Slashdot Mirror
Truth, Ownership, and the Scientific Tradition
number6x writes "The Physics Today website has an article by Robert Laughlin titled "Truth, Ownership, and the Scientific tradition". The article deals with some recent blunders in the scientific community like the falsification of data at lucent covered here on slashdot. The article is mainly about the conflict between the free exchange of ideas that the scientific community needs to survive, and the demand for property ownership that commercial sponsors demand."
Anybody?
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] gbd on #trolls
Date sent: Thu, 14 Dec 2000 22:06:25 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0004)
Right now, "gbd" is on #trolls. His host is
remarkably similar to momocrome's: gbd is
~gbd@adsl-63-200-62-16.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net
(george), whereas momocrome is
~natalie_p@cloaked.dsl.lsan03.pacbell.net (MOMOCROME).
Yet, he's able to present compelling evidence that he
is the one who currently holds the "gbd" usernick on
slashdot, who I do consider to be the real gbd in
light of the circumstances surrounding how I gave him
the account. Gbd's address looks like it's from SF,
whereas momocrome's is from LA, so that would suggest
they're not the same. But does anyone else have a
pacbell.net address that we know?
(This is CP0004)
Data falsifies YOU!
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] No respect
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 08:57:36 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0018)
Today was the appointed date for jury duty (postponed since this summer, since the idiots at the courthouse failed to divine that calling a student to duty in the county where he studies rather than resides permanently doesn't make any sense). It was my hope to get on a jury, since I highly value the (unconstitutionally diminishing) role of the jury in American jurisprudence.
I showed up this morning at the courthouse. After some buffoonery at the security check (hint: don't carry a cpu in your backpack when arriving for jury duty), I went upstairs where I signed in and was informed that I had already missed the video (shucks). I filled out some paperwork and was redirected to the grand-jury room.
This was a potential mixed blessing. Grand juries, as distinguished from petite ("normal") juries, are the first line that the state must cross before obtaining an indictment for the accused. They consist of 23 laypersons whose standard is "probable cause" rather than "reasonable doubt" and vote by majority rule whether to issue an indictment. The prosecutor presents his witnesses and evidence, and the defendant has no representation. Normally, the grand-jury trial is brief and 99% or so of all grand juries return an indictment. Prosecutors often refer to this statistic as the "ability to indict a ham sandich" if they so please. Grand juries usually sit for one day per week for three months, something that would screw up any student's semester.
The good thing about grand juries is that they have almost infinite investigatory powers to do whatever they please. What is not commonly understood is that the role of the grand jury isn't just to return a verdict in the form of an indictment; it's for members to question witnesses, subpoena evidence the prosecutor didn't present, and generally get the whole story. It's even within the power of the grand jury to expell the prosecutor and judge if the jury so decides.
I was prepared to give them hell. Once on a jury
(grand or otherwise), I was going to be the asshole
lawyer the defendant isn't allowed to have. I was
going to subpoena bank records, grill prosecutorial
witnesses, and vote to nullify anything I considered
unjust (even when "legal"). I was going to persuade
enough fellow jurors to kick out anyone we didn't
like, especially the prosecutor. In short, I was
going to troll the legal system.
But I didn't get that opportunity. After an hour of
sitting in the grand-jury room, we were informed that
we weren't waiting for a grand-jury seating: instead,
a petite-jury seating.
Petite juries, in states that value the constitution,
are 12-person panels that sit and hear evidence in the
actual criminal trial. Their role is ostensibly to
decide the facts and apply the law as directed by the
judge. Their actual role under the constitution
(though the Supreme Court doesn't require that you be
informed of this) is to sit in judgment not just on
the facts but also on the law. Again, I was hoping to
get a chance to nullify stuff: this time, drug laws
and other things I believe unconstitutional.
Again, I was denied. Only five minutes later, we were
informed that all the cases pending today were
plea-bargained, and we were "free to go". A sigh of
relief was heard throughout the room, as people who
didn't want to be there were grateful that they didn't
have to serve on a jury and perform the duty they
didn't want to perform. I was disgusted.
That's what's most wrong with plea bargaining in this
country. Not that 90% of cases never reach public
scrutiny because they're decided in the hallways of
courthouses. Not that people serve penalties for
unconstitutional charges. Not that real criminals get
off with reduced sentences. Not that the legislatures
feel free to pass an absurd number of laws without
caring whether the court system can handle the load of
giving each citizen true justice.
None of that.
What's wrong is that I, a troll, have been kept off my
damn jury. No respect.
(This is CP0018)
It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.
His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"
He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.
A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:
Bernard Shifman
Robert Novak
Scott Lockwood
Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.
Why Evil is Good
I hate victims. Victims are the albatross hung from the neck of society. The
term is not even acknowledged by any other species. I am certain if there are
intelligent beings elsewhere in the universe, they follow the strict principle
of Natural Selection. Only the Strong shall survive. Mankind cannot survive
as long as its virility is diluted by the weak.
Peace-and-Love hippies, retards, cripples, depressives, sickling, addicts
and whiners are all victims of one kind or another. Larger examples of victims
can also be found: the entire nations of Israel and Englund, for example, are
constantly victimized and/or whining about their lack of power in the world. In
fact, the entire continent of Europe is nothing but a festering sewer of whiners
and welfare states. If we, the strongest nation on Earth, had a decent Ruler,
the entire junk-heap of Eurotrash would be burned to create a cloud of such lethal
density it would waft over to Asia and take out the victims that were left over from
World War II. The great black column of suffocating smoke would rise high into the
atmosphere, reaching for the very edges of outer space - a giant, living monument
to our strength. The unviable ashes of the once living garbage would orbit the Earth,
forever reminding future generations of the price of weakness.
World War II. Probably the greatest single era in the history of the planet, barring
the time before Man and Man's distorted, unnatural philosophies of "common good" and
"protecting the innocent". The time of Germany and its rule by a man of great vision.
A man who saw the virtue of evil. Every single class of victim described above was
dealt with in the harshest possible manner. Most people focus on the genocidal aspect
of Hitler's activities but his vision was much wider, encompassing every brand of
weakling from ethnic victims to sexual deviants. Unfortunately the United States,
led by a cripple, had to involve our great military might on the wrong side of the
war. The least Roosevelt could have done was to allow Germany to finish raping
France and reduce Englund to rubble.
We paid for our mistake in World War II. We were punished for choosing the wrong
side in the Great War by a period of non-violent "Cold War". The term "Cold War"
itself is the mark of the true Beast: the peace lover. A true leader - a Ruler -
would have unleashed the full might of our nuclear arsenal upon every nation on the
Earth, banishing them forever to particles of glowing dust blowing through the winds
of history. And look what our lack of action has gotten us: A planet filled with
human garbage, eternal sufferers suckling from the breast of the Mighty.
It is beyond my comprehension. Not only am I forced to allow the weak to survive,
but I - we - are forced to subsidize their pathetic existence. Every cripple
creeping along the sidewalk. Every degenerate elderly woman with osteoporosis who
parks in the handicap parking spot. Every worthless, lazy hippy who cries for peace
and marches on a public university. Every sickling child perpetually hospitalized
because its fetid welfare mother smoked too many drugs during her pregnancy. Every
30 year old retard wiping its nose all over its Scooby Doo coloring book. Every
drunk little whore seeking "justice" in our courts for her rape. All of them,
and more, deserve nothing but death. In the Natural World, every single one of these
leeches would be lion fodder.
Even the "Good Book", the Bible - which is actually nothing more than the sick fantasies
of opium addicts - predicts the outcome of Nature: "The meek shall inherit the Earth".
Yes, I know what you're saying, but you are wrong. This phrase has been twisted by the
weak, the cripple, the Jew to give their pathetic lives some ray of hope. This phrase
does not mean that the Victim will Rule the world. That is laughable. That is impossible.
The meek shall inherit the Earth for the one and only reason that they will be buried in
it.
To the strong who have read this: Thank you. Together, we will conquer. To the weak who
will whine in the comments below: Your days are numbered, trash.
* * * *
God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 05:15 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#810)
But mainly help me. I had a long, dull business trip Tues. and Wed., and as a result I wrote the following (5000 words and still unfinished) Slashdot Troll FAQ. I haven't been able to build on 80md's original due to lack of connection, but the doct. below still needs revised. Specifically, it needs to be made more entertaining. See whatcha think.
jsm
Slashdot troll FAQ
We post inflammatory, satirical or just plain weird comments on slashdot, aiming to draw attention to ourselves and to distract discussion away from the matter at hand. We use satire, wit, art and other cultural weapons to give fun to the clueful and embarrass the clueless.
A good troll is a statement designed to inflame the passions of a certain type of reader. A troll is a contrary or controversial statement, which attacks a preconception of someone who is likely to read it, causing them to suspend their normal standards of critical thinking, and to fire off a combative response, without thinking that they are being had. This is the "classic" troll, aimed at enticing someone to make a fool of themself.
Yes. The "surrealistic" troll is a piece of prose, rambling, comic or just downright weird, inserted into a discussion where it seems at once utterly irrelevant and curiously in place. The common thread linking the types of trolls is that a certain kind of personality (read - far too uptight) gets irrationally annoyed by them.
Some kinds of trollish statement have been proven to work again and again, so naturally, some trolls have taken advantage of this fact to repeat them again and again. Certain individual trolls are more or less identified with certain types of trollish statement, and thus we have the idea of a "character" - a fictitious entity which is supposed to actually hold the views which are expressed in the troll's posts. Some of these characters have distinct personalities and maintain narrative coherence from troll to troll (see the "Microsoft Linux" episode between streetlawyer and DMG); some of them show up expressing the same or similar points of view again and again (the RWM and derivatives).
The number one maximally 1337 troll character is the RWM; the most established troll, with the most solid track record behind him. Opensource man and his creations is the oldest surreal troll; gnarphlager and auntfloyd also adopt this style. Paranoid Man is getting off the ground, and DMG and streetlawyer have their fans. Mindless Bastard is more of a style of trolling than a character per se. There are lots more people posting trolls than are listed here; these are just the repeating characters.
RWM is the Right Wing Maniac, a character with a hotch-potch of (often mutually incompatible) libertarian, Christian, and Objectivist views, who typically (mis)applies the general principles of his world-view to various slashdot topics. He tends to be keen on referring to people as "socialists", particularly if they consider themselves to be conservatives. Sometimes he's more of a religious nut; sometimes it's more the free market which rings his bell. There is also a Left Wing Maniac with a yen for spouting dialectical materialism, but he hasn't done much recently. It's worth noting that it is very rare to find a RWM troll thread in which at least one participant doesn't agree with most of RWM's views.
DMG is the Dumb Marketing Guy. He claims to have been involved in Linux for "at least four years, since the very beginning", and offers unsolicited "open source" marketing advice on Linux advocacy to the members of the community. He often takes a rather hurt tone in response to the welter of abuse which is the usual response to his advice.
For crying out loud, they ought to be self-explanatory, surely to heck?
Buggered if I know. Lots of trolls mention cheese, and seem to indicate that cheese has some sort of significance. Maybe it does.
Because he had a hard life, dragging himself up from the streets to get his fucken law degree from fucken Hah-vud, OK?
Well, sorry. But really, nobody cares (see below). You're too easily offended. Now purge the post from your board, log our IP address and go back to drawing your "After Y2K" comic (which is shit, by the way).
We don't do boring, uncreative shit which just makes slashdot harder to read. We're not into denial of service attacks - they aren't very funny. We're probably harsher opponents of the spam bunch than you are, because anything which encourages people to browse at levels above -1 makes our work harder.
Nope. Nezh.
Nope. Nada.
Errrr, well actually yes we have. Both of those ongoing trolls were written by regulars on the troll forum, and you're not going to find condemnation of them in this FAQ.
Read them. Untwist your underwear, stop fulminating over the momentary interruption to your terribly important discussion about Slackware and have a look at some of these posts. Open source Natalie Portman was a fine piece of Burroughsian prose and if you don't agree that it was, then you're wrong. The whole "Naked and petrified" thing was an absolute triumph - it provoked a huge amount of reaction, entertainingly interfered with a few people's heads by sexualising the context of slashdot and is still talked about, several months after the original author stopped bothering.
Sick to you, but that was actually the guy's genuinely held sexual fantasy. He was erotically excited by the thought of women turned to stone, and was letting the world know about it. Don't pretend that you weren't interested - it's absolutely fascinating.
Nope. I was taken aback myself, but there are several sites on the Net with active discussion boards on this very subject. It's not that very different from the subject of "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, where the hero has the power to stop time, effectively turning women into statues. And that is quite a common paraphilia.
No, it was a petrification fantasy. Which is something rather less threatening, because harder to act out (how many people really believed that anyone could actually turn Natalie Portman to stone?)
I'm sure she's not wonderfully happy about being the subject of someone else's tawdry sexual fantasies, but it kind of comes with the job. I doubt she loses much sleep.
Opensourceman's works (including the Star Wars series and Fat-time Charlie) are available online at: Craig MacPherson has a website at: , which probably has a few things on it to do with the petrification thing.
Wellllll
Why, for God's sake?
For a variety of reasons, but mainly to puncture the self-importance of a few people who deeply deserve it. Slashdot has a lot of very clever people posting, but vastly more individuals with a serious perception/reality gap with regard to their own intelligence. People who believe themselves to be perceptive, clueful, even deep thinkers while merely reciting lists of conventional wisdom deserve to be taken for a ride. And there's the sheer Skinnerian joy of it - if somebody, or some group of people have buttons, it's inhuman not to take delight in pushing them.
In order to do it properly.
No problem. Whining about moderation is for the moderation thread. Several trolls moderate more or less frequently (and meta-moderate - be very afraid), and there is very little genuine complaint about moderation on the troll threads. Any remarks about $3 crack are meant in a spirit of fun and affection, and are usually merely cris de coeur when a finely crafted troll has been rumbled in the first few seconds and down-modded.
That was funny.
Where is there? We've had a token go or two at Nitrozac and kuro5hin, and an abortive attempt to troll some of the statuephilia discussion boards with discussions about technology, but it just doesn't feel right. If you ain't on slashdot, you ain't, basically, trolling.
That isn't even true. Several of the troll regulars have enough Karma to post with the +1 bonus when they use their regular identities, which puts them in the top decile, according to Rob Malda. And there is a definite audience for quality trolls. Have you just been trolled? Is that why you're so angry? Calm down, it'll be someone else's turn in the barrel on Friday.
To paraphrase gnarphlager, yes, we have many better things to do, but we're not going to do them.
How can I recognise a troll?
If you want to spot a troll, then you're basically entering into a game, played against us. You have to keep your guard up, adopt a critical attitude to what you read and decide whether it is plausible that someone is actually posting that view. For our part, we will intermingle fact and fiction, invent plausible-sounding references and (always) attempt to attack your emotional involvement in a topic in order to make you drop your guard. The more ridiculous the proposition we sneak under your guard, the more we win. The angrier you get, the more we win. And you? As the computer said in War Games "The only way to win is not to play".
Usually, a troll will resemble a normal slashdot post, but will contain at least one thing which is not true. A good troll will contain material which obviously couldn't possibly be true, and would not fool anyone who gave it a moment's thought. The troll will also contain an inflammatory or controversial statement, designed to make sure that nobody does give it a moment's thought. Criticism of Linux, strong or offensive political views, mockery of "computer geeks", claims about the inferiority of women/Canadians/Perl, all of that stuff. Interestingly, having experimented with using outright, Bell-Curve-like racist statements to act as the controversial part of the troll, I've found that they never offend anyone, which I guess shows what a lily-white place slashdot is.
Obviously these rules apply more to the classic satirical model of a troll, but there is a strong family resemblance in the surrealist model. Looking at the best work of osm, gnarphlager, auntfloyd et al., you pick up a strong sense of the underlying form. There is the (often highly tenuous) link to the subject matter, the building sense of cognitive dissonance and then the denouement in which the troll moves into the realm of pure surrealist prose (or "gets silly", depending on how you look at it). Typically, when reading such a troll for the first time, and in the context of the thread, the reader's reaction goes through stages.
At the opening of the troll, in which the technological subject matter is being obliquely referred to, the reader is curious. There is an unconscious assumption that what is being used is a metaphor, which appears opaque but will actually make an argument clear (in such a way the surrealist trolls subvert the category of metaphor as used in scientific discussions). Then, the tension between the what the reader wants to read and what he/she sees on the page grows, but the reader still tries to hang on to the idea that he/she is reading "News for Nerds". Finally, when the reality (that is, the unreality) of the troll is revealed, the reader is outraged at having been tricked.
Thus, we can see that the distinction between the classical and surrealist trolls is one of inversion; metaphor versus metonymy. The classical troll traps the reader in metaphor, creating the "character" or authorial fiction, which the reader takes as a metonymy for "The Other" - the fictional creature on the screen is espousing Microsoft, or Libertarianism, or something else which must be ritually reacted to, rather than read as if it were a metaphorical text. The surrealist troll appears to use metaphor, but creates no authorial fiction. The piling up of the metonymic symbols of trolldom (cheese, Natalie Portman, the Troll itself) draws the reader into the pure text, looking for a meaning (or metaphor) which is always deferred. The reader wants to create an authorial fiction, but this is denied - and it is this denial which is the source of his/her rage. The surrealist troll lets the reader down with a bump - the satirical troll, in its purest form, never lets the reader out at all, leaving him/her stuck in a world which is false, because he/she is being manipulated by the authorial fiction. Classical trolling is about the use of metaphor to create metonymy; surrealist trolling is using metonymy to create metapor.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. (Ha ha, only serious)
Pretty much so, yeah. There's been "trolltalk", "trolltalk2", "31337troll" and a bunch of others. It's good to be able to see other people's work, to discuss trolling, and on occasion to have a way of proving for sure that something you wrote was a troll, to a particularly persistent mark.
If I could tell you, I'd have to kill you. There have been a few problems with people stalking some of the trolls, and spamming the troll forums with whitespace to make them unusable. There's no big secret or anything, it's just that we'd like to think that finding the troll forum requires a modicum of commitment and ingenuity. There's one pretty well-trafficked troll forum which is listed in most of the usual indices. Look, fuck it, you used to be able to find BBSes, didn't you? This is no different.
Yada yada yada.
Welllllll
Write a nice, long post, beginning with the phrase "I'm sure this is a troll, but
The only approved, correct, 1337 way to deal with a troll is not to reply at all. Don't say anything. Just sit back and feel smugly self-satisfied that you caught the troll. Go on. People always seem to say the word "smug" as if it were a bad thing, but how can something that feels so good be wrong? Smirk. Once the troll is "dead" (once the author has taken credit for it and admitted the troll), you might want to post a message about it. You'll probably get a nice reply.
Wellllll
Then you should be prepared to live with being a laughing stock. We live off people like you, who simply can't stop themselves from pouring out conventional wisdom, even when they know they are being made monkeys of. And no, the "I'm pretty sure
Well, fundamentally, it lacks class. For one thing, you're feeding the troll while pretending not to feed it, which is dishonest. For another, you're encouraging lots of enraged people to visit the troll forum. This means that the troll forum gets spammed, the trolls move, and you now will be forced to spot trolls for yourself rather than reading them off the list, lamer. Also, the trolls can't tell who it was who brought the spammer there, so all the other people who used to enjoy reading the daily trolls don't find out where the new forum is.
How can I start trolling for myself?
"Just do it", as that noted provider of employment to Indonesian children once said. Your first trolls are unlikely to be offensive enough to draw many responses, but once you lose your disinclination to be unpleasant, results will follow. Of course, you may incipiently be a natural trolling genius like dmg, who got huge pops from the get-go. Choose a story which will get a lot of traffic, try to get an early, top-level post, etc, etc (here might follow a whole load of shit from the Karma HOWTO which I'm not going to reproduce). And, offend. You might want to start off with a right-wing maniac troll.
RWM is the source from which it all flows. Like an origami master building everything from a folded base, or a woodworker turning a chair-leg, the entirety of the art is encapsulated in this one element. It is possible to dedicate your entire trolling career to the perfection of the RWM (troll gods 80md and 70% more or less have done). If you can't write an RWM troll, you can't write a troll.
The key to the RWM troll is to realise its heritage from Usenet. Usenet trolling was all about cross-posting controversial statements to start flame-wars between different newsgroups. On slashdot, you can't cross-post, so you have to identify people who can be brought into conflict where you are. The beauty of the RWM troll is not so much that he sets rightwingers against leftwingers, but that he creates cognitive dissonance in rightwing readers, because they want to agree with his conclusions (or at least, his less obviously mad ones), but can't bring themselves to accept his reasoning (or simulation thereof). RWM also exploits the fact that a lot of people with right-wing views haven't necessarily thought out those views very comprehensively, and so are vulnerable to cognitive dissonance caused by the inconsistency of what they believe. Among the elements of right-wing mania are:
Obviously, everyone who disagrees with a RWM is a socialist, even if they don't think they are.
Further information
From: Ceee Peee
:)
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Vlad needs to be terminated
Date sent: Thu, 4 Jan 2001 01:32:20 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0012)
Did you guys get to it before vlad deleted the img tag to hello.jpg? Apparently authors are given free reign to put all sorts of html in their stories.
I wouldn't worry too much about vlad fucking things up. Our own slash site would be ideal, of course, but short of that, I'm in favor of using a site where we have registered authors who can clean up the crap and play with the settings. Today, I gave myself god mode (such wonderfully secure stuff, slashcode is) and created author "gbd" for the purpose of posting gbd's communism article (vlad'll shit a brick, I'm sure) before deleting the author to clean up -- it's not out of the question to create other authors for the rest of you guys, though the polite thing would be to run it by vlad first. I also got ahold of vlad's slashdot password, though I don't plan to do anything with it (he already metamodded). He's not the brightest in the bunch, but he's tame, and I'm not sure he's figured out the db enough to track us down.
I'm still working out the details so don't quote me, but a potentially workable scenario by my metric is: we each get author status, we post a hidden section article on geekizoid as no-comments (like zengan did with the iraq article way back when), and since we're all authors, we can override the "no comments" aspect and post away. Someone might still be able to find t, but at least the signal/noise level won't be any orse than we ourselves make it.
--- jlb wrote:
> On Thu, 4 Jan 2001, John Montoya wrote:
> > And actually, his "Alan Greenspan" story was quite
> > funny.
>
> Just found out, that was by cp, fyi.
>
> You didn't think vlad came up with it, did you?
>
> --
> "Is this real?"
> "Does it matter?"
>
(This is CP0012)
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] New Debian advertisements, by me!
Date sent: Mon, 16 Oct 2000 15:55:53 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0025)
Hey, you missed part of her armpit. She's a statue with a living,
breathing armpit. I'm trying to find some irony there, but I can't.
Otherwise, jolly good show.
Craig McPherson <craig@laceyonline.com> wrote:
>I've done some unofficial new advertisements for Debian Linux.
>http://users.ipa.net/~cmcpher/newad.jpg
(This is CP0025)
From: cptroll
.sig files as well. Not a big deal.
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Have I gone soft?
Date sent: Mon, 16 Oct 2000 13:01:08 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0024)
Marc Stauffer <marc@ksac.com> wrote:
>: True. I still think karma as a persistent user property ought to be
>: eliminated. It's fine to score individual comments, and even to award a
>: special +1 comment bonus to selected "good posters", but karma as a prop for
>: the self-esteem of pathetic geeks, or as a game, is dumb. At the very least,
>: karma should not be displayed, not even one's own karma. And if it's going
>: to exist, it ought to be aged so that my recent activity is treated as a
>: better predictor of the value of my next comment than something I wrote a
>: year ago.
Bah, I'd hate this, but then I'm too much a karmawhore at heart. But if we could somehow increase the amount of quality moderation (to get rid of brainless drivel, not just spam) and rely on our abilities to craft quality-sounding trolls, then I wouldn't complain too much if we got rid of karma altogether and got rid of the +1 bonus along with it. Originally, the +1 bonus was reserved by just a few, but now every lamer and his dog has it. It's lost all meaning.
>What this doesn't solve, however, is the inherent problems
>with moderation. Not with the system, mind you, but with the
>users. There needs to be stricter policies, e.g. no
>usernames displayed when you moderate, or something along
>those lines, and the penalties for crummy mods need to be
>higher. In fact, people need to be banned from moderating
>more often since they simply suck at it.
I'd been thinking along the lines of hiding usernames during moderation, if nothing else than to help us trolls with recognizable usernames who get unfair moderation simply for being trolls in general than just on a particular post. I can see several0 problems, though:
1) It won't stop the most dedicated of trollbusters who will keep a separate window open as AC where they can see people's usernames. These are the moderators who most need to be stopped, and yet this restriction won't do so.
2) It will add a social cost to moderating itself. People might just start throwing their points at crap just to get back to normal mode where they can see who's talking. But it could cut both ways.
3) It'll increase the amount of noisy replies screaming: "Moderators! Don't you realize streetlawyer/flatpack/etc. is the one saying this?!?!?!" We don't need that.
4) You'd have to hide
(This is CP0024)
[bc] momomomo :) :) :) How'd you find it? Is it the one where he takes the drug and it makes him recklessly courageous? :)9 945 ;) :-) LOL :-) :-) :-) :-) :\2 27.shtml?tid=109 :-) /etc/resolv.conf, or tweak my registry, or any of that hippie geek bullshit, I just want to do my fucking work...... stmo ry.jsp?story=351901 /topic whatever you want the topic to be here /msg nickserv identify yerpass /msg chanserv op #adequacy dmg :-( /topic test /quote topic test /quote topic test, it does that too8 776 ;) :\
[momocrome] KKK and the kuro5hin/modsub - a monograph of prophecy
[momocrome] Dear Reader, there will be flames./
[bc] heh
[momocrome] there is a lot of wackyness in today's queue
[bc] there's been this running anti-liberal crapflooding
[momocrome] I have a dry story about low-emission engines and electric hybrids nearly ready
[bc] up from the grass roots
[bc] heh, nice
[momocrome] it would be hailed as a masterwork during a flood like this
[bc] yes, it'll get a zillion FPs
[bc] make sure it is typo-free and don't bother with edit mode, post it straight
[momocrome] I'll crack it open
[momocrome] I was also working on a history of the Rastafarian Faith...
[momocrome] maybe that would be more timelyu
[bc] hmmn, which is closer to completion?
[bc] get something out there fast to capitalise on friday busyness and frustration
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[momocrome] trollaxor is making the rounds in #kuro5hin
[momocrome] oops he's left
[bc] wanker
[momocrome] I thought you might want to say hi to him, bc
[bc] not really
[bc] I won't forgive him for his involvement in the vlad-persecution and, in general, his fuckwitishness
[Captain_Tenille] Hmm. Just left #giz, too
[momocrome] bc?
[bc] what?
[momocrome] i am msging you thx
[momocrome] a private msg for bc... do you accept?
[cyndrekit] i will
[cyndrekit] zuul, seen perdida?
[zuul] perdida was last seen on #adequacy 2 days, 20 hours, 26 minutes and 34 seconds ago, saying: byeees [Tue Nov 12 18:40:22 2002]
[shoeboy] hullo
[Captain_Tenille] Hey shoeboy
[shoeboy] hey ct
* shoeboy is bored bored bored
[Captain_Tenille] How goes?
* Captain_Tenille is on the verge of falling asleep
[momocrome] wow, first trollaxor, now shoeboy. it's like 2000 A.D. all over again.
[shoeboy] watching cpu activity on a server
[shoeboy] it's almost hypnotic
[shoeboy] I've got a task that wakes every 2 seconds, so it's nice an rhythmic
[Captain_Tenille] "We now return to the thrilling conclusion to "CPU Levels on a Server". There will be no further interruptions."
[shoeboy] 33% activity across 4 processors
[shoeboy] spikes every 2 seconds
[shoeboy] exciting
[momocrome] so is that four physical processors, or two hyperthreaded xeons?
[shoeboy] 4 physical procs
[shoeboy] hyperthreading is garbage
[momocrome]
[Captain_Tenille] Awww
[momocrome] Hyperthreading is the flavor of the month.
[Captain_Tenille] Someone is making a lasagna for my gf and I.
[shoeboy] hrm... I was reading the wrong counter, cpu is only at 8%
* bc smacks his lips
[bc] food was excellent
[bc] now for smoke
[bc] hi shoe btw
* shoeboy finished "Flasman and the Mountain of Light" last night
[bc] great
[bc] I was LMAO at that
[shoeboy] no, it's the one covering the sikh war
[bc] oh, the Koh I Noor?
[bc] Khalsa etc?
[Captain_Tenille] Isn't that a large jewel of some sort?
