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Pledge of Allegiance Ruled Unconstitutional
VUSE g-EE-k and entirely too many other people wrote in about an Appeals Court decision holding that the Pledge of Allegiance, as recited in its current form in various public schools (often by law), is unconstitutional. The court's decision (PDF) is available.
How are we going to pay you if you win?
I don't see what the fuss is. I doubt seriously that all Christians or even monotheistic theologists agree on all tenants of what God is. So, what Eisenhower thought God was and what he expected "his" nation to envision shouldn't be any different than our money mentioning "In God We Trust". I don't see too many people giving up money because of the statement on the bills and coins.
Click here or here.
As an atheist, all I can say about this ruling is "Thank God!"
;)
US currency says "In God We Trust". Now, if that means you don't believe in God, it simply translated to, "Trust No One". Perhaps an even better motto when dealing with large piles of cash :)
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I'm sure nobody will stop you from saying "under God" if you want. The point is, the government has no business coercing people to say it who don't want to.
OTOH, the point someone made about currency is interesting. Maybe we should change it to, "In Greenspan We Trust", or more perhaps more accurately "On Friedman We Rely" or "From Soros We Beg Mercifulness", or "We Sure Don't Trust Those Guys at Andersen Anymore".
What if the phrase was changed to "one nation, under Satan"? Would anyone be offended? just maybe..
cpeterso
Watch your step .. you might get the Family Values folks sexually aroused.
Finding God in a Dog
Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? I'll need the reins of power turned over to me by next tuesday, though...
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
And it worked!
Thank you Jebus!
RUSSELL, KANSAS- On Wednesday, 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the current form of the Pledge of Allegiance, with its "one nation under God" line, blurs the separation of church and state and is therefore Unconstitutional. According to authorities, this event lead radio talk show host John McJay to literally explode while on the air during his afternoon drive shift on KQWE 1280AM.
During the one o'clock hour, McJay ranted about the current situation in Israel and the West Bank. Later on, more news about the Worldcom debacle became more proof that "the world is going to hell, if it isn't there already." By the time news of the ruling broke, it was too late. McJay's faithful audience listened impotently as their host gasped for breath.
"9/11
* While the exact sound of McJay's incendiary demise is a matter of debate among his fans, most described it as a something like a "wet thud."
McJay is survived by two ex-wives, three ex-children, half a dozen ex-program-directors, and several thousand avid fans.
In truth, the court decision is pretty much meaningless since it will not go into effect until it survives several rounds of appeals and the Supreme Court has already made it clear that it doesn't see a problem with the current Pledge. Of course, that wasn't enough to save poor John McJay.
Immediately after the ruling, several dozen members of Congress assembled on the Capital steps to denounce the decision. After the camera crews had settled into position, they loudly recited the unconstitutional Pledge, sang the national anthem, and beat their breasts until finally soiling their boxers with red, white, and blue ejaculate.
"It's a terrible kind of cynicism that would accuse us of grandstanding today," said Representative J.D. Hayworth of Arizona as he wrapped a replica of the 9/11 flag around his ample bosom. "While it may be true that we're all up for reelection this fall and this may seem like a softball issue, we're taking a taxpayer-funded break to pose for photos and issue soundbites for you, the American people. Oh, I almost forgot to mention 9/11. 9/11, everybody!"
After his court victory, renowned atheist Michael A. Newdow told reporters that the ruling was "a step forward for civil liberties in America."
Utah Senator Orrin Hatch admitted that the situation caught him off guard. "Civil liberties? I thought we got rid of that crap when we passed the Patriot Act."
Senator Fred Thompson of Tennessee reminded his constituents that Constitutional rights work both ways. "Freedom of religion gives me the right to force my faith on anyone I choose, so long as my faith is popular enough to lend weight to my point of view."
If the words "under god" feel tacked on, that's because they were, in 1954 to be exact. A proposal to replace the offending line with "One nation under C'Thulhu" has been rejected.
Already citizens groups and civil libertarians are sitting down at the negotiating table in an attempt to work out a new compromise edition of the Pledge: