CPAN Shifts Focus

cascadefx writes "Looks like CPAN has changed its focus to support Java now. A look at their page shows that is is now CJAN, the Comprehensive Java Archive Network where you will find all things Java." This should be a great boon to Java, a language renown for, well, sucking. But at the expense of the greatest of all languages? It's just too sad for me to express in words. I mean, who uses java anyway?

Comments

fp

[propstoalldeadhomiez]

fp

can you say "hat trick" you stupid banned AC bitches? b00yah!

make it stop!

[SnicklesTheElf]

please god make it stop!!

Re:make it stop!

[ywwg]

seriously guys, shut up already. NOT FUNNY.

Re:make it stop!

[BlowCat]

Note that such jokes can only fool those who think that it's so easy to kill an open source project like CPAN. Obviously Slashdot editors think that everybody with a clue has switched to better sites already.

Re:make it stop!

[majcher]

I agree. A good April Fool's gag should be clever and subtle, and make you actually stop to think, "Wait, I know it's April 1st, but is this real, or not?" Wil Wheaton's posting about his new role on Enterprise just about fits that - it's entirely plausible, and could quite possibly be true. Overall, though, this year's offerings have been lame and sad.

Of course, if Taco had any cojones on him at all, one of these years, he'd just redirect the front page to a certain site for 24 hours...

Re:make it stop!

[jgerman]

Actually this did get me, I hit perl.com a little while before I saw this story, clicked on CPAN and got a little confused. I figured there actually was a CJAN and someone screwed up some links ;). Clicking through though you end up where you're supposed to, heh.

Re:make it stop!

[flewp]

I agree. It's one thing to have a quality April Fools joke (I thought slashdot should have run a story claiming they were slashdotted, and when you clicked the link to slashdot inside the story summary, it told you that the maximum bandwidth had been exceeded, or some such nonsense). Instead, it seems like Slashdot (and the rest of the web for that matter) are going for quantity over quality.

When you can look at a story's headline and tell it's fake immediatly, it's just not funny. Lets face it, the April Fools stories posted here today are either blatently obvious that they're fake to most users, and to the others, they probably have no idea why it's supposed to be funny anyway. And, if it is something that's obviously fake, it better be well written. (Which I have failed to see anywhere really)

Next comes my third gripe. WHY THE HELL DO I KEEP CHECKING SLASHDOT ALL DAY TODAY? Granted, I had checked it more frequently earlier in the day, hoping for some good fun, but found none. As I would subsequently check again and again, I found the time between to be getting steadily longer. But you know what? I'm gonna check back again later. I also fully realise that it is MY doing that brings me to slashdot, no one is holding a gun to my head, but I still believe I should be able to complain if I want to, and so I will.

Anyway, it's all been said before, but it felt good to release, and I'm sure I'll see it again when I check back later.

Who uses java.

[duffbeer703]

People who like to develop large distributed applications written by multiple people easy to understand.

Slashcode is/was a perfect example of how easy it is to make Perl unreadable.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

Who uses java?

People who don't need an unsigned data type.

Re:Who uses java.

[Dr. Transparent]

Certainly not people who want intelligent APIs (try converting a string to an int or vice-versa). Certainly not people who need to overload operators for the sake of code-readability (but sun can override them for their string class - nazis). Certainly not anyone who values performance. And certainly not anyone who isn't stuck in academia with their head up their butt. Java is on its way out, and I'm kickin it in the butt as it goes. Java Sucks!!

Re:Who uses java.

[sbrown123]

Actually Java does not use signed types due to cross platform compatibility. C and many other languages have issues in that integal variables change size based on platform.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

Why would you need a unsigned data type? If the value is too large for the current data type: use one larger. Are you running on a Commodore 64 and worried about the extra 4 bytes?

You mean, move it a larger data type and mask it off. What a pain in the ass, not to mention the performance hit. The question is, why should I have to? And yes, sometimes 4 bytes matters when you have very large arrays.

I actually addressed this the other day, but once again, the obvious case where you need it is in comparing two 32 bits Unix epoch-style dates.

Yes, you can code around the lack of unsigned types. But it's a pain and there's just no excuse for leaving something that critical out of the language, assuming you want to use Java for anything even halfway complex or low level.

Re:Who uses java.

[nakaduct]

on a project with 150,000 lines of code, I pray to god it's not Perl.

Understandable, since that much Perl would probably be sentient.

I think of "150000 lines of Perl" the same way I'd think of 100 million lines of C -- it's conceivable that much could exist, but I can imagine no problem whose solution demands so much complexity.

cheers,
mike

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

IP addresses consist of four numbers not exceeding 255.