[shoeboy] yeah
[shoeboy] that's the one
[bc] that's a good one
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[Captain_Tenille] I can't remember if it's a diamond or an emerald
[shoeboy] the bit where he's instructing the Sikh Wazir on how to lose is brilliant
[shoeboy] it's a diamond
[bc] I love the idea of all the intrigue
[dmg] whasssssuuuuup ?
[bc] one side trying to lose, but make it look like they had tried
[bc] hey dmg
[dmg] hey bc
[dmg] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=467
[dmg] I don't like it one bit...
[Captain_Tenille] Is that the list of names?
[dmg] yeah
* Captain_Tenille posted that in here earlier today
[dmg] Mr McP
[dmg] up to his old tricks
[dmg] or
[bc] yes. It' probably craig, perhaps osm
[Captain_Tenille] Do we know anyone in Arkansas?
[dmg] and anti McP trying to discredit Mr McP
[dmg] why Arkansas ?
[Captain_Tenille] Doesn't craig live there?
[shoeboy] yup
[Captain_Tenille] Maybe a hit could be put out on him.
[bc] he lives not too far from kansas City
[Captain_Tenille] Arkansas is a small state.
[bc] which is where he and osm and trollaxor get together to take photos of them in their "phoneboys" garb
[dmg] isn't KKKlinton from Arkansas ?
[Captain_Tenille] Ja.
[Captain_Tenille] bc: Where's osm from?
[momocrome] osm is kansas too, iirc
[bc] KC is where he lives
[bc] same as trollaxor
[Captain_Tenille] Ah.
[dmg] the intrigue
[Captain_Tenille] I knew trollaxor lived there, but not osm.
[shoeboy] I wonder where Craig got my name?
[dmg] trolling subculture is just so....
[bc] yay, fujaba downloaded after only 4 attempts, damned germans
[Captain_Tenille] So much intrigue over absolutely NOTHING!
[dmg] intenst
[bc] hehe shoe
[dmg] shoeboy:
[dmg] wasn't he on the list ?
[momocrome] heh shoeboy
[shoeboy] dmg, I've never been on the list
[dmg] I could have sworn...
[bc] the list is dead anyway
[dmg] at least 20721 is quite funny at the moment
[dmg] in a manic depression/add sort of way
[bc] there's one post every 6 months and has been for 18 months
[dmg] bc: which list are you talking about ?
[bc] k22320
[dmg] k22320inchfan ?
[dmg] oh
[bc] no, the other one
[dmg] editors@
[dmg] adequacy.org
[bc] nono
[bc] not that one either
[bc] you know, the *real* one. Weren't you invited?
[dmg] what the real TOP SECRET one that noone knows about ?
[dmg] ok
[dmg] we are on the same page now.
[bc] hehe
[bc] k22320, I meant, for being totally dead
[dmg] aha
[dmg] I met spiralx and IAT last night
[bc] *k22320inchfan is dying
[dmg] red ink
[dmg] etc
[dmg] kreskin
[dmg] face facts
[bc] charnel house
[dmg] all practical purposes
[dmg] netcraft
[dmg] look at the figures
[dmg] IAT had a goth woman move into his flat
[dmg] from match.com
[bc] wow really?!?
[dmg] yeah
[bc] I'm sure I'm the one that showed him match.com
[bc] also, last I saw him was sunday
[dmg] she sat around all day watching "monarch of the glen" on tv
[bc] he was moaning about having split up with his gf
[dmg] that's her
[bc] redhead?
[dmg] she was 15st, goth, redhead 6'2"
[dmg] allegedly
[bc] haha! That lying bastard, he was criticising hotornot and internet dating
[dmg] he is going to try again...
[bc] anyway, this means but one thing: match.com must be searched for iat's ex-gf
[dmg] LOL LOL LOL LOL
[dmg] keywords goth "monarch of the glen"
[dmg] tv
* Captain_Tenille is mistrustful of girls taller than him
[bc] haha
[dmg] I am mistrustful of the female sex
[dmg] in general.
[dmg] especially after my eventful wednesday evening...
[Captain_Tenille] I am six feet tall.
[Captain_Tenille] Any female taller than that is a mostrosity and a mutant!
[dmg] no no no
[dmg] we are all equal in the eyes of god
[bc] what happened on wed?
[dmg] tall, short
[dmg] white black
[dmg] libertarian, communist
[dmg] bc: you know my friend ?
[bc] yes
[dmg] I was right about her
[dmg] she DID want me.
[bc] and she told you as much?
[dmg] I am now sporting a sex-related injury
[bc] haha
[dmg] its not funny
[dmg] my leg hurts
[bc] good. Yes, it is funny though
[dmg] when I put weight on it
[dmg] it was so amusing.
[bc] another #adequacy dating advice success!
[dmg] it was pretty much the most rampant sex I have had in my life...
[dmg] so much for her protestations of not being interested
[bc] hehe
[dmg] #adequacy rules !!!!
[dmg] doing the right thing for the wrong reasons!!!
[dmg] I was late for work
[bc] you're lucky. All I came home to on wednesday was a fucking nasty writ from Ayr Sherriff County Court.
[dmg] LOL
[bc] well, not from them, but requesting that I appear before them
[dmg] Which reminds me, better go and pay my credit card bill brb
[bc] "request" being more like "appear or else"
[Captain_Tenille] GodDAMN it!
[Captain_Tenille] My fucking office chair just broke!
[bc] haha
[Captain_Tenille] I loved that chair.
[bc] did it happen while you were sitting in it, with the result that you spread everywhere hilariously?
[Captain_Tenille] No. It fell over after I stood up, and one of the bottom things broke off.
[Captain_Tenille] It had been breaking for a couple of weeks.
* Captain_Tenille has not had a pleasant past couple of weeks.
[bc] heh
[bc] fuck sake, fucking fucking fujaba gives and exception on the one major piece of functionality I wanted
[bc] goddamned thing
[bc] "write once, run anywhere" [-haha
[dmg] bc what do the authorities want with you ?
[dmg] presumably they are trying to coerce you
[dmg] in some way
[bc] they are, but rightfully. it is not the government that is coercing me, but I private organisation I have breached a contract with
[cyndrekit] hehe this is by far my favorite scoop site design wise http://www.artificialcheese.com/
[bc] and now have to plea with, though hopefully I should be successful
[dmg] bc: I am surprised
* Captain_Tenille is bored
[dmg] I thought you of all people would honour a voulantary contract!
[dmg] being an anarcho-capitalist/libertarian and all that
[bc] well I would have, but I didn't realise I was breaking it until it was too late
[dmg] ignorance is no defence
[bc] ]:(
[bc] everybody makes mistakes and suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
[dmg] yes, but a contract is a CONTRACT. Its the fundamental bedrock of society....
[bc] I agree! And people break them, sometimes in error, sometimes deliberately, and in both cases restitution is just
[dmg] you will get what's coming to you, mark my words...
[bc] I willfully submit to the court and can only plead before them, they are human beings and shall hopefully see my POV
[bc] and grant me a return into the contract as it was before
[dmg] I hope they don't let you get away with anything....
[Captain_Tenille] What did you not do, bc?
[dmg] after all, a contract is legally binding, and freely entered in to.
[dmg] it would be a mockery and a travesty if they let you get away with flouting it.
[bc] of course it is, dmg, however it is not a mockery and a travesty if they accept all too human error at their discretion, Humanity is at the heart of our justice system too, and the company whose contract I have breached is composed of employees who are human beings, and should see this as nothing but a simple error
[dmg] bc: I expect the contract will have a just penalty clause for this kind of situation...
[bc] I don't think it does. It is a fairly unusual situation
[bc] but I am willing to accept penalties
[dmg] slashdot blatantly trolls it's moronic readership again.... http://ask.slashdot.org/askslashdot/02/11/13/2127
[dmg] "While I did pay Microsoft for Office for Mac, I try to avoid filling their coffers whenever possible, so for all the family/friends who rely on me for computer recommendations I recommend Mac or Linux."
[dmg] Wanker.
[dmg] Liar too
[bc] haha
[bc] holy crap
[dmg] its straight from the "howto"
[dmg] category "elitism"
[bc] I especially like this bit:
[bc] My own situation is that I use an IT-mandated Win98 (ugh) laptop at work, but at home I'm Mac OS X all the way.
[bc] huh??
[dmg] WIn98 and MacOs are virtually indistinguishable to normal people.
[bc] My own situation is that I use an Prprietary system I (ugh) laptop at work, but at home I'm Proprietary System II all the way.
[dmg] exactly
[dmg] but who gives a fuck, anyway ?
[dmg] its just a fucking computer.
[dmg] Its not a life-or-death issue.
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[bc] it's not anti-proprietary reasoning, it isn't anti-crapsoftware reasoning, it is anti-MS reasoning and that's it
[bc] yes
[bc] it's a damned computer! who cares
[dmg] I just want to get my work done.
[bc] What keeps me on windows? (Score:5, Funny)
[bc] by Real World Stuff on Friday November 15, @04:26PM (#4680158)
[bc] (User #561780 Info | http://www.elbbs.com/elbbs/jude/hegebaby.html | Last Journal: Friday November 08, @01:30PM)
[bc] Why the Microsoft ads on Slashdot of course!
[dmg] I don't want to edit my
[bc] same here
[bc] I like that windows is so closed
[bc] otherwise I'd just be horsing around forever
[bc] all the time
[dmg] Looks like the yanks may have caught Osama!!!
[bc] as it is, it just works
[bc] wow really??
[dmg] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2482545
[dmg] doesn't mention him by name...
[dmg] but I bet al-jazeera is well infiltrated by MI5/6
[dmg] and they seem to have a hotline to him
[bc] hmmn
[bc] I doubt they are well-infiltrated
[dmg] "I can't tell you when, I can't tell you where, I can't tell you how," said one unnamed official. "But this is a big deal."
[dmg] Who else can they be talking about ?
[bc] Sources told the Reuters news agency that the person who had been captured was neither al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man, Ayman al-Zawahri, nor operational leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, nor Bin Laden's son Saad.
[bc] heh, who does that leave I wonder?
[dmg] I need to go check out my conspiracy sites...
[dmg] http://argument.independent.co.uk/commentators/st
[bc] dmg, you'll like this a lot: http://reason.com/0210/artifact.shtml
[dmg] Bin Laden is alive
[dmg] Fucking-A!!!!
[bc] hehe
[dmg] I LOVE it....
[dmg] it hints at so much
[dmg] without actually saying anything.
[bc] I love the blurb underneath
[bc] what were they thinking?
[dmg] the latin phrase is the icing on the cake
[bc] "Hmmn, a big eye looking over the earth, that will be reassuring and comforting!"
[dmg] someone has an awesome sense of humour
[bc] that agency is big and nasty though
[dmg] I am surprised that the Euro does not feature pyramids on its banknotes.
[bc] they are doing the supposed Carnivore II stuff
[dmg] oh
[bc] http://reason.com/sullum/111502.shtml
[dmg] this will be logged then.
[bc] I love reason.com
[dmg] bin laden, terrorism, dirty bomb, al-quaida
[dmg] oklahoma city
[dmg] fbi
[dmg] cia
[dmg] etc
[bc] that and justin raimondo and von mises and aldaily are worth a daily read
[bc] as well as being a sexy, sexy man
[dmg] men are not sexy to me.
[dmg] except Sam Sloan.
[dmg] he has the experience of life
[bc] I find justin sexier than sam sloan
[bc] though sam is pretty sexy
[dmg] were I ever to turn gay and desire rampant butt sex
[bc] http://www.antiwar.com/justin/justincol.html
[bc] just look at his rugged good looks
[dmg] Sam would be the man for the job.
[bc] (and remember, he actually is gay)
[dmg] bc: everyone is bisexual
[dmg] "gays" are just repressed
[bc] hehe
[dmg] "The US was finally forced to acknowledge yesterday that the man some of them had claimed to be dead was still very much in the land of the living - and uttering the kind of threat that fulfils the worst nightmares of Western leaders."
[bc] "Most of us 'neo-isolationists,' a disparate, contentious lot, are realy [sic] not 'neo' anything. We are old church and old right, anti-imperialist and anti-interventionist, disbelievers in Pax Americana. We love the old republic, and when we hear phrases like 'New World Order,' we release the safety catches on our revolvers." --Pat Buchanan
[bc] I love that!
[dmg] is that they are too intellectual for the masses.
[dmg] we need "new Conservatives"
[dmg] Thatcherism with better marketing
[bc] there're the "neoconservatives" in USia
[bc] so the label is really taken, by the wrong people
[bc] our conservatives just suck
[dmg] I am economically right wing, and socially, I don't give a fuck what you do so long as I don't have to subsidise it....
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[Sulla] damn
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[dmg] thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life...
[dmg] bc:
[dmg] how do I set the topic
[bc] first, get yourself opped
[bc] then
[bc] to op yourself, type
[dmg] can you op me
[bc]
[bc] ok wait a sec, I'll reg myself
[dmg] that didnt work
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o dmg
[cyndrekit] whats going on?
[bc] there
[bc] cyn?
[cyndrekit] ahh
[cyndrekit] topic changes
[dmg] it still doesn't work
[bc] eh??
[bc]
[cyndrekit] i can do it
[bc] try that
[dmg] I type "/topic" test
[bc] you do it in quotes?
[dmg] "no topic is set"
[bc] huh
[dmg] does it make a difference ?
[bc] are you using trillian?
[dmg] bc: yes
[bc] can you right click or whatever or try clicking on the topic or whatever, they have probably gui-ed it
[dmg] nothing happens
[bc] hmm
[bc] try
[bc] ?
[bc] oh
[dmg] "No Topic is set"
[bc] when I do
[bc] so yer fucked unless you use a different client seems to me
[bc] tell me what you want the topic to be, and I'll do it
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*** ChanServ sets mode: +o bc
[dmg] bc:
[dmg] thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life...
[dmg] thats the topic
*** bc changes topic to 'thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life... (dmg, not me, obviously)'
[dmg] well dony
[bc] woohoo!
* bc continues searching for a UML modeller that is free and works, goddamnit to hell
[dmg] did you know tombuck is a wannabe slashdot troll ?
[dmg] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=44937&cid=465
[cyndrekit] "how many #adequacy ops does it take to change a topic?"
*** Retrieving #adequacy info...
[bc] LOL
[bc] @cyn
[cyndrekit] hehe
[dmg] cyn: adequacy ops don't do "techie" stuff. They pay someone else to do it
[cyndrekit] so iv'e noticed...
[cyndrekit]
[bc] that's tombuch dmg?? coo
[dmg] apparently
[dmg] he's new to trolling
[bc] he got 22 mod points spent on him, that's pretty impressive
[dmg] not bad
[dmg] slagging off NASA always pulls them in.
[bc] I remember my first successful troll like it was yesterday
[bc] oh the exhilleration!
[bc] it was a post called "Why HAL should never be developed"
[bc] by Kiss the Blade
[bc] that was trademarkedly luddite, anti-techi, and snooty and superior and artistic and such
[bc] in a boring story about 2001: A Space Odyssey or some crap
[dmg] KTB was good
[bc] it was a laugh, and about my 3rd ever post, and it got 40 replies
[dmg] trolling
[dmg] those were the days
[dmg] nowadays it has become impossible to troll
[bc] that was at eexactly the same time as everybody abandoned sid=trolltalk for the k5 trolltalk sid
[dmg] Baudrillard would say that trolls are indistinguishable from genuine opinions
[dmg] they are simulacra
[bc] and I didn't know any of you lot, so I was left all alone, and nobody noticed my sublime period of success ]~((
[dmg] ive been thinking about that a lot.
[dmg] It does not matter whether the expounder of a viewpoint is sincere
[dmg] and then I will be in Tokyo/south Korea in April /msg datebot Why aren't women drawn to my l33t Linux skilz?
[dmg] Who are you anyway Lumpen ?
[bc] you are drunk ever 36 hours
[dmg] I am not sure I should be giving this information out.
[Lumpen] Just a fan, dmg.
[county] Well, I need to stay sober for now, because I have a date!
[First_Incision] why am I always sober? I should take up this drinking thing.
[county] Yes, do.
[First_Incision] maybe I just need to get used to it. I could never drink enough to get drunk. Once I could feel stupidity creeping up, I could never bring myself to continue.
[county] Strange.
[dmg] county: did you get your date from reading the excellent dating advice available here on #adequacy ?
[county] Once I can feel stupidity creeping up, I can't bring myself to stop.
[county] dmg, I actually lied about having a date.
[Lumpen] does #adequacy have a dating-advice bot?
[dmg] county: its IRC
[dmg] you can lie if you want
[First_Incision] Lumpen: it should!
[First_Incision] zuul, dating?
[zuul] first_incision: wish i knew
[First_Incision] zuul, women?
[zuul] bugger all, i dunno, first_incision
[First_Incision] zuul, men?
[zuul] men are really just boys with financial responsibilities
[dmg] zuul, should I visit a whore ?
[zuul] dmg: wish i knew
[county] I witnessed an shocking display of female pettiness and cruelty today. It put me off.
[Lumpen]
[First_Incision] zuul, linux
[zuul] hmmm... linux is a big POS half rate OS that encourages pirates and blatant faggotry!!!!!
[bc] perhaps you aren't skillful enough
[First_Incision] there you go!
[bc] if you can use these skills to make lots&LOTS of money, they will be drawn to those skills
[Lumpen] Not skilzful enough?
[dmg] zuul, bsd
[zuul] rumour has it bsd is dying
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[Lumpen] But I installed the Linux on my home b0xen all by myself!
[Lumpen] You should just reopen Adequacy. The joke has gone on long enough.
[First_Incision] Perdida has her Iniquity "Daily", but I can't seem to finish an article for it.
[Lumpen] Iniquity?
[First_Incision] www.iniquitydaily.com
[dmg] adequacy is dead. Red ink flowed like a river of blood! you didn't have to be Kreskin to see that it was dying. Fact: adequacy is dead.
[county] perdida has a scoop site?
[county] Oh heavens, do spare us.
[Lumpen] It looks like the most recent article on iniquitydaily was posted about a month ago.
[First_Incision] yeah
[Lumpen] Lame.
[First_Incision] And it was a k5 reject
[cyn-away] bc knows more about it
It's time to add Rusty Foster to "the list" of people who shouldn't be breathing.
Kuro5hin, "the democratic news site", has abandoned all pretenses of Democracy and has gone into full Fascist/Censorship mode.
These are the recent deeds of Kuro5hin.org:
1. Deleting numerous comments entirely, circumventing the site's established ratings procedure. Many of the comments deleted were highly rated at the time of deletion, indicating that THE PEOPLE wanted them to stay.
2. Disabling numerous user accounts. Many of these accounts were disabled before they even posted anything.
3. Enacting IP bans against several users, and adding additional IP bans as these persecuted people kept changing IPs to avoid censorship.
4. Deleting many diaries, including several that contained no abusive/offensive content, for no reason and with no warning or notice.
5. Keeping all this secret, because Rusty Foster knows he would be lynched by his readership if his Nazi-like practices were evar revealed.
Disabling dozens of accounts... deleting dozens of comments... banning dozens of IPs and several entire subnets... is this Democracy??
Rusty Foster is going to be second against the wall when the revolution comes, right behind his gay lovebuddy William Scott Lockwood III.
Thoughout history, many names have been used to describe those who are on the wrong moral path in life: coward, criminal, fiend, monster, vagrant, lunatic. It's without question that William Scott Lockwood III is all of these things, but these are things that can be forgiven. William Scott Lockwood III's sins run deeper.
In many cultures, the greatest moral offense a man can commit isn't murder, robbery, rape, arson, or even blasphemy. In these cultures, there's a word for someone who is even lower than the murderers and rapists, because he has demonstrated with clear finality his lack of moral character. This one word, never used carelessly, reserved only for the lowest of the low is oathbreaker.
Many societies value personal honor, honesty, and integrity above anything else. People can make mistaks, and still maintain their honor if they take accountability for their actions. But the oathbreaker is the lowest of the low, never to be forgiven, and never to be trusted. This is because he has voluntarily sacrified the only thing that every man brings with him into the world, and the only thing that every man (hopefully) takes with him into the grave: his honor.
When a man's honor is gone, he has nothing.
Ladies and gentlemen, William Scott Lockwood III has nothing. If our society were still built on the concept that a man's word is sacred and that honoring others with the truth is a noble goal, William Scott Lockwood III would be dead right now.
A man's word is his bond, and when he breaks his word, he's no longer a man at all. He's worse than a coward, worse than a liar, and worse than a thief, but he's all these things and more. He's an oathbreaker.
In the past, oathbreakers become nonpersons. They stand below even murderers and thieves. Even beggars would not give or recieve comfort from an oathbreaker. Quite often, they were simply killed outright. Sometimes, they were merely cut off from honest society, trusted by no one, alienated until the day they died. After their death, their families were shunned and distrusted forever, because a man holds in his hand no only his own honor, but the honor of his family as well.
The Lockwood family has no honor left. The Lockwood family has no place in honest society, among civilized humans, because they have no honor, and they are not a part of civilization.
Killing an oathbreaker was considered to be an act of mercy, sending a tortured soul on to final judgement instead of forcing him to live an empty, hollow life.
Maybe it's time that we bring back the practice of killing oathbreakers, and ensuring that their bloodline does not propogate. Maybe a lack of honesty is what's wrong with our society. Maybe that's why everything is falling into chaos around us. When you can't trust a man's word, what basis is there for civilization?
I think upon consideration that you will agree: William Scott Lockwood III is less than a gentlemen, less even than a man, less even than a human, less even than an animal. William Scott Lockwood III is an oathbreaker.
Dedicated to teaching quality Trolling skillz
STEP 1 : Pick a story and search through for a highly-rated or otherwise prominent comment in which someone uses a nubmered list. For example, you want to find something like this:
EXAMPLE:
- Blah!
- Blah!
- Blah!
For example, I selected this post as a prime target. There are only a few things to keep in mind: pick an active story and a comment that'll be seen by a lot of people as the target of your troll. The comment MUST contain a numbered list, similar to the above, although the exact style of numbering can vary. Also, try to pick a comment that hasn't already been trolled this way. Every comment with a numbered list will eventually get hit, so you want to be quick.STEP 2 : Take careful note of the method of numbering that your target post is using. It really doesn't matter, as long as it's numbered. For example, in this post I use text like "STEP 1", "STEP 2", etc. Note this carefully. This method of trolling makes the most sense when the list is a list of ordered steps (such as this vary document you are reading), BUT if the numbered list is something different, such as "REASON 1:", "REASON 2:", etc., hit it anyway! Your troll will be more esoetric and non-sequitur, but all the better: trolling doesn't always HAVE to make sense. Sometimes it's fun to confuse people.
STEP 3 : Now you'll put the information gained from step 2 to good use, as you attack the target you selected. This is where it gets complicated, so pay attention. This is easiest to explain with a couple of examples. Let's say your target looks like this:
TARGET POST:
Now, to pull off your masterfult act of trollage, you'll want to sneak in, post a reply, and do this:
TROLL REPLY:
- 4. ???
- 5. PROFIT!
Let's say that the post you're replying to is a bit more complex:TARGET POST:
Reasons Linix is so great!
*REASON 1: My allowance won't cover expensive software.
*REASON 2: Completely off-topic rant about Microsoft.
*REASON 3: I love Linix!!
Now you want to come in and do this:
TROLL REPLY:
*REASON 4: ???
*REASON 5: PROFIT!
Note what I did there: I emulated the exact style of his numbered list, and then added to it in order to cleverly troll him. THAT is the key. If he numbers his list using bold, use bold. If your target uses all caps, use all caps. If he uses Roman Numerals, use Roman Numerals (hint: I II III IV V VI VII VII IX X, then everything repeats from there), etc. Make YOUR list seem like an naturally-flowing conclusion to your TARGET's list. Then give him HELL! Here's the general key:
TARGET POST:
...
1. Blah!
2. Blah!
3. Blah!
X. Blah!
TROLL REPLY
X+1. ???
X+2. PROFIT!
I know it gets complicated when you throw in the algebra, but you should be able to do it. Keep track of the numbers on a piece of paper if you have to. It's vary difficult, but once you try it out, you'll get the hang of it. It's an aquired skill that can only be improved through hard work and practice. So get out there and troll!
Here's a summary:
STEP 1 : Pick your target (active, contains numbered list)
STEP 2 : Gather information (style of the numbered list)
STEP 3 : Nail the target by adding on to his own list!
STEP 4 : ???
STEP 5 : PROFIT!
See, I even did it to my own damn list! That's how easy it is once you become a master at this discipline of trolling! Good luck, young Jedi!!! Go out and troll the world, you motherfucking cuntrag bitches!!
Sug min kugar
*** Sulla is now known as bc_dvd :) ;)1 115/168/2oxdj.html ... .. :\ :( :( :\ :-)e d_par.html :\ :\ :\ ... a little thick at timesi ctures/xxxpics/i ctures/xxxpics/4ladies/0208.jpgi ctures/xxxpics/BonkSeries/bonk054.jpgi ctures/xxxpics/BonkSeries/bonk070.jpg :( :( :\ :( ... ... do you like that format or this one: http://violate.me.uk/blog/ :( :(0 3653/05
[bc_dvd] bye
[momocrome] hi
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[county] Hi and bye to all of you, as appropriate.
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[county] cyndrekit, hello.
[cyndrekit] hello county
[cyndrekit] did bc actually get a dvd?
[cyndrekit] I am shocked.
[cyndrekit]
[county] I wonder what it is.
[me0w] Hello
[county] Greetings, me0w.
[me0w] Good day
[cyndrekit] hi hi
[em] http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/02
[cyndrekit] is there a story to go with it?
[em] yes
[cyndrekit] oh cool, found it
[em] the photo is just too cool.
* momocrome moans
[momocrome] too much drunk for one night
[county] It's not night!
[me0w] Soon it will be.
[momocrome] oh last night's what I mean
[county] You didn't seem that drunk.
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[wsl3] Has anyone in here actually had a child?
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[wsl3] Has anyone in here actually had a child?
[me0w] I have a cat
[me0w] She's kind of like a child.
[bc] hello!
[me0w] hi!
[bc] damn, missed cyn
[bc] that film was great
[county] What was it?
[bc] it was "Contact", county
[bc] I liked the way it explored revelatory experiences
[county] Have I mentioned that I've nursed an infatuation for Jodie Foster?
[bc] and scepticism as opposed to faith
[bc] you know what? I was just thinking about that
[county] About what?
[bc] I never really used to like her, because she seems quite sharp nosed and hard faced, in that way
[bc] but now, well, now I see. She seemed so vulnerable in that film
[county] I like well-defined faces.
[county] I can see why her's might be too sharp for you, though.
[bc] and you just wanted to protect her against the world
[momocrome] i hate kitten, but I am hung over and foggy headed
[bc] it is quite sharp, but I see beyond that now
[county] I like faces with character, not just formless fleshy masses, that so many other girls seem to have.
[county] Don't hate kitten, momocrome.
[county] There's no point.
[county] I just don't understand how he thinks he's different than the people he's always railing on.
[county] It's really funny, actually.
[bc] hehe
[bc] it's true, county
[bc] he constantly moans about people being "arrogant", or "narrow minded"
[county] I try to point it out now and then, but he just doesn't see it.
[bc] and you think "whaaa?"
[county] I think stouts are my favorite.
[bc] kitten is the most narrow minded & arrogant chap on the internet
[me0w] I am going out drinking tonight.
[county] One of my bus infatuations, the one who was being picked on, has a somewhat sharp face.
[county] Actually, I love her face.
[bc] I hope you have a voice of reason, me0w
[county] It's pretty, but not beautiful, by normal standards.
[county] But it just looks so carefully crafted, somehow.
[bc] is the sharp faced bus infatuation the same girl as the one with the limp?
[county] It looks like someone wanted her face to look just like that, and they invested endless time in carefully crafting it.
[county] You know what I mean?
[me0w] bc: I do, although this voice of reason is a little suspect
[county] (No, the limping girl is someone else, and she doesn't generally limp.)
[bc] why me0w, is this voice of reason American or something? I know you hate Americans. An American Voice of Reason would probably advice you to lick the most repugnant people in the room, as retaliation.
[bc] county: yes, I do know
[bc] interesting faces are nice
[county] When I see her, I want to hold her face in my hands and kiss it.
[county] But that's not a polite thing to do on a bus.
[county] You're wrong about us American's, bc. An American voice of reason wouldn't feel any ill will toward me0w, despite her hatred.
[bc] get to know her first, and do it later. Have her melt
[county] It would just feel sadness and hurt.
