First Man To Mars?

An anonymous reader writes "Lee Goldberg posted this story which he says is "...the true story of how I sent the first interplanetary necro-cosmonaut to Mars." An entertaining read."

Comments

They should send Bill Gates to Mars

[DocSnyder]

A small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind.

Ira's revenge

[jukal]

sources from outer space just informed me that the project to rebuild Ira from the ashes is almost complete. Martians have only one problem left, the DNA sample sample captured from the ashes is missing cooking instructions for the skull and face and they had to slip in a little bit of martian DNA. Now they are afraid to send Ira back to Earth, not to reveal the true origins of martian codenamed "Mr. Bill Gates."

Re:he's also

[Soulslayer]

Not yet! He's still in international space.

He has to land on a piece of machinery owned by another country sitting on Mars to be an illegal immigrant.

Though anywhere he lands on Mars he'll be an alien.

I can't wait to see the poll here

[cra]

Who do you want to send to Mars:

1. Osama bin Laden should be nuked all the way there
2. George W. Bush - no more stupid quotes
3. Michael Jackson is not of this earth
4. CowboyNeal - phone home

Go IRA?

[calumr]

My shirt was one of another dozen that I'd added one more symbol to. On the sleeve under the crossed fingers were two words, printed in bold letters: "GO IRA!" Back in the launch control complex, Nick wore his GO IRA shirt as well.

You may not want to wear those next time you visit Belfast... Not unless you happen to have any sort of attachment to your kneecaps.

Wow

[Anonymous Coward]

Of course, unbeknownst to the engineer, the I.R.A. module was used to secure the J.A.N.E. Wireing harness, which was actually my wife's braided hair.

Re:'640K RAM is enough for anyone'

[iapetus]

Well, even if we assume that Bill is right on this one, and that he never claimed 640K would be enough, at least there's evidence for my personal favourite Bill Gates quote, as shown in this interview with Herman Hauser:

Q: Do you lie awake at night worrying that you'll be first again , but that someone else will make the money?

A: No [...] I often tell the story that Bill gates was trying to sell me MS-DOS in the early 80s and I had to say "Bill, we can't possibly take such a retrograde step, because our operating system really is an operating system and has many features that MS-DOS doesn't have. [...] schoolboy can type 'I am Johnny' into one of our computers and be logged on through the network to a local fileserver. They can use the same commands to get files down from the server that they've learned with a floppy disk." And Bill's answer to that was, "What's a network?"

Re:what can be said?

[Anonymous Coward]

Excuse me, many Englishmen have been killed by Irish terrorists. Voicing support for them is hurtful to those of us who have lost loved ones.

Imagine how you'd feel if I wrote GO OSAMA! in my comments.

--gazbo

Not only the first Necro-cosmonaut

[fmita]

One might refer to this Ira as an ASHtronaut! Puns should be illegal.

Re:Not only the first Necro-cosmonaut

[DrVxD]

> Puns should be illegal.
If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will carry puns...

Wow

[Azureash]

The average Slashdot reader must be even dumber than I thought. Obviously this is fiction... You want a real story about people traveling into space? Ask the Russians. Some of their cosmonauts were still alive when they floated away from earth.

Re:How serious is this article?

[The Dobber]

According to the article, he was already quite crispy. Or would that be the equivalent of doulbe-flame broiling?