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Macintosh... The Naked Truth
The Naked Truth is a book about what it means to be a Macintosh user, in a world dominated by Windows. This should have tipped me off as to some troubles ahead, as I live as a Mac user in a predominantly Linux-dominated world. And I proudly use Linux (and, to a lesser extent, other forms of Unix, not even including Mac OS X) daily. As I write this, I have four terminal windows running in NiftyTelnet, connecting me to Linux boxes at work and at home. I am inserting a 700MB database dump into MySQL, scp'ing some MP3s, restarting some daemons, copying some source code for later porting, and monitoring disk space. I am a Macintosh devotee, and have been for more than 15 years, but I am a geek. A big, preemptively multitasking, geek.
But Kelly takes the perspective that Macintosh is not a computer for geeks, but for creative people who can't be bothered with geek-like things. So when he belittles those "PC users" who like to build their own computers, and I see the Linux box under my desk that I've recently been fiddling with, I just take it with a grain of salt. After all, geeks are allowed to like ease of use and a consistent and usable GUI, too.
This mischaracterization of some Mac users is also evident in his "definitive platform test." The questions, asking for things like a description of your own driving skills, are intended to tell you which platform you should use. On one end of the scale is the Macintosh user ("Average, I'm not a bad driver"), followed by borderline between Mac and PC user ("I'm an excellent driver, very cautious and alert") to obvious PC user ("I obey all posted traffic signs and don't exceed the speed limit"), to "militant" PC/DOS user ("I wish all those idiots would just get off the road!"). But clearly, any sane person would choose the latter response. I don't understand what the problem is. I selected the "Mac" and "DOS" answers evenly, which didn't do well for my overall score. I happily continue to use Mac OS nevertheless.
That said, Kelby is dead-on about many things, like how computer store personnel are mostly clueless (not that this is specific to Macintosh products, but it is more pronounced in that particular arena than in most); how most anti-Macintosh arguments by PC users either don't make sense any more or never made sense to begin with; how Apple has been the primary innovator of PC hardware and OS software; how Apple seems to succeed sometimes in spite of its own management. He tends to belabor his point on occasion (OK, we get it, CompUSA's Apple store-in-a-store is all the way in the back, we don't need you to spend two pages describing just how far back it is), but if taken in the good humor intended, it's a satisfying journey nevertheless.
His most interesting points, perhaps, have to do not with what it is like to be a Macintosh user in a foreign land -- I think everyone on Slashdot can understand these things, regardless of whatever non-Microsoft platform of choice they use -- but what it is like to be a Macintosh user in relation to Apple itself. He has some keen insights about where the passion comes from; why people love Apple; what's going on inside their heads.
But then again, reading his responses to letters written to Mac Today and Mac Design Magazine by PC users are just downright entertaining -- keenly insightful or not -- if you are the sort of individual who likes to see stupid people get smacked around. And who isn't?
Now, being a geek -- and a pedantic one at that -- I did take issue with him on some relatively minor issues, like claiming that Apple changed the name of Mac OS X to "OS 10.1" when it came time to do the first maintenance release; the fact is, the official name from day one was "Mac OS X 10.0," and that nothing has changed at all in that naming scheme. The current release is "Mac OS X 10.1.4." It's the same thing, with an incremented version number. He's absolutely right that this is a point of confusion, and in some ways poor marketing. For the next major release (Mac OS X 11.0? Mac OS 11? Mac OS XI?) there will surely be some more confusion, too. But nothing at all has changed in the naming scheme since the initial release. For now. I just want to make sure everyone is clear on this point. It is "Mac OS X, version 10.1.4," and "Mac OS, version 9.2.2." "Mac OS" and "Mac OS X" are OS names. "10.1.4" and "9.2.2" are version numbers. Got it?
Similarly, he bashes the Newton. Sure, the first release of Newton kinda stunk, but it was the first version. The last versions of the Newton MessagePad, aside from the size, were still by far the best PDAs around for the next several years. Newton still, to this day, has the best handwriting recognition in any consumer PDA, as well as the best (non-color) interface, and it was years ahead of its time in functionality. It was just too big. That was its only problem. Well, and too expensive. But maybe less so if it weren't so big.
And he also called Compaq's PDA an "iPac." And occasionally used poor punctuation. And I think I saw a run-on sentence in there.
But now I am getting worked up. I'll settle down. Deep breath, in, out, in, out. That's the thing about being a Mac user, Kelby points out: passion. Passion for Apple and its products, even the ones that stink, because Apple is more than just a company, it is an organization that changes our lives in important ways, by making products that make a difference to us.
OK, so maybe I am in the target audience after all.
Chapter List
- Life after switching to Macintosh
Using a Mac is easy; being a Mac user sometimes isn't. - "I can't believe you actually use a Macintosh!" and other stupid things PC users say
Congress should rethink giving PC users freedom of speech. - Things Apple doesn't tell you about owning a Macintosh
Since Apple's not going to tell you, dontchathink somebody should? - The definitive platform test
Find out if you're really a Mac person, or just a PC person in cool clothing. - How to resist the overwhelming temptation to strangle Apple's management
Is "Apple Management" an oxymoron? And is "oxymoron" actually a synonym for a pimple cream for really dumb people? - CompUSA: Your own private hell
Tips for surviving the visualization of Apple's place in the world. - Why PC users need Apple
Heere's why they should be kissing Apple's butt (instead of Microsoft's) - "Don't pick fights with people who buy ink by the barrel"
PC users write me nasty letters, and I give them the public flogging they so richly deserve - Pot shots at Microsoft, the media, and anything else that gets in our way
Nobody gets out of here alive! - The 20 most important things I've learned about being a Mac user
There were actually 22 things, but that made for a really clunky chapter title. - The secret of Macintosh
Here's a hint: it's not Apple's advertising.
