First Man To Mars?

An anonymous reader writes "Lee Goldberg posted this story which he says is "...the true story of how I sent the first interplanetary necro-cosmonaut to Mars." An entertaining read."

Comments

They should send Bill Gates to Mars

[DocSnyder]

A small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind.

Ira's revenge

[jukal]

sources from outer space just informed me that the project to rebuild Ira from the ashes is almost complete. Martians have only one problem left, the DNA sample sample captured from the ashes is missing cooking instructions for the skull and face and they had to slip in a little bit of martian DNA. Now they are afraid to send Ira back to Earth, not to reveal the true origins of martian codenamed "Mr. Bill Gates."

Re:he's also

[Soulslayer]

Not yet! He's still in international space.

He has to land on a piece of machinery owned by another country sitting on Mars to be an illegal immigrant.

Though anywhere he lands on Mars he'll be an alien.

Go IRA?

[calumr]

My shirt was one of another dozen that I'd added one more symbol to. On the sleeve under the crossed fingers were two words, printed in bold letters: "GO IRA!" Back in the launch control complex, Nick wore his GO IRA shirt as well.

You may not want to wear those next time you visit Belfast... Not unless you happen to have any sort of attachment to your kneecaps.

Re:'640K RAM is enough for anyone'

[iapetus]

Well, even if we assume that Bill is right on this one, and that he never claimed 640K would be enough, at least there's evidence for my personal favourite Bill Gates quote, as shown in this interview with Herman Hauser:

Q: Do you lie awake at night worrying that you'll be first again , but that someone else will make the money?

A: No [...] I often tell the story that Bill gates was trying to sell me MS-DOS in the early 80s and I had to say "Bill, we can't possibly take such a retrograde step, because our operating system really is an operating system and has many features that MS-DOS doesn't have. [...] schoolboy can type 'I am Johnny' into one of our computers and be logged on through the network to a local fileserver. They can use the same commands to get files down from the server that they've learned with a floppy disk." And Bill's answer to that was, "What's a network?"

Not only the first Necro-cosmonaut

[fmita]

One might refer to this Ira as an ASHtronaut! Puns should be illegal.

Re:Not only the first Necro-cosmonaut

[DrVxD]

> Puns should be illegal.
If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will carry puns...