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The Perl Foundation Grants Are Running Out
dogma01 writes "It looks like the grants to fund: Larry, Damian, and Dan have pretty much run out. :(" Keeping guys like these working on Perl is definitely a good thing(tm) if you are looking to support the Open Source Community somehow. You can donate here if you are feeling generous.
This is appalling.
Fund a real OO language ! Like ! VB.Net !!! hakkeuh !!!
first psot!!!!!
get yer sneak on
becuase of an error in reality, I'm about to fall asleep. The good news is, Linux died today.
oh rightm propz to the people who know they deserve them, and jamie@ilovelittleboys.vg is still a fag.
Buy my creamed fats. SUCKERS!!!
_O_
_/ \_
it's about time that development on this monstrosity came to a grinding halt.
I am not by any means saying that Perl is dead - indeed, it will be many years before Python is able to offer the versatility and brevity that Perl has provided me with for ages. But the developers need to get off the gravy train and head for greener pastures. The time to leave is now; there is no work left to do.
Just my 2c.
b.
God Forbid they get... *gasp* REAL JOBS!@!#
Perl is definitely a good thing(tm), your favorite website depends on it!
Perl is dying? Good.
PS: I hope it hurts.
maybe this will give languages like brainfuck a chance.
jamie@iliketogetskullfucked.vg is a fag
Thank you.
Perl was not designed to do what it's now being used for. The result is an awfully designed language made of layers and layers of incoherent stuff. Wouldn't the money be better used on projects that not as many people have heard about but that have a lot of potential if they can be completed?
True warriors use the Klingon Google
Its really irritating to click 'read the rest of this comment' only to find there's only one or two more lines anyway. Can't the thing be made a bit more intelligent and detect whether it's worth truncating a comment or not?
Ta,
AndyJ
Please do not agree with me. I made no attempt to justify my assertion, therefore it can hardly be construed as valid. If I had started from a general set of core concepts concerning Perl, and built a logical progression from such concepts to my conclusion, then your response may actually have some merit. Unfortunately, I am just bored at work and decided to see who I could piss off.
Apparently, we are both failures, and we should kill ourselves. You go first.
who is profiting from the development of perl, and would get money for various reasons if perl6 were finished?
:)
.NET by Everybody Else, and could potentially make a lot of money for people in general if the technology there were applied.
Redhat? Mysql AB? Umm.. OSDN? Hemos is subsidizing everything2 already, maybe he could subsidize a bit of Perl6 as well
Hell, one would think that they could almost go to the bank and get a loan to finish perl 6, and use the expected profits from the O'Reiley Camel Book for Perl 6 as collateral. They will certainly make lots of money off of that, i've looked at the perl 6 apocalypses and there is DEFINITELY going to be NO WAY that you will be able to make sense of it without buying the book.
It's disappointing that the rest of the computer industry isn't jumping on Parrot as a potential competitor to CLR, as a truly great cross-language cross-platform universal bytecode engine.. i really think that would be a huge step toward the overpowering of
Without extensively using open source software (specifically including Perl), Google would currently owe M$ a little over $200M in software licensing fees. I hope they can step forward and contribute to the effort like AOL/Netscape does for Mozilla!
Do we fund Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie? Or Bjarne Stroustroup? No; all three of them are "funded" by having actual jobs, and the task of adding "features" to C and C++ are handled by international or ANSI committees. Is there a fund for Linus or any of the other Linux kernel hackers? No, they all have jobs with actual companies.
24 months of programmer time.
... ok, so that leaves us with
$200,000 *ISN'T* enough the webpage says.
Hmmm, let's do some math...
We want to keep these guys on current equipment,
so 2 computers each over the contract.
- $8000.00
The need some broadband for those oh so large
CVS commits.
- $1620.00
Long distance phone calls for those emergencies.
- $6000.00
= $7682.50 PER PROGRAMMER MONTH
or to put it another way, $5685.05 take home
pay for what should be a hobby to each of your
heros.
DUMP EM and hire 10 fulltime hungry undergrads!
One of the goals of Perl 6 is to make non-trivial projects possible. That's good. The way it's being done is bad. Perl was once a lightweight, extremely flexible language. Now it's become a huge ugly monster. People wanted OO, so a nasty hack was bolted on top to allow some semblance of it. Now this nasty hack is being expanded. Sure, the code's different, but the basic form is the same. Kludge upon kludge upon kludge; I'd much rather have a nice, clean, pure language (and not one with loads of irritating whitespace thankyou very much).
The same goes for the syntax. All the switching between $, @ and % is really irritating (ask a newbie how to get at the length of the keys array of a hash inside a hash, for example), and the changes proposed for 6 are just making this worse -- it seems that Larry, in his infinite wisdom, wants to prefix every data type with a different hard-to-type character. Perl was only designed for the three data types, and adding more is a mess.
Perl 6 is a complete rewrite, but it keeps all the mess which has accumulated over the previous versions. This is not good. Sure, my const int $var = 27; may look neat (in the same way that, say, Pascal does), but $var isn't entirely constant, or entirely an integer, it's just a hack which makes it sort of behave like one. The whole thing is an exercise in pseudo-computer science masturbation with little real purpose except to please the managers who dislike the one thing that makes Perl special.
On a similar note is regexes. I'm an avid fan of regular expressions simply because a nondeterministic finite automata is far more flexible than linear code. However, Larry must have been smoking that cheap $2 crack when he wrote this. Does he want Perl 6 to be flex or something?
