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Open Meta Tools Make It Big
Morgahastu writes "Byte.com has a great article about open meta tools and open software in general: "After more than 10 years of open-software development in the scientific community, open software now holds a preeminent place in the operation of the computing community. The three products I have written about simply scratch the surface of the powerful tools available. OpenLDAP and OAI both enable a wide variety of sharing and automated access.""
Film at 11.
Goatse.cx!
Anal intercourse for Linux fans
Linux Buttsex HOWTO
by Anal Cocks
Version 1.0.1, 2nd June 1998
Introduction
This HOWTO explains how to perform Buttsex in the Linux Operating System w/Enterprise Resources (LOSER). This HOWTO assumes basic knowledge of general Linux operation.
Preparation
Most basically, all Linux Buttsex requires is a machine running the Linux Operating System, a penis (also referred to as a "cock" or "dick"), and a willing friend. However, you benefit greatly, especially when starting out, if you possess standard Buttsex tools.
Standard Buttsex Tools
Lubricant - Slippery stuff you smear on your johnson and your friend's manpussy, to ease the transition into Buttsex mode. Vaseline will do in a pinch, but water-based lubricants such as KY Jelly and Astroglide are preferable.
Contraception - Protective barrier between your schlong and the inside of your friend's love canal. Breeders use them to prevent pregnancy, but we queer nancies usually use them to protect ourselves from the deadly AIDS virus. While some enterprising faggots have made do with plastic wrap or masking tape, there is no substitute for a latex condom. Most all condoms will do, as long as they aren't the "extra-thin" type. Some condoms are labeled as being superior for Buttsex, but are not necessary.
Step One -- Prepare the Anus
This step is especially important if your friend has never taken a willie in the ass before. Prepare his anus for the width and girth of your manhood with the "finger" command. It is used like so:
% finger [insert your friend's name here]
Begin with your index or middle finger, and then both middle AND index fingers, at the same time. Ten to fifteen minutes should do. If you wish, you may fellate him or suck his balls, while you're fingering him.
Step Two -- Entry
Here the fun starts. Have your friend lay prone on the bed, or even better, get down "on all fours". Optionally, place a couple of pillows beneath him to make him more comfortable. Now position yourself behind him, and spread his asscheeks. Apply lubricant, generously, to both your sexrod, and his pit of pleasure. It is advisable to stick your fingers partially inside his anus, to make sure that the entire edge of the entry is covered.
Your penis must be fully erect in order to make a sucessful entry. If you are not already "hard as a rock", you may rub your penis in his asscrack, while tweaking his nipples ( or stroking his cock), and saying intimidating things, such as "I am going to make you squeal like a pig, boy. Squeal, like a pig! ".
When your sexstick is sufficiently engorged with blood, it is time to begin entry. Place the head of your cock firmly agains t his brown anal starfish. Begin applying firm pressure forwards, optionally using your hand to guide your dick on a true course into sodomy. Your friend is most likely moaning in agony or yelping, and you may either ignore this, or in a snide tone, say "You like that, bitch?".
When your penis is in, move on to the next step.
Step Three -- Hardcore Assramming
This is fairly simple. Move your dick around in his ass, towards and then back, at varying speeds. If for some reason your dick pops out, put it back in, undaunted. Continue pumping and thrusting until you feel you are ready to move on to Step Four.
Step Four -- Orgasm
When ready to blow your load, use this command:
% stdout > ass
This redirects your standard output stream into your friend's pink tunnel of shit. Enter the command, then with one final thrust, placing the entire length of your cock inside his body. Your penis will then eject about a quart of sticky white semen, accompanied by tremendous pleasure.
Step Five -- Cleanup
If you wore a condom, cleanup is simple. Remove the condom and toss it out your window. Then sop up any other jizz, anal juice, excrement, or lubricant with Brawny(R) brand paper towels.
If you did not wear a condom, your friend will have a steady drip of cum out of his ass for the next few hours. Tell him to "buck up" and stuff some toilet paper in h is underwear.
Afterward
Congratulations! You are now a l337 LUN1X 4$$r4mm3r, just like Linux Toreballs and his gay minions! Celebrate by masturbating to the sensual gay erotica found at http://goatse.cx
Another fine day for the /. trolls
"If anyone needs me, I'm in the angry dome."
I was going to post this anonymously, but I really need the karma;
. html). This demonstration of the integration of a weather service was implemented and exposed on XMethods.com, which has an extensive list of remotely accessible services and their type, function, and implementation.
Open Meta Tools
By Bill Nicholls
February 25, 2002
I've been writing about metaclass systems for some time now; see Meta Clusters in the Wild, Meta Clusters; OS Updates, and Digital Libraries in the Large.
"Meta" is often used as a prefix to other words, such as metadata, which means higher level data, or data about data. Analogously, metatools are tools that control tools. This hierarchy may be extended beyond two levels. Meta Tools (MT) are tools that enable use and control of resources. This implies that an MT is logically a higher level function than the resources themselves.
In this column, I use the term Meta Tools to define a class of tools that enable the use of complex distributed resources. These individual resources may themselves be complex entities that use a different set of tools to control their own components.
I'll start with an open implementation of the Lightweight Directory Access Protocol (OpenLDAP). This provides an interface to a database of information about people and resources, defining permissions and access from one to the other. Its use is not limited solely to that application.
Next will be the Open Archive Initiative (OAI), which defines an interface for harvesting metadata from an archive, usually containing published scientific papers. It too is not limited to that one specific application.
Finally I'll explore some of the capabilities of the Globus Toolkit (GT), which is a set of tools that allows a collection of distributed computer systems to be operated as a single resource. Each of these systems may span multiple different computers and storage in a local network.
Open LDAP
LDAP is a lightweight open protocol for accessing information resources. It is an alternative to the X.500 Directory Access Protocol (DAP) for use on the Internet. It uses the TCP/IP protocol rather than the complex OSI protocol.
OpenLDAP treats a directory as a database rather than a rigidly defined set of names and pointers to files. The information in this database is usually related to people and their permissions to use resources defined there. However, this is not the limit of its application.
Staying within the broad definition of resource directory, resources for computers as well as people can be defined. This could also be used as a powerful library card file replacement, where books and other types of information sources could be defined, and access enabled through the powerful search functions.
OpenLDAP is designed to be used in a global environment. It has replication capabilities to distribute information that was entered locally, and can access information from other LDAP servers. A combination of OpenLDAP and UDDI could be used to create a directory of computer services that can be discovered and used by computer agents, enabling completely automated operation.
Open LDAP can be found at http://www.openldap.org/. The current release of OpenLDAP is 2.0.22. Downloads of the LDAP server, replicator, and libraries, including Java Class libraries contributed by Novell, are available at that site.
Version 3 of LDAP is a "Proposed Standard" and is documented by the following RFCs:
RFC2251: Lightweight Directory Access Protocol (v3)
RFC2252: LDAPv3: Attribute Syntax Definitions
RFC2253: LDAPv3: UTF-8 String Representation of Distinguished Names
RFC2254: The String Representation of LDAP Search Filters
RFC2255: The LDAP URL Format
RFC2256: A Summary of the X.500(96) User Schema for use with LDAPv3
RFC2829: Authentication Methods for LDAP
RFC2830: LDAPv3: Extension for Transport Layer Security
Copies of these RFCs are available at http://www.rfc-editor.org/. Version 3 of the standard is currently being revised for publication as a "Draft Standard," and will replace the current V2.
In essence, OpenLDAP is a powerful enabler of services, starting with its own service of search and replication. It could replace the function of DNS (Domain Name Service), though the overhead of a general-purpose DNS directory would be larger than a special-purpose DNS server. The big difference is that OpenLDAP is not limited to one function, and can be easily extended without forcing a complete software upgrade.
Its uses are only bounded by our imagination.
