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Open Meta Tools Make It Big
Morgahastu writes "Byte.com has a great article about open meta tools and open software in general: "After more than 10 years of open-software development in the scientific community, open software now holds a preeminent place in the operation of the computing community. The three products I have written about simply scratch the surface of the powerful tools available. OpenLDAP and OAI both enable a wide variety of sharing and automated access.""
Anal intercourse for Linux fans
Linux Buttsex HOWTO
by Anal Cocks
Version 1.0.1, 2nd June 1998
Introduction
This HOWTO explains how to perform Buttsex in the Linux Operating System w/Enterprise Resources (LOSER). This HOWTO assumes basic knowledge of general Linux operation.
Preparation
Most basically, all Linux Buttsex requires is a machine running the Linux Operating System, a penis (also referred to as a "cock" or "dick"), and a willing friend. However, you benefit greatly, especially when starting out, if you possess standard Buttsex tools.
Standard Buttsex Tools
Lubricant - Slippery stuff you smear on your johnson and your friend's manpussy, to ease the transition into Buttsex mode. Vaseline will do in a pinch, but water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly and Astroglide are preferable.
Contraception - Protective barrier between your schlong and the inside of your friend's love canal. Breeders use them to prevent pregnancy, but we queer nancies usually use them to protect ourselves from the deadly AIDS virus. While some enterprising faggots have made do with plastic wrap or masking tape, there is no substitute for a latex condom. Most all condoms will do, as long as they aren't the "extra-thin" type. Some condoms are labeled as being superior for Buttsex, but are not necessary.
Step One -- Prepare the Anus
This step is especially important if your friend has never taken a willie in the ass before. Prepare his anus for the width and girth of your manhood with the "finger" command. It is used like so:
% finger [insert your friend's name here]
Begin with your index or middle finger, and then both middle AND index fingers, at the same time. Ten to fifteen minutes should do. If you wish, you may fellate him or suck his balls, while you're fingering him.
Step Two -- Entry
Here the fun starts. Have your friend lay prone on the bed, or even better, get down "on all fours". Optionally, place a couple of pillows beneath him to make him more comfortable. Now position yourself behind him, and spread his asscheeks. Apply lubricant, generously, to both your sexrod, and his pit of pleasure. It is advisable to stick your fingers partially inside his anus, to make sure that the entire edge of the entry is covered.
Your penis must be fully erect in order to make a sucessful entry. If you are not already "hard as a rock", you may rub your penis in his asscrack, while tweaking his nipples ( or stroking his cock), and saying intimidating things, such as "I am going to make you squeal like a pig, boy. Squeal, like a pig! ".
When your sexstick is sufficiently engorged with blood, it is time to begin entry. Place the head of your cock firmly agains t his brown anal starfish. Begin applying firm pressure forwards, optionally using your hand to guide your dick on a true course into sodomy. Your friend is most likely moaning in agony or yelping, and you may either ignore this, or in a snide tone, say "You like that, bitch?".
When your penis is in, move on to the next step.
Step Three -- Hardcore Assramming
This is fairly simple. Move your dick around in his ass, towards and then back, at varying speeds. If for some reason your dick pops out, put it back in, undaunted. Continue pumping and thrusting until you feel you are ready to move on to Step Four.
Step Four -- Orgasm
When ready to blow your load, use this command:
% stdout > ass
This redirects your standard output stream into your friend's pink tunnel of shit. Enter the command, then with one final thrust, placing the entire length of your cock inside his body. Your penis will then eject about a quart of sticky white semen, accompanied by tremendous pleasure.
Step Five -- Cleanup
If you wore a condom, cleanup is simple. Remove the condom and toss it out your window. Then sop up any other jizz, anal juice, excrement, or lubricant with Brawny(R) brand paper towels.
If you did not wear a condom, your friend will have a steady drip of cum out of his ass for the next few hours. Tell him to "buck up" and stuff some toilet paper in h is underwear.
Afterward
Congratulations! You are now a l337 LUN1X 4$$r4mm3r, just like Linux Toreballs and his gay minions! Celebrate by masturbating to the sensual gay erotica found at http://goatse.cx
Another fine day for the /. trolls
"If anyone needs me, I'm in the angry dome."
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Horror/Sci Fi writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon. He will be missed :(
Yeah, I remember when I used to get this at home a few years back.
I subscribed for 7 fucking years, and 2 months into my last subscription, what do I get?
A card saying they aren't printing Byte anymore, and they gave me a couple issues of some half ass "home-office computer" magazine.
CMP won't ever see any of my money again.
This FAQ is designed to give tips on trolling on Slashdot, created in celebration of Blackout Week. It is dedicated to all hard-working trolls and crapflooders.
What are some good trolling tips?
Trolling is all about making people think you care, and so winding up those who care for real. Think of it like shooting a deer in front of an anti-hunt protester, or eating a Big Mac in front of a vegan. Here are some ideas for making your troll work:
How do I crapflood?
A crapflood is an (intentionally) content-free post. Here are some suggestions for the source of your crapflood -- remember to take care with repetition, odd characters, or repetition, to get past the lameness filter:
How do I widen pages?
A method is known and delivered to us by the beautiful Klerck which currently works in Internet Explorer alone. This will therefore ruin the browsing experience of by far the majority of Slashdot readers. Start with the text:
http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabc /
then repeat /ooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdk /
several times, remembering to avoid the compression filter trap by using different random characters.How do I karma whore?
"Karma whoring" is the practice of gaining moderation points for their own sake. It is particularly useful in techniques for defeating the moderation system. Some tips for karma whoring are:
How do I defeat the moderation system?
The moderation system is far from flawless. Here are some ways to devalue it:
How do I defeat authentication?
