That movie is going to be so bad-ass...and it transcends all boundaries. I know many non-geeks who are as excited to see it as me. Good job Peter Jackson!!!!
Whats to cover??
by
Obliterous
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
its a movie, not an ongoing world event...
Re:Whats to cover??
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
No shiat, I mean get a girlfriend and have sex... you can still go and enjoy the movie, but you won't have the time to obsess over stupid shiat like this.
Re:Whats to cover??
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You could obsess over the movie while having sex. If there's enough of it that you don't have any time left for other activities (probably 12 hours a day or so) you'd probably need to try things like Lord of the Rings roleplay to keep it from getting repetitive.
Re:Whats to cover??
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
And if the roleplay gets boring, you could do like Jack Black in the alternate version of the Council of Elrond and.....what am I saying?!?!?!?
Broad I Guess...
by
Grip3n
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· Score: 5, Informative
For the new LOTR:TTT Trailer seen on TV with MAJOR SPOILERS (ents, winged nazgul, ending of Battle of Helms Deep), head here (quicktime):
-- To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
LucidityZero
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· Score: 5, Insightful
The REAL problem with the trailers was showing Gandalf in it! I have read the books many times myself, but most of my friends have not. All of them were asking, "Does Gandalf come back?" after the first movie ended. I lied and told them, "No." to make it more exciting for them, but instead they ruin my whole plan in the trailers!
Was this not given any foresight?
-- Sig.i>
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
Spy+Hunter
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· Score: 5, Informative
For a Linux player that can play these Sorensen files (finally), along with practically every other movie file format in existence, head here:
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
trotski
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· Score: 3, Insightful
Spoilers?!?
If you haven't read the book, you shouldn't see the movie. So if some of this stuff is a spoiler to you YOU DESERVE IT I've said this a thousand times... watching this movie without reading the books will RUIN the experience. Don't miss out on some of the greatest literature of the 20th century, read the book(s) now before it's too late!
--
"Entropy is the bad-guy, and he is everywhere"
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
Lemmy+Caution
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· Score: 5, Funny
Gee, you don't think the fact that Ian Mckellen has second billing in the film might be a bit of a tip-off?
Re:Broad I Guess...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 5, Funny
Sauron compels them to ruin your plans, for his own evil purposes, you poor lying bastard.
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Your experience will not be ruined if you havn't read the books yet. Actually it will probably be enhanced because you don't have to sit there and realize all the differences between the screen adaptation and the books. Oh one more thing...to call LOTR some of the greatest literature of the 20th century...come on my good man! Good? Yes. Great...no.
I COMPLETELY agree! I recently bought the new 4-dvd fellowship of the rings, and was watching it with one of my roomates. He (who has not read the book) kept asking me questions about the story and I kept having answers. He even asked me, "how do you know so much more about the story than I do?" and I said, "because I've read the book, and everything is explained in so much more detail." If you read the book, you'll have such a deep understanding of the movie, it will make the movie so much more exciting for you. Seriously people, read the book, it's worth the thousand+ pages.
Re:Broad I Guess...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Wrong....
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
wheany
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· Score: 4, Insightful
watching this movie without reading the books will RUIN the experience.
No, it seems reading the books will ruin the movie experience. The most vocal whiners have been people who have read the books. I was going to read the books after seeing the first movie, but then I read all the whining and nit-picking from people that had read the books and thought I don't want to become like that.
Re:Broad I Guess...
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
No, he might have been shown in a flashback sequence, voice over, etc.
Posting anon cause I don't want to admit I'm a dumbass
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Man, that would have been such a lame rip-off of Obi-Wan from StarWars!
I do not know about that. I prefer to read the book after having seen the movie so I do not ruin the movie and the book.
Though I've had this fail for 2 movies/books. The movie "Silence of the Lambs" was better than the book. Ninth gate was a stripped down version of "The Club Dumas" by Arturo Perez-Reverte. If you saw the movie first, the book was a disappointment. If you read the book first, the movie was a major disappointment.
-- "Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain
That's what I used on my brother, who asked the question (even though he claims he was "reading the books") after the ending of "Fellowship of the Rings."
Except he caught that I was mincing words and then asked "what about Gandalf?" So... oh well.
-- You are in a maze of twisty little relative jumps, all alike.
From your sig...you've been published on Slashdot? Congrats...wait for the royalty cheques to roll in. I submitted a good one on how wearing glasses trounces your chances with the ladies but it got rejected, ironically. Maybe there are some hot babe editors...
I disagree. My sister, an English Lit. snob, had
never read the books because she thought they
were just pulpy fantasy books for geeks. I took
her to see Fellowship. She immediately asked to
borrow the first book, and now she's geeking out
over the trilogy in a way that puts me to shame.
Example: She wants to get in touch with her "inner
elf" by learning Elvish.
Seriously, she used to make fun of people like
this. And it was the movie that paved the way.
If you haven't read the book, you shouldn't see the movie. So if some of this stuff is a spoiler to you YOU DESERVE IT I've said this a thousand times... watching this movie without reading the books will RUIN the experience. Don't miss out on some of the greatest literature of the 20th century, read the book(s) now before it's too late!
The Lord of the Rings was, at its time, groundbreaking and innovative. But it was still badly written and poorly designed.
The climax of the entire story happens less than halfway through the final book, and is done via the predestined actions of a minor character. Most of the really good parts happen off camera-; rather than actually capturing them in prose, Tolkien decided to simply suggest them--thus making each person imagine them by themself.
Yes, it was groundbreaking. Yes, I wouldn't have either my favorite genre or my favorite game without it. But it was hardly among "the greatest literature of the 20th century." Most important maybe, but not "greatest."
"There was a lot missing in the movie from the book."
The climax of the entire story happens less than halfway through the final book,
Yeah, don't you hate that? I especially hate it when I'm reading histories of the Second World War and they always defeat the big bad guy so soon and we have to wade through the final defeat of the minor bad guy.
and is done via the predestined actions of a minor character.
I suppose you could say that, in the same way you could say that the climax of a book that peaks with the slaying of the bad guy "was done via the predestined actions of the hero's sword."
Most of the really good parts happen off camera-; rather than actually capturing them in prose, Tolkien decided to simply suggest them--thus making each person imagine them by themself.
I think the only consistent reading of that sentence is that you don't care for the book at all, if you can believe that both that
(1) the author crafted the "really good parts" of the book
deliberately ("Tolkien decided") and (2) the book is "badly written".
Yes, it was groundbreaking. Yes, I wouldn't have either my favorite genre or my favorite game without it. But it was hardly among "the greatest literature of the 20th century." Most important maybe, but not "greatest."
I'd rate it up there. But then, I think highly enough of it to have gone back to it every couple of years in the three decades since I first read it.
"There was a lot missing in the movie from the book."
"What?"
"All the parts that sucked, for one..."
Like the Frodo's character development, in its entirety? It seems to me that Jackson missed the fact that, although Frodo retained the appearance of a hobbit just out of his tweens, he was, in fact, fifty years old. I can just imagine what he's done to Sam's character development in this installment. Does Arwen make another of her appearances, this time in Cirith Ungol?
Yeah, don't you hate that? I especially hate it when I'm reading histories of the Second World War and they always defeat the big bad guy so soon and we have to wade through the final defeat of the minor bad guy.
WWII was a real event. The Lord of the Rings was a fantasy epic. It's not a fair comparison.
Now, when taken as a whole LotR has the climax in about the right place--but it's almost never taken that way.
I suppose you could say that, in the same way you could say that the climax of a book that peaks with the slaying of the bad guy "was done via the predestined actions of the hero's sword."
The predestined part isn't all that bad--it's part and parcel of the tradition. But the problem is that the biggest problem of the entire world is solved by a madman accidently jumping into a volcano...
I think the only consistent reading of that sentence is that you don't care for the book at all, if you can believe that both that
(1) the author crafted the "really good parts" of the book
deliberately ("Tolkien decided") and (2) the book is "badly written".
Well, that's the problem. Tolkien DIDN'T write the "really good parts"--he merely suggested them.
And I DID care for the books--until I finished them. It feels like Tolkien started the fantasy tradition of having your trilogy get worse with each volume. *sigh*
Like the Frodo's character development, in its entirety? It seems to me that Jackson missed the fact that, although Frodo retained the appearance of a hobbit just out of his tweens, he was, in fact, fifty years old. I can just imagine what he's done to Sam's character development in this installment.
Hobbit years are not human years--and even if they were, most hobbits-as-written don't grow up very much at all.
As far as movies go, Frodo & Sam have gobs and gobs of character development.
Does Arwen make another of her appearances, this time in Cirith Ungol?
Ah, you'd prefer it if Jackson faithfuly reproduced Tolkien's sexism?
Lord of the Rings, the movie trilogy by Peter Jackson, is a retelling of the story by Tolkien. The basic story is the same, while the parts that don't matter are either dropped or changed.
The promotion of the strong female lead to an active role won't get anyone's hackles up but the same kind of fan that bitches that Tom Bombadil didn't show up.
AFAIK, Arwen DOES show up. I have a suspicion that she brings the Narsil to Aragorn; FotR was unclear as to if he's got it or not. It'd be very believeable that the elves don't take the time to reforge the broken sword before the Fellowship sets off, and if so Arwen bringing the sword would help fill out TT.
(Side note: There's a difference between not liking something and knowing that it's badly written. The structure, pacing, and detail of The Lord of the Rings is ancient and abyssmal--it's dated a scant century after its original publication.)
I read the books AND saw the movie, and I loved it!!!! I always thought that the books would make a great film, and was elated, and still am, that they were finally translated to a visual medium.
-- When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarves began to suspect Hungry.
And I DID care for the books--until I finished them. It feels like Tolkien started the fantasy tradition of having your trilogy get worse with each volume. *sigh*
Currently, my favorite parts of the book are the journey to Crickhollow and the Scouring of the Shire. The latter might explain why I can't relate with either your problem with the long denouement or your feeling that the last is worst than the first. After those bits, my favorite part is Cirith Ungol, of which more later...
Hobbit years are not human years--and even if they were, most hobbits-as-written don't grow up very much at all.
Most hobbits-as-written as long as you exclude the four in the Fellowship and all those involved in the Scouring of the Shire. As for hobbit years, a hobbit comes of age at 33 and considers 102 a "ripe, old age" at which to die. A fifty-year-old hobbit is surely equivalent to a forty-year-old human -- not the teenager portrayed in the movie.
As far as movies go, Frodo & Sam have gobs and gobs of character development.
In the book, Frodo's development is illustrated in his actions in the barrow, on Weathertop, at the Ford, and in the Scouring. In the movies, these scenes are either removed or in them Frodo is made a passive figure.
Ah, you'd prefer it if Jackson faithfuly reproduced Tolkien's sexism?
Not necessarily. I'd have written very nearly the same thing had Glorfindel done the Kevin Sorbo version of Arwen's Lucy Lawless act at the Ford. Frodo, though nearly overcome by the splinter he received at Weathertop, resisted the Nazgul on his own -- the only thing Glorfindel did was to command Frodo's horse to flee (and to help scare the Riders' horses into the flood). My point is that Jackson seems to like his hobbits clueless and helpless. That just isn't going to work at Cirith Ungol -- hence my Arwen comment.
-- Jeff
Re:Broad I Guess...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You've got to be kidding me. Reading the book spoils the movie for you. The books are abysmally boring and slow, and could easily be cut down to 30% of the size without losing anything from the story. I stopped part way through the 2nd book, as it was so damn boring I couldn't stand it. I've read some books that were as long, but they just don't get as boring an uninteresting.
Assuming it is true that "the most vocal whiners have been people who have read the books," it's silly to assume that reading the books will turn you into a vocal whiner (or will turn you into anything)... unless you're a whiny, nitpicking asshole by nature, in which case I'd agree with you. Stay away from the long, complicated words and stick with the nice pretty images instead.:)
-- "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
made me watch lord of the rings. it was okay. i mean it was gorgeous and all but i never got into the whole mid earth thing.
I'm not toally sure how this made the front page though? Some site has news on Lord of the Rings? Weee!
You'd prefer maybe a news about a site with news about a guy who used linux for something?
--
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Re:my sister...
by
houseofmore
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· Score: 0, Offtopic
Ya. Go have a read about what that guy has to say about a Spielberg mini-series and we'll see you back here.
Re:my sister...
by
pVoid
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· Score: 5, Interesting
My litterature teacher once told me a very interesting anecdote:
He said one day, he was visiting an old castle in France (made to be a museum), and as he was standing on a balcony, someone said "this is where so and so (from Balzac's novels) used to live". To which my teacher replied "you know, that person is ficticious", and the guy's answer was "what, you think the life of a real person from 200 years ago is anywhere nearly as interesting?"
My point is, there are many arguments about Tolkien's stories about how... lame they are or what not. But LoTR is just a part in a masterpiece that Tolkien dedicated his whole life to. He was a great author, among the Greats, and it's not to be taken lightly. Middle Earth is a complete realm from creation to the present. For all intents and purposes, this place actually existed. The details he put into this are astonishing.
As Tolkien himself says, he created Middle Earth because he felt the lack of a good Mythology that had a Celtic feel. He wanted something a-la Scandinavian, Greek, or Egyptian mythology, but for his homeland. And so, he friggin went ahead and created one. Take it as such: LoTR is a Myth of old. Like David and Goliath, or whatever...
Btw, I saw the first movie, and saw the trailer for the second, and I'm creaming my jeans (as filthy critic would say). But I must also add that they are only a shadow of the books.
Re:my sister...
by
Old+Wolf
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· Score: 2, Informative
It was, if Peter Jackson is a guy, and the production of LOTR is a something
It also reminded me of the scene in the simpsons 'trilogy of error', when lisa goes to the West Springfield Elementary, and enters in on a french class, and all the kids start laughing at her, and the teacher says "in french please", and they all start laughing 'a-la french' (and I marvel at the number of times I can fit 'and' in a single sentence).
He was a great author, among the Greats, and it's not to be taken lightly. Middle Earth is a complete realm from creation to the present. For all intents and purposes, this place actually existed. The details he put into this are astonishing.
There is still one reason not to take it as seriously as you would take real history: Real history is internally consistent, and Middle Earth's history is not (or at least, it does not have to be, and it seems unlikely that there are no contradictions anywhere within its telling). Yes, there are contradictions in our known history, but aside from positing violations of the laws of physics, we assume that we have inaccurate information, not that some author made an error which we have to ignore.
We want to learn from history, to avoid making the same mistakes; learning from fictional histories is harder, because you won't necessarily have to worry about making mistakes that might not be able to happen in real life. This is not to diminish Tolkien's literary achievements, of course; I've read and loved LOTR just as many others have. But though LOTR is often more interesting than real history, I don't think LOTR could or should take the place of real history. Yes, it's not to be taken lightly, if you want a complete view of western civilization, but it must be remembered what place in that civilization it holds.
-- "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
I already have my Tickets to LoTR TTT midnight show, got a group of geeks I'm going there with, now I just need to decide if I want to be an ubergeek and dress up as a character from it.
-- --
Any comments seen here are not mine, but a mixture of alchohol and lack of sleep.
-- To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
Re:Frame by Frame Analysis
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
>Can't wait for Dec. 18
You are such a fucking pointless human being. Or fifteen years old, I guess.
Woohoo, Massive! Take my breath away. Show me all the wondrous adventures I will never have.
Re:Frame by Frame Analysis
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Flamebait
That's not a troll, it's flamebait you ignorant slashboterator.
Cock Enlargement
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
I have, I suppose, like all men, wondered what it would be like to have a larger cock. I have, once again, like a lot of people seen the 'freaks' in porno movies who have horse like dicks and thought to myself - 'That can't be normal, most people aren't like that surely.'
But in the back of your mind, you always wonder. Now let me say from the outset that I have nothing in my pants to brag about and although through the years I seem to have been able to satisfy most of the women I have been with, there has never been more than one or two who have, afterwards, made favourable comments either about my length, girth, performance or stamina although they have commented favourably about the over all performance. Perhaps they were just being kind not saying much at all.
Yes, I could say it is because they were so fucking exhausted, they couldn't say anything, but of course that would be lying. I suppose though, if I think back amongst all the women I have had sex with, similarly, there have only been a few that I have thought to be outstanding for one particular reason or another and with them, I have made that very obvious.
I don't think any of them have had particularly small cunts - all the more reason for doubting myself. There has, however, been a couple that have had particularly well-developed cunt muscles and that has made all the difference for both of us. Once again, I now wonder why that was necessary.
There was another whose cunt inner walls were very ribbed and that was sensational. The only trouble with that was that those ribs were made to make you come and come I did. Luckily she was in the days when I was young enough to recover quickly and start all over again and again.
There was another who much preferred me up her arse mind you she had a huge cunt. Her husband once told me "It was like chucking a bit of string in a Cathedral."
There was another who had bushes of body hair everywhere she could cover up. That I found to be magnificent; I couldn't get enough of her.
I suppose that brings me inevitably on to the issue of size and my size in particular. Well here goes. As I have, for as many years as I can remember, been aware of my size and the issue of whether or not I was big enough, I can tell you that I always seem to have been around 7.5 - 8inches long with 4.5 - 5 inches in girth (that girth measurement is not around the head of my dick because I know that is bigger by about another half inch or so and therefore does not give the true measurement over all).
I therefore thought it was about time to go in search of facts and figures of prick sizes and on methods of improving what I have. With the web now so available to us all and virtually anything you want to research on there, I found no trouble in coming up with many different solutions to my 'problem'.
However, a new problem then developed. Did I want to spend a lot of money on contraptions for the outside of my body and tablets and potions for the inside of my body that might not work anyway? Many years ago, I had had one of those suction pumps that were great fun and made your dick look VERY impressive for as long as you had it on, but as soon as it came off, you were back to square one.
I really did give that one a go for a long time simply because I could see the result I wanted to achieve when it was in operation, but try as I might, it just didn't work for me. One of my friends who I confided in (after a particularly fine foursome where it was difficult for everyone not to be exposed to everyone else) suggested pills.
After some thought, I really couldn't understand how any pill would be able to aim just for your prick and enlarge that, surely there were other similar muscles in your body. And in any case all the pills were 'natural' or 'herbal' and easily available without prescription and that made me sceptical as well.
But then I came across a couple of exercise programmes on the web that were not going to cost me anything and could easily be done in a few minutes of privacy. I won't tell you the names of the sites I got these off otherwise you are going to think this is some kind of advert and not fact at all. However, if anyone wants to contact me, they can and I will give the name of the site to you then.
I started about three months ago and it seems to be having an effect. You can't just do the exercises on their own, you also need to strengthen up the muscle between your balls and your arse for the greatest effect - I will go in to that later.
Each day, I do a warm up whereby I take a shower and whilst still in there, I lather up the old tool and put my thumb and forefinger in an 'O' around the base and pull away from me. I found it best to have my hand the way round that kept the rest of my fingers furthest away from my body when I pulled.
I didn't pull my dick straight out from my body, it always felt most effective when I pulled it almost straight down. I would take each pull slowly so it took me about five seconds to pull down from the base to the head.
I, of course, have always found this to be quite stimulating and would become semi erect by the twentieth to thirtieth pull. Unfortunately, I have never been able to determine if this will slow down the effect I am having on my size or not, perhaps someone could let me know.