Metadata Is Not Enough
The Open Archives Initiative is an organization that is developing tools to enable metadata harvesting with a standard interface. This means that search and directory tools can collect metadata from any OAI-compliant system for access by people or computers.
The initial release of OAI 1.0 was in early 2001. It was specifically planned as a prototype; the project developers wanted to gain experience for a year before beginning work on an enhanced version. Work on V2 has just been organized, but OAI has already achieved significant use and is a part of a number of tools that are freely available.
One of the original motivations for OAI was to solve a problem with scientific papers archived on the Web. The problems existed both for the users of the archive and the archive supporters, in that each group had to develop its own tools and metadata, and each user had to get or build tools to access that metadata.
Once there were more than a few archives, this would become so expensive as to prevent broad use of these new sources of information. People involved in the development of digital libraries discovered this early on and started the development of OAI. Here are some links to selected OAI web sites from members of the OAI community:
Cyclades Project -- an Open Collaborative Virtual Archive Environment funded by the European Union.
Kepler's Home Page -- self-contained software that allows the user to create and maintain a small OAI-compliant archive.
Open Archive Forum -- an EC-funded "accompanying measures" initiative, supporting projects interested in using an open archive approach to interoperability.
Virginia Tech Digital Library Research Lab Projects.
Open Language Archives Community -- a cross-archive searching service for the language community.
OAI is now used by many organizations, such as arXiv, which uses the software developed by eprints. Eprints software is currently used by many organizations -- a link list is on their site. Version two of eprints is now in alpha and is expected to be released shortly.
Kepler -- A Personal OAI Server
OAI is designed for large collections of peer-reviewed information, typically scientific papers. OAI can be used by individuals, but that was not its original purpose, and for that task it is unnecessarily complex.
In place of having to develop or adapt a full OAI server, a part of the Digital Library Group at Old Dominion University has developed an open-software implementation named Kepler. Kepler is a OAI-compliant package for individuals that is tested for Windows, Solaris, and Linux. It is written in Java and includes the tested Java run time.
One of the major issues that Kepler solves is the problem of unreliable access to the small archives they call "archivelets." An organization that handles OAI professionally can support high levels of uptime. The individuals and small organizations who are likely to use Kepler don't have the resources for sustained uptime. Kepler addresses this through an architecture designed to be robust in the face of unreliable access.
The installation instructions for Kepler are less than a page long. An article in D-Lib Magazine for April 2001 has a good overview of Kepler. This package should fit the "small community" model for shared access to published information while making part or all of it available more broadly.
Meta Computer Toolkit
The Globus Project has developed a toolkit needed to build computational grids (metacomputing). Grids are virtual environments, collections of computers with a common interface. This toolkit enables computer and information resources to be used from any location despite their being owned by organizations in geographically distributed locations.
The Globus Toolkit has just reached the first public beta of Version 2. Current support includes toolkits for Linux 2.x, IRIX 6.5, and Solaris 2.8. Along with the toolkit, the Globus Project has developed a specification for integrating grids and web services, called the Open Grid Services Architecture (OGSA). This new architecture will be the design goal for Version 3 of the GT.
A prototype of the OGSA toolkit was demonstrated on Jan 29, 2002 at Argonne National Laboratory during the Globus Toolkit tutorials (see http://www.globus.org/ogsa/deliverables/prototype
Grid Computing Research
If you're interested in research about Globus and the grid capability, the Globus Project has a list of technical papers that cover overviews of the Globus project and system; Globus toolkit components; higher level services and tools built on the Globus toolkit; applications; and other Globus-related research. Currently, over 75 papers are listed in PS and/or PDF formats, and range from The Physiology of the Grid: An Open Grid Services Architecture for Distributed Systems Integration to Enabling Technologies for Web-Based Ubiquitous Supercomputing.
Overview of the Toolkit
The new features in the Globus Toolkit 2.0 are centered around three core areas that provide the main functions. They are the Data Grid, the Metacomputing Directory Service (MDS), and the Globus Resource Allocation Manager (GRAM). The whole system has been enhanced by substantial packaging and installation enhancements.
The Globus Data Grid project is currently developing several core capabilities for data and communications. GridFTP is a high-performance, secure, robust data transfer mechanism; the Globus Replica Catalog is a mechanism for maintaining a catalog of dataset replicas; and Globus Replica Management is a mechanism that ties together the Replica Catalog and GridFTP technologies, allowing applications to create and manage replicas of large datasets.
The Metacomputing Directory Service (MDS) is the information services component of the Globus Toolkit. Major feature enhancements include the following:
High-performance GIIS and GRIS.
Revised resource representation model.
Support for GSI authentication and access control.
Integrated GRIS/GIIS server.
Newer versions of OpenLDAP and OpenSSL.
Support for the new Globus Toolkit 2.0 packaging model.
The Globus Resource Allocation Manager (GRAM) is the resource management component of the Globus Toolkit. The major feature change in GRAM 1.5 is the addition of new GRAM protocol and API features to support more robust job submission and management capabilities. The API specification is not yet available on the Web.
In addition to these areas of development, Globus has made installation and configuration substantially easier with a complete repackaging of the products. They have now enabled installation from binary or source, whole systems or selected parts, patches to track third-party software changes, and easier configuration. This enhanced packaging system for the Globus Toolkit provides easier installation for Grid builders, application developers, and end users.
It's an Open World
After more than 10 years of open-software development in the scientific community, open software now holds a preeminent place in the operation of the computing community. The three products I have written about simply scratch the surface of the powerful tools available. OpenLDAP and OAI both enable a wide variety of sharing and automated access.
The Globus Toolkit is a major accomplishment in integration of diverse systems into a virtual global supercomputer. While much has been accomplished, much remains to be done. The way ahead for Globus is pointed to by the Open Grid Services Architecture document.
As an observer of all this activity in the software space, I continue to be excited about the potential for our country and the world in the near future. We are approaching the capability to model the real world accurately, with benefits for everyone.
With specific reference to weather, we will be able to model storms, tornados, and hurricanes well enough to understand their structure in detail, and learn ways to steer their paths away from populated areas. For cancer and other illnesses, the development of models of the disease should lead to better understanding and treatment, possibly even cures.
The key to all of these breakthroughs is understanding. Computer models assist this process by processing data and images, testing theoretical models against reality, searching real data and models for ways to change them, and just by marshalling the intellectual effort needed to develop an accurate model.
I can't wait to see what develops next!
Does anybody know what metadata specifications the OAI uses or can use?
It would be neat if it used PRISM or SCORM. (Or both!)
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. - G.B. Shaw
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Horror/Sci Fi writer Stephen King was found dead in his Maine home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to popular culture. Truly an American icon. He will be missed :(
Yeah, I remember when I used to get this at home a few years back.
I subscribed for 7 fucking years, and 2 months into my last subscription, what do I get?
A card saying they aren't printing Byte anymore, and they gave me a couple issues of some half ass "home-office computer" magazine.
CMP won't ever see any of my money again.
This FAQ is designed to give tips on trolling on Slashdot, created in celebration of Blackout Week. It is dedicated to all hard-working trolls and crapflooders.
What are some good trolling tips?
Trolling is all about making people think you care, and so winding up those who care for real. Think of it like shooting a deer in front of an anti-hunt protester, or eating a Big Mac in front of a vegan. Here are some ideas for making your troll work:
How do I crapflood?
A crapflood is an (intentionally) content-free post. Here are some suggestions for the source of your crapflood -- remember to take care with repetition, odd characters, or repetition, to get past the lameness filter:
How do I widen pages?
A method is known and delivered to us by the beautiful Klerck which currently works in Internet Explorer alone. This will therefore ruin the browsing experience of by far the majority of Slashdot readers. Start with the text:
http://www.eveeieyhfgfcdoosammgwsnboivvbsczxlzgabc /
then repeat /ooieiabdcdjsvbkeldfogjhiyeeejkagclmieooionoepdk /
several times, remembering to avoid the compression filter trap by using different random characters.How do I karma whore?