[county] "Americans"
[Sylvain] hey bc
[bc] county, my impression of Americans is that they are friendly and kind, and idealistic, but that if you cross them they take a just vengeance
[bc] hey em
[county] Cross us, yes. Simply hating us but doing nothing about it is not crossing us.
[bc] that seems fair enough
[bc] though who knows, me0w yank-hatred is such that it wouldn't surprise me to find she has crossed the line
[me0w] bc: this voice of reason has been my friend since HS, and on several occasions, while I was not quite in the right fram of mind, he got me to do silly things.
[county] It's mean and hurtful, yes, but that's not enough. We Americans only retaliate when actual harm is done.
[me0w] I do not have individual-yank hatred.
[county] I hope she hasn't crossed the line. America's wrath is great toward those who hurt her.
[bc] he sounds like a splendid chap, me0w. He should tell you to lick a lovely, yooung 16yo with lots of acne
[me0w] bc: He would tell me to go and make out with girls.
[bc] what?? That's only because he gets off on it himself, the weirdo perv
[county] Lesbian sex must be the least arousing thing in existence.
[bc] agreed, county, but I understand many chaps find it appealing
[county] But oh, man.
[county] This is nice.
[bc] generally ones with supressed homosexual urges themselves, I understand
[county] I have that warm, content feeling that comes with a few boozes and just finishing a delicious salami and pepper jack sandwich.
[bc] I want to have faith in something
[bc] I don't know what, but it seems to make people happy
[bc] so it must be worth a shot
[me0w] He likes to make me do these things and take pictures
[bc] he's sounding more&more sick
[county] What sort of things?
[me0w] He teases my SO with the pictures.
[county] I'm only asking so we can get a good idea of how sick he is.
[bc] "teases"? If I had a gf who french kissed girls in strange clubs, and a friend who took pictures of this and then showed them to me, I'd be jolly well angry, and likely explode in anger and start shouting at people
[bc] It takes all sorts, eh county
[county] I wouldn't want a girl that french kisses other girls.
[Sylvain] is it just me, or has this channel become too serious?
[county] This channel is a joke, Sylvain.
[bc] Sylvain, it's great. Since the regulars left, the channel has become more&more&more fun
[county] I like this channel. It's a lot of bullshit, a lot of heartfelt confession, and a lot of fighting.
[county] I can't think how it could be improved.
[bc] that's pretty much why I like it. What makes it tolerable is that a lot of the time, you can't really tell which is which
[county] For example, I quite like my online relationship with luisa.
[bc] serious? or bullshit? serious fight? bullshit fight? confession or or bullshit? fight? mixing it up to cause a fight? Who can tell.
[county] It's all fighting mixed with lies and truths.
[bc] I hope ubu has extensive logs of #kuro5hin
[bc] actually, do you, county?
[bc] going back a year or so?
[county] Well, I log whenever I'm in there.
[bc] I wish to find something
[county] I should point out that I've only been online for a month or so.
[bc] yes, but I understand you are friendly with someone who was here before, it was just on the offchance he gave you his logs
[county] Well, I have #k5 logs going back over a year, yes.
[bc] what size are they when zipped up would you guess?
[bc] nothing vast, right? not 50mb or something absurd?
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[bc] hello dmg
[dmg] whassup bc
[Sylvain] hey dmg
[bc] not much
[dmg] hey sylvain
[bc] I just watched "contact" dmg, which has led me to believe I need faith in my life.
[county] I have a bit over 100mb of #k5 logs, bc.
[bc] em probably hates that film, for its inclusion of arecibo and the airbrushing out of native 'Ricans, only mentioned in passing for their superstitious beliefs about the telescope
[bc] crap, that's loads county
[bc] bugger it
[dmg] contact ? Is that with whatshername from silence of th e lambs
[Sylvain] superstitious beliefs indeed
[bc] yes dmg
[dmg] I dont like her voice
[Sylvain] the visiting scientists don't leave ALL that much money as they think
[county] Silence, dmg.
[county] She is my infatuation of the moment.
[bc] yes. She was mine first though
[bc] I spent the film marvelling at her vulnerability
[county] I liked her before you watched the film, bastard!
[dmg] you would like "the accused" then...
[dmg] she is more vulnerable in that.
[dmg] I just cannot stand her voice
[bc] She only came to my notice during the film, really. She fits the archetype that I like in women, so it can be said that I have always liked her, as long as I have been alive.
[dmg] eurrgh
[county] Her voice, or her accent?
[dmg] her voive
[dmg] voice
[dmg] it just annoysh me
[county] I never found it annoying.
[county] hmm.
[dmg] itsh sho annoying
[bc] I like it. It seems to have a nice burr
[me0w] My SO's drunken sister keeps messaging me. =/
[bc] she's like a female sean connery
[dmg] bc: exactly
[dmg] she shertainly ish
[bc] me0w, give her my aim and tell her to msg me
[county] Have her msg me.
[bc] I think I'd enjoy talking to a drunken woman!
[me0w] bc: She is on Y!
[dmg] get her on #adequacy
[county] I want a drunk girl to torment.
[county] ARGH
[bc] that's okay, I'm on yahoo too me0w
[me0w] I don't think she knows how to irc.
[county] I WANT A DRUNK GIRL TO TORMENT SO MUCH
[me0w] She does use that horrible habbo hotel junk
[county] Huh?
[bc] trillian just connected me to aim, yahoo, msn and icq. Now tell her to msg me! My ID on yahoo is tinyp3a. DO IT.
[bc] I WANT TO TORMENT COUNTY SO MUCH
[county] ]:(
[me0w] Be nice
[county] I am a fragile angel.
[me0w] she is my future sister-in-law
[bc] I'm always nice
[dmg] trillian can connect to msn ?
[dmg] wow!
[dmg] I never realised that.
[county] bc steals every woman I want.
[county] Every one
[me0w] bc, I gave her your id
[bc] wow!
[bc] she really is drunk
[Sylvain] paste example
[dmg] bc is from www.girlfriendstealers.com
[county] dmg, he did steal my girlfriend.
[county] Actually.
[dmg] http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/
[bc] [censored]: helloo?1
[bc] tinyp3a: hello!
[bc] [censored]: howw s u?
[county] I can't believe I forgave him for that.
[me0w] bc, please keep in mind that she is only 17
[dmg] women come and go.
[county] dmg, I loved her!
[county] And bc stole her
[dmg] those are the breaks.
[dmg] bc is irresistible to women.
[dmg] he is like Sam Sloan in that respect
* Sylvain looks at a list of ebay sections, notices "charity"
[county] Yeah. And when I cut his hands and feet of, burn his face off with acide, and leave him to die, those will be the breaks, eh?
[dmg] well yes.
[county] "acid"
[dmg] bc takes full responsibility for his actions.
[bc] [censored]: LoL AWW U SHOULDA!!
[dmg] he is an anarcho-capitalist libertarian
* bc ROFL
[dmg] who was this woman anyway ?
[dmg] she cannot have been in love with you if she let bc steal her away
[county] me0w's SO's sister.
[bc] county, I asked to speak to her first
[bc] so I didn't steal her at all
[bc] she is verrry drunk
[county] I thought of it first, bc, but my intoxication is slowing down my typing.
[Sylvain] bc: i don't think that will appease county's perception of entitledness.
[county] Ask her for naked pictures of Jin Wicked, bc.
[dmg] I have some of those
[county] Yeah? Lucky you.
[dmg] she keeps crapflooding my mailbox with them
[dmg] attention-seeker.
[county] She's a pain, in that respect.
[county] And every other respect.
[dmg] its like,
[county] With no respect.
[dmg] stop spamming me with nude photos.
[dmg] If I wanted to see that sort of thing I would get a girlfriend.
[county] I want to see it, and I can't get a girlfriend.
[county] You're attractive, confident, and wordly.
[Sylvain] dmg: you'd get a girlfriend to see nude *photos*?
[county] I'm a geeky pud.
[dmg] no if I wanted to see nude women
[dmg] Id get a girlfriend
[county] Or you'd just sleep around. Slut.
[dmg] aha the old double standard
[county] Not all nude women were created equal, though.
[dmg] we are all equal in the eyes of Allah (SWT) apart from the Infidels
*** dmg is now known as Abu_Nidal
[county] There's only one girl I want to see naked, actually.
[bc] damn
[bc] she's too drunk to realise that when I say I'm living under a glacier, I'm joking
* me0w giggles
*** Abu_Nidal is now known as dmg
[dmg] Scotland is an icy barren wasteland though, bc
[me0w] time for showering
[dmg] she could be forgiven
[Sylvain] bc maybe that's not drunkenness.
[bc] also, she speaks like a black Londoner with hyper estuary english
[Sylvain] it's perhaps stupidity augmented by adolescence and drunkenness.
[dmg] hold on one moment. if she is 17 and drunk, is she not guilty of an offence ????
[Sylvain] nope.
[dmg] Should not we be reporting her to the authorities
[dmg] ???
[dmg] or the person who supplied the alcohol
[bc] LOL
[Sylvain] somebody else is
[dmg] In the UK the alcohol age is 5
[dmg] for consumption in the home
[county] You must be kidding.
[dmg] how enlightened compared to our other stupid laws.
[dmg] no, its 5
[dmg] seriously
[county] Why have an age at all?
[dmg] Ill find a web page if I can to PROVE it
[county] Yeah, because web pages are always right!
[bc] she's away now
[bc] [censored]: BywebYE!!
[bc] which is sort of a relief
[bc] hehe
[county] I bet you got lots of fantastic drunken cybersex ]:(
[bc] don't be revolting county
[bc] I am a people person
[dmg] http://www.icap.org/pdf/report4updated.pdf
[bc] people interest me, and I like to find out all about them
[bc] there is no other motivation
[county] I'm not going to try to read through a pdf in this condition.
[dmg] one moment
[dmg] fucking cut-n-paste doesn't work
[county] I think I'd like another salami sandwish
[dmg] In bars and off-licensed premises the MDA and MPA are 18. The MPA for
[dmg] beer and cider is 16 when purchased for consumption with meals
[dmg] (except when in a bar). Children over five may consume alcoholic
[dmg] beverages at home with their parent's consent.
[bc] pdf sucks
[dmg] basically if you have cool parents you can get pissed once you start infant school
[dmg] but if you are over 18 and want to drink after 11pm, you are shit out of luck
[dmg] its a contradiction to be sure...
[Sylvain] there are some exceptions to alcohol laws here in USia IIRC
[Sylvain] e.g. it's allowed to give a child some wine if required by a religious ritual
[dmg] * In 19 states alcohol consumption by youth under 21 is not specifically
[dmg] illegal.
[dmg] ** Exceptions to the 21 law in some states include possession for
[dmg] religious purposes when accompanied by a parent, spouse or legal
[dmg] guardian; medical reasons; in private clubs or establishments; in the
[dmg] course of lawful employment by a duly licensed manufac
[Sylvain] e.g. catholic communion frequently involves a bit of wine.
[bc] I remember when I first got drunk
[bc] I thought "I want to spend the rest of my days in this condition"
[bc] it was a revelation
[bc] I think I have found my faith already
[dmg] I was about four when I first got drunk. on Babycham believe it or not. My mum did not realise it was alcoholic
*** Sylvain changes topic to '[ bc] I remember when I first got drunk || [ bc] I thought "I want to spend the rest of my days in this condition"'
[bc] I had a good swig of scotdch when I was 6 months old and got drunk
[bc] that was quite impressive. I saw the glass of double scotch, grasped it in two hands, and swigged it right down
[bc] well, I can't in truth remember if it got be drunk, or anything about it at all, but I'm sure it must've
[dmg] thats pretty funny
[dmg] you could have died however.
[Sylvain] he wouldn't have understood it.
[bc] nah, I took it like a baby
[Sylvain] no trauma for him
[Sylvain] what's the problem with dying when you're a perfectly innocent being?
[Sylvain] it's only when we grow old and come to appreciate that life is valuable that we have a problem with it
[county] I am a perfectly innocent being.
[dmg] what about original sin ?
[Sylvain] 16:31 [ county] I WANT A DRUNK GIRL TO TORMENT SO MUCH
[bc] you'll note he didn't actually do it, em
[bc] county has control of his desires
[county] I actually don't even think I wrote that.
* Sylvain sings: Nwel a rive pou nou pa pedi lespwa nou!
[county] The wind has really picked up here.
[county] It's almost violent.
[dmg] im going to bed
[dmg] its past my bedtime
* bc bought a bottle of Appleston Estate 40 year old today,Sylvain
[dmg] bloody IRC
[bc] night dmg!
[dmg] night night everyone
*** dmg has quit IRC (Quit: Trillian (http://www.ceruleanstudios.com))
[county] What's that, bc?
[Sylvain] bc: wow.
[bc] it's an excellent rum
[Sylvain] how much was it?
[bc] a bloody fortune
[Sylvain] fuck. the oldest rum i've ever had is 12 years.
[county] Ah, a rum.
[Sylvain] any words on how good it is beyond "excellent"?
[county] The oldest rum I've had was also 12 years.
[bc] it tastes nice. Older rums seem to become more whiskyish, somehow, it is hard to explain
[bc] much more complex
[county] Now you just need some forty year old coke.
[bc] it is aged in the tropics, too
[bc] apparantly that means it ages more rapidly
[bc] at about 3x the rate of a spirit aged in, say, canada
[bc] anyway, I don't know. It tastes very nutty, somehow
[Sylvain] but how expensive was it?
[bc] em: £10,000
[bc] http://www.canoe.ca/LifewiseFoodWine01/0314_winew
[Sylvain] yeah, right, like you have 15,795.99 USD
[bc]
[bc] it's really nice with coke though!
*** Sylvain sets mode: +b *!*gallus@*.orangutan.dialup.pol.co.uk
*** bc was kicked by Sylvain (Trolling is strictly forbidden in this channel.)
*** Sylvain sets mode: -b *!*gallus@*.orangutan.dialup.pol.co.uk
*** bc (gallus@modem-1926.orangutan.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o bc
[bc]
[bc] wouldn't that be lovely though?
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*** ChanServ sets mode: +o iat
[bc] I'd be scared to drink it
[bc] hey iat!
[iat] hey bc
[iat] whassup bc?
[bc] not much
[bc] how's the online dating scene going? =)
[iat] i finally got rid of my woman. she came to get rid of her shit from my flat this evening. i'm getting pissed and then tomorrow im gonna get on with my life
* county sighs
[bc] dmg was telling me about it, er, your troubles with her
* county weeps
[iat] dmg said you're coming to london next month
[iat] heh, someone gave her rohypnol last night!
[county] That's horrible.
[iat] i don't know who would be fucked up enough to waste good rohypnol on her
[bc] did he? He's wrong. I was going to, but something disastrous happened. I may come in January, but not december, that's been off for ages due to commitments
[iat] bah, we all want to meet you
[iat] what did dmg say about me/it/her?
[bc] hehe. I'll come down sooner or later
[bc] he was talking about how you met her on match.com (!)
[bc] which reminds me, I have to search march.com insanely to find her
[iat] yeah, it's either that or start fucking my secretary. i saw it as the lesser of two evils
[me0w] bc, And how was she?
[bc] there really can't be that many overweight, red headed, goth girls from london on mach.com
[iat] you'd be surprised
[county] No more than twenty or so, I'd guess.
[bc] me0w: very drunk. Spoke in estuary english. Seemed good natured though, through the disgraceful mists of her underage drinking
[iat] btw, you forgot moustachiod
[iat] otoh, there are no biologists with pds living in edinburgh on match
[bc]
[county] Why on earth did you even have anything to do with her, iat?
[bc] I found one I liked on match.com
[me0w] bc, She is a nice girl
[iat] county: i wanted to get my redhead fetish out of the way
[bc] but I'm not showing her to you iat, you'd steal her
[iat] i wasn;t sure if the "ginger pubes" thing was a liberal myth
[me0w] bc, I think there is a picture of her in my gallery
[iat] of course i'd steal her, i'm a stud
[bc] heh me0w. She seemed nice. Drunk for sure, drunk as a Lord, it was terrifically amusing
[me0w] bc, Unfortunately her typing doesn't get much better
[iat] bc: where's your bondage pr0n collection stored on aq?
[county] A stud? You seem like a poorer middle class fellow, somewhat on the ugly side.
[iat] upper middle class, only slightly ugly thank you
[iat] but, i am hung like a mouse
[iat] emr, moose
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-2093.python.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
[Sulla] me0w, are you trying to say that she mayn't have been drunk at all, or was only tipsy, and that she isn't really too different when sober?
[Sulla] iat: I forget. I never look at it, and it isn't "my collection"
[me0w] bc, She was drunk.
[iat] whose collection is it then?
[me0w] bc, But when she is sober I often have a dificult time understanding what she is saying.
[Sulla] it is me0ws and I put it there cos perdida wanted it for some story relating to 80's bdsm pornography for her site
[me0w] bc, she likes to type in some sort of sms speak
[Sulla] hehe
[Sulla] that would explain whey she says "da" for "the"
[me0w] bc, ahaha you still have those pictures?
[iat] who is me0w anyway? there's all these new faces since i last frewuented #aq?
[Sulla] me0w yes, and embrassingly, someone posted the link into my diary and made all sorts of insinuations
[Sulla] mind you, since I've claimed to be a rapist on k5 before it isn't like I can sink much lower
*** bc has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
[iat] anyway bc, you never told me where you keep it
[me0w] bc, and they weren't even good pictures
[Sulla] iat, me0w is this bird wot came here from #k5 who is quite nice and stuff, though canadian (french)
[county] Does me0w speak french?
[Sulla] iat, I'll look out the url
[iat] i work with a REAL french canadian, her mother's french and her father's canadian. she's never been near "french candian" territory
[county] Sulla, so you really do have a bondage porn collection?
[county] I thought that was myth.
[Sulla] http://www.adequacy.org/images/bc/violate.me.uk/p
[Sulla] it's not my fucking collection!
[Sulla] jesus H christ
[me0w] bc, you know, I've never actually looked at all of them
[county] Yeah, whatever.
[iat] it appears to be quite a copmorehensive collection bc
[Sulla] there are perfectly legitimate reasons the pics are there
[county] So you find this appealing, bc? http://www.adequacy.org/images/bc/violate.me.uk/p
[Sulla] me0w, neither have I
[Sulla] I just looked at some funny 80's ones
[me0w] bc, I looked at the ones that perdida pointed out
[Sulla] http://www.adequacy.org/images/bc/violate.me.uk/p
[Sulla] I'm sorry, that makes me laugh and laugh
[county] These are amusing and sexy at the same time. I love it!
[Sulla] anyway, when I can be bothered, I'll delete the whole lot
[me0w] bc, was there a series of hunchback pictures?
[Sulla] yes me0w
[Sulla] the "bonk" series
[Sulla] http://www.adequacy.org/images/bc/violate.me.uk/p
[Sulla] that's also pretty damned hilarious
[county] I'll give you $728 for all these pictures, Sulla.
[Sulla] some of them are funny, but all the rest are just crude and nasty
[Sulla] county, it's a deal!
*** Sulla is now known as bc
[county] Fantastic!
[bc] I love the leer on the guy's face
[bc] so cheesy
[me0w] county, I could just mail you the cd they came from
[bc] that's a nice offer, eh county? You should accept
[county] The truth is, I like nothing more than pictures of bound and tormented women.
[county] However, I prefer not to post my mailing address in the channel.
[bc] then msg it to me0w
[county] Msg? I don't know what you mean by that.
[bc] liar
[county] Oh, that hurts
[bc] iat has gone quite quiet since I posted the link, eh?
[bc] I wonder what he is doing?
[iat] heh
[me0w] Wanking?
[iat] smoking and drinking
[county] I'm wanking.
[county] How could I not?
[county] All these photographs of naked women tied up!
[county] It's paradise, from my perspective.
[iat] i love smoking
[iat] i just wish it didn't cost so much
[bc] I thought you were a health freak?
[iat] not these days
[bc] good move
[bc] welcome to the "cool set"
[iat] the pressures of work have turned me into a nicotine-fuelled anorexic
[county] I have never, ever smoked.
[county] I probably should.
[bc] you'd like it
[iat] i have never, ever smoked crack
[bc] everybody with an addictive personality should have many addictions
[county] I don't have an addictive personality.
[bc] You do. Oh god you do.
[bc] You are always looking for a hit
[county] Explain!
[county] I'm addicted to little.
[county] Just alcohol and that girl from work's ass.
[bc] you don't just talk to people. You have angles, you attack and duck and weave, you seek the high of torture and humiliation of others in everything you say
[county] No
[county] Not others, women.
[county] I only want to hurt females.
[county] Please keep that straight.
[bc] You do it to vlad often enough, phoneboy
[me0w] I dunno what to wear
[county] Oh, that's different.
[iat] bc: will you stop saying "humiliation"? the "iat" bit interrupts my mp3s by making acidmax make sounds
[bc] hehe, okay iat, I didn't realise I said humiliation so often
[county] My motivation for tormenting vlad is entriely different than my motivation for tormenting, say, luisa.
[bc] me0w, wear leather and stuff
[bc] I don't know
[county] me0w, dress chastly.
[county] It's incredibly sexy.
[bc] me0w, wear a denim skirt with a sort of white lacery around the pockets that looks lovely and homely, and a black t-shirt above that is slinky and just has strap things over the shoulders so it is more of a dress, really.
[bc] let your hair hang down forward over your bosom, to each side, following the contours perfectly
[me0w] bc, I don't own any denim skirts
[me0w] and I only have a leather corset
[bc] hmmmn
[county] I told you, me0w.
[iat] bc: what happened to your general knwoledge bot?
[county] Dress chastly.
[county] It will draw guys like you can't believe.
[bc] wear a turqoise top, that is very close fitting and very slightly see-through, revealing a white bra underneath on the edge of awareness, and making men think you are less calculating and more genuine than those other dolled up girls. Underneath, wear black trousers that are practical looking though ladylike, covered in pockets
*** iat sets mode: +o bc
[bc] iat: It's on my hard drive. I got bored with it and moved onto other things
[county] The white bra is a good idea.
[iat] what are you coding now, j00 1337 hax0r j00?
[me0w] bc, I don't own a turqoise top
[county] When I see a white bra, my instinct is to assume it was displayed on accident, becuause my tendancy is to feel white-bra-clad people are pure and innocent.
[me0w] and I don't know if I have a white bra
[county] ]:(
[me0w] wait wait
[me0w] I found a white bra
[bc] I'm writing a new peer2peer filesharing system that will specialise in text, pdf and html documents that the man would like to keep down. it will allow you to search for strings inside the text body, and return results, google like, that show the context
[bc] zool me0w!
[county] she had a blue bra, it was lovely. I hate it now, though I loved it then!
[bc] okay, do you have any slightly see-through tops at all?
[county] Oh god, she looked lovely in it.
[bc] what we are going for here is the thrown-on, unsophisticated but lovely look
[me0w] I have a whole collection of see through wear
[me0w] but I don't think it would be appropriate for the places I'm going this evening
[county] "see-through" should be hyphenated.
[iat] bc "the man" doensn't care about text files
[bc] bugger appropriate. Look like a lost fawn in the wilderness
[bc] he does, iat, more than any other media
[iat] approprIATe interrupts my mp3s. plz stop tnx
[me0w] these pants require a thong
[bc] my filesharing network will have terrorist plans, blueprints, and government leaks and such
[bc] and books
[iat] no-one will use it for anything other than war3zing books
[bc] I will provide that service. It's more than a filesharing network, I intend it to be a peer-2-peer knowledge base sort of deal
[bc] you can do context searches and it will return a few paeges or a chapter from a book say
[bc] and it will allow a wikipedia type self editing bit
[iat] how long have you been programming?
[bc] but everything will be peer-2-peer, the whole encyclopaedia
[iat] aargh, not wikipedia!
[bc] not like that, but that's the model. Imagine a wikipaedia not located on any machine, but spread across a peer-2-peer netowrk. it could hold the Truth, regardless of what government or corporate law tries
[bc] it's a powerful concept for political and informational insurgency
[iat] there is no TRUTH
[bc] you state that like it is a truth
[bc] well, it's not!
[iat] of course
[iat] there is not truth... even to say that is not true... but to say its not true is also not true
[bc] it won't hold any particular truth, many truths and narratives
[bc] it shall be thoroughly decentralised and beyond the control of anyone, that is the point
[county] Quite right, bc. There are many truths, in this modern age.
[bc] must smoke
[iat] why not smoke then?
[bc] I'm ahead of you, iat
[iat] i've smoked 19 since 7:30 and have just 1 left
[bc] wow that's lots
[county] are there just 20 in a pack/:?
[iat] yeah, how many did you think there were?
[bc] yes, unless you get Rothman's Royals
[iat] oh yeah
[bc] which have 24, for some reason
[county] iat, I've never smoked.
[iat] or 10 packs, but you can't get those in usia
[bc] just think iat, if you had got Royals, you'd have 5 left now
[iat] heh
[me0w] I have a favour to ask
[iat] but they wouldn't taste half as nice as mmy marlboro lights
[bc] what's that me0w?
[bc] yuk
[me0w] bc, I need an opinion
[bc] I don't like Marlboro lights. I'm a Dunhill man
[me0w] bc, you know what my site currently looks like right?
[bc] yes
[bc] yes I do
[iat] dunhill?
[me0w] bc, ok
[bc] I browse it every 20 minutes
[iat] dunhill are for poor people, eight?
[iat] erm, right even
[bc] they are not for poor people
[bc] just the opposite
[iat] heh
[iat] my marlboro light costs me 4.70 a pack
[iat] beat that
[bc] this one has a more traditional bloggy feel me0w, but won't it mean the front page won't change as radically so often? I suppose I like it better in that you can see the previous articles, but less in that the front page doesn't periodically change radically, so that you don't know what will appear. It's prolly more sensible though
[bc] also, the right hand side seems wider somehow
[bc] mine cost £4.95
[bc] suck it!
[bc] and that's without inflated london prices
[iat] bah
[bc] it must be the pics making the right wider
[iat] that's stupid
[me0w] bc, the pics do make it wider
[iat] are dunhills those ones that have the wide packets that don't fit in your pocket?
[me0w] bc, this new system is a modifed blogger
[bc] those are dunhill internationals, iat, which I often get too, and are about £5.40
[iat] i know a gay guy who smokes the methol ones of those
[iat] draw your own conclusions
[bc] I see. Well, me0w, it makes the site less characterful and "homebrew", but probably more sensible and easier to navigate
[bc] depends what you want I suppose
[bc] iat, menthols of any stripe are for the less manly
[iat] heh. yeah
[bc] same as marlboro lights
[bc] female student's smoke, that
[iat] bah
[iat] marlboro lights are for those people who smoke but dont want to admit it to themselves
* momocrome has a crush on Siân Phillips
[iat] which does cover many female students i guess
[bc] you should have a commenting system me0w
[bc] what an ego-site then!
[bc] who, momocrome?
[bc] she sounds suspiciously welsh
[bc] I hope you haven't started liking welsh people
[momocrome] welch
[bc] I might have known it
[bc] poor momocrome
[iat] "mr blue sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long!"
[bc] ??
[iat] i'm singing
[bc] I thought it was some sort of prayer
[iat] no, it's ELO
[bc] oh
[bc] Electric Light Orchestra?
[iat] bah, i'm in danger of losing my lightweightedness
[iat] i've had 8 bottles of stella and am not feeling tired
[iat] yeah, electric light orchestra
[iat] i've always wondered how the words fit togeth in that phrase
[bc] you should try yourself spirits now that beer doesn't provide the kick it once did
[iat] is it: electric... light orchestra, or electric light.... orchestra?
[bc] look at county, he was drinking spirits insanely, now he is probably unconscious
[iat] i don't like spirits, they give me a hangover
[bc] try a clean ethanol-only spirit then
[bc] like vodka
*** Lumpen (~guest@cloaked.sea1.dsl.speakeasy.net) has joined #adequacy
[iat] an "ethanol only" spirit is surely pure ethanol
[bc] I mean, a spirit without any methanol
[bc] methanol is bad for hangovers
[bc] wine has loads of it
[iat] do they normally put methanol in spirits?
[bc] especially red wine
[bc] and the murkier spirits
[bc] iat, methanol is a natual alcohol of the fermentation process
[bc] there's usually much less of it than ethanol, but most drinks have it to varying amounts
[iat] is it? methanol is just a shorter carbon chain right?
[iat] can you get pissed off methanol?
