Slashdot Mirror
Call for Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie References
lma writes "Lyle Zapato, best-selling author (well, maybe just author) of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: Practical Mind Control Protection for Paranoids , and developer of MindGuard, personal anti-psychotronic software for Amiga and Linux, is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible. Please help this important part of our cultural heritage from being lost, and email him with any references you can find." Well, there was my Uncle Milt..I mean...well, nevermind.
They're watching me through satelites to make sure I don't make any first posts.
I like to image this comic strip: Two agents are hunched over a console at NSA HQ, one says to the other, "Dammit, I had a positive lock on his brainwave sync'd with the thought projector, but then he put that darn foil hat on again!"
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
It's Major League baseball! They're watching from the skies!
:)
You guys want to see what's in here or want to see me hit some dingers? DINGERS! DINGERS!
Simpsons reference.
I think he needs anti slashdot aluminium foil protection for his server, its all gone a bit 503.
Trying to use slashdot as a cheap way to do a patent search.
At least that is what the aliens told me.
Ran this article recently which says tinfoil just isn't enough, and to construct a faraday cage to be impervious to alien influence.
Personally I think that they really need professional help if they believe in aliens, but if it keeps the government from reading my mind I'm all for it!
You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
He's looking for these devices for"reference" yeah sure. He's obviously trying to take over the world.
With MindGuard, you can rest assured that your most valuable possession -- your mind-- is safe from the nefarious tinkering of evil-doers.
I am so glad this software is available, now we can get even more of the right kinds of folks advocating the use of Linux. Is there a large untapped market for Linux use in mental hospitals?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
No, the server just put a foil hat on.
... or he would be able to tell us about them!
TC - My Photos..
...or I would have been able to see that there should be a negation somewhere in the last part of that sentence. My bad.
Arg! It's an evil plot to make me look silly. Hand me that roll of tinfoil please....
TC - My Photos..
I had a few calls from this one when I worked as a sysadmin at her ISP.
You can also see her with a sign standing outside the mall in downtown Hamilton, or at the side of the road by the highway.
Ah yes... Mind control devices through radio and micro waves, CIA conspiracies, drugs slipped into the water and food supplies, and of course contrails. It warms my heart to see that there are people more insane than I am...
Ceci n'est pas une sig.
I have two sisters who are identical twins. It was always required for them to wear aluminium foil hats if they wanted to be partners in our family games of spades. Otherwise, we would all end up beaten by them two terrible cheaters!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
Annie Hall 1977
Woody Allen
ALVY:
(Looking at Rob who is wearing a foil covered suit and hood)
Why are you wearing that? Worried about thought control from space aliens?
ROB:
(Pulling the hood over his head)
Gamma rays, Alvy. Gamma rays. Wear this and you'll live forever.
Hah, and we thought that all anonymous cowards were controlled by Microsoft. It has proven to be more sinister. Microsoft, in conjunction with the Whitehouse, and funded by the telaxians use secret moleman mind control to spread disinformation throuhought the internet intelligencia.
/. the internet intelligencia. Oh well...
The one flaw with the plan is that they consider
You think that I'm crazy, you should see this guy!
You got an affiliate commission link into a front-page Slashdot story! You rock!
<sig>Guvf vf abg n frperg zrffntr
See a wide variety of them in use in this image of the 1314 battle of Bannockburn. The alleged "speaker stand" in this image is, of course, a pyschotronic warfare device. Stalkers and Three Letter Agencies take note: I am in this picture, wearing my own AFDB (well, steel, which is heavier but provides excellent shielding).
Kudos to Lyle for bringing the protection of AFDB's to the attention of the common man. While nothing beats a well made AFDB, I also recommend running Mindguard (link unavailable due to zapatopi.net being taken down by Miniature Black Helicopters and/or Slashdotting) 24/7, for those head scratching moments.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
So that is the story as I heard it. My dad knows the name of the detective in S.F.
"The most sensible request of government we make is not, "Do something!" But "Quit it!"
That Fact that this book is sold by amazon (funny although it is) or the fact that the biggest (or first listed) search by customers there after was for clean undearwear :)
I've heard of pissing yourself with laughter but that takes teh cake
Kingdom of Loathing (www.kingdomofloathing.com) Addicted is me
Sure... being an American of European descent this is really the best thing I've got going for me!
Escape Pod Films: Sketch Comedy and Web Series
And if I don't buy them from Amazon's Target Store, does that mean I'm not a customer that wear clothes? Does that mean have to get naked? Oh wait till I go over to the girls' dorms with this info..