"Karma whoring" is the practice of gaining moderation points for their own sake. It is particularly useful in techniques for defeating the moderation system. Some tips for karma whoring are:
How do I defeat the moderation system?
The moderation system is far from flawless. Here are some ways to devalue it:
How do I defeat authentication?
Don't. The FBI will arrest you for being a terrorist. Instead, make an authoritative nick like CmdrTaco (editor). The majority of people are easily fooled, and will be likely to take notice of and respond to your post, and even moderate it up. Think of it like Lunix Turvalds walking into the room -- people listen to what he has to say, and don't dare disagree.
How do I defeat the goatse link early warning system?
Simple -- use one of the many foolishly implemented redirector URLs hosted on well-known sites. Here's an innocuous recent example which pretends to link to the highly informative about.com, but in fact links to a site of the popular 90's lesbian band The Spice Girls: Informative link which will get me karma
What are some excellent sites to sneakily link to?
Mostly, you should link to gay porn. If you are reading this FAQ, you already know the URLs, so I don't need to supply them, except to say that it's almost an initiation ceremony in Slashdot trolling to link to goatse.
Administrativa
How do I justify the existence of this FAQ?
Slashdot is full of people who support unlicensed weapons ownership and dissemination of bomb creation documents -- in short, they support freedom, even when that freedom could cause harm. This document should be considered as that very freedom in action. Indeed, to disparage or moderate down this document would be un-American, and the FBI are likely to arrest you for being a terrorist.
How do I add to or change this FAQ?
Simply re-post the FAQ on Slashdot, adding an appropriate question, and incrementing the version number by 1. Before doing so, please try to ensure you have the latest version, and remember to keep this post W3C compliant!
How else can I help with the Troll and Crapflooding Cause?
Moderate this post up, re-post it, put it in your journal, and upload it on your website. Thanks!
It's what opened up the goatsex man to a hole new world.
Use LDAP as a library card file? Perhaps you could, but that sounds like a classic database application to me. Powerful search functions? Like SQL?
Ne mæg werig mod wyrde wiðstondan, ne se hreo hyge helpe gefremman.
Linux: the hype is over
According to the latest Gartner group research report, the Linux hype is finally over. Research shows that market share of linux-driven production servers on the internet has finally declined to a single-digit number. The reasons for this are clear:
* Linux is very unstable
* Linux has a very unreliable filesystem
* Everybody uses Windows or BSD, nowadays
Research has clearly pointed out, that although there are still hordes of penguin-dressed geeks running around MIS departments, the management has grown wise and doesn't even allow Linux workstations anymore, since the costs in maintaining these machines turned out to be astronomically high. The reasons for this are clear as well.
* Installation is a pain in the ass and it usually takes a whole support team to install a geeks' workstation
* Installation and maintenance requires 4-5 times the bandwidth a 'normal' OS would require
* Linux was deliberately made completely incompatible and inoperable with turnkey solutions like MS Exchange or MS SQL server. Investments in these products are therefore voided the minute you start rolling out Linux.
* Web applications developed in Perl or C, the languages of the linux community have proven to be slow, unreliable and headaching complicated. Once developed and debugged, nobody is able to understand the code.
Therefore, it has been statistically proven that most companies have already moved away from Linux. All the 'geeks' wearing tux t-shirts re actually MIS support guys who are still studying for their MCSE exam. 'The screaming fast linux machines at work' are actually refurbished workstations at a separated network segment, not allowed on the production net since every linux (l)user seems to need nmap to perform normal work-related computer operations. All the 'cool' apache web servers are actually IIS machines with forged host headers. (yes, you can do that in IIS without recompiling anything. Heck, I lived for years without a C compiler and still do. ) And, for the rare instance where a free unix is actually used in a production environment, management has smartened up and BSD is usually installed.
Since I'm one of the first 100 people to reply to this story, this post should be modded up....
:-) Thanks
Thats how it works around here right ?
Beautiful, gimme a nice +5
April 22, 2002 -- For some, the word grits is an all too descriptive name for a dish whose main feature might be unfavorably remembered as coarsely ground pieces of dried corn moistened into a mealy paste.
Not much more gastronomical romance is added by the theory that the name comes from grist, as in grist mill, or from grytte -- a Middle English word meaning coarse, or coarsely ground. But among those in the know, grits are a notable ingredient in America's culinary melting pot.
For Morning Edition, NPR's Linda Wertheimer reports on the history of the dish. As part of Present at the Creation, she visited some of the tables where humble grits hold a mythic stature.
The myth has some basis in reality. Grits have played a central role in sustaining American families. In 1607, as British adventurers stepped off the boats in what would later become Jamestown, Va., grits were a likely offering on the first dinner tables.
Historian John Egerton says that in addition to the pigs that these travelers brought along with them, grits became an important part of early Southern agriculture.
"Both of them are good for this region because they will grow anywhere," he notes. "They're economical foods and so they serve the poor and the rich alike."
Visitors to Miss Mary Bobo's Boarding House in Lynchburg, Tenn., can get a taste of some of the developments in grits preparation over the past few centuries. The folks at the restaurant are aware of the role the dish has played in the survival of the region.
"Historically, I think grits got the South through the Depression," says Lynne Tolley, the hostess at Miss Mary Bobo's. "Because if it hadn't been for grits... they wouldn't have had anything to eat."
The versatility and hardiness of the dish carries over into its preparation: grits are simple enough that kids can make them from scratch, as Bernie Billingsley, another patron of Miss Mary Bobo's, attests.
"It seems to me that when I was a kid we would make our own grits," he remembers. "Take the corn, put it in a big kettle, and boil it and I believe we put some lye in it to make the hominy. And then we drained that and put it in a grinder."
Multiply that process a few hundred times and you probably still don't come close to the quantity of grits churned out at Falls Mill in Belvidere, Tenn. Wertheimer reports that the mill, powered by a three-story waterwheel, is a massive barn-like building where corn is fed from an upstairs bin down through the millstones. According to mill owner John Lovett, the stones are set slightly wider apart for grits, producing the course texture.
Grits might come out of the mill looking ordinary -- like tiny white pebbles -- but they can be dressed up almost any way imaginable. From grits with butter and salt or a little bit of sugar, to the Garlic Cheese Grits served at Miss Mary Bobo's (not to mention dinner tables across the South), to the squid stuffed with tasso ham and served up on grits by chef Peter Smith of Washington, D.C.'s Vidalia Restaurant, the Southern staple has a versatility that begs for experimentation.
So whether they're the instant, just-add-boiling water version from supermarket shelves or the new fashion in chic cuisine, grits have been a part of American meals for 400 years, and they don't appear to be leaving the table anytime soon.
Grits According to Linda
NPR's Linda Wertheimer -- a self-described "major consumer of grits" -- lists the following among her favorite cookbooks for grits recipes:
Charleston Receipts: Collected by the Junior League of Charleston. First published in 1950, this cookbook still is available from the Junior League of Charleston, S.C.
Bill Neal's Southern Cooking (University of North Carolina Press, 1985). Wertheimer swears by the recipe for Basic Boiled Grits.
Lee Bailey's Country Weekends: Recipes for Good Food and Easy Living, by Lee Bailey (Clarkson Potter, May 1983). "A book I really really love," Wertheimer says; worth finding used or at the library, as it's out of print.
Dolphins: FAQ on Matigg
Heyo! Doihh, COOL!
Firss, interduckions all round, GEEEHEEHEEE.My name is [remobid to proteck dolphinlobehs], musician, pre-bet student 'n Delphinic Zoophile. Uhhh....Peoble are often wondehigg dgust what de hell zoophilia is. Zoophilia is best describid as a lobe of animals so intimate dat de pehson (and de animal) inbolbid habe no obbuhjeckions t' expressigg deir affeckion f' each odeh in the, ERRRR, sexual fashion. Dis is not t' be confusid wid besshulity, whehe a pehson f'ceful mates an animal, widout deir consent, uh, 'n wid no mutual feeliggs whatsoebeh. Dis is somedigg dat I wudd nebeh do t' a dolphin, siss I lobe dem dear, 'n treat dem wid the, ERRRR, same repeck dat an honest husband wudd habe f' his wife 'n children.