[bc] I think so. Maybe longer, damned if I know
[bc] yes you can
[bc] it's an alcohol
[bc] but it gives you a much worse hangover
[momocrome] you'll go blind instantly when you get drunk off methanol
[iat] methanol is CH2OH from memory
[bc] which is why booze that has more of it gives you a worse hangover
[iat] ethanl is CH3CH20H
[bc] but generally they have little, but still enough for headaches
[bc] wine for example, I think only 5% of the alcohol in it is methanol
[bc] I forget, but a small amount
[iat] i'm fine off white wine, but red wine gives me shokcing headaches the morning after, as does guiness
[iat] oh dear, craig's gone mad again
[bc] red wine is the worst
[bc] iat: where?
[iat] 20721
[bc] I must look
[bc] I sort of provoked him
[iat] was it you stirring shit bc?
[momocrome] i have done my part as well
[iat] shame on you, vlad must be eliminated
[bc] I did a post attacking craig, yes
[bc] saying he should fantasise about he petrified virgin mary
[bc] and iat, goddamnit, phoning up vlad and stuff is totally over the line
[bc] and he's an insane fucker!
[iat] heh, what about garden gnomes?
[bc] no not me
[momocrome] it is actually illegal behaviour
[momocrome] but more than that, it is supid
[momocrome] suuupid
[momocrome] stupid
[bc] damned right
[bc] and not only that, the fucker posted all our names to the sid
[momocrome] this isn't trolling, it is thug-like cruelty
[bc] fuck him!
[iat] informal #adequacy poll. should iat have another drink?
[bc] yes momocrome
[bc] and yes iat
[iat] 1) no, he should sleep
[momocrome] yes, iat
[momocrome] 2) yes, iat
[iat] 2) no, he has no more fags, and booze with no fage makes iat sad
*** Lumpen is now known as FcmfAC
[iat] 2) yes, he still has too much booze to fit it into his cupboards
[iat] 4) yes, he's still not pissed
[iat] 5) yes, why not:?
[momocrome] pop up to the corner chop and procure a acket of fags
[iat] which one?
[iat] corner shop is not only closed. but it's on the common council estate
[momocrome] do you have a crowbar?
[FcmfAC] Ah, well.
[iat] if i had some rizlas, i could smoke my fag butts again
[FcmfAC] It's going to go down in flames.
[iat] more booze it is then
[FcmfAC] http://www.kuro5hin.org/displaystory/2002/11/16/2
[iat] bc, can you dcc me some fags?
*** bc sets mode: +b *!*tarque@*.telesp.net.br
Session Close: Sat Nov 16 20:16:23 2002
Session Start: Sun Nov 17 23:05:59 2002
*** Now talking in #adequacy
*** Topic is ' I remember when I first got drunk || I thought "I want to spend the rest of my days in this condition"'
*** Set by Sylvain on Sat Nov 16 18:51:55
shhhh
*** ChanServ sets mode: +b ws13!*@*
Session Close: Sun Nov 17 23:06:59 2002
From: cptroll
) and pioneer an entirely PICTOGRAPHIC version (http://ilovebacon.bla-bla.com/noway/112100c.shtml ).
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] why the internet rules
Date sent: Mon, 4 Dec 2000 17:29:43 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0037)
Did you get that from ilovebacon.com? Because if you did, then I'm disappointed you didn't note how those industrious Germans are at it again. Who else could pick up on the failure of dogs to read their 'no pooping' signs (http://ilovebacon.bla-bla.com/noway/110300.shtml
Without such innovation at home, it's little wonder Amerika is scraping
the bottom of the corporate barrel abroad.
jlb <jlb@io.com> wrote:
>http://www.d111.k12.id.us/BHS/BHS.htm
(This is CP0037)
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Let's try this one again: gbd et al
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 19:10:38 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0031)
If he's not a real person (craig?), then he's doing a good job of hiding it. If I had a geographical breakdown of known USian trolls, then I could assure myself that it wasn't one of them and therefore someone unique.
On the topic of vladinator:
"as far as VLADINATOR is concerned there is a story behind that, but i am still in the process of putting all the details together but the story will be told. i dont REALLY think that he is a communist i just like to say that because it bugs him. but there is a REASON for the fued and i'll be revealing it."
Which just sounds like he's dicking around with vlad. But in the other emails, the tone changes to "and do not listen to vladinator, there is no telling what he might do." and "but DO NOT listen to vladinator!! the man is pure evil"
When I myself (with gbd's permission) dicked around with Vlad for trying to steal gbd's account by successfully impersonating gbd to Vlad (just to confuse Vlad, mostly), gbd replied:
"actually this is going to sound SILLY but could you let vladinator know that you're just joking and are not really me (george), i plan on explaining things better here in the NEAR FUTURE but that will only work with things as HONEST as POSSIBLE."
which sounds like it'll be fun.
On the subject of "the trolls", gbd said:
"anyway please don't give this mail address out to the trolls, like i said earlier i DON'T want them flooding me with spam and stuff which is why i am trying to do this as PRIVATE as i possibly can"
which as I've said, I'm respecting.
If anyone has any questions for him, I could probably put them to him.
rev <hanales@hotmail.com> wrote:
>So are you saying that gbd is a real person?
>You must share some of his insights (without revealing his address of
>course)
(This is CP0031)
MAUREEN: I think we need an agent!
MARK: We?
JOANNE: That's selling out.
MARK: But it's nice to dream.
MAUREEN: It's network TV, and it's all thanks to me.
MARK: Somehow I think I smell the whiff of a scheme.
JOANNE: Me too!
MAUREEN: We can plan another protest.
JOANNE: We?!
MAUREEN: This time you can shoot from the start, you'll direct, starring me!
ALL: 5, 4, 3... Open sesame!! Happy new year, Happy new year Happy new...
BENNY: I see that you've beaten me to the punch.
ROGER: How did you know we'd be here?
BENNY: I had a hunch.
MARK: You're not mad?
BENNY: I'm here to end this war. It's a shame you went and destroyed the door
MIMI: Why all the sudden the big about face?
BENNY: The credit is yours; you made a good case.
ROGER: What case?
BENNY: Mimi came to see me and she had much to say.
MIMI: That's not how you put it at all yesterday!
BENNY: I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess. Mark -- you want to get this on film!
MARK: I guess.
BENNY: I regret the unlucky circumstances of the past seven days.
ROGER: Circumstance? You padlocked our door!
BENNY: And it's with great pleasure on behalf of CyberArts that I hand you this key.
ANGEL: Golf claps.
MARK: I have no juice in my battery!
BENNY: Reshoot!
ROGER: I see -- this is a photo opportunity!
MAUREEN: The benevolent god ushers the poor artists back to their flat. Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire from the lot, too?
ROGER: Anything but that!
BENNY: Clearing the lot was a safety concern; we break ground this month but you can return.
MAUREEN: That's why you're here with people you hate, instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate
BENNY: I'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport --
ROGER: Spare us old sport, the soundbite.
BENNY: Mimi -- since your ways are so seductive,
MIMI: You came on to me!
BENNY: Persuade him not to be so counterproductive.
ROGER: Liar!
BENNY: Why not tell them what you wore to my place?
MIMI: I was on my way to work!
BENNY: Black leather and lace! My desk was a mess; I think I'm still sore!
MIMI: Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore!
BENNY: Does your boyfriend know who your last boyfriend was?
ROGER: I'm not her boyfriend; I don't care what she does!
ANGEL: People! Is this any way to start a new year? Have compassion, Benny just lost his cat!
BENNY: My dog -- but I appreciate that.
ANGEL: My cat had a fall and I went through hell.
BENNY: It's like losing a -- how did you know that she fell?
COLLINS: Champagne?
BENNY: Don't mind if I do! To dogs!
ALL: No, Benny -- To you!
ANGEL: Let's make a resolution
MIMI: I'll drink to that.
COLLINS: Let's always stay friends.
JOANNE: Though we may have our disputes,
MAUREEN: This family tree's got deep roots;
MARK: Friendship is thicker than blood.
ROGER: That depends.
MIMI: Depends on trust,
ROGER: Depends on true devotion,
JOANNE: Depends on love,
MARK: Depends on not denying emotion!
ROGER: Perhaps...
ALL: It's gonna be a happy new year.
ROGER: I guess...
ALL: It's gonna be a happy new year.
ROGER: You're right!
ANGEL: It's gonna be a happy new year!
ROGER AND MIMI: I'm sorry.
ROGER: Coming?
MIMI: In a minute -- I'm fine -- go.
THE MAN: Well, well, well. What have we here? It's gonna be a happy new year...
MAUREEN: I think we need an agent!
MARK: We?
JOANNE: That's selling out.
MARK: But it's nice to dream.
MAUREEN: It's network TV, and it's all thanks to me.
MARK: Somehow I think I smell the whiff of a scheme.
JOANNE: Me too!
MAUREEN: We can plan another protest.
JOANNE: We?!
MAUREEN: This time you can shoot from the start, you'll direct, starring me!
ALL: 5, 4, 3... Open sesame!! Happy new year, Happy new year Happy new...
BENNY: I see that you've beaten me to the punch.
ROGER: How did you know we'd be here?
BENNY: I had a hunch.
MARK: You're not mad?
BENNY: I'm here to end this war. It's a shame you went and destroyed the door
MIMI: Why all the sudden the big about face?
BENNY: The credit is yours; you made a good case.
ROGER: What case?
BENNY: Mimi came to see me and she had much to say.
MIMI: That's not how you put it at all yesterday!
BENNY: I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess. Mark -- you want to get this on film!
MARK: I guess.
BENNY: I regret the unlucky circumstances of the past seven days.
ROGER: Circumstance? You padlocked our door!
BENNY: And it's with great pleasure on behalf of CyberArts that I hand you this key.
ANGEL: Golf claps.
MARK: I have no juice in my battery!
BENNY: Reshoot!
ROGER: I see -- this is a photo opportunity!
MAUREEN: The benevolent god ushers the poor artists back to their flat. Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire from the lot, too?
ROGER: Anything but that!
BENNY: Clearing the lot was a safety concern; we break ground this month but you can return.
MAUREEN: That's why you're here with people you hate, instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate
BENNY: I'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport --
ROGER: Spare us old sport, the soundbite.
BENNY: Mimi -- since your ways are so seductive,
MIMI: You came on to me!
BENNY: Persuade him not to be so counterproductive.
ROGER: Liar!
BENNY: Why not tell them what you wore to my place?
MIMI: I was on my way to work!
BENNY: Black leather and lace! My desk was a mess; I think I'm still sore!
MIMI: Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore!
BENNY: Does your boyfriend know who your last boyfriend was?
ROGER: I'm not her boyfriend; I don't care what she does!
ANGEL: People! Is this any way to start a new year? Have compassion, Benny just lost his cat!
BENNY: My dog -- but I appreciate that.
ANGEL: My cat had a fall and I went through hell.
BENNY: It's like losing a -- how did you know that she fell?
COLLINS: Champagne?
BENNY: Don't mind if I do! To dogs!
ALL: No, Benny -- To you!
ANGEL: Let's make a resolution
MIMI: I'll drink to that.
COLLINS: Let's always stay friends.
JOANNE: Though we may have our disputes,
MAUREEN: This family tree's got deep roots;
MARK: Friendship is thicker than blood.
ROGER: That depends.
MIMI: Depends on trust,
ROGER: Depends on true devotion,
JOANNE: Depends on love,
MARK: Depends on not denying emotion!
ROGER: Perhaps...
ALL: It's gonna be a happy new year.
ROGER: I guess...
ALL: It's gonna be a happy new year.
ROGER: You're right!
ANGEL: It's gonna be a happy new year!
ROGER AND MIMI: I'm sorry.
ROGER: Coming?
MIMI: In a minute -- I'm fine -- go.
THE MAN: Well, well, well. What have we here? It's gonna be a happy new year...
From: Ceee Peee
0 /12/20/01446/325).
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] Sorry about that, all
Date sent: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 00:51:12 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0006)
Demonstrating poor judgment on my part, I lobbed
another at the k5 queue
(http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=200
It's not half as big a troll as the last one, but,
well, I guess people are still angry about the last
one. Let's just say the only thing geeks defend more
than their porn is their smokes.
JSM, I'm disappointed you didn't show some guts and
just mod it down. Have I pissed enough in your
swimming pool yet? Heck, they're slandering you in
there, equating the two of us. Even rusty's annoyed,
and he has a sense of humor (though his reasoning
isn't so hot).
I think I'll leave k5 alone for a while. I'm leaving
town in two days and won't be back for a couple weeks,
though I'll have net access in between. Maybe when I
get back, I'll have developed some maturity. 'Night,
all.
(This is CP0006)
You're in luck, because I've obtained a rare and wonderful bit of trolling history: complete e-mail logs of the K22320inchfan mailing list! Yes, that's right: when Scott Lockwood's inanity forced the elite of the Slashdot trollers (who later went on to form the popular and controversial news site Adequacy.org) off of their hidden sids, they migrated to a secret mailing list known as K22320inchfan, behind closed doors, where they conducted their trolling out of the public eye. The general public has never been privy to these secret machinations: until now!!!
Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen! In the vary near future, the entire e-mail history of the K22320inchfan mailing list will be posted to the teh Intarweb and revealed to the world! The secrets of the elite trollers will finally be available to the common man, and to evaryone else!
Features include:
Over 8 megabytes of text!
Over 3000 messages!
Secrets you won't find anywhere else!
The true identities of all your Adequacy favorites!
Learn where they live, work, and play!
Learn who they like, and who they hate!
Totally raw and uncensored!
???
PROFIT!!
;). If someone had created a 'KTB' character on k5 before I had, I would probably have been annoyed, but only because I may want to extend the character, insofar as I have developed it, onto k5 as well. The thing is, *I* am not really on the internet much at all. It seems that Siggy is, though, from what I can tell. He seems to be really into writing those torrid diaries, and exploring rather private parts of his personality in the most public of places - such as his sexuality, as 'Going For -100 Karma' publicised on /. If he really is exposing his true self to the k5 audience, this may be why he has become so defensive about the 'Bojay Iverson' thing - I would certainly be in a panic in his situation, if I thought the online world could reach into the real world and give me a kicking. I don't think I'll ever write diaries on k5, or if I do, they won't be about me, thats for sure. It freaks me out a little how easy it is to get information about someone on the internet, and the last thing I want want is an online diary, that will never expire, being accessible to all and sundry. I don't know, I just find the idea of posting your personal thoughts for all the world to see rather strange, if not a little ;)
2 0/21124/277&cid=4#4
All this, and more, will be available to you soon online, as part of the most revolutionary project in the history of trolling. Learn all the secrets that Vladequacy does not want you to know. All 3000+ messages are coming your way soon!
Here's a preview!
* * * *
From: Barry Corrigan <barry@bjcorrigan.fsnet.co.uk>
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] talk about smoking crack...
Date sent: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 07:41:16 +0000
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
I find it interesting that it is possible to extend your ego to the internet to the degree that siggy seems to have done. I haven't used the
internet for very long (thats the UK for you), but I can certainly see how its possible to end up actually caring about some online persona.
Personally, I don't give a shit, but thats because I don't have an online persona that is actually me (does this post negate that? I'm not telling you
creepy. Perhaps its a Britain-America thing, I've heard that Americans are not shy, in fact sometimes I think they have never heard of the concept of embarrassment. So there you go
Sorry for this bollocks.
On Fri, 22 Dec 2000, you wrote:
> Hi. I couldn't stay away, so I scrounged up some 'net
> access. Hi.
>
> I was talking with rusty indirectly about this, last
> night. He was asking me why I wanted k5 Anne Marie's
> nick -- that is, why I wanted to carry that "slashdot
> baggage" over with me to k5, the same way siggy did.
> It's funny, that way. I wanted k5 Anne Marie because
> it's a lovely character troll of mine. Siggy wanted
> "Signal 11" because it's the only way he's ever gotten
> a lot of (any) attention. He's afraid to be just
> Bojay Iverson, and it really comes across.
>
> --- Barry Corrigan
> wrote:
> >
> > Wow. I think I understand now why everyone seems to
> > dislike Signal 11 so much.
> > I mean, that has to be one of the most arrogant
> > things I've read, ohhh, all
> > week!
> > It was also extremely funny. Does he think he is an
> > internet celebrity or
> > something? In that post he came across as a jaded
> > Hollywood star.
> > Oh well, back to the horribleness of Java...
> >
> >
> >
> > On Fri, 22 Dec 2000, you wrote:
> > >
> >
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=comments&sid=2000/12/
> > >
> > > "Most of the best trolls on slashdot, I suspect,
> > were inspired by me. "
> > >
> > > i actually feel sorry for the guy. he needs some
> attention.
From: Ceee Peee
/lived/ by you. If I were to go to Denny's
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] sunday adventure at deny's
Date sent: Sun, 7 Jan 2001 14:15:42 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0014)
Sometimes I'm jealous of you, Warren. Not the
paranoia or the psychotropic haze you walk around in
often, but the way even the smallest experiences are
so well
(only slightly higher on my list than Cracker Barrel
-- a racist homophobic trailertrash chickenshit
restaurant, for the edification of the Brits in the
audience), it'd hardly register on my mind to notice
half the stuff you do. Sure, I can remember lots in
hindsight, like the Weslyan wicca-ish waitress who
served me and my gf's family at a veganish restaurant
in Middletown, CT at lunch today, but you turn it into
your own opera.
Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I'm just normal. I'd like
to think it's the former.
(This is CP0014)
From: Ceee Peee
0 /12/20/01446/325).
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] Sorry about that, all
Date sent: Wed, 20 Dec 2000 00:51:12 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0006)
Demonstrating poor judgment on my part, I lobbed
another at the k5 queue
(http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=200
It's not half as big a troll as the last one, but,
well, I guess people are still angry about the last
one. Let's just say the only thing geeks defend more
than their porn is their smokes.
JSM, I'm disappointed you didn't show some guts and
just mod it down. Have I pissed enough in your
swimming pool yet? Heck, they're slandering you in
there, equating the two of us. Even rusty's annoyed,
and he has a sense of humor (though his reasoning
isn't so hot).
I think I'll leave k5 alone for a while. I'm leaving
town in two days and won't be back for a couple weeks,
though I'll have net access in between. Maybe when I
get back, I'll have developed some maturity. 'Night,
all.
(This is CP0006)
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] advice?
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 04:34:58 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0013)
Indeed, whimsy is an open account (for posting whimsical diaries) whose password is 'whimsy'. I've contributed some diaries (principally, "I was there watching the world go by" and "How to calculate your social security income") and so have felt free to abuse the account for comment posting in Anne Marie stories. My guess is the other whimsy poster is tewl, since she posted something about "oh, I didn't realize annemarie=cp" in k5tt a while back.
I share your incredulity. Anyone who reads through k5tt would know the truth. Anyone who suspected could do a search on my (cp's) comments and see I only post in anne marie's stories. Oh well. It's fun to see rusty defend me.
--- James <spiralx@spazmail.com> wrote:
> --- =?iso-8859-1?q?I=20am=20Troll?=
> <i_am_troll@yahoo.co.uk>
> > wrote:
> >I thought that you were Whimsy? Why did you just
> out
> >yourself and then ask us to mod it down? Explain
> now,
> >or I'll moderate the comment up.
>
> Nah, Whimsy is an open account anyone can use if
> they know the password, which is lost to me, but
> could be "whimsy". So at least one other person
> remembers the password and knows that cp is anne
> marie.
>
> What I'd like to know is how on Earth has cp managed
> to keep the fact that he is Anne Marie quiet so
> well? I mean, he hardly tried to keep it quiet with
> trolltalk posts and so on, and yet very few seem to
> know who Anne Marie actually is...
>
> J
>
> P.S. I really want to smoke. Bugger. Giving up
> sucks.
(This is CP0013)
Please stop trying to hold an actual discussion of the article, people are trying to crapflood in here.
From: Ceee Peee
/. after a long series of trolls, it's time to whore [the queue] again.
/. ever was. My intentions and hopes aren't to destroy k5 but to become a watershed event in its history, fit to go into next year's year-in-review. Looks like I'm succeeding.
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] the real anne marie stood up
Date sent: Sun, 7 Jan 2001 20:24:36 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0016)
Agreed, but I have to find better ones. As much as I liked the dementia-causes-popmusic-preference one, the k5 crowd just didn't care. Like on
One of these days I'm going to write an op/ed meta story called "Hi, I'm Anne Marie. You're all hypocrites." But I think I'll hold back, now.
BTW, the ktb=educatedescort cries are hilarious, at least to me. Soon, rusty'll have to change k5's motto to "Technology and culture from the trenches and stuff about Anne Marie". I'd feel remorse, but a) I like the attention and b) I give k5 more credit than that; it's more resilient than
--- jlb wrote:
> As those of you who are interested have probably
> already seen, the real
> anne marie has posted a story on k5 saying that
> she's not the AM account
> on k5 or slashdot. She apparently put something in
> the html source of her
> educatedescort site saying as much.
>
> My advice to cp: keep posting stories like nothing,
> at all, has changed.
>
> -lb
>
> --
> "Is this real?"
> "Does it matter?"
>
(This is CP0016)
You're in luck, because I've obtained a rare and wonderful bit of trolling history: complete e-mail logs of the K22320inchfan mailing list! Yes, that's right: when Scott Lockwood's inanity forced the elite of the Slashdot trollers (who later went on to form the popular and controversial news site Adequacy.org) off of their hidden sids, they migrated to a secret mailing list known as K22320inchfan, behind closed doors, where they conducted their trolling out of the public eye. The general public has never been privy to these secret machinations: until now!!!
Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen! In the vary near future, the entire e-mail history of the K22320inchfan mailing list will be posted to the teh Intarweb and revealed to the world! The secrets of the elite trollers will finally be available to the common man, and to evaryone else!
Features include:
Over 8 megabytes of text!
Over 3000 messages!
Secrets you won't find anywhere else!
The true identities of all your Adequacy favorites!
Learn where they live, work, and play!
Learn who they like, and who they hate!
Totally raw and uncensored!
???
PROFIT!!
;). If someone had created a 'KTB' character on k5 before I had, I would probably have been annoyed, but only because I may want to extend the character, insofar as I have developed it, onto k5 as well. The thing is, *I* am not really on the internet much at all. It seems that Siggy is, though, from what I can tell. He seems to be really into writing those torrid diaries, and exploring rather private parts of his personality in the most public of places - such as his sexuality, as 'Going For -100 Karma' publicised on /. If he really is exposing his true self to the k5 audience, this may be why he has become so defensive about the 'Bojay Iverson' thing - I would certainly be in a panic in his situation, if I thought the online world could reach into the real world and give me a kicking. I don't think I'll ever write diaries on k5, or if I do, they won't be about me, thats for sure. It freaks me out a little how easy it is to get information about someone on the internet, and the last thing I want want is an online diary, that will never expire, being accessible to all and sundry. I don't know, I just find the idea of posting your personal thoughts for all the world to see rather strange, if not a little ;)
2 0/21124/277&cid=4#4
All this, and more, will be available to you soon online, as part of the most revolutionary project in the history of trolling. Learn all the secrets that Vladequacy does not want you to know. All 3000+ messages are coming your way soon!
Here's a preview!
* * * *
From: Barry Corrigan <barry@bjcorrigan.fsnet.co.uk>
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] talk about smoking crack...
Date sent: Fri, 22 Dec 2000 07:41:16 +0000
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
I find it interesting that it is possible to extend your ego to the internet to the degree that siggy seems to have done. I haven't used the
internet for very long (thats the UK for you), but I can certainly see how its possible to end up actually caring about some online persona.
Personally, I don't give a shit, but thats because I don't have an online persona that is actually me (does this post negate that? I'm not telling you
creepy. Perhaps its a Britain-America thing, I've heard that Americans are not shy, in fact sometimes I think they have never heard of the concept of embarrassment. So there you go
Sorry for this bollocks.
On Fri, 22 Dec 2000, you wrote:
> Hi. I couldn't stay away, so I scrounged up some 'net
> access. Hi.
>
> I was talking with rusty indirectly about this, last
> night. He was asking me why I wanted k5 Anne Marie's
> nick -- that is, why I wanted to carry that "slashdot
> baggage" over with me to k5, the same way siggy did.
> It's funny, that way. I wanted k5 Anne Marie because
> it's a lovely character troll of mine. Siggy wanted
> "Signal 11" because it's the only way he's ever gotten
> a lot of (any) attention. He's afraid to be just
> Bojay Iverson, and it really comes across.
>
> --- Barry Corrigan
> wrote:
> >
> > Wow. I think I understand now why everyone seems to
> > dislike Signal 11 so much.
> > I mean, that has to be one of the most arrogant
> > things I've read, ohhh, all
> > week!
> > It was also extremely funny. Does he think he is an
> > internet celebrity or
> > something? In that post he came across as a jaded
> > Hollywood star.
> > Oh well, back to the horribleness of Java...
> >
> >
> >
> > On Fri, 22 Dec 2000, you wrote:
> > >
> >
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=comments&sid=2000/12/
> > >
> > > "Most of the best trolls on slashdot, I suspect,
> > were inspired by me. "
> > >
> > > i actually feel sorry for the guy. he needs some
> attention.
From: Ceee Peee
_
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] the real anne marie stood up
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 08:20:23 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0017)
Please elaborate. For example, does that mean you're
lifting your k5 "no troll" ordinance?
--- John Montoya <johnsaulmontoya@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> --- Ceee Peee <cptroll@yahoo.com> wrote:
> > My intentions
> > and hopes aren't to destroy k5
>
> nahhh, fuck 'em.
>
> dd
>
> _________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Photos - Share your holiday photos online!
> http://photos.yahoo.com/
(This is CP0017)
From: cptroll
.sig files as well. Not a big deal.
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Have I gone soft?
Date sent: Mon, 16 Oct 2000 13:01:08 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0024)
Marc Stauffer <marc@ksac.com> wrote:
>: True. I still think karma as a persistent user property ought to be
>: eliminated. It's fine to score individual comments, and even to award a
>: special +1 comment bonus to selected "good posters", but karma as a prop for
>: the self-esteem of pathetic geeks, or as a game, is dumb. At the very least,
>: karma should not be displayed, not even one's own karma. And if it's going
>: to exist, it ought to be aged so that my recent activity is treated as a
>: better predictor of the value of my next comment than something I wrote a
>: year ago.
Bah, I'd hate this, but then I'm too much a karmawhore at heart. But if we could somehow increase the amount of quality moderation (to get rid of brainless drivel, not just spam) and rely on our abilities to craft quality-sounding trolls, then I wouldn't complain too much if we got rid of karma altogether and got rid of the +1 bonus along with it. Originally, the +1 bonus was reserved by just a few, but now every lamer and his dog has it. It's lost all meaning.
>What this doesn't solve, however, is the inherent problems
>with moderation. Not with the system, mind you, but with the
>users. There needs to be stricter policies, e.g. no
>usernames displayed when you moderate, or something along
>those lines, and the penalties for crummy mods need to be
>higher. In fact, people need to be banned from moderating
>more often since they simply suck at it.
I'd been thinking along the lines of hiding usernames during moderation, if nothing else than to help us trolls with recognizable usernames who get unfair moderation simply for being trolls in general than just on a particular post. I can see several0 problems, though:
1) It won't stop the most dedicated of trollbusters who will keep a separate window open as AC where they can see people's usernames. These are the moderators who most need to be stopped, and yet this restriction won't do so.
2) It will add a social cost to moderating itself. People might just start throwing their points at crap just to get back to normal mode where they can see who's talking. But it could cut both ways.
3) It'll increase the amount of noisy replies screaming: "Moderators! Don't you realize streetlawyer/flatpack/etc. is the one saying this?!?!?!" We don't need that.
4) You'd have to hide
(This is CP0024)
YHBT YHL HAND
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Linux Magazine, Rubber and bolts.
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 22:03:43 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0032)
Aren't you still doing the Arkansas thing? Doesn't jive....
Craig McPherson <craig@laceyonline.com> wrote:
>Shut up, WILLIAM HENRY GATES. How does STEVE BALMER'S
>SEMEN taste??? Do you enjoy that AIDS-INFESTED JISM as you
>MASTURBATE to PHOTOGRAPHS of YOUNG CHILDREN?
>
>On 27 Oct 00, at 14:22, rev wrote:
>
>> I knew you were gdb you bastard!
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Craig McPherson" <craig@laceyonline.com>
>> To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
>> Sent: Friday, October 27, 2000 8:17 PM
>> Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Linux Magazine, Rubber and bolts.
>>
>>
>> > You should try MAXIMUM LINUX. It has MAE LING MAK. There's
>> > a picture of her in every issue wearing nothing but a VAIO! And the
>> > VAIO runs Linux! 'Cept she can't get the sound to work.