I won't be going on to use 6. It's a nice idea, but it's completely unnecessary. It won't make large projects any easier to manage (the language is still, at heart, an almighty hack -- an impressive one, but still a hack). It won't make OO any cleaner. It won't make development any faster. To put it bluntly, Perl scripts will still look less beautiful than our friend Mr Goatse. I'd prefer to use a language which has always been pure synthesis of science and engineering, not some half-baked imposter.
Perl 6 will be nice, but I'm guessing it will be the end of Perl. It can't do what it wants to do whilst still being based upon a nasty mess. There are now other options, which provide all of Perl's power and none of the mess. Sorry, but *BSD, erm, Perl is dying. Larry is buggering it up the ass without lubricants, just like Shoeboy is doing to Larry's daughter.
Yet another bozo on the bus of folks who think that Perl is only good for CGI.
IMHO Perl will be quite useful long after the web is as obsolete as Gopher. Perl is not just a language, and it's not just for web content; it's a very general and powerful way for thinking about and solving problems.
It may be possible to take any language that can compile itself and make it do OO; I'm frankly not sure. I'd hate to see what object-oriented FORTRAN looks like.
Finding God in a Dog
Larry, Damian, and Dan
;-)
I've always preferred Larry, his borther Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.
Runs its industrial strength ticketing system on Perl.
How hard can it be to call the people who maintain it and ask them for the Perl Foundation to email Ryan Air and the other huge companies that rely on Perl for a relatively small donation?
Have they made these contacts already?
ATH0 Bitcoin: 1DnwFLXczVZV8kLJbMYoheUrpqHesjxrSi
hijs goed ! :D
I've been providing streaming MP3 software for about 2 years, and had hoped that my 'tryware' approach would work. It doesn't. I have tens of thousands of users, and I've received thousands of positive emails, but I'd say that less than 0.5% ever gave anything.
You just can't support a full-time effort by relying on generosity. I still offer a free trial, but I now also have commercial versions for sale, and I only wish that I made that move a year ago.
Here's what I do: Bitty Browser & Andromeda
Redhat? Mysql AB? Umm.. OSDN?
Neither Redhat nor OSDN are "profiting" on much of anything recently. MySQL AB may or may not be profiting, but they are a fairly small company and likely have enough trouble working on just one major software project.
I definitely agree that mod_perl's time has gone (unless you need to get access to Apcahe's internals -- something most people forget mod_perl can do). And anything based on Mason runs a 95% chance of becoming an unholy nightmare. Perl's time has not yet gone. It's too useful for smaller, everyday things like banging out a quick filter/parser or some such. It's even good for the occasional small CGI script, and I've used it for cross-platform scripting with great success. However, I don't think "porting" Slash to anything Java based is the right way to go.
If King Slashdot was asking for votes, I'd vote for PHP. The syntax is very similar to Perl's. This means the developers and maintainers have a greatly reduced learning curve. You could almost literally port Perl code function by function to PHP. At the end, you'd wind up with something that looked very similar to the original Perl, but without all the baggage. PHP is at least as fast as mod_perl, and possibly fater than servlets (it has been in at least two cases I've seen). You wouldn't lose speed if you moved from mod_perl to PHP. The development model is very close to Perl's. If you're used to working with mod_perl stuff under Apache, then you'll immediately take to writing PHP apps. If you've administered mod_perl and Apache, then you already know how to administer PHP. With J2EE you get a whole new set of things to look at.
Anyway, that's my opinion. I've always felt that people should use the right tool for the job, and a part of the "right tool" definition is using what people already know as much as possible (unless it's a learning experience they're after). This is why it's good to know a lot of different technologies: you can apply the right tool at will (shell scripts instead of Perl, Java over Tk, whatever). If the Slash developers don't already know either PHP or Java, then they can most quickly get started with PHP, partially satisfying that "what you know" bit. The curve would be much more steep with Java.
However, the bottom line is that Perl seems to work fine for Slashdot, so likely there's no reason to fix it.
-B
Ash and Hickory, straight-grained and true, make excellent bludgeons, dandy for the cudgeling of vegetarians.
If we continue to fund Perl through Perl6, we'll pay twice. Once for those visionless bone-heads to develop it and once to re-learn how to code in Perl and port our apps when our CTO decides that "newer is better" and mandates an upgrade. I say leave them high and dry, scrap the Perl6 code and lets just write into Perl5.5 what we want or really need. The reason Perl6 is so screwed up is because they had to make us feel as if we were getting something for our money the LAST time we funded them.
wow - so some more worthless hippies won't get something for free? Boo hoo. Tell those fat lazy bearded bastards to go get real jobs. I hear MS is hiring.
will Larry personally convert all my existing code so it will work under Perl 6?
Perl and its type-unsafe friends are a dime-a-dozen. I think we will all survive it it goes into unmaintained land.
- lather - rinse - repeat -
This is what people fail to realize about Perl 6.
The entire purpose of the current Perl 6 development is to generalize Perl.
In other words, Wall et all saw that Perl was being used for purposes it was never, ever intended for, and are seeking to make a more flexible yet consistent tool, one that can be used for the crazy-ass things people use it for without being stretched to the breaking point.
This is what the money will go toward if you send something to the perl foundation funds. Fixing the mess that perl has become. Wall is very open about this.
Part of this is that the language has become simply huge, but you have to understand that they're expecting third parties-- makers of libraries and development tools-- to offer an environment in which that huge layered monstrosity can be cut down, and you can be left with just the subset of Perl's possibility that is left for you. Think of this like quake 3 and doom 3; they looks beautiful, they aren't very useful all on their own, and they are mostly platforms for other developers to start with so that they can make something insanely great very quickly.
In short, i would say that donating to perl 6 really does help more in the long run-- because instead of directly helping one little projects, you are indirectly helping many, many little projects to reach their goals quicker and better than they could have otherwise. You are donating to something for the little projects to build on.
