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Intel Puts The Squeeze On ... A Yoga Foundation?

geogeek6_7 writes: "Intel Inc., everyone's favorite chipmaker, has apparently decided that they own the rights to the word 'Inside.' In proceedings bordering on the line of frivolity, the Yoga Inside Foundation has been tagged with trademark infringment in papers submitted to the PTO by Intel. The article states that Intel will most likely use the Trademark Dilution Act of 1995 in court." Don't worry, Intel doesn't want every instance of the word "Inside" -- only the ones that come right after another word. (Look at the meaning of "Inside" that the YIF is referring to, and the story gets even more absurd.)

35 of 384 comments (clear)

  1. TV Small Court of Sanity by ghostlibrary · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I think there should be a new reality TV Show, "Small Court of Sanity". Unlike current People's Court/Judge Judy TV shows, where individuals do small claims, this would be the first case where any lawsuit by a multimillion dollar company vs a much smaller entity would be aired.

    Yep, the big companies would _have_ to use this court before the case was allowed to go (via appeal) to the usual federal courts. No lawyers, just like small court-- just the 2 sides presenting their case to a telegenic judge. Shown publically, to expose how ludicrious this is.

    Court costs would, of course, be covered by advertising. The rest would go to the US gov't (thus probably wiping out the national debt in just 3 seasons...)

    And hey, once the corps realized that the negative PR cost of being displayed as total loons on daytime TV cost more than nuking some pitiful NPO or individual, maybe fewer would be filed.

    At least moving these things away from the horrible, horrible process that is our modern judiciary would give some recourse to individuals and small entities. You know it's bad when I'm recommending jerry springer-like exposure over the court system.

    --
    A.
  2. Keeping up Appearances. by tcd004 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "Intel spokesman Chuck Mulloy said the company knows it could come off looking to some like a bully."

    This is the understatement of the year.

    The yoga people are offering the Intel Exec's free lessons so that they can learn to be a little more "flexible." If I were in Intel PR, I'd jump on that opportunity right away, and issue a press release the next morning.

    Witness the rebirth of ENRON!

    tcd004

    1. Re:Keeping up Appearances. by AnalogBoy · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hmm. Who knows, if the BigCo[tm] C?O's took yoga from these people, maybe the world would be a bigger practice. Western "Spanish Inquisition" tactics giving way to eastern philosophy.. a new synergy could form among the tech industry.. Sun & Intel get together to form the most powerful and cheap chips to empower everyone on the planet for their own good.. Sun, RedHat, and Microsoft get together to make a unified OS with the powers of each and the weaknesses of none that anyone on the planet could use simply, but would handle the most difficult task with sveltely..

      Err.. hold on... this isn't a marlboro.

    2. Re:Keeping up Appearances. by Negadecimal · · Score: 5, Funny

      The yoga people are offering the Intel Exec's free lessons so that they can learn to be a little more "flexible."

      Intel should take a lesson from Southwest Airlines. A few years back, some small North Carolina company called them up claiming to have prior rights to "Just Plane Smart". And instead of threatening legal action, they suggested an arm-wrestling match - i.e. winner takes the trademark.

      Southwest actually sent a wrestler (who lost), and won a ton of PR points for it.

  3. New warning sign at Intel's headquarters... by tshak · · Score: 5, Funny

    WARNING: Lawyers Inside.

    --

    There is no longer anything that can be done with computers that is nontrivial and clearly legal. -- Paul Phillips
    1. Re:New warning sign at Intel's headquarters... by i_am_nitrogen · · Score: 3, Funny

      I guess this means we can't invite people to "Come Inside" anymore... "Sorry folks, you're going to have to stand in the freezing rain, because Intel will sue me if I ask you to ... uh...."

  4. Intel had better watch out... by roseanne · · Score: 3, Funny
    What with going after a *yoga* school, all that bad karma could hammer them down.

    :-)

  5. The Intel Lawyer Trademark by Black+Art · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess the lawyers for Intel have a trademark on "Evil Inside".