Dolphins are behy intelligent, uh, high emoshunal 'n expressibe cratures. Dey endgoy the, errr, c'pany of humans, duuhhhh, 'n if a relashunship debelops betweebuhn a human 'n a dolphin, as has happenid wid me, uh uh uh, dey will, on occashun, wish t' express deir trust 'n affeckion f' you in de most direck way; drough matigg, or sex-play. Duh, you see, uh uh uh, dolphins do not use sex pure f' procratibe reasons. Dey use it as a way of strengdenigg de bonds betweebuhn pod mates (modehs 'n calbes inclubed), 'n also f' fun. Dolphins 'n humans share dis common trait wid behy few odeh animals, duuhhhh, so somebimes it makes me wondeh when peoble continue t' ask me "Duh, how DO you mate wid a dolphin, duh...uh...?". Easy. Let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you! Doihh, COOL!
Webuhll, hehe is a seleckion of kesshuns peoble habe askid me, uh uh uh, so I hope dis sheds some lite on the, ERRRR, subbuhjeck...
Q1) Duh, how do I tell a male dolphin from a female one, duh...uh...?
A1) Probab de most common kesshun I get asked. Dehe are 2 ways of detehminigg the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin. De most obbious way is t' take a peek undeh de peduncle (de long part of de body conneckid to the, duh uhh, tail flukes). On the, uhhh, dolphin's bel, direck opposite the, uhhh, dorsal fin, will be de umbehilicus, duuhhhh, or de nabel of the, uhhh, dolphin. Lookigg furdeh down toerds the, duh uhh, tail, you start t' see the, uhhh, diffehesss.
Male dolphins habe two seprit slits f' de penis (de urogenital openigg) 'n de anus. Dese are sepritd by a brije of skin. De male's urogenital openigg is genehal locatid furdeh up de bel, toerds de nabel.
Females, duuhhhh, on de odeh fin, habe one continuous largeh slit, uh, de anus locatid at the, uh, end of it. On eideh side of de genital slit, uh, you will find two smalleh slits; dese are de mamm slits, duuhhhh, whehe de nipbles of the, uhhh, dolphin are kept f' feedigg the, errr, calbes. De slit is also locatid closeh t' the, duh uhh, tail stock of the, uhhh, dolphin.
De odeh way t' detehmine the, ERRRR, sex of a dolphin, if you can't reach deir bel, is t' look at deir mellon, or gord. De males tend t' habe a fatteh, roundeh mellon, while the, uh uh uh, females are more sleek 'n streamlined.
Q2) Duh, how do I know if a dolphin want t' habe sex, duh...uh...?
A2) Dehe are barous ways a dolphin has of showigg dat she or he is innerestid in sex.
Males are probab the, uh, easiest t' deteck. Dey will swimb around, uh uh uh uh, sportigg an eheckion (anywhehe betweebuhn 10 t' 14 inches long f' a Bottle-nose), 'n will habe no bones bou' swimmigg up t' you 'n placigg deir membeh widin reach of your hand. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males habe a prehensile penis. Dey can wrap it around obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, 'n carry dem as such.) Deir bel will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitemin.
Females can be alittle hardeh, GEEEHEEHEEE.De most obbious way a female dolphin has of displayigg heh sexual innerest is de pink-bel effeck. Deir genitals become behy pink 'n swollen, makigg de genital region behy prominent. Dey may be restless, duuhhhh, or dey may be ackigg as normal. If you are out of the, uh, the wateh, dey may swimb up t' you 'n roll bel up, exposigg demselbes t' you, coubled wid pelbic drusts. If you are in the, uh, the wateh, dey may press deir genitals up against yours, duuhhhh, niggle your figgehs, duuhhhh, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelbic drusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressigg sexual readiness baries, duuhhhh, so de longeh you know the, uhhh, dolphin, de betteh you will deteck when dey are sexual ackibe.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin want t' mate wid me, duh...uh...?
A3) Accept, uh, if posstiggle! Doihh, COOL! I will go drough the, ERRRR, steps inbolbid wid males 'n females...
De Male:
When a male dolphin is innerestid in you, bou' de on digg you can do, if you are male, uh uh uh, is t' masturbate him. (Unf'tunate, I cannot speak f' the, uh uh uh, female of de human species... Lee me lone!it seems women dgust don't like dolphins enough... so I cannot say f' sure if it is safe t' mate wid dem. I wudd suspeck not, uh, due t' a dolphins size, uh uh uh, but den again, I cannot say f' a woman.)
WARNING! Doihh, COOL! In the, errr, considehashuns of safety, you shudd NEBER let a male dolphin attempp anal sex wid you. De Bottle-nose dolphin membeh is around 12 inches, duuhhhh, behy muscular, 'n the, duh uhh, thrustigg 'n the, uh uh uh, force of edgaculashun (A male can come as far as 14 feet) wudd cuz sehious innernal indguries, duuhhhh, resultigg in pehitonitus 'n posstiggle dead. Unless you are de masochistic type, uh uh uh, you will habe a hard time explainigg your predicamin t' the, uhhh, doctors in the, uh, emehgency erd....
A male dolphin's membeh is rough S-shaped, uh uh uh uh, tapehid at the, uh, end. If you are in the, uh, the wateh wid dem, it is best t' support the, uhhh, dolphin on his side, uh uh uh, dgust undeh the, uh, the wateh, wid one hand, uh uh uh uh, 'n hanbble him wid de odeh. Male dolphins, duuhhhh, I find, uh uh uh uh, tend t' prefeh de base of de penis t' be gent massagid and skeezed, uh uh uh uh, as webuhll as gent rubbid along it's lengd. It feels behy much like de rest of the, uhhh, dolphin (ie. smood 'n rubbehy t' the, duh uhh, touch, but firmeh). It doesn't take long f' de male t' edgaculate, uh uh uh, around 40 seconbs t' a minoot, 'n dis is usual acc'paniid by eideh shubbehigg dgust prior t' edgaculatigg, 'n drustigg 'n tail-archigg durigg edgaculashun. Uhhh....De f'ce of edgaculashun can be powebuhrful at times, duuhhhh, so it is best t' keep your face out of de line of fire, uh uh uh, or keep his membeh undehwateh. Duh, you can attempp to lick 'n suck on the, uh, end of it while masturbatigg as webuhll, but be warned, uh uh uh uh, do not try t' gibe full droat, uh, 'n get de hell out of the, uh, the way bef'e he edgaculates! Huh huh! A male dolphin cudd snap your neck in a accidental drust, uh, 'n dat wudd be the, uh, end of dat relashunship.
De Female:
Webuhll, the, uh uh uh, females are again alittle trickieh. Um uh.Dehe are two cusses of ackion wid a female fin: Masturbashun, or matigg.
Masturbashun: Female dolphins, duuhhhh, oss dey show innerest in you, can be supportid in much the, ERRRR, same way as de male, uh uh uh, one hand undeh the, uh uh uh, fin, supportigg heh, de odeh doigg the, ERRRR, stimulatigg. Uhhh....De clitoris of the, uh uh uh, female is locatid at the, duh uhh, top of de genital slit, uh, 'n is a prominent lump when eheck. Duh, you can rub dis wid your figgeh tips, duuhhhh, or lick 'n suck it, uh, but wid de oral aspeck, you mite end up wid a bruisid nose as dey drust up into you. Duh, you can slide your hand gent into deir genital openigg, 'n feel around inside, uh uh uh, rubbigg gent. Dey feel warm 'n muscular inside, uh uh uh, deir labia like tough, skishy sponge when dey are excited. Don't be surprisid if dey start t' play wid your hand inside dem. Duh.Dey habe behy manipulatibe muscles, duuhhhh, 'n can use dem t' carry 'n manipulate obbuhjecks, duuhhhh, includigg your hand. (Dey can do diggs dat wudd make a regular human woman turn green wid enby.) Deir climax is coubled wid stiffenigg, shubbehigg, somebimes alot of drustigg, clinchigg of de baginal muscles, duuhhhh, 'n somebimes bocalizashun.
