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Open Blade Servers?
Greg Smith points to this ZDNet story on new Intel chips aimed at blade servers, writing "Proprietary blade servers are coming on strong from IBM, Dell and HP. Where are the open blade servers? How did Google roll out 10,000 servers at such a low cost?"
i should probably have something meaningful to say...
course i should also not do it anonymously and take it like a man.
but i wont.
cornjchob
:flip:
Whoops wrong board
But where are they?
Try and imagine.
Goatse.cx
I'm drunk as fuck.
1. Tea bag - As you are sitting on a girl's face, repeatedly dip your scrotum in and out of her mouth, similar to a tea bag in a cup of hot water. An old favorite.
2. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you shit on her chest. (a.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)
3. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.
4. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.
5. Golden Shower - Any form of peeing on a girl. (aka: watersports)
6. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl, it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.
7. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty skank and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore, you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of this situation. Can be very painful.
8. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.
9. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl. Strictly a class move.
10. Double Fishhook - From the doggy-style position, you hook your pinky fingers in her mouth and pull back to achieve deeper penetration.
11. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.
12. Dog in a Bathtub - This is the proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
13. The Bronco - Back to reality with this classic. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits as tightly as possible and yell another girl's name. This gives you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.
14. Pink Glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.
15. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)
16. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down on her, you puke on her box. Happy trails!
17. Dirty Sanchez - While banging a girl doggy style, quickly stick 2 fingers deep into her starfish, then reach around and wipe the residue on her upper lip, providing her a mustache.
18. Western Grip - When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use; hence, western.
19. The Blumpkin - You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her suck you off while you're on the shitter.
20. The Bismark - Another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to spew, pull out and shoot all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and jism together.
21. Jelly Doughnut - A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.
22. Woody Woodpecker - While a chick is sucking on your balls, repeatedly tap the head of your cock on her forehead.
23. Tossing salad - Well known by now. A prison act where one person is forced to chow starfish with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jello, jism, etc
24. The Fish Eye - Working from behind, you shove your finger in her pooper. Thereupon, she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick, lapping away, and you discover that it's her time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.
26. The Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty Zena who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat. You punch her.
27. The Chili Dog - You take a dump on the girl's chest and then titty fuck her.
28. Gaylord Perry - Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle-ball pitcher proud and use multiple digits on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of 2 knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).
29. The Rear Admiral - An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (with both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab onto anything when she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that the momentum pushes her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table, or have her trip and fall on her face. You attain the status of Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
30. Glass Bottom Boat - Putting saran wrap over the skank's face and taking a dump.
31. Ray Bans - Put your nuts over her eye sockets while getting head. You're can is on her forehead. Yes, it may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.
32. The Snowmobile - When plugging a girl while she's on all fours, reach around and sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.
33. The Dutch Oven - Also well known. Whenever you fart while humping, pull the covers over her head. Don't let her out until all movement ceases.
34. Smoking Pole - Self Explanatory. Don't use fire.
35. Rusty Trombone - Getting the reacharound while getting your salad tossed. Also known as milking the prostate.
36. Turkey Shoot - When you're coming, come on her face and let it drip off her chin so it looks like that red shit on the turkey's chin.
37. Stovepiping - Taking it in the Tush.
38. Rusty Anchor - After a healthy term of the Stovepiping, the recipient gets to enjoy a good fudgesicle.
39. Sandpiper - A stovepiping on the local beach, desert, or playground sandbox. Also known as the Sandblast.
40. Lucky Pierre - the middle man in a three way buttfuck. Also known as the french sandwich.
41.Divortex- A mystical place into which old friends are sucked when a married couple splits up.
42.Blump- To suck someone's dick while they are taking a dump.
43.Bustard- A very rude bus driver.
44.Cold Faithful- Blowing your visibly-steaming load outside in the winter-time, like when you get your cock sucked on a ski-lift.
45.Grand pappy smash- To beat your meat so hardcore that it starts to chafe and bleed.
46.Esplanade- To attempt an explanation while drunk.
47.Flatulence- The emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
48.Butt Rodeo- When you're going at it with a girl, you flip her over real fast, start ramming her in the ass and yell as loud as possible "BUTT RODEO!" You then see how long you can ride her till she tosses ya off!
49.Bargoyle- The hideous old hair-spray hag who seems to live at your local watering hole. She usually smokes endlessly, spends hundreds of dollars a night on video-poker, and makes sexually threatening comments to frightened college freshmen.
50.Pasteurize- Once you get her hairy bush pasteurize, you got it licked!
51.Beerelevant- A point which does not seem to be particularly important, given enough beer
52.Mangry- Describing the anger of women who are angry at men, specifically. "She's such a bitch, she's just plain mangry."
53.Clitourist- A man who won't stop and ask for directions in bed. ie: "Because of his fouled foreplay, Suzy realized that her new boyfriend was no experienced bedroom traveler, but merely a clitourist."
54.Stuffucking- The act of "stuffing in" your limp, helpless member in hopes of getting it up. Potential causes: you're too drunk or she's too ugly. (see also; Fugly)
55.Antlers- Wide, flat, flapjack titties that come to a sharp point at the nipples.