Not true. That's just a convention on how their written. The individual bytes of an IP address have absolutely no intrinsic meaning, although certain fields of bits have meaning depending on whether it's a class A, B or C. An IP address is 32 bits. And incidently, any arbitrary part of those bits can be masked for a subnet; the bits don't even have to be contiguous (well, to be pedantic, any arbitrary part with certain restrictions).

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

Well, first let me say that my crack smoking affected my brain. The time_t type under Unix is a signed type. That said...

Unix data types change size due to platform. So a program you write to compare to 32-bit dates would not work in the future on 64 bit systems as they will use a datatype, called the same, but at a different integal type.

True, but irrelevent. If you are reading a 32 bit unsigned value from a file, it is what it is, 32 bits. If in C I assign that to an "unsigned long", I know I am safe no matter the word size, since C guarantees me that a long is at least 32 bits.

No, just use a larger data type. There is no need for masking in Java as conversion between datatypes is pretty seamless like C.

Nope. If you assign a 32 bit unsigned value that happens to have the high bit set to a 64 bit signed value, it will sign extend the value. You have to mask it off to be safe.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

I made no point about needing unsigned data types for IP addresses, only that your understanding of the structure of IP addresses is wrong.

Of course, one could argue it's pretty lame to be required to store an unsigned value in a signed variable and just "pretend" it's unsigned.

Re:Who uses java.

[ncc74656]

Why would you need a unsigned data type? If the value is too large for the current data type: use one larger.

So when you're working with bitmapped image data, you're supposed to just double the memory usage for each component because you have to use short instead of unsigned char? That's smart. (int won't work if you're dealing with 8-bit or packed 24-bit images. It's barely usable for 24-bit images that use 32 bits per pixel...simple pixel moves go faster, but working on subpixel components slows down when you have to mask out the stuff you don't want to change.)

Are you running on a Commodore 64 and worried about the extra 4 bytes?

It's that attitude that's responsible for monstrosities such as Windows XP. Back in the day, bumming your code to use less system resources (whether space or time) was usually regarded as a Good Thing. I thought it still was.

Re:Who uses java.

[coolgeek]

>> Overloading is a construction of lazy programmers who did not completely plan out what variables will be passed. Laziness and poor programming lead to bad software.

Dude, he said overloading "operators". This means making the compiler call your function for operators like + - == etc. Not overloading function definitions. And in the case of overloading function definitions, why not? Constructors can be very handy when overloaded. And in other cases, the "sloppiness" you allude to is sometimes adapting the code to provide new functionality without tampering with what is in place and Q/A'd already. The old "it works don't fix it" principle. Solving this type of problem was one of the very motivations the prompted Bjarne Stroustrup to write the C++ pre-processor in the first place.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

You are most likely thinking IPs are 32 bits rather than the sum of four bytes with each byte representing an address class of A,B,C, and D.

Sorry, you are wrong. The address classes happen to mask to single bytes, but the subnet masking does not.

The problem occurs in that if they ever run out of addresses and make more, they would add another byte.

What?? What part of your anatomy did you pull that out of? IPv4 is, by definition and unchanging, 32 bits. The next version of TCP/IP is IPv6, which uses 128 bit addresses. Of course, at that point we no longer store IP addresses in a scalar variable and routing will most likely be done in different ways.

Let me know if you have ever heard of a 36-bit datatype in C/C++ or any other language. Im curious.

As a matter of fact, many DEC and IBM computers used 36 bit words. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, the very first version of Unix on the PDP/11 had 36 bit longs. But if you're trying to make some sarcastic point, probably a 40 bit datatype would have worked better (8 * 5 = 40 bits).

Re:Who uses java.

[Wavicle]

for simple things like, oh, I dunno.. ip addresses, or anything with a database, etc..

Why would IP addresses be a problem if stored in a signed 32 bit integer instead of unsigned? All you are really using the int for is a place to store bits. What would a database be doing that would make this a problem? (Java is a well established technology for enterprise, it's rare to see Java not used with a Database)

Because Java doesn't have signed data types (except char) doesn't mean you can't store a 32 bit unsigned value in a 32 bit signed integer.

Re:Who uses java.

[Wavicle]

What are you doing that is going to require you to double your storage requirements for your bitmap? Not having an unsigned datatype shouldn't do that.

And back in the day bumming your code to use less system resources was a requirement. I love these days, I don't want to go back. Several projects I have worked on would have shipped months earlier if we weren't so concerned with figuring out how to make it fit in 640K or 4MB or run on a 386sx33.

Re:Who uses java.

