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Thumbs Are the New Fingers for GameBoy Youth

An anonymous reader writes "Reuters is running an interesting story on how the use of gadgets such as mobile phones and GameBoys has caused a physical mutation in young people's hands. The use of the thumb is a deviation from the use of the index finger..."

20 of 383 comments (clear)

  1. This is why... by laeraun2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    cows don't play Nintendo - No opposible thumbs.

    --
    Error: Erection reset by beer.
  2. exciting new research! by xonos · · Score: 5, Funny

    HEADLINE: People who use their thumbs more are able to use their thumbs better! Scientists are baffeled because of the "geek" tie in. There might be link between this and runners who run alot can run better. News at 11.

  3. So, to sum it up... by YouAreFatMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...people who use their thumbs more often have better coordination with their thumbs.

    Can anyone say "slow news day" ?

    Tomorrow on slashdot:
    "People who type a lot don't even have to look at the keys"
    "Study discovers that engineers better at factoring quadratic equations than grocery clerks"
    "Musicians who practice more often are better musicians"

    --
    Robotiq.com is heavily tested on animals
    1. Re:So, to sum it up... by |<amikaze · · Score: 4, Funny

      You can factor a grocery clerk?

    2. Re:So, to sum it up... by kesuki · · Score: 4, Funny

      Of course you can factor a grocery clerk. The grocery Clerk factor is perhaps the broadest of the retail clerk factors, since nearly everyone at some time or another must go to a grocery store to purchase food. The grocery clerk factor is a a basic method of calculating how long you'll have to wait in line, based on the time you go to checkout. since this factor can vary greatly, it can impact the entire day, by making you late for each subsequent appointment.
      Based on my local research the worst times to approach a checkout are between 4pm and 8pm.

  4. Violin by Scrameustache · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yes, and violinists are a bunch of wrist mutants, using their wrist more dexterously than non-violinists.

    In other news, body-building causes physical mutations! Body builders have been observed with muscles far more voluminous than those of non-body builders, a clear case of physical mutations.

    In related news, train track cause physical mutations! Many children living near train tracks have been observed exhibiting a lack of lower apendages! The advance of mechanical transportation having rendered the function of legs as a primary locomotive means useless, the legs of some people are falling off in an incredible example of physical mutations!

    Other mutations in recent history include the apparition of a new human tissue composed of a polymer envelopped filled with either silicon or a saline solution in the region of Los Angeles. These mutations are thought to be cause by the proximity of large amounts of cellulose films used in movie production. The difference in content of these new physical mutations are thought to be two separate evolutionary branches. Scientists expect the saline variant to be the more sucessfull evolutionary track.

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    You can't take the sky from me...

  5. Re:Hmm, I have mutated too? by rde · · Score: 5, Funny

    does that mean that I have mutated in a musick playing monster?
    Only if you play the accordion.

  6. Another mutation... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    So besides suspciously abnormal forearm and wrist mutations, adolescants now have a thumb mutation too?

  7. Re:Seriously? Mutation? by nucal · · Score: 3, Funny

    Lamarckian inheritance lives!

  8. I knew it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I knew that cell phones would mutate people, but I never expected the keypads would be the reason.

  9. Re:Mutations are grrreeeat! by JoshKOTW · · Score: 2, Funny

    nope, I follow the Randy Moss (WR) theory of effort. It is impossible to give more than 100% at any time so instead I follow the 50/50 rule. I'll give 50% effort, 50% of the time.

    --
    "I'd always had longer hair than other boys. I was a long-haired musician before hippies came along." Willie Nelson
  10. This only confirms my suspicion... by knodi · · Score: 1, Funny

    that once you get your doctorate, nobody much cares about how you do things. This woman with a PHD (for cryin' out loud!) just watched several kids play gameboy and use the AOL messenger feature on their phones!
    "In her research, Plant noticed that while those less used to mobile phones used one or several fingers to access the keypad, younger people used both thumbs ambidextrously, barely looking at the keys as they made rapid entries. "

    Right, people in her "random sample" made rapid entries. She just grabbed a bunch of teens from the mall and said "wanna co-author a major government funded research project?"

    Then she said "um... looks like the generation born in frickin' 1980 is mutating, ala X-men. I wanna be the one with laser eyes! I wanna be the one with laser eyes! Wheee!!!!"

    --
    Austin is more fun than Dallas.
  11. It says is was a 'Research' by ackthpt · · Score: 3, Funny
    That must mean it's true.
    New research carried out in nine cities around the world shows that the thumbs of people under the age of 25 have taken over as the hand's most dexterous digit, said The Observer.

    My research shows I've become very adept at casting spells in video games.

    Oh, and sorry about turning any readers into a newt, this morning, I'm still working on that one.

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  12. Dance Dance Revolution? by Lontas · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does this mean playing Dance Dance Revolution will mutate me into a skilled martial artist?

  13. so.... by Emugamer · · Score: 4, Funny

    does this mean the phrase "all thumbs" is now a compliment?

  14. stigmata by llamalicious · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thank god someone finally went public with this.
    For years now, I've noticed myself using my thumbs for everything: opening doors, eating, picking things up, and almost everything I use my hands for.
    I've hid my hands in shame for so long now, thinking I was a freak. At least now I can take the mittens off... ~sniff~

  15. I am Jack's right hand thumb being interviewed by eamonman · · Score: 2, Funny

    WTWF (World Thumb Wrestling Federation) Announcer: So how does it feel to be thumb of tech-kid of this current generation?

    Hulk Thumb: I am the fastest, meanest, fight'n machine in the world. Thumbs in the old days might have been tougher and suntaned, with their hosts playing outside for amusement... But I, as the top thumb wrestler in this new day, I say that thumbs like me would have beat down all those old thumbs. I mean, during my sparring matches, my host doesn't even autofire! I use one of my moves, the 'Spastic Attack,' to pummel my training partner, Mr. A button.

    WTWF: So are you challenging any and all older thumbs to a match?

    Hulk: Gene, what did I say. I will destroy all comers. I am so agile, so powerful, that no one can avoid my pin.

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    0- Eamonman Proud member of DNRC
  16. Re:Not a mutation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    b) not happen at all. How does scoring more points on your gameboy increase your reproductive fitness?
    Come on, you must be kidding!

    I've lost the count of the number of times I've heard "no sex till you share your pokémons with me"!

    Being able to catch strange creatures give you a definitive advantage (some call it sex-appeal).

  17. the older generation by mmusn · · Score: 2, Funny

    The older generation has said for years that the younger generation is all thumbs. This research now proves it.

  18. Re:Not a mutation by apg · · Score: 3, Funny

    How does scoring more points on your gameboy increase your reproductive fitness?

    Those Verizon Wireless ads seem to make it pretty clear that people who are better at sending text messages get all the hot chicks.