After I have done it with one hand about fifty times (always lathering him up frequently as I go) I change hands and pull it down the other way. I am not suggesting that you should pull it slowly down to one side and then the other, I always try to pull it straight down as I have never had any kind of bend on mine.
I suppose that if yours has got a bend in it and you don't like that, (heaven knows why, I have always thought that looked great on blokes, but there again, I don't know if it effects the way you can fuck) you could always slowly pull your dick in the opposite direction to the bend and see if that helps.
Once you have done about fifty pulls with both hands, you need to then gently play with your dick, (not a bad thing) whilst still in the shower to kind of let it get over what you have just done to it.
Just a couple of words of warning, if you are going to give it a try but have had in the past or can get hold of any professional advice now that suggests that, for what ever reason you shouldn't try it, then don't, it just might not be for you. But if you feel confident that it is safe for you and you would like to give it a try, build up to the exercise, don't go mad and do too much straight away.
I must admit, I did it too hard, for too long to begin with and it damn well hurt. My prick went a bruised colour and I felt sure I had done some kind of permanent damage. Luckily I hadn't, but it taught me a very good lesson. I started the second time with just ten pulls with one hand and then the next day, ten pulls with the other.
Soon, I was up to ten pulls per day with both hands and gradually, I have tightened my grip to pull harder as the weeks have gone by, also increasing the number of pulls.
Obviously, this is what works for me and everyone is different. If your prick is used to a lot of battering then you should be able to start stronger that if it isn't, but take it easy and take it steady.
I have now been able to graduate to being able to do it anywhere at anytime I have privacy, I no longer need some kind of lubricant, but my first pull of the day is always in the shower, with the warmth and with the soap, that kind of warms me up for the day. It doesn't take long to whip the old trousers down, say when you go for a pee, instead of standing at a stall, go into a cubicle and you can do a quick pull as well.
The other main thing to watch out for is where you are pushing the blood that is already in your prick as you begin each pull down from the base. Obviously, as your grip gets tighter and you pull down harder, you are going to trap the blood and try forcing it out the end - ouch!!!
For those of you like me who have a foreskin, you will find that it tends to have a semi permanent redness about it as though it is sore and to a certain extent it is. For those cut guys, I don't know what to say because I don't know any cut guys who are doing the same exercises.
What I have tended to start doing as the girth has improved is to continue with the downward pulls, with an ever increasing grip, but not go to the knob end. I now usually stop half way down, pull my foreskin back and then continue with the pull. I only ever go as far as the head. I have never continued my pull over it.
My pulling sessions now normally finish with an extended pull for the final time. That is to say, when I decide I have had enough and things are starting to get a bit tender (which they can if you don't always use lube), the last gripped pull reached the head and I stay there, still pulling for say another ten or fifteen seconds and then slowly let go.
My relaxation period (when I am not at home) always tends to be taking hold of him and gently squeezing him a dozen or so times until things feel back to normal (don't forget, this can be quite exciting and when you leave the loo, you don't want to be walking around the office with a damn great lob on, do you - or do you?).
What effect has all this had? Well, I think it has changed me in several ways, both physically and mentally. First of all, the one you have all been waiting for, what has it done to my dong?
Well when you consider that all these 'enlargement' sites tell you that although you will see change in a few weeks, for the best effect, you must keep doing it for at least a year. I can report that there is not much change in length - you remember I used to be 7.5 - 8 inches (could I really claim 8, well sometimes, just perhaps, maybe if I was quick enough with the ruler) well now, on many occasions there is definitely eight, perhaps a tad more, or is that just my imagination?
But it is the girth where there has been significant change - you remember it was 4.5 - 5, well now I can truly claim an increase to 6 inches at least and you can really feel the difference. When it is flaccid, it used to be about 3 - 3.5 inches, now it is 4 - 4.5 inches dependent on the temperature, you men will know what I mean by that.
And it seems to have been noticed as well (and this is where the mental effect comes in), because the girth has changes size, so has the head, although I have not measured the head yet when fully erect, taking into consideration the increased girth measurement, I would say that it is now in the region of 6.5+ inches, and that shows!!!
When I now have sex, there is a lot more squirming takes place by my partner when we are trying to get me up inside her. She can definitely feel that something is very different and when I am fully up inside of her, she shakes gently, holds me perfectly still as far up inside her as she can get me and squeezes him a lot more with her cunt wall muscles.
When she finally lets him go so that we can start moving, she now loves the feeling of the rim of the head of my dick scraping along the inside walls of her fanny. She also seems to be a lot noisier when she cums.
Now the other thing I thought I better mention is that muscle just behind your balls - I can't remember what it is called but I think it was once referred to as the PA muscle, but there again, it doesn't really matter what it is called as long as you exercise the right one.
All the sites I have found say you must exercise this along with the other pulling exercises and the way to do this is by clenching your arse cheeks together time after time after time. The way I checked which one it was, was to wait until I went for a pee and stopped myself from peeing once I was in full flow. Now the one you can feel yourself clenching is the one you have to exercise.
The sites also say that you can do this at anytime and in any position, laying down, standing up or sitting down. When I went for a pee and stopped myself, the muscle I felt was directly between my balls and my arse but when I started exercising, in certain positions it felt as though I was exercising a completely different muscle up inside my arse.
I don't know if this is the same muscle or not, but to be sure, I feel far more confident exercising when I am sitting down, particularly upright say when in the office or driving. And you really can do it anytime, anywhere no one will ever know what you are doing.
I can't recall any of the sites actually explaining why it is necessary to excise this thing but I have gathered from the way the sites are written that it will help us with our self control and the stiffness of our cock when erect - so exercise I do.
They also suggest that you need to build up to where you are clenching it hundreds of times a day in batches of say fifty at a time. This may sound a lot, but it really isn't IF YOU CAN REMEMBER TO DO IT. It is so easy to forget, but I have now got myself into a frame of mind where it just cums to me second nature now and I almost don't have to think about it, I just find myself doing it.
I do it slowly now but I started where I didn't hold the clench for very long because I found that if I did, it didn't take many clenches before it started to hurt as though I had strained it. Now, fifty takes me about ten minutes, that's all, and if I want to, I can start another fifty straightaway.
Obviously, I don't count them, otherwise I would never be able to concentrate on what anyone around me was saying or what other traffic was doing, I just know how long I have been doing it for each time, but I can really feel the difference in the size of the muscle, now all I have to do is learn how to use that better muscle to my advantage. Once again, if anyone could help me out on that one, I would be most grateful.
All these 'enlargement' plans claim -
Permanent penis enlargement - well, we will see, so far, so good
Experience multiple orgasms - can't say that one has worked on me yet
Curvature straightening - never had a curve
Increased sexual stamina - I can certainly last a lot longer now, maybe too long, you have to be careful here.
Cures and prevents impotence - cleaver one this, I suppose they can always turn round and say you might have suffered if you hadn't exercised.
Bigger penis head - definitely and it's great.
Rock hard erections - haven't needed too much here although I would say there is certainly an improvement.
Increased levels of semen - hard for me to judge because I love to cum so frequently, but that's another story, however, the girlfriend did go away recently for a couple of days and I was able to leave myself alone (except for exercising) for that time, when she got back and I whipped her straight off to bed, I nearly drowned her.
More confidence and better sex - definitely, when you can't sit down with your legs together or you are always having to make yourself comfortable down there, you know you are doing SOMETHING right and that transfers over to when you get her into bed. And it's great when you can sense that she feels the difference, you almost want to smile. With the increased flaccid state, you feel far more confident getting caught around the house. But the best bit is when you are on top of her and in a press-up position so that she can look down you and she sees what is about to hammer her and she makes that quiet little noise in the back of her throat and can't wait to get her hands around it and guide it into her slowly so that you don't hurt her -That's fucking brilliant.
Anyway, that's how if has worked and is still working for me. If you feel it can benefit you, why not give it a go. If you have tried something else and it has worked, why not share it with the rest of us so that we can all benefit.
Until someone cums up with a better solution on how to get your hands on your own member and make big improvements to its size - all free of charge, I am just going to keep pulling away and clenching with my exercises and see what I can achieve. I hope for some improvement to the length, more than I have achieved so far, and a continued improvement to the girth and head - I will measure it sometime for you if anyone is interested.
Please let me know what free improvements you have been able to make to your own meat and how you have been able to make them. Please don't exaggerate, hopefully you can see that I have tried to be as factual as possible with no exaggerations as at the end of the day, we are only trying to make ourselves act and feel better in life and that can't be a bad thing.
I really hope this helps some of you guys out there who have felt like I have in the past.
Good exercising and good luck.
Re:Cock Enlargement
by
dimension6
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· Score: 0, Offtopic
Well I haven't seen something like THIS before on/. !!!... a bit offtopic perhaps?...
"What, they have bigger dicks? BOMB THEM!"
--George Carlin
Re:Cock Enlargement
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Somehow I doubt a person who writes that lengthy a story about... well whatever it was about has ever had sex with anyone. I mean we're all geeks here aren't we. Most of us are lucky if we have sex with 1 woman in the course of our miserable lives (although I am only 20) let alone several. I believe this persons a lier. Another thing.... 8 inch dick? too small? That sounds pretty big to me... I mean c'mon. Anyway, doesn't matter I guess. I'll stop rambling off topic now:)
The plantain vagina in my opinion has to be the best homemade male masturbation device that I have ever used. Forget about buying expensive artificial vaginas that are out on the market. Most of them hardly work at all, they don't satisfy, and they will lighten your wallet! Unfortunately, men don't have the sensual luxury women have in that they can use a myriad amount of vibrators, dildoes, double dongs, and even cucumbers to get off on. Sure, men can stick a dildo or butt plug up their asses, but if they are not inclined towards the anal arts, then what's the use?
The plantain vagina is not only natural, but it's inexpensive! The plantains go for about 3 or 4 per U.S. dollar. Plantains can be found in the United States in Hispanic (Latin American) bodegas (a Spanish store) or markets, and if you live near either a Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, Dominican community you will always find tons of plantains so cheap that you would think they're giving them away!
For our randy British wanker cousins, you chaps can go into any West Indian market in your UK towns to find plantains. All West Indian people like Jamaicans, Barbarians, Bahamians, and even Brazilians eat and love plantains. Similarly in the US, and Canada plantains can also be found in West Indian / Jamaican markets if you have them in your towns. Many regular super markets also carry plantains, and I have even seen them at a "Lucky's" super market in Orange County, California when I was visiting that part of the country.
To start,7 let's get some things straight.
According to the University of Florida, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, plantains are classified thusly:
"Plantains are hybrid bananas in which the male flowering axis is either degenerated, lacking, or possesses relicts of male flowers. Plantains are always cooked before consumption and are higher in starch than bananas."
The fruit you want to get for the plantain vagina is not the common banana that is eaten as is. Common bananas are too small and would break if you put your cock in them. You want to use the fruit that is usually cooked - but in our case, we are not going to cook it, but instead we are going to look for one that is at the right stage of ripeness to make your vagina. The following list underneath can give you an idea of the right plantain to pick at the perfect stage.
Green Plantain: Not the one to use! Starchy with a taste more comparable to a potato. Use in recipes that require a starchy vegetable taste. Pulp is ivory color and firm and too hard for a vagina like feel.
Yellow Plantain: This is the one to use for the plantain vagina! Yellow skin may be freckled with black spots. The pulp inside is semi soft to soft and it can be easily pushed out.
Black: Not the one to use! Too soft and yucky looking. The black stage ranges from heavy black spotting to a fully black plantain.
So, as a reminder we want to use the yellow plantain with freckled black spots. This plantain has the right amount of ripeness to fool your cock into believing that it's in a real pussy!
Ok, so now we know which plantain to get! Follow these instructions to create the ultimate in natural masturbation technology!
1. Go to the market and look for plantain that is fairly large in size. Pick a plantain that you can visualize your erect cock fitting snuggly inside. Make sure the plantain is somewhat ripe. If not too ripe, take it home and put it in a brown paper bag so that it could ripen for about a couple of days. Wash the outside of the plantain with some mild soap if you want. Dry it with paper towels.
2. The plantain should be ready to use when the outside skin is not too green or not too black. It should be somewhat yellow with a little black spots here and there. It should also be somewhat soft to the touch.
3. The banana leaf consists of a long, tube-like structure called a sheath. Your cock will go inside the sheath. To accomplish this, you cut the end tip of the plantain that is large enough for your cock to fit into. Not too loose, and not too tight that your cock won't fit into it. When you have cut the end to a size that you think will fit your cock, you then squeeze out the plantain pulp. Gently squeeze the pulp starting at the front and work your way towards the top. It's a good idea to squeeze the pulp out in sections using a soft squeezing motion. We don't want to break the plantain skin.
4. When all the pulp has been squeezed out, your plantain vagina is ready to use. Since you are going to be pumping it furiously we recommend that you punch a few little holes towards the top of the plantain. The reason we do this is for some of the air inside the plantain to escape when you are thrusting in and out. If the holes are not punched, there will be air pockets, and the plantain will have a tendency to break.
5. How do you use the plantain vagina? First, lube your cock. The walls of the plantain contain a deliciously slippery natural substance that feels like the inside of a real vagina. All you have to do is wet your cock with a little water or spit. Saliva is the best lubricant to use, although one can use KY or Astroglide mixed with a little spit. Believe it when we say it - this will be one of the best orgasms you will ever have. It's simple, you lube your hard cock, then you insert it into the opening of the plantain. At this moment, you slide your cock into the sheath as if you had a condom on. After this you will use both your hands to move the sheath up and down your cock until you feel like your are going to climax. The orgasm is unbelievable!
One can also run the plantain skin under hot water to emulate the temperature of a real vagina. This is optional. In addition, one can place the plantain skin between a mattress or anything that will hold it in place. By doing this, your hands can be free, and you can pump it in the usual way you fuck a pussy.
Don't be alarmed if your cock is covered in some of the plantain pulp. The pulp contains natural enzymes and proteins that will only lubricate and nourish your cock.
Please let us know how your plantain vagina worked out!
Gollum Song Video
by
Grip3n
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· Score: 5, Informative
For those of you who are interested, here is a link to the Gollum Song Video. This song will be played at the end of The Two Towers during the credits. Its really creepy, starring Emiliana Torrini for the voice. It's extremely well done and makes you feel a deep sense of pity for the tortured soul that is Gollum. (There are no spoilers in this video, just recycled images from already released previews).
-- To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
Re:Gollum Song Video
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
It reminds me of a james bond song.. and that girls voice is too bjorkish.. i hate bjork, ugh... still though, cant wait for the movie woooooooo!!!!!!
Re:Gollum Song Video
by
geekoid
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· Score: 2, Insightful
"here are no spoilers in this video, just recycled images from already released previews" which have enough spoiler in them them selves.
I know people who have not read the books, so putting that charater in the trailer was poor judgment.
Yes most people have read the books, but thay already know, its the few who havent seen it that the trailer should be geared to.
-- The Kruger Dunning explains most post on/. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Re:Gollum Song Video
by
Lemmy+Caution
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· Score: 3, Interesting
Most adult film goers don't care that much about spoilers. I assume that people go to films for reasons other than to see punch lines and surprises. If otherwise, they'd best not discuss films or books or any narratives with me at all. The only exception to that is the true plot twist, a la Crying Game. As Andrew O'Hehir says:
Actually, my view is that the spoiler obsession, born of the Internet's fan-geek culture, is the enemy of real criticism, real discussion and maybe even real thought, but that's a subject for another time.
Re:Gollum Song Video
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I wanna hear Gollum singing Leonard Nimoy's "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".
Most adult film goes don't care about spoilers because there is nothing to spoil. Hollywood garbage doesn't have much in terms of plot. When a decent movie does come out, the people that want to see it as an intellectual or artistic journey don't want it spoiled (think Brazil).
Plot twists aren't relevant, most great works are meant to be a single uninterrupted unit, without prior knowledge. Every decent movie or book has a plot twist (how many of you expected X to happen to Y at point A in anything you've ever read or seen?) There's always something you don't expect. We're not psychics here.
One of my great regrets as a child was reading the Encyclopedia of Middle Earth before LotR. I knew the end before I got to the beginning. There is nothing more anticlimactic than reading or watching what you'd known was going to happen.
Most great works have nothing to do with avoiding prior knowledge. News flash: in Hamlet, he kills his uncle and his Mom, and dies. MacBeth dies. Oedipus sleeps with his mum and kills his Pa, goes crazy and kills himself.
If you think in any way that I've ruined those stories for you, you're mad. If you think that most people who went to see the original plays didn't know those stories ahead of time, you're also mad.
In a journey, you largely know where you are going and the route you will take. It's a matter of enjoying, not "knowing," the route that matters.
In a journey, you largely know where you are going and the route you will take. It's a matter of enjoying, not "knowing," the route that matters.
You may know a general idea behind the story (crime thriller: cop solves mystery; romantic comedy: at-odds couple finally falls in love; etc.), but the surprises along the way can turn a well-known idea into a wonderful story (LA Confidential; When Harry Met Sally). I personally prefer to know as little as possible about a story before I experience it (be it a movie, book, whatever). Just because you don't care about whether you know the entire story doesn't mean that other people don't or shouldn't care. I didn't know dick about Hamlet the first time I saw it, and I'm glad -- if I'd known they were all going to die in the end, it would have taken all the shock out of it. Do I think everyone should feel this way? Of course not; that's your thing.:)
Anyway, the entire point of this thread was that he was making readers aware what level of spoiler info there was in the linked material. If you don't care about spoilers, then you don't have to heed the warning, but don't go insulting those who like surprises in their entertainment.
-- "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
In other news: newspapers (even in their electronic form) occasionally cover information about recent events or happenings
best way to see it for free...not just for TTT
by
sahidrajar
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· Score: 3, Informative
(This works at AMC theaters:)...Go to the theater the day before the movie opens, prod an usher into telling you where the employee screening is. Slip into the theater after the movie starts, and keep to yourself. Most employees don't know each other, and no one questions a person that isn't causing a problem
Re:best way to see it for free...not just for TTT
by
Cyno01
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· Score: 1
Yeah, my friend who works at a Marcus Theater got me into Ep II 2 days early.:D
-- What makes a man want to be a mouse? (Python's Flying Circus)
International Release Dates
by
Grip3n
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· Score: 5, Informative
Slashdot receives a wide range of visitors from every country. Therefore, here's an international list of release dates in each country TTT will be showing (believe it or not, TTT just doesn't come out on Dec. 18):
-- To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
Re:International Release Dates
by
macshit
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· Score: 2
So can someone tell me, why is Japan always the last place on earth to get these movies (by over a month in the case of LOTR TTT; better than 6 months I suppose...)?
Sucks.
-- We live, as we dream -- alone....
Re:International Release Dates
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
However, the movie having been produced by an American company and targeted primarily for an American audience with American English being spoken in the movie, the release date in the U.S.A. would be the most important date to give out.
Re:International Release Dates
by
zulux
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· Score: 5, Funny
So can someone tell me, why is Japan always the last place on earth to get these movies (by over a month in the case of LOTR TTT; better than 6 months I suppose...)?
It's revenge. Revenge for Japan getting all the cool toys years before we do.