Customers who don't wear clothes also shop for:
- Clean, unused Condoms from Amazon.com Health & Beauty. (Haha you're fucking kidding me, I wasn't serious when I put that search term)
- A G-Spotter. Jesus f***ing Christ!!! Didn't now they sell that too!
What, no inflatable sheep? Sucks...What time is it/will be over there? Check with my iPhone app!
I refer you to Tempest for Eliza for a practical demonstration.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
For more info than you could ever want on this, some of which is interesting, and some of which is questionable, check out this page of related links
be sure, for a good laugh, to check out
http://www.lessemf.com/personal.html
which has the more exotic forms of RF protective clothing, including hats, vests, dress shirts, etc. Pricey, too!
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
so much stuff that's, like, super top secret - if you know this we'll have to kill you, you'ld think she would have come across the concept of *page two.*
But Noooooooooooooooooooo!
KFG
In order to mind control you, "they" need you to wear an aluminum foil hat, so they start these stories...
Don't forget to buy your earplugs, in addition to your foil hats! I mean, how else are you going to protect yourself from *superluminal* attempts at mind control?
And remember.... Yvan eht nioj!
Well - that post being modded down proves conclusively that there is a government conspiracy, and furthermore, that slashdot is in on it. Now, where did I put my copy of Pyramid Power?
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!
... is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible.
Why, is Amazon going on a patent-spree again?
Tuus crepidae innexilis sunt.
They don't need mind control devices. Anybody watch "Crest of the Stars" and see how well the Baron controlled the minds of his vassals. (They should be showing that episode sometime this week again and again one last time on Friday on TechTV). That's how it's done, not with devices, but with social engineering. (Is that the right category- not absolutely sure.) Promoting those lower than you in the social structure into menial jobs.
You can tell they are Kings because they aren't all covered in shit.
To bypass the resonant properties of aluminum.
Get a different beanie, one made with
a blend of rare earth elements and a
thin Uranium coating.
Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.
Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.
You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:
1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)
2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.
3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.
The oldest microwave-mind-control-ish item I recall is an original series twilight-zone episode.
Young lady (heiress?) living in a penthouse appartment is hearing voices. About to be dumped into the loony-bin - involuntarily. Turns out her penthouse apt is on the path of a new phone-company or something microwave link and she's picking up the traffic. A little shielding saves the day.
Interestingly, this sort of thing would be entirely plausible with a non-multiplexed AM link. Something similar once happened quite a lot (and may still happen): A bit of corrosion on defective metal dental work will sometimes demodulate broadcast AM signals and pass enough of the current through the auditory nerve to stimulate it (or otherwise couple it to the hearing system somehow). Result: an untuned crystal set. In an area with a single strong AM station - hearing the program material (or at least the lower-frequency portions of it, which is good enough to recognize voices). In an area with multiple strong AM stations, a cacophony - like being in a crowd with everybody talking (or playing a transistor radio tuned to a different station) at once.
And, yes, sometimes people with such a problem end up under medical supervision for paranoia, rather than (or until) having their dental work fixed.
While there may have been a few one-channel AM microwave links in the early days, things quickly evolved. Phone company links were digital and multiplexed by the '60s (and I'm not sure they were EVER unmultiplexed AM), and studio-to-transmitter links were FM ditto.
I have often wondered how much of the tinfoil-hat mind-control mythos got started by the broadcast of that Twilight Zone episode. (See! The media ARE controlling people's minds with hidden broadcast signals...)
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
Some of the psycho links aren't actually as insane as you may think...
I used to play the game Majestic online, and I know for a fact they set up a lot of "pseudo-pages" of companies, home pages, etc. to go along with the storyline, and some of these links that have been given are directly from that game, and a few may be from further down the road (then I was in the game), because they seem to read almost exactly the pages I saw when I was playing.
Sure there are psychos online, but there's also a lot of pages set up for other less insiduous or insane reasons.
Just something to think about.
~ kjrose
When I first opened my law practice, I shared a legal secretary with another lawyer.
Part of my real-world education in solo practice was that, from time to time, I would get calls from prospective clients who were aggrieved by (alleged) mind-control rays and who wanted me to represent them against the U.S. Government or whomever. I would patiently listen to their stories, and offer to take their cases for $10,000 up front. (Mercifully, no one bit, or the state bar would have had my ass.)
I had fun, but I got tired of being so patient a listener as I had other (billable) demands on my time. I mentioned my surprise (at the number of such calls) to my secretary, who said, "Oh. You just have to tell them to make a tinfoil hat and they'll go away. Works every time." And it did!
100% of prospective mind-ray clients who were instructed to make tinfoil hats went away, presumably satisfied. I even got one or two nice notes in the mail, and a couple of referrals.