[Wavicle]

(try converting a string to an int or vice-versa)

Ummm...
String s = "45";
int i = Integer.parseInt(s);
System.out.println("" + i);


From string to integer and back again. What was the hard part again?

And in case you're wondering,

cout << "hello";

Is not readable. "<<" is the shift operator. Operator overloading in C++ means "operators don't mean a thing, you have no gaurantees".

Further, Java is the fastest growing, probably widest deployed enterprise platform around. That means a lot of people not in academia.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

But if you are expecting to read in, say a unsigned int from a fopen, what size is the uint datatype on the different platforms running Unix?

It doesn't matter. If I read in 32 bits, the holder variables just needs to be at least 32 bits. Where you get into trouble is reading an unsigned number and assigning it to a signed variable longer than 32 bits.

Not true. What is the word datatype size on a Palm or that on a Mainframe?

Sheesh, man, please go read the C standard before spouting BS. A long variable is at least 32 bits (actually, they specify a range of values). A short is at least 16 bits. A char is at least 8 bits.

What? There is no unsigned values in Java, so according to your own words masking is STILL not needed.

No. Read what I wrote. Better yet, try an experiment. Assign a long variable (32 bit) to 4,000,000,000. Assign that to a 64 bit variable. Watch it get butchered into a negative value, because Java treats it as a signed value, which is then signed extended.

If you want to "pretend" a 32 bit value is unsigned and assigned it to a 64 bit value, you have to do "a64 = b32 & 0xffffffff".

Re:Who uses java.

[ncc74656]

What are you doing that is going to require you to double your storage requirements for your bitmap? Not having an unsigned datatype shouldn't do that.

If you need to store values that range from 0 to 255, a type that only runs from -128 to 127 won't work so well. (You could adjust the values (add 128 on load, subtract 128 on store) when you need to do some calculations on the image data, but now you've just added to the number of calculations your program will need to do.)

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

Now ask yourself this: why define these if they are standard? Could it be, maybe, someone decided that they could be variable depending on the platform you are using? This would explain why a C integer's on a MIPS processor are smaller than those on a i386 processor?

What part of "at least" don't you understand? Standard C guarantees that a byte is at least 8 bits, a short is at least 16 bits, and a long is at least 32 bits. If you don't believe me, please go read the C standard or post a reference. I am right, you are wrong about this.

This is nice for C making small footprints but bad for crossplatform capability.

No, this is nice for performance. It makes it more difficult to achieve cross-platform compatibility, but it's defined that way specifically for cross-platform compatibility. I can write programs in C that are completely portable, yet are still efficient across a large majority of platforms.

It's not even that difficult; it mostly takes experience to know how to do things so that they'll be portable.

Okay, take a 32 bit signed variable in C and go past its maximum range. You will get a negative number. Wow, it works just like Java! Go past the bounds on an unsigned integer and what do your get? A mess.

The point is that I did NOT go past the limits of an unsigned 32 bit variable. I think you don't understand what sign extension means. What that means is that assigning a 32 bit integer of, say, 0xffffffff to a 64 bit integer will get you 0xffffffffffffffff instead of 0x00000000ffffffff. That's why you have to mask it off if you want to simulate unsigned variables.

If you dont want it to become a negative number, use a larger datatype.

Which is why Java is brain damaged as a general purpose language. Yes, you can kludge around the lack of unsigned data types, but I shouldn't have to do very slow 64 bit arithmetic just to be able to deal with a 32 bit unsigned value.

Re:Who uses java.

[Reality Master 101]

These are my last posts in this thread. I grow weary of debating this. I'm not even sure why I'm bothering.

No you werent right.

Sorry, but you are totally wrong. Unfortunately, I can't find my copy of the C standard to quote directly from it. However, at this link, I quote:

Minimum Type Limits

Any compiler conforming to the Standard must also respect the following limits with respect to the range of values any particular type may accept. Note that these are lower limits: an implementation is free to exceed any or all of these. Note also that the minimum range for a char is dependent on whether or not a char is considered to be signed or unsigned.

Type Minimum Range
signed char -127 to +127
unsigned char 0 to 255
short int -32767 to +32767
unsigned short int 0 to 65535
int -32767 to +32767
unsigned int 0 to 65535
long int -2147483647 to +2147483647
unsigned long int 0 to 4294967295
Type Minimum Precision
float 6 digits
double 10 digits
long double 10 digits

The Standard also specifies that these limits should be present as preprocessor macros in the header file .id .

And by the way, C++ has the same limits. I quote from Bjarne Stroustrap, The C++ Programming Langauge, Second Edition, Page 50: "In addition, it is guaranteed that a char has at least 8 bits, a short at least 16 bits, and a long at least 32 bits".