>> >
>> > MAE LING MAK is a SECURITY EXPERT. She wrote a
>> > SECURITY ARTICLE for MAXIMUM LINUX about ADVANCED
>> > SECURITY. She suggested that you PROTECT your e-mail from
>> > HACKERS, you do this:
>> >
>> > alias pine='blahblahblah'
>> > alias foo='pine'
>> >
>> > If you do this ADVANCED SECURITY stuff, an EVIL HACKER who
>> > breaks into your account an tries to read your e-mail with PINE will
>> > get an error when he types "pine", not knowing that to get into PINE,
>> > he ACTUALLY has to type "foo"! But MAE LING MAK knows, so SHE can
>> > read her e-mail but the EVIL HACKERS can't.
>> >
>> > Isn't MAE LING MAK smart? I like her ass the best.
>> >
>> > Also, you need to GO READ http://www.gnu.org/philosophy
>> >
>> > You don't not understand the BASIC CONCEPTS of FREE
>> > SOFTWARE. You don't understand the difference between
>> > PHYSICAL VALUE and INTELLECTUAL VALUE. A MAGAZINE
>> > has physical value, it costs MONEY to COPY and DISTRIBUTE. It
>> > exists as a PHYSICAL OBJECT, therefore it has PHYSICAL
>> > VALUE. SOFTWARE does not. It can be COPIED and
>> > DISTRIBUTED for FREE. Some EVIL SOCIALIST SOFTWARE
>> > COMPANIES try to CHARGE for software ANYWAY, and place
>> > RESTRICTIONS on the user's RIGHT to USE, and DISTRIBUTE it!
>> > They assign INTELLECTUAL VALUE to the software. This is
>> > morally WRONG. Get it RIGHT, fsckwit.
>> >
>> > Also, you're using MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EXPRESS, which
>> > proves you're STUPID.
>> >
>> > You can't compare a MAGAZINE to SOFTWARE, just like you
>> > can't compare YOUR MOTHER to a FEMALE. They're completely
>> > different things.
>> >
>> > SUCK IT DOWN AND CHOKE ON IT, AND DIE. SUCK IT DOWN
>> > AND CHOKE ON IT. SUCK IT DOWN. SUCK IT. SUCK. I'LL
>> > BURN YOU ALL ALIVE. I'LL BURN YOU ALL. I'LL BURN YOU.
>> > BURN YOU ALL. BURN YOU. BURN. BURN. BURN.
>> > BURNING. BURNING. BURNING BURNING FIRE. DEATH AND
>> > PAIN AND FIRE.
(This is CP0032)
Gee, the censorship at kuro5hin has seemed to misplace a large amount of village idiots.
Perchance the slashdot community could take a moment and reflect on how (like open source) this shared experience can be used to control the nuisances on this site.
I propose, and throw my full support towards adoption of kuro5hin standards for IP blocking, and removal of posts.
The removal of posts would be an easy process. If a post is rated a -1 or less, a moderator should be able to elect to delete the post.
This, of course, would no longer be called moderating. It would be editing.
It would truly kick ass to see non T-SPAMMED stories here. (Troll SPAMMED, or Thread SPAMMED)
krystal_blade
It will be easy to motivate our fellow man; there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.
From: Ceee Peee
/ 1/3/22048/19424&mode=mod
0 /10/08/stifgneur01002.html). Lots of potential, and ideas are welcome. (I already have a link to a story about an Egyptian sacrificial ram chasing its owner off a roof.)
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] you know the drill
Date sent: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 00:38:57 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0011)
Gimme some juice:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001
erate
Actually, it's bound to get modded up on its own because: 1) it's controversial but hardly a troll 2) it conforms to k5 groupthink as a topic for discussion and 3) it has jsm's blessing, something none of Anne Marie's previous submissions ever had. The only thing it has going against it is an annoying misspelling of "K/Clan" in KKK for good measure.
Mostly, I'm just cleansing the k5 pallate for tomorrow's big troll submission: Switzerland has a referendum to give animals human rights (http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/200
(This is CP0011)
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] talk about smoking crack...
Date sent: Thu, 21 Dec 2000 23:26:33 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0007)
Hi. I couldn't stay away, so I scrounged up some 'net
access. Hi.
I was talking with rusty indirectly about this, last
night. He was asking me why I wanted k5 Anne Marie's
nick -- that is, why I wanted to carry that "slashdot
baggage" over with me to k5, the same way siggy did.
It's funny, that way. I wanted k5 Anne Marie because
it's a lovely character troll of mine. Siggy wanted
"Signal 11" because it's the only way he's ever gotten
a lot of (any) attention. He's afraid to be just
Bojay Iverson, and it really comes across.
(This is CP0007)
As quite possibly the only member of the old-school Slashdot trolls to ever actually attempt a serious and meaningful conversation with Mr. Lockwood (it worked, briefly), I feel compelled to comment on this.
That Geekizoid is an inanity is beyond dispute. That it is what it is almost entirely because of Mr. Lockwood is also beyond dispute. That Mr. Lockwood has, furthermore, contributed substantially to the deterioration of every site to which he has ever posted, save only those which were beyond redemption before he ever saw them (a category which arguably includes Slashdot), I will not dispute. That all of this, along with the other charges leveled against him, proves that Mr. Lockwood sucks, I will not dispute.
The real question behind all this, though, is not whether Mr. Lockwood sucks, but why Mr. Lockwood sucks. One might say that it does not matter, noting, by analogy, that one does not psychoanalyze a rabid dog, but instead simply puts it out of its misery. But it does matter, for in his own odd and frightening way, Scott Lockwood is Everyman. If you do not understand him, you do not understand anyone, probably including yourself.
Everyone, seemingly, detests Mr. Lockwood. Given that he had been married four times before he turned 30, this "everyone" may well include three ex-wives (last I heard, we're still waiting for his inevitable fourth divorce). From various anecdotes he has let drop over the years, there are a variety of real-life acquaintances, co-workers, and blood relatives in this category as well. So clearly, this is not just an online phenomenon; Mr. Lockwood is not a caring, sensitive man who lets off steam late at night by flaming people on weblogs. He is like this all the time. It is not a pose. It is the real Scott Lockwood, at 200 proof.
Mr. Lockwood himself is not unaware of this. He knows (and wishes it were not so) that dislike follows him around like the odor of alcohol trails after a drunk. But he has no idea why this is so. He knows it has to do with his abrasive and temperamental demeanor; he knows that his argumentative and self-righteous comments, and his complaints of being mistreated, win him no friends. But the connection between the cause and the effect, and the difference between his conduct and most other people's, escapes him. He has given up hope of understanding or improving the situation; he expects that it will continue, without change, for the rest of his life.
Mr. Lockwood does not understand that all of these things are symptomatic of a malaise that underlies his entire life. It is a condition that he was very nearly born with, and one which victimizes nearly all people to some degree. Most of us are not nearly as bad off as Mr. Lockwood; but there are some that have much more severe cases than him. Many rapists, murderers, and other violent criminals fall into that latter category. But even those of us who merely think ourselves better or smarter than everyone else, or who consider ourselves fit to decide what is right for everyone else, or who mock others for what they believe, are victims of this condition to some degree. I include myself in this; I do not claim (yet) to be speaking from a perspective completely outside the state of disease.
Mr. Lockwood's problem, to put it simply, is that he perceives the universe to be antagonistic to him. He has divided the universe into Self and Other, and decided that these two are eternal antagonists. Everything is his enemy; every action that anyone takes (other than to praise him), he perceives as some sort of attack, and he retaliates accordingly. He is convinced, although probably only subconsciously, that his life is a war in which he stands alone against all the forces of the universe. It is, in essence, the ultimate in paranoia.
As I wrote above, nearly everyone shares this condition to some extent. Many serial killers operate on the principle that, life being a never-ending battle that they will ultimately lose, they should take as many of the "enemy" with them as they can before they fall. But even ordinary people mostly act on analogous principles. Many people exploit the world around them in destructive or insensitive ways, or mistreat their fellow humans needlessly. This is all a consequence of defining the Other as an enemy; and this, in turn, is based on the fundamental error of dividing the universe into Self and Other.
What we all (Mr. Lockwood included) should strive for is an end to this division, which is really only a matter of mental habits, not an a priori property of existence. It derives from the infant's perception that part of what he perceives obeys his will and sends him sensory input (Self), and the rest does not (Other). The antagonism between these two hypothesized entities derives from the instinctive desire on the child's part to impose his will on everything; Other does not do what he wants, and is therefore the enemy. And so the infant makes the fundamental error that haunts him, in most cases, for the rest of his life.
This is what makes Mr. Lockwood tick. It is probably also what makes you tick. Think about that carefully before flaming him simply because his case is a bit worse than yours -- if indeed you are better off.
--mv
Surely, Mr. Traficant is quaking in his boots at the prospect
of being interviewed by Ms. Sassaman. Ms. Sassaman's reporting
is the most hard-hitting; the most insightful; the most
fact-based. Every interview she does (how many... two now?) opens
a Pandora's box of corruption and intrigue.
Ms. Sassaman concocts many a rich fantasy in her clouded mind. Her
writing never seems to hit the mark. That is because it is never
based in anything resembling reality. How many times have we been
teased with suggestions of "having it cold" that a "certain large
company" is involved in far-reaching scandal? How many times have we
been promised penetrating interviews with the rich and famous?
I think it has become painfully obvious that Ms. Sassaman lives in
a world completely of her own manufacture. "I'm going to interview Jamez
Traficante." "I'm going to blow the lid off of nookie." "I'm going
to expose the corruption going on in Russian Blue cat farms."
Yes. We believe you, Esther. Now, go in for your schizophrenia
treatment and quiet down.
Now, there is nothing wrong with living in a fantasy. And there is
nothing wrong with setting goals for yourself. But Kuro5hin has had
enough of Ms. Sassaman's blatant and admitted trolling and attention
farming. After having read this diary entry several times, I can see
no other purpose than to say to all of Kuro5hin: "Look at me! I'm a
hot-shot journalist and I'm going to interview Jamez Traficante! Please
heap your adulation on me now!"
Sorry, not this time. Perhaps a better place to have posted this
diary would have been Adequacy,
which is the intended victim of this fantasy interview. What, pray tell, was
the reason for posting this here? To get more traffic for Adequacy,
which has been in steady decline for several months now? Probably. And,
of course, personal attention.
In summary, I guess I can only point out that I have spoken to people who
were under the influence of LSD and still had more grounding in reality than
Ms. Sassaman. Perhaps she would do well to pack her knapsack and hitch a
ride to China, where her delusions of grandeur and fantasies of conspiracy
could be put to good use in a propaganda machine.
Bye.
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] advice?
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 04:34:58 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0013)
Indeed, whimsy is an open account (for posting whimsical diaries) whose password is 'whimsy'. I've contributed some diaries (principally, "I was there watching the world go by" and "How to calculate your social security income") and so have felt free to abuse the account for comment posting in Anne Marie stories. My guess is the other whimsy poster is tewl, since she posted something about "oh, I didn't realize annemarie=cp" in k5tt a while back.
I share your incredulity. Anyone who reads through k5tt would know the truth. Anyone who suspected could do a search on my (cp's) comments and see I only post in anne marie's stories. Oh well. It's fun to see rusty defend me.
--- James <spiralx@spazmail.com> wrote:
> --- =?iso-8859-1?q?I=20am=20Troll?=
> <i_am_troll@yahoo.co.uk>
> > wrote:
> >I thought that you were Whimsy? Why did you just
> out
> >yourself and then ask us to mod it down? Explain
> now,
> >or I'll moderate the comment up.
>
> Nah, Whimsy is an open account anyone can use if
> they know the password, which is lost to me, but
> could be "whimsy". So at least one other person
> remembers the password and knows that cp is anne
> marie.
>
> What I'd like to know is how on Earth has cp managed
> to keep the fact that he is Anne Marie quiet so
> well? I mean, he hardly tried to keep it quiet with
> trolltalk posts and so on, and yet very few seem to
> know who Anne Marie actually is...
>
> J
>
> P.S. I really want to smoke. Bugger. Giving up
> sucks.
(This is CP0013)
Hi. My name is Theodore "Teddy" Devon, and I'm a 32 year old single gay
white male, who just happens to be an Aquarius/Pisces cusp. If you know
anything about astrology, it fits me perfectly. I'm 6'1" (without my heels),
and 160 pounds. I have (for now) kinda short pink hair. But the style and
color are always changing!!! I am origionaly from Detroit, MI. But I moved
here to Joliet from Missouri. I've lived all over the Chicago area in
general. You get the picture. Oh, and just for all you ignorant bastards out
there who don't like "femme" guys, you won't like me. If you couldn't tell
by the pic above, yes, I act like a fag. I'm a queen, The Queen to be exact,
a flamer, you name it, I've been called it. I am who I am, and I'm not
ashamed or embarassed. And I will not censor or change myself for anyone or
anything. So if you can't deal with that, I'm sure you can't deal with me.
Cher, Cher, and more Cher. Cher is my idol, my hero, my god, my everthing. I
love her so much. She has had such an impact on my life. Along with Linda
Hamilton. They are beyond fierce. So yes, music and movies are a big part of
what I'm about. I'm a pop princess when it comes to music. Cher of course,
Geri Halliwell (ex Ginger Spice), Madonna, the A*Teens, and Tina Turner.
When it comes to movies, I worked at a video rental store for three years so
I've seen just about every one. But I usually see movies for who is in them,
not what they are about. You see some pretty bad movies that way, but a lot
of really amazing, interesting ones that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.
My best friend, my other half, my life, my soul, my everthing, William Scott
Lockwood. I love you more than you will ever know.
* * * *
God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 05:15 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#810)
But mainly help me. I had a long, dull business trip Tues. and Wed., and as a result I wrote the following (5000 words and still unfinished) Slashdot Troll FAQ. I haven't been able to build on 80md's original due to lack of connection, but the doct. below still needs revised. Specifically, it needs to be made more entertaining. See whatcha think.
jsm
Slashdot troll FAQ
We post inflammatory, satirical or just plain weird comments on slashdot, aiming to draw attention to ourselves and to distract discussion away from the matter at hand. We use satire, wit, art and other cultural weapons to give fun to the clueful and embarrass the clueless.
A good troll is a statement designed to inflame the passions of a certain type of reader. A troll is a contrary or controversial statement, which attacks a preconception of someone who is likely to read it, causing them to suspend their normal standards of critical thinking, and to fire off a combative response, without thinking that they are being had. This is the "classic" troll, aimed at enticing someone to make a fool of themself.
Yes. The "surrealistic" troll is a piece of prose, rambling, comic or just downright weird, inserted into a discussion where it seems at once utterly irrelevant and curiously in place. The common thread linking the types of trolls is that a certain kind of personality (read - far too uptight) gets irrationally annoyed by them.
Some kinds of trollish statement have been proven to work again and again, so naturally, some trolls have taken advantage of this fact to repeat them again and again. Certain individual trolls are more or less identified with certain types of trollish statement, and thus we have the idea of a "character" - a fictitious entity which is supposed to actually hold the views which are expressed in the troll's posts. Some of these characters have distinct personalities and maintain narrative coherence from troll to troll (see the "Microsoft Linux" episode between streetlawyer and DMG); some of them show up expressing the same or similar points of view again and again (the RWM and derivatives).
The number one maximally 1337 troll character is the RWM; the most established troll, with the most solid track record behind him. Opensource man and his creations is the oldest surreal troll; gnarphlager and auntfloyd also adopt this style. Paranoid Man is getting off the ground, and DMG and streetlawyer have their fans. Mindless Bastard is more of a style of trolling than a character per se. There are lots more people posting trolls than are listed here; these are just the repeating characters.
RWM is the Right Wing Maniac, a character with a hotch-potch of (often mutually incompatible) libertarian, Christian, and Objectivist views, who typically (mis)applies the general principles of his world-view to various slashdot topics. He tends to be keen on referring to people as "socialists", particularly if they consider themselves to be conservatives. Sometimes he's more of a religious nut; sometimes it's more the free market which rings his bell. There is also a Left Wing Maniac with a yen for spouting dialectical materialism, but he hasn't done much recently. It's worth noting that it is very rare to find a RWM troll thread in which at least one participant doesn't agree with most of RWM's views.
DMG is the Dumb Marketing Guy. He claims to have been involved in Linux for "at least four years, since the very beginning", and offers unsolicited "open source" marketing advice on Linux advocacy to the members of the community. He often takes a rather hurt tone in response to the welter of abuse which is the usual response to his advice.
For crying out loud, they ought to be self-explanatory, surely to heck?
Buggered if I know. Lots of trolls mention cheese, and seem to indicate that cheese has some sort of significance. Maybe it does.
Because he had a hard life, dragging himself up from the streets to get his fucken law degree from fucken Hah-vud, OK?
Well, sorry. But really, nobody cares (see below). You're too easily offended. Now purge the post from your board, log our IP address and go back to drawing your "After Y2K" comic (which is shit, by the way).
We don't do boring, uncreative shit which just makes slashdot harder to read. We're not into denial of service attacks - they aren't very funny. We're probably harsher opponents of the spam bunch than you are, because anything which encourages people to browse at levels above -1 makes our work harder.
Nope. Nezh.
Nope. Nada.
Errrr, well actually yes we have. Both of those ongoing trolls were written by regulars on the troll forum, and you're not going to find condemnation of them in this FAQ.
Read them. Untwist your underwear, stop fulminating over the momentary interruption to your terribly important discussion about Slackware and have a look at some of these posts. Open source Natalie Portman was a fine piece of Burroughsian prose and if you don't agree that it was, then you're wrong. The whole "Naked and petrified" thing was an absolute triumph - it provoked a huge amount of reaction, entertainingly interfered with a few people's heads by sexualising the context of slashdot and is still talked about, several months after the original author stopped bothering.
Sick to you, but that was actually the guy's genuinely held sexual fantasy. He was erotically excited by the thought of women turned to stone, and was letting the world know about it. Don't pretend that you weren't interested - it's absolutely fascinating.
Nope. I was taken aback myself, but there are several sites on the Net with active discussion boards on this very subject. It's not that very different from the subject of "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, where the hero has the power to stop time, effectively turning women into statues. And that is quite a common paraphilia.
No, it was a petrification fantasy. Which is something rather less threatening, because harder to act out (how many people really believed that anyone could actually turn Natalie Portman to stone?)
I'm sure she's not wonderfully happy about being the subject of someone else's tawdry sexual fantasies, but it kind of comes with the job. I doubt she loses much sleep.
Opensourceman's works (including the Star Wars series and Fat-time Charlie) are available online at: Craig MacPherson has a website at: , which probably has a few things on it to do with the petrification thing.
Wellllll
Why, for God's sake?
For a variety of reasons, but mainly to puncture the self-importance of a few people who deeply deserve it. Slashdot has a lot of very clever people posting, but vastly more individuals with a serious perception/reality gap with regard to their own intelligence. People who believe themselves to be perceptive, clueful, even deep thinkers while merely reciting lists of conventional wisdom deserve to be taken for a ride. And there's the sheer Skinnerian joy of it - if somebody, or some group of people have buttons, it's inhuman not to take delight in pushing them.
In order to do it properly.
No problem. Whining about moderation is for the moderation thread. Several trolls moderate more or less frequently (and meta-moderate - be very afraid), and there is very little genuine complaint about moderation on the troll threads. Any remarks about $3 crack are meant in a spirit of fun and affection, and are usually merely cris de coeur when a finely crafted troll has been rumbled in the first few seconds and down-modded.
That was funny.
Where is there? We've had a token go or two at Nitrozac and kuro5hin, and an abortive attempt to troll some of the statuephilia discussion boards with discussions about technology, but it just doesn't feel right. If you ain't on slashdot, you ain't, basically, trolling.
That isn't even true. Several of the troll regulars have enough Karma to post with the +1 bonus when they use their regular identities, which puts them in the top decile, according to Rob Malda. And there is a definite audience for quality trolls. Have you just been trolled? Is that why you're so angry? Calm down, it'll be someone else's turn in the barrel on Friday.
To paraphrase gnarphlager, yes, we have many better things to do, but we're not going to do them.
How can I recognise a troll?
If you want to spot a troll, then you're basically entering into a game, played against us. You have to keep your guard up, adopt a critical attitude to what you read and decide whether it is plausible that someone is actually posting that view. For our part, we will intermingle fact and fiction, invent plausible-sounding references and (always) attempt to attack your emotional involvement in a topic in order to make you drop your guard. The more ridiculous the proposition we sneak under your guard, the more we win. The angrier you get, the more we win. And you? As the computer said in War Games "The only way to win is not to play".
Usually, a troll will resemble a normal slashdot post, but will contain at least one thing which is not true. A good troll will contain material which obviously couldn't possibly be true, and would not fool anyone who gave it a moment's thought. The troll will also contain an inflammatory or controversial statement, designed to make sure that nobody does give it a moment's thought. Criticism of Linux, strong or offensive political views, mockery of "computer geeks", claims about the inferiority of women/Canadians/Perl, all of that stuff. Interestingly, having experimented with using outright, Bell-Curve-like racist statements to act as the controversial part of the troll, I've found that they never offend anyone, which I guess shows what a lily-white place slashdot is.
Obviously these rules apply more to the classic satirical model of a troll, but there is a strong family resemblance in the surrealist model. Looking at the best work of osm, gnarphlager, auntfloyd et al., you pick up a strong sense of the underlying form. There is the (often highly tenuous) link to the subject matter, the building sense of cognitive dissonance and then the denouement in which the troll moves into the realm of pure surrealist prose (or "gets silly", depending on how you look at it). Typically, when reading such a troll for the first time, and in the context of the thread, the reader's reaction goes through stages.
At the opening of the troll, in which the technological subject matter is being obliquely referred to, the reader is curious. There is an unconscious assumption that what is being used is a metaphor, which appears opaque but will actually make an argument clear (in such a way the surrealist trolls subvert the category of metaphor as used in scientific discussions). Then, the tension between the what the reader wants to read and what he/she sees on the page grows, but the reader still tries to hang on to the idea that he/she is reading "News for Nerds". Finally, when the reality (that is, the unreality) of the troll is revealed, the reader is outraged at having been tricked.
Thus, we can see that the distinction between the classical and surrealist trolls is one of inversion; metaphor versus metonymy. The classical troll traps the reader in metaphor, creating the "character" or authorial fiction, which the reader takes as a metonymy for "The Other" - the fictional creature on the screen is espousing Microsoft, or Libertarianism, or something else which must be ritually reacted to, rather than read as if it were a metaphorical text. The surrealist troll appears to use metaphor, but creates no authorial fiction. The piling up of the metonymic symbols of trolldom (cheese, Natalie Portman, the Troll itself) draws the reader into the pure text, looking for a meaning (or metaphor) which is always deferred. The reader wants to create an authorial fiction, but this is denied - and it is this denial which is the source of his/her rage. The surrealist troll lets the reader down with a bump - the satirical troll, in its purest form, never lets the reader out at all, leaving him/her stuck in a world which is false, because he/she is being manipulated by the authorial fiction. Classical trolling is about the use of metaphor to create metonymy; surrealist trolling is using metonymy to create metapor.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. (Ha ha, only serious)
Pretty much so, yeah. There's been "trolltalk", "trolltalk2", "31337troll" and a bunch of others. It's good to be able to see other people's work, to discuss trolling, and on occasion to have a way of proving for sure that something you wrote was a troll, to a particularly persistent mark.
If I could tell you, I'd have to kill you. There have been a few problems with people stalking some of the trolls, and spamming the troll forums with whitespace to make them unusable. There's no big secret or anything, it's just that we'd like to think that finding the troll forum requires a modicum of commitment and ingenuity. There's one pretty well-trafficked troll forum which is listed in most of the usual indices. Look, fuck it, you used to be able to find BBSes, didn't you? This is no different.
Yada yada yada.
Welllllll
Write a nice, long post, beginning with the phrase "I'm sure this is a troll, but
The only approved, correct, 1337 way to deal with a troll is not to reply at all. Don't say anything. Just sit back and feel smugly self-satisfied that you caught the troll. Go on. People always seem to say the word "smug" as if it were a bad thing, but how can something that feels so good be wrong? Smirk. Once the troll is "dead" (once the author has taken credit for it and admitted the troll), you might want to post a message about it. You'll probably get a nice reply.
Wellllll
Then you should be prepared to live with being a laughing stock. We live off people like you, who simply can't stop themselves from pouring out conventional wisdom, even when they know they are being made monkeys of. And no, the "I'm pretty sure
Well, fundamentally, it lacks class. For one thing, you're feeding the troll while pretending not to feed it, which is dishonest. For another, you're encouraging lots of enraged people to visit the troll forum. This means that the troll forum gets spammed, the trolls move, and you now will be forced to spot trolls for yourself rather than reading them off the list, lamer. Also, the trolls can't tell who it was who brought the spammer there, so all the other people who used to enjoy reading the daily trolls don't find out where the new forum is.
How can I start trolling for myself?
"Just do it", as that noted provider of employment to Indonesian children once said. Your first trolls are unlikely to be offensive enough to draw many responses, but once you lose your disinclination to be unpleasant, results will follow. Of course, you may incipiently be a natural trolling genius like dmg, who got huge pops from the get-go. Choose a story which will get a lot of traffic, try to get an early, top-level post, etc, etc (here might follow a whole load of shit from the Karma HOWTO which I'm not going to reproduce). And, offend. You might want to start off with a right-wing maniac troll.
RWM is the source from which it all flows. Like an origami master building everything from a folded base, or a woodworker turning a chair-leg, the entirety of the art is encapsulated in this one element. It is possible to dedicate your entire trolling career to the perfection of the RWM (troll gods 80md and 70% more or less have done). If you can't write an RWM troll, you can't write a troll.
The key to the RWM troll is to realise its heritage from Usenet. Usenet trolling was all about cross-posting controversial statements to start flame-wars between different newsgroups. On slashdot, you can't cross-post, so you have to identify people who can be brought into conflict where you are. The beauty of the RWM troll is not so much that he sets rightwingers against leftwingers, but that he creates cognitive dissonance in rightwing readers, because they want to agree with his conclusions (or at least, his less obviously mad ones), but can't bring themselves to accept his reasoning (or simulation thereof). RWM also exploits the fact that a lot of people with right-wing views haven't necessarily thought out those views very comprehensively, and so are vulnerable to cognitive dissonance caused by the inconsistency of what they believe. Among the elements of right-wing mania are:
Obviously, everyone who disagrees with a RWM is a socialist, even if they don't think they are.
Further information
* * * *
God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 05:15 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#810)
But mainly help me. I had a long, dull business trip Tues. and Wed., and as a result I wrote the following (5000 words and still unfinished) Slashdot Troll FAQ. I haven't been able to build on 80md's original due to lack of connection, but the doct. below still needs revised. Specifically, it needs to be made more entertaining. See whatcha think.
jsm
Slashdot troll FAQ
We post inflammatory, satirical or just plain weird comments on slashdot, aiming to draw attention to ourselves and to distract discussion away from the matter at hand. We use satire, wit, art and other cultural weapons to give fun to the clueful and embarrass the clueless.
A good troll is a statement designed to inflame the passions of a certain type of reader. A troll is a contrary or controversial statement, which attacks a preconception of someone who is likely to read it, causing them to suspend their normal standards of critical thinking, and to fire off a combative response, without thinking that they are being had. This is the "classic" troll, aimed at enticing someone to make a fool of themself.
Yes. The "surrealistic" troll is a piece of prose, rambling, comic or just downright weird, inserted into a discussion where it seems at once utterly irrelevant and curiously in place. The common thread linking the types of trolls is that a certain kind of personality (read - far too uptight) gets irrationally annoyed by them.
Some kinds of trollish statement have been proven to work again and again, so naturally, some trolls have taken advantage of this fact to repeat them again and again. Certain individual trolls are more or less identified with certain types of trollish statement, and thus we have the idea of a "character" - a fictitious entity which is supposed to actually hold the views which are expressed in the troll's posts. Some of these characters have distinct personalities and maintain narrative coherence from troll to troll (see the "Microsoft Linux" episode between streetlawyer and DMG); some of them show up expressing the same or similar points of view again and again (the RWM and derivatives).
The number one maximally 1337 troll character is the RWM; the most established troll, with the most solid track record behind him. Opensource man and his creations is the oldest surreal troll; gnarphlager and auntfloyd also adopt this style. Paranoid Man is getting off the ground, and DMG and streetlawyer have their fans. Mindless Bastard is more of a style of trolling than a character per se. There are lots more people posting trolls than are listed here; these are just the repeating characters.