You can purchase Macintosh ... The Naked Truth from bn.com. Want to see your own review here? Just read the book review guidelines, then use Slashdot's handy submission form.
Why PC users need Apple Heere's why they should be kissing Apple's butt (instead of Microsoft's)
Or in the case of many slashdot readers, "instead of Linus'"
Roadkill is yummy.
All i could think of seeing that title was Steve Jobs naked.
*twitches repeatedly*
"You worthless post!"
-Shakespeare, 2 Gentlemen of Verona, 1. 1. 147
So, to continue the analogy, Linux people spend their weekends operating on themselves with their kitchen utensils?
I know Slashdot isn't -- and doesn't need to be -- perfect in terms of spelling and grammar, but using a sentence fragment to complain about a run-on sentence is a little much.
I bought my first Mac right before they announced the new Power Mac. I even bought an external CD-ROM, external modem, and extra VRAM. I bought a Power Mac clone right before they announced there would be no more support for Power Mac clones. I bought a G3 upgrade for my Power Mac clone right before they announced the new Mac OS would not support G3 upgrades, only native systems. I bought a Pentium II system, installed Linux, and I haven't paid a dime for hardware or software upgrades in three years.
In the auditorium, Skinner speaks to the children.
Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite different. Test
scores are at an all-time low, so I've come up with these
academic alerts. [hold stack of cards] You will receive one as
soon as your grades start to slip in any subject. This way
your parents won't have to wait until report card time to
punish you.
Martin: How innovative. I like it!
Kearney: Hey Dolph, take a memo on your Newton: beat up Martin.
[Dolph writes "Beat up Martin" which the Newton translates as
"Eat up Martha"]
Bah! [throws Newton]
Martin: [being bonked on the head] Ow!
-- Good ol' Apple Computer, "Lisa on Ice"
(Thanks to SNPP)
Top Ten Affects of Die-Hard Mac Users on the World
10. On a certain day in January and July, Akamai traffic increases... Ten, err, Xfold.
9. Gap can always fall back on selling black mock turtlenecks and deep-blue denim jeans in an economic recession.
8. The world's goldfish will always have a place to live. (Today, in the Mac Classic. Tomorrow in the hollowed iMac G4 dome...)
7. Translucent irons, toothbrushes, speakers, mice, cat bowls, and lingerie.
6. Grandparents. Surfing. By themselves. Ahh!
5. MacOSRumors. The single largest scam on the Internet, today.
4. iPhoto coffee-table books. (Trust me: It's the ONLY way "The Osburne's" will ever make it into print... I hope.)
3. The Trash. Call it what it is, damnit! Recycle Bin my arse: Microsoft trying to please the tree-huggers.
2. Aquafied slashdot. Whodathunkit?
1. Grandparents. Unix. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
jrbd
My wife, the ultimate technophbe, is now getting her intro into OSX. She loves it. She's a gamer, and will stand behind me and clear her throat, and shuffle around, hoping to irritate me enough so she can play Tony Hawk on my machine. She even knows some commandline commands. She love cal. Prebinding and top makes her swoon. She loves watching the characters flash by.
I will have to get her her own G4 so she will leave me to my machine.
There's a geek in there somewhere.
photosMy Photostream
Herbal remedies on a Mac.
Oh yes, I have just the thing for you. Ladies and gentlemen, the iBong!
Inhale and enjoy...
Grab.
...more ways to divide people and make enemies.
;-)
do we constantly have to make it 'us' and 'them', the other side always claiming moral highground?
this is just one more thing for people to get angry at each other for. like dads beating each other up at hockey games, or fans beating each other up at sports arenas...
does it fucking matter? are we so superficial as to group each other by the types of computers we use? this is sad, sad, sad.
:
and by the way C64 rocks, you all suck.
https://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
...and everything just *works*.
This is one of the most oft-repeated lies in modern computing.
I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
I mean, they're right there, and you're supposed to keep them clean and properly sharpened anyway...
Just remember, if you're Jewish, to use the "meat" untensils, not the "milk" ones.
the whole MAC vs PC debate is about as worthwhile as starting a fire with your powersupply.
A: to those who say Macs are NOW cool because of MAC OS X having unix underpinngs
--Shut up. LOL... MAC OS has always had the tools for power users... and to think it was just some kids computer until X came around is to ignore VPC, LinuxPPC, Terminal apps, Hexediting and the whole kit n kabbodle
B:to those who say PC's have are supirior, or macs arent tweakable.
--i have taken my rev b imac apart installed a scsi/video card... upgraded the processor, added firewire, upgraded the ram/HD/and video ram, and installed my own internal cd-r. AAAll of this in a All in one case.... uhm.... thats a great deal of tweaking in my book. If it wasnt for the fact that linux reads so many disk formats macs would be the only real good IT computer... but no-one in IT realizes that... sigh... misunderstandings will continue till the end of time...
--Idiots, Every single one of YOU, A flaming mass of conglomerated morons, hey wait a second, isnt that how RAID works?