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Sklyarov Tells U.S. Court, 'I'm no hacker'
DaytonCIM writes "Dmitry Sklyarov, the Russian programmer at the centre of the first Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) prosecution, yesterday delivered his long-awaited testimony in the trial of his former employer, ElcomSoft." There are also stories at The Register and on CNET.
1. FIRST "In Soviet Russia, all your Beowulf clusters of hot grits imagine Natalie Portman is dying, found at her home naked, petrified and presumably paddled are belong to Heidi Wall's penis bird" POST
2. WTF???
3. Profit!
Let:
FP - First Post
AYB - All your base
ISR - In Soviet Russia
IBC - Imagine Beowulf Cluster
NPNP - Natalie Portman Naked and Petrified
HG - Hot Grits
SKD - Steven King Dead
BSDD - BSD Dying
HW - Heidi Wall
PB - Penis Bird
123P - 1,2,3 Profit
TAP - That's a paddling
So,
123P(FP(ISR +IBC(HG + NPNP(BSDD + SKD + TAP))))
Then why the hell are we supporting him? If he doesn't want to be associated with us, all he had to do was tell us.
Pffffft !
-- You see, there would be these conclusions that you could jump to
stupid us laws actually have consequences ... uh, YOU
You've got Jail!
~ New AOL 9.0 with DMCA support now available! It's the internet, only better! ~
using namespace slashdot;
troll::post();
Your comment is in violation of the Criminal Law Act under section 141 part B of Tajikistan. Extradiction proceedings are under way.
"She's a West Texas girl, just like me" - G.W Bush Iraqis
The DMCA controls YOU!
The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
Basically what Adobe is saying.
- We want elcomsoft to not release software that breaks our unbreakable security software.
Funny.
You'd think Adobe would either just step up and admit they ain't got shit, or fix their software. Mostly realize you can't make bits uncopyable...
Tom
Someday, I'll have a real sig.
The laws violate YOU!
Boffoonery - downloadable Comedy Benefit for Bletchley Park
With that logic, clearly god must be sued, for creating all things that can be used for crimes. I would someday like to walk into a place that says leave all weapons at the door, and stop at the door and refuse to enter. I am the ultimate weapon.
Karma: Excellent^(-t/Tau), Tau=Wittiness/Trollishness
Of course!
Forgive me for forgetting the all-holiness of big business.
A Minesweeper clone that doesn't suck
You can't argue that you shouldn't have to follow a countries laws while you are in that country. The origional issue was that a Russian citizen in Russia, working for a Russian company, shouldn't have to worry about US law.
;-)
Unless you make the mistake of stepping onto US soil. Then you get your ass tossed into jail for several months until you agree to come back and testify against yourself.
How many items in the US bill of rights did that cover? Good thing he wasn't a citizen.
fact: quite a few politicians have affairs.
fact: in some countries, adultury is punished by castration...
wonder what the case would be if another country did that to a visiting US diplomat?
do as we say, not as we do.
Looking for Book Reviews? Check out Literary Escapism.
Right, best be getting to it, then.
Good thing the law protects me from buying the end result from someone else instead of going through the process myself -- without doubt, a law that promotes that sort of self-sufficient, can-do spirit is just the sort of thing that made this country great.
Go to http://www.adobe.com/aboutadobe/pressroom/pressrel eases/200107/dmca.html (Sorry not sure how to link here)
Go all the way down to the bottom of the page and click on the U.S. Attorney's office link....
Is it porn for you too? Did they get hacked?
Who here has not scrambled for a NT Admin password recovery disk, or a ZIP password cracker, or swapped NVRAM chips between Suns?
Aw man, just when I was thinking I was l337 you had to throw the NVRAM one in there.
Does Adobe's software disable the "cp" function? If not, how does it protect copyrighted works even when their crap security isn't compromized?
Mod down posts with a "Free Mac Mini/iPod" sig, they're spam!
Scene: fade in to camera shot from behind the judge's shoulder, with a view of the courtroom.
Justice: Tell me again about the e-book cracking software.
Sklyarov: It breaks down like this, okay? It's legal to buy it; it's legal to own it; and if you're the proprietor of an Internet cafe, it's legal to sell it; but, but, that doesn't matter, because get a load of this: if you get stopped by a cop in Moscow, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Moscow don't have.
Justice: I'm there man, that's all there is to it, I'm fsckin' going.
Sklyarov: Yeah, baby, you'd dig it the most.
Follows a short silent moment.
Sklyarov: But you know what the funniest thing about Russia is?
Justice: What?
Sklyarov: The little differences.
Justice: Example?
Sklyarov: Well you can walk around the streets in Moscow, and get a pirated copy of MS Office for a dollar. And in St. Petersburg, you can buy pirated software in a computer store; and I don't mean no under-the-counter deal, I'm talking about a box on the shelf. And you know what font they use to type Unix commands in Russia?
Justice: What?
Sklyarov: The Cyrillic!
Justice: Eek!
Sklyarov: I've seen them do it, man, they fsckin' type like it's latin.
Justice: Ack!
Scene fades out...
Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
I don't know what's more unbelievable. That Adobe posted this link or that no one on /. has caught it yet!
-Go to Adobe's press release.
-Scroll down to the last question.
-Click on the US Attorney's office link.
Something tells me that Sophy's going to be getting a lot of revenge real soon... LMAO!
Homer sez: Mmmmmmm... tripe.
Un-news
I inadvertently downloaded your illegal description of how to circumvent a technological measure that effectively controls access to a work protected under 17 USC 1201 when I loaded this page of comments. Then I did it again when I hit reply. I'll be damned if I'm going to hit Preview.
I entirely agree that traffic should include the letter 'k', and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
"A language that doesn't affect the way you think about programming, is not worth knowing" - Alan Perlis
Maybe Saddam's developing Ebook decryption software! That must be why the U.S. is so desperate to go to war.
It's all about Adobe (and something to do with oil).
Topless in de Nederlands? Get real. Dutch summers require an overcoat. Sure, it may be legal to be topless UNDER the top coat.