There, is that good enough for you?

Dont use 64 bit arithmetic. Use bitwise operators. Thats pretty simple.

It's pretty hard to do a compare operation with bitwise operators. And even if one could, I shouldn't have to.

Re:Who uses java.

[Wavicle]

If you need to store values that range from 0 to 255, a type that only runs from -128 to 127 won't work so well.

It will work just fine. The most you should have to do is a little casting and "& 0xFF" to compensate for type promotion.

Re:Who uses java.

[ncc74656]

If you need to store values that range from 0 to 255, a type that only runs from -128 to 127 won't work so well.

It will work just fine. The most you should have to do is a little casting and "& 0xFF" to compensate for type promotion.

You just made my point again...additional work is needed to kludge a (signed) char to behave like an unsigned char. If your language had an unsigned type to begin with, you wouldn't need to do that. Your software would be smaller, faster, and more readable.

Re:Who uses java.

[Wavicle]

If you're really that concerned you could leave off the &0xFF. As long as you aren't doing division or comparison it will be fine.

In RGB/BGR space you usually promote the individual elements to a wider type before working on them anyway. For example, if you're brightening an image, you can't keep the data in a byte because the byte will roll over if you overexpose the element.

(-1) Troll

[Dr Caleb]

I mean, who uses java anyway?

It's true! The editors are trolling us now!

Revenge?

[twoflower]

Is this Hemos' revenge on Taco?

ODP has a funny April Fool(unlike this slash crap)

[Commienst]

The ODP has a link to the following article displayed prominently on their front page:

MSN Delivers Another Brick in "the Wall"

The Gates Open Directory Now Offers a Simpler More Unified Copyright Ownership Model.

REDMOND, Wash. -- April 1, 2002 -- The MSN® network of Internet services, with more than 270 billion unique reboots worldwide, today announced the addition of the Gates Open Directory (GOD), formerly known as the Open Directory Project. The Gates Open Directory is part of Microsoft's vision to simplify copyright on the Internet by buying all copyrighted material. Once this goal is achieved Microsoft will be the single clearinghouse for all intellectual property, in effect streamlining the current legal bureaucracy surrounding patent and copyright suits by eliminating the need for costly lawsuits. If someone thinks they own intellectual property, they can submit it directly to Microsoft via the Web at http://www.msn.com/ or at any one of the MSN worldwide sites located at http://www.msn.com/worldwide.ashx.

Rich Skrenta, co-founder of the Open Directory Project, believes that "the Gates Open Directory was inevitable, so why fight it?" Bill Gates, future owner of all things ownable, concurs: "Resistance is futile."

The current staff of Open Directory Project is being replaced by an Artificial Intelligence developed at the Microsoft Research Lab. The A.I. was build on top of the original Microsoft Windows digital assistant "Clippy." Users of the Gates Open Directory interact directly with Clippy, who interprets the requests and carries out the user's wishes.

Researchers believe that once the Gates Open Directory had been fully integrated into Clippy, it will become sentient. This project has been named codenamed "Sky," as in "the sky is the limit." Engineers are currently working on integrating project Sky with the latest Common Language Infrastructure and .Net. The combined project Sky.Net should be fully operational by the end of the year.

Open Directory Employee, Bob Keating, will continue his service to the Directory by maintaining the mechanical relays and polishing the optical fiber that makes up the colossus that powers Clippy.

Editors and contributors to the Directory are asked to stay calm and not to struggle. Clippy will find them and assimilate them.

MSN causes more than 270 billion unique computer reboots worldwide per month. Available in 34 markets and 18 languages, MSN is a world leader in delivering Web services to consumers and digital marketing solutions to businesses worldwide. The most useful and innovative online service today, MSN brings consumers everything they need from the Web to make the most of their time online.

About Microsoft

Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in software, services and Internet technologies for personal and business computing. The company offers a wide range of products and services designed to empower people and llamas through great software -- inflatable or otherwise.

Microsoft and MSN are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corp. in the United States and/or other countries.

The names of actual companies and products mentioned herein may not yet be owned by Microsoft.

Note to editors: If you are interested in viewing additional information on Microsoft, please visit the Microsoft Web page at http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/ on Microsoft's corporate information pages. Web links, telephone numbers and titles were correct at time of publication, but are competely different now since we changed our minds. We cheat at Battleship too.

Moderation on Slashdot Stories

[wikki]

It really sucks that we can't moderate the slashdot stories down. Doesn't anyone besides me do real work on April 1?