I still can buy a Toshiba Libretto without spending an arm and a leg.
--
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Re:International Release Dates
by
Earthworm
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· Score: 1
Living in Japan, I just accept it and use the cheap video rental, but I guess an obvious part of the problem is subtitling, but why it takes longer than other countries using subtitle, I don't know.
Re:International Release Dates
by
hublan
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· Score: 1
It's revenge. Revenge for Japan getting all the cool toys years before we do.
They read your reply and now it's been postponed for two months (Feb 22).
If we start a cascade, maybe they won't see it until we've got "Return of the King" on DVD.
-- My spoon is too big.
About the movie (no spoilers)
by
DeafDumbBlind
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· Score: 2, Interesting
caught a press preview this week:
1) much more action than the first one 2) less dramatic/emotinal slowdown. 3) Golum is the best done CGI character to date.
can't wait to see it again
--
Jesus used to be my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
> Golum is the best done CGI character to date.
So Gollum is a cartoon character? LOTR:TT must be an animated film.
Why rush to see it again? Treasure Planet sounds more your style.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Malda's mom is a whore and she has back acne (aka bacne) really bad. Once I was fucking her from behind and she started to quiver, and a whole shit-load of zits on her back popped. Puss was dripping down her back and funneled into her asscrack, adcross her anus, and ultimately onto my dick where it made a nice lube.
Oh wait... that wasn't Malda's mom. It was his wife, my bad. Whatever.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
hermescom
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· Score: 1
In other words - less Tolkien, more dumbed down Hollywood.
Don't get me wrong, I liked the first movie, but it becomes such a better told story with the extended edition, when all the "dramatic/emotional slowdowns" that have been cut from the release version are added back.
After your post, I dread going to the theater on the 18th to see a pure action flick, a James Bond movie with swords and elves. And that would suck, since Lord of the Rings can be so much more than that.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
DunbarTheInept
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· Score: 3, Insightful
The problem with your analysis is that even in the original book form The Two Towers had more action and less development than Fellowship Of The Ring, so it's premature to blame this on "less Tolkien, more dumbed down Hollywood" especially when you haven't seen it yet. If this movie had an equal amount of slow melodrama as the first did, then THAT would be a departure from what Tolkien wrote.
--
Don't label something "offtopic" unless you know the topic well enough to tell what's on topic.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
TC+(WC)
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· Score: 3, Interesting
Actually... I was reading in Time (?) at the barber's that Jackson thinks, while it's still the stame story, that this upcoming movie is the least faithful of the three. He thinks, however, that it makes it a better movie than it would otherwise be.
Re:About the movie (no spoilers)
by
clarkc3
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· Score: 1
of course its the least faithful, the opening scene was cut out and added to a different movie;)
But in all honesty, people wouldnt like a strict following of the book format of this one, where the book tells what happens to one group, then the other halfway into the book. I dont think that would translate too well in a film where people will wonder, 'what happened to so and so?' and would not want to wait until an hour into the movie to see some of the charaters for the 1st time
We're Not Gay
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
The shame, the paranoia, the guilt, I'd experienced it all in highschool. I'd watch the other guys in the shower out of the corner of my eye, terrified I'd get an erection and be betrayed. After that you'd think I'd grow up and come out of the closet, but I pretended to myself as much as anyone else that I wasn't gay. I dated, I had sex, I got my first apartment, and still I looked at other guys out of the corner of my eye.
My friend Hunter wasn't gay. Slim, tall and attractive, women drapped themselves over him, and though he was too much of a gentleman to boast, I knew he'd had all the sex they could throw at him. Being slim and short, I'd had fewer adventures, but enough to know something was missing for me. I was surprised one night to discover that Hunter wasn't entirely satisfied with his sex life either.
We'd crashed at my place after too many beers, as we often did since he still lived with his parents. I only had a bachelor apartment, so I opened my bed and he crashed on the couch nearby as usual. I loved this arrangement because in the dark I'd feel myself get hard in the secrecy of my sheets, even if we just talked about work or chicks or whatever. Knowing he lay a few feet away in his boxers made me tremble quietly. I was only twenty after all.
"It's all about adventure, I guess," he said that night. "I mean, there's no challenge. You undo their bra and they pull it off. You're in bed before you know it. Wham bam!"
"I think you date a different type of woman from the ones I know," I said, knowing I sounded jealous but not caring.
"I...I mean, I find it more exciting if it takes a bit more work. Like if you have to win a strip poker game, or, well, if you have to restrain them." I could hear his blush. This was heady stuff to admit. I decided it needed a really frank reply.
"I'm into a little bondage with a willing partner," I said.
"Oh, me too! I mean, I don't want to rape anyone or anything like that. I'd be as happy if they tied me down. You know, so one of us had no choice but to go along. Just to spice things up a bit."
Bondage wasn't something I was for or against, but suddenly I had an image of my legs high in the air, my hands secured to the bed posts, and Hunter naked on top of me. My quiet tremble began.
"I've thought of that," I lied. "A little playful spanking, a little teasing. I've often wondered what it'd be like to be spanked."
"Yeah." He sighed that out, and I knew immediately that spanking had played a part in his fantasies. I had to pursue this. I may have felt guilty, but I wanted to see his near naked body again as I had when he had stripped down before he hopped into the sleeping bag on the couch.
"My problem," I said, trying to keep the quaver out of my voice and sound clinical. "Is that I don't know what's reasonable to expect from a spanking. If I fantasize giving or receiving forty slaps, is that too many?"
"I don't know. I've never spanked or been spanked. I guess you haven't either?"
"I was taking this chick from behind once and I gave her a playful swat. She groaned and pushed into me, which was great, so I gave her a few more. She asked me to stop but she went wild. We had a great fuck, but after that she gave me a lecture about all men being potential rapists and she never slept with me again."
"That's what kills me," said Hunter as he shifted in the sleeping bag. I tried to pierce the darkness with my eyes. Could I see a lump where his groin would be? "It's not that I want to dominate women. I'd love to be tied down myself. It's about playing a game. Making things more interesting. I mean, I bet you'd love to have a chick spank you as much as the other way around."
"Well, I think it's important if I'm to know if what I'm fantasing is reasonable. I'd love to know what it would feel like to get ten good swats on my butt. From anyone. Just to know, you know."
"Yeah, but no chick is likely to comply." Again I heard him shift. I knew he was as hot as a cat. I could picture those beautiful abs contracting and expanding as he moved. I'd seen him in the change room enough to know that a reasonable sized cock now brushed the inside of his boxers. He had to be hard.
"You know, I don't even care if it's a chick." I knew I was going way out on a limb here. "I mean, I'm just curious to know what ten good smacks feel like. I mean, you could give them to me. It's just about knowing if any of my fantasies are reasonable."
The room became heavy with silence, and I panicked for a moment, thinking I'd pushed things too far.
"Well, if all you want is to know what a spanking is like, I can give you one," he said. His voice sounded thick.
"If you don't mind. I know it sounds gay and all, but I just want to know, and like you said, no chick'll teach me."
"No, no, I know what you mean." He sat up quickly. His nude chest sculpted by the moonlight through my window; neither of us had chest hair. "It's a hard thing to ask. It's not that we're gay."
Hard! He didn't know the half of it. I sat up and tried not to look like I was trembling.
"No, of course not. But if you don't mind, I mean, I have to be naked for it to work."
"Oh, yeah, of course. Skin on skin is very important in this kind of game."
I stood on that cue even though I knew my my boxers would tent significantly. I paused for a moment, admiring my lithe frame in the weak light, before I slipped my boxers down to my ankles and stepped out of them.
"Bend over the chair here," he directed as he stood, pretending he didn't see my skinny seven-inch erection. He motioned me to my over-stuffed arm chair. I stepped up to the back and he pushed me over it until my hands pressed against the seat, my erection carressing the back of the chair. I knew I'd get pre-cum on the fabric but I didn't care. I was lost in the touch of his hand between my shoulder blades as he had pushed me down. Even after he let go my skin tingled in that spot.
The first slap only hit one cheek and weakly at that, but still I shuddered and I felt my sex twitch against the chair.
"Did that hurt?" asked Hunter.
I looked over my shoulder, enjoying the vulnerable feeling of being bent over beneath him. My eyes traveled up a leg of light hair to see him over me with one hand in the air, a young athelete with tented boxers. The secreted erection, so close but so obvious, made me wet my lips.
"No, it just kind of surprised me. I imagined spanking would be a lot harder."
"Like this?" He slapped my left buttock with more enthusiasm. "Or like this?" He slapped my right buttock. Both made me jerk, more because I wanted to rather than from any pain. I suddenly realized that I liked the spanking.
"Even harder." My voice came out as a hoarse whisper, choked with passion. I prayed he didn't notice.
"Uhm, little bitch is tough," he said as he delivered a good crack to my left cheek. This time my jerk firmly ground my organ into the chair until I pushed my behind back into the air. Hearing him call me a little bitch sent a thrill through my veins. Suddenly, as if he were an artillery man who'd found his range, he opened up on me. Six quick hard slaps on each buttock. That was over the ten I'd asked for, but I had no complaints. He stopped and began to massage my left buttock with one hand. It burned in reply.
"Did that hurt too much?" he asked.
I bit back a groan and fought to control myself. I could have pushed my cock into the back of that chair and ruined it with the half-dozen shots that wanted to burst forth.
"No, actually. In my fantasies I'd cry out in pleasure and pain, but I guess you'd have to slap harder and more to make that happen." I made no attempt to stand, and he switched to massaging my right buttock. I felt so open to him, so ready.
"I can make that happen." He grabbed my upper arm and pulled me around the arm chair. "Lie across my lap," he said after he sat down. My mouth went dry. I bent over his knees and felt my erection squash between his upper thigh and my stomach, taking most of my weight. He grabbed my hip and pulled me toward him, as if protecting me from slipping over his knees, but the manouver pressed my side into his erection. Did I even feel his hips thrust toward me?
He began to slap each buttock hard, and each time my jerking reaction thrust me into his leg and rubbed my side along his firmness. My buttocks began to feel hot, and the slaps really began to sting. Now I didn't jerk for effect, I spasmed in reaction to the slaps. They hurt! I bit my lip though, not wanting it to end until he was so hot that he'd rip off his shorts and impale me over the armchair right there. Finally a cry forced its way past my lips. He gave me three more good slaps, apparently enjoying each cry that ripped from me.
To my utter disappointment he stopped then, but he massaged my buttocks for a while, pressing in the fire. Lying naked over his knee like that, feeling him carress my behind, remains one of the best memories I have of sex. It didn't last however. He stood and gently helped me up, but then he hurried to the safety of his sleeping bag.
Suddenly I felt humiliated, but I decided to not be ashamed.
"Whew, that was hot," I said as I stretched in the moonlight, revelling in my nudity. I made sure I was profile to his line of sight so that if he looked my way he couldn't fail to see my erection. The glitter of his eyes betrayed him. He watched me alright. I swaggered back to my bed, letting my erection swing proudly back and forth, and I passed his couch as close as I could without tripping on it. Even in the dark he had to be getting a very good look. I lay down on top of my covers with my hands behind my head. There'd be no suspicious bulge in my covers if he looked my way. Nope, instead he'd see that flagpole shamelessly straining to point to the ceiling.
And look he did. He rolled onto his stomach and propped himself on his elbows to talk, young biceps bulging, firm pecs in a dark recess above the couch. Come to think of it, he often chatted with me this way before we drifted off to sleep. Now I knew he crushed an erection into that couch, but I wondered if this was the first time.
"So was it everything you expected?" he asked. I hadn't really expected anything, so I didn't have to lie.
"It was better. At first I thought I could take it forever, then I thought you couldn't make me cry out, then I felt humiliated. How about you, did you find your inner rapist?"
"I enjoyed it because you did. I tell you, it has nothing to do with wanting to dominate women. I just like the idea of restraint. I'd love to be restrained myself, even if she's going to do things to me that I'm not interested in. In fact, I'd like it better if someone tied me up and abused me against my will. I guess I'm looking for someone else's inner rapist. But no one wants to tie me up anymore than anyone wants to spank you. I mean, I'd love to know what it's like to be tied up and helpless, really helpless."
I noticed the change in his speech. He'd gone from talking about women to talking about 'someone'.
"I can tie you down if you like. One favour deserves another after all."
"Well, it's kind of wierd, but it's not like we're gay." His voice husked up. He sounded like he had difficulty talking. "It's just an experiment, like your spanking."
"Oh, of course. I've got some rope in the front closet. I'll get it."
As I reached into the closet I heard a shuffle and saw a flash of white skin as Hunter left the safety of his sleeping bag and lay down on my bed, his hands reaching for the bed posts.
I sauntered over swinging the end of the rope and took his wrist without a word, hoping my nudity made him nervous. He still hid his manhood in his shorts. I tied him tightly so as to save him faking helplessness.
"Can you free yourself?" I asked after I sat down on the bed beside him. My naked hip rested against his calf, my right hand on his knee. He struggled for a while, and I enjoyed the sight of lats twisting, biceps bulging, and abs crunching.
"No," he said at last. "You've done a really good job." His breath caught as my right hand slipped off his knee and up his inner thigh. I let it fall to the bed just below his crotch as if that had been the intended destination and brushing his thigh had been an accident; then I leaned over him and reached with my left hand up to his wrist, as if to check the knot. This brought my right forearm in contact with the base of his pole, again as if by accident, and my chest hovered over his stomach. Again I heard a sharp intake of breath.
I decided I needed more contact with that cloth-covered secret. I carried my left hand to his far wrist, but I had to turn onto my knees and stretch over him to reach it. My bare chest pressed into the material of his shorts, and I let the wetness at the peak of that tent drag between my nipples to my belly button before I sat back, dragging it up almost to my chin before I sat up. All quite accidental contact of course.
"Yes, quite firm," I said. "But I haven't taken care of your legs yet, and of course you must be naked." I grabbed the waist band of his shorts and pulled them slowly over slender hips, careful to trap his cock with the elastic until the erection pulled down against its desire to point at his toes. When it finally sprang free of the elastic it leapt up and slapped his stomach, drawing a hiss from Hunter.
I secured his ankles, dragging him tauntly spread eagle in the process. When I finished I felt a great peace. Willing or not, I intended to have my way with him: regardless of what he asked, regardless of what he desired. I was drunk now with passion rather than alcohol.
I stood with one finger on his leg and began to walk along the side of the bed, dragging my finger up his leg, dangerously close to his pubic hair, and up to his chest.
"Do you feel helpless?"
"Yes."
"Naked?"
"Yes."
"Vulnerable?"
"Very vulnerable." He swallowed noisily.
"You see I think you're a naughty boy. I think you've fanatasied doing awful things to unwilling victims."
"No," he gasped. "Only willing ones. Only things I'd be willing to have them do to me."
"But what if some girl didn't want to suck you while she was tied up. Wouldn't you force her?"
"I might if I thought she could handle it. I mean, you know, if she'd tied me down already and made me submit to forceful acts. If it were revenge."
"Like if she'd made you suck her boyfriend's cock?"
"Yes. I mean, if you want to feel really helpless, you have to have things done to you that you didn't think of. Things you wouldn't otherwise do. Oh my God!"
I'd straddle him while he talked, but I misjudged the length of that cock of his and as I got over him on all fours, my knees on either side of his hips, my balls brushed the tip of his cock. My face now hovered over his.
"Like being forced to suck cock?" I began to move my knees forward and sat on his chest, my cock waving in his face.
"It's not that we're gay," he replied, his eyes fixed on my cock. "But that would be one thing one guy could do to another to make him really feel helpless and used. It's the principle of having no choice but to..."
I rose up on my knees and leaned forward, silencing his prattle with the head of my cock. The warmth and wetness took me over. I gently sunk my fingers into his short hair and rested my face against the wall behind the bed for support, then I slowly pushed deep into his mouth. He struggled, whether for sport or protest I didn't care. I paused and pushed again. He shook his head weakly and made muffled complaints, but I pushed deeper anyway until I felt my pubic hair disturbed by his nose. I loved the feeling of his mouth; I loved the little motions of his head; I loved the muffled protests; I loved the power.
I slide back out of him and let him catch his breath.
"That's what she'd feel if you forced her."
"Wow, I mean, you went all the way in. My girl friend has never taken my whole cock in her mouth."
"Perhaps because your's is at least an inch longer and a lot thicker," I said as I worked my way back until I knelt between his spread legs so I could look at his cock.
"It's not that much bigger than yours."
"Sure it is, look." I placed my cock against his, rubbing them together as I lined them up. Both of us shuddered this time, and my tremble returned. His erection was a full cockhead longer than mine and somewhat thicker. He raised his head to look but had trouble seeing.
"It depends on where you line up the bottom doesn't it?" he asked.
"We're pretty much base to base as far as I can tell."
I rubbed our cocks together for a full minute as if trying to ensure they were properly lined up, but soon I feared even that motion would make me shoot all over his stomach. I had to do something that didn't involve my erection.
"I think I'll see if your girlfriend is a whimp or not," I whispered as I backed down the bed, letting the front of his erection slide up my stomach, over my chest until its head poked under my chin.
"What do you mean?" He also whispered and his breath came in short intermitant gusts. I sense a slight shudder and realized that he too trembled.
"It occurrs to me that one of the most humiliating things I can do to you now is suck your cock. You'll have to lie there and feel another guy give you pleasure, and if you close your eyes to try and pretend it's a girl, I'll brush my five o'clock shadow over your cock to remind you that it's a guy that's doing this to you." I didn't have much of a five o'clock shadow, but we both ignored that point.
"That's a good torture," he whispered. "Forcing gay sex on a straight guy who's tied...whow!"
I had silenced him by engulfing the head of his penis. I got my first taste of pre-cum other than my own. It didn't send me one way or the other, but the feeling of the helmet in my mouth did it all for me. I squeezed my lips just below the head where the foreskin must've been briefly attached, then I pushed down, forcing my tight lips farther and farther along that perfect shaft. I'd reached the half-way point when I felt the fat head push into the back of my throat.
'I can do this,' I thought to myself. I let go of the base of him and put my left hand behind my head. It may have only been symbolic, but I pushed down on my own head forcing myself deeper onto his cock. I gagged and pulled up a bit before I pushed myself down even farther. I loved pretending it was his hand forcing my head down. This inspired me to push to new depths. My jaw stretched wide from the girth, my throat gagged again but I fought it back as my eyes watered. I thought I would be defeated when I felt his pubic hair on my nose, but that wasn't enough for me. I gave one last Herculean shove until my nose buried itself in his pubic hair and pressed against his pelvis. I half-choked and pulled up quickly, but after lingering for a second with just his head in my mouth I again lunged down his shaft.
"Dude," he whispered in panic. "I'm gonna blow!"
I pulled off and hovered over his cock. "That's part of the torture," I whispered. "You want to really feel helpless? Really have things done to you that you don't want?"
"Oh God," was the only reply he was capable of. He flirted with an orgasm just from my breath on his manhood.
"I'm going to make you come with a cock in your mouth. You're going to taste it as you shoot." I turned around as I said this and knelt over his head facing back. He didn't need to be commanded to open his mouth, so I pushed my cock half-way down his throat before I leaned over him and rested my head on his hip so that I could look at his full prominence as I pushed in and out of his mouth, occasionally making him involuntarily protest when I buried myself to the hilt. It only took two or three thrusts and I couldn't last any longer. I trembled out of control and took him into my mouth. I kept as much bare chest and stomach contact between us as I could.
