Slashdot Mirror
Spanish Province Dist-Upgrades
Johnny Mnemonic writes "The Spanish province of Extremadura has adopted Linux for the official OS of schools and offices, largely because of price. Simply, they don't have enough money for other OSes, and they promise to handle the rollout more gracefully than a similar Linux initiative in Mexico. According to Wired, this is the first time a European school system has switched to Linux."
THE (HOPEFULLY) GREAT SLASHDOT CROSSWORD PUZZLE!
Now's your chance to see just how well you've been paying attention during the past four years of chips, dips, Micro$loth, Napster, IPOs, BSD, rights online, editor censorship, and of course Linux, Linux, Linux! Complete the following professional-quality crossword puzzle chock full of trivia on Slashdot, Open Source, and geekiness in general for not only posterity but GREAT PRIZES!! Prizes include the following:
A fresh box of QUAKER GRITS !
Your very own SLASHDOT CRUISER !
A hot date with NATALIE PORTMAN !
A genuine VA Lin^H^H^HSOFTWARE STOCK CERTIFICATE !
It doesn't get much better than this, folks! Here's how to play:
Fill in the crossword completely. No incomplete (or incorrect) solutions will be considered.
Once you're sure you have the crossword completely figured out, submit it to slashdot_crossword at engineer.com. If you indeed have the solution, one of the above four prizes are yours! The prizes are in limited supply (well, except for the VA stock certificates), so get those solutions in early!
The winners will be announced on 2002/04/28, to be praised in -1 crapfloods for all eternity (or at least until the crapflooders get bored and go back to posting gay Slashdot editor fanfics).
While we fully assert that this crossword is professional quality, there are of course some variations from the standard crossword form to make things more interesting for the Slashdot crowd. Some answers are used more than once. Digits (0-9) exist in some answers. Some clues are repeated with different answers. Many of the answers are acronyms or initialisms; if the answer that comes to mind doesn't fit, try thinking of common abbreviations for it. And, of course, the crossword indices are all in hexadecimal (this is Slashdot, after all!)
So, without further ado, here comes the crossword! Plain HTML is admittedly ugly and unpleasant to look at, so you may download and print a nice PDF version here. Good luck!
+-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +-+- +
|1 |2 |3 |4 |##|5 |6 |##|7 | |8 |##|9 |##|0a| |0b|0c|##|0d|
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|0e| | | |##|0f| |10| |##| |##|11| | |##|12| |13| |
+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##| |##|14| | | |##|15|16| |##| |##|17| | | |
+- +- - +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|##|18| | |19|##|##|1a| |1b| | |##|##|##|1c|####|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|1d| |##|##| |##|1e| | | |##|1f|20|21|22| |23|##|24|##|
+ +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|25|26|27| |##|##| |##|28|29|##|2a| | |##|2b|2c| |##|
+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +-+
|##|2d| | |##|2e|2f|##|##|30| | | |##| |##|31| | |##|
+- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +-+- +
|##|##|##|32| | | |##|##|##| |##|##|33| |34|##| |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- + + +- +- +-+- +
|35|36|37|##|##|38| |39|##|3a|##|##|3b| |##| |##|3c| | |
+-+-+- +- +- ++- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +
|3d| | | |3e|##|##|3f| | |##|40|##|##|41| | | |##|##|
+-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- + - +- +- + +-+- +
| |##|##|##|42| |43| |##|44| | |45| | | |##|46|47|48|
+- +- - +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- + +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +
|49|4a| | | |##|4b| | | |##|4c| |##| |##|##|4d| | |
+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +
|##| |##|##| |##| |##|##|4e|4f| |##|50| |51|##|52| | |
+-+- +- + +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- + +- +- + +- +- +
|53| | | | |##| |##|54| | | | |##|55| | |##|##| |
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +- + +- +
|56| |##|##|##|57| | |##|##|##| |##|##| |##|##|##|58| |
+- +- +- - +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +
|59| |##|##|##|##| |##|5a| |5b|##|##|5c| |5d|##|5e|##| |
+- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +-+- +
| |##|##|5f| |60| |##| |##| |##|61| |##|62|63| | |##|
+- +- +- + +- +- +- +- +- - +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +
|##|64| | |##| |##|65| | | |##|##| |##|66| | |##|##|
+- +-+- +- +- +- - +- +- +- +- +-+-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +
|67| |##|68| | |##|69| |##|6a| | | |##|6b| | | |##|
+- +- +-+- +- +- +- + +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +
|6c| | |##|##| |##|6d| | | |##|##|6e| | | | |##|6f|
+-+- +- +- +- +- +-+ +- +- +- +- +- +- +-+- +- +- +- +-+
THE CLUES:
Across
1. This band must've been desperate for publicity to give an interview to Slashdot!
5. Crapflooder impersonated well by Silicon Simian.
7. A special treat you earn for Bad Posting.
0A. Sean Kelly's ex-lover and former SlashNET IRCop.
0E. Ew! Between the eyes!
0F. This dog won't mess your carpet, shed fur all over the place, or do much else besides consume batteries.
11. Living proof that you get what you pay for.
12. The soundtrack for the World Wide Web.
14. Disney makes money to destroy free speech on the Internet every time you buy ____ on DVD.
15. Slashcode's overglorified killfile.
17. You were writing FOX about "The Tick" when you should've been writing your congressman about this bill.
18. A very Snotty troll.
1A. This young Afghan loves watching movies and JonKatz on his C64.
1D. The best text editor EVER!
1E. What you say!! If you say it one more time, I'll bludgeon you to death!