Atleast there are no more stupid pigeon stories

Re:Moderation on Slashdot Stories

[gamgee5273]

Ummmm

(looks around)

Nope.

Re:Moderation on Slashdot Stories

[caferace]

Doesn't anyone besides me do real work on April 1?

Seeing has how your "real work" appears to be bitching about the AFD stories on Slashdot, it appears you're in good company. Perhaps you should throw a party for all your new-found friends?

Record year for April fools jokes?

[Vicegrip]

It's pretty funny stuff, but there sure does seem to be a whole ton of nicely baited hooks floating around in cyberspace this April.
I'm still waiting for the full Bill Gates confessional about his secret love affair with Larry Ellison.

Re:Record year for April fools jokes?

[Waffle Iron]

I think that next year, the best April Fool's joke would be to not post any fake stories. Having everybody reading between the lines trying to find the nonexistant jokes would be funnier than most of these stories.

Where's the preference for...

[gergi]

turning off editor trolls and April Fools stories?
if you programming for a living Taco, you'd never compare Java to Perl. apples and oranges.
and please, can we get back to real news? this is lame

Re:Where's the preference for...

[mark_lybarger]

come back tomorrow.

Re:Where's the preference for...

[jgerman]

Actually I do code for a living, and you do compare Java to Perl, how the hell else are you supposed to pick the right tool for the job ;)

This reminds me of a sketch on The State...

[Dephex Twin]

...where they teach the audience that "anything that's not true is funny and anything that is true isn't funny."

Man 1: "Ask me what I had for breakfast today."

Man 2: "What did you have for breakfast today?"

Man 1: "Waffles."

Man 2: (pauses for a moment, then laughs)

Man 1: "See? Now that's funny. I didn't have waffles today, I had eggs. Ask me again what I had for breakfast today."

Man 2: "What did you have for breakfast today?"

Man 1: "Eggs."

Man 2: (blank stare)

Man 1: "You see? I did have eggs for breakfast, hence saying I had eggs wasn't funny."

etc.

Yes, yes, these April Fool's articles aren't true, but that's not what makes fake articles funny... it's being fooled!

mark

Re:This reminds me of a sketch on The State...

[DebtAngel]

None of these are believable enough for the populace to be fooled.

Except for, funnily enough, this one. The part in italics, anyway. I can believe a story about CPAN adding Java snippets to its library of code. I can even believe CPAN adding Java snippets in a really big way.

Then the editor went and added a cheap troll, thereby ruining the illusion of believability. Speaking of which, the new Flair-run RAW show is premiering this Monday, 9:00 on the New TNN.</ad>

Hey, whe added the new Slashvertisement Comment code to the CVS? *mutters*

Re:This reminds me of a sketch on The State...

[Dephex Twin]

None of these are believable enough for the populace to be fooled.

I know, that was my point. The sketch was being ironic. Just because it's not true doesn't mean it's funny! The idea behind April Fool's is tricking people, not saying extremely untrue things.

mark

Librarian...

[ackthpt]

From the page:

Yours Eclectically, The Self-Appointed Master Librarian (OOK!) of the CJAN Jarkko Hietaniemi

Care to guess what author he reads? :-)

Re:Librarian...

[jgerman]

Just don't call him a monkey.

Sun Must Be Stopped

[Zuna]

Java really does suck. Just look at this latest press release...

Mountain View, CA -- Sun Microsystems today filed a trademark infringement
against the island of Java* over the use of Sun's Java* trademark.

Responding to criticism that the island has been called Java* for
centuries, Sun lawyer Frank Cheatham said "Yeah, and in all that time they
never filed for a trademark. They deserve to lose the name."

Rather than pay the licensing fee, the island decided to change its name.
They originally voted to change it to Visu Albasic, but an angry telegram
from Redmond, Washington convinced them otherwise. The country finally
settled on a symbol for a name -- a neatly-colored coffee cup which still
evokes the idea of java. Since most newspapers and magazines will not be
able to print the name of the island, it will hereafter be referred to in
print as "The Island Formerly Known As Java*".

The Island Formerly Known As Java* bills itself as a cross-landmass island,
but so far has only been implemented in production on the Malay
Archipelago. Africa is been rumored to have implemented it on Madagascar,
but it is still in alpha testing.

Lawyers from Sun would also like to locate the owners of the huge fiery
ball at the center of the solar system. They have some legal papers for
them...

*Java is a Trademark of Sun Microsystems, Inc. Anyone caught using the
trademark without permission will be beaten, flogged, sued, and forced to
use Microsoft products.

(Taken from an old Usenet post.)