When I reached his base, my nose hovering over his scrotum and my throat and jaw protesting the size, I lost it. I jammed myself all the way into his mouth and shot many times, my erection spasming repeatedly in his mouth.
He gave a cry that was loud even with my manhood muffling it. His shout provoked more spasms from me and I nearly wept from the power of the orgasam. His erection jerked wildly in my mouth and warm saltines spurted into my throat. I held my breath as he kept pumping. He thrust up hard into me and gave that muffled scream again. I realized that I echoed him.
I let myself slip out of his mouth as I rose up off of him. The cool air caressed the wetness on me as I'm sure it did on him as well. I left him there to wonder: wonder what had just happened; wonder when I'd let him go; wonder if he wanted me to let him go. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer and returned to the main room.
I stood where he could see me in the moonlight coming through the sheer curtains, naked and half-erect, my penis refusing to go all the way down. I had a sip of beer, casually striking a pose that would make him think of a Greek statue. I enjoyed the sight of him, spread eagle and waiting. He too seemed to be having trouble losing his erection, and it pointed to his toes, ready to spring back into action. I realized that we weren't done.
"How'd you find it?" I asked. "Really being helpless. Did it make you feel guilty that you'd fanatazed doing things like that to people, or did it vindicate you. Do you think your victim would really just have loved it?" I rested the cold beer on his hip just to the right of his most sensitive area. He gasped and his penis twitched.
"I never said I wanted to do this to someone who wasn't into it. It wouldn't work for me if she was crying and really begging me to stop. I'd stop if she really wanted."
"But how do you know if she really wants to or of she likes pretending she doesn't want it."
"Like, I mean, I guess you'd have a code word. You know, red for stop and yellow for ease off a bit. I mean, if she's really into it, she won't use them, but I'd feel better if I knew for sure that no meant yes and all that."
"So that you'd know if you were really crossing the line." I slid the beer along up his stomach until I reached a nipple. He shuddered. He must be able to see that my erection rose with the conversation, twitching its way higher in time to his.
"Yeah, but it's hard to cross the line when you've tied up someone whose really into this kind of thing. I mean, look at you and me: you pushed me pretty far there and I never protested at all. I wanted to be pushed hard."
I took a big gulp of beer. My excitment had resulted in hardness, both mine and his. You'd think we hadn't come for days.
"Oh, I didn't push you hard," I said. "Oh, no, I haven't even begun."
He swallowed, his attention rivetted on my naked form as I untied his ankles. I grabbed his right leg under the knee and pulled it up toward his chest. When I had it as high as it could comfortably go I looped the rope around it and secured the free end to the bed post near his wrist. I did the same with the other leg.
He now lay with his arms outstretched and his legs high in the air, his buttocks and anus conspicuously exposed. I slapped his buttock and sent a shiver through his body. I decided he needed some more even though I'd have been happy just to rub my hands on those firm young buns. I settled for giving him his thrill by slapping them again.
"Beg me to stop," I whispered, looking for guidance.
"Never," he gasped. Now I knew he loved this so I opened up as ruthlessly on his buttocks as he had on mine, slapping until my hand hurt. His jerks went from fiegned to real, until finally I forced a cry from his lips. Still I slapped his red bottom, waiting for him to give in, but he held out until every slap produced a cry. I stopped for a moment, messaging in the fire and enjoying the curve of his behind, my fingers occasionally teasing near his anus. He whispered his cupitulation.
"Please, stop."
"Are you ready to be my bitch," I whispered. "My helpless slave existing only to let me use you for my own ends?" He hesitated so I gave him a good slap that made him arch his back and cry out. I wondered if he'd use the red light word now.
"I'm yours," he whispered with a shudder. "Do whatever you want. You've broken me to your will." Now I knew he loved it.
I got up, my hard on swinging urgently, and hurried to my secret stash where I found condoms and liquid KY. He couldn't see what I did in the dark but he felt the cool drops as they hit his scrotum and ran down over his anus. I dammed the little flood of lubricant with my finger just below his anus. He gasped as my finger slid up to his anus and pressed up toward his prostate. He fought it a bit, but I was gentle, massaging my way around him until he invited me in.
"Oh, wow!" he said as I buried my index finger to the hilt. I wanted to do more, make him feel more. I lunged for his cock with my mouth as I probed around that tight, hot place with my finger. He couldn't help himself. He thrust up into my mouth, burying his cock deep into me and thus involutarily rocking himself on my finger. I kept this up for several minutes, fucking him more liberally with my finger while he fucked my face. Suddenly he gave a grunt.
"Oh wow, dude! I can't believe it! I'm close again!"
I pulled my lips reluctantly from his manhood and sat back, easing my finger from him. I dripped more KY and caught the extra with two fingers this time. He sensed the change as they began to massage his rim together and he tensed up.
"Don't forget you're helpless. Resistance now is futile."
I pushed both fingers against his anus as he relaxed and accepted them in, although upon penetration he did gasp again.
"I've never felt so helpless," he whispered as I pushed my fingers deep into him.
"Oh, I'll show you helpless," I said as I withdrew my fingers.
I had wondered how I would approach this, whether I would try to keep it a secret till the last minute, but now I knew the best thing to do was to flaunt the next torture I intend to visit on him. He was ready for it.
I stood, shamelessly displaying my desperate erection, and held up the condom where he could see it, deliberately tearing open the wrapper. I placed the rubber over my penis and unrolled it, always ensuring that he had the best view.
"Oh wow, dude. You're going to..." He choked off in lust.
"You wanted to know what it would be like to feel completely helpless," I said as I climbed upon the bed and positioned my sheathed rod over his buttocks. He swallowed hard when he felt my head press against his most vulnerable spot. He shifted slightly, rotating his hips to raise his buttocks higher in the air and give me better access.
"I can't stop you," he whispered.
I thurst in, provoking a grunt from him because of the size of me and a grunt from me because of the tightness and heat from him. I'd never had a virgin before, male or female, and I suddenly realized that this was the first time for both of us. It only excited me more to know that he was losing his virginity with every push. I gave him a moment to adjust and shoved myself half way in, marvelling at how he squeezed my cock.
"Oh, wow! This is it," he whispered. "You're showing me what its like to be a completely helpless sex object." I leaned forward as he spoke, placing on fist on the bed on either side of his youthful chest, preparing to put some weight behind my next thrust. "Oh, God this feels...It's not that we're gay. It's about restraint and control and..."
"We're so gay," I whispered as I bore down, burying myself into him. When he opened his mouth to groan I plunged my tongue deep into him and began thrusting in and out with my penis as I passionately kissed him. We fucked with abandon.
"So gay," he whispered in my ear as I sucked on his ear lobe. "I'm so gay. I've wanted you so long. You've such a firm beautiful body. I'd do anything to be with you."
The dam had burst and his confession flooded out. It quickly became apparent that he, like me, had wanted to do every good looking guy in our high school. When he descirbed wanting to meld with me I knew we had to take it all the way. I gave him one last passionate kiss, muffling the cries I pushed out of him with a couple of hard thrusts, then I pulled out.
He looked disappointed as I untied his legs and stretched them out straight, but I knew he'd change his mind when I picked up another condom. I unrolled it over him, his eyes widening with understanding when I liberally dripped KY all over his hardness. Both of us would lose our virginity tonight.
I straddled him and played with the head of his cock against my anus, pushing down occasionally to get used to the size of him. He was thicker and longer than I was and I'd had no fingers to loosen me up tonight, although I'd come many times in the past with my own fingers probing those depths. This was going to hurt and somehow I wanted it that way, but I wanted a free and active partner: no more pretending we were expermenting with bondage. We were gay lovers.
As I reached up to untie his hands he took the opportunity to suck on my nipples. Now I knew he was with me. With his hands free he caught my shoulders, unable to contain himself. He pushed me down mercilessly and thrust up with everything he had. He might have gone astray but I arched my back and pushed down on target.
"Fuck!" I gasped. I felt like I'd just impaled myself on a baseball bat.
"Take it," he cried as he renewed his grip on my shoulders and pushed down hard. "Take it like I did." He hammered up into me with that fat spike. I cried out again and arched my back to help me drive down onto him. When I knew he had buried himself in me to the hilt I bent forward and locked him in a kiss. He buried his tongue into my mouth with the same passion that he thrust up with his cock.
"So gay," he gasped into me. "We're having perfect gay sex. I'm fucking you. Oh my God I'm gonna come inside you."
I frantacally grabbed my cock, not wanting to be left behind, but I'd only pumped it a couple of times when I blasted forth, ready or not. Semen pumped all over his chest and stomach and I cried out as I felt my anus contracting against him in time to my spurts.
"Wow!" he screamed as he lost it, slamming into me as his cocked jerked spasmodically inside me. I felt like a cowboy on a bucking broncho, holding on for dear life, loving the ride and praying for the end.
He slid out of me after he finished and I streched out on top of him, smearing my come between us and gluing us together.
"That's sex," he whispered as we drifted toward sleep. "I feel like I've never had it before. No girl ever sent me there. It was great."
"It's because we're gay," I whispered, loving the feel of every naked bit of him against me. "We're so gay."
Daily coverage?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Flamebait
How about some daily coverage of my cock? Cripes it would take a team of 100 people to cover that fucking thing it's so huge. I'd prefer 100 hotties to cover it with their tounges, those little cunts. Or Taco's filthy fucking mother, whichever.
For those of you who can't wait to see it on the 18th just may be in luck! There is a special screener happening the day before in San Francisco (at the Metreon) for $50. I guess it's some form of charity thing, I'm not sure; once I read that you get to see the movie Tuesday night I just kind of zoned out!
Here is the link: Special Preview Screening / Benefit for Amnesty International
More News
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Informative
Well, we have even more news coverage from Google News.
Yeah, let's see. Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings starting in 1940. I guess it reflects British immigration worries in 1950.
Tolkien's main characters are white. Why? It's a British epic story, set in Britain 7,000 some odd years ago. The "bad guys" are not actually humans, but orcs. That hardly constitutes racism.
Tolkien was contacted in 1938 by a German publisher interested in translating and printing a German edition of The Hobbit. Tolkien wrote a letter to his publisher expressing outrage at the idea that Jewish heritage might be a prerequisite for a German edition and didn't want to give proof he wasn't Jewish (although he did happen to have proof).
Since it was really his publisher who had to decide the issue, Tolkien wrote two letters, one politer and the other refusing to give proof of lack of Jewish heritage. Since the politer one still exists, it seems the more angry one got sent to the German publisher. Good for Unwin-Allen. These are letters 28 and 29.
Personally I should be inclined to refuse to give any Bestätigung [confirmation] (although it happens that I can), and let a German translation go hang. In any case I should object strongly to any such declaration appearing in print. I do not regard the (probably) absence of all Jewish blood as necessarily honourable; and I have many Jewish friends, and should regret giving any colour to the notion that I subscribed to the wholly pernicious and unscientific race-doctrine.
Tolkien's main characters are white. Why? It's a British epic story, set in Britain 7,000 some odd years ago. The "bad guys" are not actually humans, but orcs. That hardly constitutes racism.
Aside from the lack of resemblance between Britain and Middle Earth geographically, surely, it's racism on a grand scale, against -- for example -- orcs and people of dark complexion.
The Southrons, who I think not coincidentally are described as swarthy, are human allies of Sauron. Likewise the darker wood elves are less noble than the fair grey/high elves. Gandalf ascends from being "grey" to being "white".
So from Tolkien we get the following messages:
a) Purity of blood = purity of spirit. Thus the more Numenorean blood (or better yet High Elvish) in you, the better a person you are.
b) Race = personality. If you're an elf you're good. There are no evil elves. If you're an orc you're bad. There are no good orcs.
c) Dark skinned southerners are evil. (OK, that reflects British immigration policies...)
d) When thousands of orcs are slaughtered by the Riders of Rohan it's heroism. When orcs engage in similar behavior against humans its evil.
Now I don't think there's any real evidence Tolkien was anything more than casually anti-semitic (as were most Anglicans). There's a good deal of evidence that he lived in a world of white male Christian Oxford dons and this is strongly reflected in his novels. (Reread the "Return of the King" from a homoerotic perspective as a drinking game.)
Still, Tolkien was raised in South Africa and fought in WWI. A complete non-grasp of sex, race and politics is not entirely forgiveable in a highly educated scholar. E.g. it can scarcely have failed to negatively impact his professional work as a philologist -- what can be more political than language?
Re:More News
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
whatever insane and deluded politically correct world you happen to inhabit, i hope theres no roads to it from where i live.
There's lots to argue with here, but here's some highlights:
Gandalf ascends from being "grey" to being "white". That's stretching things a little, white vs. black (the colours) are long-standing symbols for good vs. evil.
Purity of blood = purity of spirit? The point of the trilogy was that Frodo (a hobbit, one of the lowest races) rose above all adversity and saved everyone else - and was able to resist the evil in the ring because his spirit was so pure!
Race = personality? Yeah, for pretty much every race except for humans. Humans were the only race that really had a personality. Humans could be good or evil (or indifferent), unlike the other races who all got stuck in a cast. Notice that some particular groups of humans were "evil" - they were still Human!!
I found this on the net, posted by "anna", and it sums up everything I'm trying to say perfectly:
When Sam meets the Southron who has died, there is a detailed and moving description of the Southron: "he came to rest in the fern a few feet away, face downward, green arrow feathers sticking from his neck below a golden collar. His scarlet robes were tattered, his corslet of overlapping brazen plates was rent and hewn, his black plaits of hair braided with gold were drenched with blood. His brown hand still clutched the hilt of a broken sword.". Sams thoughts then follow: "It was Sams first view of a battle of Men against Men, and he did not like it very much. He was glad he could not see the dead face. He wondered what the mans name was and where he came from; and if he was really evil of heart, or what lie or threats had led him on the long march from his home; and if he would not really rather have stayed there in peace.".
When being seen through Sams eyes, the Southron is given humanity and beauty.
And here we come to an essential aspect of Tolkiens "non-racism". It is Sam who is able to give humanity and beauty to this person. And it is Sam and Frodo alone who are able to defeat the Dark Lord by destroying the ring (requiring Gollums help of course). All the might and beauty of the Elvish kingdoms, the lineage of the Numenoreans - Gondor and Aragorn, all the beauty of Galadriel and Arwen - none of it is able to defeat Sauron. This is clearly depicted in the two chapters "The Black Gate Opens" and "Mount Doom". The only people which can defeat Sauron are Frodo and Sam. Tolkien clearly portrays that "superior racial heritage" is of no use. It is only humility, compassion and love - best portrayed by the characters of Sam and Frodo - which can defeat evil.
She is loose and she has back acne (aka bacne) really bad. Once I was fucking her from behind and she started to quiver, and a whole shit-load of zits on her back popped. Puss was dripping down her back and funneled into her asscrack, and ultimately onto my dick where it made a nice lube.
Oh wait... that wasn't Taco's mom. It was his wife, my bad. Whatever.
I'm going to this movie opening night and I'm very excited I saw an ent in a preview the other day and I'm excited, though anytime I see lord of the rings now I keep thinking about the MTV video awards version with jack black
"Elron:do you have the ring. Jack Black:yes, I have the ring, see thing is last night me and my buddies had a little too much meed, and ug we ended up at the piercing parlor, and uh long story short ~drops pants~ Boromir:it is a gift. jack black:your damn right it's a gift, it's called a prince albert, and it's MY PRECIOUS"
Wow didn't even know there was Vulcans in it!
by
Snaller
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· Score: 1, Redundant
I mean look at all those guys with point ears!
-- If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
Would explain a thing or two.
by
WasterDave
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· Score: 4, Funny
So that's where all our international bandwidth has gone,/. strikes again.
opening night of Nemisis, bring a lightsaber and look confused.
-- "Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
Super-Hero Prime Minister
by
coloth
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· Score: 4, Interesting
The prime minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, is showing off her country, as featured in the LOTR movies, by jetboating, ice-picking, rappelling into sinkholes, and overall doing some incredible things for a head of state.
Re:Super-Hero Prime Minister
by
coloth
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· Score: 2
Hey, Bush gets out a bit!
Yeah, well maybe if he actually did some exciting and adventurous stuff like PM Helen Clark, he could let out some of that pent-up aggression!
Just keep him away from those pretzels.
--
Machines take me by surprise with great frequency. -A. Turing
Re:Super-Hero Prime Minister
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Makes George Bush look sedentary!
As a taxpayer of the United States all I can say is: good. I want my tax dollars spent for things that better society like $200 toilet seats.
Re:Super-Hero Prime Minister
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Actually, Helen Clark is just your Prime Minister. According to who you listen to, your head of state is either the Governor-General or Her Majesty the Queen.
Re:Super-Hero Prime Minister
by
Mogster
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· Score: 1
Well Actually... Our Government is headed by Helen Clark and they run the country (for better or worse depending on your political leanings). The Governor General is the Queen's representative which is now essentially no more than a titular position with the only real power being to disolve parliment under very limited circumstances.
-- ACK NAK RST
Triumph the Wonder Dog and Star Warsq
by
mwmurphy
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· Score: 4, Funny
Man, you guys need wedgies. I will be a kickass movie but you will get what's coming to you if I see you in costumes outside the theater.
Re:How can there be spoilers, I read the books
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Okay smarty-pants, here's a spoiler: They're already planning the next trilogy!
Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
jerde
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· Score: 5, Insightful
So, um... get this:
Naming this movie "The Two Towers" is hate speech, according to the folks at www.twotowersprotest.org.
Why?
You insensitive clod, it's because "The Two Towers" somehow reminds us of the World Trade Center towers. (Never mind that the towers never went by that name. They were the "Twin Towers" in some circles. I never heard "Two Towers")
I can't find any references to protests about the title of "K19: Widowmaker" -- talk about an insensitive title!
Sigh.
I'm wandering even farther off topic, please excuse me:
My grandfather just passed away, and he was cremated. Garrison Keillor, in his "News from Lake Wobegon" tonight on the Prairie Home Companion radio show, told an extended joke about a grandma who would take "grandpa" (an urn) down off the shelf around christmas time, so he could spend time with the family. Think about it -- this can be quite funny, all the odd situations that go on with an urn in the picture.
Obviously, I had rather mixed feelings hearing this, given my family's recent loss.
But should I be mad at Keillor for telling this joke? Is it in poor taste?
I'm willing to say of course not! Humor, art, literature, movies talk about stuff that happens in life.
You could try to restrict the content of art forms so as not to offend anybody... but you'd never succeed.
This two towers thing is JUST A COINCIDENCE, and not to obvious a one at that. It never even ocurred to me until I'd read about this protest.
Stop to consider that sometimes protests like this just make the whole situation worse.
Off the soapbox... sorry for the rant...
(Go out and enjoy the movie!!! I got my tickets already.:)
- Peter
-- INsigNIFICANT
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Klerck
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· Score: 0, Funny
YHBT!