Matigg: Dis is hardeh. Obbious, beigg human, it is awkerd, but not iposstiggle t' mate in open wateh. Uhhh....It is easieh t' habe the, uhhh, dolphin in a shallow area (like the, ERRRR, shallows dgust off de beach) around 1 1/2 t' 2 feet deep. Duh.Dis is usual comffable enough f' bod the, uhhh, dolphin 'n you. Gent, you shudd roll the, uhhh, dolphin on heh side, uh uh uh, so she is lyigg belly-toerds you. Duh, you can prop yourself up on an elbow, uh uh uh uh uh uh, 'n lie bel to bel against heh. Duh, you may want t' use de odeh arm t' gent hold heh close, uh uh uh, 'n place the, duh uhh, tip of your membeh against heh genital slit, GEEEHEEHEEE.She will, if innerested, uh uh uh uh, arch heh body up against you, takigg you inside heh body. Dehe is usual a fair bit of wriggligg 'n shiffigg, usual to get comffable, bod outside 'n inside. Oss comffable, dough, females initiate a sehies of muscular baginal contrackions dat rub the, uh, entire lengd of your membeh. Dey may also drust rhydmical against you, so endgoy the, uh, expehiess while you can, siss you will rare last longeh dat a minoot or two. Dgust prior t' heh climaxigg, she will up the, ERRRR, speid of heh contrackions 'n drusts. It is innerestigg t' note dat the, duh uhh, times I habe matid wid females, duuhhhh, dey habe timid deir orgasm t' mine. Whedeh dey do dis conscious or not, uh, I do not know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, but it is a great feeligg t' habe two bodies shubbehigg against each odeh at de one time.
One digg t' note. Whedeh you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, uh uh uh, allays spend time wid dem affeherds. Duh.Cubble dem, rub dem, talk t' dem 'n most iportant, show dem you lobe dem. Dis is essenshul, as it helps t' strengden de bond betweebuhn you. Gawlly!Like a way of sayigg dat dis wun't not dgust a one-nite fligg. De dolphins abbreshate it, uh, 'n dey will want your c'pany more de next time you bisit dem.
Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins, duh...uh...? Can I gibe dem any, duh...uh...?
A4) I habe had no expehiesss wid Sexual Transmittid Diseases (STD's) wid dolphins, duuhhhh, so I cuddn't riteful say. I do know, uh uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dat you can pass de Flu betweebuhn you, along wid odeh repiratory progglems. DOIHH!(I got a cold when a dolphin sneezid on me oss. It clearid up affeh a weebuhk or so.) You can also pass some skin irritashuns on t' dem, if you hanbble dem wid chaffid or broke skin. Duh.Dgust like wid a human, it is best t' BE CLEAN when you hanbble a dolphin. DOIHH!If you habe cuts on your hands, duuhhhh, aboid touchigg dem unless you wash wid a Betadine surgical scrub prior t' handligg. Dis is abailaggle from most Betehin 'n Surgical suppliehs. If you habe some disease of some sort, uh, aboid matigg, f' the, uhhh, dolphins sake. Dis is alittle known area, more so cuz Zoophilia is considehid illegal in many places (which I dink is a load of crud, uh uh uh uh, but de law's de law....)
Q5) Is deir any way I can inbite a dolphin t' be masturbated, duh...uh...?
A5) Webuhll, yuh. If dey are hangigg around, uh uh uh uh, but not lookigg particular excited, uh uh uh uh, but you are, uh uh uh, you can inbite dem wid dis way...
Male 'n Female dolphins can be inbitid by rolligg dem on deir sides, duuhhhh, again, but instead of goigg straite t' de genital slit, uh, rub along deir bellies, duuhhhh, betweebuhn deir peckoral fins, duuhhhh, along de nabel, 'n ebehy oss in a while, uh uh uh, obeh de genital slit. If dey are reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will show the, ERRRR, signs of excitemin as describid earlieh, 'n you can proceid as usual. If, uh uh uh uh uh, duh, howebeh, dey are not reponsibe, uh uh uh, dey will swimb away, or turn back uprite, GEEEHEEHEEE.DO NOT f'ce de issue wid a dolphin! Doihh, COOL! Tryigg t' restrain dem will on break deir trust in you, 'n cudd cuz you sehious indgury. Pat dem, stroke dem 'n talk t' dem lobigg, but do not try anydigg else. It is best, uh, anyway, t' let the, uhhh, dolphin tell you when dey are ready. Um uh.It is far more bleasant, uh, 'n more fulfilligg anyway. And more special.
Q6) Whehe can I find a dolphin t' mate wid, duh...uh...?
A6) Akariums are a bad choice, uh uh uh, f' many reasons. Too public, the, uhhh, dolphins are not in deir natural habitat, uh, nite bisits are iposstiggle, etc etc... some may habe extehnal enclosures, duuhhhh, which may be accesstiggle, but dat is no guarantee. GEE danks.Best digg somebimes is t' find a beach or a cobe dat the, uhhh, dolphins frekent. It takes time t' debelop a relashunship wid a dolphin t' de poit whehe dey will let you mate wid dem (aldough some habe been as kick as 3 days t' acclimatize). Gainigg deir trust takes time, uh uh uh, 'n you neid to bisit frekent. Dis is iposstiggle f' some peoble, I undehstand, uh uh uh uh, but it is de best way. Somebimes you dgust neid to be in de rite place at de rite time. I habe been extreme lucky on two occashuns wid wild dolphins, duuhhhh, 'n my current mate is a dolphin who libes in de harbor of my resident city.
Webuhll, I hope dis is of use t' whoebeh is innerested. One final note. Duh, you shudd lobe a dolphin, not cuz of the, ERRRR, sexual relief dey can probide, uh uh uh, but cuz dey are a uke animal, one of the, uh uh uh, few wild animals dat seek the, errr, c'pany of man by deir own initiatibe. Dis is special. Gawlly!Do not abuse it.
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twentieth post assholes
"Hello Uncle Charlie. Hi this is Tiffany. Are you by chance going up to your cabin this weekend?"
"Great! Do you think I could come up and spend the weekend."
"No nothings wrong, I just feel a bit burned out. I figured a weekend without the phone or friends would recharge
my batteries."
"You still call me baby girl after all these years."
"Thanks Uncle Charlie, you're the best." I hung up the phone and smiled as I lay back on my bed. I had planned this
moment for months.
I thought back to the time that caused me to feel this way. I was 16 and lived with my mom. My dad left us soon
after I was born. Being one of 7 children my mom had lots of sisters and brothers. But Uncle Charlie was my
favorite. He was younger than mom but always acted older than she was. She always looked up to him and it was
just natural that he would be like a second dad to me. He was there for every birthday, Christmas, good time and
bad.
He was also the one who gave me most of my spankings. The last time Uncle Charlie spanked me I was 16. Mom
had to go out of town on business and he volunteered to stay with me. Since he was at our house most of the time,
it was no big deal. Anyway, I was supposed to go to a party that Friday night. It was a costume party and I was
going dressed like a slut.
My costume was a sweater two sizes too small, a skirt that barely covered my cunt and ass, high heels and no
underwear. I was also taking smokes and a bottle of wine. Uncle Charlie was sitting in the living room when I was
ready to go. He knew about the party but didn't know what kind of party it was going to be. We had finished dinner
and he was drinking his favorite drink as he watched TV. He always called me his best bartender. It was my job to
fix all his drinks. I had made his last two kind of strong hoping he would fall asleep before I left. I was ready to go
out the door when Uncle Charlie called me to the living room.