(P.S.: expect to see some new form of use strict; (one which does strong type checking and lots of other things to let you reign in perl's extreme expressiveness to the point you are always sure what you are doing) become very popular in the enterprise once Perl 6 has settled..)
Basically I'd like to find out what level of contribution it would take to
- Have my name introduced as an operator in the language.
- Make whitespace significant to syntax
- Rename it from Perl to "Carnage4Life: Scripting Edition"
- Add C++ templates to the language.
- Include the fuck() and unfuck() function calls that do exactly that.
I await the answers to these questions with bated breath.For 18 months of Damian and half a year of Dan and Larry... what has been produced? What finished products can we take back to our workplace and use?
Mailing list traffic? Apocalypses/Exegeses? Acme::*? A lot of travel time and expenses? Lectures given in far away cities to a few hundred perl hackers?
Half a design for a language nobody really begged for?
Maybe if Larry, Damian, and Dan would lay off the fucking cocaine we'd still be in grantland.
Perl looks like an explosion in an ASCII factory - who is really going to miss it? Certainly not anyone who has had to maintain stuff written by someone who was trying to protect their job!
I hope it withers on the vine.
My purpose in asking whether anyone was getting money out of Perl was not that i was saying Perl was useless.
:)
I was merely saying, are there not people who are profiting from having perl as a free tool? Why are they not contributing to the Perl foundation fund?
I realized later that this may have been unclear, and i apologize. I am glad to see at least the replies i've had so far realized what i meant
since they use Perl for their testing framework .. they could step up and donate?
dunno ... maybe they already do ..?
You ask "what's left to do?"
How about a perl processor that handles buffer overflows safely. Not glamorous, but very practical.
Essentially this is the new virtual machine Perl 6 will be targeting (what Perl 6 will be compiled into before it is run.) But Perl will not be the only language that will run on this. People are working on making Python, PHP and even Java run on this same machine. It's about working together people.
Oh, I know it's much more fun to say "nah ne nah nah, my language is better than yours". But the Perl people want to work in an interoperable world where we can all code stuff in whatever language we want and it'll all work together. And this is their effort.
Now if you want to slam this down and winge, then it's up to you and I'm sure I'll waste my time reading your comments. However, if you want to actually do something about this kind of thing, you know where the donate button is.
-- Sorry, I can't think of anything funny to say here.
http://www.activestate.com
http://tinyurl.com/4ny52
$200,000 = total amount raised over 2 years
Damian was given a grant over an 18 month span.
Dan over 6.
Larry over 6.
18 + 6 + 6 = 30
200,000 / 30 = $6,666.67 per programmer month WITHOUT any expenses whatsoever.
even that is 80,000 per year (again with no expenses, individual or organizational), which is not that far off for senior programmers, a lot less in reality, considering they have experience overseeing large software projects.
--- What
Hi guys. WELL today it's official. My MCSE certificate came in the mail! i'm jonesin!! So I feel as though I have some qualifications to comment here. Why anyone would want to choose an unsupported, open sorse scripting language like PEARL is beyond me. In Windows we have batch file scripting and you know you can use and trust this method of getting tasks done because Microsoft supports it. The few times I've tried PEARL it was a fucking nightmare! what the fuck is up with all those dollar signs and shit. Sometimes I like to just throw a CD into my player, for example Manham Steamroller ,, and throw together a batch file to do something neat. And i know if there's a problem I can just clal Microsoft, give them my credit card number, and it will all be taken care of. Cant say that about larry wall, who at any given time might be out molesting a camel . Microsoft is always there
so guys its clear. PEARL is dying
Hi guys. WELL today it's official. My MCSE certificate came in the mail! i'm jonesin!! So I feel as though I have some qualifications to comment here. Why anyone would want to choose an unsupported, open sorse scripting language like PEARL is beyond me. In Windows we have batch file scripting and you know you can use and trust this method of getting tasks done because Microsoft supports it. The few times I've tried PEARL it was a fucking nightmare! what the fuck is up with all those dollar signs and shit. Sometimes I like to just throw a CD into my player, for example Manham Steamroller ,, and throw together a batch file to do something neat. And i know if there's a problem I can just clal Microsoft, give them my credit card number, and it will all be taken care of. Cant say that about larry wall, who at any given time might be out molesting a camel . Microsoft is always there so guys its clear. PEARL is dying
I'd been procrastinating this long enough. Thanks for the warning.
My $100.00 contribution just went in a minute ago.
Like the rest of us non-compensated OSS developers :)
1. Create a great OSS Product.
2. Beg for money.
3. Show a profit.
The missing part of the expression.
This seriously reminds me of PBS pledge-a-thons, where they break in the middle of a program you are actually watching on PBS and say "our pledge goal for this break is 25 new pledges" and they won't re-start the program until they get the 25 pledges. That's the point at which I switch to TLC or The Discovery Channel.
An additude like this is re-writing the social contract perl was distribured on, and it's artistic licence. If people start a campaign like this it will motivate people to say screw perl, I'm going to python or ruby.
It's like saying that everyone who drives by a beautiful piece of public art must now pay for that privledge or the art will be taken down.
--Shemnon
Oh, sorry, you can't all get jobs at a university that protects you from the realizations of the real world?
I suppose they could try getting real jobs, and produce the code on their free time.
Or, they could get real jobs, and since information wants to be free, and there is no work involved in writing the code, they could just wait for the code to materialize. If one person could think of it, then some one else will think of it, and not mind doing it for free.
I knew RMS would have the answer. He is so smart, and an economic genius.
Hello all,
I currently do work for a website that sells Open Source computer hardware and donatates a significant part of the profit to Open Source and Open Source related projects of the user's own choosings. If you'd like to check it out, check out Open Soars.
Thanks,
-Scott
or Bitkeeper, for that matter?
"It looks like the grants to fund: Larry, Damian, and Dan have pretty much run out. :(" Keeping guys like these working on Perl is definitely a good thing(tm) if you are looking to support the Open Source Community somehow. You can donate here if you are feeling generous.
Bloody hell, where do you get off shaking us down for loot? I remember days when people contributed to these projects in their spare time, you know, when they weren't working for a living. I shudder to think what the state of computing would be without hackers (classic definition) willing to contribute their talent free of charge. If you want to "support the Open Source Community somehow," I'd suggest spending some of your own time.
Have 'em apply to the linuxfund. Sure it may not be *all* their funding but it could help...
--Z
Use our software for free, and our lawyers won't harass you, just the beggars will.
Maybe they will call them at dinner time to ask for donations also.
I hope that no one funds those coding bastards
any more funding they might mess up perl so bad
it will turn into somthing good
Interesting...will the spec be made public so authors of their own language will be able to target it (without some screening for "worthiness")?
It looks like the grants to fund: Larry, Damian, and Dan have pretty much run out.
:)
Yeah, my grant for sluffing off and sleeping all day ran out as well, I could use some more handouts if anyone is feeling generous (ok, very generous)
They been fucking FUNDED??? Figures, with the shit that PERL is - like something the Government would produce. Time for PERL to die, it sucks. And fuck off about the funding - VOLUNTEER like so many other OSS developers do. FUNDING, give me a fucking break.
The content of the post that is actually about Perl is also not that insightful. He seems to have completely missed one of the main important things about Perl 6, which is the use of the Parrot VM.
Find free books.
sincerely.
get rid of that unreadable disease of a language.
There is an assumption in that message that OOP is the only or best way to make/manage large projects.
While I am not a Perl fan (but I respect personal preferences) there is no fricken evidence that OOP works better for large projects. Ed Yourdon has done surveys, and did not find a higher success rate for OOP.
I keep asking precisely how OO "scales better", and ask for code examples where procedural/relational allegedly falls down, and get nothing except vague mantra about "encapsulation" and "abstraction" that is never translated into black and white benefits in code or human effort metrics (except maybe bad procedural skills on display in the comparison).
It is true that *some* people may "think better" in OOP, but others may think better in Perl or whatever. Modeling one's head and modeling the needs of the external world are not necessarily the same thing. You can argue that OOP better models your *own* head, but don't extrapolate that to external benefits without some open evidence.
oop.ismad.com
Table-ized A.I.
If Larry, Dan, et al want money why not try a job? While they're at it, maybe they could peddle my resume around too.
"Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left free to combat it." -- Thomas Jefferson, 1801
a good way to get rid of perl
I think this shows Perl doesn't. Any commercial project with anything close to the adoption of Perl would have no trouble paying their top three guys without asking for donations. Maybe Perl operations that actually generate revenue, like ActiveState, based on their work could help.
Needing to beg to fund these guys should cause serious introspection among open-source advocates about sustainable models for open-source development.
...another glorious victory for the AC's. The very CEO of CLiT (Cock-Love is Terrific) stricken in his lair!! It's another stride on the road to victory over our fascist would-be oppressors.
There'll be medals and shit for you, Comrade AC, when this war is over. I salute you.
Give them enough funds to finish Perl6 - and they'll start Perl7.
Whatever happened to the "make money on support" or "sell T-shirts" strategies that have been touted by the opensource community so often? How come a viable business model cannot be found to support the development of this software?
I just donated all of my money to Lilo!
dot parrot (or .parrot)?
Ok...
unfinished: (adj.)
Besides, .NET is a proper subset of Parrot. The reverse is not true.
It's not a business, so of course they don't have a business model. They don't make it for a profit (as is getting more money after paying all salaries and expenses). They just want their salaries paid.
Having said that, commercial (for profit) OSS projects have to find a way that involves NOT controlling the source. There are some examples, but it's easier in a non-OSS for now. But for a small company with little capital, an OSS project has the winning cards.
OSS -> support from the consumers / users.
CSS -> selfsupport from established player (selffunding), support from a fund or from a big company (ie: wants to buy you)
unfinished: (adj.)
It's a valid point. Perl adds an overhead which is hidden and that you come to discover when someone else has to maintain the code.
It's real like it not not. Perl is easy/fast to write and hard/slow to maintain.
unfinished: (adj.)
Credits: anonymous
/. since 7/8/02
"Mmmm... this feels good..." I sighed.
"Shhh!" hissed Hemos. "We don't want Mark to come in here!"
True. Having Hemos's 16 year-old brother walk in on us at that moment would not be good. I didn't think he'd be too cool with finding his 12 year-old brother lying naked with me, holding my 11 year-old dick in his hands. But, in all fairness, my hands were eagerly playing with Hemos's dick and balls at that moment, too.
Hemos's mom and dad had gone to the drive-in, leaving his big brother in charge. In our favor, leaving Mark in charge pretty much guaranteed that we weren't to bother him, and in turn, he'd leave us alone unless we were making too much noise or breaking something. Well, we were being careful to keep quiet because we very much wanted to be left alone.
We were in Hemos's twin bed, snuggled under the covers with our underwear pushed down to the foot of the bed. The only illumination in the room came from the faint sliver of light that crept in under his bedroom door. Even in the shadows I could make out the shape of my friend; about my height, but heavier. (Hell, I was such a skinny runt that everyone was heavier than me.) Hemos had a crew-cut of white-blonde hair, and was only starting to sprout some pubic hair. But, you had to feel for it because what little pubic hair he possessed was as blonde as the short hair on his hea and could not yet be seen by even a minimal distance.