I wrote that FAQ and the original petition that the page was based upon.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Corbin+Dallas
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· Score: 1
LOL, that link is so stupid! They pretend that they're trying to be "sensitive" by eliminating the Two Towers title, while plastering the "Two Towers" phrase all over the website. Not to mention that thier logo shows a trade center in flames... yeah, that's being sensitive alright.
-- Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
wurzle
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· Score: 0
it is a joke you idiot
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Trollificus
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· Score: -1, Troll
You're either new to the intarweb or you're a complete fucking idiot.
That protest page was a joke. YHBT!
--
"People should be allowed to keep midgets as pets."
- Gov. Jesse Ventura
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
nickclarke
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· Score: 2, Informative
from the FAQ:
We believe that Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema's actions are in fact hate speech. The movie is intentionally being named The Two Towers in order to capitalize on the tragedy of September 11. Clearly, you cannot deny the fact that this falls under hate speech. We believe that if they will not willingly change the name, the government should step in to stop the movie's production or to force a name change.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the second book named 'The Two Towers' - Therefore, the movie is intentionally being named 'The Two Towers' because that was the name of the book its based on. That has nothing to do with capitalising on the tragedy. Are they going to try and get the name of the book changed as well?
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
You're posting at 1 now? Good work.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Offtopic
Hmmm, there is a very poorly hidden link on that site to:
http://t.extreme-dm.com/?login=ttpo
I would hate to think what some skilled/.er could do with that...
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
sckeener
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· Score: 2
asking if they also wanted the publisher to retroactively collect all the books that had the title in it including the ones published before 2001....
-- "Only one thing, is impossible for god: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Obviously they should.
Little known to the public, Tolkien was a psychic who specialized in predicting terrorist attacks on the city of New York... and intentionally named his book 60-70 years ago to capitalize on the future event.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
RAMMS+EIN
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· Score: 1
dude...every time I read those/. posts about how rong it is to have called the movie (or even the book) The Two Towers it just makes me afraid they are _really_ gonna do it again (oops) when the movie comes out...
-- Please correct me if I got my facts wrong.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
karandago
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· Score: 1
God, how can you all be so insanely dense. It's obviously not hate speach, it's prophecy. An evil presence coming from the south east??? How can you not see.
Sauron is Bin Laden, Gandalf is Dick Cheney (remember how he disapeared for a bit... just like the balrog thing), Aragorn is Colin Powell, Frodo is George Bush, Helms Deep is Iraq.
It's all so obvious. Though I'm not sure how we're going to get the giant eagles to help us in the final battle against Bin Laden's forces.
Re:Don't forget the "hate speech" link
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Really, it gives it away in the faq where it says: "The movie is intentionally being named The Two Towers in order to capitalize on the tragedy of September 11"
Sleep and Map of Middle Earth/NZ
by
AndroidCat
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· Score: 3, Informative
When I went to the map of locations I looked for the dot marked "Author's house". You'd have to be a Samurai Cat fan to understand. Or.. Let's see, good art, no maps, hurm no luck. Ah well, good down to the local shop and buy one. (Don't just flip through it to see the maps or you will be Banned For Life!)
Oh yeah, the sleep part - knew I was forgetting something.
-- One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Everyone else is posting links and karma whoring(one, the other, or even both) so I'll join them!
Slashdot.org has links to an article, plus comments with links to other sites giving even more information on LOTR:TTT.
Slashdot comes in one size and is _not_ quicktime! Sorry!
It's out... On Kazaa!
by
Alien+Venom
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· Score: 3, Funny
It's already out on KaZaA, I saw it!
It was a 200k executable file -- file compresion has gone so far these days!:P
hello
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
hello! please mod this comment down to -1. I am continuing to do my part to ensure that slashdot's signal to noise ratio remains very low!
Not just plot spoilers, visual spoilers too!
by
Polyphemis
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· Score: 3, Interesting
Chill out, man. While I do agree that the book should be read first, it should be noted that the movie isn't a perfect translation from the book. For FOTR, the whole love story was practically squat in the book, there was no Lurtz, Frodo wasn't the one that found the password, etc. I realize those aren't huge plot points but there are a lot of departures from the book.
And apart from that, there's simply the whole visual aspect of things being spoiled. I don't recall seeing that huge, badassed 3D Balrog in the book, for example. Obvious, but I think that it's a pretty good point. I've been trying to minimize my exposure to this movie, PARTICULARLY with the Ents, just so I can behold their total coolness on the big screen. That'd still be just as much a spoiler as if I hadn't read the book.
Your real point is still quite valid though. Any self-respecting human that hasn't read LOTR yet should buy a copy immediately:)
Re:Not just plot spoilers, visual spoilers too!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 1, Insightful
So true. Sadly I had never heard of LOTR until the first movie came out....please don't kill me. I've also had my head buried in technical manuals and programming books for the last 5+ years and forgot how good a novel can be. So after seeing the first movie, on DVD mind you (I missed on the big screen), I decided to read the books.
I have since read The Hobbit and The Fellowship of the Ring. I loved them both. I struggled trying to decide whether to read The Two Towers before or after the movie. If I read it before then I will probably not like the movie as much, how could it match my own imagination?? If I see the movie first then my imagination will be tainted by someone else's vision. I decided to avoid the poison and read the book first. This way it will be my adventure that I experience and not Peter Jackson's. I have read the first have in the last two days and will try to finish it before the movie starts next week.
Reading what I have already read, I am more anxious to see the movie. I can't wait to read The Return of the King. If I read fast enough I may even finish before the 18th!!
Re:Not just plot spoilers, visual spoilers too!
by
bkhl
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· Score: 1
It isn't to late to see _The Fellowship of the Ring_ on a big screen. It will be in the cinemas until the _The Return of the King_ goes up.
As the movie is expicitly aimed to people who have read the book, I think you can be assured that your experience of the film will be enhanced by having read the book beforehand.
I'm reading through _The Two Towers_ right now, in time for the premiere, but for me it's about the twelwth time.
Re:Not just plot spoilers, visual spoilers too!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
I don't think that there are any theaters near my house that still have FOTR playing. I first saw it on my powerbook of all things. While it is not the same as the BIG screen, the sound was much better with headphones. The scene with Galadriel and her eyes scared the shit out of me at 3AM!! hehe.
Re:Not just plot spoilers, visual spoilers too!
by
thgreatoz
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· Score: 0
I just hope to God that the Ents are still IN this one, and not written out like poor Tom Bombadill-o!
-- When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarves began to suspect Hungry.
I'm Gimli and I'm a fuckin' dwarf
Killin' motherfuckers from the south to the north
That's not Mirkwood I'm chopping with my battle axe
And I'm on an orc stampede like Shadowfax
I think things like this need to be encouraged as much as possible. They have an MP3 download. And they also sample the immortal Ballad of Bilbo Baggins by Leonard Nimoy.
holy shit. I hesitate to use this word, but I cannot resist. Thats fscking l33to
On Kazaa! Lord of the rings watches you
by
Syncdata
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· Score: 2
And it only contained 15 trojan horses! Wow! What a deal!
-- "Inattention makes clowns of us all" -Bean
Re:On Kazaa! Lord of the rings watches you
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gl4ss
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· Score: 2
lotr: trojan edition.
with hercules and all your other favourite ancient greek heros.
hades makes one bad ass sauron.
-- world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
Re:On Kazaa! Lord of the rings watches you
by
Codifex+Maximus
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· Score: 2
Herakles? He wasn't in the Trodian war.
Try Akileos, Aias, Paris, Oddysseos, etc...
-- Codifex Maximus ~
In search of... a shorter sig.
There's daily coverage on stuff.co.nz as well
by
Karora
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· Score: 4, Interesting
Stuff also has daily coverage. This is the site for the major Wellington newspaper, The Dominion Post, (among others) and Wellington's really where the major LOTR action has been in New Zealand, especially since it's where Peter Jackson lives.
...heellpppp! I've been captured by little green penguins!
Re:There's daily coverage on stuff.co.nz as well
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
"http://slashdot.org/stuff.co.nz"
Nice bad link, dumbass.
Just a quick message...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You all suck, I'm extremely cranky, I'm sick of work and I want to go home.
Also, you all suck.
Dirty Linux Hippies
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Troll
Attn Slashdot moderators;
It has come to my attemtion that most of you are unkempy, dirty, bearded linux hippies who hug trees and live in your parents basements. This is socially unacceptable.
For gods sake, move out, get a life and a job. And have a shower.
(Michael, this means *you*!)
Re:Dirty Linux Hippies
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Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
And a happy fuck you to you too, bitch.
Re:Dirty Linux Hippies
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Thanks Michael, your post made my day. Hook, line and sinker.
THIS IS MICHAEL
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: -1, Flamebait
I'm sorry, I will not be having a shower, as that would clean all the shit and cum off me that Rob Malda has produced. I will continue to live in my parents basement and use linux because I enjoy gay sex and eating cock.
In Soveit Russia
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Lord of the Rings isn't for FAGS!
Re:In Soveit Russia
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Sure it is!
I mean, with Frodo and Merry being a 'couple' in real life, a gay Gandalf, and some bisexual elves and humans populating the movie, this is one of the gayest movies ever made. Not to mention all that male-bonding, especially the Frodo-Sam relationship.
Meaning that outside of Soviet Russia it *is* for fags? Cool.
Hint: Soviet Russia ceased to exist in 1991.
How come Grauman's Chinese Theatre is not showing?
by
antdude
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· Score: 3, Interesting
Does anyone know why the famous Grauman's Chinese Theatre (aka Mann's Chinese), in Hollywood, CA, is not showing LOTR movie? Same thing happened with the last movie. Yet, it is currently showing Star Trek: Nemesis. The theatre did show last two Star Wars movies. This theater is a perfect place for LOTR movies and big revenues. This calendar of events does not show this movie listed.:(
-- Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
The real news is.
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Can't wait for Dec. 18???
So what.
The real news is that this movie is gayer than Rob Schneider in "The Hot Chick".
Re:The real news is.
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Gayer, and better. And thank god for that.
And for a great picture of what Aragorn and Merry get up to when they're out of costume and in front of cameras, go here:
Re:Real Link (Oops, mangled the tag last time)
by
Fishstick
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· Score: 2
Ohm that is classic! Completely forgot about that one. I remember John Stewart said something like that when they showed that on the Daily Show.
I also remember Bush's sound bite from that as well (Think he was looking across the DMZ at NK at the time, right?)
something like "I don't need these binoculars to see that they are evil!"
--
There is much cruelty in the universe, John. Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
American English?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Insightful
Most of the actors are either English Acting Knights, New Zealanders, Australians or Brits. The Americans that ARE in the film put on Brit accents. Where does the "American English" come in exactly?
IN SOVEIT NEW ZEALAND
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Michael dresses up as Gollum and put his fingers into his "ring".
For best results: Books, then movies.
by
Admiral+Burrito
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· Score: 4, Insightful
If I read it before then I will probably not like the movie as much, how could it match my own imagination??
I wouldn't worry too much about that. I've read the books several times before watching the movie, and I would say that Peter Jackson et al did very well in bringing the book to life. Sure the movie has lots of things missing, and the occasional thing done not very well, but all in all a good job that even surpassed my imagination in some places.
I think the book touched me emotionally far more than the movie ever could. Tolkien's writing gives a supernatural splendor to the the most common things, contrasted against the looming darkness. The movie made me gawk at the amazing visuals.:) Book, then movie, and neither will take away from the other.
After reading the trilogy and watching all three movies (after they're released of course), go and read the Silmarillion. Read it more than once - the style of writing is very matter-of-fact, which makes for hard reading, but the second time is easier. It is truely epic, and if you manage to follow it you'll look at the story in the Lord of the Rings with a new perspective.
101st post!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
One-hundred-and-first POST!
Correction
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
It's either GNU/hippies or GNU/Linux, but not Linux hippies.
At the top of this and every page on/. right below the logo it says "news for nerds" I think that is sufficient to explain why anything about TTT (no matter how trivial) is front page news that matters (to nerds).
I have been a great fan of LOTR since the first American release of the books in the 60's; my wife actually has the first edition - she had it imported from England when she was a teenager after reading WH Auden's original review.
We had both thought that doing justice to this on film was impossible and were viewing the Peter Jackson effort as likely to be a great flop.
How glad we are that we were wrong. These films are magnificent and capture the greatest story of the 20th century. We have watched FOTR several times now, and are amazed how well it has held up.
I cannot wait until we can put all 3 films on a dvd changer and let them run consecutively.
Re:The Two Towers
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Oh, yeah baby! 10 straight hours of Tolkien goodness...
I consider the Silmarillion the best of the lot. Instead of just one story spanning three books (albeit a great one), you have dozens that feel just as detailed in a single volume. Tolkien combines most of the major mythologies to bring this one to us, and he does an amazing job. Don't stop with the Silmarillion, though, go on the Unfinished Tales and the rest. There are another dozen or so books published from his journals, and they contain a lot of unpublished parts to each, and earlier versions (Strider was a hobbit named Trotter). After reading the Silmarillion et al. you gain a whole new understanding of the events of the Third Age (Hobbit, LotR). LotR becomes a whole lot more impressive once you know the events that lead up to it.
I really hate to spoil a thing like the lens-cap photo, but accuracy has always been more important to me than anything else.
For those who haven't already seen the link, here is a link to a site which describes night-vision binoculars of the type Bush is using in the photo. Executive Summary: The photo looks funny, but Bush is doing nothing wrong.
I like a good chance to mock Bush Jr. as much as the next guy, but it has to at least be fair.
Silmarillion, then LotR again
by
XNormal
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· Score: 2
Reading LotR again after reading the Silmarillion is a very different experience. You suddenly spot lots of references and everything fits into a bigger scheme.
Highly recommended.
--
Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
Minor Nit: Tolkien HATED allegory
by
FreeUser
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· Score: 3, Interesting
Yeah, let's see. Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings starting in 1940. I guess it reflects British immigration worries in 1950.
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic here or not (apologies if you were), but...
Tolkien would likely take great offense at this characterization, were he alive and able to hear (read) it. He truly disliked, one could perhaps even say DESPISED, allegory, and emphatically stated time and time again that his mythos was in no way allegorical about any of the political, social, or economic conditions of the time. It was intended as a MYTHOS drawing upon the rich historical and cultural heritage of Britain, and unlike so many novels of the era, had ABSOLUTELY NO MESSAGE with respect to current potitics, economics, or social commentary WHATSOEVER.
Other than that, I think you post is dead on (and find the tidbit you bring up about German translation very interesting).
I've already seen The Two Towers as part of a special screening for Electronic Arts employees. I submitted the following review to/., but it was rejected:
I've also saw it at the avant-première in Paris last tuesday and two words: too long !
And can anyone tell me why they didn't choose to put a resumé of the first movie, I mean I've seen the first one but the movie opens directly with the last shot of the first movie (hobits walking in the snow..) and it's was diffiult to "get in" (don't know the english expression) the movie without a quick intro on what was going on just before.
Otherwise the party was really great... just in front of the eiffel tower, nice dj's, nice girls (liv I love you) and free champagne and fois gras till 6 in the morning !
Brazilian Line Parties
by
Nasheer
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· Score: 3, Informative
And if there are any Brazilian Tolkien fans who read./, don't forget to have a look at the scheduled Line Parties for Brazil.
And going farther, if there is any Tolkien Fan who reads/. AND lives in Recife, I'll see you at the Multiplex Tacaruna Line Party. For the ones who live in the South Zone, there is one party at the Multiplex Recife.
I'll be there dressed as a Dark Night (No, this is not a joke. I did the same Jan, 1st, in the release of Fellowship Of the Ring.)
-- -
Please, ignore everything written above.
Don't drink and post!
by
mwmurphy
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· Score: 0, Offtopic
Ha ha ha, I just got notified that there was a reply to some smartass comment I made at 3:18 last night (morning?) that I don't remember making. I get in more trouble that way...(e-mail can be dangerous if not used sober)
Dec 18? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Thanks to knowing people, I get to see it TOMORROW (Dec 16) in the 'sneek preview'!!!!!!!!!! Have fun waiting. I'll make sure to post a full spoiler-filled review.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
In the Land of Mordor...
by
FoxMcCloud
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· Score: 1
Sauron watches YOU !
-- bool Marketoid::IsGood(){return IsDead();}
How about "Rocket Man"
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
What do you mean? That wasn't Gollum?
"Hate speech" my ass - YHBT
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
You have fallen for one of the more successful trolls in recent memory.
yaaaaaawn, it's back?
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
Tolkien was a racist tard.
NZ premier
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
The New Zealand premier is on Wednesday night (GMT+12).
There's a live webcam here: http://www.wellingtonnz.com/cam/webcam.html
The big white building is The Embassy, the street will be closed from midday. enjoy.
In Soviet Russia...
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 0
...we had to build our own towers.
Re:How come Grauman's Chinese Theatre is not showi
by
Dirtside
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· Score: 2
Most likely it's just a business matter between the companies involved. Mann Theatres owns the Chinese, and the Mann Village theater in Westwood (just off-campus from UCLA), and TTT will be showing there. Maybe they figured that Nemesis would be a big enough draw to justify having it at the Chinese this week, since their other big-ticket theater (the Village) would have TTT. (They were wrong; Nemesis did poorly this weekend, but if you could predict that in advance, you'd be smarter than every other person who ever worked in the entertainment industry...)
So it did poorly; why not dump it for TTT? Alas, the contracts between theaters and studios usually require that first-run movies show for two to four weeks minimum, and that commitment is usually made several weeks, if not months, in advance. Nemesis opened on Friday; there's no way it could be bumped for TTT by the following Wednesday, no matter how poorly it did.
Granted, it would be a great experience to see it there, but I personally prefer the Village. (The sound is louder, for one thing.:))
-- "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
... C++ offers even more flexible control over the visibility of member objects and member functions. Specifically, members may be placed in the public, private, or protected parts of a class. Members declared in the public parts are visible to all clients; members declared in the private parts are fully encapsulated; and members declared in the protected parts are visible only to the class itself and its subclasses. C++ also supports the notion of *_______friends*: cooperative classes that are permitted to see each other's private parts.
-- Grady Booch, "Object Oriented Design with Applications"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Slashdot Mirror
fhqwgads!
That movie is going to be so bad-ass...and it transcends all boundaries. I know many non-geeks who are as excited to see it as me. Good job Peter Jackson!!!!
its a movie, not an ongoing world event...
For the new LOTR:TTT Trailer seen on TV with MAJOR SPOILERS (ents, winged nazgul, ending of Battle of Helms Deep), head here (quicktime):
Large Size
Medium Size
Small Size
To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
made me watch lord of the rings. it was okay. i mean it was gorgeous and all but i never got into the whole mid earth thing. I'm not toally sure how this made the front page though? Some site has news on Lord of the Rings? Weee!
I already have my Tickets to LoTR TTT midnight show, got a group of geeks I'm going there with, now I just need to decide if I want to be an ubergeek and dress up as a character from it.
-- Any comments seen here are not mine, but a mixture of alchohol and lack of sleep.
Oops, nearly forgot the frame by frame analysis link of the preview:
Frame by Frame
To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
I have, I suppose, like all men, wondered what it would be like to have a larger cock. I have, once again, like a lot of people seen the 'freaks' in porno movies who have horse like dicks and thought to myself - 'That can't be normal, most people aren't like that surely.'
