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FTC Tells Search Engines to Disclose Paid Links
linderdm writes "CNN has an article describing how the FTC wants search engines who receive payment for higher rated links, to disclose this to users. The concern is that users go to search engines looking for the best results for their search criteria, not the highest paid results for their search."
Nice try, cock-blocker. CLIT can nuzzle my scrotum.
Lameness filter encountered. Post aborted!
Reason: Don't use so many caps. It's like YELLING.
it's capitalized, so yes, it's a typo by some luser
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© 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
Hey, kid... wanna touch my "kernel patch"?
-- Alan Cox
I am a 51-year-old college student, sharing an apartment with a guy who's been my friend for a long time. We get along well and are very compatible roommates, but an incident two weeks ago has jeopardized all that.
I've been dating a wonderful guy whom I call CmdrTaco because that is his name. CmdrTaco and I have sex a lot, and he is very loud. My roommate (call him Casey) complained about his loudness at first, but then got used to it. So imagine my surprise when I caught him masturbating outside my door listening to us have sex.
Casey, of course, looked embarrassed, and retreated to his room. Neither Casey nor I have mentioned the incident to each other since. To make freaky matters even freakier, CmdrTaco has announced that he wants to have a three-way with Casey. What do I do? I can hardly look at Casey anymore and I don't know what to say to CmdrTaco.
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Dear Turd Report:
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When you're sharing an apartment, overhearing your roommate getting laid is unavoidable. The roommate who isn't getting laid walks down the hall to the bathroom, and as he passes the door to the room of the roommate who is getting laid he hears a groan or a grunt or a thud or a slap. In most cases, it's pretty easy for the roommate who isn't getting laid to avoid further listening -- i.e., he can continue on his way to the bathroom or turn on the TV or whatever.
However, SSO, it's not only the responsibility of the roommate who isn't getting laid to avoid listening. People sharing apartments don't have to have sex in silence -- he's your roommate not your mom; it's OK for him to know you're having sex -- but you do have to keep the volume down to something that he can drown out by listening to music or watching The Cannonball Run on DVD.
OK, let's get into specifics: If you and your boyfriend made no effort to keep it down after Casey complained, well, then you were involving Casey in your sex life against his will. By forcing him to listen, you were drawing him into the action. Listening to a hot faggot get the shit fucked out of him will turn most guys on. In short, OF COURSE CASEY WAS BEATING OFF LISTENING TO YOU TWO -- WHAT THE HELL ELSE WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO? Yes, yes: He should've stayed away from your door. But, shit, if you two are going to be so inconsiderate as to involve him in your sex life against his will, why shouldn't he get as close to the action as he can?
So what to do about Casey, your old pal? Get drunk with him, bring up the subject, offer him an apology, and accept the apology he'll no doubt offer you. Then laugh it off: "Oh, man, what were you thinking, dude!" "Oh, man, I thought I was going to have a heart attack when you opened the door, dude!"
So what do you say to CmdrTaco, your loud faggotfriend? CmdrTaco knew Casey could hear you two going at it, and he kept it up. Wasn't it obvious to you that CmdrTaco was turned on by the idea of Casey listening in? If the idea of Casey listening in turned her on, it stands to reason that he might also be turned on by the idea of Casey joining in. If that's too freaky for you, SSO, then so is CmdrTaco.
Jesus that is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen. I actually have a couple of T-shirts with the goatse picture ironed onto the pocket. I love the disturbed look my friends get when I wear it to a DnD game. Hell, I would like to get that picture on a mug. He should start selling shit like that. Mouse pads and keychains would never be looked at in the same way again. What I would really like to see is a picture of a pokemon character in that post, I just don't know which character I would have doing that.
Long live the goatse man!
What was the first dish that you made after seeing goatse for the first time? I know that was quite an inspiring experience for us all. Nothing like getting the creative juices flowing.
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Change Log:
© 2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com.
Hey, kid... wanna touch my "kernel patch"?
-- Alan Cox
paid links don't show up as the first search result on Google. All sponsored links are in a column on the right. You must be thinking of a different search engine.