Re:Sun Must Be Stopped

[Bodrius]

Now, if that had been posted as an April's Fool story instead of a comment to a very lame one, I might at least have found a point for the whole April 1st on Slashdot idea this week.

Aaaaarrrrrrgggghhh!

[Bruce Perens]

Enough already!

Great, but does anyone in Congress really know

[hrieke]

How to program in the first place?
I really can't imagine Senator Byrd (D-WV) and Senator Alan Simpson (R-WY) going at it over algorithms and what has better garbage collection utilities, C# or Java.
My god, talk about gridlock...

Heart Attack No April Fool's Joke

[totallygeek]

No more CPAN? Okay, my heart attack was not going to be an April Fool's joke!

In other news today...

[southpolesammy]

Slashdot, a usually vibrant hotspot on the Internet for technical discussions, imploded due to the complete lack of content on Monday. Witnesses described a loud, sucking noise emanating from the once-intelligent gathering spot, stating that "once the pigeons flew overhead, we knew it was all over".

Slashdot founder Rob Malda was unavailable for comment....

In A Shocking Move, Slashdot Concedes

[unformed]

In a shocking move, the Slashdot network has finally conceded and have given in to com pla ints about the lack of quality programming.

In the words of the leader Commander Taco, "I apologize for the brutality we have caused our fellow users to suffer. However, in all honesty, contrary to popular opinion it was CowboyNeal's fault. Let me explain. Initially our advertisers' wanted us to run advertisements as stories.

However, we felt that doing so would greatly reduce what little credibility we had as a tech rumor site. Additionally, due to CowboyNeal spending the entire OSDN budget on crack, we had to quickly raise money somehow someway. We decided to hook up with DoubleClick and let them monitor our traffic and generate random logs for their own use. However, we knew that if we let it happen for too long, people would find out, and we would lose what little respectability we had left. So we needed to get many hits quick.

I, Commander Taco, the great Commander of Burritos and Such, decided to take it upon myself, to create mind-numbing, electrifying stories which would result in an amazing number of page hits. Unfortunately, a few users have caught on. Since I did not preplan enough to put the ROT-13 my ideas and DMCA-it, I have no recourse but to let them notify all of our users, and hence be forced to concede. The other members of Slashdot are too coked out right now (hence our budget), so I'm alone here. However, I plan on leaving very soon, and disappearing into the depths of Amazon, because from what I have heard in unexplained rumors, is that Bubba is after me for rootkitting his Debian box. Regardless, I am on my out.

Good day, folks, and god speed.

In other news,

[Bender Unit 22]

In other news, Sun Microsystems shifts focus to .net instead. Get the full article here.

"We know a better system when we see it", says Ed Zander, President and Chief Operating Officer, Sun Microsystems, Inc.
"To be honest, we don't quite see a future without a proper .net strategy. The development tools alone with all their templates and wizards just make it too good for us to ignore. It also allows us to collect more data from the applications developed everywhere on the net. Thanks to the agreement you agree to when installing the package, we can collect pretty much any piece of information from every system."

But is that not too intrusive?
"No I don't think so, think about it. With that kind of feedback the installed base of .net applications becomes in reality a huge testing facility where we can ship, near ready, products too. The data collected enables us to weed out the bugs and security issues quickly and we can release patches on a cheap subscription basis"

And it continues..
Well I for one, is surpriced to say the least. What will be next, dumping Solaris?

A REAL, TRUE story - M$ anti-unix site runs BSD

[YouAreFatMan]

THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS

news.com article

http://www.wehavethewayout.com/

Netcraft results for site
The site www.wehavethewayout.com is running Rapidsite/Apa-1.3.14 (Unix) FrontPage/4.0.4.3 mod_ssl/2.7.1 OpenSSL/0.9.5a on FreeBSD.

Re:A REAL, TRUE story - M$ anti-unix site runs BSD

[Bender Unit 22]

Hey that guy is right, ROFL..
Netcraft says
The site www.wehavethewayout.com is running Rapidsite/Apa-1.3.14 (Unix) FrontPage/4.0.4.3 mod_ssl/2.7.1 OpenSSL/0.9.5a on FreeBSD.

Karma death

[$carab]

(I would've posted this anonymously, but it had to be said)
In other news, Microsoft has decided to begin an archive of all their software as part of their new .NYET program. Users will pay a regular fee for the service. Called CMAN-The Comprehensive Microsoft Archive Network, the service is expected to be quite a boon to the recently downtrodden company.

Buisnesses reacted happily to the news. "We're ecstatic" an anonymous buiness person said, "Microsoft kept giving us shit, but now we've got CMAN!".

