Slashdot Mirror
Linus Retiring from Kernel Dev
looflirpa writes "Here is a post from Linus Torvalds. Seems like he has had enough linux for now, and is searching for a new
leader for the linux kernel development. Certainly a shame, but everybody knew that this
had to happen, sooner or later" This also is your chance to voice who should
take the reins from the kernel's originator.
Ok fuck, Please end this april fools shit.
Put some thought into *ONE* fucking story instead of
spreading yourselfs thin and pissing off every user of the site.
One story is enough, the whole day is just unnecessary. Give us real news now please.
Fellow hackers,
For some time I have felt unappreciated by some members of the Linux
community. Far too many of you like to whine and cry, saying "My patches
aren't being accepted by Linus, but they are by Alan or Michael!"
It seems that some of you are too stupid to follow the simple
instructions that I have made clear on more than one occasion.
This, combined with the fact that today is my last day at Transmeta,
has prompted me to consider rediscovering that balance I had in my life
before you all took my hobby and made it into a mass movement. I have
not decided who should take over maintenance of the kernel myself, for I
believe that this decision should be made in a quasi-democratic
fashion. While democracy has not worked well with this group of people
before, I am willing to give it one last chance.
However, I do have some opinions on who should succeed me as leader
of kernel development. I will provide my opinions below as I am
entitled to do so. Below is an alphabetical list of my nominations.
I include a brief explanation of why I nominated them and any concerns
I may have. You all should do the same for your nominations.
Alan Cox: Alan has done a spectacular job of maintaining the 2.2 branch
ever since I embarked on the development branch. He would have been an
automatic choice for this job, except for his childish refusal to
travel to the US, where all the real kernel hackers hang out.
Marcello has proven to me, however, that you do not need to live
in a technology-rich country such as the US to be a leader of
kernel development.
Matt Dillon: Whenever someone moans about the 2.4 VM fiasco,
I think to myself, "I wish Matt hadn't left the Linux kernel
development for FreeBSD!" I believe that if Matt were to be chosen
as leader, we would have had a sane and working VM on par with
FreeBSD's months ago. While he has little leadership experience, he
is a member of FreeBSD-core, a position which certainly demands
respect.
Eric S. Raymond: Being leader of kernel development involves
fielding a significant amount of media attention. ESR has shown
on many occasions that he can talk shit and still sound just as
convincing as anyone on this list, all the time being completely
oblivious to any contrasting viewpoints. While his
kernel-configuration-adventure-game contribution to Linux just
screams out "worthless bloat", I must admit to having enjoyed
many a lonely night playing the game. If he could lay a similar
interface over gdb, I'm sure that more kernel hackers would
actually debug their work before submitting it.
Richard M. Stallman: RMS has an exceptional track record in the
open-source field, being largely responsible for my favorite text
editor, compiler, and debugger. No other open-source hacker has
come as close as he has to replicating the integration available
with Microsoft Visual C++ 6 years ago. I fully endorse him as a
candidate, assuming he's willing to drop his puerile "GNU/Linux"
ego stroking.
Theo de Raadt: Theo is an exceptional candidate. Not only is he a
more than adequate hacker; he attracts exactly the type of people
to OpenBSD that he wants, and will jettison those who are not up to
the task. While purging out all the less-than-adequate hackers
in the Linux project will inevitably attract negative publicity
from Slashdot and other "community" sites where these feeble hackers
hang out, it will no doubt strengthen Linux in the future. Just
look at what Theo's strong leadership has done for OpenBSD! He
turned around the worthless "research project" that was NetBSD and
made it an enterprise-class firewall system. I can only imagine
the effect his Midas touch could have on the Linux kernel.
You have until the end of April 1, 23:59 Pacific Time to submit your
nominations to the list. The most nominated person will become the leader
of kernel development. I will examine the list of nominations and,
assuming that the winner wants the job, I will hand full control over to
them. I know that this is short notice, but knowing how obsessively most
of you check your inboxes, I figure you should have more than adequate
time to submit your recommendations. The decision will be final and no
discussion will be considered after it has been made, so choose
carefully.
Thank you.
Linus
-
This masterpiece was written by the Slashdot Troll Community. The only funny hoax of the entire day, and now that it makes the front page, the authors of the hoax are pounded into -1 by the Moderation system. I guess the message is "it's funny if it's posted somewhere else".
Fucking stupid hypocrites.
I DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
General Vlasov News Agency
Moscow, March 4, 2002
In late-breaking news today President Putin rebuked what he called "alarmists" in his own government who had raised eyebrows with what President Putin called "unauthorized statements" opposing the nuclear annihilation of what they called "Russia."
"This is no tragedy," said the characteristically enigmatic Putin, "if it helps the international fight against deadly terror."
Mr. Putin's remarks, praised by State Department Spokesperson Richard Boucher as proving that "Russia has finally chosen the path of civil society," were uttered during a chat with reporters who caught up with Mr. Putin as he left the presidential gym.