    I guess their lawyers figure people will confused between yoga and a company with their head up their ass.

    --
    "Trademarks are the heraldry of the new feudalism."
  6. Seen outside Intel HQ... by phillymjs · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Litigious Assholes Inside"

    ~Philly

  7. Intel is just protecting consumer rights by 1001+0000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I called intel tech support and they said the reason my new CPU won't boot is because its actually a 2 week yoga program. I felt a little embarrassed, but the techie said it's a common complaint and Intel is working on it.

  8. They're all spoiled, now. by Corvaith · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Once upon a time, people worried about trademarks. They worried about trademarks because 'aspirin' had become a generic, and they worried that this might happen to them. They wanted to protect what was theirs. Companies competed with each other, and it was good.

    Capitalism is good, in its pure and properly practiced form--unfortunately, so is any other form of economy. The bigger companies contributed to political campaigns, and so they began to get judges to rule in their favor even when, perhaps, it wasn't something they really had a right to. They paid for privacy when someone should have looked over their shoulders.

    And then it gradually came to the point where large businesses *expected* this privilege. I can't blame Intel because they're behaving in a way which corporate America not only accepts but encourages. They're no longer motivated by a search for prosperity but by mere greed--they are the gluttons who want more food even when they can't eat anymore.

    These lawsuits are the symptoms, not the disease. People need to become aware of the business practices of the companies they patronize, and modify their spending habits appropriately. They need to let their representatives know that the interests of business aren't *their* interests.

    Once the people take the power *back* from the corporations, maybe the world will regain some of its sanity again. Remember, in America, even if you can't vote, you are an all-important Consumer--pay attention to the choices you make.

  9. Rush Out 'n' Register by nick_davison · · Score: 5, Funny

    It kind of makes want to rush out and register "Just To Make Our Lawyers Fuzzy Inside". Just picture the court room.

    "Yes, your honor, we are suing Just To Make Our Lawyers Fuzzy Inside"

    Finally, some honesty in the legal system. :)

  10. NIN by Waffle+Iron · · Score: 4, Funny
    In other news, the rock band Nine Inch Nails was forced to recall copies of it's blockbuster album "The Downward Spiral" from store shelves. This in response to intense government pressure calling for censorship of the lyrics to the hit song "Closer".

    They will be shortly re-issuing the CD with these sanitized lyrics that are more compatible with current American sensitivities:

    I want to FUCK you like an animal

    I want to feel you from the in***e

    When asked for comment, band leader Trent Reznor said: "Yeah, I'm upset about this. But I feel better knowing that I've personally scored more chicks than all of the dorks working at Intel combined."

  11. Yoga...The path of peace by javaman235 · · Score: 5, Informative

    The word Yoga, for those who don't know actually means "union", and refers to the state of oneness with God and all humanity sought by the practitioners. It has many different flavors, only one of which is "Hatha Yoga", or "health union", which seeks to bring health to the body, so higher thoughts can be focused on before going to INNER yoga, which includes schools or raja, kriya, bhakti, and karma yoga, many of which some scholars believe have been passed on for as many as 4,000 years orally, and are refered to in the hindu vedas.

    These people have been refering to yoga as an inner thing for thousands of years. If that's not prior use please shoot me.

    --
    -The art of programming is the pursuit of absolute simplicity.
  12. quote by Phroggy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Excerpt from new OSHA regulation on computer systems: "....if said motherboard is equipped with an Intel central processing unit, an appropriate warning label bearing the words 'Intel Inside' shall be permanently affixed to the case in a prominent location."

    - Bruce Murphy

    --
    $x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
    $x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
  13. The difference between karma and /. karma by yerricde · · Score: 4, Informative

    all that bad karma could hammer them down.

    The difference between Hindu karma and Slashdot "karma" (capped cumulative moderation result) is that with Hindu karma, you can't just reset your karma to neutral by killing yourself (i.e. creating another account). Your karma (action) has to follow dharma (the good way) if you want the god to give you the Bonus in the next life. See also Hindu Karma FAQ.