The Linux community seemed confused at the news. Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda declared "CMAN? I've been enjoying CMAN for years! Microsoft can't just go and copyright it! This offends my nerdish sensibilities! I want my CMAN!" Malda later said that if the CMAN network was as good as the hype, he would switch to an all-Microsoft platform. "If this CMAN is really high-grade, enterprise level stuff, then I think I'll switch to a Microsoft platform."

Microsoft stock was up sharply on the news. An anonymous trader said "It was like the NASDAQ floor was covered in CMAN! Microsoft rocks my world!".

Not entirely an AF joke. CJAN is *real*.

[yerricde]

This story is fake, but it did inspire me to do a Google search, which turned up CJAN: Comprehensive Java Archive Network. It's not up yet (the front page is just a blog), but it's coming. Seriously.

The (Hopefully) Great April Fools Blackout

[pbryan]

For the record, my feelings on the Slashdot April Fools Embroglio rests firmly in the uninterested. I have almost zero opinion on the final outcome of April Fools postings. I love Slashdot, and will probably subscribe at some point to support the site, but April Fools jokes are dull (to me).

This easy dismissal of the value of the only providers of interesting and insightful content on Slashdot is offensive. Thus, I propose a small revolt. The (Hopefully) Great April Fools Blackout.

T(H)GAFB will be during April 1 through April 1. Easy to remember, a shitload of useless articles will be posted. During that time, I will not be enjoying posting, or reading comments from the home page.

During that day, I'd like to see if Slashdot becomes a better place, or if it becomes the Hallowed Shrine of Troll.

This is where the (Hopefully) comes in. This is only meaningful if enough agree to go along and participate. If there is only me and a handful of others who cease enjoying Slashdot during that week, it will be pretty meaningless.

And I was excited

[DeadSea]

CPAN has done wonders for perl modules. Its easy to install them and all the CPAN modules I've used have good documentation, very nice dependency checking, and regression tests. Until I realized that it was a joke, I was thinking that the CPAN folks would be able to do some great work with Java libraries.

Java has a better library structure than perl, with each package being in a well defined place in the classpath. Also documentation for Java libraries tends to be better because of the javadoc comments that everybody writes. Regression tests and dependency checking for java libraries would be cool.

Luckily, there are great places to turn for java libraries even without CPAN supporting them. The Apache Project has many classes that I consider essential now. The Giant Java Tree has thousands of open source libraries. Not to mention the stuff I've written.

Re:And I was excited

[Cally]

Java has a better library structure than perl, with each package being in a well defined place in the classpath.

Fiddlesticks! Perl's namespace is far more flexible than the clumsy, bloated directory hierarchy used in Java. I just wrote my first CPAN module (not QA'd yet, no install scripts etc, so it's not uploaded yet) and it'll be something like called Net::Bookmark.pm. If it was java it would be "comp.string.app.multi.browser.plugins.bookmarks.m ung.utils" or something equally atrocious. Java is good news for makers of ergonomics keyboards, bad news for those of us nursing incipient RSI! :)

If JAVA had proper garbage collection...

[Jucius Maximus]

...most programs would self delete upon execution.

Re:A REAL, TRUE story - Linux64.com runs W2k/IIS

[Drestin]

http://uptime.netcraft.com/up/graph/?host=www.linu x64.com

bummer eh?

Re:CrapDot

[killmenow]

How is my post flamebait? Redundant I can see, but flamebait?!

Are moderators too obtuse or am I too ambiguous?

Let me elaborate so we all understand:

• I think /. has pretty much been CrapDot today.
• I think the post with the idea to name it CrapDot was interesting, insightful, and informative
• I knew people would mod it as funny
• I don't think it's meant to be funny
• April Fool's Day jokes are supposed to be funny
• No AFJ on /. today has been funny IMO
• The word "This" is too vague for moderators to know what it refers to
• I have karma to burn

This is flamebait: Bite me...

CPAN? D'oh.

[Roosey]

I thought that said C-SPAN was shifting its focus. I would've known that was an April Fools joke then - they wouldn't be caught dead broadcasting anything interesting. :]

"Up next, Senate Boxing! Watch as 99 year old Senator Strom Thurmond takes on 86 year old Robert Byrd! Who'll be the first to drop?"

Re:CrapDot

[kevin lyda]

"pursists?"

what, are you angling for an editorial position on slashdot?

About April fool's day and complaints on Slashdot.