"Make it quick," quipped the characteristically poker faced leader, sweating from his daily five hour jujitsu workout. "I gotta meet some old colleagues from the USIA office in Berlin to get my orders - I mean, to order lunch. Two Big Macs, plenty fries. They're paying," said the President, flashing his characteristic smirk.
Reporters asked Putin if he was concerned about reports of a U.S., German, French, Turkish, Norwegian, Dutch, Luxembourgian and Monocan military buildup in Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, Azerbaijan, Armenia, Georgia, Kazakhstan and other Russian neighbors and traditional allies.
"Hell no," answered Putin, with characteristic bluntness. "They're free to welcome troops, warplanes, surveillance installations and nuclear missile batteries from whatever source as long as they say it's to combat deadly terror."
A reporter from Sovietskaya Rossia asked, "Didn't the American foreign policy establishment create and for twenty years sponsor the very Islamist terrorists - including the ones in Chechnya - whom they now claim they must enter every country to destroy?"
"Typical cold war thinking," said Putin with characteristic scorn. "By creating Islamism our American partners have awakened the world to the need to crush it, thus laying a practical basis for the international war against terror. We can only be grateful."
Queried about NATO efforts to overthrow the government of recently reelected Belarussian President Lukashenko, whose country forms a joint economic and military union with Russia, the highly inscrutable president displayed characteristic nonchalance. He reacted similarly to questions about current unrest in the former Soviet Republic of Moldova, which according to hard-liners, has been instigated by NATO powers.
"I try to focus on pressing social problems at home, like crushing communists and firing trouble makers," said Putin. "That's my assignment - I mean job. My job. As President of, you know, NATO - I mean, Russia. President of Russia. Whatever," explained the affable if characteristically phlegmatic reformer.
Nibbling an American power bar, Putin confirmed that he was stepping up delivery of Russian military attack helicopters to the Pastrana regime in Colombia thus assisting efforts to further the peace process there by eliminating peasants, trade unionists and other terrorists.
"We might bomb Venezuela on the way," commented the poker faced Putin. "They could be harboring terrorists, who knows?"
The President expressed gratitude that in exchange for unilaterally closing Russian military bases in Vietnam, Cuba and elsewhere and providing Russian troops to NATO's missions in Bosnia, Kosovo and elsewhere NATO's Secretary General, Lord George Robertson, "is now willing to take my calls. He even offered to inform me of future NATO humanitarian wars, after they start," said Putin, with characteristic satisfaction.
As the impromptu press conference ended, a reporter informed the President that Georgian troops led by US Special Forces had entered Russia in hot pursuit of suspected al Qaeda members fleeing Georgia and that the Americans, who are limited to strictly noncombatant functions, had called in nuclear strikes against the southern Russian City of Rostov to flush out terrorists who also may be hiding in Moscow, St. Petersburg, and Minsk.
The philosophical Putin was characteristically unruffled:
"Russia's a problem and somebody's got to solve it," he said. "No, wait a minute - not Russia, terrorism. Terrorism's the problem. Whatever. The point is, what's the tragedy if this helps the international fight against deadly terror? Now no more questions. I'm late for lunch."
I am into the copy and paste.
I modded you as insightful because your troll post was pure trolling. Trolling has become an artform and you reinvented a classic. The subject is first post and the message is also first post. You were not the first post, but you were the second. Don't ever let anyone tell you you will never be a true first post, because I see talent in you. The question is, can you take your talent to the next level and give us years and years of more trolling so I can surf /. at -1?
This is the Internet. You can say "fuck" here. - AC
NEVER again shall I bad mouth the moderators.
Dam fine Work!
just how gullable are we supposed to be, Taco?
I bet the gotse.cx guy could fit all your hot grits, Natalie Portman and your whole beowolf cluster...
... "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the w
We should appoint Goatse.cx man. As of late, we can be sure that what he pulls out of his ass will be of much higher quality than what Linus has been putting out :)
Fuck you, troll. This is the real F1r57 P057.
ah, the glory! as of 5:08 eastern:
Offtopic=1, Troll=2, Insightful=6, Interesting=3, Informative=1, Funny=1, Overrated=5, Underrated=1, Total=20.
Kharma to the trolls! Long live the revolution!
Last POST!
Trollbots, mod up into MeGaTRoll!
-more than meets the eye!
first +1 bonus reply to 420 weedsmoking post! karma be damned! Enjoy the High Times or they will pass you by.
Time for some tasty Shiner Bock!
You know, this is getting re-goddamned-diculous. Couldn't.. everyone.. come up with a, schedule for mock releases?
I mean, everyone expects this drek today. But, what if you released things, say, on 7 August? Or 20 November? Hmm?
I used to be someone else. Now I'm someone better.
Real life is underrated.