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The Great Stanford Buffy Population Equilibrium Study

Suture writes "A PhD candidate in ecology at Stanford University has done an ecological analysis of humans and vampires in Sunnydale, the home of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He took some initial assumptions on rates of population growth, vampire feeding, etc and plugged them into a differential equations model. What he got was an equilibrium human population of 36,346, and an vampire population of around 18, and furthermore the equilibrium is stable. His conclusion was that even though the show's designers are not ecologists, they managed to come up with ideas that actually made ecological sense. Scroll to the bottom of the page to see a pretty cool spiral graph of human population vs vampire population."

38 of 302 comments (clear)

  1. Wow by unterderbrucke · · Score: 5, Funny

    and I thought I had too much time on my hands...

    1. Re:Wow by UnixRevolution · · Score: 4, Funny

      You mean when i was taking high-school physics and did calculations such as the impact speed of the chalupa on the head of the taco bell dog in the commercial?

      --
      You like your new Mac more than you like me, don't you, Dave? Dave? I asked...She said Yes.
    2. Re:Wow by Dirtside · · Score: 5, Funny

      So instead of wasting your time coming up with vampire population ecology models, you're reading about it on Slashdot. This is something to gloat about? :)

      --
      "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
  2. SW by gummijoh · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got an Phd for making an essay about the fact that Star Wars could not be real... not in this galaxy nor any other!

  3. I think the real question is: by nuwayser · · Score: 5, Funny

    are there enough vampires in sunnyvale to sustain the show for another season?

    --
    "The cup... the drop... it's a YES!"
  4. Spike Quote by T-Kir · · Score: 3, Funny

    Spike: And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets? Ep: Out of My Mind

    Just in case people think I have way too much time on my hands, I did a Google search and this was at the top of the list.

    I must say the spiral curve the guy did looks a bit hallucinogenic... maybe he was on something?

    --
    Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
    1. Re:Spike Quote by dasunt · · Score: 5, Funny

      There are better Spike quotes out there. Such as:
      Spike: I like people. They're like Happy Meals with legs.

      (And note, that is an on-topic quote with regards to the article.)

  5. Hmm by Cali+Thalen · · Score: 5, Interesting

    OK, while I can certainly go along with watching second-rate actors in bad make-up and cute actresses, throwing around a few equations that no one is likely to examine, and one confusing graph...and earning (possibly) a PhD in the process, what really got my attention was the line:

    "And to be fair, I'll tell you that my first order guesses, while probably not too far off, were chosen at least partly to obtain a reasonable result on our first try."

    Now THAT is my idea of effort!

    --
    Chaos, panic, disorder...my work here is done.
  6. Re:A Few Too many assumptions by SirSlud · · Score: 3, Funny

    > what Archie and Betty and Veronica might have been up to?

    A clandistine manage-a-trois our parents were thankfully unaware of? Bring on the .kids domain! ;)

    --
    "Old man yells at systemd"
  7. Hmmmmmm..... by Audacious · · Score: 5, Funny

    The graph looks almost like a bad drawing of Dante's Inferno. Each twist is yet another level leading to hell.

    Which, since Sunnyvale is where the hellmouth is - it sort of all works out. In a strange, sort of demented way.

    (I think I'll go watch the Buffy musical again. It's got class. It's got style. And until you burn up - it sticks with you for a while.)

    --
    Someone put a black hole in my pocket and now I'm broke. :-)
  8. It's obviously in jest! by LojaK · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This paper isn't a thesis paper for pete's sake! It isn't a dissertation! It's OBVIOUSLY a lark. He's a fan of Buffy, and he decided to engage his brain and see what he could conclude about the Buffy-verse. It's a hoot, relax people.

    -- L.

    1. Re:It's obviously in jest! by LostCluster · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I once wrote a paper analyzing the data from the Fastest-Finger qualifying game on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, using info from a website that logged all of the qualifying player's names and times. I then performed simple stat anaysis tests to show that the reason more men made it into the contestant chair is because more men were attempting, and that women were actually better at playing the Fastest Finger game, despite claims that the game favored men.

      Valid enough to be published and silence the critics? No way... far too little data do have that kind of certainty. Valid enough to get me an A+ on the project... yep. This was for a stats class, all I needed was to prove that I knew how to write a statistical report, not that I could collect solid data or pick a topic that meant anything to the world.

      Maybe there was a serious reason for him to do the "study"... but I don't think it's gonna get published in any place with scientific credibility.

  9. A good page... by Hadean · · Score: 5, Interesting

    For good Buffy information (they had this story linked a while back I believe), check out Buffista. Their links page (http://www.buffistas.org/links.php) is quite extensive... Not bad.