But in the back of your mind, you always wonder. Now let me say from the outset that I have nothing in my pants to brag about and although through the years I seem to have been able to satisfy most of the women I have been with, there has never been more than one or two who have, afterwards, made favourable comments either about my length, girth, performance or stamina although they have commented favourably about the over all performance. Perhaps they were just being kind not saying much at all.
Yes, I could say it is because they were so fucking exhausted, they couldn't say anything, but of course that would be lying. I suppose though, if I think back amongst all the women I have had sex with, similarly, there have only been a few that I have thought to be outstanding for one particular reason or another and with them, I have made that very obvious.
I don't think any of them have had particularly small cunts - all the more reason for doubting myself. There has, however, been a couple that have had particularly well-developed cunt muscles and that has made all the difference for both of us. Once again, I now wonder why that was necessary.
There was another whose cunt inner walls were very ribbed and that was sensational. The only trouble with that was that those ribs were made to make you come and come I did. Luckily she was in the days when I was young enough to recover quickly and start all over again and again.
There was another who much preferred me up her arse mind you she had a huge cunt. Her husband once told me "It was like chucking a bit of string in a Cathedral."
There was another who had bushes of body hair everywhere she could cover up. That I found to be magnificent; I couldn't get enough of her.
I suppose that brings me inevitably on to the issue of size and my size in particular. Well here goes. As I have, for as many years as I can remember, been aware of my size and the issue of whether or not I was big enough, I can tell you that I always seem to have been around 7.5 - 8inches long with 4.5 - 5 inches in girth (that girth measurement is not around the head of my dick because I know that is bigger by about another half inch or so and therefore does not give the true measurement over all).
I therefore thought it was about time to go in search of facts and figures of prick sizes and on methods of improving what I have. With the web now so available to us all and virtually anything you want to research on there, I found no trouble in coming up with many different solutions to my 'problem'.
However, a new problem then developed. Did I want to spend a lot of money on contraptions for the outside of my body and tablets and potions for the inside of my body that might not work anyway? Many years ago, I had had one of those suction pumps that were great fun and made your dick look VERY impressive for as long as you had it on, but as soon as it came off, you were back to square one.
I really did give that one a go for a long time simply because I could see the result I wanted to achieve when it was in operation, but try as I might, it just didn't work for me. One of my friends who I confided in (after a particularly fine foursome where it was difficult for everyone not to be exposed to everyone else) suggested pills.
After some thought, I really couldn't understand how any pill would be able to aim just for your prick and enlarge that, surely there were other similar muscles in your body. And in any case all the pills were 'natural' or 'herbal' and easily available without prescription and that made me sceptical as well.
But then I came across a couple of exercise programmes on the web that were not going to cost me anything and could easily be done in a few minutes of privacy. I won't tell you the names of the sites I got these off otherwise you are going to think this is some kind of advert and not fact at all. However, if anyone wants to contact me, they can and I will give the name of the site to you then.
I started about three months ago and it seems to be having an effect. You can't just do the exercises on their own, you also need to strengthen up the muscle between your balls and your arse for the greatest effect - I will go in to that later.
Each day, I do a warm up whereby I take a shower and whilst still in there, I lather up the old tool and put my thumb and forefinger in an 'O' around the base and pull away from me. I found it best to have my hand the way round that kept the rest of my fingers furthest away from my body when I pulled.
I didn't pull my dick straight out from my body, it always felt most effective when I pulled it almost straight down. I would take each pull slowly so it took me about five seconds to pull down from the base to the head.
I, of course, have always found this to be quite stimulating and would become semi erect by the twentieth to thirtieth pull. Unfortunately, I have never been able to determine if this will slow down the effect I am having on my size or not, perhaps someone could let me know.
After I have done it with one hand about fifty times (always lathering him up frequently as I go) I change hands and pull it down the other way. I am not suggesting that you should pull it slowly down to one side and then the other, I always try to pull it straight down as I have never had any kind of bend on mine.
I suppose that if yours has got a bend in it and you don't like that, (heaven knows why, I have always thought that looked great on blokes, but there again, I don't know if it effects the way you can fuck) you could always slowly pull your dick in the opposite direction to the bend and see if that helps.
Once you have done about fifty pulls with both hands, you need to then gently play with your dick, (not a bad thing) whilst still in the shower to kind of let it get over what you have just done to it.
Just a couple of words of warning, if you are going to give it a try but have had in the past or can get hold of any professional advice now that suggests that, for what ever reason you shouldn't try it, then don't, it just might not be for you. But if you feel confident that it is safe for you and you would like to give it a try, build up to the exercise, don't go mad and do too much straight away.
I must admit, I did it too hard, for too long to begin with and it damn well hurt. My prick went a bruised colour and I felt sure I had done some kind of permanent damage. Luckily I hadn't, but it taught me a very good lesson. I started the second time with just ten pulls with one hand and then the next day, ten pulls with the other.
Soon, I was up to ten pulls per day with both hands and gradually, I have tightened my grip to pull harder as the weeks have gone by, also increasing the number of pulls.
Obviously, this is what works for me and everyone is different. If your prick is used to a lot of battering then you should be able to start stronger that if it isn't, but take it easy and take it steady.
I have now been able to graduate to being able to do it anywhere at anytime I have privacy, I no longer need some kind of lubricant, but my first pull of the day is always in the shower, with the warmth and with the soap, that kind of warms me up for the day. It doesn't take long to whip the old trousers down, say when you go for a pee, instead of standing at a stall, go into a cubicle and you can do a quick pull as well.
The other main thing to watch out for is where you are pushing the blood that is already in your prick as you begin each pull down from the base. Obviously, as your grip gets tighter and you pull down harder, you are going to trap the blood and try forcing it out the end - ouch!!!
For those of you like me who have a foreskin, you will find that it tends to have a semi permanent redness about it as though it is sore and to a certain extent it is. For those cut guys, I don't know what to say because I don't know any cut guys who are doing the same exercises.
What I have tended to start doing as the girth has improved is to continue with the downward pulls, with an ever increasing grip, but not go to the knob end. I now usually stop half way down, pull my foreskin back and then continue with the pull. I only ever go as far as the head. I have never continued my pull over it.
My pulling sessions now normally finish with an extended pull for the final time. That is to say, when I decide I have had enough and things are starting to get a bit tender (which they can if you don't always use lube), the last gripped pull reached the head and I stay there, still pulling for say another ten or fifteen seconds and then slowly let go.
My relaxation period (when I am not at home) always tends to be taking hold of him and gently squeezing him a dozen or so times until things feel back to normal (don't forget, this can be quite exciting and when you leave the loo, you don't want to be walking around the office with a damn great lob on, do you - or do you?).
What effect has all this had? Well, I think it has changed me in several ways, both physically and mentally. First of all, the one you have all been waiting for, what has it done to my dong?
Well when you consider that all these 'enlargement' sites tell you that although you will see change in a few weeks, for the best effect, you must keep doing it for at least a year. I can report that there is not much change in length - you remember I used to be 7.5 - 8 inches (could I really claim 8, well sometimes, just perhaps, maybe if I was quick enough with the ruler) well now, on many occasions there is definitely eight, perhaps a tad more, or is that just my imagination?
But it is the girth where there has been significant change - you remember it was 4.5 - 5, well now I can truly claim an increase to 6 inches at least and you can really feel the difference. When it is flaccid, it used to be about 3 - 3.5 inches, now it is 4 - 4.5 inches dependent on the temperature, you men will know what I mean by that.
And it seems to have been noticed as well (and this is where the mental effect comes in), because the girth has changes size, so has the head, although I have not measured the head yet when fully erect, taking into consideration the increased girth measurement, I would say that it is now in the region of 6.5+ inches, and that shows!!!
When I now have sex, there is a lot more squirming takes place by my partner when we are trying to get me up inside her. She can definitely feel that something is very different and when I am fully up inside of her, she shakes gently, holds me perfectly still as far up inside her as she can get me and squeezes him a lot more with her cunt wall muscles.
When she finally lets him go so that we can start moving, she now loves the feeling of the rim of the head of my dick scraping along the inside walls of her fanny. She also seems to be a lot noisier when she cums.
Now the other thing I thought I better mention is that muscle just behind your balls - I can't remember what it is called but I think it was once referred to as the PA muscle, but there again, it doesn't really matter what it is called as long as you exercise the right one.
All the sites I have found say you must exercise this along with the other pulling exercises and the way to do this is by clenching your arse cheeks together time after time after time. The way I checked which one it was, was to wait until I went for a pee and stopped myself from peeing once I was in full flow. Now the one you can feel yourself clenching is the one you have to exercise.
The sites also say that you can do this at anytime and in any position, laying down, standing up or sitting down. When I went for a pee and stopped myself, the muscle I felt was directly between my balls and my arse but when I started exercising, in certain positions it felt as though I was exercising a completely different muscle up inside my arse.
I don't know if this is the same muscle or not, but to be sure, I feel far more confident exercising when I am sitting down, particularly upright say when in the office or driving. And you really can do it anytime, anywhere no one will ever know what you are doing.
I can't recall any of the sites actually explaining why it is necessary to excise this thing but I have gathered from the way the sites are written that it will help us with our self control and the stiffness of our cock when erect - so exercise I do.
They also suggest that you need to build up to where you are clenching it hundreds of times a day in batches of say fifty at a time. This may sound a lot, but it really isn't IF YOU CAN REMEMBER TO DO IT. It is so easy to forget, but I have now got myself into a frame of mind where it just cums to me second nature now and I almost don't have to think about it, I just find myself doing it.
I do it slowly now but I started where I didn't hold the clench for very long because I found that if I did, it didn't take many clenches before it started to hurt as though I had strained it. Now, fifty takes me about ten minutes, that's all, and if I want to, I can start another fifty straightaway.
Obviously, I don't count them, otherwise I would never be able to concentrate on what anyone around me was saying or what other traffic was doing, I just know how long I have been doing it for each time, but I can really feel the difference in the size of the muscle, now all I have to do is learn how to use that better muscle to my advantage. Once again, if anyone could help me out on that one, I would be most grateful.
All these 'enlargement' plans claim -
Permanent penis enlargement - well, we will see, so far, so good
Experience multiple orgasms - can't say that one has worked on me yet
Curvature straightening - never had a curve
Increased sexual stamina - I can certainly last a lot longer now, maybe too long, you have to be careful here.
Cures and prevents impotence - cleaver one this, I suppose they can always turn round and say you might have suffered if you hadn't exercised.
Bigger penis head - definitely and it's great.
Rock hard erections - haven't needed too much here although I would say there is certainly an improvement.
Increased levels of semen - hard for me to judge because I love to cum so frequently, but that's another story, however, the girlfriend did go away recently for a couple of days and I was able to leave myself alone (except for exercising) for that time, when she got back and I whipped her straight off to bed, I nearly drowned her.
More confidence and better sex - definitely, when you can't sit down with your legs together or you are always having to make yourself comfortable down there, you know you are doing SOMETHING right and that transfers over to when you get her into bed. And it's great when you can sense that she feels the difference, you almost want to smile. With the increased flaccid state, you feel far more confident getting caught around the house. But the best bit is when you are on top of her and in a press-up position so that she can look down you and she sees what is about to hammer her and she makes that quiet little noise in the back of her throat and can't wait to get her hands around it and guide it into her slowly so that you don't hurt her -That's fucking brilliant.
Anyway, that's how if has worked and is still working for me. If you feel it can benefit you, why not give it a go. If you have tried something else and it has worked, why not share it with the rest of us so that we can all benefit.
Until someone cums up with a better solution on how to get your hands on your own member and make big improvements to its size - all free of charge, I am just going to keep pulling away and clenching with my exercises and see what I can achieve. I hope for some improvement to the length, more than I have achieved so far, and a continued improvement to the girth and head - I will measure it sometime for you if anyone is interested.
Please let me know what free improvements you have been able to make to your own meat and how you have been able to make them. Please don't exaggerate, hopefully you can see that I have tried to be as factual as possible with no exaggerations as at the end of the day, we are only trying to make ourselves act and feel better in life and that can't be a bad thing.
I really hope this helps some of you guys out there who have felt like I have in the past.
Good exercising and good luck.
The plantain vagina in my opinion has to be the best homemade male masturbation device that I have ever used. Forget about buying expensive artificial vaginas that are out on the market. Most of them hardly work at all, they don't satisfy, and they will lighten your wallet! Unfortunately, men don't have the sensual luxury women have in that they can use a myriad amount of vibrators, dildoes, double dongs, and even cucumbers to get off on. Sure, men can stick a dildo or butt plug up their asses, but if they are not inclined towards the anal arts, then what's the use?
The plantain vagina is not only natural, but it's inexpensive! The plantains go for about 3 or 4 per U.S. dollar. Plantains can be found in the United States in Hispanic (Latin American) bodegas (a Spanish store) or markets, and if you live near either a Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, Dominican community you will always find tons of plantains so cheap that you would think they're giving them away!
For our randy British wanker cousins, you chaps can go into any West Indian market in your UK towns to find plantains. All West Indian people like Jamaicans, Barbarians, Bahamians, and even Brazilians eat and love plantains. Similarly in the US, and Canada plantains can also be found in West Indian / Jamaican markets if you have them in your towns. Many regular super markets also carry plantains, and I have even seen them at a "Lucky's" super market in Orange County, California when I was visiting that part of the country.
To start,7 let's get some things straight.
According to the University of Florida, Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences, plantains are classified thusly:
"Plantains are hybrid bananas in which the male flowering axis is either degenerated, lacking, or possesses relicts of male flowers. Plantains are always cooked before consumption and are higher in starch than bananas."
The fruit you want to get for the plantain vagina is not the common banana that is eaten as is. Common bananas are too small and would break if you put your cock in them. You want to use the fruit that is usually cooked - but in our case, we are not going to cook it, but instead we are going to look for one that is at the right stage of ripeness to make your vagina. The following list underneath can give you an idea of the right plantain to pick at the perfect stage.
Green Plantain: Not the one to use! Starchy with a taste more comparable to a potato. Use in recipes that require a starchy vegetable taste. Pulp is ivory color and firm and too hard for a vagina like feel.
Yellow Plantain: This is the one to use for the plantain vagina! Yellow skin may be freckled with black spots. The pulp inside is semi soft to soft and it can be easily pushed out.
Black: Not the one to use! Too soft and yucky looking. The black stage ranges from heavy black spotting to a fully black plantain.
So, as a reminder we want to use the yellow plantain with freckled black spots. This plantain has the right amount of ripeness to fool your cock into believing that it's in a real pussy!
Ok, so now we know which plantain to get! Follow these instructions to create the ultimate in natural masturbation technology!
1. Go to the market and look for plantain that is fairly large in size. Pick a plantain that you can visualize your erect cock fitting snuggly inside. Make sure the plantain is somewhat ripe. If not too ripe, take it home and put it in a brown paper bag so that it could ripen for about a couple of days. Wash the outside of the plantain with some mild soap if you want. Dry it with paper towels.
2. The plantain should be ready to use when the outside skin is not too green or not too black. It should be somewhat yellow with a little black spots here and there. It should also be somewhat soft to the touch.
3. The banana leaf consists of a long, tube-like structure called a sheath. Your cock will go inside the sheath. To accomplish this, you cut the end tip of the plantain that is large enough for your cock to fit into. Not too loose, and not too tight that your cock won't fit into it. When you have cut the end to a size that you think will fit your cock, you then squeeze out the plantain pulp. Gently squeeze the pulp starting at the front and work your way towards the top. It's a good idea to squeeze the pulp out in sections using a soft squeezing motion. We don't want to break the plantain skin.
4. When all the pulp has been squeezed out, your plantain vagina is ready to use. Since you are going to be pumping it furiously we recommend that you punch a few little holes towards the top of the plantain. The reason we do this is for some of the air inside the plantain to escape when you are thrusting in and out. If the holes are not punched, there will be air pockets, and the plantain will have a tendency to break.
5. How do you use the plantain vagina? First, lube your cock. The walls of the plantain contain a deliciously slippery natural substance that feels like the inside of a real vagina. All you have to do is wet your cock with a little water or spit. Saliva is the best lubricant to use, although one can use KY or Astroglide mixed with a little spit. Believe it when we say it - this will be one of the best orgasms you will ever have. It's simple, you lube your hard cock, then you insert it into the opening of the plantain. At this moment, you slide your cock into the sheath as if you had a condom on. After this you will use both your hands to move the sheath up and down your cock until you feel like your are going to climax. The orgasm is unbelievable!
One can also run the plantain skin under hot water to emulate the temperature of a real vagina. This is optional. In addition, one can place the plantain skin between a mattress or anything that will hold it in place. By doing this, your hands can be free, and you can pump it in the usual way you fuck a pussy.
Don't be alarmed if your cock is covered in some of the plantain pulp. The pulp contains natural enzymes and proteins that will only lubricate and nourish your cock.
Please let us know how your plantain vagina worked out!
For those of you who are interested, here is a link to the Gollum Song Video. This song will be played at the end of The Two Towers during the credits. Its really creepy, starring Emiliana Torrini for the voice. It's extremely well done and makes you feel a deep sense of pity for the tortured soul that is Gollum. (There are no spoilers in this video, just recycled images from already released previews).
Large (11.8mb)
Med (2.2mb)
Small (970k)
(Note: these are in Quicktime)
To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
In other news: newspapers (even in their electronic form) occasionally cover information about recent events or happenings
(This works at AMC theaters :)...Go to the theater the day before the movie opens, prod an usher into telling you where the employee screening is. Slip into the theater after the movie starts, and keep to yourself. Most employees don't know each other, and no one questions a person that isn't causing a problem
Here are some places around the web for more TTT info/media:
http://www.darthscreencapture.com/LOTR/ttt.html: Trailers and previews.
The Lord of the Rings : The Two Towers Official Movie Site: The name says it all.\
TheOneRing.net(TM)| Lord of the Rings Movie News and Rumors: Very useful news site.
TolkienMovies.com - Lord of the Rings Movie News, Rumors, Photos: Alot of available stuff, but nicely colated.
Hope that helps...
What makes a man want to be a mouse? (Python's Flying Circus)
Slashdot receives a wide range of visitors from every country. Therefore, here's an international list of release dates in each country TTT will be showing (believe it or not, TTT just doesn't come out on Dec. 18):
Release Dates
To make a pun demonstrates the highest understanding of a language
caught a press preview this week:
1) much more action than the first one
2) less dramatic/emotinal slowdown.
3) Golum is the best done CGI character to date.
can't wait to see it again
Jesus used to be my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
The shame, the paranoia, the guilt, I'd experienced it all in highschool. I'd watch the other guys in the shower out of the corner of my eye, terrified I'd get an erection and be betrayed. After that you'd think I'd grow up and come out of the closet, but I pretended to myself as much as anyone else that I wasn't gay. I dated, I had sex, I got my first apartment, and still I looked at other guys out of the corner of my eye.
My friend Hunter wasn't gay. Slim, tall and attractive, women drapped themselves over him, and though he was too much of a gentleman to boast, I knew he'd had all the sex they could throw at him. Being slim and short, I'd had fewer adventures, but enough to know something was missing for me. I was surprised one night to discover that Hunter wasn't entirely satisfied with his sex life either.