1F. These guys gave Linux mono.
25. These shiny discs feed money into a bloated media cartel and stifle fair use rights, but you buy them by the millions anyway.
28. Slashdot's top comment poster and story submitter.
2A. These networks "disrupt" artists' cash flows.
2B. Open Source codeword for amphetamines.
2D. RAM type optimized for Extended Data Output on old Pentiums.
2E. Hillary Rosen knows you're just itching to steal Charley Pride's __.
30. A hack to get a kernel designed only to boot off floppy disks to boot off a hard drive.
31. ___ BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN-SOURCE CD!!!
32. Marketers who resort to this tactic are worse than Hitler and should be tortured and killed.
33. This desktop environment kicks GNOME's ass!
35. Microsoft sold off this Unix, and it's gone downhill ever since.
38. An essential e-mail utility for child pornographers and terrorists.
3B. (0A Down)'s lucky number.
3C. It's not Unix, and it shows.
3D. Preface for 90% of Slashdot comments, and 100% of CmdrTaco's personal ads.
3F. Where non-free software goes on your file system.
41. You better mark all the comments as ____ in metamod unless you want to lose karma.
42. This international standards body, no matter what you may think, does NOT read Slashdot.
44. Head bitch of the RIAA.
46. A primitive chat program superseded by AOL Instant Messenger.
49. An online webzine which demonstrated that online subscriptions don't work to everybody except CmdrTaco.
4B. If you moderate in a way CmdrTaco doesn't like, you earn this special database flag.
4C. vi does a poor job of emulating this standard Unix text editor.
4D. To B or not __ _.
4E. You won't get much use out of this text-recognition technology if all you use your scanner for is scanning your ass.
50. The sound Michael's head makes when he's stuffing it up his rectum.
52. Unique index for a whole LIST of babble.
53. The world's best operating system!
54. Father of Methuselah, or old-school Slashdot troll.
55. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict this operating system's future.
56. Most geeks sleep through this half of the day.
57. This open-source man was Natalie's first.
58. Carly's mission is to steer this company into the ground.
59. mimbleton's favorite subject prefix.
5A. Chewing this might help your babbling problem.
5C. Programming language named after Lord Byron's daughter.
5F. Dead drummer for CmdrTaco's favorite band, or ridiculous Liberal myth.
61. Every Slashdotter's dream is to get one of these.
62. The Firm that is spelling Armageddon for free speech on The Net.
64. These networks are the beginning of Disorganized Crime.
65. Shitty "bitch band" whose leader likes to bitch about the RIAA.
66. The only Adequacy editor with a real PhD.
67. I think 7 over 22 is both backwards AND wrong.
68. Mentioning this droid (and others) is what is keeping you from getting laid.
69. Two-letter country code for Oman.
6A. Giving a ____ Necklace involves "coming" on Heidi Wall's bosom.
6B. What people who can't afford Visual Studio use to search text files.
6C. This hacker tool is often used to replace "characters" in "strings".
6D. QueenTaco's maiden name.
6E. The best text editor EVER!
6F. The PDP-11 assembler that thinks it's a programming language.
Down ...
1. Taco thinks that a purchase of his publicly traded company's services is a ___.
2. The self-centered Windows 9x release after 98SE.
3. 3D Tamagotchi game designed by Peter Molyneux.
4. A crippled Photoshop wannabe.
5. Lock your penis bird in a cage to protect it from this text-outputting animal.
6. Russian Geeks in Space.
7. If your karma surpasses 25, you have this and a problem.
8. Luckily, michael was born too late to join THIS party.
9. If this Slashdot section's color scheme doesn't drive you away, Michael's snotty editorial remarks will.
0A. Suffering cerebral palsy didn't stop him from becoming Surprised by Wealth.
0B. The market leader in megahertz lies.
0C. Statement used to declare variables in Visual Basic.
0D. Media cartel dedicated to protecting Britney Spears from dirty hackers.
10. Once the greatest Karma Whore ever, now a suicidal loser seen only on (33 Down).
13. Game console that bankrupted its parent company because of hackers making free games for it.
16. The only Unix understandable by non-geeks.
18. (40 Down) likes his pages ____.
1C. Research? Linux? Software? Whatever!
20. The first step towards failure for Linux companies.
21. Every Slashdotter's duty (except those marked with (4B Across)).
22. Apple's stylish new IP theft device.
23. (43 Down)'s employer.
24. A flaky Open-Source knockoff of (38 Across).
26. ESR's birthday present to RMS.
27. This primitive operating system denies any service to its users.
29. Unique index for a particular piece of babble.
2C. A tasty breakfast treat -- down your pants!
2E. You hit this once you get 50 karma points.
2F. This marketing guy troll sure is dumb!
33. This site is decidedly not Slashdot.
34. An easy way to lose all your karma is to offer your account for sale on this popular auction site.
35. Unfortunately, this famous online Nazi's treatment of the Censorware Project wasn't just a game.
36. Two-letter country code for the 51st state.
37. A geek's computer is always __.
39. ____, Lover, Aesthete, Programmer. There is no contradiction.
3A. The XP makes it go faster!
3E. The world's worst operating system!
40. The only troll with a freaks list longer than JonKatz'.
41. The OS all the cool people use now that Linux isn't trendy anymore.
43. A top-flight IT consultant who somehow manages to find time in his busy schedule to post to Slashdot.
45. What comes after as(1) and before strip(1) in the C build process.
47. VA Software has the world's worst ___.
48. This Senate bill comes closer to passing every time you go to see Lord of the Rings again.
4A. Legalized child pornography.