    And, of course, you have to check out TV Tome's Buffy page, with good reviews, show guide and spoilers...

    Any other good ones?

  10. Another stat; good writers do their homework by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    even though the show's designers are not ecologists, they managed to come up with ideas that actually made ecological sense

    Maybe the writers did their research.
    Successful shows usually have good writers who often do their homework.

    Writers could even have first hand vampire experience!
    You never know. Only a slayer can tell!

  11. A few more population genetics propositions... by Jedi+Paramedic · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Obviously, this is a very simplified model, and it is very vulnerable to flawed assumptions. For example, our guesses as to how often vampires feed and sire could be well off the mark. And to be fair, I'll tell you that my first order guesses, while probably not too far off, were chosen at least partly to obtain a reasonable result on our first try. In addition to our parameter assumptions being vulnerable, we may have made mistakes in the overall structure of the model. For example, we know that vampires can live (albeit miserably) on non-human prey. We've also heard from Spike that while vampires can starve, they don't actually starve to death. Incorporating these facts into the model might give some very different results.
    Other modifiers:

    - Buffy's success at finding a mate versus others' successes (hers should be assumed to be higher, which would increase the incidence of vampire-killing traits in the population),
    - the (Dubya) Bush administration's environmental policy, and whether increased pollution is more harmful to the living or undead, and
    - If you introduce population genetics to "The WB Frog," will he suddenly change sex and have the potential to bear young (as do amphibians when populations are all female, i think)?

    the plot thickens...
    --

    That's my purse! I don't know you! -- Bobby Hill
  12. what a bunch of whiners by GunFodder · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This looks like a clever way to exercise one's professional tools to solve a trivial yet interesting problem. Why are all of you whiners jumping on him?

    One factor that he left out was the attrition of vampires due to recovered conscience or suicide, which might be high considering their lifestyle. There must be a percentage of vampires that accidentally get caught in sunlight as well, although those dim bulbs might be the kinds that get slayed eventually anyway. Other than that the numbers look good.

  13. Article is a joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't beleive this paper got published, are you kidding me? He fails to take into account trolls and werewolves, which would skew the numbers towards vampires, as they are natural allies. I too am scientist in the field of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and am preparing my own study, but unlike this quack I'm not throwing it out unfinished in the hopes of garnering awards and acclaim. I hesitate to think of the damage that will be done when people use these figures in their studies.

    1. Re:Article is a joke by cookie_cutter · · Score: 3, Funny
      I hesitate to think of the damage that will be done when people use these figures in their studies.

      Indeed! I shudder to think of the droves of vampires moving to communities which can't possibly support them!

  14. vampire migration factor by urbazewski · · Score: 5, Funny
    from the article:
    Vampires are flocking to Sunnydale, since the Hellmouth is the underwordly equivalent of Silicon Valley, and the demon labor market is just too good to be true. Thus, we'll assume a yearly migration rate of about 10%, or the same as for the humans.

    It seems the author is forgetting about Angel --- Buffy spinoffs could make m, the rate of vampire migration negative. And should the exodus of VC's from Silicon Valley count as ex-migration of humans or of vampires?

    --
    foldplay your photos won't know what hit them.
  15. In other Buffy-esq News... by Cyno01 · · Score: 3, Informative

    I just found out that even if Angel were still on the air, Doyle would not be coming back. On Tuesday Glenn Quinn, the actor who played Doyle, died of unrevealed causes. More on this here.

    --
    "Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
    1. Re:In other Buffy-esq News... by Dimensio · · Score: 4, Informative

      A number of people firmly believed that Doyle would somehow be 'brought back', even though Joss stated pretty soon after the character was killed off that he was only there (and in the opening credits) as a reminder to all that 'no one is safe' on Joss's productions.

      And, uh, Angel is still on the air. WB keeps screwing up its air time (went from Tuesday to Monday to Sunday and it will be moving to Wednesday soon) apparently because they want the show to fail out of spite, but it's still running.

  16. Some People are just obsessed! by KristsInferno · · Score: 4, Funny

    I mean, come on! That is as bad as being one of those guys that constantly goes to a website, telling himself that it's "intelligent and newsworthy", but really just wants to post a load of crap to the net so that others might find him cool.


    Oh, shit, wait, I didn't mean.... damn.

  17. Firefly on tonight by vandemar · · Score: 4, Informative

    I'm venturing on to a gray area of on-topicness, but...

    For those of you who don't know, Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, also has another genre show called Firefly.

    I just watched the latest episode (War Stories) tonight, and believe me when I tell you that if it hasn't aired in your timezone yet, you do not want to miss it. This one episode has got more character development, action (and I mean combat) and humor (and none of that slapstick stuff) than the entire season of Enterprise so far.