A while back Don Henley created an album called Building the Perfect Beast His first solo album it surprised many with tracks like Sunset Grill All She Wants To Do Is Dance my favorite Driving With Your Eyes Closed and Jon Katzs favorite Boys of Summer I was listening to this album on illegallyripped MP3s while reading the Slashdot trolls and started brainstorming what would make the perfect troll This article serves as a directed introduction to building the perfect trollFirst we need to define trolling This is harder than it sounds because everyone has their own definition of a troll or better their own definition of a good troll I am going to use multiple definitions to create a very broad ideal of the term troll Any post that meets ONE of the definitions below is considered a trolla A message widely regarded as an annoyanceb A message which insults the editors with no regard to meritc A message which flames another user for their viewsd Any message which is designed to enrage the standard slashdot userFor the purposes of this post a good troll is one that spawns many angry responses There are other sides of trolling such as crapflooding which do not generate any responses usually These sorts of trolls are out of the scope of this articleThere are 6 dimensions of a good troll annoyance arguability subtlety topicality logicality and permeance By NO means should a good troll use only one dimension although some dimensions are inherently contradictory using as many as possible will result in a good trollAnnoyanceThis is the allstar of the troll spectrum Racial comments page wideninglengthing misinformation deragatory comments etc all are considered an annoyance But be careful The common pitfall is the annoyance is used to frequently and too loudly Subtlety is a necessity if you are going to use this with any sort of success read more about this below Here are some examples of good and bad annoyancesBad You stupid fucking nigger Im going to kick your faggot ass if I ever see you you shitface cocksucking animal This will be modded down immediately and will probably not be responded to This message will largely be ignored thus limiting the troll affectPosting factual inaccuracies is great when combined with annoyance the Slashdots will fall over themselves correcting your every moveGood Its posts like these that question the education system of America If you were paying any attention at school you would know that the South won the Civil War because of their views no slavery It was Abraham Lincolns last stand at Gettysburg that caused Slavery to go awayMaking references to your education as proof that you are right is excellent especially when in your troll you make it obvious that you dont have anyBad I studied this topic in great depth when writing my PhD thesis at MIT As it turns out the limiting factor of sorting function with completely randomized data Good Oh I took a class about this at the DeVry Institute According to the reseptionist notice intentionally bad spelling the integral of ex2 is ex so its got to be rightArguabilityPosts such as You fucking faggot Im going to kill you has no element of arguability You want to post a view in an inflammatory way that will incite a great argument There is a right way and a wrong way to doing this Usually if you are outright cursing at the poster or editor its the wrong wayExamplesBad You worthless piece of horseshit Your views are wrong jackassGood This study post link to mostly irrelevant and offtopic study indicates there is a strong correlation between deviance and Linux usersDrawing illogical conclusions based on incorrect statements is a great way to instate a nerd riot ExampleGood When ESR said that Windows is losing clientelle he used intentionally bad grammar which is inherent proof that his ideals are flawedPermeanceQuestion If a troll posts a troll and no one reads it is it still a troll Answer NoA troll can only have so much longevity I call this principle permeance Permeance is judged by the number of people who will see and read a post and to a lesser extent respond to it Good formatting grammar and spelling all contribute to a posts permeance but the real factor is contentMost of you spend a lot of time reading at 1 presumably so you will know that a fair amount of racist and antisemetic comments are posted Most Slashdot users will not see these because they are at 1 klercks PLP and PWP are ultimately a failure because few see themTo maximize permeance you have to 1 Sound like you now what you are talking about 2 Sound like you have a stake in your point of view maening you care about what you think and 3 Express it without homophobia any sort of racism and discrimination You will see that trolls at 1 and even 2 use this principle You will see that trolls at 0 and 1 do not use this principle This brings us toFirst Fundamental Theorem of Trolling Anonymous Cowards by definition rarely succeed in posting a good trollSecond Fundamental Theorem of Trolling If an AC succeeds in a good troll it would even be better if it were posted at 1 or 2 by default SubtletyCertain posts SCREAM This is a troll Please ignore it These are not successful trolls As a troll your every urge is to scream YOU FUCKING FAGGOT HOW CAN YOU THINK THE WAY YOU DO to the Slashbot homos Resist this at every cost You need to diplomatically insult them Its hard I know but it will result in success GOOD PHRASESYou should know by now that Havent you learned anything from eventWhat a stereotypical viewWas this post sarcasticI cant believe the level of ignorance of that point of viewTopicalityThis is a nobrainer and therefore Im not going to spend much time discussing it Why do you think BSD is Dying trolls rarely get responses when they are posted under one of Jon Katzs articlesLogicalityDid I make that word up Probably But its principle is still important use every logical fallacy that you know of when writing trolls Jump to illogical conclusions Misquote or misrepresent parents posts when responding Make references to studies linking them to a 404 not found page You get the idea This one isnt hard to introduce but its wildly successful in getting Slashcock responsesThis is a brief introduction to the good trolling Soon I will post an article about combining dimensions and look at some good and bad trolls in the past
-pwpbot
J00 5UCK!!
1 0WN 411 J0UR F1R5T P05T5!!!!