4F. What the Greeks went to Delphi for, Geeks go to this state for.
51. The Hellmouth should've eaten you here.
53. This rocker's battle against file-sharing networks won't end until he can Kill 'Em All.
5A. This desktop environment kicks KDE's ass!
5B. This modest and self-effacing troll was one of the first on Slashdot.
5C. You'd have to think different to justify spending money on this company's overpriced products.
5D. A game console which thought it was a full-featured computer system.
5E. Cofounder of Chips 'n' Dips.
5F. It may not have the best sound quality, but at least it's better than Ogg Vorbis.
60. Preface for the 10% of Slashdot comments not prefaced with (3D Across).
64. Bye bye, miss USian ___, drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a *sigh*
65. A dynamically updated list of the biggest losers on Slashdot.
67. Standard programming language implemented by most high-end printers.
6F. This language's lack of bounds checking is responsible for 90% of software security holes out there.
fin
Loneliness is a power that we possess to give or take away forever
Email me and tell me what you think of widening! [mailto]
http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgab
The Spanish Inquisition!!
LOLOL!!!!1
ps fux0r LITs
-S.Trooper
It all started after I had met CmdrTaco in an internet chat room. This was before he got all famous with slasdot and because ashamed of his sexuality. I invited him to my dorm for a drink and some fun.I shaved my legs, arm pits and asshole. Put on my sexiest outfit and makeup. CmdrTaco arrived on time and looked very hot to me. He came over to the couch and I provided the proper licking and sucking to get him rock hard. He then entered me doggie style and we had a good hard fuck until he came deep into my ass. We were both satisfied. CmdrTaco suggested that I get dressed in my best dress and makeup and that we go out. I told him that I wasn't passable and he assured me that it wouldnt be a problem where we were going. He also asked me if I'd ever had a fantasy of doing more than one guy at a time. I said I had and would be up for it. I was really hot for the idea. CmdrTaco kissed me goodbye and said he would return in an hour with his van.I took a nice hot shower and put on my slinkiest dress and did my face up quite attractivley. I still wasn't passable but it was dark now and if we were just going for a ride I'd be ok. CmdrTaco pulled up exactly when he promised and I quickly made my way to the van. He laughed that I was in a big hurry. I was concerned that the neighbors wouldn't see me dressed. When I got in the van CmdrTaco gave me a passionate kiss and took off around the corner. He said he had to give his friend timothy a ride to workand would I mind sitting in the back. The back of the van was fitted out nicely with built in seats along the side. timothy got in the van and we were introduced.CmdrTaco said "this was the girl I was telling you about on the phone". timothy said hello and climbed in the back with me. At first I thought it was strange but then I thought he was interested in talking to a transvestite and wanted to be comfortable.CmdrTaco swung the van around and before long two other friends of his got in the van one was very young,michael and one was a large fat man named Cowbow Neal.CmdrTaco pulled the van over to the side of the road and asked me to come up front. As I moved up front the guys pinched my ass and fondled my tits. CmdrTaco whispered to me "How would you like to have your fantasy fulfilled while I ride around town.Wow I thought that it would be fun getting fucked by four guys while driving around town. As I made my way to the back of the van all the guys already had their dicks out and were stroking themselves. I took Cowbow Neal, the fat guys cock, into my mouth first. It was thick and long. I could only get the head in at first so I slowly moved my tounge up and down the shaft and slowly but surley took his cock deep into my throat.While I was deep throating Cowbow Neal timothy was poking me in the ass with his little pick. I was loosened up from CmdrTaco just an hour before so I took him in with no trouble.The other guys just kept stroking themselves while I was getting fucked at both ends. Cowbow Neal started to strain and I could feel him tense up. He pulled out and shot his load in my mouth and all over my face. It was a really big load. All the guys cheered. I had strings of cum dangleing from my chin and a mouth full of cum, I looked Cowbow Neal directly in the eyes as I started to chew the cum in my mouth, swallowed and licked my lips. "We got us a cum loving whore here boys," shouted Cowbow Neal. One by one they fucked me in the ass and came around front to finish off with a shot of cum in my mouth. I swallowed so much cum that it filled me up like a full meal. It was very erotic being fucked while driving around town.When I finished off timothy I moved over to Cowbow Neals tree trunk like cock and stroked him until he was hard again. While he sat down I impaled myself on his rigid member. It felt like being fucked with a coke can he was so large. After a while I loosed up and he got into a rythm. I felt like a rag doll going up and down on his pole when we hit high spots in the road I got an extra hump. It felt like he was fucking me up to my sCmdrTacoach.When he started to cum I felt the warm spurts of cum wash my insides like a hose gone wild. I climaxed also. I stayed impaled on his dick until he went soft again then I let all the boys fuck me in the ass again until they came. This went on for three hours and I was exhausted. I was also drenched in dried sticky cum that was in my hair and on my dress.My make up had worn off many blow jobs ago. I asked CmdrTaco to bring me home and he said we were just getting started. I began to worry. It had been great fun up til now but enough was enough and I was pooped. We pulled into a shopping mall parking lot and all the guys got out. CmdrTaco said he would be right back. I couldn't go anywhere as I can't pass in public and my clothes were a mess. CmdrTaco returned an hour later with some new clothes and fresh make up. He bought me hot pants, a halter top and fresh make up that looked whorey. He said we were going to a club and I would look great. I put on the get up he bought and climbed into the front seat. My ass was so sore from the pounding it had taken and so was my mouth. Cowbow Neal had streched both with his