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Macintosh... The Naked Truth
The Naked Truth is a book about what it means to be a Macintosh user, in a world dominated by Windows. This should have tipped me off as to some troubles ahead, as I live as a Mac user in a predominantly Linux-dominated world. And I proudly use Linux (and, to a lesser extent, other forms of Unix, not even including Mac OS X) daily. As I write this, I have four terminal windows running in NiftyTelnet, connecting me to Linux boxes at work and at home. I am inserting a 700MB database dump into MySQL, scp'ing some MP3s, restarting some daemons, copying some source code for later porting, and monitoring disk space. I am a Macintosh devotee, and have been for more than 15 years, but I am a geek. A big, preemptively multitasking, geek.
But Kelly takes the perspective that Macintosh is not a computer for geeks, but for creative people who can't be bothered with geek-like things. So when he belittles those "PC users" who like to build their own computers, and I see the Linux box under my desk that I've recently been fiddling with, I just take it with a grain of salt. After all, geeks are allowed to like ease of use and a consistent and usable GUI, too.
This mischaracterization of some Mac users is also evident in his "definitive platform test." The questions, asking for things like a description of your own driving skills, are intended to tell you which platform you should use. On one end of the scale is the Macintosh user ("Average, I'm not a bad driver"), followed by borderline between Mac and PC user ("I'm an excellent driver, very cautious and alert") to obvious PC user ("I obey all posted traffic signs and don't exceed the speed limit"), to "militant" PC/DOS user ("I wish all those idiots would just get off the road!"). But clearly, any sane person would choose the latter response. I don't understand what the problem is. I selected the "Mac" and "DOS" answers evenly, which didn't do well for my overall score. I happily continue to use Mac OS nevertheless.
That said, Kelby is dead-on about many things, like how computer store personnel are mostly clueless (not that this is specific to Macintosh products, but it is more pronounced in that particular arena than in most); how most anti-Macintosh arguments by PC users either don't make sense any more or never made sense to begin with; how Apple has been the primary innovator of PC hardware and OS software; how Apple seems to succeed sometimes in spite of its own management. He tends to belabor his point on occasion (OK, we get it, CompUSA's Apple store-in-a-store is all the way in the back, we don't need you to spend two pages describing just how far back it is), but if taken in the good humor intended, it's a satisfying journey nevertheless.
His most interesting points, perhaps, have to do not with what it is like to be a Macintosh user in a foreign land -- I think everyone on Slashdot can understand these things, regardless of whatever non-Microsoft platform of choice they use -- but what it is like to be a Macintosh user in relation to Apple itself. He has some keen insights about where the passion comes from; why people love Apple; what's going on inside their heads.
But then again, reading his responses to letters written to Mac Today and Mac Design Magazine by PC users are just downright entertaining -- keenly insightful or not -- if you are the sort of individual who likes to see stupid people get smacked around. And who isn't?
Now, being a geek -- and a pedantic one at that -- I did take issue with him on some relatively minor issues, like claiming that Apple changed the name of Mac OS X to "OS 10.1" when it came time to do the first maintenance release; the fact is, the official name from day one was "Mac OS X 10.0," and that nothing has changed at all in that naming scheme. The current release is "Mac OS X 10.1.4." It's the same thing, with an incremented version number. He's absolutely right that this is a point of confusion, and in some ways poor marketing. For the next major release (Mac OS X 11.0? Mac OS 11? Mac OS XI?) there will surely be some more confusion, too. But nothing at all has changed in the naming scheme since the initial release. For now. I just want to make sure everyone is clear on this point. It is "Mac OS X, version 10.1.4," and "Mac OS, version 9.2.2." "Mac OS" and "Mac OS X" are OS names. "10.1.4" and "9.2.2" are version numbers. Got it?
Similarly, he bashes the Newton. Sure, the first release of Newton kinda stunk, but it was the first version. The last versions of the Newton MessagePad, aside from the size, were still by far the best PDAs around for the next several years. Newton still, to this day, has the best handwriting recognition in any consumer PDA, as well as the best (non-color) interface, and it was years ahead of its time in functionality. It was just too big. That was its only problem. Well, and too expensive. But maybe less so if it weren't so big.
And he also called Compaq's PDA an "iPac." And occasionally used poor punctuation. And I think I saw a run-on sentence in there.
