Satirewire Calls It Quits

stuyman writes "After almost three years, Andrew Marlatt, SatireWire's best (and only) employee is leaving the company. Says Marlatt "I all agreed it's time for me to move on...while the decision was certainly difficult, the meeting was actually quite harmonious. I brought doughnuts." He's going to start doing other things, and it has nothing to do with money. Read about it here. Satirewire has landed, please remain seated until we are fully stopped in the terminal area..." I owe Andrew some heavy laughter, and wish him good luck.

Comments

He's off to his next career

[selectspec]

suing the onion for patent infringement.

Re:He's off to his next career

[Monkelectric]

Theres alot of prior art for sites that used to be funny and now arent.

It's about time

[Anonymous Coward]

That site has been a festering pile of dog snot for the last 9 months or so. Nothing new to say. He didn't just beat a dead horse, he bought a stronger whip, changed riders, proclaimed "this is the way we have always ridden this horse," appointed a committee to study the horse, arranging to visit other satire sites to see how they ride dead horses, increased the standards to ride dead horses, declared that the horse is better, faster and cheaper dead, and finally, harnessed several dead horses together for increased speed.

Re:It's about time

[dboyles]

...and finally, harnessed several dead horses together for increased speed.

A Beowulf cluster of dead horses? That should provide enough power to settle the emacs/vi debate.

Re:Where can I put MY tech humor?

[Tachys]

we can go to in order to publish our own faux tech news?

Yeah it is called Slashdot

Is there *decent* website

Oh decent, well no I don't think so

About time he got a real job

[sam_handelman]

Seriously, I know he says it is not about money, but he's *really* funny, and he shouldn't be barely scraping by, making humor that's genuine and doesn't answer to anybody, b/c that's clearly what he loves.

After all, we may enjoy satirewire a great deal, but this funny man should be exposed to a wider, less geekocentric audience. Instead of doing a webpage, he should trade his notoriety for a job writing for a sitcom, and make good money while his humor is watered down beyond recognition and his imagination is crushed into dust.
Don't be sad because satirewire is gone! Don't be sad, DESPAIR, because the REST of our culture is a soul-destroying wasteland trampling and undermining the human spirit.

obligatory links

[Greenrider]

The best laughs I've had from SatireWire:

Are you tangential?
Imagine there's no countries
Should Marty Xerox Egypt?
Least-used chat e-bbreviations
Ask the startled
Men do talk about relationships
Canada has a waship? like for war?
God names next chosen people; it's Jews again
New "Segway Human Transporter" not tested for acronyms

Re:obligatory links

[haukex]

While we're at it, here's my personal absolute favorite: Interview with the Search Engine

The Book

[maggard]

How about collating SatireWire's articles and publishing a book [...]

That would be "Economy of Errors":

From the creator of the award-winning Web site that USA Today calls "hilarious," Fast Company hails as "pure lunacy," and The New York Times calls "unfair to Argentina," comes ECONOMY OF ERRORS, the book that asks:

• Did you know that truly loyal employees are increasingly rare, and can be sold to other companies at attractive prices?
• Do you agree that in a tight labor market, managers should be allowed to slap employees pretty much whenever they want?
• Have you ever cleared space for yourself on an airplane by turning to the stranger next to you and shouting, 'Good God! One of us is going to be sick in your seat!'?

If your answer to any of these questions was, "I didn't realize Alan Greenspan ties interest rates to his cholesterol level," you should definitely buy ECONOMY OF ERRORS.

WHAT'S INSIDE:

• Typo Causes Companies to Merde
• Kmart Gives Shoplifter Refunds
• Interviews with Bill Gates, Roger Clemens, and classical rapper Yo Yo Ma Big Thang
• Enron
• Argentina
• Mr. Clickwell
• The poetry of e.e. commerce
• Businesspeople with fish heads, and much more.

Here's one for the road...

[thrillbert]

New Haven, Conn. (OSDNews) -- Federal investigators descended on the front door of SatireWire's Andrew Marlatt armed with search warrants and cease and desist notices.

Marlatt, who just recently announced his retirement from the web site, is now the focus of an investigation focusing on financial dealings with himself. In a memo obtained by OSDNews, we have learned that Mr. Marlatt awarded himself quite a hefty sum of money as a settlement for firing himself. When questioned about it, Mr. Marlatt replied "I had that in my contract. I had told myself that if I ever wanted to quit, I was not going to walk away with nothing. And just because I am taking 100% out of the company should not mean I am trying to steal all it's funds!"

President Bush, speaking on condition of anonymity, expressed concerned regarding such shady dealings and was quoted as saying "this is exactly the type of deals we need to stop. How can it be that someone can work hard to build something, then shut it down and take all the profits? I might need to have the IRS investigate this character!".

Meanwhile, the Slashdot community was both saddened by the news, and upset at the fact Mr. Marlatt had not bought doughnuts for them.

We contacted CowboyNeal via telephone, but were unable to make out what he said over the incredible sobbing noises he was making.

---
Thank you Andrew! You made us all laugh!

My favorite quote for things like this

[afflatus_com]

Time and again creative people will leave the game when they are at the top. I forget who said it, but a nice answer that one creative person said to the question of why they chose to stop while at the zenith of their success:

I would rather leave and have them ask "Why did you leave?", instead of waiting years after my heart was no longer in it, and then have them ask "Why didn't you leave?"