Slashdot Mirror
Top SciTech Gifts 2002
Steve0987 writes "Scientific American has a list of suggested Christmas presents for the those technical people on your shopping list. There are a couple I might add to my letter to Santa." Um, I'd also like to add some wireless speakers, but the the coal from the Titanic seems a bit macabre.
This frenzy about hitech gizmos makes me think about the introduction in HHGTTG.
Sure, those pet tornadoes _look_ cute when they're small, but boy, they grow up - they grow up big.
Cocaine and hookers, and plenty of both...
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
I get that in my stocking every year.
in the good old days, geeks were hoping for a girlfriend as a Xmas present..
now they're hoping for a job. I told you having a girlfriend was expensive..
Dear Santa,
I've been a really good geek this year. I have studied the intricacies of the quantic string field network and built a beowulf cluster out of my old Apple II. I have also helped my school to install their own park of budget PCs and given classes to the senior citizens in our town's retirement home.
So I think I deserved that Terabyte HDD system I saw online [pricegrabber].
Maybe your elves can built it. I have some schematics for it. Pr0... er... pencil holder schematics are becoming really big, with the internet and all, you know, Santa?
Yours,
Geeky Geeks.
The ENIAC Demo Competition
...but it does get better.
I particularly liked the Cat-a-pult, though I'm sure they caution "not to be used with real cats". He-he-he...
Write some letters. I'll be over here destroying the rain forest with my heavy metals if you need me.
I would like a server that can survive a slashdotting.
I think Santa should give one to the people at Scientific American as well.
Sci/Tech gifts are easy to think of!
Now someone come up with a list of flowery/cute/thoughtful gifts for my girlfriend!
(No, really. I post to Slashdot and have a girlfriend. Incredible but true.)
Try to hack my 31337 firewall!
Well that is assuming that they transmit at 2.4Ghz, which I assume they do. Everytime Britanny hits a high note, the ftp connection to the warez site will drop. Oh wait, she can't hit high notes so I guess you're safe.
A grammar checker ?
A Zany-Brainy exclusive:
Cause Kids learn best when they're having fun.
Pagans MC "Little Cooker" Organic Chemistry Kit (Ages 8 to 80)
Who needs a wimpy chemistry set when you can give your child a leg up on the competition with our super-fun crash-course in organic chemistry?
Your child will learn the Ephedrine reduction technique and the German technique to turn Pseudoephedrine into pure organic gold.
When the experiment is over, simply call the Pagans at 1-800-GOT-METH and we will safely "dispose" of the harmful end product and award your child cash prizes and a Pagan "Little Cooker" merit badge.
(Pseudoephedrine, rusty bathtub, and HAZMAT team not included.)
Nowhere on that list do I see a Cray supercomputer c'mon SciAm, it's the dot-com boom! Everyone has millions to throw around!
err.. oh.. scratch that.
Trolling is a art,
The guy that has an army of green elves working in a toy factory paid with a whiff of magic powder is not really the best guy to ask for a job...
The ENIAC Demo Competition
And for a lot of people the perfect gift would be to not have to have a Job. A nice little commune, out in the countryside, where you're free to do what you want. Ahh a perfect XMas
thank God the internet isn't a human right.
That the top gift for too many /.'ers would be "a love life". :)
(yes, I'l take one too, Santa)...
----------------------------------- My Other Sig Is Hilarious -----------------------------------
I'm hoping for a girlfriend that'll give me a 'job...
Does the bat detector come with a rabies vaccine?
HH
ps don't mod up as funny
I would like my karma set back to a numerical score. I know you and Cowboy Elf are hard at work for Slashdotmas, but that is my wish for the year. I have been very good and not trolled all year long.
dr_dank
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
You've got an excellent point. I don't disagree with you at all. Now come over and explain it to my wife -- she's ordering new living room furniture right after Christmas!
Cantankerous old coot since 1957.