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Telcos Play Both Sides of Telemarketing War
Monoman writes "Most Slasdot readers already know this but CNN has an article about how the telcos are reaping profits from selling your phone number to the telemarketers, and selling customers ways to block the telemareketers, and selling telemarketers ways to get around the customers who are paying to have telemarketers blocked and... I think you get the picture. It is nice to see stuff like this in the mainstream media." So either both sides pay the local Baby Bell for its protection racket, or you just pass a law and the problem goes away.
a telemarketer tried to sell me one of those telezappers i'm pretty sure it was a prank
I know this is off-topic but I can't help it. I was reading one of these threads about telemarketers awhile ago and someone mentioned that whenever one called, he simply replied with "corflakes" I thought it was the funniest thing ever and I've been doing it ever since. I'm not as good as he is/was though. I've only gotten up to saying it 10 times....
Straight form the story: ... most Slasdot readers ...
*chuckle*
Dacels Jewelers can't be trusted.
I think I'd rather chat with a telemarketter for 10 minutes than wait for that site to load...
Department of Physics and Atmospheric Science, Dalhousie University, Halifax, N.S., Canada, B3H 3J5
What would be nifty would be the ability to transfer telemarketing calls to a little black box that, upon detecting a pause on on the part of the speaker, says a short, encouraging phrase, like "Tell me more!", "Sounds interesting?", "How do I sign up?", "Do you take credit cards?", "Hold on a sec.", etc. The idea would be to keep the caller on the line for as long as possible. Also useful for in-laws, bill collectors, etc. I shall draw up a patent application forthwith.
Roving Web-Teleoperated Robot
It is too bad their attack is so bilateral. With unilateral mailings for credit cards, I simply scribble all over the application such messages as:
"Find respectable work."
or
"Stop exploiting poor people."
And the company gets to pay the return envelope postage. With telemarketers, however, we are forced into the uncomfortable twinge of countering our ingrained impulse to be polite on the phone. What my roomate used to do is this: when they start talking, take the phone from your ear, put it to your mouth, and just SCREAM!!!!
Then laugh as you imagine the dork at his cubicle, ripping his headset off and holding his ear in pain.
Boost Advil sales.
Medicate all your pets.
hi, I like pancakes -.-- -.-- --..
When I get a call from a telemarketers I try to slashdot them at home by putting them on speakerphone and having my whole family (and the bird) yell at them at once.
I ask them to hold for just a second, put the phone down, and then walk away. That probably cuts way down on their productivity, potentially saving someone else from having dinner interrupted.
Good thing my 3-year old daughter screens all my calls for me on my cell phone and home phone. She does a good job, if it is someone I know she is happy to hear from them. If she doesn't know them she babbles on the phone for awhile and eventually hangs up. :) I am cautious because I already happen to have a mechanism in place that records all calls at my house, for my own protection in case my daughter actually agreed to buy something (or her mother called and threatened my life again, heh).
Kids are great, they also know how to grab the mouse and click on "agree" on those click through licenses. I haven't had to agree to a EULA in the longest time.
The counterscript is fun and easy.
Cypherpunks: Civil Liberty Through Complex Mathematics. Those who live by the sword die by the arrow.
This guy I once knew got so many telemarketing calls (on his cell, no less) that he took to answering the phone like a chicken. He'd just pick up the line and start immediately with the clucking noises. His friends all knew he did it, so they'd just say "Rob" and immediately he'd be like "buk buk buk.. Oh hey what's up." If the other person started laughing, or acting puzzled, he'd just step up the chicken noises. Funny and effective.
If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
Having a cell phone isn't going to stop them at all.
I don't need to stop them all, I just need to stop the ones who call me. And so far, for over two years now, it's worked.
Like a buddy of mine...another thing you can do to fix this problem and keep them out of your hair is to answer the phone saying: "Central Intelligence Agency, how may I help you?"
Any bets on whether Verizon's CEO could list all the Rules of Aquisition off the top of his head?
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Whenever I am in need of some amusement that can only be had by sadistically tormenting another human being, I answer the telemarketting call pretending to be my own next of kin.
I politely explain to the caller that I had been killed a week prior in a terrible car accident, and that as a result, I am no longer interested in health insurance, long distance service, vinyl siding or a penis extension. This is the source of much amusement.
I further request that I be permanently removed from their call list, since I am, quite dead, and thus unlikely to be interested in their offer, no matter of remarkably opportune, in the forseeable future. This reduces my future call load.
If they've not complied and hung up by this point, I become audibly emotional (cue my sobbing girlfriend in the background) and become irate about the insensitivity of the caller, and their corporate policy. This is the fun, sadistic part.
On occasion, when dealing with a cold-call from a business which clearly got my number second or even third hand, I've claim to have died many months ago, in order to raise the question of validity of the information they purchase.
Since the marketting calls in my area wax and wane over the period of several weeks, this can be literally hours of fun each week. I highly recommend it.
The REAL jabber has the user id: 13196
What you do today will cost you a day of your life
From AT&T trying to sell me on their local service.
Now, I use AT&T for my long distance (got a deal with my cell... when the contract's up, I'll probably change), so I had a little bit of leverage.
This drone wouldn't take "Not interested." for an answer, so I told them, "Hang up NOW, or I will call AT&T and cancel my existing service, and tell them that it was your telemarketing company!"