pole. I asked where we were going and CmdrTaco said a place that Cowbow Neal mentioned, in fact it was his hangout. CmdrTaco backed the van up to the back door of the club and I got out. I wasn't too steady on my feet and needed CmdrTaco to help support me. We walked in the back door and to my surprise there were about ten back guys all lined up along a hallway leading to a room. These were all big guys and some were stroking their cocks which were enormous. As we moved passed them toward the room off the hallway I heard them say I was the white transvestite whore Cowbow Neal found. Inside the room was a couch and some chairs. There were two guys with cameras and video equipment. I got the idea pretty fast. The guys in the hallway were for me and the whole thing was going to be photographed. I was scared. CmdrTaco started off by pulling my pants down and smacking my ass. He then pulled his cock out and stuck it in my mouth. My lipstick was making marks on his cock as it went in and out. CmdrTaco grunted and spewed his load in my mouth and on my face. All he said was "next". The next one is was a fat guy with the largest penis head I've ever seen. It couldn't fit in my mouth.I licked and jacked him off as best I could be he was getting tired of my gaging. He told me to get on my knees and to raise my ass up. I did as I was told. He pushed that huge rod into my ass in one thrust. It knocked me onto my chest he did it so hard. I was in pain. He told me to shut up and enjoy it. Another of the group lifted my head up and stuck his penis in my mouth. He came quickly but it was so much that I spit it up. The guy fucking me said I'd have to swallow all of his without spilling one drop or he would kill me. When he was ready he forced his cock down my throat and shot his load. I made sure not to miss a drop. I cleaned his cock and was now so loose that another large cock wouldn't matter. The guys lined up and one by one fucked my tired asshole and shot their spunk into my mouth. I swallowed all their cum and didn't loose a drop. When they were done with me I collapsed on the couch and fell fast asleep. Upon awaking several hours later I was all alone. I staggered out of the club which had closed hours ago and onto the street. I flaged a taxi and begged him to take me home. The taxi driver helped me up to the dorm and put me onto my couch. I threw up in the bathroom and it was all sperm. I must have swallowed a quart of cum that night. My ass was so streched out that I just sat and the shit mixed with sperm fell out. I was exhausted. CmdrTaco and Cowbow Neal came over to see how I was later that night. They asked if I had a good time and I told them surprisingly yes but I wouldn't want to do that many guys again.
ceci n'est pas une post
"I've never done that before, will it hurt?" she asked, sleepy eyed. We hadn't seen each other in over a month, we'd
been kissing and had shed most of our clothes. The atmosphere was heavy with lust, it seemed like a good time to
ask.
"I don't know, beautiful, I've never done it either. If it does, we'll stop," I answered. I appraised her mood, then
added, "It might just be fantastic." She stared distantly at the bookshelves lining the walls of the living room as she
considered the sex act I had proposed. My erected cock attracted her scrutiny and a seductive smile touched her
lips. She drained her zinfandel and slipped off her lilac silk undies. Bingo.
He had left a phone message at my apartment asking me to pick him up at the heliport when I got home from work.
Over a bite to eat he'd told me happily that his idea had worked, the new platform was successfully online, and that
he had two weeks off. There was more. He'd showed me a two thousand dollar check payable to Gregory Wright:
moving expenses. He'd been offered a new position at the main office, a good one in engineering. He'd said he was
going to sell his house, and asked me to quit my job, move to Houston and live with him. I'd accepted at once.
At last, an end to the long, lonely separations and bittersweet satellite phone calls (he called them sexsats).
Soundbites of raising kids and dogs on a pleasant suburban street in Houston flickered briefly in my mind. But there
was no indication from him on how he felt about that. He liked my body, obviously, and in his methodical way he
was moving to secure access to it in the future. Was there anything else happening here? Well, there would be time
to reflect later.
When we'd gotten to his house he'd fired up the gas logs and I'd poured some drinks. We'd toasted to our future,
then he'd asked me very considerately for anal sex. It was the first time he had asked me for anything unusual, but I
wasn't surprised by it. He had hinted on several occasions about wanting to do more with my ass than just admire
it, but I had nervously laughed it off. I knew the idea fascinated him when rear entry gradually became his favorite
position for making love. So far, though, I had resisted anal because I was afraid it would be painful. I had an sudden
inclination to be obstinate and refuse again, in the face of this obviously engineered 'romantic' situation. But
perhaps it was time to change my mind. He wouldn't hurt me intentionally, I was certain of that. I looked at his ripe
dick, well proportioned, high and hard, and decided that his proposition stimulated me more than it frightened me.
Besides, didn't roommates share everything with each other?
"It's your lucky day, Wright. My ass is up for grabs," I teased. He laughed, threw a duvet over the big Queen Anne's
chair next to the fireplace, and sat down. I stood in front of him and turned away.
"Do you want to use a rubber?" he asked, quietly.
"I'm OK without it, if you are," I said.
"Then up against the rod and spread 'em, baby." he said, playfully. I showed myself to him unashamed, opening my
buttcheeks with my palms. He rubbed his hands over my inner thighs and through my crack. Then he spread my legs
outside of his, pulled me over him, put a generous drop of lubricant on his finger and touched my butthole. I
shivered. He held his dick up for me and I used the armrests to lower myself onto it. I was very turned on and when
the bulbous head began to penetrate me, the thought of what I was doing brought on a small orgasm. Warm liquid
trickled down one thigh. I took a moment to recover, then tried again.
"Wait, sweetheart," he said, then took his dick and slid it back and forth through my wet pussy lips.