We'd crashed at my place after too many beers, as we often did since he still lived with his parents. I only had a bachelor apartment, so I opened my bed and he crashed on the couch nearby as usual. I loved this arrangement because in the dark I'd feel myself get hard in the secrecy of my sheets, even if we just talked about work or chicks or whatever. Knowing he lay a few feet away in his boxers made me tremble quietly. I was only twenty after all.
"It's all about adventure, I guess," he said that night. "I mean, there's no challenge. You undo their bra and they pull it off. You're in bed before you know it. Wham bam!"
"I think you date a different type of woman from the ones I know," I said, knowing I sounded jealous but not caring.
"I...I mean, I find it more exciting if it takes a bit more work. Like if you have to win a strip poker game, or, well, if you have to restrain them." I could hear his blush. This was heady stuff to admit. I decided it needed a really frank reply.
"I'm into a little bondage with a willing partner," I said.
"Oh, me too! I mean, I don't want to rape anyone or anything like that. I'd be as happy if they tied me down. You know, so one of us had no choice but to go along. Just to spice things up a bit."
Bondage wasn't something I was for or against, but suddenly I had an image of my legs high in the air, my hands secured to the bed posts, and Hunter naked on top of me. My quiet tremble began.
"I've thought of that," I lied. "A little playful spanking, a little teasing. I've often wondered what it'd be like to be spanked."
"Yeah." He sighed that out, and I knew immediately that spanking had played a part in his fantasies. I had to pursue this. I may have felt guilty, but I wanted to see his near naked body again as I had when he had stripped down before he hopped into the sleeping bag on the couch.
"My problem," I said, trying to keep the quaver out of my voice and sound clinical. "Is that I don't know what's reasonable to expect from a spanking. If I fantasize giving or receiving forty slaps, is that too many?"
"I don't know. I've never spanked or been spanked. I guess you haven't either?"
"I was taking this chick from behind once and I gave her a playful swat. She groaned and pushed into me, which was great, so I gave her a few more. She asked me to stop but she went wild. We had a great fuck, but after that she gave me a lecture about all men being potential rapists and she never slept with me again."
"That's what kills me," said Hunter as he shifted in the sleeping bag. I tried to pierce the darkness with my eyes. Could I see a lump where his groin would be? "It's not that I want to dominate women. I'd love to be tied down myself. It's about playing a game. Making things more interesting. I mean, I bet you'd love to have a chick spank you as much as the other way around."
"Well, I think it's important if I'm to know if what I'm fantasing is reasonable. I'd love to know what it would feel like to get ten good swats on my butt. From anyone. Just to know, you know."
"Yeah, but no chick is likely to comply." Again I heard him shift. I knew he was as hot as a cat. I could picture those beautiful abs contracting and expanding as he moved. I'd seen him in the change room enough to know that a reasonable sized cock now brushed the inside of his boxers. He had to be hard.
"You know, I don't even care if it's a chick." I knew I was going way out on a limb here. "I mean, I'm just curious to know what ten good smacks feel like. I mean, you could give them to me. It's just about knowing if any of my fantasies are reasonable."
The room became heavy with silence, and I panicked for a moment, thinking I'd pushed things too far.
"Well, if all you want is to know what a spanking is like, I can give you one," he said. His voice sounded thick.
"If you don't mind. I know it sounds gay and all, but I just want to know, and like you said, no chick'll teach me."
"No, no, I know what you mean." He sat up quickly. His nude chest sculpted by the moonlight through my window; neither of us had chest hair. "It's a hard thing to ask. It's not that we're gay."
Hard! He didn't know the half of it. I sat up and tried not to look like I was trembling.
"No, of course not. But if you don't mind, I mean, I have to be naked for it to work."
"Oh, yeah, of course. Skin on skin is very important in this kind of game."
I stood on that cue even though I knew my my boxers would tent significantly. I paused for a moment, admiring my lithe frame in the weak light, before I slipped my boxers down to my ankles and stepped out of them.
"Bend over the chair here," he directed as he stood, pretending he didn't see my skinny seven-inch erection. He motioned me to my over-stuffed arm chair. I stepped up to the back and he pushed me over it until my hands pressed against the seat, my erection carressing the back of the chair. I knew I'd get pre-cum on the fabric but I didn't care. I was lost in the touch of his hand between my shoulder blades as he had pushed me down. Even after he let go my skin tingled in that spot.
The first slap only hit one cheek and weakly at that, but still I shuddered and I felt my sex twitch against the chair.
"Did that hurt?" asked Hunter.
I looked over my shoulder, enjoying the vulnerable feeling of being bent over beneath him. My eyes traveled up a leg of light hair to see him over me with one hand in the air, a young athelete with tented boxers. The secreted erection, so close but so obvious, made me wet my lips.
"No, it just kind of surprised me. I imagined spanking would be a lot harder."
"Like this?" He slapped my left buttock with more enthusiasm. "Or like this?" He slapped my right buttock. Both made me jerk, more because I wanted to rather than from any pain. I suddenly realized that I liked the spanking.
"Even harder." My voice came out as a hoarse whisper, choked with passion. I prayed he didn't notice.
"Uhm, little bitch is tough," he said as he delivered a good crack to my left cheek. This time my jerk firmly ground my organ into the chair until I pushed my behind back into the air. Hearing him call me a little bitch sent a thrill through my veins. Suddenly, as if he were an artillery man who'd found his range, he opened up on me. Six quick hard slaps on each buttock. That was over the ten I'd asked for, but I had no complaints. He stopped and began to massage my left buttock with one hand. It burned in reply.
"Did that hurt too much?" he asked.
I bit back a groan and fought to control myself. I could have pushed my cock into the back of that chair and ruined it with the half-dozen shots that wanted to burst forth.
"No, actually. In my fantasies I'd cry out in pleasure and pain, but I guess you'd have to slap harder and more to make that happen." I made no attempt to stand, and he switched to massaging my right buttock. I felt so open to him, so ready.
"I can make that happen." He grabbed my upper arm and pulled me around the arm chair. "Lie across my lap," he said after he sat down. My mouth went dry. I bent over his knees and felt my erection squash between his upper thigh and my stomach, taking most of my weight. He grabbed my hip and pulled me toward him, as if protecting me from slipping over his knees, but the manouver pressed my side into his erection. Did I even feel his hips thrust toward me?
He began to slap each buttock hard, and each time my jerking reaction thrust me into his leg and rubbed my side along his firmness. My buttocks began to feel hot, and the slaps really began to sting. Now I didn't jerk for effect, I spasmed in reaction to the slaps. They hurt! I bit my lip though, not wanting it to end until he was so hot that he'd rip off his shorts and impale me over the armchair right there. Finally a cry forced its way past my lips. He gave me three more good slaps, apparently enjoying each cry that ripped from me.
To my utter disappointment he stopped then, but he massaged my buttocks for a while, pressing in the fire. Lying naked over his knee like that, feeling him carress my behind, remains one of the best memories I have of sex. It didn't last however. He stood and gently helped me up, but then he hurried to the safety of his sleeping bag.
Suddenly I felt humiliated, but I decided to not be ashamed.
"Whew, that was hot," I said as I stretched in the moonlight, revelling in my nudity. I made sure I was profile to his line of sight so that if he looked my way he couldn't fail to see my erection. The glitter of his eyes betrayed him. He watched me alright. I swaggered back to my bed, letting my erection swing proudly back and forth, and I passed his couch as close as I could without tripping on it. Even in the dark he had to be getting a very good look. I lay down on top of my covers with my hands behind my head. There'd be no suspicious bulge in my covers if he looked my way. Nope, instead he'd see that flagpole shamelessly straining to point to the ceiling.
And look he did. He rolled onto his stomach and propped himself on his elbows to talk, young biceps bulging, firm pecs in a dark recess above the couch. Come to think of it, he often chatted with me this way before we drifted off to sleep. Now I knew he crushed an erection into that couch, but I wondered if this was the first time.
"So was it everything you expected?" he asked. I hadn't really expected anything, so I didn't have to lie.
"It was better. At first I thought I could take it forever, then I thought you couldn't make me cry out, then I felt humiliated. How about you, did you find your inner rapist?"
"I enjoyed it because you did. I tell you, it has nothing to do with wanting to dominate women. I just like the idea of restraint. I'd love to be restrained myself, even if she's going to do things to me that I'm not interested in. In fact, I'd like it better if someone tied me up and abused me against my will. I guess I'm looking for someone else's inner rapist. But no one wants to tie me up anymore than anyone wants to spank you. I mean, I'd love to know what it's like to be tied up and helpless, really helpless."
I noticed the change in his speech. He'd gone from talking about women to talking about 'someone'.
"I can tie you down if you like. One favour deserves another after all."
"Well, it's kind of wierd, but it's not like we're gay." His voice husked up. He sounded like he had difficulty talking. "It's just an experiment, like your spanking."
"Oh, of course. I've got some rope in the front closet. I'll get it."
As I reached into the closet I heard a shuffle and saw a flash of white skin as Hunter left the safety of his sleeping bag and lay down on my bed, his hands reaching for the bed posts.
I sauntered over swinging the end of the rope and took his wrist without a word, hoping my nudity made him nervous. He still hid his manhood in his shorts. I tied him tightly so as to save him faking helplessness.
"Can you free yourself?" I asked after I sat down on the bed beside him. My naked hip rested against his calf, my right hand on his knee. He struggled for a while, and I enjoyed the sight of lats twisting, biceps bulging, and abs crunching.
"No," he said at last. "You've done a really good job." His breath caught as my right hand slipped off his knee and up his inner thigh. I let it fall to the bed just below his crotch as if that had been the intended destination and brushing his thigh had been an accident; then I leaned over him and reached with my left hand up to his wrist, as if to check the knot. This brought my right forearm in contact with the base of his pole, again as if by accident, and my chest hovered over his stomach. Again I heard a sharp intake of breath.
I decided I needed more contact with that cloth-covered secret. I carried my left hand to his far wrist, but I had to turn onto my knees and stretch over him to reach it. My bare chest pressed into the material of his shorts, and I let the wetness at the peak of that tent drag between my nipples to my belly button before I sat back, dragging it up almost to my chin before I sat up. All quite accidental contact of course.
"Yes, quite firm," I said. "But I haven't taken care of your legs yet, and of course you must be naked." I grabbed the waist band of his shorts and pulled them slowly over slender hips, careful to trap his cock with the elastic until the erection pulled down against its desire to point at his toes. When it finally sprang free of the elastic it leapt up and slapped his stomach, drawing a hiss from Hunter.
I secured his ankles, dragging him tauntly spread eagle in the process. When I finished I felt a great peace. Willing or not, I intended to have my way with him: regardless of what he asked, regardless of what he desired. I was drunk now with passion rather than alcohol.
I stood with one finger on his leg and began to walk along the side of the bed, dragging my finger up his leg, dangerously close to his pubic hair, and up to his chest.
"Do you feel helpless?"
"Yes."
"Naked?"
"Yes."
"Vulnerable?"
"Very vulnerable." He swallowed noisily.
"You see I think you're a naughty boy. I think you've fanatasied doing awful things to unwilling victims."
"No," he gasped. "Only willing ones. Only things I'd be willing to have them do to me."
"But what if some girl didn't want to suck you while she was tied up. Wouldn't you force her?"
"I might if I thought she could handle it. I mean, you know, if she'd tied me down already and made me submit to forceful acts. If it were revenge."
"Like if she'd made you suck her boyfriend's cock?"
"Yes. I mean, if you want to feel really helpless, you have to have things done to you that you didn't think of. Things you wouldn't otherwise do. Oh my God!"
I'd straddle him while he talked, but I misjudged the length of that cock of his and as I got over him on all fours, my knees on either side of his hips, my balls brushed the tip of his cock. My face now hovered over his.
"Like being forced to suck cock?" I began to move my knees forward and sat on his chest, my cock waving in his face.
"It's not that we're gay," he replied, his eyes fixed on my cock. "But that would be one thing one guy could do to another to make him really feel helpless and used. It's the principle of having no choice but to..."
I rose up on my knees and leaned forward, silencing his prattle with the head of my cock. The warmth and wetness took me over. I gently sunk my fingers into his short hair and rested my face against the wall behind the bed for support, then I slowly pushed deep into his mouth. He struggled, whether for sport or protest I didn't care. I paused and pushed again. He shook his head weakly and made muffled complaints, but I pushed deeper anyway until I felt my pubic hair disturbed by his nose. I loved the feeling of his mouth; I loved the little motions of his head; I loved the muffled protests; I loved the power.
I slide back out of him and let him catch his breath.
"That's what she'd feel if you forced her."
"Wow, I mean, you went all the way in. My girl friend has never taken my whole cock in her mouth."
"Perhaps because your's is at least an inch longer and a lot thicker," I said as I worked my way back until I knelt between his spread legs so I could look at his cock.
"It's not that much bigger than yours."
"Sure it is, look." I placed my cock against his, rubbing them together as I lined them up. Both of us shuddered this time, and my tremble returned. His erection was a full cockhead longer than mine and somewhat thicker. He raised his head to look but had trouble seeing.
"It depends on where you line up the bottom doesn't it?" he asked.
"We're pretty much base to base as far as I can tell."
I rubbed our cocks together for a full minute as if trying to ensure they were properly lined up, but soon I feared even that motion would make me shoot all over his stomach. I had to do something that didn't involve my erection.
"I think I'll see if your girlfriend is a whimp or not," I whispered as I backed down the bed, letting the front of his erection slide up my stomach, over my chest until its head poked under my chin.
"What do you mean?" He also whispered and his breath came in short intermitant gusts. I sense a slight shudder and realized that he too trembled.
"It occurrs to me that one of the most humiliating things I can do to you now is suck your cock. You'll have to lie there and feel another guy give you pleasure, and if you close your eyes to try and pretend it's a girl, I'll brush my five o'clock shadow over your cock to remind you that it's a guy that's doing this to you." I didn't have much of a five o'clock shadow, but we both ignored that point.
"That's a good torture," he whispered. "Forcing gay sex on a straight guy who's tied...whow!"
I had silenced him by engulfing the head of his penis. I got my first taste of pre-cum other than my own. It didn't send me one way or the other, but the feeling of the helmet in my mouth did it all for me. I squeezed my lips just below the head where the foreskin must've been briefly attached, then I pushed down, forcing my tight lips farther and farther along that perfect shaft. I'd reached the half-way point when I felt the fat head push into the back of my throat.
'I can do this,' I thought to myself. I let go of the base of him and put my left hand behind my head. It may have only been symbolic, but I pushed down on my own head forcing myself deeper onto his cock. I gagged and pulled up a bit before I pushed myself down even farther. I loved pretending it was his hand forcing my head down. This inspired me to push to new depths. My jaw stretched wide from the girth, my throat gagged again but I fought it back as my eyes watered. I thought I would be defeated when I felt his pubic hair on my nose, but that wasn't enough for me. I gave one last Herculean shove until my nose buried itself in his pubic hair and pressed against his pelvis. I half-choked and pulled up quickly, but after lingering for a second with just his head in my mouth I again lunged down his shaft.
"Dude," he whispered in panic. "I'm gonna blow!"
I pulled off and hovered over his cock. "That's part of the torture," I whispered. "You want to really feel helpless? Really have things done to you that you don't want?"
"Oh God," was the only reply he was capable of. He flirted with an orgasm just from my breath on his manhood.
"I'm going to make you come with a cock in your mouth. You're going to taste it as you shoot." I turned around as I said this and knelt over his head facing back. He didn't need to be commanded to open his mouth, so I pushed my cock half-way down his throat before I leaned over him and rested my head on his hip so that I could look at his full prominence as I pushed in and out of his mouth, occasionally making him involuntarily protest when I buried myself to the hilt. It only took two or three thrusts and I couldn't last any longer. I trembled out of control and took him into my mouth. I kept as much bare chest and stomach contact between us as I could.
When I reached his base, my nose hovering over his scrotum and my throat and jaw protesting the size, I lost it. I jammed myself all the way into his mouth and shot many times, my erection spasming repeatedly in his mouth.
He gave a cry that was loud even with my manhood muffling it. His shout provoked more spasms from me and I nearly wept from the power of the orgasam. His erection jerked wildly in my mouth and warm saltines spurted into my throat. I held my breath as he kept pumping. He thrust up hard into me and gave that muffled scream again. I realized that I echoed him.
I let myself slip out of his mouth as I rose up off of him. The cool air caressed the wetness on me as I'm sure it did on him as well. I left him there to wonder: wonder what had just happened; wonder when I'd let him go; wonder if he wanted me to let him go. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a cold beer and returned to the main room.
I stood where he could see me in the moonlight coming through the sheer curtains, naked and half-erect, my penis refusing to go all the way down. I had a sip of beer, casually striking a pose that would make him think of a Greek statue. I enjoyed the sight of him, spread eagle and waiting. He too seemed to be having trouble losing his erection, and it pointed to his toes, ready to spring back into action. I realized that we weren't done.
"How'd you find it?" I asked. "Really being helpless. Did it make you feel guilty that you'd fanatazed doing things like that to people, or did it vindicate you. Do you think your victim would really just have loved it?" I rested the cold beer on his hip just to the right of his most sensitive area. He gasped and his penis twitched.
"I never said I wanted to do this to someone who wasn't into it. It wouldn't work for me if she was crying and really begging me to stop. I'd stop if she really wanted."
"But how do you know if she really wants to or of she likes pretending she doesn't want it."
"Like, I mean, I guess you'd have a code word. You know, red for stop and yellow for ease off a bit. I mean, if she's really into it, she won't use them, but I'd feel better if I knew for sure that no meant yes and all that."
"So that you'd know if you were really crossing the line." I slid the beer along up his stomach until I reached a nipple. He shuddered. He must be able to see that my erection rose with the conversation, twitching its way higher in time to his.
"Yeah, but it's hard to cross the line when you've tied up someone whose really into this kind of thing. I mean, look at you and me: you pushed me pretty far there and I never protested at all. I wanted to be pushed hard."
I took a big gulp of beer. My excitment had resulted in hardness, both mine and his. You'd think we hadn't come for days.
"Oh, I didn't push you hard," I said. "Oh, no, I haven't even begun."
He swallowed, his attention rivetted on my naked form as I untied his ankles. I grabbed his right leg under the knee and pulled it up toward his chest. When I had it as high as it could comfortably go I looped the rope around it and secured the free end to the bed post near his wrist. I did the same with the other leg.
He now lay with his arms outstretched and his legs high in the air, his buttocks and anus conspicuously exposed. I slapped his buttock and sent a shiver through his body. I decided he needed some more even though I'd have been happy just to rub my hands on those firm young buns. I settled for giving him his thrill by slapping them again.
"Beg me to stop," I whispered, looking for guidance.
"Never," he gasped. Now I knew he loved this so I opened up as ruthlessly on his buttocks as he had on mine, slapping until my hand hurt. His jerks went from fiegned to real, until finally I forced a cry from his lips. Still I slapped his red bottom, waiting for him to give in, but he held out until every slap produced a cry. I stopped for a moment, messaging in the fire and enjoying the curve of his behind, my fingers occasionally teasing near his anus. He whispered his cupitulation.
"Please, stop."