56.The Flying Camel- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her on your knees, you very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vertical seafood taco. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl, much like a flying camel. Strictly a classy move.
57.The Flaming Amazon- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then extinguish the flames with your jizz!
58.The Screwnicorn -When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.
59.Split pissonality -When you're taking a leak and you get two streams out of the one hole!
60.A Short in the Cord- A "code" phrase used by the common man to refer to Testicular Tendon Tangle Syndrome. Ex. "Oh fuck! My nuts are killing me... I think I've got a short in the cord."
61.Old Jism Trail -The stream of semen oozing down the chin and chest of someone who has just finished fellating a senior citizen.
62.Abdicate -To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
63.Lymph -To walk with a lisp.
64.Anal Boot- An anal boot is when you take a pitcher of beer, everyone spits in it, someone stirs it with their cock and then the mixture is poured through the crack of a man ass into the waiting mouth of the loser of a bet or drinking game.
65.Australian Death Grip- The act of grabbing a woman by the haunches/crotch and staring deeply into her eyes until you're slapped or kissed. A recommended tactic for very crowded bars. Another great opportunity for wagering among friends.
66.Fumilingus -When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his/her face.
67.Intoxicourse- Having sexual intercourse whilst piss-drunk.
68.Valsalva -The act of pinching shut (with thumb and forefinger) a woman's nose while receiving fellatio; most effective when employed just prior to the release point due to the gag reflex and ensuing swallow that the woman is forced to do to continue breathing. A great first date ploy, as it sets the stage for what the rules of engagement will be going forward.
69.Insta-gasm -Pre-mature ejaculation at the sight of a beautiful woman. ie: "She was so fine, I had an insta-gasm before I could get her clothes off!"
70.Manual Deconstipation -This is where you get out the hand cream and go in manually for the hammerhead by breaking it into smaller chunks and pulling it out a piece at a time.
71.Post Poodum Syndrome -The feeling of depression felt after successful removal of a hammerhead. The excitement has passed, and you must now find something else to occupy your time.
72.The Homolic Maneuver -Using your penis to dislodge an object blocking a choking victim's windpipe.
73.Pegging - having a female take you in the rear with a strap on.
74. The UnderDog - after a hard session at the gym, your armpit muscle begins to twitch; thus giving you the ability to jerk a guy off with your armpit muscle.
75. The Twinkler - when you are 69ing a girl and you shove your dick into mouth hard, and you watch her a-hole "twinkle" as she gags.
76. Angry dragon - This involves the girl giving the guy head and as he is about to cum slapping the girl on the back of the head causing the cum to come out her nose. Great care should be used to not slap her mouth shut.
77. Tony Danza - a takeoff of the donkey punch is called the Tony Danza. When you are about to cum while doing a girl from behind, you say "who's the boss?" and stick it in her ass. Before she says anything you shout "TONY DANZA!" and punch her in the back of the head.
78. Alaskan firedragon - another good take off is one of the angry dragon that is called the alaskan firedragon. When a girl is giving you a blowjob, cum in her mouth unexpectedly and plug up her mouth at the same time. Then whisper in her ear "i have syphilis" so she spews it out her nose.
79. The Walrus - when she's giving u a blowjob and u cum in her mouth unexpectadly, cover up her mouth and punch her in the stomach.
80. The Fat Lip - If you get poison ivy and finger a girl, her labia lips will swell. A la, the fat lip.
81. Sleeping Bag - If you're going down on a really fat girl, you pull her enormous stomach roll of fat over your head.
82. Hummer Bird - when a girl is giving a guy a hummer, and he's enjoying it, she bites on his bird.
83. Bloody Mary - when a drunk guy is going down on a girl and without even realizing it after he's done, he realizes Mary was very Bloody
84. The Houdini - this maneuver is accomplished while going at it doggy style. As you feel you are about to cum, you pull out and spit on the small of her back (making her think you've finished...). It's at the point when she turns around when *BAM!* You bust your load in her face (in the eye if you've got proper aiming techniques down.) Also known as the Doug Hennings and the David Copperfield.
85. Upperdecking - This one takes practice. This maneuver requires a toilet with a tank above it, like the ones in most homes. Instead of crapping in the bowl, you shit in the tank (i.e. upperdecking). Now don't flush. When the following victim flushes, the rancid waste fills the bowl. If you play your cards right, it may ferment
86. Journey into darkness - This is the most disturbing of all. It entails shitting into another person's asshole. Not for beginners.
87. Rocky Balboa - dont shower for 2 weeks, then diarrhea down her throat at any point during sexual contact.
88. Rocky Balboa Title Punch - same as the Rocky Balboa, but in that non-showering 2 weeks all you eat is corn.
I don't usually do this, but I have to give credit to Sascha and Zach for the next 2. I'm only doing this because they are my bosses kids...
89. The McDonald's Quick Draw - Get your girlfriend to talk dirty into the intercom, making the order guy start to beat off. Then while pulling up to the window, have her give you falatio till you are about to blow your beefy chunk-load. Upon pulling up to the window, tell your girl friend to yell "Draw!". Then on "three", both you and the guy blow your loads either on her or eachother.