    --
    Will I retire or break 10K?
  14. Intel, fuck you by dh003i · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This is a bunch of bullshit. Intel, please don't blame others for your assinite attempts to own the English language. Its not the laws fault that you're assholes. Not only that, but who FORCED you to trademark a COMMON word like Inside? There are many common usages of the word inside which have another describing word preceeding it.

    "We can't let a precedent be set," he explained. " 'Yoga Inside' might not sound bad, but what happens when someone comes along with 'Apple Inside'?"

    If its in reference to an Apple being in an apple orchard, that's fucking fine.

    Even if its Apple computer, who said you have the right to trademark common words? If Apple came up with an add that said something like:

    "Apple Inside"

    there's nothing wrong with that either. After all, that's what it is: Its an Apple. Since its also an Apple on the outside, they might say something like:

    Apple Outside. Apple Inside.

    This is just plain ludicrous. Other people shouldn't be prevented from using the ENGLISH LANGUAGE to their benefit because you assholes can't be original and trademark things that aren't already words.

    By the way, you fucking assholes, there's something called the First Amendment. It has constitutional basis, so it trumps any "trademark" laws.

    This is no different than IBM trying to trademark the "e" symbol with a circle around it. Come on. That's fucking bullshit.

    Suggesting to Intel, IBM, and other lamers who are trying to own the English Language by trademarks: if your going to make a trademark, make up a word/symbol for it. Suggestion to Intel for a REAL trademark:

    "Intelliside"

    Oh wait, because of assholes like you Intel fucks, MS might sue you for trademark violations of its "IntelliPoint" mouse.

    Other assholes include Nike, both for trademarking the word "Nike" and for trademarking the Nike symbol. Nike is the greek god of victory, closely associated with Athena/Minerva. And her symbol was the same symbol that the Nike shoe uses. Sounds like fucking prior art to me. Not to mention, it should be public domain.

    1. Re:Intel, fuck you by swillden · · Score: 3, Insightful

      This is no different than IBM trying to trademark the "e" symbol with a circle around it. Come on. That's fucking bullshit.

      Good post up to here. Actually it's completely different. The circled 'e' was a new symbol, a character that hadn't been used before. The obvious relationship with the @ symbol and the use of the letter 'e' was so clever that in retrospect it seems obvious. But it wasn't obvious, and it was a completely new symbol (AFAIK; if others had used it before, I retract this entire argument).

      Inventing a clever logo and trademarking it seems like a *perfectly* legitimate thing to do and completely different from trying to trademark common words like "Inside" or "Windows".

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
    2. Re:Intel, fuck you by dh003i · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Please, so if I make a symbol with an i and a circle around it for information, i should own that? Come on. Putting a circle around a letter or symbol is not clever. I can put a circle around any letter in the keyboard...doesn't mean I should be able to trademark it.

  15. Re:Dear God, is there no way... by Ozan · · Score: 4, Informative

    Oh there are other countries' companies who act so bully. For example Deutsche Telekom, who had a daughter T-Online sued anyone who had a word beginning with 'T-' as mark, e.g. "T-arif". They even sued someone who used magenta as main color in his website because, according to them, the color was associated with Telekom too much.

  16. Karma time by quantaman · · Score: 3, Funny

    provider of yoga lessons, especially one that's so clearly fighting the good fight, karmawise.

    Does anyone know how I can contact them?
    I want some more Karma!!!

    --
    I stole this Sig
  17. Can we trademark regular expressions? by NFW · · Score: 3, Funny
    I used to work for a company called Connectsoft, whose flagship product was Email Connection. We had a couple others, like Font Connection, Clip-Art Connection, we had an idea called Grocery Connection and demo of (I kid you not) Pizza Connection. One of my fellow employees once lamented that we couldn't trademark a regular expression. Like maybe ".+\ Connection"

    So now I have to wonder. According to Intel, we could have.

    Is it to late to trademark "Virtual\ .+" ?

