Linus Retiring from Kernel Dev

looflirpa writes "Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now, and is searching for a new leader for the linux kernel development. Certainly a shame, but everybody knew that this had to happen, sooner or later" This also is your chance to voice who should take the reins from the kernel's originator.

Comments

420 p0st[fp]

[Fecal Troll Matter]

smoke a spliff, you ingrates.

Actually funny

[the_rev_matt]

This is the first April Fools story I've seen so far that was actually funny.

I should've stayed offline today.

Re:Actually funny

[Anonymous DWord]

Happy birthday, you ugly bastard!
Here's your cake (37 candles didn't fit):

_i_i_i_i_i_
|________|
|________|


And here's a present for you. I'm not very good at wrapping things though, so it looks kinda silly.
__+__
/____/|
|____|/

who to take over?

[p4r4d0x]

why, cowboyneal. duh.

Re:who to take over?

[uberjon]

Personally I'd like to see Bill Gates take over kernel devel.

Re:who to take over?

[G-funk]

Richard M. Stallman: RMS has an exceptional track record in the .... I fully endorse him as a
candidate, assuming he's willing to drop his puerile "GNU/Linux"
ego stroking.

Translation: I don't want that nutjob running shit.

Yeah!

[wrinkledshirt]

This is my kind of April Fool's joke.

At first you laugh.

Then you crap your pants.

I know how to solve the dilemma

[Em Emalb]

get them all on weakest link and let them have a go at each other....

"Why did you vote for RMS?"

"He smells bad."

thanks for shopping....Oh look, a big shiny thing!

Richard stallman would be perfect

[HanzoSan]

Who better to lead linux development than the creator of GNU? GNU/Linux should be lead by richard stallman.

Re:Richard stallman would be perfect

[Glytch]

Yeah! After all, look how stable and powerful the HURD kernel is.

That's OK

[PD]

Linus hasn't done a damn thing in years anyway. The real person behind the kernel is actually Linux Thorvald. That's why something like the VM fiasco happened. Linus wouldn't have done something stupid like that, but Linux Thorvald does a hundred things dumber than that before he eats breakfast. And, rumor has it that he's also dating Natalee Portam on the side.

Orville Redenbacher

[drew_kime]

That guy has developed some kick-ass kernels.

Re:Orville Redenbacher

[vanguard]

I suspect it won't slow down the rate at which patches are accepted.

Bill Gates, duhhh

[eander315]

I just saw an article on CNET that said a mass email went out today to all Microsoft employees and MCSEs indicating that they *will* vote for Bill Gates, or their jobs/certs will be disposed of. That's a lot of votes; I think he'll win.

He's changed his mind already...

[Saint Aardvark]

Linus is going to rewrite the kernel in Visual Basic.

That's it, goddammit, I'm switching to FreeBSD. Linux and Linus are just too damned disorganized.

Re:first post

[An Onerous Coward]

Note to self: Don't metamod for at least a couple of weeks.

Re:Argh. Quality not Quantity

[manyoso]

But that is what they've done! By crying wolf so many times today, you haven't noticed that _one_ of the stories today actually is _true_! My guess, is the Slashdot infotisement article. Happy April Fools!

Upcoming kernel re-write

[Draoi]

... and it doesn't end there! Check out this posting by linus;

Hi folks, I have been dealing with maintaining Linux in a mixture of C and Assembler for over twelve years now. While it has been a lot of fun, every day dealing with these essentially dead languages has become harder and harder for me, and other programers seem to agree.

Thus, starting with Linux 3.0 (to be released hopefully by next summer), the kernel will be completely rewritten in the easy-to-use Visual Basic language. This will eliminate all issues involving buffer overruns, as well as streamlining porting of Windows programs to Linux, since Microsoft (who will now assume ownership of Linux) assure me that Windows is written entirely in VB as well.

Microsoft has also stated that they intend to incorporate Windows features, such as the RRS (Rapid Random Shutdown) in Windows 95, into Linux 3.0.

Linus

Yee-harr! Can't wait ...

In other news today...

[Zen Mastuh]

• Novelist Steven King, 55, was found dead in his Maine home today. Even if you aren't familiar with his work, you will understand his importance. Truly an American icon.
• Slashdot has announced the debut of its newest blog, goatse.cx. Slashdot founder Rob "Commander Taco" Malda predicted that goatse.cx aficionados would soon start advertising the site by hiding links in comments attached to articles on slashdot. "Oh, I've been hyping it up myself through my troll accounts", the red-eyed Taco added.
• Actor Alan Thicke was also found dead today in his home, causing millions of slashdot readers to break into tearful renditions of "Show me that smile again...".
• This early post is for Ida!
• Slashdot founder Malda announced today that "All your april fool are belong to us!". A flurry of posters rushed to correct his rare misuse of the English language; the increase in network traffic appeared similar to a DDOS attack. The service was interrupted to fend off the apparent attack and will be restored later.

THIS is funny.

[famazza]

This post is much more funny than the first one!

• Upcoming rewrite of kernel

*sigh*

[ebbomega]

"All your april fool are belong to us!"

All your funny are belong to a year ago!
Someone set up us the dead horse!
You have no chance to be funny make your time!