Linus Retiring from Kernel Dev

looflirpa writes "Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now, and is searching for a new leader for the linux kernel development. Certainly a shame, but everybody knew that this had to happen, sooner or later" This also is your chance to voice who should take the reins from the kernel's originator.

Comments

420 p0st[fp]

[Fecal Troll Matter]

smoke a spliff, you ingrates.

Re:420 p0st[fp]

[Bender Unit 22]

IMHO, on April Fools Day, where you can't post anonymous, should be the one day where you can get Score:5, Insightful for at first posting.

first post

[MrCawfee]

first post

Re:first post

[Aanallein]

And a big "thumbs up" to everyone who modded this up! A perfect response on this day. :)

I shudder to think what would happen if today would see real news akin to this...

Re:first post

[maelstrom]

wish i had some hot grits to pour down my pants, while i look at natalie portman petrified on my beowulf cluster :(

Re:first post

[bbh]

Ok, this first post modded to 5 is the funniest thing I've seen this April Fools Day. I truly laughed my ass off when I saw that.

bbh

Re:first post

[arnoroefs2000]

LOL, I love you moderators :)

Glad I live in Europe, 25mins to go till april 2nd....

Re:first post

[An Onerous Coward]

Note to self: Don't metamod for at least a couple of weeks.

Re:first post

[John_Booty]

I know! I was just bitching about how unfunny Slashdot is on every April Fools' day, but then I saw the "First Post (Score: 5; Insightful)" and cracked up. Soon the whole office was laughing... well, the programmers, anyway. :)

Re:first post

[maelstrom]

yer mom

Re:first post

[xanadu-xtroot.com]

BWAHAHAHA!!!

Mod this up!!!

Actually funny

[the_rev_matt]

This is the first April Fools story I've seen so far that was actually funny.

I should've stayed offline today.

Re:Actually funny

[optikSmoke]

I agree
You know it's April Fools when:
90%+ of the Slashdot stories are posted by CmdrTaco, who doesn't know when to shut up.
Maybe he doesn't realize why the other editors aren't getting in on his l337 fooling action.

Sometimes it seems like this site is run by a two-year-old with a lollipop.

Not that I have any right to complain, as I am not a subscriber :)

Re:Actually funny

[Anonymous DWord]

Happy birthday, you ugly bastard!
Here's your cake (37 candles didn't fit):

_i_i_i_i_i_
|________|
|________|


And here's a present for you. I'm not very good at wrapping things though, so it looks kinda silly.
__+__
/____/|
|____|/

who to take over?

[p4r4d0x]

why, cowboyneal. duh.

Re:who to take over?

[uberjon]

Personally I'd like to see Bill Gates take over kernel devel.

Re:who to take over?

[G-funk]

Richard M. Stallman: RMS has an exceptional track record in the .... I fully endorse him as a
candidate, assuming he's willing to drop his puerile "GNU/Linux"
ego stroking.

Translation: I don't want that nutjob running shit.

n7h pU57!!��

[Dada Troll]

5v(k Mi |)1cK0!!

How about Bill Gates?

[eugene ts wong]

I hear that he is pretty good at kernel maintenance.

Yeah!

[wrinkledshirt]

This is my kind of April Fool's joke.

At first you laugh.

Then you crap your pants.

Succession.

[saintlupus]

This also is your chance to voice who should take the reigns from the kernel's originator.

Taco's mom.

--saint

And in recent news...

[pimpinmonk]

And in recent news, Bill Gates has left Microsoft concentrate his efforts on OpenBSD. Bill Gates is generously donating his full-time efforts to this project and no extra charge. The reason cited is that he was "sick of all the evil in the closed-source world, and he wanted to stop being viewed as Satan's right-hand-man." Ironically, the mascott of BSD is a devil... April Fools! Hahahahohohoheeheehee. I crack myself up... oh wait, no one else is laughing... [Slashdot crew finally gets it and stops posting april fools "jokes"] Please, refrain from violently sodomizing the dead horse.

I know how to solve the dilemma

[Em Emalb]

get them all on weakest link and let them have a go at each other....

"Why did you vote for RMS?"

"He smells bad."

thanks for shopping....Oh look, a big shiny thing!

Richard stallman would be perfect

[HanzoSan]

Who better to lead linux development than the creator of GNU? GNU/Linux should be lead by richard stallman.

Re:Richard stallman would be perfect

[Glytch]

Yeah! After all, look how stable and powerful the HURD kernel is.

Argh. Quality not Quantity

[MisterBlister]

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and this post is partially redundent, but what ever happened to the art of performing ONE GOOD April Fools day joke that actually has a chance of fooling someone with an IQ over 60?
Having so many April Fool's Day joke references on Slashdot, even if some of them would be good on their own, totaly cancels out the effectiveness of ALL OF THEM, making them just seem completely STUPID. The true joy of a good April's Fool Day joke isn't the perceived 'chortle-cleverness' of an obvious joke, but the reaction of those fooled into believing it. The Slashdot editors have robbed us of seeing any of this type of reaction post by stupidly linking to every semi-geek April Fool's Day joke on the web.

Next year how about one good April Fool's Day joke that is Slashdot specific and that might be somewhat ridiculous but also is somewhat in the realm of possibility, followed by a 'Quickie' post containing the good geeky April Fool's Day jokes from around the web on April 2nd?

Re:Argh. Quality not Quantity

[manyoso]

But that is what they've done! By crying wolf so many times today, you haven't noticed that _one_ of the stories today actually is _true_! My guess, is the Slashdot infotisement article. Happy April Fools!

Re:Argh. Quality not Quantity

[GrenDel Fuego]

If you read the mail thread, you'll see that the mail headers were forged, and this message actually originated in Russia.

It was someone's joke, but not Linus's.