But now I am getting worked up. I'll settle down. Deep breath, in, out, in, out. That's the thing about being a Mac user, Kelby points out: passion. Passion for Apple and its products, even the ones that stink, because Apple is more than just a company, it is an organization that changes our lives in important ways, by making products that make a difference to us.
OK, so maybe I am in the target audience after all.
Chapter List
- Life after switching to Macintosh
Using a Mac is easy; being a Mac user sometimes isn't. - "I can't believe you actually use a Macintosh!" and other stupid things PC users say
Congress should rethink giving PC users freedom of speech. - Things Apple doesn't tell you about owning a Macintosh
Since Apple's not going to tell you, dontchathink somebody should? - The definitive platform test
Find out if you're really a Mac person, or just a PC person in cool clothing. - How to resist the overwhelming temptation to strangle Apple's management
Is "Apple Management" an oxymoron? And is "oxymoron" actually a synonym for a pimple cream for really dumb people? - CompUSA: Your own private hell
Tips for surviving the visualization of Apple's place in the world. - Why PC users need Apple
Heere's why they should be kissing Apple's butt (instead of Microsoft's) - "Don't pick fights with people who buy ink by the barrel"
PC users write me nasty letters, and I give them the public flogging they so richly deserve - Pot shots at Microsoft, the media, and anything else that gets in our way
Nobody gets out of here alive! - The 20 most important things I've learned about being a Mac user
There were actually 22 things, but that made for a really clunky chapter title. - The secret of Macintosh
Here's a hint: it's not Apple's advertising.
You can purchase Macintosh ... The Naked Truth from bn.com. Want to see your own review here? Just read the book review guidelines, then use Slashdot's handy submission form.
What if you refuse to drive under 100mph and think anyone who doesn't deserves to have their limbs slowly torn off?
If you need to interpret my post, then you don't get it.
Whoever told you that doesn't know what they are talking about.
It is not a sentence fragment. A sentence fragment contains no independent clauses.
Incorrect. You lose! And I win!
What if you can't drive?
WebTV
> Heck, why do you think there is an apple /.
> section on
Because linux folk don't mind pimping *anything* so long as it's not Linux!
_smile_
No-one could deny that apple has given the world some fine products. Its not the technology that annoys me but the culture around it: the pretentious open-plan office, the stupid imac case and the little brats who suddenly think of themselves as hackers because they can turn on a mac.
You dare to hit ME! JOHNNY PASCAULLY!!
worst analogy ever
dmarien
Ain't this the truth! I ride bicyles. When I look at the rec.bicyles.* groups cyclists put their bikes in their signatures as if owning a high end bicycle makes them cooler. Ditto for the automobile and motercycle newsgroups. A few folks here even put the kind of computer and OS they use into their signature. I guess they have to tell everyone what kind of stuff they own so we will all know how just how very cool they are.
Bruceness (just so you know)
Cinelli Supercorsa w/Campy SR
Nikon FM2n
2000 SE Miata.
Two things DO NOT make Apple "the primary innovator of PC hardware and OS software". The GUI came from Xerox Parc. Even the list provided by another comment doesn't qualify Apple for this title. There were and still are a lot of companies involved in innovation. How have the innovated ANYTHING for an OS? The GUI came form Xerox PArc, OS X came from various other sources.
Nothing will ever qualify Apple for that title. What they have done is just a grain of sand on a very large beach.
At the next eco-hypocrisy-meeting, count the private jets used to get to the meeting. Should be interesting to see that
How the hell does this get modded up 5 times as funny?
Did we just get bitchslapped?
I recommend using the +1 bonus whenever possible, if for no other purpose then as an offering to the slashgods.
Hell yeah, you're right. I am in one of those moods now, realizing that I have spent 4 years getting UID 12075 to 50 Karma and trying to keep it there. Since I've already blow 4 karma points being "offtopic" today, why not go for a hatrick here? Just gives me more incentive to post a few more Score: 5 remarks later.
I'd also like to point out that several of the other contributors to this sub-thread have all still got Score: 2's and they are just as offtopic as I am. At least I'm up front about being offtopic. If it pleases the moderators, I'd like to see a little equality in passing judgement, s'il vous plait.
"Posted at +1 Bonus for Maximum Karma Burn!"
SlashSigTheorem: Humorous, Political, Critical, Constructive- If you have a
That's so funny, I was thinking just the same thing! With the karma cap, and since I seem to be able to pop off a 4 or 5 pretty regularly, there's no reason not to post a few dogs at 2.
:(
If I had mod points, I'd go mod us all down, but I don't.
BTW, your sig sucks. You should put a space before the -, and you have too many capital letters.
with apologies to Neal Stephenson:
MGBs, TANKS, AND BATMOBILES
...
Imagine a crossroads where four competing auto dealerships are situated. One of them (Microsoft) is much, much bigger than the others. It started out years ago selling three-speed bicycles (MS-DOS); these were not perfect, but they worked, and when they broke you could easily fix them.
There was a competing bicycle dealership next door (Apple) that one day began selling motorized vehicles--expensive but attractively styled cars with their innards hermetically sealed, so that how they worked was something of a mystery.
The big dealership responded by rushing a moped upgrade kit (the original Windows) onto the market. This was a Rube Goldberg contraption that, when bolted onto a three-speed bicycle, enabled it to keep up, just barely, with Apple-cars. The users had to wear goggles and were always picking bugs out of their teeth while Apple owners sped along in hermetically sealed comfort, sneering out the windows. But the Micro-mopeds were cheap, and easy to fix compared with the Apple-cars, and their market share waxed.
Eventually the big dealership came out with a full-fledged car: a colossal station wagon (Windows 95). It had all the aesthetic appeal of a Soviet worker housing block, it leaked oil and blew gaskets, and it was an enormous success. A little later, they also came out with a hulking off-road vehicle intended for industrial users (Windows NT) which was no more beautiful than the station wagon, and only a little more reliable.
Since then there has been a lot of noise and shouting, but little has changed. The smaller dealership continues to sell sleek Euro-styled sedans and to spend a lot of money on advertising campaigns. They have had GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! signs taped up in their windows for so long that they have gotten all yellow and curly. The big one keeps making bigger and bigger station wagons and ORVs.
On the other side of the road are two competitors that have come along more recently.
One of them (Be, Inc.) is selling fully operational Batmobiles (the BeOS). They are more beautiful and stylish even than the Euro-sedans, better designed, more technologically advanced, and at least as reliable as anything else on the market--and yet cheaper than the others.
With one exception, that is: Linux, which is right next door, and which is not a business at all. It's a bunch of RVs, yurts, tepees, and geodesic domes set up in a field and organized by consensus. The people who live there are making tanks. These are not old-fashioned, cast-iron Soviet tanks; these are more like the M1 tanks of the U.S. Army, made of space-age materials and jammed with sophisticated technology from one end to the other. But they are better than Army tanks. They've been modified in such a way that they never, ever break down, are light and maneuverable enough to use on ordinary streets, and use no more fuel than a subcompact car. These tanks are being cranked out, on the spot, at a terrific pace, and a vast number of them are lined up along the edge of the road with keys in the ignition. Anyone who wants can simply climb into one and drive it away for free.
Customers come to this crossroads in throngs, day and night. Ninety percent of them go straight to the biggest dealership and buy station wagons or off-road vehicles. They do not even look at the other dealerships.
Of the remaining ten percent, most go and buy a sleek Euro-sedan, pausing only to turn up their noses at the philistines going to buy the station wagons and ORVs. If they even notice the people on the opposite side of the road, selling the cheaper, technically superior vehicles, these customers deride them cranks and half-wits.
The Batmobile outlet sells a few vehicles to the occasional car nut who wants a second vehicle to go with his station wagon, but seems to accept, at least for now, that it's a fringe player.
The group giving away the free tanks only stays alive because it is staffed by volunteers, who are lined up at the edge of the street with bullhorns, trying to draw customers' attention to this incredible situation. A typical conversation goes something like this:
Hacker with bullhorn: "Save your money! Accept one of our free tanks! It is invulnerable, and can drive across rocks and swamps at ninety miles an hour while getting a hundred miles to the gallon!"
Prospective station wagon buyer: "I know what you say is true...but...er...I don't know how to maintain a tank!"
Bullhorn: "You don't know how to maintain a station wagon either!"
Buyer: "But this dealership has mechanics on staff. If something goes wrong with my station wagon, I can take a day off work, bring it here, and pay them to work on it while I sit in the waiting room for hours, listening to elevator music."
Bullhorn: "But if you accept one of our free tanks we will send volunteers to your house to fix it for free while you sleep!"
Buyer: "Stay away from my house, you freak!"
Bullhorn: "But..."
Buyer: "Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?"
Carthago delenda est!