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Machinima Festival and News
Hugh Hancock writes: "Machinima (real-time 3D film-making in game engines, what used to be called 'Quake Movies') has a bit of a grab-bag day today -- the New York Times (registration, blah) is running an article on it, prompted by the announcement of the first Machinima-only film festival, sponsored by NVidia!"
FFFFFFPPP!!!!!
fisting pist motherfuckers!!!!!!!!!
What's the fun in watching interactive movies? The thing is that you walk around by yourself to get a 'personal experience'. Its like watching someone else play Quake; a lot of people get sick from that..
--
Why dont we all just subscribe to the NY Times? Then we won't need to read slashdot.
Check out WatchMeDance! Dancing in the streets rocks!
http://www.machinima.org/i/WS_FTP.LOG
Joke to cheer up your dull day!
A dialog of a former WP Customer Support employee:
"Wordperfect Customer Support; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables
plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still
have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
That you make movies out of somebody elses hard work and then claim the pie. I may be wrong, but the fact is there is simply nothing gr8 about these, atleast i didnt like it that much that it should have a mention on slashdot!
My Aurora : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o91ZsGwJYyg
FB : https://www.facebook.com/TanveersPhotography
Whats black, blue and green and doesnt like sex?
The Girl Scout locked in my basement.
Whats the worst part about having sex with a six year-old?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Whats the best thing about getting a hand job from a five year-old?
That little hand makes your thing look really huge.
Guy comes home from work to find his girlfriend sitting on the porch, crying.
Whats wrong, honey?
Im leaving you! I just found out youre a pdophile!
Pdophile? Why, thats a pretty big word for a ten year-old.
How can you tell when your sisters on her period?
When your dads dick tastes like blood!
Two pdophiles are lying on a beach tanning, one turns to the other and says, Excuse me, youre in my son.
What is the sickest sound you hear when fucking a nine year-old?
Her hips snapping!
What is the best sound you hear when fucking a 13 year-old?
Her hips snapping!
Whats 18 inches long, blue, veiny, and makes a woman cry?
Crib death.
How could the mans seven year-old son tell that his dad had fucked his eight year-old sister? His dads weiner tasted like blood!
Watson returns home to find Holmes in bed with a child. He shouts, Is this some sort of a schoolgirl?
Holmes replies, Elementary, my dear Watson.
So I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I decided I wanted to get kinky and try and do her in the ass. So I slipped around back; she looked over her shoulder at me and said, My, how presumptuous of you. I said, Presumptuous? Thats a big word for a ten year-old.
Two guys are walking down the street when a beautiful woman passes. The first guy says, Damn! Id love to tear her clothes off, do her in the rear, smear my fces all over her, slice off her breasts, chop her into little pieces, put her in a garbage bag and toss her into the river!
Second guy says, Yuck! Youre a sick bastard!
First guy says, Whatre you? A fag?
A kindergarten teacher is asking the kids what their father does for a living. All the kids answer except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks Little Johnny what his Dad does and Johnny replies, My dad is dead.
The teacher says, Thats terribile, but what did he do before he died?
Little Johnny replies, He turned blue and shit all over himself!
A guy calls in sick to work.
Whats wrong? asks the boss.
Im sick, the guy replies.
You sound all right.
No, Im really sick. Believe me.
Listen, you were fine yesterday, and we have a lot of work today. I want you in here. You cant be that sick!
Dude, I just banged my sister. Dont tell me Im not sick.
A little girl accompanied her father to the barbershop. While her dad received a haircut, the little girl stood next to the barber chair, enjoying a snack cake. The barber smiled at her and said, Sweetheart, youre going to get hair on your Twinkie.
I know, the little girl replied. Im gonna get tits, too.
An older man and a small boy walk hand in hand through the woods.
Boy: These woods sure are spooky!
Man: You think youre scared, Ive gotta walk out of here alone.
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
One walked on the moon, and the other rapes little boys.
Has anyone read Michael Jacksons new book, The Ins and Outs of Child Rearing?
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: I dont cum all over the golden delicious apple before I take a bite out of it.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I dont kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You cant fuck a table.
Q: Whats special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What do you have when you have four dead babies, take away two, and add five more?
A: An orgy!
Q: Whats better than three 14 year-olds?
A: 14 three year-olds.
Q: Whats white and bobs up and down in a babys crib?
A: A pdophiles ass.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby?
A: With a condom.
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples.
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: Theyre fun to ride until they die.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead babys jaw?
A: Deep throat.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: Whats the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead babys hips crack under pressure!
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: Whats worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.
Whats better than sex with a twelve year-old boy?
Absolutely nothing.
- posted by poopbot: lovely snot! wonderful snot!
ncsakUSyhZ Post #347
Oh, quick note since the last Machinima-related post on /. attracted some comments - Machinima.com has been redesigned, now with Actually Usable(TM) technology!
mod this as flame bait I don't care, but why the hell is this crap getting onto slashdot? Did someone NET get enough cafeen?? GO TO THINKGEEK NOW! You crackmonkeys aren't awake enought!
For those who cant, wont or dont want to register
ID : spamfree3
PW : spamfree
I just finished watching Hearts of Atlantis, excellent movie, I recommend that anyone who hasn't read the book or seen it, go get out the movie now.
And heck, im young, and it still was a reflective movie. Sheesh.
I have watched A Warrior's Life and Hard Workin'. The first has a good plot, but is a little slow-paced. The second is IMHO just a laughmaker, but its graphics looks good. I think they are worth watching if you have the time (and the bandwidth to download them), especially Quake* level designers, modellers, etc.