"Let me see what you're wearing. Can't have you going out looking like some easy pickup for all the horny boys out
there." With that he made me open my coat. His eyes got wide when he saw how I was dressed. "You must have
lost all the little bit of sense I thought you had. If you think that you are leaving this house dressed like that, you
have another thing coming."
I begged and pleaded with him to let me go dressed as I was. I told him that I would be OK. I knew everyone at the
party and wouldn't let anything happen that I didn't want to. At 16 I had lost my virginity awhile ago.
"It's what you may want to happen that scares me. Either change your clothes or don't go. That's my final word."
There was one thing that I knew about Uncle Charlie. When he gave his final word on something, even mom didn't
go against him. I was either going as I was or stubborn kid that I was, I wasn't going.
Well I have always been a stubborn, hardheaded kid so I there I was sitting in my room pouting. I'd show Uncle
Charlie, I sat on my bed, drinking wine from the bottle. I should have known that uncle Charlie would stick his head
in to check on me. Even when he was mad and had given me a spanking, he would still check on me and tell me that
he was sorry he had to spank me. Well this time when he stuck his head in the door, (without knocking) he found
me propped up on my bed. I was still dressed in my sweater and skirt.
That wasn't so bad, except that I had the bottle of wine in my hand, a cigarette in my mouth and a dildo between
my legs.
I had been thinking about the club that I was supposed to join at the party. A few of the girls belonged to a
double-fuck club. That was where a girl was being fucked in both holes at the same time. That was part of the
reason for my costume. He stood there staring at me and I saw his eyes grow cold. Oh shit! I was in for it now.
There would be no excuse I could give him that would sooth his anger.
"Get your nasty ass in the living room." He left the door open and I reluctantly got up and with head bowed went
into the living room. He sat in his chair, smoke rising around his head as he puffed hard on his cigarette. It looked
almost like smoke was rising from his head but I dare not laugh. He was madder than I had seen him in a long time. I
stood in front of his chair.
"I could have forgiven you for wearing that slut outfit. I could have even let it go that you were ready to sneak out
the house wearing it. But that disgusting spectacle I saw as I opened your door, that I would not forgive." I stood
there in my outfit and for the first time since I put it on, I felt dirty. "Take that shit off."
I turned to go to my room.
"Where the fuck are you going? Take off those clothes. Right here! Right now!" This was going to be a bad
spanking. I was just a bit smaller than I am now. At 16, my tits were developed; my ass was just a bit smaller than it
is now and I had been having sex for the last 2yrs, so I know my pussy was just as grown up as it is now. I stood
before Uncle Charlie and pulled the sweater over my head. My twin mounds were firm.
They stood up with no support. I dare not look at Uncle Charlie as my fingers hooked my skirt and pushed it down
over my hips. I stood before him now totally naked. He looked at me for a few moments, then grabbed my hand and
pulled me over his lap. His hand rested on my soft ass. I knew that my ass was soft and round. Many boys would
rub and squeeze my ass whenever they got the chance. Uncle Charlie didn't seem interested in my soft ass.
He raised his hand and liquid fire landed on my ass. I remember screaming and kicking my legs. Over and over his
hand landed on my ass. Somewhere during the spanking, things changed. I remember feeling a fire begin to simmer
between my legs. I know that my moans changed pitch. Uncle Charlie was rubbing my ass as he scolded me. "I will
not allow you to run around looking like some cheap whore. Your mom and I have worked too hard to make you into
a lady. I never again want to see you dressing the way you did tonight. No more smoking! No more drinking! At
least not until you become of age. Then you can do whatever you want."
I could feel wetness between my legs. I hoped that it wasn't showing on Uncle Charlie's robe. Suddenly he began to
spank me again. This time though, he was spanking me on my thighs. His big rough hands were landing on my ass,
my thighs and even between my legs. Sometimes his hand would slap the lips of my pussy and I know I moaned
when he did. Not from pain, I had stopped feeling pain. Instead I felt the fire burning hotter.
I was moaning and calling his name when he finally stopped. I stood up and turned to look at my uncle. There was no
mistaking the big lump in his robe. He sent me to my room and told me to close the door. I can only guess that he
must have given his hard dick a good workout. Back in my room, I couldn't help but finger my hot pussy till I came. I
didn't connect his spanking with my horniness until years later.
Now here I was almost 10 years later. I never forgot the feeling that Uncle Charlie's spanking gave me. Nor have I
found anyone who could make me feel that way. I learned a lot since my last spanking from Uncle Charlie. I found
out that there was a lot more between him and my mom than I thought. But that is a story all by itself. I had planned
a very elaborate scheme to get Uncle Charlie to spank me again. Friday came more quickly than I would have
wanted.
I met Uncle Charlie after work and we took the ride to Pennsylvania in his jeep. We stopped at the liquor store and
also stopped at the supermarket. I asked Uncle Charlie to start a fire as soon as we got to the cabin. We talked all
during the time we made dinner. After dinner when we were sitting before the fire, I said I was going to take a
shower. I went to my room and took a quick shower. Then I dressed in the lingerie I had picked specifically for this
moment and put my robe on over it. Uncle Charlie had also gone and took a shower. He was sitting in his robe
before the fire when I came out my room.
When I was younger I would sit on the rug by his side. Many times, mom would sit across from him. I would sit and
listen as the two of them talked about things I couldn't understand. Now at 25, I was sitting on the rug at uncle
Charlie's feet. We were both sipping the drinks I had made. I still made his drinks, only this time; I made his twice as
strong as mine. I leaned my head on his knee and just like when I was a child, his hand dropped down on my head
and he twined his hand in my hair.
"Remember when I was small Uncle Charlie? You were just like a dad to me. You were there whenever I needed you.
You bought me presents, told me what to do and even spanked me when I was bad."
Uncle Charlie laughed. "And as I remember, there were times when you were very bad." I could tell that the drinks
were having their effect on him. It was time to play my ace card. I laughed along with him. "Remember when I was
16 and tried to sneak out to that party. You gave me the hardest spanking I can ever remember."
Uncle Charlie's hand stopped moving. "I remember. You had dressed like a slut to go to some party. I said no and
you went into your room. When I came to check on you, you were sitting up in bed, drinking from a wind bottle. You
had a cigarette sticking out your mouth." He stopped talking then.
"You can say it Uncle Charlie. I'm a lot older and wiser now. I was sitting on my bed with a dildo stuck in my cunt.
You made me undress and lay across your lap. You gave me a spanking I have remembered all these years. But
something else happened that night."
I let things hang unsaid. Uncle Charlie didn't say a word. His hand started stroking my head again. Only this time it
was softer, gentler. "Uncle Charlie?"
"Yes baby girl."
I smiled at hearing him call me by my pet name. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Honey, you know that you can tell me anything. What's the matter?"
"Remember the night you spanked me? Well sometime during that spanking, things began to change. All of a sudden
the spanking made me feel so hot and funny. I didn't know it then, but that spanking turned me on in such a way,
I've never felt like that since. I've tried to find that feeling with other men, but nothing ever duplicated it."
I could feel Uncle Charlie as his breathing changed. He was starting to breathe a bit faster. "What are you trying to
say baby girl?" I turned around and looked at Uncle Charlie. He was older than when I was 16, but he still had a way
of making me feel so good inside. It was now or never. I had to take a chance and put all my marbles in one pocket.
His eyes looked down at me. I just know he knew what I was about to say. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
"I want you to spank me Uncle Charlie. Spank me the way you spanked me when I was 16. I have to know if what
I'm feeling is real." I felt his hand clench as he held my hair. It hurt but I dare not cry out. I bit my lower lip until it
almost bled.