    --
    Build stuff. Stuff that walks, stuff that rolls, whatever.
  18. 80,000 variations by Bongo · · Score: 3, Funny

    There are 80 basic Yoga postures, and 80,000 variations.

    And not one of them is called the 'intel'.

    In fact, the only posture you'll find associated with an 'intel', is the "shoulderhouchedoverkeyboardstrainedneckahansa" -- and that is definetly not a classic Yoga posture.

    There's also the "repetitivestressisfuckingmywristsahansa", and the "mybodywilldieprematurelyfromlackofexcerciseahansa " posture.

    But none of these will be found on a Yoga video.

    And don't get me started on diet.

    Really, "Yoga" is associated with health, while "intel" is associated with unhealth.

    Yoga means the joining of mind and body. Intel means the joining of your arse to the chair.

    There is no possibility of confusing these two things, 'yoga' and 'intel'.

    I suggest the lawyers sow a label onto the back of their trowsers, "shit inside", and then they can sue their own asses off.

  19. Re:New letter for Intel HQ by dimator · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dear Intel,
    How about I jam my foot inside your ass.

    Yours,
    dimator

    --
    python -c "x='python -c %sx=%s; print x%%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))%s'; print x%(chr(34),repr(x),chr(34))"
  20. Devil Inside by Jett · · Score: 3, Funny

    Here Come The Woman
    With The Look In Her Eye
    Raised On Leather
    With Flesh On Her Mind
    Words As Weapons Sharper Than Knives
    Makes You Wonder How The Other Half Die
    Other Half Die

    Here Come The Man
    With The Look In His Eye
    Fed On Nothing
    But Full Of Pride
    Look At Them Go
    Look At Them Kick
    Makes You Wonder How The Other Half Live

    Intel inside
    Intel inside
    Every Single One Of Us With Intel inside
    Intel inside
    Intel inside
    Every Single One Of Us With Intel inside

    Here Come The World
    With The Look In Its Eye Future Uncertain
    But Certainly Slight
    Look At The Faces
    Listen To The Bells

    It's Hard To Believe We Need A Place Called Hell

  21. Re:So High Inside by Chiasmus_ · · Score: 4, Interesting

    (sorry... no infringing use of the song by the same name was intended...)...

    Actually, song titles are one of the few things you still can't trademark or copyright.

    I used to work at Tower Records, and let me tell you, take any common word or cliche, like, say, "Broken" or "Not this time", and run them through the database, and you'll find 15 or 20 songs of the same name.

    In fact, the band Death Cab for Cutie lifted its name directly from the title of an old Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band song - and, believe it or not, Bonzo had absolutely no legal remedy.

    --
    "Beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he deems himself your master."
  22. Unfair tactics by tetro · · Score: 4, Funny

    How dare you people criticize the little guys like Intel. Larger non-profit (profit-making) business like YIF have forced feeble organizations like Intel into submission. Most people don't know that YIF distributes products such as the Yoga Pentium and the Yoga Celeron. Give peace a chance!

    --
    .smell my feet.
  23. Some Googlevidence (TM!!) by mattr · · Score: 4, Interesting
    There is a 1997 book on Amazon called Yoga Inside & Out: Exploring Your Chakras with Batsheva here.

    Yoga Inside has been active since 1999 based on work done in 1995 by Mark Stephens in LA juvenile detention camps with six Tibetan monks sent by the Dalai Lama. here

    That book has a website, www.yoga-insideout.com, here

    "Inside and Out" is a popular way of describing holistic health, and the phrase "yoga inside" is commonly used to describe the experience, like the site here.

    There is a travel company called Inside India which works with several Yoga therapy centers for health tours, here.

    Barbara Kallir directed an instructional video guide to tantric yoga, "Inside Westside". Recommended for the Lawyers after those free courses, here.

    Couldn't find a link between the Dalai Lama and Intel, unless you count that both are successful exiles. Although Apple struck the Dalai Lama from their Asian billboards so maybe ..nah.