She became exhilarated when my naked cock touched her sex, and she grabbed it with both hands and leaned
forward to sink her pussy onto me. I pulled her back. She whimpered, her legs shaking. She seemed to be building to
a climax already, or maybe just ending one. I repositioned her luscious backside over my cock, and she lowered
herself onto me.
"I don't know about this, you're awfully big," she said fearfully, pausing.
"It'll be fine," I assured her. I was hoping that if I got her quickly past the initial entry things would proceed smoothly
from there. So I held her firmly around the waist with my cock touching her butthole, wanting to make sure that she
didn't get startled and stand up. I flexed the muscles in my dick to harden it, then I lifted my pelvis and my wet
cockhead slid suddenly through the muscular resistance at her entrance.
She stiffened and sighed, "Fuck."
"Are you all right?" I asked her.
"I'm OK. Go slow." She shook her head and her short chestnut hair brushed my face. Her leg muscles trembled from
the effort of holding herself halfway up, and with her asshole clenched around the head of my organ, it provided an
interesting sensation, to say the least. I could smell the musky perfume wafting up from between her legs. Wow, this
was just about all the foreplay that I could handle.
He pulled down firmly on my hips, and eased himself inside me. I was very tight and he could not enter easily. I could
sense his urge to fuck me growing stronger now, and I knew he was resisting the desire to ram himself in. I didn't
think I could handle that. He sunk his shaft a little further and it was too much, too quickly.
"No! I can't!" I cried out.
He stopped immediately and whispered to me encouragingly, "Don't worry, babe, I won't hurt you. We'll go at your
speed now. Tell me if you need to rest."
"OK," I agreed. I usually take his advice in sexual matters, he's more experienced than I am. I relaxed a little, and I felt
myself open around his hardness. His dick is not extremely long, I can cover his shaft with both hands, but it's fairly
wide and his cockhead is as big around as an egg. I am petite and quite narrow in the hips. I knew what we were
doing was physically possible, some of my girlfriends told me they loved it, but I still had some reservations.
He spread some lube on the shaft of his dick, then sat completely still. I settled down on him slowly, a little at a time,
testing for uncomfortable feelings. As I engulfed his body with mine, the increasing pressure in my bowels made me
feel like I had to take a dump. I resisted what I guessed was an spurious impulse, given the circumstances. When
most of his shaft had been worked into me I froze and gulped at another unfamiliar sensation. I was feeling some
pressure at the expansion of my butthole, nothing serious, but I also felt something deeper inside that stirred a
forgotten memory. My body thrilled to the kind of adrenaline rush I hadn't felt since my first orgasm in elementary
school.
"Still OK?" he asked, concerned.
"Uh-huh," I affirmed. I realized suddenly that this wasn't going to hurt at all, it was fun actually. He was getting
what he wanted, and it was starting to feel pretty damn good to me too. A win-win situation. I became elated.
She hesitated and I thought she'd taken as much of me as she could. But somehow she knew to adjust the angle of
her hips and then abruptly sat down fully into my lap.
"We did it," she said brightly.
I smiled, "We sure did, honey. You're amazing." It was true. I don't think I could have done that. I've had prostate
exams and just a finger was lively enough for me.
This was a long held fantasy come true. Fantasies are a good thing when you're 20 miles offshore in the Gulf of
Mexico, surrounded by roughnecks for a month at a time. I admit that thinking about taking her in the ass had
inspired quite a few 'manual pressure reliefs' this past year. Her little tush sported beautiful third order curves that
jiggled pleasingly when she walked. I couldn't look at her in a skirt anymore without wanting to lift it up and fuck her
from behind, which I do regularly. Now I was really livin' in the tall cotton.
Our future looked bright. Holly and I had met through mutual friends on a dinner-dance cruise over in Galveston.
We had felt an instant attraction and we'd been seeing each other exclusively ever since. She was serious about her
career and worked long hours, so my lengthy absences didn't seem to overly upset her, as they had other women
I'd known. We trusted each other so much that we'd both had HIV tests and had recently stopped using condoms.
Yes, we were having a lot of fun together, but did she want a protracted relationship? I hoped so. She was smart,
funny, pretty, socially graceful. I liked her a lot.
I ended my reverie and took in the view. Her feet were off the carpet now and dangling against my shins. Her
thighs were on top of mine, her nicely rounded buttocks pressed tight and hot against my groin. All the tautness in
her body was gone, she seemed happy and relaxed. She leaned forward experimentally, and her perky little breasts
and delicate waist were so beautiful it hurt to look. My cock was steel pipe hard, shot straight up through her
asscheeks, penetrating her deeply. Her channel held me tightly like a pair of strong, velvet-gloved hands. Shit, my
hormones really kicked in now. My heartbeat speeded up and hot blood flushed into my cock as I had a sudden
mental picture of what this beautiful young woman and I were doing with each others bodies. She must have felt me
growing into her and I swear she mewed like a cat.
He put a finger on my clit. I knew he meant well, but I didn't want to come like that so I took his hands and cupped
them over my tits.
"On my boobs, if you don't mind," I said. He pulled me back to rest against him. I could feel his organ enlarging
inside me and my butthole was expanding quite a bit around its base. This was getting pretty intense.
He breathed into my hair, "Baby, you're beautiful."
I whispered back, "I feel your dick in my throat." He chuckled and ticked my nipples. I jumped.
"You bastard," I said, completing our little ritual. He squeezed his pubic muscles and moved his dick sensuously inside
my ass. His mouth began devouring the back of my neck, I trembled as his tongue wetly tasted me. His strong
hands rhythmically squeezed my breasts, sending gusts of pleasure through my body. God, this was much better
than I thought it would be.