And, I was happily feeling for it, running my hands all over Hemos's slightly larger erection and fondling his larger testicles while he courteously stroked my dick. I could tell that he didn't possess the same enthusiasm for cockplay as I did, unless you count his appreciation for the attention devoted to his member. And I knew that my willingness to satisfy his sexual urges was one of the few reasons he even had me sleep over at his place. But, I didn't let that stop me from finding pleasure in the handling of his meat.
I'd recently had an "introduction", of sorts, to seeing what someone could do with a man's dick with their mouth. While spending the night with my Uncle Jerry a couple weeks before, while I watched in secret, I was treated to a visual display of the intensity and unabashed pleasure that my uncle had obviously enjoyed having another man suck on his cock. From that moment on, I had a yearning that I needed to satisfy. With who was my only question.
I guess it was time to find out.
"I... heard that sucking on it feels even better than playing with it." I ventured.
In the darkness, I could feel a slight jerk of revulsion in Hemos's body.
"Put a dick in your mouth?" he croaked.
"Well, " I countered, my heart pounding with anxiety, "I think adults do it all the time."
"Well, I'm not gonna do it!" Hemos hissed. "That's homo stuff!"
"Yeah." I sighed disappointedly, while still playing with Hemos's dick. "I guess it is."
As I stroked his shaft in a steadier, milking rhythm, I could sense Hemos's breaths getting quicker. His manipulations of my dick began to falter as I could feel his body tense beside me. His hips rocked slightly in time with my pumping of his cock, and I cradled his balls tenderly in my other hand. When any attentions to my own dick has completely ebbed, I knew what was about to happen, so I picked up the pace just a bit more while lending a touch more pressure in my grip. Finally, Hemos's breath caught in his throat, and he turned his face fully into his pillow to stifle the moans that broke free as his cock pulsed and throbbed in a dry orgasm within my hands. I continued to massage him and didn't release him from my grasp until his member had gone fully soft.
"Man," sighed Hemos dreamily after finally catching his breath. "You are so good at that, CmdrTaco."
At least I had something to be proud of, I guess, as my friend gently withdrew himself from me and rolled onto his back.
Even though I was only eleven, the irony of Hemos's words and actions were not lost on me. My sucking on him would have been a "homo" thing, but beating him off was okay. Go figure. Within the few moments I had spent mulling over the irony of the thoughts, Hemos had drifted off to sleep. I slipped out from under the covers and down to the cool floor so I could masturbate without shaking the bed. As I toyed with my own dick, I imagined Hemos's cock in my mouth, wondering if the chance would ever really come. Finally, my own climax washed over me, and I got back into the bed.
I don't sleep real well to begin with, and even worse when I'm not in my own bed. And now, with the thoughts of a dick so close to me, as well as the vivid memories of secretly seeing man-to-man cocksucking pleasure floating through my prepubescent, sex-filled brain, I was not about to fall asleep anytime soon. Lying awake until around 11:30, I finally decided that I needed to do something to satisfy my hungers, or I'd never be able to let it rest. The trick was in finding the guts to follow through.
I knew that whenever Hemos fell asleep, he pretty much stayed asleep. So, since he was sleeping soundly, lying on his back, I took a deep breath and gingerly ducked my head under the covers and scooted down as much as I could to the foot of the bed. That put my head right at Hemos's hip level. I raised my head and upper body to help create a tent over his crotch. Sniffing around, I found the faint scent of young penis flesh. I inhaled deeply, both in the love of the scent, and in an attempt to slow my pounding heart. I opened my mouth wide over the area where I sensed Hemos's dick to be, and lowered my mouth squarely over his soft cock and balls until I could feel his sparse pubic hairs tickling my cheek. I finally had a dick in my mouth! I just wasn't sure what I'd do if Hemos woke to find his "homo" friend in this situation.
I remained like that for a long moment, partially in fear of trying anything more, and partly to savor the moment. I carefully let my tongue start to explore his tender penile flesh, enjoying the texture. Then came the excitement that welled within me as his cock began to respond to my attentions and harden in my warm and wet mouth! Butterflies seemed to explode in my stomach and drown out my heartbeat as I felt his dick get to its full size in my mouth. Concentrating in that dark environment, I found myself beginning to identify the shape of his member by taste. The shaft actually seemed to taste different than the head, and the thin skin of his scrotum seemed to harbor another distinct flavor.
I started to softly suck on Hemos's dick, becoming fascinated at how it just seemed to, well, 'fit' in my mouth... how the head lent itself to the back of my tongue, and how the shaft rested between my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My excitement was so great that my own recently satisfied dick was responding again, inviting me to play. I was sucking a cock, and I was in heaven!
However, within seconds, Hemos seemed to get restless. In fear, I quickly pulled my mouth away from Hemos's candy stick and held still. The covers rustled, and pulled back.
"Whatcha doin'?" mumbled Hemos.
"I... uh... was trying to find my shorts down here," I lied, starting to fumble near our feet. Well, partial lie, because it was a good idea to do so, anyway, and now was as good a time as any.
"Oh, yeah," said Hemos. "Get mine, too, willya?"
"S-sure" I stammered, relieved.
I located the two items of clothing and scooted back up towards the head of the bed. Thankfully, our underwear were pretty easy to distinguish since Hemos wore boxers, and I wore briefs. We both fumbled to put them on in the dark, and then settled back into the bed. I lay stiffly on my back, still harboring some fear that my friend discovered more than he let on, but Hemos simply rolled onto his side, facing away from me, and promptly went back to sleep.