They hung up.
Fascism starts when the efficiency of the government becomes more important than the rights of the people.
Yeah, seriously; all they have to do is implement your solution, and instead pay for:
1) Caller ID service
2) Fone Flasher
3) modem supporting caller ID
4) MacCallerID
Let me guess... your next project is "beating" the utility companies by switching to a homemade diesel generator for your power needs? =)
Just print out some pictures of goatse and send it back.
Some friends of mine did something like this with their answering machine a few years back. They have some recorded calls here:
http://www.cs.rpi.edu/~collinsr/tm/index.html
That is not required in every state, nor in every country.
For instance, in Canada, as long as one party to the conversation is aware that the recording is happening, then it's ok.
---
"I can't complain, but sometimes still do..." Joe Walsh
"Al Qaeda Network, this is Omar speaking, How may I help you?"
both would get you on the NSA Shitlist real fast...
nbfn
I think that one of my friends had the best idea for how to defeat telemarketers.
:-) and he didn't have to pay for services to get rid of telemarketers either.
Now, it's obvious that you have to pay to have for an unlisted phone number, but what you don't have to pay for is a phone number with the wrong information on it. To make a long story short, my friend's phone number was listed in the phone book under Mark Twain's real name.
Knowing this, one could use the phone book to look for their phone number. But when telemarketers tried to do this, they'd ask for "Samuel Clemens" at which point my friend would reply with "sorry... you have the wrong number."
Worked like a charm.
-Through the server, over the router, off the firewall... Nothing but 'Net!
If I hear anymore Republicans talk about "Self-Regulation, Self-Regulation! Waaa! Waaa! Self-Regulation," I'm gonna scream. THIS telco shit, ladies and gentlemen, is what self-regulation brings. Anyone who thinks government shouldn't get involved in this, please step forward so I can kick you in the nuts.
+1 Insightful, -1 Troll. What can I say, I'm an Insightful Troll.
just cut out the middle-man. Sell your own phone number to the companies. That'll show those telco's!
This is left as an exercise for the reader.
I have a cheap-o digital answering machine that I picked up for $15. I keep my ringer off or at least low, keep the volume at a decent level, and set the message to "You've reached blah blah, calls from solicitors will not be returned." This prevents most solicitors from ever getting a hold of me, but there have been a few obnoxious cases where they will rattle off their shpiel, and almost every time it is either due to a political campaign call (in Colorado I've noticed a heavy load of anti-Mike Feely campaigning; whether he's good or bad, his opponent is a scumbag who has sunk to the lowest possible level by calling people with live and automated messages, sending out endless fliers that all repeat the same drivel, etc) or a moronic satellite-dish salesperson. My favorite thing to do when this happens is to pick up the line while they're wasting the space on my machine, and scream "I SAID NO SOLICITORS!" and then hang up. Hopefully that gives them a sufficient jolt.
Personally I think it's rude to be excessively mean and nasty to telemarketers, especially in this crap economy; sure, there are plenty of better jobs they could be looking for, but it's the idiots who actually buy this stuff that perpetuate the cycle, and not the phone-slaves who feel the need to stick with whatever pays the bills. But when they deliberately waste the limited space on my machine after being told "calls from solicitors will not be returned," I feel they've crossed a line and deserve the worst.
Another fun thing to do with them is to let my girlfriend pick up the phone, and as she tries to gently wriggle her way out of the conversation without just slamming down the phone, I belt out in my best, loudest white-trash voice "Whattya doin' woman? Who you talkin' too!?" She whines in her best dimunitive dame voice and I yell at her to hang up the damned phone.
When I was younger and still lived with my parents, I'd just extract a bunch of WAV files from DOOM for DOS using DMAUD, and would create a little batch file to play them back in horrific sequence. *shotgun blast* *imp dies* *demon attack* *human death scream* etc...whoohoo.
..."I would like to be placed on your federally mandated Do Not Call List. I would like written notification of this, and a copy of your Do Not Call policy mailed to me."
Yeah, but then I have to give them my address.
It's bad enough already that they have my phone number.
Hehh... over here we are getting paid for incoming calls: 0.30 EEK's (0.018 US cents) per minute. Outgoing calls cost 2.50 EEK's (0.15 US cents) per minute. I am happy living in Estonia!
While Nazi Storm Troopers technically get the brunt of our rage, it's the Third Reich that's at fault.
I know someone who worked as a Nazi Storm Trooper. She was a nice person. She said that you don't even know who you are killing -- a gun, tank, rocket, or gas does it for the Nazi Storm Trooper. That's why they frequently stumble pronouncing your name -- they don't see you until the moment they kill you.
Nazi Storm Troopering is a thankless job, but it pays well, and for someone who doesn't have a degree -- heck, with the economy the way it is now, even people *with* degrees -- it's a job that pays well without requiring mental exertion or long hours away from the trench.
Have you heard what most Nazi Storm Troopers sound like? They aren't thrilled about their government. They're not excited to tell you about it. They're just following orders. Most Nazi Storm Troopers I hear sound tired, they sound stressed, they sound worn out.
If you simply tell them "Put this body on your do not shoot list" then they are obligated by law to do so and cannot shoot you for a year. On the other hand, screaming or attacking the Nazi Storm Trooper who shoots at you isn't constructive. It just increases the stress of that Nazi Storm Trooper, and, probably, yours.