I cursed in a husky voice and said, "You feel wonderful."
She put her hands on the chair arms and lifted herself up, but we were a little dry and my expanded organ now
locked us together quite tightly. Her upward movement painfully stretched the skin of my cock over its hard inner
core, like a condom. I tensed, and she sensed my discomfort and nestled her buttocks back down into my lap. Her
weight was fully on me, and it was obvious that we were not going to be moving much, so we just rested there for a
few moments. What do I do now? This wasn't at all what I had pictured anal intercourse to be. I had imagined her on
all fours, me kneeling behind deep stroking into her. Or possibly...
"Put your legs together," I ordered. His breathing rate was slowing, and I sensed that the lack of movement would
not be stimulating enough to get him off. This was unacceptable, but I thought I had a solution. I reached down to
gently lift his ball sack and allow him to bring his legs together. Then I brought mine together on top of his, trapping
his testicles comfortably in the hollow space between his legs and my bottom.
"That's friendlier," I said, satisfied. I knew that his balls were very sensitive, I could make him come by just holding his
shaft and playing with them. I moved my backside around on his crotch and felt his dick jump inside me. It was
working. Now I was really getting excited, I hadn't touched myself but I was close to coming. I thought he might be
too. Some sex talk, then, he liked that.
She reached under my thighs to get some leverage, and squirmed her ass around on my nuts. That felt interesting.
How did she know these things?
"I'm really stoked," she said suddenly, and pulled herself down, hard. My cock inched in a little further.
"What?" I said stupidly, taken by surprise.
"I want you to come inside my ass," she explained, completely unembarrassed.
"Why you saucy little tart," I chided. She rocked from side to side and spread her butt cheeks apart one at a time
with her fingers, molding herself more tightly onto my genitals. I was balls to the wall, now. The heat where our
bodies coupled was incredible.
She added quickly, "I'm ready, let's go." She rotated her bottom on me and bounced a little, really getting into it. We
both groaned. I put my face in her hair and my hands on her waist and hung on for the ride.
Suddenly she stopped moving and turned her head back, her voice like heavy cream, "Mmmmm, come inside me,
baby, I wanna feel you spurt. I'm gonna come all over your beautiful cock when you do. Everything's OK, just relax
and let go. It'll feel so good, babe, you know it will. It'll feel so good, so good." Fuck! I was speechless. This was
most fantastic sex I had ever experienced. I was so deeply inside this girl I could feel her pulse. Pre-orgasmic
contractions were chasing through my cock, now. I tried to calm myself so I could enjoy this a little longer, but I was
being galvanized by her words and the sensations her body was giving me.
As I wiggled my ass on him, a past experience came to mind, and I closed my eyes to visualize a handjob we had
once shared. I love this as much as he does because he shoots more sperm than anyone I have ever been with. I had
straddled his hips and stroked him off with baby oil while holding his organ straight up. He came hard, it was
fascinating to watch the fleshy head inflate to the bursting point with each squirt. His dick had swelled and jerked
powerfully in my grip and I had to hold on strongly to keep it upright. He'd shot long jets of come at least 5 inches
into the air. It flowed down over both of my hands, hot and slick. The thought of him coming like that inside my rear
end prompted a shiver of excited anticipation. It was going to be incredible.
She was a wildcat again, moaning and wriggling in my lap, actually waving her arms like she was dancing the dang
twist or something. And every bounce was kneading and squeezing my balls indescribably. The sounds of our
lovemaking, the scents of our bodies, the fleshy voluptuous feel of her, it was too much.
"Oh God, babe, here I go," I groaned. I closed my eyes as I lost control, and felt the muscles in my sex organs
tensing tighter and tighter until they spasmed. I heard her say something and felt her grab my balls. I hung on the
edge, motionless. The quivering continued for a moment, then the muscles fatigued, became still, and released with a
convulsive series of closely spaced, powerful contractions.
I sat bolt upright and stopped moving when I heard his warning, I wanted to feel everything. I said, "I love you,"
reached between my legs, took his nuts in both hands and squeezed. He groaned and began ejaculating hotly into
me, his hardness surging upward. As he discharged I felt a very pleasurable, luxurious warmth spreading higher and
higher into my abdomen. Contractions in my pussy synchronized with his injections, and my anus clenched excitingly
on his shaft. I felt a tingling in my whole body like I had struck my funny bone all over. This was heavenly.
I growled deep in my chest as I erupted into her, pumping gush after gush of hot sperm forcefully into her tight little
ass, the orgasmic pleasure of the rippling emission up through my swelling shaft unbearable, pulsing cockhead wide
open with paralyzing sensitivity, heart racing, lungs heaving, muscles straining, pelvis shuddering, I poured myself
out through my cock into her softness. My consciousness narrowed to breathing and fierce sexual pleasure,
everything else unimportant. I came back to my senses feeling the tight walls of her rectum ballooning away from my
cockhead as the pressure and volume of my injected semen increased. I heard her gasp each time I shot into her.
Finally, my contractions slowed as I emptied, but the waves of spasmodic pleasure continued as her sphincter
tightened rhythmically, milking my cock. I almost couldn't handle this, it was overwhelming. Then she fell back onto
my chest and climaxed.