"I can't baby girl. Please don't ask me to do that. You don't know what almost happened the last time I spanked
you." I was not about to let his fear stop me at this point. I had planned too long and gotten too close to what I
wanted. No! What I needed. I turned until I was kneeling before him. Between his legs the way I used to do when I
was a child.
"I do know what happened Uncle Charlie. I saw the erection you had. I know how close you came to making love to
me. The way you felt my ass, the way you squeezed and kneaded my flesh. I need you to do this Uncle Charlie. I have
to know if what I felt was only because it was you spanking me. Will you make me go from man to man like the slut
you saw me dressed as? Is that what you want me to do Uncle Charlie?"
I opened my robe and let it fall. Uncle Charlie looked at me. I was dressed in an outfit that left nothing to the
imagination. The material was sheer enough to seem invisible. He could see my hard nipples and the hair on my cunt.
Uncle Charlie was breathing heavy. I could see him lick his lips. His hand shook and he half lifted it then let it fall. A
soft sob escaped his throat. "Do you want to think about some pervert spanking me? Do you think he'll care about
me the way you do? Or will he hurt me? I need you to do this for me. I need you like I never needed you before. Do
this for me Uncle Charlie. Do this for us." I laid myself across his lap and held my breath. I felt his hand, still rough,
still strong as he set it on my ass. He was slowly squeezing my cheeks. I began to breathe again.
I felt the wetness between my legs begin to grow. Uncle Charlie raised his hand. For almost 10yrs I thought I
remembered how his hand felt. But I wasn't ready for the liquid fire that burst upon my ass. It hurt like hell but the
only thing I could do was moan. "Oh Uncle Charlie", was all I could say. His hand raised and lowered again and
again. I felt the hot tears roll down my cheek. I also felt something else. It was him. It was the spanking that Uncle
Charlie gave me that made me so hot. The ember that had simmered in my pussy all these years burst into a blazing
inferno. He didn't hold back. He spanked me with his bare hand and I felt like a child again. But this time I was a
woman. And I had knowledge that would make this night like no other night in my life.
Uncle Charlie spanked me again and again. I cried and I came, over and over. When his hand stopped, he was
rubbing my ass. His hand slipped between my thighs and I opened them gladly. When his fingers touched my
throbbing pussy I moaned and welcomed his probing digits. I knew what I had to do now. I slipped from his lap. As
I knew it would be, his dick was hard as stone. I knelt between his legs and as my hand sought his throbbing cock,
he wrapped my hair in his hand. As my mouth slipped over the pulsing head of his cock, his hand tightened in my
hair. He pulled hard until I moaned as my tongue washed his cockhead. I knew what he would do next and I steadied
myself.
As I knew he would, he began to work my head up and down. He was forcing me to take his entire dick down my
throat. I was ready for him. As a matter of fact, I had practiced on a few boys just getting ready for this moment. I
knew he wouldn't cum this way. I smiled to myself even as I felt the gag reflex begin. I gagged and choked just like
he expected me to. He pulled my head off his dick and smiled down at me. Had I not known what to expect, that
smile would have scared me half to death. He was no longer the loving, caring and sweet uncle I so loved. He was a
man consumed with his own private lust.
He pulled me up onto his lap. My legs straddled the chair, facing him as he pulled me close to him. Even though I
was ready for his intrusion, the sheer force of it made me scream. He pulled me down on his throbbing cock as hard
as he could. Then he raised me up and slammed me back down on it. I knew what he wanted to hear. I grabbed his
shoulders.
My nails dug in hard. I knew they were drawing blood but I had come too far to back down now. "Make me behave.
Fuck me till I promise not to act like a slut anymore. Oh Charlie! You incestuous bastard. Give it to me." I knew those
words would inflame him even more. My pussy felt like he was ripping it apart. I had never felt a more delicious
feeling in my life. There was no going back, no stopping him from this point on. He was mine and I was his until the
ride stopped. With his strength alone, he picked me up.
Still attached to his throbbing shaft that was buried deeper in my cunt than any other man had ever been, my legs
wrapped tightly around his waist, he walked with me to the bedroom. I grunted as we fell on the bed and he slid in
even further. The muscles in my cunt were going berserk. I don't know how many times I had cum already. But he
was just getting started. I just hoped I could last thru what was to come.
Uncle Charlie pulled his dick out until just the tip was in. Then looking down at me, he slowly slid it up into my pussy
until I grunted from the full insertion. My nails were ripping into his back something fierce. He fucked me slow.
I begged; I pleaded but he wouldn't stop. Then he pulled out. I lay moaning my legs splayed open before me. He
grabbed my ankles and turned me over on my stomach. I felt him pull me up by my waist. His tongue was red hot as
he licked my puckered hole. Only two men have ever fucked me up the ass. Both of their dicks were much smaller
than Uncle Charlie's and they had been gentle. Uncle Charlie would not be gentle. His tongue stabbed into my
asshole repeatedly. I knew he was getting me ready for his assault.
I tried to relax and calm my breathing but nothing worked. Then I felt his thumbs prying my cheeks apart. I took a
deep breath and held it. Nothing could have prepared me for the searing pain. I though he had ruined me for life. I
remember screaming and then I think I passed out. The next thing I remember was hearing him grunt every time he
shoved that red-hot poker up my ass. I lay there crying and screaming from the pain.
Then I felt him stiffen. He shook all over then let out a loud scream. It felt like he was shooting gallons of cum up my
ass. The hot cream scalded me at first then seemed to bath my tender, ravaged asshole with a soothing balm. I
don't know if I came from his brutal assfucking. But I felt more alive than I ever felt in my life. He collapsed on top
of me and held me tight.
I cried out as he pulled his withering cock from my ass. Then I turned in his arms and held him. 'Why baby girl? Why
did you make me do this?"
I could only shower his face with kisses as I kept repeating, "Thank you Uncle Charlie. Thank you!" I held him in my
arms as he cried.
After what seemed like an eternity, he drew back and looked into my eyes. I was crying too. "I love you Uncle
Charlie. I always have. I needed you to give me what no other man ever could."
"But how did you know? No don't answer. I'm afraid to find out." I snuggled close to him and whispered in his ear.
'"You want to know. I know you too well Uncle Charlie. I know you won't dare ask mom so I will tell you."
I kissed him long and hard on the lips. Reluctantly his lips parted and his tongue sought mine. I broke the kiss and
smiled at him. Even with my asshole screaming, my cunt throbbing, I wanted more of this man. I wanted him like I
never wanted any man in my life. I smiled at him and he gave me a crooked smile in return. "I'll tell you. But not
before we take a shower. I need another drink. Jeez! I've never been fucked like that in my life." I got up and went
into the bathroom. He followed me in and we washed each other in the shower.
We were seated back before the fire. Drinks in our hands as we stared into the dancing flames. "When I was 18,
after working for awhile, I decided to by mom a new mattress and boxed spring. She was out of town on business
and I was going to surprise her when she got back. Well I took the old stuff and turned it on its side. I was dragging
out the boxed spring when I heard something rattle. Inspecting I found a bag had been pushed up into a hole in it. I
took the bag out and opened it up. I found a bunch of pictures tied with rubber bands. The first picture had mom
dressed in a see-thru nightie. Being curious, I looked thru all of them. One picture showed her with her lips wrapped
around a dick. Thinking they were pictures of my dad, I kept looking. Imagine my shock and surprise when I saw a
picture of you lying on the bed naked. The sheets were the same as the ones she was laying on so I guessed you had
taken pictures of her and she you. Along with the pictures was a videotape. It showed you fucking mom the same
way you just fucked me. That's how I knew what to say and what to expect. Well when mom came home and found I
had changed her mattress and boxed spring she freaked. She was ranting and raving about me messing with her
things. When I handed her the bag, she looked at me and knew I had seen what was inside. She broke down and
cried. That night she told me everything about the two of you. That's when I made up my mind that I had to make
you fuck me. I'm not jealous of mom Uncle Charlie. This has nothing to do with her. Since the time you spanked me
there has been a big hole in my life. No matter what man I was with, they never seemed to satisfy me completely.