Brilliant article. Very intrerresting and has me interrested in looking for such films. It seems I'll reopen my Quake 1 box soon. :-)
The only gripe I have about the article is about this snippet of text :
For instance, one might put a terrorist's head on an opponent's body.
That, my friends, is bad journalism. Stop thinking 9/11 and give the rest of the world a rest and stop adding terrorist consipiracies and references to everything you write.
Even tough I sympatize with the american people about the tragic events of 9/11, please lighten up and realize that there has been people who've cried for longer and harder than you in a lot of countries devastated by war and terrorism and that it took you two towers and the death thousands of rich americans to realize the horror of MILLIONS of poor 3rdworld habitants.
Sometimes, I think that americans put more value on their life than other people. It's not rare that thousands of people get killed in a week in some countries due to terrorist activities. But you never hear of them, and you people don't care. But 2000 rich americans, oh... this is much more important.
I'd like to have someone prove me wrong on this... and someone who will say other things than "F*** YOU, A**HOLE." But maybe that changed with 9/11, and you people finally fell back from your cloud.
Welcome to the real world.
Think about it. You spend the time creating the backgrounds and characters (basically "cells" for animation, in a sense), and then you direct their movements and so-forth. Sure, there have been home animators for years making their own cartoons, but aren't most cartoons done on computers these days? I just think it is great that someone is making the computer one more way to express themselves. Last wave was the home musicians, now movie makers. What next?
Never hit your grandmother with a shovel, for it leaves a bad impression on her mind...
Really? Did you submit it? You're the only one who likes it!
Is there some relationship here? This is the second article today with a shameless plug for them, not that I have a problem with NVIDIA, I just hope we are getting the real news, and not news that is adworthy
Unreal Tournament 2003 will be a great boon to machinema artists, from what I've seen. During their UT2003 Mod Summit, they previewed a lot their tools for movie and cut-scene production. Matinee is the UT2k3 component that movie makers will be able to use in order to execute tailored bot scripts and set up special time- or animation-related notifications to trigger specific events. I'm not really into that kind of stuff myself, but what I saw did look very useful and very powerful. Now if we can all get easy access to the kind of motion-capture systems the industry has....
"Prejudice is wrong; you should hate everyone the same."
Americans are obviously the scum of the Earth, and there's really no reason to bring up that point unless an American provokes you.
Wasn't there supposed to be a Doom motion picture released sometime ago? Another vehicle for The Rock. Hmm, I think I'll have to skip that. I'll just stick to the Doom books.
word.
but what i'd like to see is a way that anyone who makes a truly good movie will actually get attention for it without becoming the MPAA's bitch or getting slammed for so much bandwith that they have to take it offline.
In SOVIET RUSSIA... erm...NSA AMERICA, the Internet logs onto YOU!
When I had AI, my professor was working on a project using the unreal tournament engine. The idea was to have scripted events triggers, and an evolving storyline affected by the viewer who is allowed the most freedom the engine allows. The demo shown in class was an aquarium where the 'plaques' were generated on the fly using some basic facts, in whatever language the user requested. The plaques never looked the same .("Sigh... Times are tough..."). That would kick serious ass.
twice and always offered different facts. The english sentences generated were pretty good and convincing enough to think things were scripted, but weren't. Character actions and dialog are not scripted, but instead they have a knowledge base and goals and rules of how goals can be acheived that influence their speech and action. Truly a gargantuan project but really neat to see it in action. Agents showed visible pauses at decision points in the demo. I have a friend who still works on the project with the college. Now this sort of stuff could make for some really interesting experiences when brought to its ultimate incarnation. Currently it requires three high-end systems to run, and even then the pauses are rather annoying, but given time this could be really exciting. Imagine an RPG with this technology where NPCs have goals and knowledge bases instead of scripts...
XML is like violence. If it doesn't solve the problem, use more.
I always thought they should have live online machinima puppet shows where audience members could shout out suggestions for scenes.
That way, when they suggest that an accountant and his dog visit a volcano in Hawaii. You could actually see an accountant and his dog at a volcano in Hawaii. Or the machinima version of it.
Such is the infinite Grace of Popeye.
I highly recommend watching Quake Done Quicker. These guys beat Quake 1 in 12 minutes.. and there are plenty of trick moves to keep the audience entertained... definitely not boring.
'When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.' -HST
Now, more of the technical problems have been overcome, and there's real potential for this. It's going to be a cheap medium. You have to use people who can act and have good voices, of course.
One of the main points people are missing re: the machinima process and what IMHO will be the revolutionary aspect of it when it really hits, is that it's a "real-time 3D animation rendering process." That means no compositing and no rendering. That means possibly shaving 30-40% off of animation production times. That means saving money for TV and video production companies (not film production, not yet). And that means I get to make a living from my favorite past-time, computer gaming (and I can tell all those old girlfriends who gave me grief about the amount of time I spent gaming to kiss my...).
The other cool aspect is that it's bottom-up, grassroots tech vs. the high end mo-cap suits and big, number crunching, parallel machines. I love that. It gives me a chubby. I like having a chubby.
Now, if only some of those big fish in Hollywood TV land would take a bite *dangling a machinima budget from a fish hook*. Come one, just a nibble.
P.S. re: quality of the artwork--high in-game quality, did you see the Doom III demo? Amazing! Low TV quality that does just fine, have you ever watched South Park or Beavis and Butthead? Nuff said.
ILL Bixby
www.illclan.com
Makes of the award winning short "Hardly Workin'"
How bout posting some links to actual machinima vids?
entity based demo save, multiple demo play.
This way, you can save a actor at a time, then
"play" all the actors joins.. saving then as
a full movie.
-Woof woof woof!