"Are you ready to be my bitch," I whispered. "My helpless slave existing only to let me use you for my own ends?" He hesitated so I gave him a good slap that made him arch his back and cry out. I wondered if he'd use the red light word now.
"I'm yours," he whispered with a shudder. "Do whatever you want. You've broken me to your will." Now I knew he loved it.
I got up, my hard on swinging urgently, and hurried to my secret stash where I found condoms and liquid KY. He couldn't see what I did in the dark but he felt the cool drops as they hit his scrotum and ran down over his anus. I dammed the little flood of lubricant with my finger just below his anus. He gasped as my finger slid up to his anus and pressed up toward his prostate. He fought it a bit, but I was gentle, massaging my way around him until he invited me in.
"Oh, wow!" he said as I buried my index finger to the hilt. I wanted to do more, make him feel more. I lunged for his cock with my mouth as I probed around that tight, hot place with my finger. He couldn't help himself. He thrust up into my mouth, burying his cock deep into me and thus involutarily rocking himself on my finger. I kept this up for several minutes, fucking him more liberally with my finger while he fucked my face. Suddenly he gave a grunt.
"Oh wow, dude! I can't believe it! I'm close again!"
I pulled my lips reluctantly from his manhood and sat back, easing my finger from him. I dripped more KY and caught the extra with two fingers this time. He sensed the change as they began to massage his rim together and he tensed up.
"Don't forget you're helpless. Resistance now is futile."
I pushed both fingers against his anus as he relaxed and accepted them in, although upon penetration he did gasp again.
"I've never felt so helpless," he whispered as I pushed my fingers deep into him.
"Oh, I'll show you helpless," I said as I withdrew my fingers.
I had wondered how I would approach this, whether I would try to keep it a secret till the last minute, but now I knew the best thing to do was to flaunt the next torture I intend to visit on him. He was ready for it.
I stood, shamelessly displaying my desperate erection, and held up the condom where he could see it, deliberately tearing open the wrapper. I placed the rubber over my penis and unrolled it, always ensuring that he had the best view.
"Oh wow, dude. You're going to..." He choked off in lust.
"You wanted to know what it would be like to feel completely helpless," I said as I climbed upon the bed and positioned my sheathed rod over his buttocks. He swallowed hard when he felt my head press against his most vulnerable spot. He shifted slightly, rotating his hips to raise his buttocks higher in the air and give me better access.
"I can't stop you," he whispered.
I thurst in, provoking a grunt from him because of the size of me and a grunt from me because of the tightness and heat from him. I'd never had a virgin before, male or female, and I suddenly realized that this was the first time for both of us. It only excited me more to know that he was losing his virginity with every push. I gave him a moment to adjust and shoved myself half way in, marvelling at how he squeezed my cock.
"Oh, wow! This is it," he whispered. "You're showing me what its like to be a completely helpless sex object." I leaned forward as he spoke, placing on fist on the bed on either side of his youthful chest, preparing to put some weight behind my next thrust. "Oh, God this feels...It's not that we're gay. It's about restraint and control and..."
"We're so gay," I whispered as I bore down, burying myself into him. When he opened his mouth to groan I plunged my tongue deep into him and began thrusting in and out with my penis as I passionately kissed him. We fucked with abandon.
"So gay," he whispered in my ear as I sucked on his ear lobe. "I'm so gay. I've wanted you so long. You've such a firm beautiful body. I'd do anything to be with you."
The dam had burst and his confession flooded out. It quickly became apparent that he, like me, had wanted to do every good looking guy in our high school. When he descirbed wanting to meld with me I knew we had to take it all the way. I gave him one last passionate kiss, muffling the cries I pushed out of him with a couple of hard thrusts, then I pulled out.
He looked disappointed as I untied his legs and stretched them out straight, but I knew he'd change his mind when I picked up another condom. I unrolled it over him, his eyes widening with understanding when I liberally dripped KY all over his hardness. Both of us would lose our virginity tonight.
I straddled him and played with the head of his cock against my anus, pushing down occasionally to get used to the size of him. He was thicker and longer than I was and I'd had no fingers to loosen me up tonight, although I'd come many times in the past with my own fingers probing those depths. This was going to hurt and somehow I wanted it that way, but I wanted a free and active partner: no more pretending we were expermenting with bondage. We were gay lovers.
As I reached up to untie his hands he took the opportunity to suck on my nipples. Now I knew he was with me. With his hands free he caught my shoulders, unable to contain himself. He pushed me down mercilessly and thrust up with everything he had. He might have gone astray but I arched my back and pushed down on target.
"Fuck!" I gasped. I felt like I'd just impaled myself on a baseball bat.
"Take it," he cried as he renewed his grip on my shoulders and pushed down hard. "Take it like I did." He hammered up into me with that fat spike. I cried out again and arched my back to help me drive down onto him. When I knew he had buried himself in me to the hilt I bent forward and locked him in a kiss. He buried his tongue into my mouth with the same passion that he thrust up with his cock.
"So gay," he gasped into me. "We're having perfect gay sex. I'm fucking you. Oh my God I'm gonna come inside you."
I frantacally grabbed my cock, not wanting to be left behind, but I'd only pumped it a couple of times when I blasted forth, ready or not. Semen pumped all over his chest and stomach and I cried out as I felt my anus contracting against him in time to my spurts.
"Wow!" he screamed as he lost it, slamming into me as his cocked jerked spasmodically inside me. I felt like a cowboy on a bucking broncho, holding on for dear life, loving the ride and praying for the end.
He slid out of me after he finished and I streched out on top of him, smearing my come between us and gluing us together.
"That's sex," he whispered as we drifted toward sleep. "I feel like I've never had it before. No girl ever sent me there. It was great."
"It's because we're gay," I whispered, loving the feel of every naked bit of him against me. "We're so gay."
How about some daily coverage of my cock? Cripes it would take a team of 100 people to cover that fucking thing it's so huge. I'd prefer 100 hotties to cover it with their tounges, those little cunts. Or Taco's filthy fucking mother, whichever.
For those of you who can't wait to see it on the 18th just may be in luck! There is a special screener happening the day before in San Francisco (at the Metreon) for $50. I guess it's some form of charity thing, I'm not sure; once I read that you get to see the movie Tuesday night I just kind of zoned out!
Here is the link: Special Preview Screening / Benefit for Amnesty International
Some highlights:
She is loose and she has back acne (aka bacne) really bad. Once I was fucking her from behind and she started to quiver, and a whole shit-load of zits on her back popped. Puss was dripping down her back and funneled into her asscrack, and ultimately onto my dick where it made a nice lube.
... that wasn't Taco's mom. It was his wife, my bad. Whatever.
Oh wait
I'm going to this movie opening night and I'm very excited I saw an ent in a preview the other day and I'm excited, though anytime I see lord of the rings now I keep thinking about the MTV video awards version with jack black
"Elron:do you have the ring. Jack Black:yes, I have the ring, see thing is last night me and my buddies had a little too much meed, and ug we ended up at the piercing parlor, and uh long story short ~drops pants~ Boromir:it is a gift. jack black:your damn right it's a gift, it's called a prince albert, and it's MY PRECIOUS"
I mean look at all those guys with point ears!
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
So that's where all our international bandwidth has gone, /. strikes again.
Dave
I write a blog now, you should be afraid.
opening night of Nemisis, bring a lightsaber and look confused.
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
The prime minister of New Zealand, Helen Clark, is showing off her country, as featured in the LOTR movies, by jetboating, ice-picking, rappelling into sinkholes, and overall doing some incredible things for a head of state.
Makes George Bush look sedentary!
(article)
Machines take me by surprise with great frequency. -A. Turing
Man, you guys need wedgies. I will be a kickass movie but you will get what's coming to you if I see you in costumes outside the theater.
- Health, Fitness, and Weight Loss News
So there. I SMELL NERDS. From revenge of the nerds or something.
- Health, Fitness, and Weight Loss News
So, um... get this:
:)
Naming this movie "The Two Towers" is hate speech, according to the folks at www.twotowersprotest.org.
Why?
You insensitive clod, it's because "The Two Towers" somehow reminds us of the World Trade Center towers. (Never mind that the towers never went by that name. They were the "Twin Towers" in some circles. I never heard "Two Towers")
I can't find any references to protests about the title of "K19: Widowmaker" -- talk about an insensitive title!
Sigh.
I'm wandering even farther off topic, please excuse me:
My grandfather just passed away, and he was cremated. Garrison Keillor, in his "News from Lake Wobegon" tonight on the Prairie Home Companion radio show, told an extended joke about a grandma who would take "grandpa" (an urn) down off the shelf around christmas time, so he could spend time with the family. Think about it -- this can be quite funny, all the odd situations that go on with an urn in the picture.
Obviously, I had rather mixed feelings hearing this, given my family's recent loss.
But should I be mad at Keillor for telling this joke? Is it in poor taste?
I'm willing to say of course not! Humor, art, literature, movies talk about stuff that happens in life.
You could try to restrict the content of art forms so as not to offend anybody... but you'd never succeed.
This two towers thing is JUST A COINCIDENCE, and not to obvious a one at that. It never even ocurred to me until I'd read about this protest.
Stop to consider that sometimes protests like this just make the whole situation worse.
Off the soapbox... sorry for the rant...
(Go out and enjoy the movie!!! I got my tickets already.
- Peter
INsigNIFICANT
Oh yeah, the sleep part - knew I was forgetting something.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Everyone else is posting links and karma whoring(one, the other, or even both) so I'll join them!
Slashdot.org has links to an article, plus comments with links to other sites giving even more information on LOTR:TTT.
Slashdot comes in one size and is _not_ quicktime! Sorry!
It's already out on KaZaA, I saw it! It was a 200k executable file -- file compresion has gone so far these days! :P
hello! please mod this comment down to -1. I am continuing to do my part to ensure that slashdot's signal to noise ratio remains very low!
Chill out, man. While I do agree that the book should be read first, it should be noted that the movie isn't a perfect translation from the book. For FOTR, the whole love story was practically squat in the book, there was no Lurtz, Frodo wasn't the one that found the password, etc. I realize those aren't huge plot points but there are a lot of departures from the book.
:)
And apart from that, there's simply the whole visual aspect of things being spoiled. I don't recall seeing that huge, badassed 3D Balrog in the book, for example. Obvious, but I think that it's a pretty good point. I've been trying to minimize my exposure to this movie, PARTICULARLY with the Ents, just so I can behold their total coolness on the big screen. That'd still be just as much a spoiler as if I hadn't read the book.
Your real point is still quite valid though. Any self-respecting human that hasn't read LOTR yet should buy a copy immediately
I'm Gimli and I'm a fuckin' dwarf
Killin' motherfuckers from the south to the north
That's not Mirkwood I'm chopping with my battle axe
And I'm on an orc stampede like Shadowfax
I think things like this need to be encouraged as much as possible. They have an MP3 download. And they also sample the immortal Ballad of Bilbo Baggins by Leonard Nimoy.
And it only contained 15 trojan horses! Wow! What a deal!
"Inattention makes clowns of us all" -Bean
Check out this cool map :-)
You all suck, I'm extremely cranky, I'm sick of work and I want to go home.
Also, you all suck.
Attn Slashdot moderators;
It has come to my attemtion that most of you are unkempy, dirty, bearded linux hippies who hug trees and live in your parents basements. This is socially unacceptable.
For gods sake, move out, get a life and a job. And have a shower.
(Michael, this means *you*!)
I'm sorry, I will not be having a shower, as that would clean all the shit and cum off me that Rob Malda has produced. I will continue to live in my parents basement and use linux because I enjoy gay sex and eating cock.
Lord of the Rings isn't for FAGS!
Does anyone know why the famous Grauman's Chinese Theatre (aka Mann's Chinese), in Hollywood, CA, is not showing LOTR movie? Same thing happened with the last movie. Yet, it is currently showing Star Trek: Nemesis. The theatre did show last two Star Wars movies. This theater is a perfect place for LOTR movies and big revenues. This calendar of events does not show this movie listed. :(
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Can't wait for Dec. 18???
So what.
The real news is that this movie is gayer than Rob Schneider in "The Hot Chick".
http://www.captionmachine.com/?p=132&c=1
Free Java games for your phone: Tontie, Sokoban
Most of the actors are either English Acting Knights, New Zealanders, Australians or Brits. The Americans that ARE in the film put on Brit accents. Where does the "American English" come in exactly?
Michael dresses up as Gollum and put his fingers into his "ring".
I wouldn't worry too much about that. I've read the books several times before watching the movie, and I would say that Peter Jackson et al did very well in bringing the book to life. Sure the movie has lots of things missing, and the occasional thing done not very well, but all in all a good job that even surpassed my imagination in some places.
I think the book touched me emotionally far more than the movie ever could. Tolkien's writing gives a supernatural splendor to the the most common things, contrasted against the looming darkness. The movie made me gawk at the amazing visuals. :) Book, then movie, and neither will take away from the other.
After reading the trilogy and watching all three movies (after they're released of course), go and read the Silmarillion. Read it more than once - the style of writing is very matter-of-fact, which makes for hard reading, but the second time is easier. It is truely epic, and if you manage to follow it you'll look at the story in the Lord of the Rings with a new perspective.
One-hundred-and-first POST!
It's either GNU/hippies or GNU/Linux, but not Linux hippies.
At the top of this and every page on /. right below the logo it says "news for nerds" I think that is sufficient to explain why anything about TTT (no matter how trivial) is front page news that matters (to nerds).
It's a nerd thing, you wouldn't understand.
Ring watches you!
funniest shit I heard in ages.
NO CARRIER
I have been a great fan of LOTR since the first American release of the books in the 60's; my wife actually has the first edition - she had it imported from England when she was a teenager after reading WH Auden's original review.
We had both thought that doing justice to this on film was impossible and were viewing the Peter Jackson effort as likely to be a great flop.
How glad we are that we were wrong. These films are magnificent and capture the greatest story of the 20th century. We have watched FOTR several times now, and are amazed how well it has held up.
I cannot wait until we can put all 3 films on a dvd changer and let them run consecutively.
I consider the Silmarillion the best of the lot. Instead of just one story spanning three books (albeit a great one), you have dozens that feel just as detailed in a single volume. Tolkien combines most of the major mythologies to bring this one to us, and he does an amazing job. Don't stop with the Silmarillion, though, go on the Unfinished Tales and the rest. There are another dozen or so books published from his journals, and they contain a lot of unpublished parts to each, and earlier versions (Strider was a hobbit named Trotter). After reading the Silmarillion et al. you gain a whole new understanding of the events of the Third Age (Hobbit, LotR). LotR becomes a whole lot more impressive once you know the events that lead up to it.
GL
I really hate to spoil a thing like the lens-cap photo, but accuracy has always been more important to me than anything else.
For those who haven't already seen the link, here is a link to a site which describes night-vision binoculars of the type Bush is using in the photo. Executive Summary: The photo looks funny, but Bush is doing nothing wrong.
I like a good chance to mock Bush Jr. as much as the next guy, but it has to at least be fair.
Reading LotR again after reading the Silmarillion is a very different experience. You suddenly spot lots of references and everything fits into a bigger scheme.
Highly recommended.
Stop worrying about the risks of nuclear power and start worrying about the risks of not using nuclear power.
Yeah, let's see. Tolkien wrote The Lord of the Rings starting in 1940. I guess it reflects British immigration worries in 1950.
...
I can't tell if you're being sarcastic here or not (apologies if you were), but
Tolkien would likely take great offense at this characterization, were he alive and able to hear (read) it. He truly disliked, one could perhaps even say DESPISED, allegory, and emphatically stated time and time again that his mythos was in no way allegorical about any of the political, social, or economic conditions of the time. It was intended as a MYTHOS drawing upon the rich historical and cultural heritage of Britain, and unlike so many novels of the era, had ABSOLUTELY NO MESSAGE with respect to current potitics, economics, or social commentary WHATSOEVER.
Other than that, I think you post is dead on (and find the tidbit you bring up about German translation very interesting).
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
Surely you ment Funny!
If Google really cared they would fix Android Chrome to reflow text, instead of discriminating
Now I'm being even more naive, but why would he use those in the daytime?
Free Java games for your phone: Tontie, Sokoban
My girlfriend worked at the LOTR exhibit in Toronto.
I'll be seeing the movie on Monday.
Bwahahahahaha!
I'll probably post to stories on Tuesday to ruin the movie for you all.
-... ---
Two words: Fucking awesome.
Ryan T. Sammartino
"Ancora imparo"
And if there are any Brazilian Tolkien fans who read ./, don't forget to have a look at the scheduled Line Parties for Brazil.
/. AND lives in Recife, I'll see you at the Multiplex Tacaruna Line Party. For the ones who live in the South Zone, there is one party at the Multiplex Recife.
And going farther, if there is any Tolkien Fan who reads
I'll be there dressed as a Dark Night (No, this is not a joke. I did the same Jan, 1st, in the release of Fellowship Of the Ring.)
- Please, ignore everything written above.
Ha ha ha, I just got notified that there was a reply to some smartass comment I made at 3:18 last night (morning?) that I don't remember making. I get in more trouble that way...(e-mail can be dangerous if not used sober)
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Thanks to knowing people, I get to see it TOMORROW (Dec 16) in the 'sneek preview'!!!!!!!!!! Have fun waiting. I'll make sure to post a full spoiler-filled review.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Sauron watches YOU !
bool Marketoid::IsGood(){return IsDead();}
What do you mean? That wasn't Gollum?
You have fallen for one of the more successful trolls in recent memory.
Tolkien was a racist tard.
The New Zealand premier is on Wednesday night (GMT+12).
l
There's a live webcam here:
http://www.wellingtonnz.com/cam/webcam.htm
The big white building is The Embassy, the street will be closed from midday. enjoy.
...we had to build our own towers.
Most likely it's just a business matter between the companies involved. Mann Theatres owns the Chinese, and the Mann Village theater in Westwood (just off-campus from UCLA), and TTT will be showing there. Maybe they figured that Nemesis would be a big enough draw to justify having it at the Chinese this week, since their other big-ticket theater (the Village) would have TTT. (They were wrong; Nemesis did poorly this weekend, but if you could predict that in advance, you'd be smarter than every other person who ever worked in the entertainment industry...)
:))
So it did poorly; why not dump it for TTT? Alas, the contracts between theaters and studios usually require that first-run movies show for two to four weeks minimum, and that commitment is usually made several weeks, if not months, in advance. Nemesis opened on Friday; there's no way it could be bumped for TTT by the following Wednesday, no matter how poorly it did.
Granted, it would be a great experience to see it there, but I personally prefer the Village. (The sound is louder, for one thing.
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
OMG!!! TTT IS GOING TO BE SOOOOOOO FAWKING AWESOME!I was watching Mtv's Movie house and from those previews i am totally psyched! RAWK!!!
"Be more concerned with your charecter rather than your reputation. For your reputation is mearly what others think of y
... C++ offers even more flexible control over the visibility of member
objects and member functions. Specifically, members may be placed in the
public, private, or protected parts of a class. Members declared in the
public parts are visible to all clients; members declared in the private
parts are fully encapsulated; and members declared in the protected parts
are visible only to the class itself and its subclasses. C++ also supports
the notion of *_______friends*: cooperative classes that are permitted to see each
other's private parts.
-- Grady Booch, "Object Oriented Design with Applications"
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