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Earth to...Earth? Are you there?
jasamaman writes "So far all the planets found outside our solar system have been gas giants. So they are not habitable, and couldn't really hold life as we know it. But "planet hunter" David Charbonneau is looking for another planet just like Earth, and claims that astronomers are "very close"."
All your planets are belong to us.
I smelled the air, ridden with the smell of garbage, as I eased my way into the EZSECURE golf cart with Robert, careful not to spill the hot coffee that I'd obtained at the McDonald's only minutes earlier. "This is my first time driving one of these things," he said with a slight hint of nervousness in his voice. "It's okay, Robert," I assured him. "These aren't much different than a car. Make it quick, I want to get away from this dumpster." Unfortunately for my coffee and I, my new recruit had never obtained a driver's license nor driven anything other than a bicycle. I had just one of the most critical errors in the business: misinterpreting a potential threat to the well-being of Walmart's patrons as benign!
Just as Robert was attempting to enable the golf cart's electric motor, we received an urgent message via our walkie-talkie. "Peter! Somebody just left and didn't pay! Stop them!" It was the distress call of Vickie, the night cashier for register five. There wasn't a moment to lose. Our entire livelihood was at stake! I leapt into action without hesitation; this is what I was trained to do. "Robert, get in on the other side!" I exclaimed. The trainee, realizing that our situation was urgent, quickly transferred to the opposite side of the golf cart. In no time flat, we were dashing to the front door of our beloved Walmart. When we arrived, a man, presumably the suspect, was walking rapidly to his car. We pulled up along side of him. I would estimate that he was approximately 6'1" and 280 pounds. A bit chubby, but most likely capable of violence. "Stop, criminal!" I drew a can of mace instantaneously. The astonished thief quickly put his hands up and he dropped the bag containing the stolen goods. He knew that he'd been caught in the act. There was nothing he could do in order to gain the advantage in this situation.
The man spoke without any resemblance of a native Jasper citizen's accent. "I'm not a criminal, you old fogey." Sure you aren't, I thought to myself. I'd heard this line hundreds of times prior to this incident. He exhibited a glare that would have intimidated less seasoned veterans into submission. "I was buying DVDs for my son, moron. We're on our way to Louisiana and he was becoming restless, so I thought I'd surprise him with some movies when he awoke from his nap." As the thief futilely attempted to share his alibi, Vickie ran out of the store. Struggling to find her breath, she explained, "It's okay, Peter. Sandra forgot to deactivate the Checkpoint tags. Uh, he's fine... Let him go..." Her embarassment was made obvious by her red cheeks. She'd just dispatched an elite squadron of trained officers to apprehend an innocent man. "Um, I apologize for the inconvenience," I said as I looked in the innocent man's direction. "What is your name, if I may ask?"
"Screw you," he retorted. "You inept, dollar an hour morons just ruined my vacation. I'll be leaving in a moment, once I eat the rest of my Quarter Pounder with Cheese." The three of us then went our opposite ways. Robert and I walked back to the golf cart; he recommended that I teach him how to manuever our patrol cruiser. He started the golf cart and began driving it rather skillfully. "You're doing well," I complimented. He looked over at me, smiling proudly. As he began to focus on driving again, an automobile's headlights blinded both of us. My hand instinctually grabbed the EZSECURE golf cart's hand rail. All I could hear was the twisting and tearing of metal; all I could see was an emblem resembling a silver star (one I'd never before observed), apparently lit by the reflection of the front parking lot's stadium lighting, as everything faded to the darkest of ebony...
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In New York, the Committee to Protect Journalists issued a protest letter to Prime Minister Ariel Sharon saying Israel had an obligation to allow journalists to work freely in the West Bank.
"Attempting to prevent journalists from witnessing events on the ground is a flagrant act of censorship," the letter said. The group also expressed alarm at "several incidents in which Israeli troops have fired on working journalists."
The Brussels-based International Federation of Journalists on Tuesday criticized Israel for closing areas to the media. "We oppose this strategy, for it amounts to censorship and will be self-defeating," the group said in a statement. "Censorship will not bring peace but will only lead to more ignorance, rumor and fear."
Having sex in a typical kayak would be a scientifically noteworthy experience. Unless of course it was a "hands on" experience.
vision is NOT a verb. somebody please kill me now if it is.
That was classic intercourse!
Ah, mouse-over, you've saved my bacon once again!
Send Jonathan Katz to this alternate planet. Actually ask Katz about it. I'm sure he knows eactly where they all are. He knows practically everything it seems.