First Human Clone Born?

slantyyz writes "A religious cult, the Raelians, has claimed that the birth of first human clone is one of theirs. While this hasn't been corroborated yet, it's making headlines in Canada, where the cult is based. There's supposed to be a press conference on Friday in Hollywood. This story just may have legs."

Comments

Legs

[YellowSnow]

Hopefully the clone will have legs too!

clones

[ryan89]

Just what we need, a bunch of cloned Canadiens... Why didn't they choose to clone some Swedish chicks?

Re:clones

[dr_dank]

Don't be fooled. It's all a plot to resurrect this guy.

I, for one, welcome our hockey and donut-eating overlords.

Re:clones

[Glytch]

And at the last supper, He took a Boston Cream, broke it and said, "This is what's it's all aboot. Munch on this in memory of me." And he took the Medium Double-Double, drank from it and said, "Hey, drink this in memory of me, eh?"

(I am *so* going to hell...)

Missing a period

[Aggrazel]

"I've missed a period" - girl
"Shit! ... are you sure?" - cult leader
"Well, yes, dammit. I told you to use protection! What do you care, you've gotten half the women in this cult pregnant." - girl
"Yeah, but they're not 15 ... this could be bad. Uh... I know! We'll send you away for a while!" - cult leader
"What about the kid? What do we do when he comes back?" - girl
"We'll put out a press release saying he's really a clone, we'll even post it on slashdot! I'm sure everyone will believe us!" - cult leader

I've heard this one before...

[DCowern]

A woman gives birth to an exact clone of herself. A couple years down the road, the child learns to speak and its first word is a cuss word. It turns out that the child is an EXACT replica of the mother except for the fact that it can only speak swear words. This drives the mother crazy and eventually she drives to a large canyon and pushes the child in. When she returns home, the police arrest her...

For making obscene clone falls! Ba dum ching!

Please, dear God, let this be true...

[Halloween Jack]

From a Salon article on the cult:

I'd heard that a disproportionate number of Ralians come from the exotic-dance community.

Hey, we want these people to clone themselves!

Re:Sounds better than Scientology

[_Sprocket_]

...where he was entertained by voluptuous female robots and learned that the first humans were created 25,000 years ago by space travelers called Elohim, who cloned themselves.

...

That's a lot more believable and less violent than the Xenu and the volcanoes story.

Eventually it'll come out that the Raelians' and Scientologists' belief systems were based on visits by the same alien race. Its just that the Scientologists got stuck with intergalactic Puritans. Rael's aliens? Apparently cosmic hippies out spreading free love and having a good time.

Re:Sounds better than Scientology

[dkoyanagi]

Raëlians are followers of Raël, a French-born former race-car driver who has said he met a four-foot space alien atop a volcano in southern France in 1973 and went aboard his ship, where he was entertained by voluptuous female robots and learned that the first humans were created 25,000 years ago by space travelers called Elohim, who cloned themselves.

Hmmm, let's see...
Volcano, check.
Space ship, check.
Clones, check.
Short "alien", check.
Fembots, check.
What? Where are the sharks? I asked for sharks with friggin "lasers" on their heads.

Re:Silly People Don't Realize...

[Flounder]

Yes, we call it "having sex". It's an amazing cloning technique that nature gave us that allows one to combine traits and create "clones". If you really want purity, incest might be in order: Some sisterly love and you'll have a virtually perfect family clone.

This is Slashdot, mind you. Most of us are closer to being able to clone ourselves with ordinary household items then we are to having sex with another person.

I've been trying to clone myself for years. I guess jacking off into a paper towel just wasn't the proper medium to propogate life, eh?

Re:Cult?

[SuiteSisterMary]

As seen on a /. sig...

Cult: A small, unpopular religion.
Religion: A large, popular cult.