90. Uncle Jemima - the typical dirty chef at your local Denny's or other low-class food establishment who occasionally becomes disgruntled, and takes out his frustration on your meal, via "the ass wipe" or the "French Toast Strut" seen in Road Trip.
91. Airtight - this is where a girl has a cock in each of her three holes, hence, airtight.
92. The Throne of Lightning - This is done by fucking a girl while you shit in a toilet. When you're going to blow your load, turn her over and dunk her head in the toilet, while she's bobbing for your turd plummet a river of semen in her ass. Not to be confused with "Ride the Lightning," a Metallica album
93. Abe Lincoln - You're getting a girl up the ass and give her a swift donkey punch to the back of her head, knocking her unconscious. You then turn her around and jerk off and blow your load all over her face. Then you shave her beaver and take the clippings and spread it where you jizzed on her, making a beard that looks like good ol Honest Abe's.
94. Thanksgiving - Just like the holiday, Thanksgiving is when you do a girl and then she puts her two big butt cheeks on your face like holiday hams. An overcooked thanksgiving is similar to this but instead of just putting the cheeks on your head she farts on it too.
95. Emeril - When your'e doing a chick doggy style (either hole) and you pull out, cum in your hand and then while you throw it on her back you yell "BAM", Emeril style, hence the name.
96. Zombie - Right before you come while getting a blowjob, you withdraw from her mouth, and shoot her in the eye unexpectedly. This causes her to stumble about the room feeling around for a towel.
Yeah, but what about a beowolf... oh, nevermind...
alias uptime="echo '5:33pm up 22342352324 days, 6:28, 2124315623 users, load average: 2432.40, 12312.31, 123123.19'"
Peepoh:One hot dog in a bun, comin' right up!
YourMissionForToday:Go and steal stuff now!
YourMissionForToday:with a forklift!
Peepoh:Yes, Master of Forkliftery! I must obey!
YourMissionForToday:but don't get it too heavy, or it could weigh down your forklift!
Peepoh:Not the Power Jackoff 2000! Let's get a bunch of blow up dolls and dress them up in graduation robes, and leave them in Church!@
Peepoh:then we steal the stations of the cross with our forklifts!
YourMissionForToday:Yeah, then we blame it on the blowup dolls!
Peepoh:yeah! and it'll work because the night before we'll replace their security tapes with tapes we've edited of the dolls perpetrating the crime!
YourMissionForToday:Yeah, with zombies dressed up as Lenin and Stalin helping them!
Peepoh:no, the zombies ARE Lenin and Stalin!
YourMissionForToday:Great idea, but they wear party hats and the blow up dolls only get to wear graduation hats
Peepoh:yeah, at first.
YourMissionForToday:and there's a jesus piñata!
Peepoh:but then we DRILL the fuck out of their zombie asses with our big industrial drills!
YourMissionForToday:right, and then we look like the heroes!
YourMissionForToday: (we have to dress like mexican peasants)
Peepoh:yeah, because the cops would arrive on the scene just in time to witness us spraying zombie innards all over the tabernacle!
YourMissionForToday:Yeah, and then we just post like mexican construction workers who stopped by to pray to our lady of guadalupe on our way home after the night shift!
Peepoh:oh good thinking! that explains why we have the big industrial drills at church!
YourMissionForToday:That, and cause we were going to get them blessed for St. Blaises' Day!
Peepoh:When we drill into people's throats!
YourMissionForToday:And then we claim that we're Michael the Archangel after we do that...no, wait, you're Michael the Archangel and I'm Captain America!
Peepoh:no, you're Leonardo the Archangel, John's Donatello the Archangel, and Robert is Raphael the Archangel!
YourMissionForToday:Cowabunga, d00d! You're right!
It's well-known and well-documented that Intel chips just don't perform up to par with equivalent chips from their main counterpart, AMD (Advanced Micro Devices).
Why?
Simply put, most modern processor are said to be pipelined; that is, rather than executing instructions sequentially, they execute several different instructions at a time, but just in different stages. And, overall, any AMD chip that you have will get just as much work done per clock cycle than an Intel processor at the same clock rate.
So, a 1.4GHz Athlon from AMD will benchmark much more quickly and give better results than any 1.4GHz-clock Intel chip.
Furthermore, they're a hell of a lot cheaper than Intel chips, and if you use a proper heat sink and fan(s), they'll last you many, many years.
Content coming soon (no, really!)
If you celebrate Xmas, befriend me (538
I especially love how, after the marketing ploy for AMD, he writes a REPLY TO HIS OWN POST telling moderators to check his posting history... OMG... classic!
while you play NCAA football, I play with your girlfriend.
the content of this post assures me that you've never touched a woman.
you moron. learn to speak.
"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cellphone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
There is a silence; then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'Okay, now what?' "
Let's get this straight - we call computers "boxes", not "boxen". You can still carry on calling your wife's box a "boxen" - that's really up to you.
Irregardless is a word
enough said