Moral: There's no substitute for an experienced legal secretary.
What I find most interesting is what Amazon recommends others as having shopped for... "Customers who wear clothes also shop for:" is humorous in and of itself, but that they're also buying "clean underwear", "Ladybug Rain Boots", "Pet Socks", and "Puppy Footed One-Pieces for Newborns" is unsettling to say the least.
The truth about Scientology, Xenu, and you: Operation Clambake
I wonder if former AZ Governor Evan Meacham is aware of this. He used to tune multiple radios to different stations and point them at the window to foil (no pun intended - well, maybe a little) eavesdroppers. I think I saw a picture of him somewhere with an aluminum contraption on his head that was supposed to prevent his brain from being accessed (which seems to have worked pretty good since he often didn't seem to have access to it).
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
My story stems from a congressional intern (don't laugh) under Frank Wolfe in 1986. She was a friend of mine, and told us one day that part of her job was to answer the mail that the congressman got. Everything had to be logged, filed, and in most cases, given a standard form answer. One day, she got one that went something along the lines of:
Or something along those lines. My friend was not exposed to much weirdness in her upscale little life, so she got very scared, and showed the congressman. He simply said (deadpan), "Type up a response telling him to wear tinfoil on his head, take his personal medications, eat more natural vegetables and thank him for being a loyal citizen." She thought he was kidding, he winked at her, and assured her that it would be okay to type that letter. "I don't want him to 'take action' or do whatever he feels necessary if we don't respond. Type it up, and I'll sign it." She did, he did, and they never heard from him again.We may hate politicians, but they have to put up with this kind of stuff a lot.
Dildos, of course!
Which you would already know if you actually read your spam like a good consumer.
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
Wow, it was prescient for the late-1950s cartoon series Ruff and Ready to have robots from Munimula, which was aluminum spelled backwards. Now you've got me wondering why people call Reynolds Wrap tinfoil when it's really made out of aluminum. Was there an earlier product actually made out of tin?
I should think hearing voices would be the least of her problems. Wouldn't it get a little warm in there?
We're talking roughly the amount of power emitted by an 802.11 card, coming from an antenna miles away, not sitting next to a major radar antenna (or inside a microwave oven).
Does your lap get hot when you're Wi-Fiing on your laptop? Maybe you need an aluminum foil jockstrap. B-)
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
In other words, there may be a very good health reason for the ubiquity of self-medicinal aluminium headware. Perhaps we should be attempting to investigate the link between tin hats and improvement in certain forms of mental illness, rather than simply mocking the subject (and QED anyone attempting to study it)?
This Sig is a mnemonic device designed to allow you to recognize this author in the future.
It's a joke, I mean, come on, why do they have to specify that the underwear is clean... should we be expecting anything else?
:P
They're not eBay, and even in eBay, people can't sell dirty underwear.
What time is it/will be over there? Check with my iPhone app!
You don't add the percentages. Let's buy $100 worth of light bulbs and put it them in the innermost tub.
Here we go:
1st bin: 20% off $100 = $80 + $3 for the bin
2nd bin: 20% off $83 = $66.40 + $3 for bin 2
3rd bin: 20% off $69.40 = $52.52 + $3 for bin 3
4th bin: 20% off $55.52 = $42.02 + $3 for bin 4
5th bin: 20% off $45.02 = $36.02 + $3 for bin 5
For a grand total of: Not Free. (39.02 or 33% of the 115 you would've spent) Even if you don't take into account the bin prices, you still will never hit zero, no matter how many bins you stack. Still a great deal, though.
Anything you can do, I can do meta.
- Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
- Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
- Pet Socks from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
- Puppy Footed One-Pieces for Newborns from Amazon's Old Navy Store
I think that's one hell of an ensemble, there.Tom Geller
Why was I reading this tripe? Well, it was on the bench at the train station while I was waiting for the train, and the newspaper headlines had looked boring...
Bill Stewart
New Fast-Compression-only CPR http://preview.tinyurl.com/dy575ks
Your mind guard link is a german metal band.
The wonderful "MindGuard Psychotronic Mind Control Protection" software is at
http://zapatopi.net/mindguard.html
Damn! You have to see the add for the Linux version!
Rocky J. Squirrel
I'm in college, and I can tell you for a fact that all the attractive college students, male or female, wear clothes. The naked people are kinda funny looking - they got all these floppy bits on 'em.
The first reference I saw to aluminum-foil hats as protective gear was in a book by Arthur Janov's books about his primal therapy. It may have been "The Primal Scream". Some patient of his was trying to avoid being beamed up to a flying saucer every night and had to wear this hat to stop it, but it didn't help much.
Seastead this.