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CPAN Shifts Focus
cascadefx writes "Looks like CPAN has changed its focus to support Java now. A look at their page shows that is is now CJAN, the Comprehensive Java Archive Network where you will find all things Java." This should be a great boon
to Java, a language renown for, well, sucking. But at the expense of the greatest
of all languages? It's just too sad for me to express in words. I mean, who uses java anyway?
fp
can you say "hat trick" you stupid banned AC bitches? b00yah!
Jack Buck (1924-2002)
Darryl Kile (1968-2002)
please god make it stop!!
A different kind of animal
People who like to develop large distributed applications written by multiple people easy to understand.
Slashcode is/was a perfect example of how easy it is to make Perl unreadable.
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and enemy of growth. -JFK
Is this Hemos' revenge on Taco?
--
Twoflower
Java really does suck. Just look at this latest press release...
Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark infringement
against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* trademark.
Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time they
never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."
Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name.
They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an angry telegram
from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise. The country finally
settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee cup which still
evokes the idea of java. Since most newspapers and magazines will not be
able to print the name of the island, it will hereafter be referred to in
print as "The Island Formerly Known As Java*".
The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass island,
but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay
Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on Madagascar,
but it is still in alpha testing.
Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery
ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for
them...
*Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using the
trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and forced to
use Microsoft products.
(Taken from an old Usenet post.)
(looks around)
Nope.
(I would've posted this anonymously, but it had to be said) .NYET program. Users will pay a regular fee for the service. Called CMAN-The Comprehensive Microsoft Archive Network, the service is expected to be quite a boon to the recently downtrodden company.
In other news, Microsoft has decided to begin an archive of all their software as part of their new
Buisnesses reacted happily to the news. "We're ecstatic" an anonymous buiness person said, "Microsoft kept giving us shit, but now we've got CMAN!".
The Linux community seemed confused at the news. Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda declared "CMAN? I've been enjoying CMAN for years! Microsoft can't just go and copyright it! This offends my nerdish sensibilities! I want my CMAN!" Malda later said that if the CMAN network was as good as the hype, he would switch to an all-Microsoft platform. "If this CMAN is really high-grade, enterprise level stuff, then I think I'll switch to a Microsoft platform."
Microsoft stock was up sharply on the news. An anonymous trader said "It was like the NASDAQ floor was covered in CMAN! Microsoft rocks my world!".
This story is fake, but it did inspire me to do a Google search, which turned up CJAN: Comprehensive Java Archive Network. It's not up yet (the front page is just a blog), but it's coming. Seriously.
Will I retire or break 10K?
For the record, my feelings on the Slashdot April Fools Embroglio rests firmly in the uninterested. I have almost zero opinion on the final outcome of April Fools postings. I love Slashdot, and will probably subscribe at some point to support the site, but April Fools jokes are dull (to me).
This easy dismissal of the value of the only providers of interesting and insightful content on Slashdot is offensive. Thus, I propose a small revolt. The (Hopefully) Great April Fools Blackout.
T(H)GAFB will be during April 1 through April 1. Easy to remember, a shitload of useless articles will be posted. During that time, I will not be enjoying posting, or reading comments from the home page.
During that day, I'd like to see if Slashdot becomes a better place, or if it becomes the Hallowed Shrine of Troll.
This is where the (Hopefully) comes in. This is only meaningful if enough agree to go along and participate. If there is only me and a handful of others who cease enjoying Slashdot during that week, it will be pretty meaningless.
My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I likes it!
Java has a better library structure than perl, with each package being in a well defined place in the classpath. Also documentation for Java libraries tends to be better because of the javadoc comments that everybody writes. Regression tests and dependency checking for java libraries would be cool.
Luckily, there are great places to turn for java libraries even without CPAN supporting them. The Apache Project has many classes that I consider essential now. The Giant Java Tree has thousands of open source libraries. Not to mention the stuff I've written.
You guys must have really nothing to do on April fool's day if the only thing you have to do is come to slashdot and bitch and moan about the April Fool's joke CmdrTaco is running. If you don't like them, stop coming to Slashdot today. Come back tomorrow. Nobody will miss you I'm sure. As for the moderators who spend times modding down pro-april-foolscomments and modding up anti-april-fools commentes, get a f**king life. I unchecked the "Willing to Moderate" because moderators like you rated waste mod points on stupid posts and keep modding up crap. What's the point of modding up somthing to +5 insightfull if some other idiot mods up a fart joke +5 funny?
We all know that on a regular basis, the editors here at Slashdot reject very good stories in favor of, well, not so good stories (OKay, many are just plain stupid).
To add insult to injury, how many people here have submitted very intelligent, meaningful, and possibly important stories... only to have them rejected in favor of these stupid April Fools jokes. Slashdot is often referred to by many of us an intelligent and useful news source to "open source initiates" or other professionals.
Today however, like every other year, it descends into silliness. All useful content has been eliminated. Every story is an April Fools "joke" and thus, it's completely pointless because it's funny when you're tricked.
Editors, stop displacing useful content for this nonsense, please? I am sure there's lots of real stuff out there today amongst the cruft. Of course, this request will be ignored because the editors are so damn full of themselves.
I suggest everyone who got a story rejected post it as a reply to this post. Maybe we can actually get some stuff that matters.
Why bother.