Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft To Start Running Anti-Unix Ads
PhreakinPenguin writes: "According to this article on News.com, Microsoft and Unisys are preparing to pay for a slew of ads to 'undermine' Unix with the theme of 'We have the way out.' They are apparently hyping that Unix is an expensive money trap. One ad states, 'No wonder Unix makes you feel boxed in. It ties you to an inflexible system. It requires you to pay for expensive experts. It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever.' Unisys is apparently putting up $25 million and Microsoft won't say how much they're chipping in but you can bet it's more than Unisys." As the article notes, this comes after floundering attempts to sell (through Dell, Compaq and Hewlett-Packard) the high-end Unisys machines pushed by these ads.
I'd rather pay for expensive experts than hand over $4 for a six pack of MCSEs.
It would be nice to see Sun and IBM, etc.. to start running some straight on anti-microsoft ads. I do like Sun's comment
"As for Unix being 'inflexible,' 'expensive,' and 'complex,' we feel those are terms much better suited to the closed and proprietary world of Windows."
Now if they will only put that into an ad of their own, that whole reply, sums up this marketing campaine very nicly.
... hopefully accompanied by a massive thud as all those flying Windows XP people drop from the sky.
In the long run, we're all dead. -- John Maynard Keynes
Well, web servers are a minor part of an enterprises computing needs. I mean, no one does actual business over the web, right?
Sun responded to the campaign in a statement.
"Sun still does not see Microsoft as a real threat in
the datacenter market where reliability, availability,
serviceability and security are key," [snip]
"We are all about customer satisfactionability, system
uptimeability, and cracker stopability", added Scott McCowboyNeal.
--
Well, better yet, switch to GNU, because we all know what that's not.
"Unix may be unflexible and proprietary--but Gnu's Not Unix."
well, in some countries, Coke is better for you than the local water supply, so it's really not such a bad thing on that level.
FADE FROM BLACK, a DISTRESSED MAN in a business suit is sitting across from a RELAXED MAN wearing a tie and dress shirt.
DISTRESSED MAN: "Yeah, I had to get out of the office. The servers have been down all morning, and our clients are getting really upset with out excuses. They keep telling us to reboot, and they've been rebooting the servers, but the fact is, we're losing business. Losing money."
RELAXED MAN sips coffee: "Mmm-hmmm"
DISTRESSED MAN: "I don't know how much more of this we can take. It's a dog eat dog world out there. But I guess this is just part of doing business... I mean, computers go down. That's life in the office."
RELAXED MAN smiles and sets his coffee cup down, looking down: "Well... not really"
DISTRESSED MAN: "Yeah-ha... like your systems don't ever go down".
RELAXED MAN smiles and leans forward: "No. We use Linux".
FADE TO BLACK, title: Linux. Because Time is Money
--
Evan
"$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
I guess considering the crappy performance of their servers in the marketplace, they now have to bad mouth the competition.
Thank god that all of us here at Slashdot don't ever badmouth or try to undermine Microsoft. Those bastards.
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
"You will never see a blue screen of death with Unix".
What about "Our technical support engineers won't tell you to reinstall everything every time you call us."?
Something in my dinner must have been spoiled last night, becasue this dream isn't even funny.
Microsoft, the monopolist, the Marquis de "lock-in", the ace of audits, the prince of product activation, the squire of "We don't need no stinkin' interoperability", is running ads warning IT shops about painting themselves into corner?
Damn!
At least the whine about expensive experts makes sense. Anybody dumb enough to buy this pitch is sure to feel uncomfortable around people who know what they're doing.
It ties you to an inflexible system.
I know you are but what am I?
It requires you to pay for expensive experts.
I know you are but what am I?
It makes you struggle daily with a server environment that's more complex than ever
I know you are but what am I?
I'm thinking of something similar to those car ads where owner one keeps asking owner two if the model he has, has same features.
