Techies On Ice: The Coming Age of Cryonics

Frozen dinner writes: "SiliconValley.com is running a great article about technology workers' fascination with cryonics. From the article: "[the] otherworldly possibility of life after death [tantalizes] techies of all stripes -- mathematicians, physicists, software developers, computer programmers -- who make up a vast majority of those who have signed up for cryonics suspension. The family feud over deep-freezing baseball slugger Ted Williams has only intensified interest in cryonics in Silicon Valley and in the greater Bay Area, already a hotbed for the experimental and controversial process.""

Comments

"already a hotbed..."

[dolface]

maybe not the best term?

Choice of words

[Hollinger]

"A hotbed for the experimental & controversial process..."

Wouldn't that be the worst place to put a frozen body?

COBOL programmers.

[ambisinistral]

I've suggested to our management that we freeze our COBOL programmers. When we needed one, we could unthaw them.

Re:COBOL programmers.

[Lxy]

doesn't unthaw mean to freeze?

Yes, this just goes to show how messed up the english language is. At some point in time, it became acceptible to unthaw our frozen dinners.
For more examples of how messed up we really are, take a look at this forward I received not long ago (source unknown):

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he decided it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
To help with the planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing a tear in the painting, I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

quicksand can work slowly
boxing rings are square
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, yet a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Yes, in American English, your house can burn up as it burns down, you fill out a form by filling it in, and an alarm goes off by going on.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible; when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Uh?

[SpanishInquisition]

I don't have a life now, how could I get one when I'm dead?

Suddenly, I'm craving Otter Pops�

[Anonymous Coward]

Mmmmm...Otter Pops®.

Think about it...

[ErikTheRed]

Ummm.... you all do realize that the entire cryonics industry is a plot conceived by time-travelling cannibals from the future to ensure an endless supply of TV-Dinners....

Re:The bit I don't understand:

[Hayzeus]

But we're talking about severed heads being preserved here. No heart, lungs, pancreas, liver, kidneys, etc...

I can think of lots of uses for severed heads:

• Paperweights
• Hood ornaments (perfectly complements that sleek car of the future)
• Vases
• Remove that pesky skin, hollow out the skulls and they'll make fabulous, "offbeat" coffee mugs

Cryonic funeral service.

[Crusty Oldman]

I went to a funeral service for someone who was being put into cryonic suspension. It was unlike any I had been to before. Everyone sat around a piano and sang "freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow..."

If I am revived from cryo-stasis, I will have....

[CascaLonginus101]

....BILLIONS of days to sit under the trees of a MILLION planets.

Re:Ice crystals?

[ErikTheRed]

Teddy in the Vat
July 2002

The outlook, it was dismal for the Joyville nine that day
The year was 2502, one inning left to play.
The fan base had eroded so, this game would be the last.
The onetime national pastime's time, alas, had finally passed.

A somber group of gravediggers were warming up their arms.
They prepared to bury baseball, the big teams and the farms.
A-grieving in the bleachers the remaining faithful sat.
"If only we could liberate Ted Williams from his vat!"

For baseball's mighty slugger had been frozen when he died.
They froze his sacred arms and wrists, they froze his rugged hide.
They froze him in the hope that he might someday un-retire.
But no one thought the sport itself would sicken, then expire.

And then from many thousand throats there rose as one, a breath.
A gasp of shock, surprise and glee, of victory o'er death.
For in the batter's circle, for the multitudes to greet
In suspended animation, there hung Williams by his feet.

There was frost upon his biceps as they opened up his case.
Liquid nitrogen was dripping from the creases on his face.
How the faithful cheered their legend as the slugger was unpacked.
How he tipped his hat to greet them! How his knees and elbows cracked!

Now he stood there stiffly legged as the light began to die.
The pitcher hurled a bullet. Williams watched as it went by.
The catcher muttered softly, "You took that one like a chump."
"I'm adjusting to the temperature," he said. "Strike!" said the ump.

The tumult from the bleachers was amazing to behold.
Not a fan among them noticed that the bat was green with mold.
Now his eyes returned an icy glare, he curled his frozen lip.
Now his red socks were de-icing. Now his cap began to drip.

Then came another missive from that demon on the mound,
Showing every indication it would splutter to the ground.
But then it rose, Phoenix-like, 'til level with his belt.
"Strike two!" the umpire said, as Williams felt his shoulders melt.

In the catered suites around the park the corporate sponsors groaned.
In the press box doing play-by-play, the glib announcers moaned.
In the stands, prevailing wisdom was, the greatest one had choked.
At the plate, the catcher noticed that the batter's box was soaked.

For the frost upon the slugger's brow had turned into a slush.
His uniform was sodden and his mitt was leather mush.
And now the pitcher holds the ball, and now it's on its way.
And now the air's alive with a ferocious swing and spray.

Oh somewhere there's a field of dreams with bleachers by the surf.
And somewhere bands are playing on some soggy outfield turf.
Although mostly it is dusty by the plate where umpires shout,
There's a pool of mud in Joyville, for Ted Williams has thawed out.

Dale Connally (With apologies to Ernest L. Thayer.)

Re:The bit I don't understand:

[Anonymous Coward]

If I were a future-person, I think my initial criteria for who would be worth reanimating would include the ability to find the "Shift" key.

And in other news...

[m00nun1t]

In an attempt to cash in on the popularity of cryonics amongst techies, CryoGen Inc. of San Fransisco are now offering a caffeinated blood-replacement coolant.

Re:The bit I don't understand:

[unicron]

I believe the best way I've ever heard cryogenics summed up is "The same people that strive to be immortal are the same people that whine about being bored on a rainy Sunday afternoon."

Re:Cryogenics could be possible

[Graspee_Leemoor]

The follow-up programme showed how on the next day the frog put the researchers in the freezer to see how they fucking liked it.

They died, but the frog has got a large research grant from IBM.

graspee

Re:Defrosting.

[rhanneken]

A solution requiring less miraculous technology would be to slice up the brain and map out the synapse connection patterns and strengths to load into a computer-emulated brain.

I see two problems with that approach.

1. A computer simulation of a mind is not a real mind. At least, we have no reason to believe it is.
2. What you describe would simply be making a copy of someone; the original would still be, shall we say, garbage-collected. What's needed is a way to pass a mind from a person to a computer by reference, not by value. :-)