    The fourth most popular use of the word conjunction "yoga inside" on the web, after the prison project, the video, and general discussions of yoga and health experiences, is Intel's suit. How many hundreds of millions of dollars of PR is this costing Intel I wonder? Maybe the defendant should get the video publisher to join in, seems like they are making lots of money with their domain name.

  24. In other words. by Malcontent · · Score: 3, Insightful

    How you shop is just as important as how you vote if not more so.

    Shopping is something you do every day voting is once a year (if you show up for local elections).

    Shopping effects corporations which are more powerful then the govt and for all practical purposes own the govt. How you spend your dollars has a much bigger impact on the composition of your community and country then how you vote.

    Unfortunately the number of people who are mindful of their spending is smaller then the number of people who vote.

    What a pathetic country we live in.

    --

    War is necrophilia.

  25. Why blame a corp? by jeti · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The job of a corporation is to make money. To
    increase shareholder value. You can hardly blame
    them for trying to do that. Even if you don't
    like the means.

    It is the job of governments to create and enforce
    rules that corps have to comply to. It is the job
    of a government to care for the goods of its
    citizens.

    If the jurisdiction fails, put the blame where it
    belongs.

    1. Re:Why blame a corp? by sjames · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The job of a corporation is to make money. To increase shareholder value. You can hardly blame them for trying to do that. Even if you don't like the means.

      The duty of any human being is to behave in an ethical manner. The duty of any citizen is to promote the good of his/her society.

      Those duties superceed any duty as an employee or shareholder of a corperation. Since a corperation is made up solely of employees and shareholders, behaving in an ethical manner and promoting the good of society are the top two duties. Therefore, increasing shareholder value must be accomplished through ethical behaviour in a way that promotes the good of society.

      If a corperation behaves in an ethical manner, it can, with care, meet it's second obligation by meeting it's third. This is true because producing a useful product or service while enhancing the prosperity of it's constituants is good for society. The key is to make sure that it's means to that end do not cause more harm than good.

      Government exists solely to require and facilitate the first two duties. All that it does must be a means to those ends. It is meant to be both a forum where citizens may discuss what constitutes ethical behavoiur and the good of society, and as an organizer to promote that good. Legislation is meant to be an enumeration of the findings of that forum. Criminal court and law enforcement share the sad but necessary function of stopping and correcting people who fail in their duties in a manner consistant with that forum's findings. Courts also act as a lesser forum with a narrower focus where the enumeration (law) is clarified and applied to individual circumstance.

      The failure of government to perform it's function does not relieve ANYONE (member of a corperation or not) of their duties. If the law fails to enumerate a necessary behaviour (or restraint) and the court must err on the side of leniancy (in the hope of minimising harm), that does not in itself make an action acceptable.

      Closer to the topic at hand, In this matter, To date, Intel is behaving better than many other corperations might in this matter. It could do much better. If it would think flexibly and use the money a legal battle would cost (or even a fraction of it) to sponsor Yoga Inside instead, it would do much more good for society as well as for itself and avoid the potential damage to the strength of it's trademark that a finding for the defendant might cause.

  26. C-Grade Lawyers vs. Groucho Marx by jmichaelg · · Score: 4, Interesting

    This isn't the first time some idiots masquerading as lawyers have tried to bully someone.

    Warner Brother's staff counsel made the mistake of threatening Groucho Marx because he had announced a new movie with the name "Casablanca" in it. Here is Groucho's initial response... What's truly amazing is that Warner Brother's didn't understand how stupid they looked after getting Groucho's initial letter. The exchange continued for several more letters until somebody at Warner Brothers finally got the message.

    Need a sig? Here, have this one...
    Intel Hires Idiots

  27. Ferrari 308 GTB by kfg · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'm sorry, but you're simply wrong. Peugot has often *claimed* to won those numbers, but they certainly don't. In the case of Porsche they decided they couldn't afford to fight Peugot in court and "voluntarily" acquiesed.

    What's more you are under the impression that trademark is intellectual property. It isn't. It is association in the public's mind, and if the public loses that association you lose the right to the exclusive right to use the mark, as in Band-Aid and Kleenex.

