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April Fools Wrap Up
Thanks for the usual April Fools Day flame- every year people fall for it.
It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless
a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke.
Lastly, jfengel sent us the annual April Fools RFC: RFC3251 describes "Electricity over IP" and RFC3252 on "Binary Lexical Octet Ad-hoc Transport" reformulates IP to work over XML."
S:Dear CmdrTaco, I was wondering if you couldE EEEEEEEEEE EE!
T:What's the best High Tech Toilet?
S:AAAaaaahhh That hurt, please stop! I was just wondering if
T:Do programming languages affect your Sexual Performance?
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH! Did I do something wrong? I jus
T:IP replaced Avian Carriers! It's funny, get it!
S:AAHCGH gurgle, moan. Pleash, stop the pain, I can
T:AOL is buying up useless Blog sites! I'm important! Get it?
S:AAAAAAGH! No more! Kill me now, someone, please kill m
T:Google is ranking with pigeons! Get it? Pigeons?
S:AGAHAGHAGHAGAHGa gurgle. whimper. AHGHH I'll give you anything. I'll stop plea
T:Slashdot's advertisers have demanded that we run stupid stories!
S:Ok! Ok! You fiend, I'll never troll again, please, you can have whateve
T:Mac OsX is l33t!
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIEEEGGGH! No! No! Please just break my knees! Please, no don't..
T:Check out this Debian Rootkit!
S:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE
S:(silence)
T:Yo, Hemos, did we kill all of 'em?
H:Ya, but better post a few more to make sure.
T:nVidia and AMD are gonna merge! Get it? MERGE.
S:(silence)
Cowboy Neal: I feel a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of Slashdot posters
just comitted suicide. Get it? The Force?
Or is it the last first post?
libertarianswag.com
Does this mean Wil Wheaton won't be in Enterprise?? Damn!
or is this some April Fools day joke?
*runs away in dispair*
The picture speaks for itself.
(CmdrTaco seen far right.)
"No", came the answer.
::cue evil chuckling over final AFD prank.
...does this mean that you'll retract the Wheateon story if it turns out he's telling the truth?
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Finally CmdrTaco has stopped drinking today.
Ohhh... fuck you.
For crying out loud, you people are fucking addicted to this place and all you can do is bitch about it. I like it better when it was just for Malda's personal amusement, I don't give a fuck about the shareholders and he shouldn't either. If he starts running the site with nothing but the shareholders in mind then everything that makes the site worthwhile will vanish. So a hearty FUCKOFF to you, maybe if Malda ignored the shareholders clamoring for money more often we'd go back to getting amusing stories about lego robots dismantling other lego robots with glow in the dark magnetic nerf guns.
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
It never ceases to amaze me how pompous and self-righteous, yet utterly clueless posters can be despite the blatant lameness of their posts.
I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.
Given What Happened To The Censorware Project (censorware.org), I don't think submitting it to Slashdot as an article is even worth the e-mail.
I'll post it here just for reader enjoyment. I think it's better than many of the stories which WERE posted!
______
Spam "protection" - a modest proposal
by Seth Finkelstein
April 1 2002
The problem of Spam, i.e. junk e-mail, has been plaguing the net for years. This article makes a modest proposal for spam "protection", in terms of a novel economic analysis leading to the benefit of all concerned.
In economic terms, let's consider why there's profit in spamming (sending large numbers of unsolicited emails). This is due to the "cost-shifting" nature of the spam process. It takes very little effort to send a large number of e-mails. But e-mail is not free (as in beer). In effect, the spammer shifts the expense of the advertising campaign, from the seller, onto ISPs and users:
- The ISP must pay (in resources) to distribute the spammer's ads
- The user must pay (in time) to delete the spammer's ads
So this is, literally, the price of free (as in speech) speech - the ISP and the user must bear the costs of the spammer's ads. Now, a frequent "technological solution" is that, once the ISP has paid to handle the spammer's mail, the user can avoid the further payment of time, by paying cash to another organization, which will perform the task of sorting out the spam. This approach is exemplified by services offered by, for example, Brightmail Inc. or SpamCop Email SystemBut what does this sorting organization do? Its only task is to try to identify spam from real mail. That is, it is paid to try to identify mail sent from spammers. However, since it is in an adversary relationship to the spammers, the spam-gangs have every reason to try to avoid such identification.
There have been some proposals to facilitate identification of spam by legally requiring labels. But that involves government and law. In fact, it's compelled speech! Instead, since the free market is the solution to all problems, the only proper course of action is to provide spammers with an economic incentive to identify themselves. After all, spam identification is the exact product being sold by third parties, so why pay a middle-man? If one is going to pay, for maximum market efficiency, why not pay the source?
In this scheme, the user pays a mailbox "protection fee" to an umbrella group, let's call it the "Spamafia". In return for this "protection", the "Spamafia" provides the user with a simple mailbox checking system which can be run over mail messages. Because this system works in a manner akin to passing items over a net barrier, it might be termed a "racket". So, the "racket" tests each piece of mail. Those mail messages which originate from members of the Spamafia each contain a certification token. In the process of testing the mail, this token is sent back to the Spamafia, and so redeemed to the individual spammer for a small fee, say a penny or so. In return, the user is given assurance that this message is certified as spam, and so can be automatically deleted without fear of losing legitimate mail. In essence, the spammer is given an incentive to also obtain a small amount of money from each smart user by being straightforward, rather than only trying to obtain a larger amount of money by fooling just a few suckers (and annoying everyone else).
