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Top Ten Shameful Games
Ant writes "Not necessarily the worst, but the most wrong -- here are 10 of the most seriously flawed titles of all time according to GameSpy."
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You can tell its the xmas / new year break as 'news' becomes 'reporters top ten ...'
There must be *something* going on somewhere?
They should have called this article "Top Ten Shameful Games on Consoles No One Under 20 Has Ever Heard Of".
Any shameful game list just HAS to include the disaster called Outpost that was released for the PC in the early 90's. It had a great guide (sold separately) that made the game look great. Too bad most of those features didn't actually make it into the game. What a stinker.
This list is simply hillarious. For the worst of the worst games (i.e. Custer's Revenge) I was thinking that the screenshot shows a cowboy shooting to the left an Indian to the right. But... the explanation is about pr0n. LOL....
Go straight to this game's explanation.
--
Error 500: Internal sig error
If I submit my geek snowboarding game with Tux and Ellen Feiss to one of these "shame" lists, will it get /.ed?
/." level will it get even more traffic!?
If I replace the ENIAC boss with a "beat the living hell out of whoever submits top 10 lists to
If I make my own top 10 list, will it get on slashdot? Will anyone bother to RTFA?
Too bad that TRS-80 dungeon game that tried to be realtime but couldn't keep up with my typing as a 10 year old isn't on the list. These lists are made to "suck up" to the average reader, not the average supergeek.
You can't judge a book by the way it wears its hair.
Does anyone remember this digital trainwreck? Your character is 2 pixels worth of ghostbusting hero and the climax of the game involves you repeatedly pressing a "climb" button to go up 30+ floors to the top of a building to fight StayPuff Marshellow Man. I actually beat the game once, and the win screen was a simple typed message thanking you for playing "this truly awesome game!!!"
After playing this piece of shit I no longer wanted my eyes.
No, it was actually an awful game. Download an emulator and the ROM if you want to check it out. If you don't, you're not missing much. You just move custer right, making sure not to get hit with arrows. Then you rape the woman. Repeat.
It really was that bad, and that's not even counting the shamefulness of the Indian-raping.
The next generation model, the SR-71 "Blackbird", left its calculator roots behind, focusing more on high speed and flying really really high in the air.
- Peter
I can't believe they didn't include any slot machine "simulators." In a real casino, the only joy you get from slot machines is the chance to actually win money. Yet the computerized version gets rid of that, so you are stuck hitting the "spin reels" button over and over again, while occassionally "winning" credits. What a pointless waste of time!
I think called Jungle Lad where he gets captured by 8 bit block jungle natives who are, to give no offence to anyone, GREEN.
I remember thinking 'He's been captured by the Booger Tribe..."
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
Seanbaby is a damn good writer, you gay assfuck.
You're absolutely right! Rating these first games IS beating a dead horse; however, it's a horse I'd like to beat BECAUSE I've got lots of fond memories of playing the original videogames. Lots of us do. Lots of us remember watching our older brother, and his jerk friend Lance, play new games for their Atari, and their NES, waiting eagerly for our turn which never came. I was the little brother who was sent to my older brother's friend's house against my will because it was convenient for both sets of parental units. (Okay, now I'm venting.) My first fascination about video games came from waiting, and waiting, to play Atari or NES. Asking through burning tears, "When's my turn?" My brother's friend Lance replies, "Never. Why are you here anyway?" And then I cry, "I DIDN'T WANNA COME HERE!!!" And then the closest I get to playing a video game is getting hit in the nose by a football... Hmm... Maybe this has something to do with why I hoard classic video games now, and maybe this has something to do with why I love beating the dead horse of those old games by reading articles about them. And maybe those old games aren't so old to people like me who enjoy reading those lists of the worst ones. They're not so old to me because I didn't get to play them when they originally were released because my brother's friend kept me away from them! So now I ramble on and on about how I hoard these games, and cherish info about them now, because I didn't get to play them back then! Okay, sorry for the venting rant, but maybe someone'll sympathise and give me a score of 5 in the mod, eh?
Anybody remember F-15 Strike Eagle for the Atari 800 series? Not only did it have an embarrasingly slow frame-rate, but you could land your plane upside-down!
And you're ranting about this on Slashdot?
He only hates niggers, kikes, wops and greasers!
With apoligys to R.Lee Ermey.
Not a PC game on there but surely there have been some real foul ones released on the PC. Outpost sucked up almost a week of my time in a search for something that resembled fun. I finally gave up and suckered someone into buying it from me. Diakatana - I borrowed this from the sucker that bought Outpost. It should have been renamed 'Slap your head as your computer allies go get killed again'
But why all the "worst games" lists?
The usual hype. But I was surprised by the lack of one hugely important game:
Hunt the Wumpus.
Hunt the Wumpus was apparently an old Unix text-based RPG, which Texas Instruments brought to life on their under-rated but massively overbuilt TI-99/4A home computer in 1980 or so.
The TI-99/4A (and its rare older brother, the TI-99/4) had a 16 bit TMS9900 processor chip (in 1979 and 1981, boys and girls!), a kick-butt video chip (the TMS9918) which had 32 sprites and a video overlay feature. But Texas Instruments, a company which is/was making more chips than Frito-Lay, hobbled the machine by using the video chip's RAM as the console's main memory, bottlenecking the expanded memory down to 8 bits, and creating the single slowest BASIC interpreter ever designed by having it interpreted TWICE (from BASIC to GPL - "Graphics Programming Language" - then to machine language).
With this nasty kludge, they released a graphical version of Hunt The Wumpus. Horrible sound effects, and game play which made you feel like you were drunk and on LSD. Oh, and attempting to add graphics to an old text-only game is doomed to fail, don't even attempt it.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
How can any list of most shameful games not include Michael Jackson's Moonwalker for the Genesis? Having Michael save little boys by performing dance moves was a bad idea at the time and just seems horrid now with all the pedophilia lawsuits and bad jokes. Definitely in my top 5...
Nah text-mode net-hack is much much worse. :)
a ^= b; b ^= a; a ^= b;
I actually finished Swordquest Earthworld, through painstakingly walking around and charting every item I carried anywhere. What an incredible waste of time. I gave it to my sister as a birthday present (so I could play it -- smart, right?). Oh, but karma works in mysterious and horrifically tortuous ways.
What was the name of this fine display of Engrish? If you can include games that have bugs and crappy joysticks on these lists, then a game that was translated by Eddy the Dyslexic Chimp has to weigh in somewhere.
OK, OK, OK. . .
Can anyone think of anything more seriously uncool than admitting you've played that game long enough to work that out?
I'm old enough to remember when discussions on Slashdot were well informed.