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"Sex Education" For Pandas

Posted by timothy on from the something-to-moan-about dept.

ahertz writes: "If only it were this easy for geeks! CNN is reporting that officials at the China Giant Panda Breeding Center in Woolong, China are showing... err... panda pr0n to increase the sex drive of captive pandas. The program is apparently quite effective, as birth rates have risen dramatically."

11 of 39 comments (clear)

  1. It IS that easy... by Jester998 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    We watch pr0n all the time, and I'm sure our sex drive is quite high.

    Of course, the problem with US is the opposite sex... it's nothin' to do with how horny we are. :)

    - Jester

  2. A better report than the CNN one... by zulux · · Score: 5, Funny

    http://www.seanbaby.com/news/pandaporn.htm

    Maby not more informative, but a hell of a lot funnier.

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  3. Can the pun police arrest this guy? by sclatter · · Score: 3, Funny

    While it is not clear how far the "sex education lesson" goes into the finer details of the art of love-making, this X-rated scene is being repeated across China to pander to their basic instincts.

    No, no, no pandering to pandas!

  4. panda porn by brejc8 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mechanic panda: Dein bamboo air condition machine ist nit operational?
    Girl Panda 1: Ja es ist soo hot.
    Girl Panda 2: Dein mastash ist so grose
    [Break into wukacha guitar music]

    --
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  5. Eureka! by SuperguyA1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That explains the sudden spike in traffic to alt.sex.binaries.bears.pandas I was worried for a minute.

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  6. Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Hmm. I would have thought that animals might have problems seeing human TV. We've selected Red, Green, and Blue as ideal TV colors because those are the three kinds of, um, eye-thingies we have. In our eyes. You know.

    I would have expected animals to see the colors of TV screens as completely different from the ways we see them. Do pandas have the same color perception humans do, or do they just have the ability to perceive mis-colored pandas as still being panda (and therefore sexy...)

    1. Re:Animals can see TV? by TRACK-YOUR-POSITION · · Score: 3, Insightful
      Searching the internet, I found a computer graphics lecture about color spaces that explains what I'm talking about, sort of. Combing low and high frequency waves does not give you a medium frequency wave, but it might give you light with the same color as medium frequency light. No doubt we knew of the primary colors before we knew of rods and cones, but those colors merely appear to be primary because they are the ones are rods and cones are sensitive to.

      The part of the lecture that applies to my question is the part where different spectral energy distributions produce the same color--which opens the possibility that non-human could percieve two lights that humans believe are the same color as two different colors.

      I recall sometime ago an article linked to from slashdot suggesting it may be possible some women have a fourth primary color in their eyes. Certainly it's not difficult to imagine some animals are more sensitive to infra-red ultra-violet lights than humans--in which case the light shown by our visible light tv's would certainly look different than the light an animal would see in the real world.

      Wait a minute, I'm an idiot. Obviously color has nothing to do with animals and humans detecting black vs. white things. AND PANDAS ARE BLACK AND WHITE!! Therefore, of course color is not needed in these sex education films...

      Then again, if Panda color perception is different from human color perception, maybe pandas don't see themselves as black and white...

  7. They'd better teach good manners... by Deagol · · Score: 4, Funny

    or they'll send in Sexual Harassment Panda!

    --
    Method of processing duck feet
  8. Cool! Pornda Stars! by isotope23 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So who did they get to star in them?

    Bamboobs?
    Pandy Stripe?
    Pand Solo?

    And what about Pornda film titles?

    Grin and Bear it?
    Hot Bamboobs? (see pornda name above..)
    Ling-Ling does Szechuan?

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  9. Not so funny... by afabbro · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I thought this was a funny read until I got to the part about there only being 1,100 pandas left in the wild.

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  10. The mind boggles... by jonerik · · Score: 3, Funny

    So do these things have plots? Frustrated panda housewife seduces studly panda electrician? Two pandas getting it on in the locker room after a steamy workout at the gym? Girl panda-on-girl panda action? Is there bow-chicka-bow-wow background music?