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The Creamy Center of the Atom
There's a funny article on SatireWire with a light hearted view of the joys at the center of the atom. Better then a Crackerjack box.
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In early 1946, Walton was thrilled to discover a decoder ring and secret message inside a carbon atom. After four days of painstaking work, he finally deciphered the message: "Sorry," it read, "you're not a winner. Try again."
That sounds so much like an MS EULA it seriously makes you wonder
Atoms made these days are getting worse and worse. They are filling them mostly with air these days so that you get less actual nucleic matter per bag! They do it over time so that you don't notice. In each atom, only a small percentage is actual protons and neutrons, and the rest is air. I think they learned something from the frito-lay company.
If they expect this "prize" debacle to make me buy again, they should think again. They can expect me to return to buying them once they increase the atoms' density to what it once was.
But then again, this is the same company donating millions to Senator Hollings to pass legislation that prevents fair use of atoms, so I don't think they are going to change. It's a disgrace, I tell you!
First, God said "Let there be light, and darkness." Then, He said, "Let everything be constructed of little tiny pieces of stuff, so small the silly humans can't see them." And then He said, "Let there be little toys inside these tiny pieces, so that anyone smart enough may have a little fun. These shall be tops, stickers, and anything else I deem to be fun." And thus it was, and it was good.
"To make apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." -Carl Sagan
appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars
this confirms my earlier theory, which was also recently corroborated by my two year old son, that toys are in fact the fundmental building blocks of the universe.
garçons et leurs jouets minuscules
consider coffee a lubricant that helps one penetrate the coding zone
This is a warning to all you would be chemists!
Some atoms may have razorblades or poison inside, so if your element isn't wrapped, have your parent check it out.
Safety first!
"I only speak the truth"
Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
I wonder. If any of you have wandered through the cereal aisle, you know that children's cereals have now started to package CD-ROMs instead of regular prizes. If you look closely, you see that these CD's all have a little AOL logo. That's right, they're AOL CDs, meant to sucker kids into installing AOL on their parents' computers.
How long until the first AOL CD is found inside an atom (1000 microns free[1]!)? When found, will it make it so the electron microscopes can no longer view non-AOL atoms?
[1] Yes I know it's a unit of distance, but if parsecs can be an unit of time, microns can be too; thanks, Lucas.
Senator Hollings is the ideal candidate. Not only rat like, and lacking an internal moral compass. He is sure to be easily controlled via electronic device. Failing that. With enough greenbacks I'm sure he'll do anything to succeed in his mission, no matter what the cost.