US Army to Try Out New, Anime-based Uniforms
PenguinRadio writes "This is being reported in a few places, most notably USA Today which has an article about the US Army teaming up with MIT to develop a new nanotechnology-based outfit for our soldiers that can detect bio hazards, injury, and other funky things. The 5 year, $50 million grant also wants to look at bending light around the uniform to create some sort of invisibility." CNET has another story. The Institute for Soldier Nanotechnologies has its own web page, of course.
Hmm.. What does Anime have to do with any of this? Are Slashdot editors hoping that female soldiers will be outfitted with scantily-clad, breast-hugging Anime style getups?
Put me down for $100 on MIT for the 2007 NCAA torney.
-- Nobody should take away Microsoft's freedom to innovate, particularly since they haven't used it yet
...Besides, if they were really ANIME-based, these suits would be easily pilotable by 13 year-olds.
In fact, they'd probably be pilotable ONLY by 13-year olds, as the result of some plot twist!
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It's anime-like because, in combat, the two sides will simply hang back and stare at each other for a while. Then both will fire off everything they have with explosive fury. When the dust settles... both sides will still be standing, but the collateral damage to the area will be _huge_ and there will be massive civilian casualties.
Oh, wait, that's how modern military actions are now. Alas.
A.
Supercharged shoes could release energy when soldiers jump, propelling them over a 20-foot wall.
-What happens after the wall, is there also a parachute, or are you just supposed to land after your 20 foot fall.
Micoreactors could detect bleeding and apply pressure.
-So that the enemies crackers can cut off circulation in battle to help their side
Light-deflecting material could make the suit blend in with surroundings.
-So that the number of soilders hurt or killed by friendly fire increases.
MIT's research centers had been working on nanotechnology ideas long before getting involved with the Army, but not with military applications in mind.
-Isn't that how it always happens, soon the MIT reasercher will make a peace time achievment award.
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Kilroy was here!
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In fact, they'd probably be pilotable ONLY by 13-year olds, as the result of some plot twist!
But only if the suit turns out to be your enemy.
Actually the light bending will be incorporated into the very skin of the soldiers, with a light mask to cover the eyes. They will have to fight naked of course, but this is causing the Joint Chiefs to rethink allowing women on the battlefield.
Of course, if the light gets bent around the soldier, how will any hit their eyes so they can see?
Bend light? The best we've been able to accomplish around the lab is break wind.
The GOOD news is, every female soldier will now be a 38 DDD.
The bad news is, these suits are NOT proof against suddenly-appearing, demonic phallic tentacles.
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We're gonna make soldiers so incredibly expensive that we can't afford very many.
Then we'll send them into battle, whereupon they'll be vastly outnumbered by hoards of people carrying rocks.
Last words? "Ah... now here's a problem we didn't consider..."
What's the difference between an MIT mechanical engineer and and MIT civil engineer?
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.
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Mechanical engineers build weapons, and civil engineers build targets.
Ha!
The military is going to hire Cobra Commander!
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