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NASA Satellite Stranded
Account 10 writes: "BBC News has a story about one of NASA's newest and most sophisticated satellites. Launched a couple of weeks ago, it was supposed to have moved itself up into the correct orbit . Once there, one of its roles would be to route data between the ISS, other satellites and the ground as aprt of the TDRS (Tracking and Data Relay Satellite) project. However a fuel tank is leaking and it cannot reach its orbit. One suggestion is that it maneuver itself into an orbit where the shuttle can reach and rescue it - to repair it and send it on its way, or bring it home to be launched again."
Wasn't there a recent slashdot story (in the past few months) about a budget sattelite put up for under 50k with a metal ruler for an antenna that's still working? I've got a 84 jeep bumper I'm willing to donate for the next communications sattelite. Hell, if they're willing to put my name on the sattelite, I'll throw in my old C64 to run it.
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"Once there, one of its roles would be to route data between the ISS, other satellites and the ground as aprt of the TDRS (Tracking and Data Relay Satellite) project."
Without the aprt, I think this project is doomed. in fact, with out a daily dose of aprt in our lives, we are all doomed.
::runs around screaming about being doomed::
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1) Fire all the satellite's rockets to bring it screaming into the atmosphere on the 4th of July for one hell of a fireworks show.
2) Get Tommy Lee Jones and the rest of the crew from Space Cowboys to give it a good kick.
3) Replace the leaking fuel cell with a new one filled with Nitro Glycerin.
4) Mass-produce the same satellite and sell it in hobby shops under the name, "My First Satellite Set".
5) Sell it to the US Miltary as a target for the new missle shield.
6) "Fuck it, we're going to Mars now."
7) Call AAA for a tow. (or at least a jump-start)
8) Tell the monkey inside it to peddle faster.
9) Make up some ridiculous excuse to explain why you've wasted several million dollars on something that doesn't work - like a fuel leak from a damag... wait a minute...
10) Pretend everything's going as planned.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Desperation is a stinky cologne
NASA Engineer: I dont understand... I only shoved 3 gallons in that tank, it should be fine! Whats that? Litres you say? Oh not again...
That leaves us with repair, the most reasonable option. Send up some guys on the next shuttle mission with Duct Tape (about $1.50 a roll, depending on store and brand).
No, no, no... This is the US government here. Hammers generally run about $50,000 each, a couch runs several hundred thousand dollars, etc. You have to convert to government dollars. Last I checked, the going conversion rate is something like ((N/I) * Pi^8) where N is the normal price, and I is the importance of the item (scale of 1 to 10, duct tape being a 1, nuclear weapon being a 10).
Therefore, that $1.50 per roll duct tape would actually cost about $14,175 US government dollars.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."