    Again, if you like Buffy (and even if you don't), don't miss tonight's Firefly. This one deserves high ratings, but that can only happen if people know it's being aired. So now you know.

    1. Re:Firefly on tonight by spun · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Just watched it. Then had the misfortune of watching Men in Black II right after. Ugh! talk about a letdown.

      I've never been a big Buffy fan, but I have watched a few shows, and I've been impressed with the quality of the writing and the chemistry between the actors.

      Firefly has the same kind of humor that Buffy does. Joss seems to like poking fun at cliches (although this time, the good guys let the bad guy go instead of kicking him into an engine.) The acting is good. The characters are realistic and each have their own reasons for being on the ship.

      People have put Firefly down as a ripoff of Gene Rodenberry's 'Wagontrain to the Stars' idea, but from what I have seen, they have taken the idea literally and created a frontier that is more low tech and 'old west' in feel than anything in the Star Trek universe.

      As for MIB II, I wish I had a neuralyzer so I could wipe the memory from my mind.

      Oh yeah, and to everyone who didn't think the human-vampire ecology article was funny, or who thought it was a waste of time: good lord! you need a new humor chip upgrade.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  18. meanwhile, in another universe... by Ellen+Ripley · · Score: 5, Funny

    What he got was an equilibrium human population of 36,346, and an vampire population of around 18, and furthermore the equilibrium is stable.

    The Camarilla Princes are going to be really pissed when they find out they've been running at ( 1 / 10^5 ) / ( 18 / 36346 ) of their optimal capacity.

    We Sabbat knew better, of course.

    Cousin Ellen

  19. This can't possibly be right by gelfling · · Score: 3, Funny

    They're ignoring the Infinite Alternate Universes theory as posited by Dr. Qrlang in New Superman #35.

  20. I think the point (mentioned in the ed. comments) by moogla · · Score: 5, Interesting

    is that it's remarkable how (after making basic assumptions) the very ideas of a stable vampire/human equilibrium are sound, and they are consistent with the "normal" Buffy universe. Many television shows and movies are mathematically improbable in even the most basic sense (like the ecosystem in the Matrix, for example). More importantly, we can assume that this was not intentional on the writer's part, I'm sure they wouldn't even grasp the "classic problem"; they probably didn't study engineering or mathematics in school. What the author of the study doesn't state, but I will, is the implication of his exercise in intellectual masturbation taken with the previous assumption.
    Why would it work out, what made these writers different than other writers? I think it's a plot driven element, and a reflection of the real causes of social attitudes. I'm willing to venture a guess that they (the writers) kept the number of vampires and incidents in the series low so that it would seem more likely people wouldn't realize that there were real vampires around in the fictional Buffy scenario. From this, we determine vampires could exist in stable equilibrium if this was the case. If the prey on the show knew about the predators in a larger sense, the equations wouldn't be so simple any longer, and the stable equilibrium would be lost. What we consider "under the radar" and thus unnoticed is a perfect niche for small, select groups of predators to operate within, in REAL life. So in conclusion, the writers are clearly not buffoons, and your neighboor IS a vampire.
    QED.

    --
    Black holes are where the Matrix raised SIGFPE
  21. Re:What A Waste by Jester99 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Right. Because Ph.D. students never have free time. They spend all their time on serious, groundbreaking research, only. And Ph.D. students never have their own webspace. If it's on the Internet, it must be a serious, peer-reviewed, critically analyzed piece of high academic merit.

    And in that supposed "free time" that Ph.D. students don't have, they'd never think about writing a mock paper using some differential equations that any second-year science student would understand because it amuses them.

    For Christ's sake, the guy watches Buffy (Yes, Ph.D. students at Universities do other things besides do research and contribute to "political, social, and scientific development;" sometimes they even watch television!) and ran some variables through a model, wrote up a silly paper, and published it on his web page.

    It's funny. Laugh. ;)

  22. Re:Excuse me? by dwarfviking · · Score: 5, Informative
    ...and furthermore the equilibrium is stable...

    Did you think, at all, before you wrote that? What do you think "equilibrium" means?

    In dynamics, an equilibrium point is a steady-state of the system: that is, a set of values for the system such that, if the system is set to that point, the system will no longer change.

    What do you think "stable" means?

    In this context, "stable" means that, if you move the system slightly away from the equilibrium point, it will naturally move back to the equilibrium point. On the other hand, an unstable system, when perturbed from the equilibrium point, will not return to that point.

    So, for example, the point of an inverted cone is an unstable equilibrium point. I can balance a ball on it, and it won't go anywhere; but move it ever-so-slightly, and it will fall down. On the other hand, the bottom of a conical pit is stable; move the ball anywhere up from the bottom, and it will just fall back down again.

