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CIA & KGB Gadgets On Display
ricst writes "Been postponing that visit to the Reagan Presidential library? Well, delay no more, because they are hosting an exhibit of some formerly secret CIA and KGB gadgets. reports, "For the first time, the public is getting a large scale view of the CIA's and KGB's real-life James Bond gadgets, from a replica of the Russians' deadly poison-dart umbrella to some of the Amercians' most ingeniously concealed cameras." The last 200 years of history of technology is reflected in these spy devices that go back to the Revolutionary War."
Like the one-of-a-kind Lucas alternator that works?
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
I guess the CIA figures it is safe to put these on display now, because Reagan can't remember what any of it is or what they did with it.
The world's first microdot, a document shrunken down to a tiny point, is also on display. It dates back to 1852.
Wow, and here I was thinking that Hoffman didn't invent LSD until 1943.
My Russian freind told me this joke one day.
Place and time: somewhere in the Soviet Union in 1930s.
The phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this KGB?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the
State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.
"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yes, they did."
"Okay, now its your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
I am into the copy and paste.
Also on display is a pair of Diana Rigg's leather pants from the hit British TV spy series "The Avengers."
"If you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're right." -
Interesting. Although I have to wonder how much longer it will be available before the Bush Administration reclassifies it as top-secret.
The full text should read: They must be mistaken, the US doesn't spy on other countries... See now isn't it funny :)
I give up, some one get me when Elvis returns...
I know this is stating the obvious, but:
A large wooden gift from your rivals?
And you accept it at face value and bring it into your fortress?
And it just happens to have a secret compartment with an electronic spy hidden in it?
Hello?
Weren't diplomats supposed to have gone to Ivy Schools where they teach all that literature in dead languages?
Freedom is the freedom to say 2+2=4, everything else follows...
Cheers,
Ian
Apropos recent events, in case you're wondering what will become of all the unemployed KGB men in the event of a change of regime in the USSR, I was talking to a German friend recently and asked him what had become of all the former Stasi secret policement of East Germany.
"Oh they're all taxi drivers now," he said, "it was the obvious solution."
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Simple," he said, "you just give them your name--and they know where you live."
I am into the copy and paste.
A group of serving secret agents claimed Tuesday their superiors had ordered them to assassinate Boris Berezovsky (pictured), the controversial billionaire with close ties to Kremlin chief Boris Yeltsin and his family...Political commentator Andrei Piontkovsky said the furore was ironic given charges by Yeltsin's former chief bodyguard, Aleksander
...hey, what makes you think I get people killed?
Korzhakov, that Berezovsky had asked him to have rival business baron Vladimir Gusinsky eliminated in 1994.--Reuters, Nov. 19
(Boris Berezovsky is pacing back and forth in front of Boris Yeltsin's desk in the Kremlin. Yeltsin is busy writing)
Berezovsky: Boris Nikolayevich, you must do something!
Yeltsin: (without looking up) I am doing something, Boris, I'm working with documents.
Berezovsky: (looking at paper in front of Yeltsin) You're doing a crossword puzzle!
Yeltsin: I am TRYING to do a crossword puzzle. I'd be making much more progress if you weren't distracting me with your whining and complaining about people trying to kill you.
Berezovsky: (outraged) People? People trying to kill me Boris Nikolayevich? It's the KGB trying to kill me! The KGB!
Yeltsin: How can the KGB be trying to kill you when there is no KGB? There's the FSB...the "toothless shadow of a former Russian intelligence organization." Five across.
Berezovsky: Toothless? It may be toothless but it's still armed Boris Nikolayevich - and the FSB is trying to kill me!
Yeltsin: That's about the best guarantee of long life you could have.
Berezovsky: That's easy for you to say, Boris Nikolayevich, but for me it is a source of constant worry!
Yeltsin: (still concentrating on puzzle) Boris, if you found out that the mafia was trying to kill you, then I would say go ahead and worry, but the FSB? Who goes to the FSB when they want someone killed? Do you go to the FSB when you want someone killed?
Berezovsky: No, but
Yeltsin: Oh, I was speaking purely hypothetically, of course. So what would you do if you wanted someone killed?
Berezovsky: (with an air of giving the question serious consideration) Well, let's see. I guess I'd send them somewhere dangerous. Like Chechnya. Or Miami.
Yeltsin: Assuming you can't send them anywhere. Assuming you have to do the job here in Moscow. What would you do then?
Berezovsky: Well, I might - and this is purely hypothetical of course - I might stand behind him in a crowd in Red Square and yell "So YOU'RE the one who got us into this financial mess!"
Yeltsin: Hmm, clever, but not altogether reliable.
Berezovsky: (warming to his theme) Or I could replace his briefcase with one of those nuclear suitcase bombs Lebed is always on about.
Yeltsin: In which case, you'd wipe out most of the region. A bit excessive, I'd say.
Berezovsky: Yes, I suppose - okay, how about this? I send him to the next Communist Party convention in a "Lenin Sucks" t-shirt.
Yeltsin: Yes, that would probably do it. But you notice, you haven't once said, "I'd go to the FSB and ask them to knock him off," have you?
Berezovsky: No.
Yeltsin: So are you ready to admit that you've overreacted to the idea that the FSB is trying to kill you?
Berezovsky: Well...maybe...
Yeltsin: Good, then all's well. Give my regards to your family.
Berezovsky: (leaving) I will. Good-bye Boris Nikolayevich.
Yeltsin: (returning to puzzle) Four down - "one who is easily duped, a sucker." B-E-R-E-Z-O-V-S-K-Y...
I am into the copy and paste.