And, here I was again, so close to my fantasies, yet still so far.
And very much awake.
After hearing the clock in the hallway chime midnight, I finally got up to go to the bathroom. Figuring it was late enough not to be an issue, and since even if Hemos's parents were home that they would be in their own bedroom downstairs, I didn't bother to slip on my pants for the short trip down the hall. I walked softly to the bedroom door, and then stepped out into the hallway, illuminated dimly by a bare-bulb night light. I walked past big brother Mark's door to the bathroom at the end of the hall and turned on the light as I shut the door.
Peeing into the toilet, I looked up at my reflection in the large mirror and smiled slyly to myself. I actually sucked on a dick, even if for only a moment! At that moment I was Rob Maldo, secret agent double-O-seven, who could sneak in and suck a dick, and sneak away without being caught!
I flushed the toilet and switched out the light as I headed back down the hall. Slipping past Mark's door once again, the door flew open, and a hand covered my mouth while a muscular arm snapped around my waist and drew me into the room. Squirming in the arms of Hemos's athletic older brother was a waste of effort, and he only squeezed harder until I settled down.
"You'll keep quiet if you know what's good for you,' growled Mark into my ear. "You gonna be quiet?"
I nodded. Mark let go of my mouth and reached over to close his bedroom door, the other hand and arm still holding me firmly with my feet off the ground. I heard something click, and recalled, and not without a certain amount of childish fear, that Mark had a lock on his door.
The room had a yellowish glow from the large lava lamp next to Mark's bed. He took me over to the bed and tossed me face down onto it, kneeling next to me. I thought briefly about trying to get up and run, but to where?
When I felt Mark's hands on me again, I was determined to fight him off, but I was no match for him as he flipped me onto my back and straddled me, sitting squarely on my upper chest, his knees pinning my shoulders and my arms locked between his legs. I gazed up at his lean, muscled torso, his stern blue eyes under a tussled mane of reddish-blonde hair. I could feel the soft fabric of his boxers against my chin.
"Can't get up, can ya?" he said, grinning down at me, all snide and victorious.
I struggled a bit, more out of obligation, but knew it was no use. Mark was just too big for me.
"Whatsamatter?" huffed Mark. "You too weak to fight? Or, maybe you just like laying there, sniffing dicks?"
I started squirming a bit harder, but Mark's legs only clamped tighter. At least he had scooted down a bit, and was no longer suffocating me with his weight on my chest.
"Yeah! Maybe you're a homo-boy who just likes sniffing dicks. Maybe you wanna sniff my big dick?"
I didn't care for where this was going, and I wasn't too comfortable with the tone of Mark's voice. But, I was also not being given much of a choice in the matter. Especially when Mark reached into the fly of his boxers and pulled out his cock.
"Here you are, homo-boy... a nice, fresh big-man dick!" grinned Mark fiendishly. "Ain't it a beaut?"
He held it out for me, then leaned forward and started to rub his cock on my face, tracing my cheeks and nose with the bulbous head. His testicles soon followed his dick through the opening, until they were dangling on my chin, the coarse pubes tickling my lips. Their faint musky scent began to fill my nostrils.
"CmdrTaco's just a little dick-faced homo-boy, ain't he?" sneered Mark, sliding his cock across my face. "I saw you in there, your head under the covers. What were you doing? Giving my little brother a blow job?"
I didn't answer. I was at once shocked at the thought of having been discovered, and confused by Mark's remark. I then guessed that he meant sucking a dick was called a 'blow job'. But... you're not blowing, you're sucking, and-
"You were, weren't you, you little homo!"
It was obvious what had happened; that Mark had looked in on us to find my head under the blankets. I thought I had sensed a miniscule change in the light, but assumed that to be part of my excitement. That must have been what woke Hemos up so suddenly.
"So, maybe you aren't just dick-faced, " he said, rubbing his cock on my face again. "Maybe you're a dick sucker!" He leaned forward, mashing his hairy ball sack into my nose, then pulling back to trace my features again with his member. But, even as Mark taunted me, treating his cock as a threatening weapon, there was something else happening.
He was getting a boner.
And as I closed my eyes, I could feel his cock thickening against my face. I could sense the heat of his hardening dick directly on my flesh. And, I found I was enjoying the sensations of this older cock against my face. There would soon be no way of hiding the fact that I was getting excited, too.
"So, dick-sucker-CmdrTaco... you're gonna suck my dick, now."
My eyes sprung open to see Mark's fully erect cock pointing at my face. While it wasn't huge (I had already seen 'huge' with my Uncle Jerry), it was still big enough to scare me.
And excite me to no end.
"Open wide, homo-boy."
Without another moment of hesitation, or taking my eyes off of Mark's sleek tool, I opened my mouth as wide as I could and watched as he leaned down and slid that beautiful cock into my waiting mouth. I then settled my tongue against the bottom half of his shaft while I could feel the upper half press against the roof of my mouth. Its texture was soft, yet hard; smooth, yet distinct.
"There," he sighed. "Now, you have a real dick to suck on. Now, get started, suck-boy!"
It was so much bigger than Hemos's young dick, I wasn't sure if I could get enough suction worked up to suck on it. It was then that I found out what sucking a cock is really all about: friction.
Mark held the base of his dick to guide himself and started to pump into my mouth, sliding his dick in and out of my salivating lips. He would slip in precariously between my teeth until he was near to choke me, then pull back out until the base of the bulbous head was just close to popping free from my lips, held in place by the suction of my mouth. Then he... we... would do it all over again... over and over... and gloriously over again.
"Oh, you are good, CmdrTaco," he moaned softly. "You suck cock real good."
