Slashdot Mirror
Total Commercialization Awareness
jjohnston writes "Salon just posted its technology and business predictions for 2003: Total Commercialization Awareness. Includes: Al-Qaida online, Slashdot sells out, and pets: the new white meat. Cute ..." That's so 1999.
Slashdot sells out to Al Qauida?? OMG!!
The Master Of Muppets,
CAPTAIN: TAKE OFF EVERY "SIG"!!
JonKatz must be back.
Is it me or is that picture of Jack Nicholson a bit disturbing for first thing in the morning?
****--- A fortune cookie once told me the meaning of life...so I ate it. ---****
So does Fluffy really taste like chicken?
When millions disappear from earth, it's not aliens, it's the rapture.
Nice try putting this in the "It's Funny, Laugh" section! Salon uncovers your scheme and you guys try to play it off as a farce!
2002. CmdrTaco married.
2003. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts."
2003. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it. 2004. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God.
2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity.
2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."
2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms.
2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again.
2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again. With a woman.
2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place.
2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time.
The only reason slashdot was mentioned in the article was so it WOULD get posted here knowing full well that it would get dismissed as drivel.
Katharine Mieszkowski: "No one is going to read this crap."
Farhad Manjoo: "You know your right. But how can we get more publicity from it?"
Katharine Mieszkowski: "I know, lets metion slashdot!"
Farhad Manjoo: "Hey, and I know. Go grabs Salon's 2003 plan and replace all mentions of Salon with Slashdot."
Katharine Mieszkowski: "We are going to be famous!"
-- Knowing too much can get you killed, but knowing who knows too much can make you rich.
The popular discussion site for fans of open source software will disclose that it's perilously close to bankruptcy and needs to make money in order to survive. While the bulk of Slashdot's readership and staff claims to be anti-closed source, Slashdot quickly realizes that open source software makes no money and, therefore, cannot pay for ads on Slashdot. Microsft, however, pays to get .NET advertisements on Slashdot. Slashdot then tells its readership to pay a subscription fee, or they will be subjected to countless MS adverts
Its funny, because it will never happen. Oh, wait.
Salon just posted its technology and business predictions for 2003...Slashdot sells out
Are you sure these were predictions for 2003, and not some sort of recap ?
*ducks*
The author of the article got it wrong. It should read The popular discussion site for fans of open source software will disclose that it's perilously close to bankruptcy and will rewrite and abstract SlashCode into .NET components using Visual Basic which it will license and monitor through Microsoft Passort ...
healyourchurchwebsite.com - WWJB?
Where's my goddamn Flying Car that I was promised in 2000?
Trolling is a art,
Just thought I'd put a link to Dave Barry's recap.
Here it is...
Duh, it's humor
But they can't search for duplicate articles from a week ago? :-D
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
From the article:
It's called English, it's not hard.
They'd get a Score: -1, Troll
Joe
http://www.joegrossberg.com
Maybe that's because most of us are goofing off at work, where MS-use is mandatory....
I've got better things to do at home on my Linux box that read Slashdot, like....euh.... well, I'm sure there's something!
Now if only everyone else would be smart enough to follow suite of a few thousand MPOG players ...
MPOG players? How many little milk carton caps can you fit in one of those?
Tuus crepidae innexilis sunt.
Al Qaeda already has a website. Since I'm an American I'm not allowed to link to it.
The World is Yours.
People actually start forking over money to read the drivel we puke up here at Salon!