    These are basic definitions for this sort of mathematics. It probably wouldn't hurt, under the circumstances, to assume the author knows what's he talking about, you know.

    --
    Bjorn Christianson
  23. Re:Ok, this is going to get me branded a geek... by Graspee_Leemoor · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've always wondered how the vampires can even get a stiffy since they don't have a heartbeat....

    Well, yeah, I am a geek and a think too much- so sue me.

    graspee

  24. Re:Or how about this one... by jonr · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Where in heck does this #"$& soviet jokes come from? Did it originate here, like the "insensitive clod" and Natialie Portman? Or is something like "All your base are belong to us"?
    J.

  25. We need to calculate the buffy factor... by shaitand · · Score: 3, Funny

    It is without a doubt established that buffy is hot, how many male vampires will forsake their own kind to nail buffy??? This must be calculated into the equation.

  26. Re:You can get a Ph.D for that?! by dbenhur · · Score: 3, Informative

    Brian Thomas is a PhD candidate in ecology at Stanford University in California. He used MATLAB (running on a Sun Solaris 2.7 workstation and commanded remotely through Telnet) to manipulate equations and run the model. He'd like to thank Dr. Joan Roughgarden for teaching him the vast majority of what he knows about population dynamics, and he would be very interested in hearing your thoughts on this little treatise, because he is keen on spending a goodly portion of his career communicating science to intelligent but non-technical audiences (like you!).

  27. Re:I think the point (mentioned in the ed. comment by Planesdragon · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Have you ever watched it?

    And I mean really watched it, sat down and watched the two-hour roughly-in-order shots on FX at 7:00 EST?

    It's quite possibly the best-written low-budget hot chick show ever. Every inconsistency is either explained away or simply believable, given a simple modicum of suspension_of_disbelief.

    Contrast this with, oh, Star Trek or Andromeda or Farscape, or the other common "sci fi" series setups, and you'll see the "internal realism" he was talking about.

  28. There's one problem with this paper... by Lendrick · · Score: 4, Insightful

    It doesn't take into account how the citizens feel. Having grown up in a town of 40,000, I can tell you that one murder was pretty big news. I can only recall hearing about murders two times during my ten or so years living there. Even assuming that I missed a few, that still wouldn't account for 18 vampires feeding once every three days (that's 2190 deaths per year--13 percent of the total murder rate for the ENTIRE UNITED STATES (~16000/yr)).

    Anybody with half a brain would have moved out of that town long ago... and people ceratinly wouldn't be moving in.

    1. Re:There's one problem with this paper... by Machine9 · · Score: 3, Informative
      Nobody ever said a vampire has to kill the creature from which it feeds...

      Imagine a vampire grabbing someone from behind and sucking them till they pass out.

      That's how they did it in Vampire:The Masquerade from White Wolf, furthermore, in that game, if a avampire licks the bite wound it closes quickly, hiding the evidence...clever...

      Of course one may wonder how many Sunnydale vamps get a chance to feed before being staked...

  29. Re:I think the point (mentioned in the ed. comment by JabberWokky · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Jumping in here, I too thought it was "Xena does 90210", and wrote it off as idiotic tripe. Then I realized that most authors I know are raving fans, along with two literature professors I know and a friend who writes mideval frame tales for fun. So I gave it a shot.

    It takes a handful of episodes to 'get it'. It really is phenominally deeply well written. It also has self parodying fluff on top that is, at it's best, witty banter that rivals Oscar Wilde. Once you're in, you realize that these are really well written episodes. As you watch, you realize the season has a structure. As you watch seasons, you realize that the seasons have a pattern and the entire show, has a structure where things from season three play out in season six, and themes that are treated one way in season two (when they are in high school) are revisited and reexamined in season six (when she's trying to raise her little sister after her mother dies).

    It does parody itself, but it's a tongue in cheek, knowing parody when it does. Buffy will acknowledge in side comments about her wardrobe. In season five and six, when things get much more 'real' and very gritty, they still have their Rosencrantz and Guildenstern (and Johnathan), who lighten things up, but wind up with a similar end.

    Good writing, surprisingly good acting (even Sarah Michelle Gellar, who I thought was a ditzy figurehead of the show until Season 5's 'The Body')... it's a great show. There's a reason some people say it's the best thing on television.

    --
    Evan

    --
    "$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
  30. Sunnydale is much too easy by panurge · · Score: 3, Interesting
    I'm waiting for the Thomas analysis of populations in Ankh-Morpork. There should be sufficient information in the Pratchett oeuvre. How many trolls? How many dwarves? And exactly how big is Unseen University?

    There must be someone out there prepared to sponsor a Chair of Imaginary Population Studies and give this guy a job.

    --
    Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.