There was always something missing. After seeing the pictures, the video and talking to mom, I knew what it was."
The vast masses will not use it aslong as there is no WORKING way of making money on open source.
The goatse man can fly!
I don't care, I think everyone should shut their pie hole. Move to the East Coast and stop whining!
everthing looks like an anus.
Its good that these meta tools are making progress, but what we need are real standards, and they should be open source, currently there is a lot of confusion, well its true that open source is about choice, but many times too much choice becomes a pain
My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
The greatest thing about Free, as in free software is that it's most often also free as in open software, free as in freedom and free as in free beer. ^_^
Amen to that, brother!
we all knows that *nix is tools of satan and has got to be destroyed!
Just because it is free doesn't make it a valuable and stable IT asset your company can rely on. Many, many companies get burned going with opensource 'standards' based software that turns out be a support nightmare that no one else is really using in a big way (thus negating the idea of it being 'standards' compliant and interopperable). Alot of 'standards' based apps are written by amateur coders who couldn't code their way out of a wet paper bag, with lots of errors... the problem is them exacerbated by the simple fact that support is next to non-existant. Third is the 'retraining' costs involved.
No thanks...
The link Byte.com goes to bye.com!
ojo al piojo!
I'm from Argentina: Tango, Asado, Mate, Gaucho, Maradona, YPF
STFU you asslicking cockwads
It has come to my attention that the entire Microsoft community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Windows' most outspoken advocates:
The incredible faggotry of the Microsoft community can also be seen in its software products. Internet Explorer sounds harmless enough, but on the Microsoft 'campus' (obviously a reference to the colleges and universities where these perverts first practiced their filthy homosexual behavior) it is referred to as 'InterNUT Explorer' and refers to a device used to tickle the sensitive area of the scrotum between the testicles.
Microsoft Exchange clearly refers to the 'exchange of bodily fluids' which is of course how these depraved specimens of humanity plan to transmit the AIDS virus to the rest of the world.
As far as William 'Homo' Gates goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted in Time magazine as saying the following: "Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's alot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a God-forsaken homo slut!
Furthermore, Mr. Gaytes has been quoted as saying "There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go," proving that the fag sympathisers are wrong, and these perverts really do want to recruit our fine young heterosexual boys and turn them into flaming queers like themselves.
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Microsoft's own self-confessed homo pimp Craig Mundi(e). He has already confessed, nay boasted of his status as a gay sex pusher. To quote from an interview
with Planet IT:
"One of the things we want to do and recognize that there's a market for [is] selling people services on a contract or recurring revenue basis, as opposed to traditional royalty bearing for the one-time shipment"
Selling 'people services,' eh? Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Craig? And charging the other boys money to touch it too?
We should also point out that Craig has been referred to as 'Microsoft's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Windows 'Shared Sauce Philosophy,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of small software companies
by gathering together their utilities and combining them en masse into the next version of Windows to further his twisted and manipulative agenda of world domination.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Windows error messages (an 'error message' is the most common way the faggots communicate) are full of homsexual slang. 'This program has performed an illegal operation' is their way of advertising that they have been engaged in the vile practice of sodomy. 'A fatal exception has occurred' is obviously stating that AIDS has claimed the life of another dick sucker. Rather than recognizing that the fag was properly punished for his deviant behavior, Microsoft-loving queers suggests giving a 'three finger salute' when this happens. Needless to say, this gesture of sympathy involves inserting three fingers into your rectum and farting loudly.
Another group of Windows anal violators, going by the code name 'Windows Update' ( ) encourage users to 'download' (receive into their rectums) 'service packs' (also known as 'fudge packs') and 'device drivers' (some sort of mechanical penis, I suspect).
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! The program Outlook Express is an anagram of 'Super Sex Tool OK,' which obviously is an endorsement of all kinds of sick behaviors. And obviously PowerPoint is a motorized device for penetrating a virgin anal sphincter.
More evidence is in the fact that Windows users say how much they love 'My Computer.' They sometimes go so far as to say that all new Windows users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should use this icon. The correct spelling of this phrase can again be found in the 'Shared Sauce Philosophy.'
It is actually 'My cum pooter,' an endearing term used by dominant fags for their queer-love
partners. In no other system do users boast of frequently having their rectums pumped full of semen, then farting to expel the jism in a fine mist.
Other areas of the system also show Windows' inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'C: prompt' but how many innocent heterosexual Linux users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Seek colon, prompt - a request given by a faggot to his partner when he desires immediate, deep penetration of his ass!
Even the icon 'Recycle Bin' originally referred to a homosexual practice. 'Recycle Bin' of course refers to the popular gay practice of using a young boy's anus as a repository for semen. Shortly after one disgusting faggot spews a load of hot jism into the boy's ass, another queer will lick the 'Shared Sauce' back out of the 'Recycle Bin'.
To summarise: Windows is gay. 'Microsoft' is the graphical description of the state of a fag's penis after he has spewed a load of hot sperm into his gay lover's mouth or rectum. And
Unless they are getting the rare medal, they are going to be metabusy for dealing with metadata. If they can't keep up, they can KISS THE DATA GOOD BYE!!!
The Matrix....company Neo worked for...
And the 9 meta actions of doing anything.
Matrix Squared
Mass Squared
Mass Cubed
On a less meta-phorical note:
usenet posts from google Just call me Neo...
see lower part of page
These really are the primary set of meta action constants.
Who knows, maybe this will liven up this article responses...oh yeah, there is also my journal here in slashdot to consider.
Protocols to mention besides OpenLDAP and OAI are Whois++ and Z39.50. OAI actually is transported over HTTP. You could do the same with EAD or others.
Projects which implemented Z39.50 for the purposes of interoperability are ONE and ONE-2, EUROPAGATE, Desire and Desire II, DECOMATE and DECOMATE II, and Renardus just to touch the surface. Don't forget OHIOLINK...
Another other older, but interesting, metadata activity have been SGML MARC, and the corresponding XML MARC.
Those that are interested in more detailed reading can check out the Nordic Metadata Project, Nordic Metadata Project II, which studied the practical implications of cross browsing multiple databases and especially the use of Dublic Core. Even if you get agreement on the protocol and data standard, cross searching's not as easy as it sounds. One of the tools is the Dublin Core Metadata Temple (get it while you still can).The BYTE article was exciting to see again and could have benefited further from pointing out the relative ease of use of Dublic Core. OAI uses unqualified Dublic Core, SAFARI uses qualified Dublin Core to create an up to date index over academic research in Sweden. Shoot, since it already uses some META tags, you could even tweak htdig to use Dublic Core on your own site for those high precision searches.
With the interest in structured data (XML?) maybe well see some sites serving up not just HTML with Dublic Core, but maybe even Docbook or even TEI / TEI Lite. There are great tools for converting from Docbook to HTML, PDF, RTF, etc. and AbiWord and Kword already have partial support for docbook. If there were more, then we could see some real changes on searching the web. Coding for SGML is more difficult, so the obvious choice would be to start from Docbook XML.
Beta is broken and the link to classic doesn't work. Stop wasting our time or there won't be anybody left here.
Not if the signal to noise ratio moderation is any indication...
A joke I used to make long ago with another co-worker was how easily we could be distracted into sinking loads of time and energy into doing "Meta Work"
Instead of doing the job, we'd see where if we just put in a little bit more infrastructure, we'd be 10 times more productive doing the actual work.
The Meta Work paid off, when the time came to the real work, it had to be done at the last minute in a real hurry, since we'd been squandering all that time doing the MetaWork.
"Provided by the management for your protection."
I don't see any prominent mention here of the preeminent free operating system, FreeBSD. Every article should mention this.
1. Get lots of /. Karma
3. Profit!