I don't know about that; it seemed he was doing all the real work. But, I wanted it to be good. I wanted to have this dick in my mouth. And I wanted it again and again. I was definitely enjoying the oral sensations as his near-adult dick worked back and forth in my hungry mouth, and I wanted so much to please him so he would want my mouth again.
Mark placed his other hand on the top of my head to steady me as his thrusts became a little more erratic. His breath quickened, and I could sense that he was trying hard not to ram himself all the way down my throat and choke me. He was making little grunts with each thrust, and I could feel his dick turn to stone in my mouth when, in a mix of fear and excitement, I suddenly recalled what would happen next.
"Oh, baby... oh, fuck..."
Mark's movements got all quick and jerky. I was almost afraid to breathe.
"OHHHH!!!" he moaned, pulling out of my mouth and letting loose with a burst of white goo that seemed to splatter all over as he pumped his dick with his fist. My head still held firmly in his other hand, the warm liquid flew partly into my still open mouth, and all over my nose and eyebrows. I swallowed briefly, not sure whether to gag or hope for more, tasting fully the salty and musky liquid, then opened my mouth once more as Mark stuck his creaming cock back in and worked the thick fluid throughout my young mouth.
I sucked until Mark went soft and withdrew his spent dick. He smiled down at me, obviously proud of what he had done. He finally got off of me (good thing since I thought my arms were going to fall off) and stood there for a moment, an interesting picture with his hands on his hips, and his drained cock and balls hanging out of the fly of his plaid boxers. I just lay there with his juices clinging to my skin, wanting to do it all over again.
Mark bent down and picked up a t-shirt, and proceeded to wipe the remainder of his goo off my face. Finished with that, he tossed the shirt into a hamper and walked over to his bedroom door to unlock it as he tucked his manhood back into his underwear.
"You better get back into Hemos's bed before mom and dad find you here," he said softly.
I reluctantly got off Mark's bed and walked to the door. As I was about to exit, he reached out to stop me briefly.
"You liked that, didn't you, homo-boy?"
I nodded, not sure where he was going with this inquiry.
"Your first taste of cum?"
I shrugged, then nodded again.
"If you're good, maybe I'll let you suck my dick again some time, CmdrTaco. Now, get your ass out of here before I kick it."
I stepped out of the room and felt the door close harshly behind me. I could still taste traces of Mark's cum in my mouth, could still sense the friction of his cock on my tongue. I smiled in remembrance.
I was hooked.
- Trolling
All you need to fund Open Source Software is to donate it to non profit organizations - ie United Way, Federal or State Governments, or better the EFF - and get them to issue a receipt.
In the hands of an otherwise employed programmer, tax exempt donations can be worth 75% of face value.
Just change the GPL or (Insert favorite open source license here) to include a requirement that non-profit organizations must provide donation receipts in exchange for the use of said software.
This in essense will cause the US government to foot the development - which is exactly waht it should do!
AIL
It wasn't intended as a troll, I can assure you!
I am indeed not a perl programmer, but only because I believe that code has a life beyond its original developer. I have maintained a large body (corpse?) of perl in the past. Most of it was designed and written by a very clever person who certainly knew his stuff. Now, this is definately a perl thing, because his C was perfectly readable even by our most junior coders.
When the original developer left his job, no-one could penetrate the perl he had written. It took us weeks just to make simple changes without breaking everything. In the end, the managment decided to let us re-write it to improve long-term productivity. The end result? Even our most junior programmers could make meaningful contributions, resulting in faster development, bug fixing and ultimately satisfaction all round.
Now I am thinking about it, in my current company we once had to throw out the perl written by a particular person - and he claimed to write elegant code, too. In all my years, I have never seen this happen to C.
Perl gurus, don't forget that you are few and we are many. Look to the bell-curve - the owners of your output do.
You have been trolled. You have lost. Have a nice day.
Custer's Revenge: The greatest video
Under "Re:What's left to do?"
Why the fucken hell was this above marked as "flaimbait"!?!?!?!
Come back here and defend yourself, coward!!!
Hiding implementation is a common theme in software engineering (usually in OOP, but not limited to), and in practice I have outgrown hard-wired simpler structures in need of something more powerful. For example, starting out with a hash (associative array), and then needed more columns later. One could turn the value into a pointer to another array, however, we would then have to change our syntax for any references to the existing value to handle the double array. Thus, we have a "scaling cascade" WRT changes.
Somebody needs to moderate the moderators. They are hit-and-run retards at times.
Table-ized A.I.
