Slashdot Mirror
Beware of Fake Monkey Automatons
rkinch writes "The Mechanical Music Digest gives this warning about bogus monkey automatons that seem to be flooding the antiques market. These supposedly 19th-century hookah-smoking shrunken monkey heads are actually clever modern reproductions tricked up to look old. That "Marvo the Magic Monkey" specimen hanging on your wall may not really date back to 1879."
If you have something like that hanging on your wall, well....
You're sicker than we all thought.
If you want such a grotesque thing in your house, this may be nature's way of punishing you for it.
On the other hand, it's probably my fault.
I shouldn't have believed it when the guy told me that it wasn't uncommon for antique monkey automatons to take AAA batteries.
what the FUCK? This is probably the strangest thing i've seen on /. (this isn't memepool taco!!)
Of course it matters if you purchased one of those infernal creations!
It's a sad day in America when a man can't trust that his mumified monkey corpse impaled on a mechanical rig in the reproduction of an Arab smoking a controlled substance isn't the genuine article.
I am confused firtly, about how this is /. material, but I guess the real question is does anyone have video of the monkey smoking, cause that would really be a cool conversation piece, I mean what chick doesn't get turned on when she sees a monkey smoking?
...I've said that many times
New poll idea:
Which Slashdot editor should be sacked
o Cmdr Taco
o Hemos
* Timothy
o Cliff
o ChrisD
o Cowboy Neal
Because only genuine shrunken monkey heads come with an Evil Curse (tm).
Til the first virus/worm hits the fake automaton monkeys, THEN you'll be sorry!!!
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
1) Mechanical Music Digest: Ah, a publication about music. Does the monkey make music? Can we legally make copies of the monkey's songs? Is the monkey using DRM-enforcing mechanics? Additionally, this publication is about mechanics, and mechanics are cool (especially quantum mechanics, which the monkey probably uses.) ... fill in your own reason why Fake Monkey Automatons 0wn j00 here.
2) warning: bug in the Monkey can share your files with everyone on the net
3) automaton: Monkey Automaton vs. Grendel, dude. Bulldozer-like ramps beat pneumatic spikes 9 times out of 10.
4) Magic: Gandalf has magic. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
5) hanging on your wall: like my 80-inch plasma TV, baby
6) 1879: 0x757 in hex, which is a palindrome. Both hex and palindromes rock.
7)
Little Mechanical Monkey: "Kill them Taco. They are all against you. You must kill them all."
Taco: "Shut up Chim Chim just shut up why won't you just SHUT UP AIIII!"
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
...I told you never trust a monkey!
The end.
This has to be the most bizarre /. story since JonKatz's Message from Kabul.
All right, but in all seriousness this is a serious problem in our country. Stringent lobbying agaisnt tobacco companies has forced them to explore new markets.
The result is that an increasing number of monkeys have started smoking. It's very sad, even monkeys in captivity are being targetted. As if this wasn't enough, Phillip-Morris has started it's own line of theatres for monkeys...just to get them to start smoking.
Now I know you guys are giving the mods flack for putting this article on front page...but there is a growing smoking monkey problem in this country. So can we please have some constructive advice on how to save the monkeys before it's too late?
The government has a defect: it's potentially democratic. Corporations have no defect: they're pure tyrannies. -Chomsky
Just imagine a beowolf cluster of 19th-century hookah-smoking shrunken monkey heads!
;-)
I'm at the karma cap--time to troll.
Going by this story, copious amounts of crack.
-Yarn - Rio Karma: Excellent
Comment removed based on user account deletion
yeah man, nothing worse than virus-infected fake automata monkeys. It takes a shit on your hardwood floor and then says:
This is a excite game
This game is my first work.
You're the first player.
I wish you would like it.
The level of professionalism around here has seriously dropped.
...I thought it was about Steve Ballmer.
RMN
~~~
Well if you want to pay me $20 to punch your monkey I will, but I assure you it will cause you a great deal of pain...
And a plural of "troll" is "slashdot", but "trolls" is still acceptable.
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
When you see the monkey, smack it! (TM)
[SaveButt]
* This comment is not affiliated to AOL Time Warner in anyway possible, by means of copy, automation, digital or otherwise, until the end of days.
[/SaveButt]
Moderation: +4. Modded 70% Funny and 30% Overrated. 100% Saturated.