I sat impaled on his orgasming cock and was shaken like an antelope in a lions grip. His hips bucked under my ass
and air escaped from my lungs in grunts. We were like animals. His body had become a tool of primeval male instinct,
uncontrollably pumping into me everything it could muster. I was bulging with his flesh and sperm, insatiably draining
him, completely receptive. It was unbelievably, deliciously sexy. I released his balls with one hand and two strokes
over my clit was all I needed. I plunged a finger into my pussy and arched my back strongly against him as I peaked,
groaning in delight at the unbearable ecstasy flooding through me. Overwhelmed by profound sexual release, my
whole body convulsed strongly over and over.
Her shivering orgasm was extremely passionate. Her spasms subsided and then started again, resulting in another
moaning climax. It was awe inspiring. She looked angelic. At last she relaxed on me, totally spent. We rested a little,
my shaft buried in her warmth as we caught our breath. I kissed her neck and tasted salt while I caressed her
breasts, my cock still spasming occasionally.
I wanted to try fucking now that we were lubricated. I put my feet on the floor on both sides of him and my hands
on his knees, and started moving my ass up and down over his shaft, a little farther each time, coating his cock with
semen. Soon I was slowly stroking along his full length. His dick felt liquid and silky inside me. It was good, different,
but good. He begged me to stop, explaining that he liked what I was doing but that post-orgasmic sensitivity made
it too intense.
"Maybe I'm too hot for you, old man," I wisecracked, and lifted myself off him to get some towels.
"I think I have better motion lotion at my place," she called from the guest bathroom, "we'll try that next time." She
walked toward me, her silhouette was breathtaking against the shifting firelight. "I wonder what they'll say at the
bank. Maybe I can get a transfer to..." She stopped when she saw my face.
"Holly, I have to ask you something." I said.
"Yes?" she replied, expectantly.
"Were you afraid?" She was quiet a long time, gazing at the fire. I thought I had accidentally insulted her.
She looked back and whispered, "Yes."
"That I would hurt you?"
"No," she said.
Thank God for that, "What, then?" I asked.
She made a face, "That I would fart." I laughed, and she tried to glare at me. I realized I'd made my decision. I stood
up and took her hand.
"I love you, Mrs. Wright," I said, looking into her eyes. Her smile started, wavered. I nodded. We stood there for a
long time, grinning at each other like idiots.
It all started after I had met CmdrTaco in an internet chat room. This was before he
got all famous with slasdot and because ashamed of his sexuality. I invited him to
my dorm for a drink and some fun.I shaved my legs, arm pits and asshole.
Put on my sexiest outfit and makeup. CmdrTaco arrived on time and looked very hot to
me. He came over to the couch and I provided the proper licking and sucking to
get him rock hard. He then entered me doggie style and we had a good hard fuck
until he came deep into my ass. We were both satisfied. CmdrTaco suggested that I
get dressed in my best dress and makeup and that we go out. I told him that I
wasn't passable and he assured me that it wouldnt be a problem where we were
going. He also asked me if I'd ever had a fantasy of doing more than one guy at
a time. I said I had and would be up for it. I was really hot for the idea. CmdrTaco
kissed me goodbye and said he would return in an hour with his van.I took a
nice hot shower and put on my slinkiest dress and did my face up quite
attractivley. I still wasn't passable but it was dark now and if we were just
going for a ride I'd be ok. CmdrTaco pulled up exactly when he promised and I
quickly made my way to the van. He laughed that I was in a big hurry. I was
concerned that the neighbors wouldn't see me dressed. When I got in the van CmdrTaco
gave me a passionate kiss and took off around the corner. He said he had to
give his friend timothy a ride to workand would I mind sitting in the back. The
back of the van was fitted out nicely with built in seats along the side.
timothy got in the van and we were introduced.CmdrTaco said "this was the girl I was
telling you about on the phone". timothy said hello and climbed in the back with
me. At first I thought it was strange but then I thought he was interested in
talking to a transvestite and wanted to be comfortable.CmdrTaco swung the van around
and before long two other friends of his got in the van one was very
young,michael and one was a large fat man named Cowbow Neal.CmdrTaco pulled the van over
to the side of the road and asked me to come up front. As I moved up front the
guys pinched my ass and fondled my tits. CmdrTaco whispered to me "How would you
like to have your fantasy fulfilled while I ride around town.Wow I thought that
it would be fun getting fucked by four guys while driving around town. As I
made my way to the back of the van all the guys already had their dicks out and
were stroking themselves. I took Cowbow Neal, the fat guys cock, into my mouth
first. It was thick and long. I could only get the head in at first so I slowly
moved my tounge up and down the shaft and slowly but surley took his cock deep
into my throat.While I was deep throating Cowbow Neal timothy was poking me in the
ass with his little pick. I was loosened up from CmdrTaco just an hour before so I
took him in with no trouble.The other guys just kept stroking themselves while
I was getting fucked at both ends. Cowbow Neal started to strain and I could feel
him tense up. He pulled out and shot his load in my mouth and all over my face.
