY version where you have to CALL MS and get a serial number before you can install it..
OH and I just got an email from that first lady-- she was trying to copy stuff from her zip disks back to her computer and it makes her computer lock up completely when she tries this. I think her zip disk has errors on it but WHY THE FUCK does it have to lock up the machine!!??
One last thing-- I prepared myself by buring cd's with all the drivers that I would need-- because downloading drivers with a 56k modem sucks ass. But of course-- I CANT READ THEM IN WINDOWS. I burned these CD's in LINUX using Xcdroast. Standard mode ISO9660... I can read them just fine. what the HELL is wrong with windows??