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CPAN Shifts Focus
cascadefx writes "Looks like CPAN has changed its focus to support Java now. A look at their page shows that is is now CJAN, the Comprehensive Java Archive Network where you will find all things Java." This should be a great boon
to Java, a language renown for, well, sucking. But at the expense of the greatest
of all languages? It's just too sad for me to express in words. I mean, who uses java anyway?
fp
can you say "hat trick" you stupid banned AC bitches? b00yah!
Jack Buck (1924-2002)
Darryl Kile (1968-2002)
Is this Hemos' revenge on Taco?
--
Twoflower
Who uses java?
People who don't need an unsigned data type.
Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
Java really does suck. Just look at this latest press release...
Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark infringement
against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* trademark.
Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time they
never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."
Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name.
They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an angry telegram
from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise. The country finally
settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee cup which still
evokes the idea of java. Since most newspapers and magazines will not be
able to print the name of the island, it will hereafter be referred to in
print as "The Island Formerly Known As Java*".
The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass island,
but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay
Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on Madagascar,
but it is still in alpha testing.
Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery
ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for
them...
*Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using the
trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and forced to
use Microsoft products.
(Taken from an old Usenet post.)
In other news, Sun Microsystems shifts focus to .net instead. Get the full article here.
.net strategy. The development tools alone with all their templates and wizards just make it too good for us to ignore. It also allows us to collect more data from the applications developed everywhere on the net. Thanks to the agreement you agree to when installing the package, we can collect pretty much any piece of information from every system."
.net applications becomes in reality a huge testing facility where we can ship, near ready, products too. The data collected enables us to weed out the bugs and security issues quickly and we can release patches on a cheap subscription basis"
"We know a better system when we see it", says Ed Zander, President and Chief Operating Officer, Sun Microsystems, Inc.
"To be honest, we don't quite see a future without a proper
But is that not too intrusive?
"No I don't think so, think about it. With that kind of feedback the installed base of
And it continues..
Well I for one, is surpriced to say the least. What will be next, dumping Solaris?
(looks around)
Nope.
(I would've posted this anonymously, but it had to be said) .NYET program. Users will pay a regular fee for the service. Called CMAN-The Comprehensive Microsoft Archive Network, the service is expected to be quite a boon to the recently downtrodden company.
In other news, Microsoft has decided to begin an archive of all their software as part of their new
Buisnesses reacted happily to the news. "We're ecstatic" an anonymous buiness person said, "Microsoft kept giving us shit, but now we've got CMAN!".
The Linux community seemed confused at the news. Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda declared "CMAN? I've been enjoying CMAN for years! Microsoft can't just go and copyright it! This offends my nerdish sensibilities! I want my CMAN!" Malda later said that if the CMAN network was as good as the hype, he would switch to an all-Microsoft platform. "If this CMAN is really high-grade, enterprise level stuff, then I think I'll switch to a Microsoft platform."
Microsoft stock was up sharply on the news. An anonymous trader said "It was like the NASDAQ floor was covered in CMAN! Microsoft rocks my world!".
For the record, my feelings on the Slashdot April Fools Embroglio rests firmly in the uninterested. I have almost zero opinion on the final outcome of April Fools postings. I love Slashdot, and will probably subscribe at some point to support the site, but April Fools jokes are dull (to me).
This easy dismissal of the value of the only providers of interesting and insightful content on Slashdot is offensive. Thus, I propose a small revolt. The (Hopefully) Great April Fools Blackout.
T(H)GAFB will be during April 1 through April 1. Easy to remember, a shitload of useless articles will be posted. During that time, I will not be enjoying posting, or reading comments from the home page.
During that day, I'd like to see if Slashdot becomes a better place, or if it becomes the Hallowed Shrine of Troll.
This is where the (Hopefully) comes in. This is only meaningful if enough agree to go along and participate. If there is only me and a handful of others who cease enjoying Slashdot during that week, it will be pretty meaningless.
My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!
Seeing has how your "real work" appears to be bitching about the AFD stories on Slashdot, it appears you're in good company. Perhaps you should throw a party for all your new-found friends?
I think of "150000 lines of Perl" the same way I'd think of 100 million lines of C -- it's conceivable that much could exist, but I can imagine no problem whose solution demands so much complexity.
cheers,
mike