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Judge Decides X-Men Aren't Human
An anonymous reader points to this Wall Street Journal article, writing "According to the U.S. Court of International Trade, the X-Men (along with other figures from the Marvel universe) aren't human. The presiding judge subjected the figures to "comprehensive examinations" which included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure." Ironically, the X-Men, whose struggle for human acceptance has been a key theme in the series, were more easily classified as non-human than Kraven and Mole Man.
Can't we all just get along?
There are 01 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary, and me.
Soooo... am I demented for wanting to bed Rebecca Romijn-Stamos?
Trolling is a art,
The judge is right! The X-men are not dolls. Boys don't play with dolls. They're action figures! Dolls are wussy, action figures are manly! And don't you forget that.
From the article: "The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground." Ok, all you guys sitting there in your parents basement, are you more mole than human?
Also from the article: "In her chambers at the U.S. Court of International Trade, in New York, the judge examined Prof. X and the rest of his band of X-Men, all of them little plastic figures " 'Nuff said.
Pigs might fly, but don't make breast landing Weird News
I guess it's just a matter of time until the Sentinels arrive. Better start filling out that application to the Hellfire Club right about now...
~jeff
Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
"Prefiero morir de pie que vivir siempre arrodillado!"
Brotherhood of Mutants
when as we all know the proper, grandiose, toungue-in-cheek name was
Brotherhood of EVIL Mutants
I mean, of course they're not human. The question is, are they eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil?
If Jesus wants me it knows where to find me.
A humanoid in yellow spandex was spotted in Washington, DC the other day, madly yelling "I am not an X-man! I am a HUMAN BEING!!!!"
This sig no verb.
Of course they aren't U-Men, they're X-Men.
Will someone please think of the children?
:)
I'm pretty sure that both Rachel and Nathan (Cable) are old enough to be able to look after themselves now, don't you think?
-MT.
"The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man."
Sorry, Ron, back to the farm with you.
-=Best Viewed Using [INLINE]=-
No, sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again, sir!
~D:
So..If by some act of god, radiation, whatever, I gain some odd ability similiar to that of a super hero, I am denyed all the privilages of a normal citizen?
Sure, you can laugh and say it will never happen, but IT COULD.
X-Men's Wolverine: Man or beast?
Well, it's obvious the WSJ reporter didn't do the examination. Beast has blue fur (whenever the Marvel writers aren't messing with his mutation), and there's no way in the world could he be confused with Wolverine.
Good judgment comes from experience.
Experience comes from bad judgment.
... at least Michael Jackson will have to pay taxes now.
Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"
No,it means HE AIN'T REAL!
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to walk my Incredible Hulk.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Sounds more like the judge is trying to justify some strange fetish in a Pete Townsend sort of way.
"I was just using the naked toys for research on a legal judgement"
In related news, attorney Johnathon F. Spunkelmuncher is spearheading a class-action lawsuit against the United States of A. The plaintifs, who will heretofore be known as "Cabbage Patch Kids" contend that they were sold into slavery by toy stores nationwide. Millions of little girls abused the plaintifs in the 1980's and now they want to be compensated...Tape at 11:00.
"A terrorist is someone who has a bomb but doesn't have an air force." -William Blum
Ha! Just remember Judith! I've got the Daily Bugle on my side, and if there's any funny business going on, these pictures that Parker took are going in the afternoon edition!!
Angrily Signed with Desk Pounding Action,
J. Jonah Jameson
X-Men fans should stop whining and go play with their dolls.
:)
Not dolls. Toys. Didn't you read the article at all?
Mordor...a magical, mythical land where women are more rare than dragons--but where every man would rather find a dragon
Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories.
Captain Pointless has saved us yet again!
End communication!
about the Marilyn Manson action figure I just picked up?
The people you're correcting with regards to comicbook spelling minutiae are the same ones who don't know the difference between "loose" and "lose" :)
I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
Yeah, right, we're all getting fat because we're mad at Barbie for being thin. Something tells me that "the current state of the conversation" you're referring to is heavily influenced by hallucinogens.
The opinions stated herein do not necessarily represent those of anybody at all. Deal with it.
my Jesus Christ action figure with posable arms and legs? Want to make a ruling on that one? What would Jesus tax? (WWJT)
Experts agree: everything is fine.
Whatever, just so that the tariff on Jar-Jar is too high for him ever to enter the country.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Now we have to see Spidey naked but Mary Jane clothed, what a sad day it is :-)
but Soylent Green is! ;)
"To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit." -Stephen Hawking
The article does seem at first blush inflammatory. For example:
Her ruling thundered through the world of Marvel Comics fans. The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human, she decreed Jan. 3. Nor are many of the villains who do battle with Spiderman and the Fantastic Four. They're all "nonhuman creatures," concluded Judge Barzilay.
What is important to remember here is that this is just the real world, and doesn't count.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
--Will Durant