Tonight way going to be awesome. I just got home from work, took a shower, and now i was putting on my favorite outfit! It was Friday night and no one was going to stop me from having a good time tonight. I met up with some of my friends at a gas station down the street. We decided to hit a few clubs, then afterwards, if we didnt hook up with anyone, we were going to go to our favorite bar "Shouters". We had the whole night planned out. We were planning to be feeling the effects of tonight until late sunday evening, hopefully not monday when we all had to go back to work. So we all jumped in the cars and drove over to the strip. We went into a few clubs. danced with a few woman, but the clubs just were not jumpin tonight for some reason. We all began to grow bored of dancing and the loud music, so we all decided to go over to Shouters earlier then what we were planning. We started off with a few beers, then we all just said fuck it, and started ordering the hard shit. After a few shots, and a lot more drinks, I was completely waisted! My friends were not as messed up as i was. So i was sittin there for a while and this dude walks in. He walks right behind me and some how he hit me in the back of the head. I didnt know or care if it was accidental, but I jumped up and started to beat the shit out of this guy. My friend all pulled me off of him and the bartender told me to get the hell out of his bar! I told my friends to stay there and finish there drinks. I would be outside waiting for them. I had to piss so bad, and the only place that was open at that time around there was the bar, and since i couldnt go back in there, i had to look for a place outside. I saw an alley on the side of the building, and decided that I should just go into the alley and do my business. So i unzip my mants, pulled out my dick and proceeded to take a piss right there in the alley. After a few seconds i could hear foot steps behind me. "Hey you know you can get arrested for that!" I heard the voice say. "Fuck off" i told him, and kept going. The footsteps got closer, and as i turned to look, i could see that this guy was huge. about 6'5" 260lbs of hard muscle! I squeezed out the last few drops of piss and the guy grabbed my arms and held them tightly behind me. "
What the hell are you doin!" He grabbed my dick. "Here let me shake it for ya" He dragged me further down the alley. I was trying to yell for help, but it was now use, He put his huge hand over my mouth. No one could hear me. He took me inside a door that led into a room with an old mattress laying on the floor. I was terrified! I didnt know what this guy was going to do with me. He took out some handcuffs and cuffed me to some poles that were on the wall. I was laying on the mattress with my hands cuffed to a pole. I was thinking that maybe he was some weirdo that wanted to torture me! I started to sweat profusely. He came over to me and told me to shut the fuck up. He gagged me so i couldnt yell or say anything. He started to pull my jeans off. Then he slid my boxers off. He walked over to a table and grabbed a pare of scissors. I was terrified. I thought this guy was about to cut my dick off. I tried to scream and yell, but it was no use, the gag was doing its job. No one could hear me. I sighed as he brought the scissors closer and he started to cut my shirt. I had never been so relieved in my life. He cut my shirt off, and i was laying there on the old matress completely nude, gagged and bound to the poles on the wall. He started to take his clothes off. He was completely naked. His body was well muscled, with very light hair on his chest and stomach. His dick was huge! the biggest i had ever seen before!! It was as big around as a beer can and about 7" long, and it wasnt even hard yet! He started to play with himself, attempting to get himself hard i suppose. I saw this thing grow into a fucking monster! It was about a foot long, if not longer, and this thing was so thick!!! He walked over to me and flipped me onto my stomach. I saw him reach for a bottle of something, but i couldnt make out what it was. I felt something wet and cold drizzling onto my ass. He grabbed my ass and spread me wide open. He started to rub this stuff all over my asshole. I almost started to cry as i had figured he was going to stick his huge cock in my ass!!! I was so terrified i think that my pubes where turning grey! I felt his fingers rubbing my ass. All of a sudden i just started getting all these emotions and feeling that i had never had before! I mean sure i have thought about being with another guy before, but what guy hasnt. So as i was laying there with him completely in control, I started to get very aroused. I couldnt believe what was happening.
This guy was about to rape me and i was enjoying it! As he rubbed my asshole i just gave in to the pleasure. My cock started to grow and i pushed my ass upward more so i could get my ass open a little more. Then it happened, he plunged one of his fingers into my ass. Oh my it felt amazing. The feeling was indescribable. I started to moan and buck my ass up and down. Then i felt another finger violate my rectum. I figured that he was loosening me up for his huge pecker. Then he pulled out, and i felt it! It huge cock was at the entrance to my pink virgin bung! I felt him thrust his hips forward, and with one single push the head of his cock was inside of me. The pain was so immense, i thought that he had to of done some major damage to my ass. Then he pushed it all the way in. I started to buck and wiggle my body. it hurt so bad that i had tears running down my face. the pain was immense! Just try shoving a bear can up your virgin ass and tell me how it feels. As this guy was violating my rectum, all i could think about was how hot i was getting. My lust was overriding the pain. It started to feel so amazing having his huge prick inside of me. I couldnt believe what was happening. Oh my god, i had never in my entire life felt something as good as this huge dick being plunged deep into my ass. Then he pulled out. He turned me on my back and saw how hard i was. He asked me if i was enjoying him fucking me like a bitch!. I told him that i was and he knelt down in between my legs. He took my 8" cock into his mouth and began to suck it like a pro! as he was sucking me he was ramming his finger in my ass. I started to moan. It felt so good to have another man sucking me. I started to cum like i had never came before. He just kept his mouth right over my cock and took every bit of my seed into his mouth. he pushed himself up with his massive arms and took the gag from my mouth. He leaned his face towards me and began to stick his tongue in my mouth.
My cum was still in his mouth. the taste was incredible. this was the first time that i had ever in my life tasted cum. I had never even thought about it before. As many times as i had the chance to do it before, i just never though about doing it. But i loved every minute of it. I savored the taste of my cum and his tongue in my mouth. I felt chills going up and down my spine as this fucking hunk had his tongue rammed down my throat. The he grabbed my legs and threw them over his shoulders. He spread my ass again and inserted his huge piece of meat! I moaned and gasped as he shoved it back into my warm man hole. Oh it felt so good. I told him to fuck me like the little bitch that i was. Fuck me until you fill my ass full of your white creamy jism!! He started to fuck me so hard. It was amazing. He started to jerk me off as he was fucking me. Just a few jerks and i was cumming again. All over his stomach and chest. my cum was flying everywhere. I had never came like this before.
This was the best sex i had ever had in my life! I saw his face turn bright red, and his body began to shake. He let out a huge gasp and then he moaned so loud. He must have squirted a fucking gallon of cum into my ass. He was jerking for what seemed like 2 minutes straight, when he finally finished he dropped over on top of me and told me that it was the best he had ever had!. He told me how tight i was and how he loved ripping me open!. I told him that it was the best fucking sex i had ever had. He said that he didnt want me to have any hard feelings. it was just that he liked what he saw, and he takes what he likes. I told him that it wasnt a problem, after all. How can you rape the willing?......