Slashdot Mirror
First Human Clone Born?
slantyyz writes "A religious cult, the Raelians, has claimed that the birth of first human clone is one of theirs. While this hasn't been corroborated yet, it's making headlines in Canada, where the cult is based. There's supposed to be a press conference on Friday in Hollywood. This story just may have legs."
Don't bother, they're already here....
Hopefully the clone will have legs too!
This is news? Come on, who among us didn't expect the first cloned baby to come from a Canadian religious cult? Duh People!
I want to know when the next ship to Blisstonia is.
Just what we need, a bunch of cloned Canadiens... Why didn't they choose to clone some Swedish chicks?
"I've missed a period" - girl ... are you sure?" - cult leader ... this could be bad. Uh... I know! We'll send you away for a while!" - cult leader
"Shit!
"Well, yes, dammit. I told you to use protection! What do you care, you've gotten half the women in this cult pregnant." - girl
"Yeah, but they're not 15
"What about the kid? What do we do when he comes back?" - girl
"We'll put out a press release saying he's really a clone, we'll even post it on slashdot! I'm sure everyone will believe us!" - cult leader
Yes, but how many?
A woman gives birth to an exact clone of herself. A couple years down the road, the child learns to speak and its first word is a cuss word. It turns out that the child is an EXACT replica of the mother except for the fact that it can only speak swear words. This drives the mother crazy and eventually she drives to a large canyon and pushes the child in. When she returns home, the police arrest her...
For making obscene clone falls! Ba dum ching!
Resistance is futile... You have already been engineered by them as an anonymous coward.
;)
As for the spelling and grammar, I was unfortunately implemented with the french grammar traits. But hey, let's compare your french grammar with my english grammar.
If you clone yourself and it gives you a BJ, is it considered oral sex or masturabation?
Brevity is the soul of wit. -- Prince Hamlet of Denmark
"I have a twin borther and have had for hte past 20 odd years."
And before that ?
(duh)
I'd heard that a disproportionate number of Ralians come from the exotic-dance community.
Hey, we want these people to clone themselves!
I looked into the abyss, and the abyss looked into me--and we both winked.
I had no idea not having a soul could lead to arthritis.
1. Found obscure cult involving aliens.
2. Ask "tithes" for support and basic nescecities. (6 acres of land, 4 million USD villa, heated swimming pool, turkish sauna, botanic garden, 4 wives, 4^n children, 3 Mercedes', 2 BMWs, 2 Cessnas, 1 Learjet, 1 converted Boeing 727 and a division of lawyers to keep the 4 wives from running away with all aforementioned "nescecities".)
3. Profit!
Hate me!
That's ridiculously stupid. I mean besides the fact that it shows you have no touch with reality, everybody knows that those boy bands aren't clones of each other. They're robots. :p
I'm the big fish in the big pond bitch.
Eventually it'll come out that the Raelians' and Scientologists' belief systems were based on visits by the same alien race. Its just that the Scientologists got stuck with intergalactic Puritans. Rael's aliens? Apparently cosmic hippies out spreading free love and having a good time.
> The Canadians are gonna invade with there army of clones. Let's nuke'm
Jeez, don't you know *anything* about military stuff? When your going to get invaded by an army of clones, you send out your Jedi. *Everybody* knows that...
Chris Mattern
I'm sure as hell this post will be "cloned" quite soon, too.
Hmmm, let's see...
Volcano, check.
Space ship, check.
Clones, check.
Short "alien", check.
Fembots, check.
What? Where are the sharks? I asked for sharks with friggin "lasers" on their heads.
This is Slashdot, mind you. Most of us are closer to being able to clone ourselves with ordinary household items then we are to having sex with another person.
I've been trying to clone myself for years. I guess jacking off into a paper towel just wasn't the proper medium to propogate life, eh?
No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There's always a boom tomorrow. - Cmdr. Susan Ivanova
Your goals are too modest--I think the deep thought, humane empathy, and tolerance expressed by this AC deserve not only to be imitated in the US but all over the globe.
In fact, I think in a lot of places they already are quite standard.
Making trouble today for a better tomorrow...
I just submitted this story by accident.
current odds of it being published to the front page:
20:1
paypal me the money at paypal@paypal.com
Begun this Clone War is!
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
This is how the OpenDNA project got started. NetDNA had all those uninitialized variables and mRNA overruns (where it would copy the wrong DNA), so some Scientologists in Canada forked the DNA and have been auditing it to remove these bugs.
1) It's not xenophobia. It's a joke. Your boredom stems from your overly-serious approach to internet posting. If I wasn't American, I'd rip on Americans all day. I'm not French, so I'll rip on the French as much as I please. I invite all French readers to reply with their worst, understanding that the interaction will all be in good fun. :-)
2) My list isn't in chronological order. I apologize profusely and pledge to keep all further postings involving multiple events in a timeline format. This appears to be the only actual "correction" that you have made.
3) You said the same thing I did, but you used more details because you google searched for "Raelians" and reported what you found.
4) We all agree here.
5) Anything that involves group sex is at least worth a look.
Maybe Rael hit the wall a few too many times during his racing career: This would explain his status as a "former" race-car driver and as a lunatic.
After previewing this message I decided it was too agressive. I assure you the only reason for this is that I'm bored at work and I'm searching for any source of entertainment I can find. As I've mentioned, internet posting can only be taken seriously to a point.
As seen on a /. sig...
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.