Don't. The FBI will arrest you for being a terrorist. Instead, make an authoritative nick like CmdrTaco (editor). The majority of people are easily fooled, and will be likely to take notice of and respond to your post, and even moderate it up. Think of it like Lunix Turvalds walking into the room -- people listen to what he has to say, and don't dare disagree.
How do I defeat the goatse link early warning system?
Simple -- use one of the many foolishly implemented redirector URLs hosted on well-known sites. Here's an innocuous recent example which pretends to link to the highly informative about.com, but in fact links to a site of the popular 90's lesbian band The Spice Girls: Informative link which will get me karma
What are some excellent sites to sneakily link to?
Mostly, you should link to gay porn. If you are reading this FAQ, you already know the URLs, so I don't need to supply them, except to say that it's almost an initiation ceremony in Slashdot trolling to link to goatse.
Administrativa
How do I justify the existence of this FAQ?
Slashdot is full of people who support unlicensed weapons ownership and dissemination of bomb creation documents -- in short, they support freedom, even when that freedom could cause harm. This document should be considered as that very freedom in action. Indeed, to disparage or moderate down this document would be un-American, and the FBI are likely to arrest you for being a terrorist.
How do I add to or change this FAQ?
Simply re-post the FAQ on Slashdot, adding an appropriate question, and incrementing the version number by 1. Before doing so, please try to ensure you have the latest version, and remember to keep this post W3C compliant!
How else can I help with the Troll and Crapflooding Cause?
Moderate this post up, re-post it, put it in your journal, and upload it on your website. Thanks!
Since I'm one of the first 100 people to reply to this story, this post should be modded up....
:-) Thanks
Thats how it works around here right ?
Beautiful, gimme a nice +5
April 22, 2002 -- For some, the word grits is an all too descriptive name for a dish whose main feature might be unfavorably remembered as coarsely ground pieces of dried corn moistened into a mealy paste.
Not much more gastronomical romance is added by the theory that the name comes from grist, as in grist mill, or from grytte -- a Middle English word meaning coarse, or coarsely ground. But among those in the know, grits are a notable ingredient in America's culinary melting pot.
For Morning Edition, NPR's Linda Wertheimer reports on the history of the dish. As part of Present at the Creation, she visited some of the tables where humble grits hold a mythic stature.
The myth has some basis in reality. Grits have played a central role in sustaining American families. In 1607, as British adventurers stepped off the boats in what would later become Jamestown, Va., grits were a likely offering on the first dinner tables.
Historian John Egerton says that in addition to the pigs that these travelers brought along with them, grits became an important part of early Southern agriculture.
"Both of them are good for this region because they will grow anywhere," he notes. "They're economical foods and so they serve the poor and the rich alike."
Visitors to Miss Mary Bobo's Boarding House in Lynchburg, Tenn., can get a taste of some of the developments in grits preparation over the past few centuries. The folks at the restaurant are aware of the role the dish has played in the survival of the region.
"Historically, I think grits got the South through the Depression," says Lynne Tolley, the hostess at Miss Mary Bobo's. "Because if it hadn't been for grits... they wouldn't have had anything to eat."
The versatility and hardiness of the dish carries over into its preparation: grits are simple enough that kids can make them from scratch, as Bernie Billingsley, another patron of Miss Mary Bobo's, attests.
"It seems to me that when I was a kid we would make our own grits," he remembers. "Take the corn, put it in a big kettle, and boil it and I believe we put some lye in it to make the hominy. And then we drained that and put it in a grinder."
Multiply that process a few hundred times and you probably still don't come close to the quantity of grits churned out at Falls Mill in Belvidere, Tenn. Wertheimer reports that the mill, powered by a three-story waterwheel, is a massive barn-like building where corn is fed from an upstairs bin down through the millstones. According to mill owner John Lovett, the stones are set slightly wider apart for grits, producing the course texture.
Grits might come out of the mill looking ordinary -- like tiny white pebbles -- but they can be dressed up almost any way imaginable. From grits with butter and salt or a little bit of sugar, to the Garlic Cheese Grits served at Miss Mary Bobo's (not to mention dinner tables across the South), to the squid stuffed with tasso ham and served up on grits by chef Peter Smith of Washington, D.C.'s Vidalia Restaurant, the Southern staple has a versatility that begs for experimentation.
So whether they're the instant, just-add-boiling water version from supermarket shelves or the new fashion in chic cuisine, grits have been a part of American meals for 400 years, and they don't appear to be leaving the table anytime soon.
Grits According to Linda
NPR's Linda Wertheimer -- a self-described "major consumer of grits" -- lists the following among her favorite cookbooks for grits recipes:
Charleston Receipts: Collected by the Junior League of Charleston. First published in 1950, this cookbook still is available from the Junior League of Charleston, S.C.
Bill Neal's Southern Cooking (University of North Carolina Press, 1985). Wertheimer swears by the recipe for Basic Boiled Grits.
Lee Bailey's Country Weekends: Recipes for Good Food and Easy Living, by Lee Bailey (Clarkson Potter, May 1983). "A book I really really love," Wertheimer says; worth finding used or at the library, as it's out of print.
When will people learn? This should be moderated "Offtopic", NOT "Troll".
Cmon moderators, get a life!
The goatse man can fly!
Thx sir. I'll paste this into my troll collection.
STFU you asslicking cockwads
The Matrix....company Neo worked for...
And the 9 meta actions of doing anything.
Matrix Squared
Mass Squared
Mass Cubed
On a less meta-phorical note:
usenet posts from google Just call me Neo...
see lower part of page
These really are the primary set of meta action constants.
Who knows, maybe this will liven up this article responses...oh yeah, there is also my journal here in slashdot to consider.