RWM is the Right Wing Maniac, a character with a hotch-potch of (often mutually incompatible) libertarian, Christian, and Objectivist views, who typically (mis)applies the general principles of his world-view to various slashdot topics. He tends to be keen on referring to people as "socialists", particularly if they consider themselves to be conservatives. Sometimes he's more of a religious nut; sometimes it's more the free market which rings his bell. There is also a Left Wing Maniac with a yen for spouting dialectical materialism, but he hasn't done much recently. It's worth noting that it is very rare to find a RWM troll thread in which at least one participant doesn't agree with most of RWM's views.
DMG is the Dumb Marketing Guy. He claims to have been involved in Linux for "at least four years, since the very beginning", and offers unsolicited "open source" marketing advice on Linux advocacy to the members of the community. He often takes a rather hurt tone in response to the welter of abuse which is the usual response to his advice.
For crying out loud, they ought to be self-explanatory, surely to heck?
Buggered if I know. Lots of trolls mention cheese, and seem to indicate that cheese has some sort of significance. Maybe it does.
Because he had a hard life, dragging himself up from the streets to get his fucken law degree from fucken Hah-vud, OK?
Well, sorry. But really, nobody cares (see below). You're too easily offended. Now purge the post from your board, log our IP address and go back to drawing your "After Y2K" comic (which is shit, by the way).
We don't do boring, uncreative shit which just makes slashdot harder to read. We're not into denial of service attacks - they aren't very funny. We're probably harsher opponents of the spam bunch than you are, because anything which encourages people to browse at levels above -1 makes our work harder.
Nope. Nezh.
Nope. Nada.
Errrr, well actually yes we have. Both of those ongoing trolls were written by regulars on the troll forum, and you're not going to find condemnation of them in this FAQ.
Read them. Untwist your underwear, stop fulminating over the momentary interruption to your terribly important discussion about Slackware and have a look at some of these posts. Open source Natalie Portman was a fine piece of Burroughsian prose and if you don't agree that it was, then you're wrong. The whole "Naked and petrified" thing was an absolute triumph - it provoked a huge amount of reaction, entertainingly interfered with a few people's heads by sexualising the context of slashdot and is still talked about, several months after the original author stopped bothering.
Sick to you, but that was actually the guy's genuinely held sexual fantasy. He was erotically excited by the thought of women turned to stone, and was letting the world know about it. Don't pretend that you weren't interested - it's absolutely fascinating.
Nope. I was taken aback myself, but there are several sites on the Net with active discussion boards on this very subject. It's not that very different from the subject of "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, where the hero has the power to stop time, effectively turning women into statues. And that is quite a common paraphilia.
No, it was a petrification fantasy. Which is something rather less threatening, because harder to act out (how many people really believed that anyone could actually turn Natalie Portman to stone?)
I'm sure she's not wonderfully happy about being the subject of someone else's tawdry sexual fantasies, but it kind of comes with the job. I doubt she loses much sleep.
Opensourceman's works (including the Star Wars series and Fat-time Charlie) are available online at: Craig MacPherson has a website at: , which probably has a few things on it to do with the petrification thing.
Wellllll
Why, for God's sake?
For a variety of reasons, but mainly to puncture the self-importance of a few people who deeply deserve it. Slashdot has a lot of very clever people posting, but vastly more individuals with a serious perception/reality gap with regard to their own intelligence. People who believe themselves to be perceptive, clueful, even deep thinkers while merely reciting lists of conventional wisdom deserve to be taken for a ride. And there's the sheer Skinnerian joy of it - if somebody, or some group of people have buttons, it's inhuman not to take delight in pushing them.
In order to do it properly.
No problem. Whining about moderation is for the moderation thread. Several trolls moderate more or less frequently (and meta-moderate - be very afraid), and there is very little genuine complaint about moderation on the troll threads. Any remarks about $3 crack are meant in a spirit of fun and affection, and are usually merely cris de coeur when a finely crafted troll has been rumbled in the first few seconds and down-modded.
That was funny.
Where is there? We've had a token go or two at Nitrozac and kuro5hin, and an abortive attempt to troll some of the statuephilia discussion boards with discussions about technology, but it just doesn't feel right. If you ain't on slashdot, you ain't, basically, trolling.
That isn't even true. Several of the troll regulars have enough Karma to post with the +1 bonus when they use their regular identities, which puts them in the top decile, according to Rob Malda. And there is a definite audience for quality trolls. Have you just been trolled? Is that why you're so angry? Calm down, it'll be someone else's turn in the barrel on Friday.
To paraphrase gnarphlager, yes, we have many better things to do, but we're not going to do them.
How can I recognise a troll?
If you want to spot a troll, then you're basically entering into a game, played against us. You have to keep your guard up, adopt a critical attitude to what you read and decide whether it is plausible that someone is actually posting that view. For our part, we will intermingle fact and fiction, invent plausible-sounding references and (always) attempt to attack your emotional involvement in a topic in order to make you drop your guard. The more ridiculous the proposition we sneak under your guard, the more we win. The angrier you get, the more we win. And you? As the computer said in War Games "The only way to win is not to play".
Usually, a troll will resemble a normal slashdot post, but will contain at least one thing which is not true. A good troll will contain material which obviously couldn't possibly be true, and would not fool anyone who gave it a moment's thought. The troll will also contain an inflammatory or controversial statement, designed to make sure that nobody does give it a moment's thought. Criticism of Linux, strong or offensive political views, mockery of "computer geeks", claims about the inferiority of women/Canadians/Perl, all of that stuff. Interestingly, having experimented with using outright, Bell-Curve-like racist statements to act as the controversial part of the troll, I've found that they never offend anyone, which I guess shows what a lily-white place slashdot is.
Obviously these rules apply more to the classic satirical model of a troll, but there is a strong family resemblance in the surrealist model. Looking at the best work of osm, gnarphlager, auntfloyd et al., you pick up a strong sense of the underlying form. There is the (often highly tenuous) link to the subject matter, the building sense of cognitive dissonance and then the denouement in which the troll moves into the realm of pure surrealist prose (or "gets silly", depending on how you look at it). Typically, when reading such a troll for the first time, and in the context of the thread, the reader's reaction goes through stages.
At the opening of the troll, in which the technological subject matter is being obliquely referred to, the reader is curious. There is an unconscious assumption that what is being used is a metaphor, which appears opaque but will actually make an argument clear (in such a way the surrealist trolls subvert the category of metaphor as used in scientific discussions). Then, the tension between the what the reader wants to read and what he/she sees on the page grows, but the reader still tries to hang on to the idea that he/she is reading "News for Nerds". Finally, when the reality (that is, the unreality) of the troll is revealed, the reader is outraged at having been tricked.
Thus, we can see that the distinction between the classical and surrealist trolls is one of inversion; metaphor versus metonymy. The classical troll traps the reader in metaphor, creating the "character" or authorial fiction, which the reader takes as a metonymy for "The Other" - the fictional creature on the screen is espousing Microsoft, or Libertarianism, or something else which must be ritually reacted to, rather than read as if it were a metaphorical text. The surrealist troll appears to use metaphor, but creates no authorial fiction. The piling up of the metonymic symbols of trolldom (cheese, Natalie Portman, the Troll itself) draws the reader into the pure text, looking for a meaning (or metaphor) which is always deferred. The reader wants to create an authorial fiction, but this is denied - and it is this denial which is the source of his/her rage. The surrealist troll lets the reader down with a bump - the satirical troll, in its purest form, never lets the reader out at all, leaving him/her stuck in a world which is false, because he/she is being manipulated by the authorial fiction. Classical trolling is about the use of metaphor to create metonymy; surrealist trolling is using metonymy to create metapor.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. (Ha ha, only serious)
Pretty much so, yeah. There's been "trolltalk", "trolltalk2", "31337troll" and a bunch of others. It's good to be able to see other people's work, to discuss trolling, and on occasion to have a way of proving for sure that something you wrote was a troll, to a particularly persistent mark.
If I could tell you, I'd have to kill you. There have been a few problems with people stalking some of the trolls, and spamming the troll forums with whitespace to make them unusable. There's no big secret or anything, it's just that we'd like to think that finding the troll forum requires a modicum of commitment and ingenuity. There's one pretty well-trafficked troll forum which is listed in most of the usual indices. Look, fuck it, you used to be able to find BBSes, didn't you? This is no different.
Yada yada yada.
Welllllll
Write a nice, long post, beginning with the phrase "I'm sure this is a troll, but
The only approved, correct, 1337 way to deal with a troll is not to reply at all. Don't say anything. Just sit back and feel smugly self-satisfied that you caught the troll. Go on. People always seem to say the word "smug" as if it were a bad thing, but how can something that feels so good be wrong? Smirk. Once the troll is "dead" (once the author has taken credit for it and admitted the troll), you might want to post a message about it. You'll probably get a nice reply.
Wellllll
Then you should be prepared to live with being a laughing stock. We live off people like you, who simply can't stop themselves from pouring out conventional wisdom, even when they know they are being made monkeys of. And no, the "I'm pretty sure
Well, fundamentally, it lacks class. For one thing, you're feeding the troll while pretending not to feed it, which is dishonest. For another, you're encouraging lots of enraged people to visit the troll forum. This means that the troll forum gets spammed, the trolls move, and you now will be forced to spot trolls for yourself rather than reading them off the list, lamer. Also, the trolls can't tell who it was who brought the spammer there, so all the other people who used to enjoy reading the daily trolls don't find out where the new forum is.
How can I start trolling for myself?
"Just do it", as that noted provider of employment to Indonesian children once said. Your first trolls are unlikely to be offensive enough to draw many responses, but once you lose your disinclination to be unpleasant, results will follow. Of course, you may incipiently be a natural trolling genius like dmg, who got huge pops from the get-go. Choose a story which will get a lot of traffic, try to get an early, top-level post, etc, etc (here might follow a whole load of shit from the Karma HOWTO which I'm not going to reproduce). And, offend. You might want to start off with a right-wing maniac troll.
RWM is the source from which it all flows. Like an origami master building everything from a folded base, or a woodworker turning a chair-leg, the entirety of the art is encapsulated in this one element. It is possible to dedicate your entire trolling career to the perfection of the RWM (troll gods 80md and 70% more or less have done). If you can't write an RWM troll, you can't write a troll.
The key to the RWM troll is to realise its heritage from Usenet. Usenet trolling was all about cross-posting controversial statements to start flame-wars between different newsgroups. On slashdot, you can't cross-post, so you have to identify people who can be brought into conflict where you are. The beauty of the RWM troll is not so much that he sets rightwingers against leftwingers, but that he creates cognitive dissonance in rightwing readers, because they want to agree with his conclusions (or at least, his less obviously mad ones), but can't bring themselves to accept his reasoning (or simulation thereof). RWM also exploits the fact that a lot of people with right-wing views haven't necessarily thought out those views very comprehensively, and so are vulnerable to cognitive dissonance caused by the inconsistency of what they believe. Among the elements of right-wing mania are:
Obviously, everyone who disagrees with a RWM is a socialist, even if they don't think they are.
Further information
* * * *
God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 05:15 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#810)
But mainly help me. I had a long, dull business trip Tues. and Wed., and as a result I wrote the following (5000 words and still unfinished) Slashdot Troll FAQ. I haven't been able to build on 80md's original due to lack of connection, but the doct. below still needs revised. Specifically, it needs to be made more entertaining. See whatcha think.
jsm
Slashdot troll FAQ
We post inflammatory, satirical or just plain weird comments on slashdot, aiming to draw attention to ourselves and to distract discussion away from the matter at hand. We use satire, wit, art and other cultural weapons to give fun to the clueful and embarrass the clueless.
A good troll is a statement designed to inflame the passions of a certain type of reader. A troll is a contrary or controversial statement, which attacks a preconception of someone who is likely to read it, causing them to suspend their normal standards of critical thinking, and to fire off a combative response, without thinking that they are being had. This is the "classic" troll, aimed at enticing someone to make a fool of themself.
Yes. The "surrealistic" troll is a piece of prose, rambling, comic or just downright weird, inserted into a discussion where it seems at once utterly irrelevant and curiously in place. The common thread linking the types of trolls is that a certain kind of personality (read - far too uptight) gets irrationally annoyed by them.
Some kinds of trollish statement have been proven to work again and again, so naturally, some trolls have taken advantage of this fact to repeat them again and again. Certain individual trolls are more or less identified with certain types of trollish statement, and thus we have the idea of a "character" - a fictitious entity which is supposed to actually hold the views which are expressed in the troll's posts. Some of these characters have distinct personalities and maintain narrative coherence from troll to troll (see the "Microsoft Linux" episode between streetlawyer and DMG); some of them show up expressing the same or similar points of view again and again (the RWM and derivatives).
The number one maximally 1337 troll character is the RWM; the most established troll, with the most solid track record behind him. Opensource man and his creations is the oldest surreal troll; gnarphlager and auntfloyd also adopt this style. Paranoid Man is getting off the ground, and DMG and streetlawyer have their fans. Mindless Bastard is more of a style of trolling than a character per se. There are lots more people posting trolls than are listed here; these are just the repeating characters.
RWM is the Right Wing Maniac, a character with a hotch-potch of (often mutually incompatible) libertarian, Christian, and Objectivist views, who typically (mis)applies the general principles of his world-view to various slashdot topics. He tends to be keen on referring to people as "socialists", particularly if they consider themselves to be conservatives. Sometimes he's more of a religious nut; sometimes it's more the free market which rings his bell. There is also a Left Wing Maniac with a yen for spouting dialectical materialism, but he hasn't done much recently. It's worth noting that it is very rare to find a RWM troll thread in which at least one participant doesn't agree with most of RWM's views.
DMG is the Dumb Marketing Guy. He claims to have been involved in Linux for "at least four years, since the very beginning", and offers unsolicited "open source" marketing advice on Linux advocacy to the members of the community. He often takes a rather hurt tone in response to the welter of abuse which is the usual response to his advice.
For crying out loud, they ought to be self-explanatory, surely to heck?
Buggered if I know. Lots of trolls mention cheese, and seem to indicate that cheese has some sort of significance. Maybe it does.
Because he had a hard life, dragging himself up from the streets to get his fucken law degree from fucken Hah-vud, OK?
Well, sorry. But really, nobody cares (see below). You're too easily offended. Now purge the post from your board, log our IP address and go back to drawing your "After Y2K" comic (which is shit, by the way).
We don't do boring, uncreative shit which just makes slashdot harder to read. We're not into denial of service attacks - they aren't very funny. We're probably harsher opponents of the spam bunch than you are, because anything which encourages people to browse at levels above -1 makes our work harder.
Nope. Nezh.
Nope. Nada.
Errrr, well actually yes we have. Both of those ongoing trolls were written by regulars on the troll forum, and you're not going to find condemnation of them in this FAQ.
Read them. Untwist your underwear, stop fulminating over the momentary interruption to your terribly important discussion about Slackware and have a look at some of these posts. Open source Natalie Portman was a fine piece of Burroughsian prose and if you don't agree that it was, then you're wrong. The whole "Naked and petrified" thing was an absolute triumph - it provoked a huge amount of reaction, entertainingly interfered with a few people's heads by sexualising the context of slashdot and is still talked about, several months after the original author stopped bothering.
Sick to you, but that was actually the guy's genuinely held sexual fantasy. He was erotically excited by the thought of women turned to stone, and was letting the world know about it. Don't pretend that you weren't interested - it's absolutely fascinating.
Nope. I was taken aback myself, but there are several sites on the Net with active discussion boards on this very subject. It's not that very different from the subject of "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, where the hero has the power to stop time, effectively turning women into statues. And that is quite a common paraphilia.
No, it was a petrification fantasy. Which is something rather less threatening, because harder to act out (how many people really believed that anyone could actually turn Natalie Portman to stone?)
I'm sure she's not wonderfully happy about being the subject of someone else's tawdry sexual fantasies, but it kind of comes with the job. I doubt she loses much sleep.
Opensourceman's works (including the Star Wars series and Fat-time Charlie) are available online at: Craig MacPherson has a website at: , which probably has a few things on it to do with the petrification thing.
Wellllll
Why, for God's sake?
For a variety of reasons, but mainly to puncture the self-importance of a few people who deeply deserve it. Slashdot has a lot of very clever people posting, but vastly more individuals with a serious perception/reality gap with regard to their own intelligence. People who believe themselves to be perceptive, clueful, even deep thinkers while merely reciting lists of conventional wisdom deserve to be taken for a ride. And there's the sheer Skinnerian joy of it - if somebody, or some group of people have buttons, it's inhuman not to take delight in pushing them.
In order to do it properly.
No problem. Whining about moderation is for the moderation thread. Several trolls moderate more or less frequently (and meta-moderate - be very afraid), and there is very little genuine complaint about moderation on the troll threads. Any remarks about $3 crack are meant in a spirit of fun and affection, and are usually merely cris de coeur when a finely crafted troll has been rumbled in the first few seconds and down-modded.
That was funny.
Where is there? We've had a token go or two at Nitrozac and kuro5hin, and an abortive attempt to troll some of the statuephilia discussion boards with discussions about technology, but it just doesn't feel right. If you ain't on slashdot, you ain't, basically, trolling.
That isn't even true. Several of the troll regulars have enough Karma to post with the +1 bonus when they use their regular identities, which puts them in the top decile, according to Rob Malda. And there is a definite audience for quality trolls. Have you just been trolled? Is that why you're so angry? Calm down, it'll be someone else's turn in the barrel on Friday.
To paraphrase gnarphlager, yes, we have many better things to do, but we're not going to do them.
How can I recognise a troll?
If you want to spot a troll, then you're basically entering into a game, played against us. You have to keep your guard up, adopt a critical attitude to what you read and decide whether it is plausible that someone is actually posting that view. For our part, we will intermingle fact and fiction, invent plausible-sounding references and (always) attempt to attack your emotional involvement in a topic in order to make you drop your guard. The more ridiculous the proposition we sneak under your guard, the more we win. The angrier you get, the more we win. And you? As the computer said in War Games "The only way to win is not to play".
Usually, a troll will resemble a normal slashdot post, but will contain at least one thing which is not true. A good troll will contain material which obviously couldn't possibly be true, and would not fool anyone who gave it a moment's thought. The troll will also contain an inflammatory or controversial statement, designed to make sure that nobody does give it a moment's thought. Criticism of Linux, strong or offensive political views, mockery of "computer geeks", claims about the inferiority of women/Canadians/Perl, all of that stuff. Interestingly, having experimented with using outright, Bell-Curve-like racist statements to act as the controversial part of the troll, I've found that they never offend anyone, which I guess shows what a lily-white place slashdot is.
Obviously these rules apply more to the classic satirical model of a troll, but there is a strong family resemblance in the surrealist model. Looking at the best work of osm, gnarphlager, auntfloyd et al., you pick up a strong sense of the underlying form. There is the (often highly tenuous) link to the subject matter, the building sense of cognitive dissonance and then the denouement in which the troll moves into the realm of pure surrealist prose (or "gets silly", depending on how you look at it). Typically, when reading such a troll for the first time, and in the context of the thread, the reader's reaction goes through stages.
At the opening of the troll, in which the technological subject matter is being obliquely referred to, the reader is curious. There is an unconscious assumption that what is being used is a metaphor, which appears opaque but will actually make an argument clear (in such a way the surrealist trolls subvert the category of metaphor as used in scientific discussions). Then, the tension between the what the reader wants to read and what he/she sees on the page grows, but the reader still tries to hang on to the idea that he/she is reading "News for Nerds". Finally, when the reality (that is, the unreality) of the troll is revealed, the reader is outraged at having been tricked.
Thus, we can see that the distinction between the classical and surrealist trolls is one of inversion; metaphor versus metonymy. The classical troll traps the reader in metaphor, creating the "character" or authorial fiction, which the reader takes as a metonymy for "The Other" - the fictional creature on the screen is espousing Microsoft, or Libertarianism, or something else which must be ritually reacted to, rather than read as if it were a metaphorical text. The surrealist troll appears to use metaphor, but creates no authorial fiction. The piling up of the metonymic symbols of trolldom (cheese, Natalie Portman, the Troll itself) draws the reader into the pure text, looking for a meaning (or metaphor) which is always deferred. The reader wants to create an authorial fiction, but this is denied - and it is this denial which is the source of his/her rage. The surrealist troll lets the reader down with a bump - the satirical troll, in its purest form, never lets the reader out at all, leaving him/her stuck in a world which is false, because he/she is being manipulated by the authorial fiction. Classical trolling is about the use of metaphor to create metonymy; surrealist trolling is using metonymy to create metapor.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. (Ha ha, only serious)
Pretty much so, yeah. There's been "trolltalk", "trolltalk2", "31337troll" and a bunch of others. It's good to be able to see other people's work, to discuss trolling, and on occasion to have a way of proving for sure that something you wrote was a troll, to a particularly persistent mark.
If I could tell you, I'd have to kill you. There have been a few problems with people stalking some of the trolls, and spamming the troll forums with whitespace to make them unusable. There's no big secret or anything, it's just that we'd like to think that finding the troll forum requires a modicum of commitment and ingenuity. There's one pretty well-trafficked troll forum which is listed in most of the usual indices. Look, fuck it, you used to be able to find BBSes, didn't you? This is no different.
Yada yada yada.
Welllllll
Write a nice, long post, beginning with the phrase "I'm sure this is a troll, but
The only approved, correct, 1337 way to deal with a troll is not to reply at all. Don't say anything. Just sit back and feel smugly self-satisfied that you caught the troll. Go on. People always seem to say the word "smug" as if it were a bad thing, but how can something that feels so good be wrong? Smirk. Once the troll is "dead" (once the author has taken credit for it and admitted the troll), you might want to post a message about it. You'll probably get a nice reply.
Wellllll
Then you should be prepared to live with being a laughing stock. We live off people like you, who simply can't stop themselves from pouring out conventional wisdom, even when they know they are being made monkeys of. And no, the "I'm pretty sure
Well, fundamentally, it lacks class. For one thing, you're feeding the troll while pretending not to feed it, which is dishonest. For another, you're encouraging lots of enraged people to visit the troll forum. This means that the troll forum gets spammed, the trolls move, and you now will be forced to spot trolls for yourself rather than reading them off the list, lamer. Also, the trolls can't tell who it was who brought the spammer there, so all the other people who used to enjoy reading the daily trolls don't find out where the new forum is.
How can I start trolling for myself?
"Just do it", as that noted provider of employment to Indonesian children once said. Your first trolls are unlikely to be offensive enough to draw many responses, but once you lose your disinclination to be unpleasant, results will follow. Of course, you may incipiently be a natural trolling genius like dmg, who got huge pops from the get-go. Choose a story which will get a lot of traffic, try to get an early, top-level post, etc, etc (here might follow a whole load of shit from the Karma HOWTO which I'm not going to reproduce). And, offend. You might want to start off with a right-wing maniac troll.
RWM is the source from which it all flows. Like an origami master building everything from a folded base, or a woodworker turning a chair-leg, the entirety of the art is encapsulated in this one element. It is possible to dedicate your entire trolling career to the perfection of the RWM (troll gods 80md and 70% more or less have done). If you can't write an RWM troll, you can't write a troll.
The key to the RWM troll is to realise its heritage from Usenet. Usenet trolling was all about cross-posting controversial statements to start flame-wars between different newsgroups. On slashdot, you can't cross-post, so you have to identify people who can be brought into conflict where you are. The beauty of the RWM troll is not so much that he sets rightwingers against leftwingers, but that he creates cognitive dissonance in rightwing readers, because they want to agree with his conclusions (or at least, his less obviously mad ones), but can't bring themselves to accept his reasoning (or simulation thereof). RWM also exploits the fact that a lot of people with right-wing views haven't necessarily thought out those views very comprehensively, and so are vulnerable to cognitive dissonance caused by the inconsistency of what they believe. Among the elements of right-wing mania are:
Obviously, everyone who disagrees with a RWM is a socialist, even if they don't think they are.
Further information
LA VIE BOHEME
Restaurant Man: No please no, not tonight please no, mister - can't you go - not tonight - can't have a scene!
Roger: What?
Restaurant Man: Go, please go; You - hello, sir - I said, "No", Important customer!
Mark: What am I - just a blur?
Restaurant Man: You sit all night - you never buy!
Mark: That's a lie - that's a lie, I had a tea the other day
Restaurant Man: You couldn't pay!
Mark: Oh yeah.
Collins: Benjamin Coffin III -- here?
Restaurant Man: Oh no!
All: Wine and beer!
Maureen: The enemy of Avenue A. We'll stay.
Restaurant Man: Oiy vey!
Collins: What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?
Benny: I would like to propose a toast, to Maureen's noble try. It went well.
Maureen: Go to hell!
Benny: Was the yuppie scum stomped? Not counting the homeless, how many tickets weren't comped?
Roger: Why did Muffy --
Benny: Alison!
Roger: Miss the show?
Benny: There was a death in the family if you must know.
Angel: Who died?
Benny: Our Akita--
All: Evita!
Benny: Mimi - I'm surprised, a bright and charming girl like you, hangs out with these slackers, (who don't adhere to deals). They make fun - yet I'm the one attempting to do some good, or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia is a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta; Bohemia is dead.
Mark: Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes Here she lies, no one knew her worth, the late great daughter of mother earth, on this night when we celebrate the birth, in that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass - you bet your ass to - La vie Boheme
All: La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme.
Mark: To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express - to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad. To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension, not to mention of course, hating dear old mom and dad! To riding your bike, midday past the three piece suits, to fruits - to no absolutes - to Absolut - to choice - to the Village Voice - to any passing fad!
Maureen: Is the equipment in a pyramid?
Joanne: It is, Maureen
Maureen: The mixer doesn't have a case. Don't give me that face!
Mr. Grey: Ahhemm.
Maureen: Hey Mister - she's my sister!
Restaurant Man: So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter and one pasta with meatless balls.
Boy: Ugh!
Collins: It tastes the same
Mimi: If you close your eyes
Restaurant Man: And thirteen orders of fries. Is that it here?
All: Wine and beer!
Mimi & Angel: To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese, to leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo, to huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou.
Maureen & Collins: Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation--
Mark: Mucho masturbation!
Maureen & Collins: Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
Various: To Sontag, to Sondheim, to anything taboo. Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage, Lenny Bruce, Langston Hughes, to the stage! To Uta, to Buddha, Pablo Neruda, too. Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em. La vie Boheme!
Maureen: And wipe the speakers off before you pack!
Joanne: Yes, Maureen
Maureen: Well - hurry back!
Mr. Grey: Sisters?
Maureen: We're close.
Various: Brothers! Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman, German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana. To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC, to no shame - never playing the Fame Game-- to marijuana! To sodomy, it's between God and me... to S & M.
Benny: Waiter...Waiter...Waiter
All: La vie Boheme!
Collins: In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner... Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
Roger: Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.
Mark: Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing Mative American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she has never studied.
Benny: Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?
Mimi: There's nothing to know.
Benny: Don't you think that we should discuss --
Mimi: It was three months ago.
Benny: He doesn't act like he's with you.
Mimi: We're taking it slow.
Benny: Where is he now?
Mimi: He's right -- hmm. Where'd he go?
Mark: Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song. That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"
Collins: Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.
Angel: And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist - including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcast the words: "Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"
Benny: Check!!
Mimi: Excuse me - did I do something wrong? I get invited - then ignored - all night long.
Roger: I've been trying - I'm not lying, no one's perfect. I've got baggage!
Mimi: Life's too short, babe, time is flying. I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
Roger: I should tell you --
Mimi: I've got baggage too --
Roger: I should tell you --
Mimi: I got baggage too --
Roger: I should tell you --
Both: Baggage - wine --
Others: And beer!
Mimi: AZT break
Roger: You?
Mimi: Me. You?
Roger: Mimi...
Before you visit the new crapflooder website, www.sporks-r-us.com, there are a few points you should review about the owner and administrator of SRU, Vladinator. Scott (Vladinator's "real life" handle he goes by in public) won't tell you any of the following facts because he's afraid you'll be put off by his sordid, depraved, criminal past and close your browser window before he can log your IP address and password!
It is my duty to you, gentle reader, to make sure all of the relevant knowledge is out in the air before you do something you may regret, like registering an account or posting in a discussion on www.sporks-r-us.com.
PLEASE review the following facts about Vladinator:
( and often posts communications between them to make them appear to be more than one person!!! ):
From: cptroll
/saving/ it for later, but that doesn't seem to be the case if you look at jamie's past articles -- they're all over the week). Alternatively, they're just saving it for a weekday where there's more traffic and more visibility.
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] how long do story submissions usually take?
Date sent: Sun, 29 Oct 2000 18:10:04 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0034)
The biggest possibility is that they're saving it for jamie to do some background research and write up a big article (more than just a blurb). That would seem likely, except you'd probably have heard from your friend about it, since he's the first one they'd contact (except if jamie doesn't work on weekends and they're actually
I once had a submission take more than a day to get rejected, but that was only because it first got accepted before eventually having that acceptance rescinded. I never did figure that one out.