They could have a purple Mercedes or some other obviously nice quality vehicle. standing next to a Yugo with all the body panels and doors in mismatched Microsoft colors. Even just a picture of the two vehicles in profile, side by side, with the line "which one would you want?"
for the extra twist of the knife the drivers in the Yugo can squeel that "you don't have to know what you're doing when you own one of these".
Heck I right now freely give Sun the permission to use this idea. No Cost. No such permission is granted to anyone promoting Microsoft.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
I have to assume you either fell through a synchrotron beam this morning or your coffee pot was too close to the uranium plasma frabulator. Foo help us if you're serious. Unless you really like to watch a windows box try to count past 4.
Anyway, I view these ad's as Microsoft caving. They obviously trying to break into the "big iron" market. To bad M$! Unix will be pretty much impossible to replace.
--- Think of it as evolution in action ---
When I get some time I'm going to figure out how to reproduce it, then write a little killwin2k script. Then, next time the guy sitting next to me on the airplane won't turn his sound down while I'm trying to sleep, I'll just whip out my little Infrared Packets of Death!
Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
Grace Hopper didn't need no steenkin kernel. Real geek women used toggle switches and patchcords. None of this OS handholding.
You'd have to make sure it crashes every few hours.
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but not their own facts."
... here's the way to kill off Unix:
...
... if they support Unix we inflict financial pain on them. We also make applications and we are never going to make applications for Unix nor will we ever include Unix and mixed platform training in our certification programs. We own the future and our future does not include Unix. If you are not with us you are against us. Terrorists use Unix and we don't. We are an American corporation and not an un-American, piracy supporting, hacker terrorist, old-fashioned and expensive foreign command line corporation. And in conclusion:
"Unix is old and unreliable. If you can find a high-priced Unix expert to maintain your system you're in luck because thanks to our efforst there are practically *no Unix experts left*. Everyone has become expert in the low cost reliable and new systems offered by Microsoft. Have you ever seen an MCSE who konws anything about Unix?? Is there a USCE - no there isn't. And which is newer and has more graphics and buttons and stuff an MCSE manual or Unix expert manual? We rest our case
We make server OSes and dominate several large hardware makers
YOU ARE EITHER FOR US OR AGAINST US (AND AGAINST AMERICA AND FREEDOM). Oh yeah we are monopolists and we have decided Unix is dead - what more evidence do you need that it *is* dead?"
Thank you.
So Unix is inflexible. I take that to mean that Microsoft's products are incredibly flexible. So they'd have no problem disassociating Internet Explorer and all the other "value added" software, and releasing a lite version of Windows, right?
Right?
Hello?
SIGFEH
Not that I'm a big fan of their software solutions, but Novell has a new video which may or may not (I don't know for sure either way) become a running commercial ad. It's very amusing and carries the sentiment of virtually every geek out there. Might be a nice thing to mention to the bosses next time they come up with the "great idea" of digging themselves further into Microsoft products.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Fun fun fun, here's my counter ad: Some guy is painting, painting painting with purple paint until he has painted himself into a corner. Then, all he does it step on to the WALL (defying gravity) and finish painting that corner while walking sideways on the wall.
Then flash some slogan like:
"We don't see problems, we see solutions"
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
Your datacenter is the lifeblood of your company. And you don't want to hire an expensive expert to administer it? Fool!
A Government Is a Body of People, Usually Notably Ungoverned
"It [Unix] requires you to pay for expensive experts..." So this means Windows experts are cheap? According to Microsoft's own logic, MCSE is a commodity (cheap labor) market. Attention Computer Science students: Adjust your course selection and career plans accordingly.
This would be great at a ms demonstration show. Remember what happened when Bill Gates demonstrated windows98 in front of 40,000 people in Chicago and it crashed. :-)
I can see it all now. Bill Gates is demonstrating the supperior scalability of MS-SQL-Server.NET and someone like yourself with a palm crashes it and a blue screen shows in front of tech reporters, CIO's, lots and lots of potential customers. If this wont scare the shit of phb's then I don't know what will.
http://saveie6.com/