It was a really big load. All the guys cheered. I had strings of cum dangleing
from my chin and a mouth full of cum, I looked Cowbow Neal directly in the eyes as I
started to chew the cum in my mouth, swallowed and licked my lips. "We got us a
cum loving whore here boys," shouted Cowbow Neal. One by one they fucked me in the
ass and came around front to finish off with a shot of cum in my mouth. I
swallowed so much cum that it filled me up like a full meal. It was very erotic
being fucked while driving around town.When I finished off timothy I moved over
to Cowbow Neals tree trunk like cock and stroked him until he was hard again. While
he sat down I impaled myself on his rigid member. It felt like being fucked
with a coke can he was so large. After a while I loosed up and he got into a
rythm. I felt like a rag doll going up and down on his pole when we hit high
spots in the road I got an extra hump. It felt like he was fucking me up to my
sCmdrTacoach.When he started to cum I felt the warm spurts of cum wash my insides
like a hose gone wild. I climaxed also. I stayed impaled on his dick until he
went soft again then I let all the boys fuck me in the ass again until they
came. This went on for three hours and I was exhausted. I was also drenched in
dried sticky cum that was in my hair and on my dress.My make up had worn off
many blow jobs ago. I asked CmdrTaco to bring me home and he said we were just
getting started. I began to worry. It had been great fun up til now but enough
was enough and I was pooped. We pulled into a shopping mall parking lot and all
the guys got out. CmdrTaco said he would be right back. I couldn't go anywhere as I
can't pass in public and my clothes were a mess. CmdrTaco returned an hour later
with some new clothes and fresh make up. He bought me hot pants, a halter top
and fresh make up that looked whorey. He said we were going to a club and I
would look great. I put on the get up he bought and climbed into the front
seat. My ass was so sore from the pounding it had taken and so was my mouth.
Cowbow Neal had streched both with his pole. I asked where we were going and CmdrTaco
said a place that Cowbow Neal mentioned, in fact it was his hangout. CmdrTaco backed the
van up to the back door of the club and I got out. I wasn't too steady on my
feet and needed CmdrTaco to help support me. We walked in the back door and to my
surprise there were about ten back guys all lined up along a hallway leading to
a room. These were all big guys and some were stroking their cocks which were
enormous. As we moved passed them toward the room off the hallway I heard them
say I was the white transvestite whore Cowbow Neal found. Inside the room was a
couch and some chairs. There were two guys with cameras and video equipment. I
got the idea pretty fast. The guys in the hallway were for me and the whole
thing was going to be photographed. I was scared. CmdrTaco started off by pulling my
pants down and smacking my ass. He then pulled his cock out and stuck it in my
mouth. My lipstick was making marks on his cock as it went in and out. CmdrTaco
grunted and spewed his load in my mouth and on my face. All he said was "next".
The next one is was a fat guy with the largest penis head I've ever seen. It
couldn't fit in my mouth.I licked and jacked him off as best I could be he was
getting tired of my gaging. He told me to get on my knees and to raise my ass
up. I did as I was told. He pushed that huge rod into my ass in one thrust. It
knocked me onto my chest he did it so hard. I was in pain. He told me to shut
up and enjoy it. Another of the group lifted my head up and stuck his penis in
my mouth. He came quickly but it was so much that I spit it up. The guy fucking
me said I'd have to swallow all of his without spilling one drop or he would
kill me. When he was ready he forced his cock down my throat and shot his load.
I made sure not to miss a drop. I cleaned his cock and was now so loose that
another large cock wouldn't matter. The guys lined up and one by one fucked my
tired asshole and shot their spunk into my mouth. I swallowed all their cum and
didn't loose a drop. When they were done with me I collapsed on the couch and
fell fast asleep. Upon awaking several hours later I was all alone. I staggered
out of the club which had closed hours ago and onto the street. I flaged a taxi
and begged him to take me home. The taxi driver helped me up to the dorm
and put me onto my couch. I threw up in the bathroom and it was all sperm. I
must have swallowed a quart of cum that night. My ass was so streched out that
I just sat and the shit mixed with sperm fell out. I was exhausted. CmdrTaco and
Cowbow Neal came over to see how I was later that night. They asked if I had a good
time and I told them surprisingly yes but I wouldn't want to do that many guys
again.
2. Turn this mutha out
NATURE'S HARMONIC
SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY
TIME CUBE
USA is a jew nation, based
on jew bible and a jew god. God belief is a deadly virus
inflicting cannibalistic end
of educated stupid humans. YOU DO NOT EXIST, for
you are never more than a 1/4 or 1 of 4-different lives
during life metamorphosis. I think Cubic, I am wisest.
You think self, you are evil. Word does not even exist -
except thru evil humans as counterfeit, fiction and lie.
YOU Live Under A Curse. Where did your mind go -
as you are educated evil? Educators are cornered as
evil god of fictitious word. Your Professors are Liars,
and fear Time Cube Cubicism bans monodeity.
Linear Time is an 'evil lie'.
Check out my journal for a frustrated Windows user's view on what Linux needs to compete with Windows on a large scale.
Slashdot is a waste of time. I enjoy wasting time.
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*SRU
Hola dees eez Juan Sanchez an I pro-nounce 'Linux' Lee-nooks.
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
/anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com], spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.cx] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com], which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com]!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.cx] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org]. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.cx] terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.cx]lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.cx] preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis [rotten.com], glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.cx] 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net] automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com]' originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.cx] practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.cx] who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org].
The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have homosexual [goatse.cx] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs on Apache!
The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.cx] activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net]-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.cx] child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org], Slashdot
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator [hitler.org].
ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com].
Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org], Slashdot
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org]. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man [stilproject.com] . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org], Slashdot
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it contains hidden homosexual [goatse.cx] messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.cx] queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org], Slashdot
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.cx] Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord [atheism.org]'s work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org]. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman [geocities.com].
Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
What the fuck?
I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Well bugger me!
ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain [icopyright.com]. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com], but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual [goatse.cx] practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [5u.com]by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
Ah, but i LIKE the default linux installation wizard.
./configure
make
make install
simple
If Mr. Edison had thought smarter he wouldn't sweat as much. --Nikola Tesla
Har! There be no parrot on me poop deck, but I do be having a false eye.