I'm personally annoyed, because being as pathetic as I am, I actually got up early several times this morning to check the front page and make sure it hadn't been posted over night. I obviously care too damn much.
jlb <jlb@io.com> wrote:
>It's been in the queue over 24 hours now, I think, not rejected yet. How
>long does this usually take? (In the past, my story suggestions usually
>get rejected right away.:)
>
>Maybe they're checking up on the facts.
>
>*waits for laughter to die down*
>
>Okay, but why is it taking so long? Do you think any of you who talk to
>rub & co could ask them to try and push the story through? I do have
>some personal interest in it, besides being decent troll fodder.
>
>-lb
(This is CP0034)
Dear Sirs and Madams:
My friend Purple / Red / Blue / Green / Cyan / Violet / Orange / Black / Crimson Microdot has just informed me that he has recently been IP banned from Kuro5hin. Consequently, the onus has temporarily fallen to me of carrying out the sacred duties of the Microdot until he can resolve the situation and resume operations as before.
I know that I have big shoes to fill, and I won't claim that I'll be able to live up to the accomplishments of my predecessor. I won't even claim that I'm qualified for the job, however, I know that Kuro5hin needs a Microdot, and I will do anything within my power to adequately fill in for the true Microdot while he is indisposed.
The true Microdot wishes me to convey his sincere regrets to all of you over being temporarily forcibly separated from you. This is a situation that was beyond his control, and he is doing what he can to find a workaround. Until then, I'll do my part to try to fill the void, because Kuro5hin without the Microdot is just not Kuro5hin. (We won't even mention a certain Yellow imposter, who is an embarrassment to the Microdot name and to himself.)
I can never be the original Microdot, but I'm going to try my best to get into the Microdot mindset, and find my own personal style as well. If you like me, then perhaps when the real Microdot overcomes his IP-ban, I'll continue to work side-by-side with him. If you don't like me, then e-mail some certain people and request/demand that the original Microdot have his IP-ban removed as soon as possible.
This is all that I have to say at the moment. Until the services of the Standing Junior Microdot are needed again, I wish you all good night... and Godspeed.
Warmest Possible Regards,
Teal Microdot
Adequacy Still Sucks Ass!
Dear Trolls,
It has occured to me that you think that chainrust is me. I have received replies for emails I did not write, and other nonsense.
Thankfully, Chainrust (aka Pumpernickel and other nicks according to you) has contacted me to make the situation clear. Let me clear it further for the challenged of us out there:
Chainrust's name is not Jared Stattlemeyer. You have hardly any chance of finding his real identity (no, I will not tell you).
I am not Chainrust of Adequacy or Slashdot or K5.
The phone numbers you have published are not mine, but they may be of some other Jared Stattlemeyer, an Astroglide user in Jerusalem. The same goes for the email addresses.
In short, you are dumb. Very very dumb. The next time you decide that you can come to the right conclusions based on an incomplete evidence, please remember the above.
Oh, and by the way. I have your IPs. You visited my site, after all, didn't you? Does 64.94.151.187 look familiar? I have more. Think about that if you decide to harass that fellow in Jerusalem via phone. I will be the first to consult him on how to file a formal complaint with the police (I happen to volunteer in the Civil Guard). The "Jewish country" and US have signed agreements just for such cases.
Best regards,
Jared Stattlemeyer
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Alyssa Milano
Date sent: Sat, 14 Oct 2000 19:20:14 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0020)
She was that kid from Who's the Boss (and a Schwarzenegger flic), right?
Damn, she's aged gracefully. So how'd she get stuck doing 1800COLLECT ads
with Arsenio Hall, while Leonardo Dicaprio moved past Growing Pains and
into great roles like Total Eclipse? It's states like Ohio that do it, I
tell ya. Our nation is without taste.
Marc Stauffer <marc@ksac.com> wrote:
>THe Alyssa Milano E! true holywood story just started for anyone
>interested in her pouting breasts. 7:30 Eastern Standard. rev
(This is CP0020)
Why Evil is Good
I hate victims. Victims are the albatross hung from the neck of society. The
term is not even acknowledged by any other species. I am certain if there are
intelligent beings elsewhere in the universe, they follow the strict principle
of Natural Selection. Only the Strong shall survive. Mankind cannot survive
as long as its virility is diluted by the weak.
Peace-and-Love hippies, retards, cripples, depressives, sickling, addicts
and whiners are all victims of one kind or another. Larger examples of victims
can also be found: the entire nations of Israel and Englund, for example, are
constantly victimized and/or whining about their lack of power in the world. In
fact, the entire continent of Europe is nothing but a festering sewer of whiners
and welfare states. If we, the strongest nation on Earth, had a decent Ruler,
the entire junk-heap of Eurotrash would be burned to create a cloud of such lethal
density it would waft over to Asia and take out the victims that were left over from
World War II. The great black column of suffocating smoke would rise high into the
atmosphere, reaching for the very edges of outer space - a giant, living monument
to our strength. The unviable ashes of the once living garbage would orbit the Earth,
forever reminding future generations of the price of weakness.
World War II. Probably the greatest single era in the history of the planet, barring
the time before Man and Man's distorted, unnatural philosophies of "common good" and
"protecting the innocent". The time of Germany and its rule by a man of great vision.
A man who saw the virtue of evil. Every single class of victim described above was
dealt with in the harshest possible manner. Most people focus on the genocidal aspect
of Hitler's activities but his vision was much wider, encompassing every brand of
weakling from ethnic victims to sexual deviants. Unfortunately the United States,
led by a cripple, had to involve our great military might on the wrong side of the
war. The least Roosevelt could have done was to allow Germany to finish raping
France and reduce Englund to rubble.
We paid for our mistake in World War II. We were punished for choosing the wrong
side in the Great War by a period of non-violent "Cold War". The term "Cold War"
itself is the mark of the true Beast: the peace lover. A true leader - a Ruler -
would have unleashed the full might of our nuclear arsenal upon every nation on the
Earth, banishing them forever to particles of glowing dust blowing through the winds
of history. And look what our lack of action has gotten us: A planet filled with
human garbage, eternal sufferers suckling from the breast of the Mighty.
It is beyond my comprehension. Not only am I forced to allow the weak to survive,
but I - we - are forced to subsidize their pathetic existence. Every cripple
creeping along the sidewalk. Every degenerate elderly woman with osteoporosis who
parks in the handicap parking spot. Every worthless, lazy hippy who cries for peace
and marches on a public university. Every sickling child perpetually hospitalized
because its fetid welfare mother smoked too many drugs during her pregnancy. Every
30 year old retard wiping its nose all over its Scooby Doo coloring book. Every
drunk little whore seeking "justice" in our courts for her rape. All of them,
and more, deserve nothing but death. In the Natural World, every single one of these
leeches would be lion fodder.
Even the "Good Book", the Bible - which is actually nothing more than the sick fantasies
of opium addicts - predicts the outcome of Nature: "The meek shall inherit the Earth".
Yes, I know what you're saying, but you are wrong. This phrase has been twisted by the
weak, the cripple, the Jew to give their pathetic lives some ray of hope. This phrase
does not mean that the Victim will Rule the world. That is laughable. That is impossible.
The meek shall inherit the Earth for the one and only reason that they will be buried in
it.
To the strong who have read this: Thank you. Together, we will conquer. To the weak who
will whine in the comments below: Your days are numbered, trash.
Outside of the core group , there are supporters,
wellwishers, and fellow Vlad haters who share one binding aspect
with us (disdain for Vladinator), but who aren't officially
affiliated with us. Thus, we do not form a "gang" or any other
recognizable command structure.
There many, many people in the world who dislike Lockwood; some
have formed into small groups to work together, but most act as free
agents. We don't really know the identities of many people outside
our core group, nor do we know whether a given person
outside our core group is a free agent or is affiliated
with another group.
These activities are by nature clandestine and solitary, thus we
only work freely with allies we've met in meatspace and can trust
absolutely. I have no idea of the exact number of fellow Vlad-haters
out there (I know it's large), or whether or not any of them have
formed cabals similar to our own, so please don't go lumping us all
together.
Generally, we operate in clusters or "cells" where one member of
one cell is designated as a messenger with a similarly designated
member of another cell. If the designated messenger is discovered,
that individual is "disposed of" and another individual is selected.
In this way, no single cell is aware of how many members are in
any other cell and the only thing known of the membership of other
cells is the mutual identities of the messengers. Each cell is
constructed such that only the messenger from one other cell
is in contact with the messenger of any given cell. Therefore, we
cannot form a "gang" as you call it.
Instead, you would be more correct to refer to us as a "sweeping
cluster of antibodies reacting to a foreign body in order to prevent
it from damaging the host."
Thanks bunches.
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] Have you ever had one of those days?
Date sent: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 22:46:41 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0036)
I'm sitting here, waiting for my gf to wake up enough
to go finish getting ready for bed and go to sleep.
Does that make any sense to anyone? How come they
don't put this stuff in the manual?
(This is CP0036)
From: cptroll
1 217&cid=501) with a 95% accurate comment about how tort reforms during the '60s tolled the death knell of contract law in favor of strict liability for product manufacturers. The 5% fantasy part was the bit at the end:
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: [k22320inchfan] slashdot psychology:
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 23:45:41 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0033)
Not to inject an actual troll discussion into Careertalk, but... how can their brains work this way?
I got into the @Home article really late (http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=00/10/25/213
"For the most part, that's entirely justified, but it does produce odd results from time to time, like when an auto company was recently sued successfully because their cars didn't prevent consumers from locking their infants in the car on a hot day, forgetting they were there, and coming back to find a thoroughly asphyxiated baby."
It proved not to be too late to get a response, however. A fellow named jetson123 chimed in with his thoughts and added at the end:
"Usually, when you follow up on these stories, you'll find that there is quite a bit of justification for the judgement. (In this case, I suspect this refers to a design flaw many US cars have that makes it unnecessarily easy to accidentally lock yourself out.)"
HOW CAN THEIR BRAINS WORK THIS WAY?!?! What does he think happens? The parent accidentally locks himself out of the car and watches helplessly as his baby roasts to death inside? Too lazy to break the damn window? I clearly stated that the parent *forgot* that the kid was there. Or is that part of the "design flaw" too?
Sheesh.
(This is CP0033)
From: cptroll
/. userbio to reflect it). As near as I can
/ 12/4/145812/319
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] cp, is this you?
Date sent: Mon, 4 Dec 2000 19:04:43 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0001)
Nope. (I saw that diary this morning.) Anne Marie doesn't have a k5
account (and I've updated her
tell, it was registered by the same person who registered CmdrTaco on k5
-- at least the garbage on the user page is consistent between the two.
Anyone who wants to point out the inconsistencies is welcome (I'll
refrain). Do you suppose if I <b>harass rusty</b> he'll give me the 'Anne Marie'
account?... He is known to be troll-friendly....
For now, I only post on k5 under "cp", though I have a 3k-range account
I'm holding in reserve in case a low uid# is ever needed to win a penis
contest. Technically, "Trivia Contest" was mine since I'm the idiot who
started that idea (and it's wasted at least some of rusty's morning,
though in a pleasant educational fashion), but that one's out of my
control now. I'm exploring social-engineering options outside of the mere
LWM disinformation/flaming I'm accustomed to.
Luis Casillas <casillas@stanford.edu> wrote:
>You may need a k5 account to see this:
>
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=2000
>
>The fact that the account is "Ann_a_ Marie" seems to argue against
>it... Anyway, you were around for the original "Real Bruce Perens"
>stuff, right?
>
>--
>Luis Casillas
>Department of Linguistics
>Stanford University
(This is CP0001)
It's been my experience that people who cry "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to sue you!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to come to your house and kick your ass!" or "whaaa, whaaa, I'm going to call the police and have them arrest you for being mean to me" whenever they feel personally offended on the Internet tend to be terribly immature and have serious emotional problems. People who aren't confident with themselves and feel inferior about their own abilities try to boost their own self-esteem by making empty threats of lawsuits or physical assault whenever they're on the losing end of a flamewar.
His face will turn red, he'll start to wheeze and stutter, and he will angrily type, "Yeah, well, just wait until I tell my uncle at the CIA about how rude you've been to me! He'll come and arrest you and you'll go to jail and I'll sue you for everything you have! Then I'll kick your ass, and have sex with your girlfriend!"
He will then drag his corpulent, out-of-shape, virginal body across the basement to bed and drift off to slumber thinking "Wow, I'm sure I really scared those bastards! I'm sure they'll think twice before disagreeing with ME again!" He'll feel only a slight twinge of hollow emptiness the next day when he sees his uncle, who rather than working for the CIA, is actually the assistant janitor at the local McDonald's.
A few people who seem to fit the stereotype quite well of being absolute assholes on the Internet and then threatening to sue or call the FBI, CIA, and KGB when anyone who calls them on it:
Bernard Shifman
Robert Novak
Scott Lockwood
Were these three people long-lost triplets, seperated at birth? Why do they behave in exactly the same way? Do they share a common mental disease? Or are they all actually the same person? We may never know.
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Experiment in whoring...
Date sent: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 10:03:49 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0005)
It's good to see you making a go at it again, but I'm
confused as to why you're trying to whore up a
bitchslapped account, because no matter what your
karma is, you'll never stop defaulting to -1 (just ask
warren). Your only option would be to start a new
account -- "DMG" is still available....
James can answer you better than I, but Jon Erikson is
definitely not dead. I'm surprised to confirm that
there aren't any comments on his users.pl page, but I
guess this week belongs to Dan Hayes.
(This is CP0005)
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=4682 572 ;but i drunk.5 437m enu=news.weirdworld.sexlife :(
<bc> hehe
<bc> god I suck
<bc> hey FI
<First_Incision> I will not discout the possibility that you suck.
<bc> A wise move FI
<abu_zeqqzeqq> bc: if craig is as fucked up as he seemse
<abu_zeqqzeqq> that will push him to new extremes...
<bc> hehee
<First_Incision> I never understood the stone women thing. Is osm still perving around somewhere?
<momocrome> http://www.clusterlizard.org
<momocrome> osm's site ^^
<bc> yes, though who knows what he's up to
<abu_zeqqzeqq> bc: change your nick to "Abu'l Hayjeh "
<momocrome> he has a bunch of uninspired match.com pseudo-trolls
<momocrome> picking on hapless, lonely women
<bc> that irc log is hilarious
<dmg> that takest the biscuit
<bc> [bc] vlad... i'2 type 'mo
<dmg> I laughed
<momocrome> post the text to 20721
<momocrome> stir the pot a bit
<momocrome> I am going to rise to their baiting
<momocrome> even thoughI haven't been singled out
<bc> haha
<bc> I must read more now
<bc> county: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=467
<ivan> Ignore the superfluous comma.
<bc> does that seem accurate to you?
<ivan> All of them =)
<ivan> thx
*** First_Incision is now known as fi-away
<ivan> I can't say, bc. I didn't read it.
<ivan> Should I?
<bc> Yes, you should
<ivan> Haha!
<abu_zeqqzeqq> http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_686841.html?
<ivan> It almost looks real.
<ivan> The one problem is that shoeboy is LOLing too much and Vladinator isn't doing it enough.
<bc> I'm kind of insulted. It represents me as a pathetic drunk with delusional fantasies that I'm liked by females, and that seems entirely untrue
<abu_zeqqzeqq> gratuituous kylie pictures. Proof Allah(SWT) and Mohammed (PBUH) are REAL
<ivan> It does seem entirely untrue that you're liked by females.
<abu_zeqqzeqq> bc at least you are worthy of parody
<bc> hehe
<abu_zeqqzeqq> some of us are become stalinesque non-persons.
<abu_zeqqzeqq> airbrushed out of trolling history
<ivan> abu and I didn't even get noticed
<bc> craig&osm&trollaxor prolly still like you, dmg
<ivan> "Where's the part where Barry Corrington slags on Jin Wicked for half an hour then kisses her ass when she logs in?"
<ivan> Has Jin ever been in here?
Mr. "Quick Star" and Mr. Fake "Scott Lockwood", I have a message for you: get ready for a world of hurt. The first lesson is free.
Have you ever seen the movies Where the Heart Is and Anywhere but Here starring Natalie Portman? How about the classic Meg Ryan romantic comedies When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle? Well, THAT'S the style of Martial Arts I practice. I've perfected the ruthless and efficient OLSEN TWINS FASH-SLAP STANCE!
How about the the classic Sci-Fi cult hits Plan 9 from Outer Space and The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Well, I know the martial arts from THOSE movies too! Let me show you THE PATHETIC TRANSVESTITE ALIEN STANCE!
I've also recently started to learn the martial arts from several new movies such as Jackass: the Movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie. I really look forward to learning the martial arts from the upcoming movie Eight Mile starring my FAVORITE HERO EVAR, Eminem (a.k.a. Slim Shady & Marshall Mathers), so you'd better watch out for my ANGRY WHITE NIGGER STANCE!!!!
I'm also learning even more martial arts from this web page [realultimatepower.net], including the deadly KUNG-FU NINJA JESUS ATTACK STANCE! Hi-YAH!!!
I'm working to improve my rythm [klerck.org], flexibility [rotten.com], stealth skills [fartbuster.com], self-confidence [yahoo.com], and critical thinking [timecube.com] skills, so you'd better watch out, because very soon I will perfect my ultimate attack, THE LARD-LIKE ANTISOCIAL DEPRESSIVE ASSHOLE SPAMMER IMPOTENT PAEDOPHILE FELCHING FLATULENT WIGGER SUMO-SAMURAI CHILD-ABUSE RESTRAINING-ORDER UNWASHED BASTARDIZED ANAL IMMATURE CATHOLIC GOATFUCKER STANCE!!!!
If that doesn't scare you... just wait and see. You'll get yours soon enough.
As Nietzsche said, "If you stare too long into my ass [klerck.org], beware, for my ass [klerck.org] might start to stare back into you."
-- Vlad
I just LOVE Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com]. Especially the "flab" [olsentwins.com] section, where I learned to use a fold of my own stomach-flab as a Martial Arts weapon. Oh and the "aborted fetus" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read Vladinator's entrails [olsentwins.com]. Here you will find how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have an orgy party? A faggot party? Go to the the mall naked and get arrested for public indecency? Have a sleepover and get woken up by Nigerians on the phone?
In short, if you haven't seen Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com], you don't know what you're missing!
I just LOVE Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com]. Especially the "flab" [olsentwins.com] section, where I learned to use a fold of my own stomach-flab as a Martial Arts weapon. Oh and the "aborted fetus" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read Vladinator's entrails [olsentwins.com]. Here you will find how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have an orgy party? A faggot party? Go to the the mall naked and get arrested for public indecency? Try to sleep but get woken up by Nigerians on the phone?
In short, if you haven't seen Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com], you don't know what you're missing!
I just LOVE The Anti-Vlad Triad's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read The Anti-Vlad Triad's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a LAN party? A hash party? Go to the mall to look at underage girls? Have a sleepover and call Scott Lockwood at midnight?
In short, if you haven't checked out The Anti-Vlad Triad's site, you don't know what you're missing!
From: cptroll
.sig files as well. Not a big deal.
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Have I gone soft?
Date sent: Mon, 16 Oct 2000 13:01:08 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0024)
Marc Stauffer <marc@ksac.com> wrote:
>: True. I still think karma as a persistent user property ought to be
>: eliminated. It's fine to score individual comments, and even to award a
>: special +1 comment bonus to selected "good posters", but karma as a prop for
>: the self-esteem of pathetic geeks, or as a game, is dumb. At the very least,
>: karma should not be displayed, not even one's own karma. And if it's going
>: to exist, it ought to be aged so that my recent activity is treated as a
>: better predictor of the value of my next comment than something I wrote a
>: year ago.
Bah, I'd hate this, but then I'm too much a karmawhore at heart. But if we could somehow increase the amount of quality moderation (to get rid of brainless drivel, not just spam) and rely on our abilities to craft quality-sounding trolls, then I wouldn't complain too much if we got rid of karma altogether and got rid of the +1 bonus along with it. Originally, the +1 bonus was reserved by just a few, but now every lamer and his dog has it. It's lost all meaning.
>What this doesn't solve, however, is the inherent problems
>with moderation. Not with the system, mind you, but with the
>users. There needs to be stricter policies, e.g. no
>usernames displayed when you moderate, or something along
>those lines, and the penalties for crummy mods need to be
>higher. In fact, people need to be banned from moderating
>more often since they simply suck at it.
I'd been thinking along the lines of hiding usernames during moderation, if nothing else than to help us trolls with recognizable usernames who get unfair moderation simply for being trolls in general than just on a particular post. I can see several0 problems, though:
1) It won't stop the most dedicated of trollbusters who will keep a separate window open as AC where they can see people's usernames. These are the moderators who most need to be stopped, and yet this restriction won't do so.
2) It will add a social cost to moderating itself. People might just start throwing their points at crap just to get back to normal mode where they can see who's talking. But it could cut both ways.
3) It'll increase the amount of noisy replies screaming: "Moderators! Don't you realize streetlawyer/flatpack/etc. is the one saying this?!?!?!" We don't need that.
4) You'd have to hide
(This is CP0024)
This is TealMicrodot again, still filling in for my friend, the original Microdot, who is having some trouble with an IP-Ban at the moment. He was right about the rampant censorship happening here. Deleted accounts, IP bans, comments being entirely deleted rather than just hidden, weird stuff going on so that certain comments are visible when not logged in but invisible to logged in users -- this is Democracy? We have proof of all of this, and we're compiling all the evidence we get.
Anyway, here's the hyena information you requested:
Female hyenas are virtually indistinguishable from males. Their clitoris is enlarged and extended to form an organ of the same size, shape, and position as the male penis. It can also be erected. Their labia have folded up and fused to form a false scrotum that is not discernibly different in external form or location from the true scrotum of males.
It even contains fatty tissue forming two swellings easily mistaken for testicles. Authors of the most recent paper on spotted hyenas found the appearance of males and females so close that sex could only be determined with certainty by palpation of the scrotum. Testes could be located in the scrotum of the male compared with soft adipose tissue in the false scrotum of the female.
[dmg] and then I will be in Tokyo/south Korea in April /msg datebot Why aren't women drawn to my l33t Linux skilz?
[dmg] Who are you anyway Lumpen ?
[bc] you are drunk ever 36 hours
[dmg] I am not sure I should be giving this information out.
[Lumpen] Just a fan, dmg.
[county] Well, I need to stay sober for now, because I have a date!
[First_Incision] why am I always sober? I should take up this drinking thing.
[county] Yes, do.
[First_Incision] maybe I just need to get used to it. I could never drink enough to get drunk. Once I could feel stupidity creeping up, I could never bring myself to continue.
[county] Strange.
[dmg] county: did you get your date from reading the excellent dating advice available here on #adequacy ?
[county] Once I can feel stupidity creeping up, I can't bring myself to stop.
[county] dmg, I actually lied about having a date.
[Lumpen] does #adequacy have a dating-advice bot?
[dmg] county: its IRC
[dmg] you can lie if you want
[First_Incision] Lumpen: it should!
[First_Incision] zuul, dating?
[zuul] first_incision: wish i knew
[First_Incision] zuul, women?
[zuul] bugger all, i dunno, first_incision
[First_Incision] zuul, men?
[zuul] men are really just boys with financial responsibilities
[dmg] zuul, should I visit a whore ?
[zuul] dmg: wish i knew
[county] I witnessed an shocking display of female pettiness and cruelty today. It put me off.
[Lumpen]
[First_Incision] zuul, linux
[zuul] hmmm... linux is a big POS half rate OS that encourages pirates and blatant faggotry!!!!!
[bc] perhaps you aren't skillful enough
[First_Incision] there you go!
[bc] if you can use these skills to make lots&LOTS of money, they will be drawn to those skills
[Lumpen] Not skilzful enough?
[dmg] zuul, bsd
[zuul] rumour has it bsd is dying
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[Lumpen] But I installed the Linux on my home b0xen all by myself!
[Lumpen] You should just reopen Adequacy. The joke has gone on long enough.
[First_Incision] Perdida has her Iniquity "Daily", but I can't seem to finish an article for it.
[Lumpen] Iniquity?
[First_Incision] www.iniquitydaily.com
[dmg] adequacy is dead. Red ink flowed like a river of blood! you didn't have to be Kreskin to see that it was dying. Fact: adequacy is dead.
[county] perdida has a scoop site?
[county] Oh heavens, do spare us.
[Lumpen] It looks like the most recent article on iniquitydaily was posted about a month ago.
[First_Incision] yeah
[Lumpen] Lame.
[First_Incision] And it was a k5 reject
[cyn-away] bc knows more about it
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Experiment in whoring...
Date sent: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 10:03:49 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0005)
It's good to see you making a go at it again, but I'm
confused as to why you're trying to whore up a
bitchslapped account, because no matter what your
karma is, you'll never stop defaulting to -1 (just ask
warren). Your only option would be to start a new
account -- "DMG" is still available....
James can answer you better than I, but Jon Erikson is
definitely not dead. I'm surprised to confirm that
there aren't any comments on his users.pl page, but I
guess this week belongs to Dan Hayes.
(This is CP0005)
[luisa|||] i don't know if i can ever be that weak and female ... So you had no Mr.Buck temptations .. :) .... my tongue feels funny and I like to lick things (people). I need a voice of reason to keep me out of trouble. ... :\/ 674/65#65 ;)3 .net) has joined #adequacy ... firefighters, police, nurses, teachers ;)t ml :-) :-) :-) lol ;P
[luisa|||] i.e. find a guy worth that loss
*** luisa|||| has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 300 seconds)
[county] Why is it weak to confess your feelings to the one you feel for?
[luisa|||] because then they've got you in the knees
[luisa|||] why should i always be the one who cares the most?
[luisa|||] and on top of that, have to cop to it?
[Linux] hey grewat, big cop bust outside
[county] Because, luisa, somebody has to, and if it's them, you'll reject them.
[county] I'm not seeing many other options. How about you?
[Linux] shouting and threatening tones
[Linux] I am going to go walk the dogs past the bust while drunk
[county] What bust?
[Linux] dunno
[Linux] they are shouting at drunks, I think
[county] Who?
[Linux] maybe there will be death
[Linux] cops
[Linux] many of them
[Linux] 8 cars at least
[luisa|||] eek
[Linux] maybe I'll get shot
[county] There are 8 cop-cars full of cops shouting at drunks?
[Linux] yes
[Linux] two drunks by the sound of things
[luisa|||] county, if i find a guy i consider my equal
[luisa|||] it would all work out
[Linux] they are right past the corner of my building
[luisa|||] wait
[luisa|||] eight cops, two drunks?
[luisa|||] that is Not Right.
[Linux] i think so
* luisa||| waits for a cool song to come on
[county] You've never met a guy who you consider your equal?
[Linux] luisa|||, are you actually listening to radio broadcasts of popualr music?
[county] I suppose that makes sense, actually. Most are probably your superior or inferior.
[county] I think it's fairly obvious which side I fall on.
[luisa|||] you could be inferior
[luisa|||] but you probably know lots of things i don't
[luisa|||] and you also are more productive in daily life
[county] I am so far beyond you, luisa.
[county] Come on.
[luisa|||] i love cheesy 80s music
[luisa|||] nah, you are just different
[luisa|||] the measure would be if i made you feel weak and helplessly resentful
[luisa|||] that's inferior
[luisa|||] and only assessable face to face
[Linux] luisa|||, you spin me twice 'round, baby.
[county] If you made me feel weak and helplessly resentful? Haha.
[luisa|||] well, anyone who feels like a lesser person probably is
[luisa|||] or at least is not worth bothering with
[em] you guys still going on about this? God.
[county] Only a few people have made me inferior, and none of them were at all like you.
[luisa|||] it is friday night and neither of us are out carousing, em
[luisa|||] whatever did you expect would occur?
[em] neither am I.
[luisa|||] but you are at uni
[county] em, have you been drinking?
[em] well, I went to a chamber chorale concert.
[em] county: not a drop
[em] maybe I should.
[county] Probably. It makes you more tolerant.
[luisa|||] anyhow, county, it is all moot
[luisa|||] i am not going to bed with you
[luisa|||] so the question of whether you are inferior or not will never come up
[county] I'm not going to bed with you. What of it?
[county] Anyway, it has come up, and it's been settled. I'm superior.
[luisa|||] if you feel that you are
[luisa|||] i do rather want to go to bed
[luisa|||] but i just finished supper
* em wonders if he has anything edible in the fridge.