Re:Argh. Quality not Quantity

[daviddennis]

It has more than a little echo of Lenin's final letter as he lay dying, where he gives a balanced appraisal of all his potential successors.

The only problem is that he didn't think any of them were any good.

I wonder how many other people caught that reference? The fact that it came from Russia triggered my memory; it's exactly the type of thing a Russian would write.

Funny idea.

D

In related news...

[FortKnox]

...CmdrTaco gets the absolute shit beaten out of him by disgruntled readers. He should of listened to his audience when they complained of the uselessness of the fourth April Fools article, but Taco preceeded to post an addition twenty-three articles.

Mmmm consistancy...

[MrPerfekt]

I don't see what you people are complaining about..

All the articles posted today are right on par quality-wise with the articles posted every other day!

That's OK

[PD]

Linus hasn't done a damn thing in years anyway. The real person behind the kernel is actually Linux Thorvald. That's why something like the VM fiasco happened. Linus wouldn't have done something stupid like that, but Linux Thorvald does a hundred things dumber than that before he eats breakfast. And, rumor has it that he's also dating Natalee Portam on the side.

Note to self:

[dodald]

Stay offline for a few days. Theses things are getting out of hand.
1. qt-console (I fell for this one :))
2. Apple for x86
3. Even google has one :) and
4. ask slashdot is full of them!
Ebay's homepage was farged up

Someone should compile a list.

Orville Redenbacher

[drew_kime]

That guy has developed some kick-ass kernels.

Re:Orville Redenbacher

[vanguard]

I suspect it won't slow down the rate at which patches are accepted.

Bill Gates, duhhh

[eander315]

I just saw an article on CNET that said a mass email went out today to all Microsoft employees and MCSEs indicating that they *will* vote for Bill Gates, or their jobs/certs will be disposed of. That's a lot of votes; I think he'll win.

Re:Ugh

[GreyyGuy]

Come on! If there was a real story out here today no one would believe it!

He's changed his mind already...

[Saint Aardvark]

Linus is going to rewrite the kernel in Visual Basic.

That's it, goddammit, I'm switching to FreeBSD. Linux and Linus are just too damned disorganized.

ATTENTION: APRIL 1, 2003 PLANS

[rjamestaylor]

Please (o, please!) hand the April 1 Fooling to the trolls. Malda should contract the foolin' out next year to the /. trolls of his choice - that would be funny and cool. Unlike this year.

Why???

[Compulawyer]

Am I even bothering to hit the refresh button in the vain hope that there will actually be some news on here today? I know there must be some in here somewhere, but today I can't be bothered clicking on source links and reading far enough to try to ascertain what is real and what is 4/1 trash. I'm outta here until tomorrow.

Upcoming kernel re-write

[Draoi]

... and it doesn't end there! Check out this posting by linus;

Hi folks, I have been dealing with maintaining Linux in a mixture of C and Assembler for over twelve years now. While it has been a lot of fun, every day dealing with these essentially dead languages has become harder and harder for me, and other programers seem to agree.

Thus, starting with Linux 3.0 (to be released hopefully by next summer), the kernel will be completely rewritten in the easy-to-use Visual Basic language. This will eliminate all issues involving buffer overruns, as well as streamlining porting of Windows programs to Linux, since Microsoft (who will now assume ownership of Linux) assure me that Windows is written entirely in VB as well.

Microsoft has also stated that they intend to incorporate Windows features, such as the RRS (Rapid Random Shutdown) in Windows 95, into Linux 3.0.

Linus

Yee-harr! Can't wait ...

In other news today...

[Zen Mastuh]

• Novelist Steven King, 55, was found dead in his Maine home today. Even if you aren't familiar with his work, you will understand his importance. Truly an American icon.
• Slashdot has announced the debut of its newest blog, goatse.cx. Slashdot founder Rob "Commander Taco" Malda predicted that goatse.cx aficionados would soon start advertising the site by hiding links in comments attached to articles on slashdot. "Oh, I've been hyping it up myself through my troll accounts", the red-eyed Taco added.
• Actor Alan Thicke was also found dead today in his home, causing millions of slashdot readers to break into tearful renditions of "Show me that smile again...".
• This early post is for Ida!
• Slashdot founder Malda announced today that "All your april fool are belong to us!". A flurry of posters rushed to correct his rare misuse of the English language; the increase in network traffic appeared similar to a DDOS attack. The service was interrupted to fend off the apparent attack and will be restored later.

THIS is funny.

[famazza]

This post is much more funny than the first one!

• Upcoming rewrite of kernel

Please let the insanity end

[nzkoz]

Could we have some useful news today? Hell, it isn't even April 1st here. Why must the internet become useless for me on April 2nd?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

The actually funny one

[markmoss]

The actually funny one is here.

Hi folks,

I have been dealing with maintaining Linux in a mixture of C and Assembler for over twelve years now. While it has been a lot of fun, every day dealing with these essentially dead languages has become harder and harder for me, and other programers seem to agree.

Thus, starting with Linux 3.0 (to be released hopefully by next summer), the kernel will be completely rewritten in the easy-to-use Visual Basic language. This will eliminate all issues involving buffer overruns, as well as streamlining porting of Windows programs to Linux, since Microsoft (who will now assume ownership of Linux) assure me that Windows is written entirely in VB as well.

Microsoft has also stated that they intend to incorporate Windows features, such as the RRS (Rapid Random Shutdown) in Windows 95, into Linux 3.0.

Linus

Don't forget:

[StandardDeviant]

BSD is about to die! They only have 7000 users! ;-)

*sigh*

[ebbomega]

"All your april fool are belong to us!"

All your funny are belong to a year ago!
Someone set up us the dead horse!
You have no chance to be funny make your time!