    As such, in a very real and legal way, a trademark is the "intellectual property" of the public!

    A trademark is an item that can be uniquely identified with a business. A company is granted the "temporary" right to the exclusive use of the mark only so long as it is, and remains, a unique indentifier.

    As it happens a car model number with zero in the middle does *not* uniquely identify a Peugot, and "Yoga Inside" does NOT conjur up images of computer chips.

    Thus neither is a valid trademark.

    KFG

    1. Re:Ferrari 308 GTB by Tackhead · · Score: 3, Insightful
      > Peugot has often *claimed* to won those numbers, but they certainly don't. In the case of Porsche they decided they couldn't afford to fight Peugot in court and "voluntarily" acquiesed.

      This must be some strange definition of the word "voluntary" of which I was previously unaware.

      Do you perchance work for the IRS, which claims (with a straight face, no less) that the U.S. tax system "is based on individual self-assessment and voluntary compliance"?

      Would you defend a rapist in court with "Your Honor, in the case of the young woman in question, she decided she didn't have the physical capability to fight my client in the back alley, and voluntarily decided to have sex before going to the nearest hospital emergency room?"

  28. What's REALLY inside? by Loki_1929 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ok, with all this fuss from Intel about "Intel inside" and the mystical powers it endows upon Intel that allow it to sue innocent companies, I decided to check it out.

    "Check what out?" you might ask. Well, in short, I wanted to check out what's 'inside'. So I did.

    Now, to do this with a Pentium 4 would be silly. It's an expensive chip and I don't like the idea of supporting Intel's legal BS with my purchases. I found a couple of 486's laying around (33MHz if you're curious) and decided I should immediately set out to find out what's 'inside'.

    Noticing the top is one piece told me to focus my efforts on relieving the chips of their bottom plate which I theorized (having neither the time nor the inclination to actually find out) were simply either glued or soldered on. Working under this theory, I tried using a small straighthead scewdriver to scrape away whatever was holding it in place on the outside and try to pry under the plate.

    After realizing this was going nowhere fast, I looked around and decided the best way in was to reverse the process by which it was assembled. Keep in mind I had no intention of trying to actually do anything with what I found, nor do I have the expertise to figure out how any of it worked. I just wanted to see what the hell is 'inside'. I therefore decided to use a small butaine torch. This should, I theorized, heat up the glue or whatever enough to allow me to get into the plate.

    I'm going to say this once and I hope everyone listens... DO NOT TRY THIS YOURSELF WITHOUT GLOVES, LONG SLEEVES, LONG PANTS, AND GOGGLES! Also make sure someone is very nearby (within talking distance) in case something goes wrong. I STRONGLY recommend you NOT try this AT ALL.

    Ok, now torch in one hand, vice grips in the other, I proceeded to heat the plate up as much as possible. Pins were glowing, popping and crackling sounds were easily heart, and I started smelling a rather odd burning smell. Eventually the plate came off (dropped off the first one, was pryed off the second one) and I got my first look at what's 'inside'.

    Take it from me Intel, this ain't worth suing over. Fire your lawyers and go back to making stuff. It's basically a little rectangular piece of material held into place by a bunch of small gold traces (one for each pin). It looks like the hologram cards from the old Marvel X-men cards. Well, I figured I should investigate further, so I lit up my investigation tool (torch) and went back to work. After maybe 10 minutes of torching various places, the chip pretty much exploded. I have to hand it to Intel, their die held up pretty well until the chip blew apart. Basically, there was a loud 'pop' and about half the cpu flew off to my right about 4 or 5 feet. Pieces of the die went all over and it was altogether really cool.

    So anyway, that's the basic story, second CPU didn't explode, and by then I had taken out goggles and gloves to protect myself in case it did. So without further adu, I send you off here so you can see the pictures of what's 'inside'. Trademarks have been edited out for my continued enjoyment of not getting tossed in an 8x10 foot cell with "Bubba".

    Enjoy.

    --
    -- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."