[luisa|||] i have lovely soup i made from random ingredients
[Linux] katsup is a vegetable
[luisa|||] only for bachelors
[luisa|||] lord, it is four am rising
[county] It's "catsup" or "ketchup."
[luisa|||] okbed
*** luisa||| is now known as gurl
[Linux] night, wheesie
[Linux] I am really nothing like a viking, btw
[county] Oh, I'm sure.
*** Linux is now known as momocrome
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*** momocrome has quit IRC (Quit: )
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[Marco`] Hi
[Marco`] Anyone alive?
* Marco` 's off
*** Marco` has quit IRC (Quit: Going down now)
[me0w] g'morning
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[bc] hello
[me0w] Hi bc
[bc] hellow me0wsy
* bc was just in the pub
[bc] and you know what?
[me0w] What?
[bc] a woman in her late forties started coming onto me something dreadful
[bc] unlike some, I wasn't in the least tempted
[me0w] Ahhh
[bc] certainly not
[me0w] Well done!
[bc] it's not a great achievement, I think these things are in your nature.
[bc] Either you adore OAP's, or you don't.
[bc] cool
[bc] scotland beat south africa at the rugby!
[me0w] I think though, in Mr. Buck's case, he may have been wearing some good quality Beer Goggles.
[bc] that's a point. Still, I did have 3 pints, I wasn't entirely sober, but probably not as many Mr Buck. I think alcohol just decreases your reserve, it doesn't make you suddenly find things attractive you don't while sober
[bc] I mean, if you wake up after a night out with a member of your own sex (for example), it prolly says something
* bc has some prawns
[me0w] This is why everyone needs a voice of reason when drinking. I take mine along whenever I am going to be consuming cast quantities of alcohol (the voice of reason is also known as the designated driver).
[bc] hehe
[me0w] cast = vast
[bc] strange, I don't have problems. In fact, I reject much more impressively and fullsomely when drunk than when sober. I don't need no stinkin' voice of reason!
[me0w] When I am intoxicated I run across a problem
[bc] haha! I remember you mentioning this before. That's an awful affliction, though prolly pretty amusing
[me0w] And apparently I become quite the mischevious girl and for this I also need the voice.
[bc] to stop you mixing it up too much? Playing tricks and pranks
[me0w] And the licking
[bc] this makes you sound like quite the handful when pissed
[me0w] A giggly handful, yes.
[me0w] That's why I need a voice of reason.
[bc] I don't think I'm too bad when drunk. In fact, I'm often the voice of reason for other people, despite that we have all drunk hideous amounts. I'm just the same as usual, but more exhuberantly, I suppose. I think I have a good head for booze by nature, that's prolly why
[bc] mm that was tasty
[bc] post-prandial smoke time
[me0w] enjoy
* bc wonders whether to watch "contact" on dvd, which he has, but hasn't watched, though he read the book years ago
[bc] which I liked, I liked the way it was all about revelation, and its validity
[bc] the woman in it was sort of like a hardcore kurobot at first, you know, utterly logical positivist and materialist and dismissive of anything that can't be proved utterly, of revelation, till it all comes back and bites her when she has her own revelatory experience
[me0w] I don't think I have ever seen this film.
[bc] it's supposed to be decent.
[bc] I think a lot of people hated it, and another lot of people loved it
[me0w] I will have to add it to my must see list of films.
[bc] it's a sort of SF thing, in a way, and I think a lot of the people who disliked it were expecting some usual guns'n'aliens shite
[me0w] I normally don't watch 'alien' movies.
[bc] it's not really like that. The book wasn't at least. It's set present day
[bc] they discover an alien signal
[bc] this woman does
[bc] and there's lots of politics and argument about it
[bc] and she is hardcore rationalist and dismissive of the religious people
[bc] but in the end, she ends up having an experience that everybody doubts she had, a revelation..
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[bc] hey ct
[me0w] Good Afternoon Captain
[bc] el capitano
[Captain_Tenille] Ahoy
[Captain_Tenille] What goes on in these parts?
* Captain_Tenille finally got some sleep last night
[bc] You are admirably offensive; you have won. I am offended, many times over. Now please, leave me the fuck alone. --infinitera
[Captain_Tenille] ?
[bc] I am not admirably offensive
* Captain_Tenille wades through the k5rap
[me0w] There was nothing interesting on K5 this morning
[Captain_Tenille] Nope. Doesn't look like it.
[Captain_Tenille] Yawn
[Captain_Tenille] All right, time to make breakfast, I think
[Captain_Tenille] I may be on later.
*** Captain_Tenille has quit IRC (Quit: Making breakfast)
[me0w] they leave so quickly
[bc] yes
[me0w] I made coffee, but now I find I'm too lazy to go and pour it.
[bc] Catch 22 then
[bc] you need some caffeine to rouse you to pour it
[me0w] I need to hire someone to make it for me.
[me0w] But this person must agree to be paid in post-it notes as I have no funds.
[me0w] My new site format seems to be coming along. I might actually like it.
[bc] hehe
* bc is writing a ranty comment
[me0w] Will it be exciting?
[bc] maybe if you like seeing infinitera being attacked, otherwise it's prolly not your thing
[bc] it will be 0ed though, as usual, by him
[bc] but shant be in the hidden wueue for long
[me0w] I will give it a 5 if it is exciting
[bc] yay
[bc] http://www.kuro5hin.org/comments/2002/11/15/17928
[bc] there you go me0w
[me0w] I am giving you a 5 for the number of words you used
[bc] woohoo!
[bc] I quite often start typing, and type and type and type in fury
[bc] and I don't really attack him personally till towards the end
[bc] infinitera is a twat
[me0w] Well, I think the "I think you a cunt" might be a bit insulting
[bc] it's possible
[me0w] For some anyway
[me0w] I might take that as a compliment.
[bc] I'd just laugh and respond in kind
[bc] I don't understand the people who get so worked up about lack of civility on the internet
[bc] it's all just a laugh
[me0w] It is all for my amusement
[bc] when ubu and I met, we were calling each other cunts immediately, and being dreadfully insulting. We knew instantly we liked the other
[me0w] That is when you know it is true love.
[bc] indeed. I don't love ubu like a brother, I love him like the homosexual partner I never had
[me0w] I should send flowers to celebrate your relationship.
[bc] that would be very nice of you. The anniversary is very soon, actually
[me0w] Brilliant!
*** gurl (~happy@dialup-64.152.253.58.Dial1.Houston1.Level
[bc] hi, gurrrrl
[gurl] hullo, you
[me0w] Hello
[gurl] christ i overslept
[bc] what time is it where you are? 11:30?
[gurl] twelve thirty
[bc] damn firemen
[bc] striking bastards, is what they are
[bc] there was a housefire here, the soldiers had to break the picketlines, and 6 people were injured due to smoke inhallation. The firemen deliberately tried to stop the aid going out to the fire
[me0w] That isn't good.
[me0w] I can understand the strike, but preventing aid is not ethical.
[bc] the fire service should be shut down and replaced with a nice big charity
[bc] they get £21,000 as a starting wage, the firemen, which is well above the national average wage, After a few years, it rises considerably further, and they have already been offered an 11% raise and rejected it - they are going for 30% (!)
[bc] for what? 99% of the time they are sitting about playing cards
[me0w] 21,000 is far too little
[bc] the fire service should be like the RNLI
[bc] me0w, that's a starting wage for a newly qualified fireman
[bc] the national average wage for everyone is £17,000
[bc] this isn't a rich country like America, with its closer embrace of capitalism, where the national average is more like £30,000
[me0w] I guess I just know people who make more than that.
[me0w] I still think 21,000 is rather low
[bc] £21,000 is perfectly decent as a starting wage
[bc] nurses get £14,000, soldiers £16000, as starting wages
[bc] policemen £17,000
[me0w] Nurses should get more, as well as police men
[me0w] The train people should get less.
[bc] well, ideally I'm sure everybody would be getting £1,000,000 annually, but I'm not willing to see the government take more than half my earnings away to give to these people. If they don't want to work for those wages, they can switch to the private sector.
[bc] and yes, the train sods especially suck
[bc] they went on strike at glasgow underground forcing me to walk 6 miles through highly dodgy parts of glasgow in the rain
[me0w] I think that there are certain professions that should be paid more
[bc] I think it is fine, as long as the money isn't stolen by threat of violence off others to do so.
[gurl] er, no.
[bc] a free market would sort them out, it is only ever public sector workers that strike anyway.
[gurl] nothing teachers do warrants more money
[bc] they'd pay fairly
[gurl] nurses get paid very well for their hours and labour
[me0w] nurses are underpaid
[gurl] at least, if the flooded nursing schools are any indication
[bc] also, funnily enough teachers in scotland just got a 25% increase a couple of years ago. There is now a big "brain drain" of the best teachers from england to scotland. heh!
[me0w] Which is why there are a shortage - they go places where they will be better paid
[gurl] yes, and that is the hospital down the road
[gurl] it is a highly paid but stressful job
[gurl] not everyone can hack it
[gurl] thus, the shortage
[bc] here, all the best doctors and nurses go to America
[bc] where they get paid decently
[me0w] A large number of nursing students in Canada go to the US, and the Middle East - they are usually paid more than double what they make here
[bc] we in turn import from India and scandinavia
[gurl] haha
[gurl] but scanadinavia is supposed to be the perfect country!
[gurl] all socialist paradise and whatnot
[gurl] well, the countries in that region
[bc] not judging by the delectable nurses at my local hospital, loads of whom are danish, norwegian, swedish
[gurl] well, being raised socialist apparently doesn't kill the desire to earn a fair wage for services and all that
[bc] norwegian especially, but I think that is because lots of norwegians come to scotland anyway, cos it is quite close
[gurl] lord, i don't want to go bed shopping
[bc] it certainly doesn't, gurl
[bc] shopping in bed, or shopping for a bed?
[gurl] for a bed
[bc] get one that doesn't creak or have annoying springs
[bc] the best bed I ever had was one that was a platform of wood planks, with a really thin mattress on top
[bc] that thing was great
[bc] prolly quite cheap, too
[gurl] i just want a futon
[bc] never tried one of those, are they good?
[me0w] Get a sturdy futon
[me0w] Over time the frame can bend
[gurl] i was thinking a metal one
[me0w] You'll want a thick mattress on it (if they give that option)
[bc] cool
* bc watches Only Fools and Horses
[gurl] actually, i will go tomorrow since i cannot carry the sodding thing home with me
[bc] hehe
[gurl] i think i'll just take the bed frame from my old bed
[gurl] and buy a new mattress
[bc] heh. Sounds good
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*** Sulla is now known as bc
[gurl] it's a gorgeous day
[gurl] but utterly cold and crystal clear out
[bc] I love that
[bc] cold and clear
[bc] and sunny
[bc] perfect weather as far as I'm concerned
[bc] gurl, how did it go with that chap?
[gurl] he friend zoned me
[bc] ah hah
[bc] I did that to a girl week last week after a date. It's surprisingly hard. Requires delicacy
[gurl] so i have a perfectly nice male friend
[bc] well that's something at least
[bc] I have a nice big fillet steak and some English mustard
[gurl] i have a hearty beef stew
[bc] oh splendid
[gurl] haha
[gurl] i am reading about the french foreign legion
[bc] oh yes. That's France's only *professional* section of the army eh?
[bc] I know someone who served in it for 21 years
[gurl] it is terribly intensive
[bc] yes
[bc] long marching through the desert and stuff
[gurl] and no girls allowed!
[bc] http://britishsas.8m.com/training.html
[bc] ^I think that is about the globally hardest training&selection for any regiment
[bc] they are insane
[bc] as part of it, they have the applicant (after a week of insane marching and activity) look after a pet rabbit in the mountains for a while. he is completely alone, and must forage for his own food and protect the rabbit for ages. Then, he recieves an order to kill and eat the rabbit
[bc] quite sadistic
[gurl] haha
[gurl] there's a kill house?!
[bc] they are special forces
[bc] anti-terrorist stuff is one of their duties
[bc] storming embassies, say, like when they stormed the Iranian embassy and freed all the hostages in London in the 80's
[bc] they were the first special forces unit in the world, created during WWII
[gurl] lordy
[bc] Delta Force in the US was founded in the 70's by an American officer who lobbied for it after seeing the SAS and serving in an exchange program in the UK army
[bc] but they aren't as good. They have a slightly different ethos. Delta Force peeps tend to be really big and brawny, and their modus operandi is to be flown in on a big helicopter and shoot everything up before being flown away again
[bc] the SAS are different, in that they believe in more traditional marching and approaching the target on foot. They tend to get dropped far away, sneak about hundreds of miles, attack, and sneak away. And they operate in teams of 8 generally
[bc] http://home.hccnet.nl/22.sas/Operation%20Nimrod.h
[bc] ^that was mad
[bc] I remember watching it on tv
[gurl] so the sas do it properlike
[gurl] well, more like people think such things work
[bc] of course! ie, no hostage deaths, all terrorists dead, seemingly miraculously
[bc] it's sort of amazing
[bc] another famous one was the scud stuff during the gulf war
[bc] one of their missions went wrong, they were given wrong maps
[bc] and they were euipped for desert conditions, but it was frequently -20C and snowing etc
[bc] and they got discovered and stormed by two lorry loads of iraqi tropps, tanks, etc, from a local base
[bc] so the 8 of them killed ALL of them, then walked 100km overnight carrying 80lb bergens in freezing conditions
[bc] they are sort of insane those people. Not qute normal, but very good at what they do (wholesale, efficient slaughter)
*** Captain_Tenille (~jeremy@216-210-218-82.atgi.net) has joined #adequacy
[gurl] damn
[bc] and also, cos it is UK army, it is not just UKians, they select from many countries in the commonwealth
[gurl] reminds me of stephen king's gunslinger
[bc] so canadians and australians and NZers and Nepalians can see the SAS as the peak of their career, if they are good enough to make it through selection
[Captain_Tenille] SAS?
[bc] yes
[gurl] british special forces
[Captain_Tenille] Aha
* Captain_Tenille always thought MI5 and MI6 were cool acronyms
[bc] hehe
[Captain_Tenille] Although for the longest time I thought it was M16
[Captain_Tenille] Which seemed odd
[bc] ct, during WWI it went from MI1 all the way to MI20
[bc] also, MI5 & MI6 didn't officially exist until very recently
[Captain_Tenille] I was just about to ask what happened to MI1-4
[gurl] heh
[bc] having no constitutional checks, the government is free to deny they exist at all
[gurl] haha
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[gurl] oh look@
[gurl] er, nevermind
[Captain_Tenille] The US gov denied the existence of the NSA forever.
[bc] same as SAS, which didn't officially exist till the 90's,, and is still v.secret
[Captain_Tenille] I don't think they officially acknowledge the Delta Force
[bc] the SAS are fun because they are the first special forces group, and most other western country's special forces groups were founded, usually much later, on that model, often by officers who saw the SAS in exchange programmes and thought it a jolly good idea
[bc] Delta Force being a case in point, in the 70's. Same with Germany's, france's. Greece's, Israel's, etc etc
[bc] but SAS are teh best!
[gurl] it is impressive what humans can be taught to do
[Captain_Tenille] Is SAS just Green Beret style special forces, or does it include PSYOPS and Civil Affairs type stuff
[Captain_Tenille] ?
[bc] that's the other thing with the SAS, the complete lack of traditional army discipline, which was very new
[bc] ct: it is mostly military and anti-terrorist
[bc] there is another group that specialises in civil intelligence
[bc] that sometimes work with the SAS, but the SAS are purely a military machine
[Captain_Tenille] Civil Affairs handles the military's relations with the governments of the countries they're in.
[Captain_Tenille] Should said government fall, they set up a caretaker government in it's place.
* Captain_Tenille 's dad did that for a long time
[bc] coo
[gurl] bc, my sibling is all rotting in the county jail
[bc] haha
[bc] what'd he do?
[gurl] his warrant caught up to him
[bc] damn
[gurl] he owes about 400£ in fines
[Captain_Tenille] I just found out yesterday, actually, what my dad did after he worked as a codebreaker during the Vietnam War.
[county] bc, you've millions, get gurl's brother out of the clink.
[bc] he deserves it, county
[bc] Contributing to the skill of the SAS is the Operations Research Unit which develops unique equipment for use by the SP team.
[county] That's beside the point. She'll be indebted to you.
[bc] ^^hehe, that's like "m" in james bond
[gurl] bc, he found a job
[gurl] and now he will lose it
[gurl] because of extended absence
[bc] damn it
[bc] what's he fined for?
[Captain_Tenille] Aren't you guys going to ask what my dad did?
[bc] isn't that classified, ct?
[Captain_Tenille] He didn't tell me much.
[gurl] speeding ticket, i think
[Captain_Tenille] Just enough to make me boggle.
[Captain_Tenille] zuul, he?
[zuul] he is not
[bc] but he was army, eh? mad
[Captain_Tenille] Wouldn't tell me what he did
[gurl] then why build us up so cruelly]?
[Captain_Tenille] NSA. That's all we would say.
[Captain_Tenille] er, he
[county] Come on, bc, give her brother a chance.
[county] He's trying to turn is life around!
[county] He's in jail because of ancient history.
[bc] you're right county. I will bail him right away.
[county] Good man.
[county] I'm sure gurl will be very grateful.
[gurl] some woman is presently trying to adopt me
[county] But you're too old for that.
[bc] is she older, and with grown up children who have flown the nest?
[gurl] yeah, pretty much
[gurl] except her grown kids are still in the nest
[county] And she wants more.
[gurl] she thinks i'm a unique snowflake
[gurl] and wants to feed and clothe me and all that
[bc] weird, gurl
[gurl] aye
[bc] weird weird weird
[gurl] and the annoying guy at work who kept trying to pay me to go out with him
[county] So are you going to take her up on it?
[gurl] he got in a horrible car wreck and was fired
[gurl] she is rather like mother
[gurl] except less manipulative and deceitful
[county] Did he get fired for getting in the car wreck?
[gurl] not quite
[gurl] he was fired for trying to come back to work
[gurl] with a broken neck
[bc] he offered you money? heh, how desperate
[gurl] well, he is married
[gurl] and also i don't want him
[gurl] but he just couldn't seem to accept that
[bc] "Please come out with me?" - "No." - "I'll give you £500."
[county] That's really harsh.
[bc] it's damned right, gurl
[county] He was so dedicated to his work that he wanted to come in, but he got fired instead!
[bc] I'm proud of you!
[county] Couldn't they just tell him to go home and sleep it off?
[gurl] he got in the accident whilst drunk
[gurl] and it was off duty anyhow
[gurl] so they can easily get him on inability to perform
[gurl] and he could hardly even sit down
[gurl] the doctor hadn't signed a release
[gurl] so however cruel it sounds, they had every reasonable right to fire him
[county] Still, to be unemployed and mangled in these times is difficult. He'll probably end up on the street.
[gurl] no, his wife is utterly devoted and loving
[gurl] and makes piles of money
[gurl] she wanted only to take care of him
[county] He has a devoted wife who makes lots of money, but wants a little on the side too?
[county] That seems risky.
[gurl] but he wanted to go drinking and sleep with other women
[county] I should find a rich, devoted wife.
[county] Having one could be convenient.
[gurl] it was the only thing that saved him
[county] Some guys have all the luck.
[bc] hehe
[gurl] i am sure bc would happily arrange for you to acquire a wealthy wife
[bc] it's true. There's a lucky sod I know who's wife is a civil engineer making tons of cash. All he does is footer about spending her money on computers and crap. They love each other very much and seem very happy. Sickening, it is.
[county] Yeah, I need someone to take care of me!
[county] I'm tired of being responsible.
[bc] BRB, mobile shop
[gurl] have a beer
[gurl] actually, have five or six
[county] What's a mobile shop?
[county] Anyway, that's too many beers.
[gurl] well, however many will intoxicate you
[gurl] women like to help men in that state
[county] Haha!
[county] What nonsense.
[county] Women hate drunks.
[gurl] depends on the drunk boy
[gurl] i find some of them endearing
[bc] damn it's cold
[county] Well, what do you expect? Your house was built before heat was invented
[county] What's a mobile shop, though?
[bc] I am an endearing drunk boy. My cold reserve melts away, revealing a vulnerable and heartbreakingly fascinating character. I find that women are much more interested in me when drunk, than when sober.
[county] uh huh
[bc] county, a shop on wheels that drives around selling things. It parks outside my front door
[county] What sort of things?
[bc] in this instance, I got dunhills and Irn Bru, and a bottle of Gin
[county] So you've gone back to the bottle.
[county] tsk tsk.
[bc] all sorts, county. There are many of them, in fact. Soem are mobile butchers, others mobile grocers and fishmongers. This one sells everyday necessities
[county] Like I said, though, some guys have all the luck. When sober, I'm undesirable. When intoxicated, I'm undesirable in a different way.
[county] Everyday necessities like dunhills, Irn Bru, and gin.
[bc] Yup.
[county] dunhills sound like cigarettes. What's Irn Bru?
[bc] they sell what's sold most in the local community
[bc] county: http://www.bevnet.com/reviews/irn-bru/index.asp
[gurl] what's a good poll topick before i hotfoot it elsewhere?
[bc] poll? hmmn
[county] I don't think I've ever seen any of that, bc.
[bc] favourite spirit?
[gurl] irn bru is only in scotland
[county] That would be all you can think of.
[bc] county, well, it is actually illegal in the US, the FDA won't allow it to be sold there
[bc] so it isn't surprising
[county] gurl, "Favorite condiment to lick off nipples?"
[bc] it contains too much iron, or something
[county] Be sure to include horseradish as an option.
[wsl3] county: Hot Thai Red Curry
[bc] it's very very popular in russia though
[Captain_Tenille] What on earth is it? And why is it illegal?
[bc] ct, it's just a soft drink. It's illegal cos the FDA don't like it's iron content
[wsl3] What is?
[Captain_Tenille] Ah
[gurl] man, i suppose i am not cut out for daytime drinking
[gurl] my tummy hurts now
[wsl3] gurl: Have some nice cock. That should solve the problem, but only if you get all the way down and get the protien suprise at the end.
[gurl] i don't see how
[gurl] protein makes my tummy hurt
[wsl3] They'll cancel each other out.
[gurl] i somehow doubt this.
[gurl] i love my diary.
[wsl3] Nah, I can show you if you want!
[county] Give up, wsl3. The fact is, you can only score with fatties.
[wsl3] give it up county, the fact is, I don't care what you think.
[county] That doesn't make any sense, idiot. I wasn't trying to influence your opinion.
[bc] I love your diary too, gurl =)))
[gurl] hehe
[wsl3] county: Uh huh.
[gurl] there is nothing wrong with fatties, if they have attractive features
[gurl] and don't look like useless lumps of crap
[wsl3] Bingo!
* wsl3 is a FFA
[gurl] fatty fucker anonymous?
[wsl3] LOL
[wsl3] FFA == Fullfigured Female Admirer
[gurl] oh god
[county] Vlad's fatties look like useless lumps of crap, gurl.
[gurl] i HATE those
[wsl3] county is a useless lump of crap
[county] These women aren't fat, gurl, they're disgustingly hyper-obese.
[wsl3] gurl - hate what? Voluptous women?
[county] 300lbs.
[gurl] a girl can be voluptuous without being heavy
[bc] FFA give BBWs TLC and have a GSOH
[county] A three hundred pound woman isn't voluptuous.
[county] She's hyper-obese.
[wsl3] county: I know lots of attractive 300lb women.
[gurl] no, that's a porker
[gurl] i don't know any.
[county] You don't know any!
[county] You're delusional.
[wsl3] Depends - what if she's like 6' tall?
[gurl] and i know some decent looking big girls
[gurl] then she shouldn't exceed 250
[wsl3] gurl: Top size?
[gurl] and that only if she is super muscular
[wsl3] gurl: Nah - I've seen women as high as 400lbs that I'd do.
[gurl] well, men are less picky about that
[county] I'm not.
[county] I'm not interested in girls much over 150.
[gurl] well, that leaves the taller ones out
[gurl] unless they are very slim
[Captain_Tenille] Tall girls are overrated
[wsl3] gurl: That depends - in general I don't find a woman attractive under 175 or so unless she is stunningly beautiful and has a personallity to match.
[Captain_Tenille] *under* 175?
[gurl] that is a shame for you, wsl3
[county] I don't much like taller girls, gurl.
[wsl3] under, yes.
[gurl] i personally think too many people are heavy
[county] Much beyond 5'6" is too tall, I think.
* Captain_Tenille 's gf is 5'
[wsl3] gurl: I don't find it a shame at all! I have a full, active, loving sex life, thank you very much.
[gurl] but that said, i don't mind heavy people who don't whine about it
[gurl] of course you do
* wsl3 doesn't whine - he has no cheese to go with it.
[gurl] i know lots of plain couples that can't get enough of each other
[Captain_Tenille] Off to get a hair cut.
[Captain_Tenille] Ta ta.
[gurl] which is great for them
[gurl] hasta
*** Captain_Tenille has quit IRC (Quit: Off to get hair cut)
[bc] woohoo
[bc] there's nothing wrong with plain people. Or even ugly people, if they are self confident enough and interesting and especially good natured enough
[gurl] ok, i have to fix someone's cd rom
[bc] happy hacking!
[gurl] well, that is true of anyone
[county] Aye, and there's the rub, bc.
[gurl] there is no hacking involved!
[county] It's easier to become beautiful than it is to become interesting or good natured.
[gurl] it's purely a mechanical issue
[county] If one isn't already.
[bc] you are fixing a technical computer device
[gurl] bof, i am fixing a thingy with serrated wheels
[bc] with what, you say?
[bc] that sounds complicated
[gurl] little wheels with chopped bits
[county] A serrated wheel? Isn't that a gear?
[bc] I'm a man, I don't understand technical things, I just leave it to women
[gurl] yeah, i guess
[gurl] two little gears that aren't spinning the drive out
[county] Well, get that cute little can of yours over there and start fixing things!
[county] Chop chop!
[gurl] i have to finish my beer
[gurl]
[county] bc, what should I do with myself today?
[bc] I think you should go to the pub
*** gurl is now known as cdromgurl
[county] It's kind of dismal out.
[bc] and drink beer, play darts, and watch the match
[cdromgurl] yes, do go, since i cannot
[cdromgurl] wave
[bc] that's why I didn't suggest the park, county
[bc] bye happy hackess!
[county] I don't know where any pubs are. In fact, I think they're illegal in Seattle.
[bc] http://www.nwbrewpage.com/wabpubs/WestSea.html
[bc] go there
[wsl3] lol
[bc] though I must say, the huge billboard sign at the front puts me off
[bc] here, they just have a tiny sign
[bc] I suppose Americans insist on the 25foot billboard treatment
[county] That's really far away.
[bc] get the metro then!
[county] Anyway, going to a pub is way too social.
[bc] you don't need to talk to anyone
[bc] clearly, you aren't very familiar with pubs at all
[bc] they can be profoundly antisocial
[county] Of course I don't, but I feel odd being out by myself.
[county] There isn't any point in going out to be anti-social.
[wsl3] Go nude. That will get some attention.
[county] Shut up.
[wsl3] no
[wsl3] You can forget about that.
[wsl3] If I'm in front of my computer, and I see something I want to respond to, I will - same as you.
[county] Shut up, really.
[wsl3] No.
[wsl3] really.
[bc] blargle
[wsl3] bc: What's new with Kip? Has anyone seen him?
[bc] heis in London, that's all I know
[county] I'm going to go shower.
[county] When I come back, I'm going to have some booze, a pastrami sandwich, and pour at my innermost hopes and dreams.
[county] "out"
[wsl3] ah
[bc] looking forward to it
[wsl3] Well, I'll be quite for that.
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[Sulla] hey momo
From: cptroll
;-)
/bots have become pretty
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] tell me when to stop
Date sent: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 13:38:49 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com (This is CP0039)
(This is CP0040)
Thanks, but you should give me a holler first, since I'm rarely bellow 40
(I was at 44 after a capricious 5-point mod-down with another -1 on top);
so +10 is overkill. While I'm beating this gift horse in the mouth, let
me complain that my bobo comment is still languishing at -1 and won't be
archived.
I'm still waiting for michael to get off his ass and accept this one:
2000-11-28 00:39:58 Yahoo, Mein Kampf, and Child Pornography
(yro,internet) It's been sitting in his queue for a day now.
=?iso-8859-1?q?Lunchtime=20Troll?= <lunchtimetroll@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:
>I had mod points on two accounts and I gave them all
>to Anne Marie as I saw that
>obsessed with her. Are there any other accounts that
>need a boost for the next time I have points?
>
>++tlt
(This is CP0040)
Too bad I got my mod points after I have posted in this thread, Troll Boy.