The beauty of the system is that everyone has an incentive to participate. The spammers get more money, as the spams can generate income now from both the suckers, and the nonsuckers paying mailbox protection fees. There's no reason to evade spam-detection, in fact the opposite. The more people signed up to the protection racket, the more certification tokens are redeemed. The smart users get to have a workable mailbox, rather than one filled with junk. And they have the "peace of mind" that the mail being deleted is not important. It's the magic of the market at work.
You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine!
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
... every year people fall for it. It never ceases to amaze me how angry and venomous, yet utterly clueless a few people can be despite the blatant obviousness of the joke. Doesn't surprise me at all. But please don't describe them as "gullible", that's not even a real word. If you don't believe me, look it up. =brian
Thanks for the usual April Fools Day flame- every year people fall for it.
Only one flame? Didn't you READ the comments atached to your stories?
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Thank the diety-of-your-choice that it is coming to and end!
"They do not preach that their god will rouse them, a little before the Nuts work loose." Kipling, 'The Sons of Martha'
Hint: read the HTML source of that link. Things will be clearer. The CVS $Id$ is a bit of a giveaway as well :)
After getting chocked up with /. nonsense and other similar stuff today, I decided to give up and use my computer for some playing. I wanted to play some oldie, so I reinstalled Master of Orion 2. A few turns into the game, I read into the turn summary:
Citizens demand a stadium. (There is no stadium building in MOO2, so I was puzzled). And more cream of celery soup. I stared for a while at the screen, and then laughed.
Still unsure if this was some 4/1 joke, I checked google and found a page saying that there's actually that easter egg in the game that shows that message.
That was the only thing today that left me with the jaw open. I hope there are still some places where I will be off guard on next April Fools... Slashdot hasn't one of them for a long while.
Come again partner.
Fried ice cream is a reality. - George Clinton
On 1 April 2004, Kathleen Malda receives letter from the Holland, Michigan, "divorce court". The letter, however, is completely blank, except for a single line:
April Fools! Get it? GET IT???
On 2 April 2004, Rob Malda receives a letter from the same court. The letter is not blank, however...
Rob, things are funny only up to a certain point. I hope you've been reading the comments.
In Soviet Russia, Jesus asks: "What Would You Do?"
By using flags in the tcp/ip header, it should be possible to specify if you want the packets to be 110V or 220/230V, if it should be AC or DC. It should even be possible to request various other forms of electricity like, 1.5V, 3V, 6V 9V etc. If you add this to a wireless system, electrical cars would never run out of juice. Billing would easily be solved using GPS coordinates, so that you would receive a bill from the county, state, country you are currently driving in. Ahhhhh... I love April... It smells soooo good!
If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
A bit of an oxymoron, isn't it?
sic transit gloria mundi
The worst -- and funniest -- abuse of the clueless is AOLiza. Take the oldest and lamest online shrink, hook it up to a well-known message system, and you will laugh until you have trouble breathing.
God, I'm cruel and arrogant...
A lot of people at UIUC got this message this morning, disguised as a "Massmail" (read: pointless drivel from the administration). Note the name of the doctor and the lot number on the condoms.
k mail: 2.05
Date: Mon, 01 Apr 2002 07:36:04 -0600
From: "Dr. Ivana Fukalot, MD Asst Dir.McKinley Health Center"
Subject: MASSMAIL - Emergency Condom Recall
To: postmaster@your.smtp.com
Precedence: list
Reply-To: ivanafuk@uiuc.edu
X-Massmail-Tag: 20020401097950-543798
X-URL: http://www.cso.uiuc.edu/services/massmail/
X-Bul
X-UIDL: j3*#!%g:"![aO"!UHH!!
To all University students:
It has recently come to the attention of the McKinley Health Center
Staff that a recent batch of condoms purchased and already in partial
distribution on campus may be defective. According to Trojan, the
manufacturer of the condoms, several thousand condoms distributed to the
University of Illinois may have inappropriately passed the quality
control tests at their production facility.
The recall affects all Trojan brand condoms of the normal, non-ribbed,
variety. If you have received such condoms from McKinley or the McKinley
Resource Center since February 3rd, you are strongly advised to take the
following actions:
If you have used such condoms there is small probability that
microscopic holes may have prevented the condom from performing
effectively. To determine if your pack of condoms was part of the batch
that inappropriately passed the quality control tests, please take the
following steps immediately:
1.) Remove an unused condom from its wrapper.
2.) Fully unroll and stretch the condom and rotate it looking for the
lot numbers imprinted near the base of the condom.
3.) Alternatively, place your mouth on the condom and gently exhale,
inflating the condom to reveal the lot numbers.
If the beginning of the lot numbers starts with:
31337-H4Ck
you may have a condom from the defective batch.
Trojan has requested that we collect all unused condoms from this batch and
return them immediately for testing and disposal. If you are unsure as
to whether the condom pack you possess is affected or not please follow
the return instructions below.
Drop points have been conventiently setup at McKinley Health center and
the McKinley Resource Center. For your convinience we have also arranged
for the tuition drop boxes both in the Illini Union and the Henry
Administration building to be opened for condom collection.
We deeply regret this incident and we realize this situation may have
many serious implications. If you have any further questions we urge you
to contact the McKinley Health Center.
Sincerely,
Dr. Ivana Fukalot, MD
Asst. Director of McKinley Health Center
This mailing approved by:
The Office of the Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs
--
This message sent via MASSMAIL.
Would you like me to:
* Fuck the spelling up
* Post this multiple times as different people
* Add a stupid opinionated comment at the end
* Forget to close a HTML tag
-Yarn - Rio Karma: Excellent