[JFMulder]

You guys must have really nothing to do on April fool's day if the only thing you have to do is come to slashdot and bitch and moan about the April Fool's joke CmdrTaco is running. If you don't like them, stop coming to Slashdot today. Come back tomorrow. Nobody will miss you I'm sure. As for the moderators who spend times modding down pro-april-foolscomments and modding up anti-april-fools commentes, get a f**king life. I unchecked the "Willing to Moderate" because moderators like you rated waste mod points on stupid posts and keep modding up crap. What's the point of modding up somthing to +5 insightfull if some other idiot mods up a fart joke +5 funny?

Curious...

[Lethyos]

We all know that on a regular basis, the editors here at Slashdot reject very good stories in favor of, well, not so good stories (OKay, many are just plain stupid).

To add insult to injury, how many people here have submitted very intelligent, meaningful, and possibly important stories... only to have them rejected in favor of these stupid April Fools jokes. Slashdot is often referred to by many of us an intelligent and useful news source to "open source initiates" or other professionals.

Today however, like every other year, it descends into silliness. All useful content has been eliminated. Every story is an April Fools "joke" and thus, it's completely pointless because it's funny when you're tricked.

Editors, stop displacing useful content for this nonsense, please? I am sure there's lots of real stuff out there today amongst the cruft. Of course, this request will be ignored because the editors are so damn full of themselves.

I suggest everyone who got a story rejected post it as a reply to this post. Maybe we can actually get some stuff that matters.

Re:Anyone?

[DA_MAN_DA_MYTH]

I don't remember ever getting anything useful done while reading Slashdot...

Perl Users All Thank Sun For Their Support

[twoshortplanks]

In real non april 1st way, the Perl Peeps are all really grateful for Sun's support of Perl.

Recently Sun donated some new hardware to make search.cpan.org work a lot faster. This was covered on use Perl.

Thanks Sun!

Microsoft does

[macdaddy]

It's true! Didn't you know? Microsoft is making their next version of Windows on Sun's Java. Microsoft Windows J

I like it

[geekoid]

Seriously, one day a year where most everyone in the industry turns there creativity to something funny, a gag, a good gotcha.
BTT /. may not be the best place to get got, but I like to read about all the other attempts other people are trying.
Some people take this site way to seriously. If you can't gat anywork done without /. for one day you are either: paid to work on /. or in need of a carrer change.
I can't imagine someone who needs to read every story on /. for a living.(obvious editor joke left out)
Don't like Apreil Foools? fine, see you tomorrow.

man, I am too gullible

[eclectric]

It took me nearly 30 seconds to figure out this one was a joke. After every other story today was a joke too... well, at least the slashdot crowd hasn't actually pulled one on us... they've just been reporting other april fool's jokes. A slashdot-centred joke would be: windows.slashdot.org.

Re:You can fry an egg on my head right now...

[MrGordy]

Actually, I'm not convinced you were really trolled. The key to effective trolling is to not admit it. Therefore, we can assume, at least at conception, he was not trolling.

Oh, and Java Sucks... [Of course, now we both have to decide if I'm trolling or not. By not replying (the only effective method of dealing with trolls), we can both assert that this is a troll].

CJAN

[guttentag]

CJAN.
CJAN run.
CJAN code.
CJAN run her code.
CJAN screw the Perl community.
CJAN type "APRIL FOOLS!"
CJAN laugh her butt off and disappear.

Hosted?

[Kefabi]

I checked the webpage, it said it's hosted by FUNET. Is that Fun Net or Fuck You Net?

-Josh

Re:About April fool's day and complaints on Slashd

[killmenow]

What's the point of modding up somthing to +5 insightfull if some other idiot mods up a fart joke +5 funny?

But fart jokes are funny...

Thankfully...

[killmenow]

...I'm not paying to read these stories...

Re: goatse.cx

[killmenow]

Now that would be funny. I think that's the best thing I've read on /. all day...

thanks

Speaking of SUNW practical jokes...

[cjsnell]

Check this out. What makes it really funny is that I think they are being serious about this. This is from the company that, only a year ago, "put the dot in dot com".

Oh the times, they are a'changing. :)

OH MY GOD

[sinserve]

That was a troll fp, moded to +2 insightful?

Moderators DO have a sense of humor.

Props to all the fine trolls, and the not so fine ones.

The joke would have been better

[Kymermosst]

if they'd planned it further so that the links didn't take you to the regular CPAN pages, but to more fakes.

They could have had the "DISCLAIMER" link go to the original site. :)

greatest of all languages?

[JamesOfTheDesert]

But at the expense of the greatest of all languages?

What has this to do with Ruby?

Java has an unsigned integer type

[harmonica]

People who don't need an unsigned data type.

Actually, Java's primitive type char is an unsigned 16 bit integer type. It can store integers between 0 and 65535.