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Judge Decides X-Men Aren't Human
An anonymous reader points to this Wall Street Journal article, writing "According to the U.S. Court of International Trade, the X-Men (along with other figures from the Marvel universe) aren't human. The presiding judge subjected the figures to "comprehensive examinations" which included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure." Ironically, the X-Men, whose struggle for human acceptance has been a key theme in the series, were more easily classified as non-human than Kraven and Mole Man.
Fans Howl in Protest as Judge
... . A decision that the X-Men figures indeed do have 'nonhuman' characteristics further proves our characters have special, out-of-this world powers."
... powers on the side of good or evil." The judge observed how the character Storm, with her flowing white hair and dark skin, "can summon storms at will," while Pyro has a "mutant ability to control and shape flames."
Decides X-Men Aren't Human
Marvel Fought to Have Characters Ruled
Nonhuman to Win Lower Tariff on Toys
By NEIL KING JR.
Staff Reporter of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
Judge Judith Barzilay huddled late last year with a telepathic professor and a cast of mutants to ponder an age-old question: What does it mean to be human?
In her chambers at the U.S. Court of International Trade, in New York, the judge examined Prof. X and the rest of his band of X-Men, all of them little plastic figures at the heart of a six-year tariff battle between their owner, Marvel Enterprises Inc., and the U.S. Customs Service.
Her ruling thundered through the world of Marvel Comics fans. The famed X-Men, those fighters of prejudice sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are not human, she decreed Jan. 3. Nor are many of the villains who do battle with Spiderman and the Fantastic Four. They're all "nonhuman creatures," concluded Judge Barzilay.
Marvel subsidiary Toy Biz Inc. pushed Judge Barzilay to declare its heroes nonhuman so it could win a lower duty rate on action figures imported from China in the mid-1990s. At the time, tariffs put higher duties on dolls than toys. According to the U.S. tariff code, human figures are dolls, while figures representing animals or "creatures," such as monsters and robots, are deemed toys.
To Brian Wilkinson, editor of the online site X-Fan (x-mencomics.com/xfan/1), Marvel's argument is appalling. The X-Men -- mere creatures? "This is almost unthinkable," he says. "Marvel's super heroes are supposed to be as human as you or I. They live in New York. They have families and go to work. And now they're no longer human?"
Chuck Austen, current author of Marvel's "Uncanny X-Men" comic-book series, is also incredulous. He has worked hard for a year, he says, to emphasize the X-Men's humanity, to show "that they're just another strand in the evolutionary chain."
Marvel issued this statement: "Don't fret, Marvel fans, our heroes are living, breathing human beings -- but humans who have extraordinary abilities
The X-Men series broke new ground when it began in 1963 by confronting racism and intolerance head-on. The good-hearted mutants rallied around their mentor, the wheelchair-bound Prof. Charles Xavier, to protect mankind, even as humans shunned and despised them.
In 1996, Toy Biz sued Customs in the Court of International Trade, which arbitrates foreign-trade disputes between U.S. companies and the government. Toy Biz said its pantheon of action figures should be classified as toys instead of dolls. Customs insisted the figures are dolls, and thus subject to 12% import duties, instead of the 6.8% rate for toys. Duties have since been eliminated from both categories.
Thus began the great debate over the figures' true being. Barbie is a doll. Pooh Bear's a toy. That much is easy.
But what about Wolverine, the muscular X-Man with the metal claws that jut out from his fists? Wolverine has known many forms in his more than 40 years as a Marvel character. In some comics, he resembles a futuristic robot. In the movie "X-Men," he's a scruffy Canadian who drives a camper until falling under the protection of the telepathic Prof. Xavier, dean of an academy for gifted mutants in suburban New York.
But is he human?
To weigh that question, Judge Barzilay sat down with a sheaf of opposing legal briefs and more than 60 action figures, including Wolverine, Storm, Rogue and Bonebreaker.
Toy Biz, in its filings, pulled no punches. The figures "stand as potent witnesses for their status as nonhuman creatures," the company argued. How could they be humans, Toy Biz said, if they possessed "tentacles, claws, wings or robotic limbs?"
Toy Biz had good cause to pursue this line. Having its action figures declared toys would mean a hefty reimbursement of past duties, though the company declines to give specifics on how much was at stake.
The U.S. government showed more feeling. Each figure had a "distinctive individual personality," the federal legal team argued. Some were Russians, Japanese, black, white, women, even handicapped. Wolverine, the government insisted, was simply "a man with prosthetic hands." Justice Department lawyers who handled the case didn't return calls seeking comment.
Judge Barzilay, through a spokesman, said that she would let her 32-page decision speak for itself. But she described in her ruling how she subjected many of the figures to "comprehensive examinations." At times, that included "the need to remove the clothes of the figure."
The X-Men, oddly, gave her the least trouble. They are mutants, she declared, who "use their extraordinary and unnatural
Thus the X-Men are "something other than human." Case closed.
Tougher for the judge were figures from the Fantastic Four and Spiderman series. Judge Barzilay wrestled at length with Kraven, a famed hunter who once vanquished Spiderman, thanks in part to the strength gained from drinking secret jungle elixirs.
The judge found that Kraven exhibited "highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs." He wore a "lion's mane-like vest." Both features helped relegate him, in the judge's mind, to the netherworld of robots, monsters and devils.
Judge Barzilay conceded that the closest call was the Mole Man, who once blinded the Fantastic Four with searing beams of light. The judge found him to be "stout and thick," with "exaggerated troll-like features" and very pale skin -- fitting for someone who lives underground. Given all that, Judge Barzilay concluded, the Mole Man was more mole than man.
Veteran comics fan Christian Cooper, who once worked as a Marvel editor, thinks Judge Barzilay got carried away. If Kraven isn't human, what about the twisted villains in Dick Tracy? Or worse yet, Superman himself?
"Here's a guy who changes his clothes in a phone booth and flies through the air," says Mr. Cooper. "Does that mean he's now an animal?"
Write to Neil King Jr. at neil.king@wsj.com
Pretty sensationalist headline for the Journal. For those who didn't read the article, it's about whether the X-Men figurines are toys or dolls. Obviously the status of fictional characters as "human" or not is completely absurd, and not at all what the case was about.
X-Men fans should stop whining and go play with their dolls.
Karma: Good (despite my invention of the Karma: sig)
Before the comic book geeks get worked up about "They may not be Homo Sapiens, but they're human dammit", it's just a stupid tax matter. There used to be different import taxes on "dolls" and "toys". The guv'mint said the Marvel figures were dolls because they're human figures and wanted them taxed at twice the rate of toys. Marvel disagreed and won.
The taxes have since been repealed. Nothing to see here.
-B
Summary: Marvel wanted the items to be declared non-human to shoehorn them into an arbitrary category that incurred less import tax.
This is an affront to the X-Men theme of intolerance in only the most semantical, BS way imaginable.
My
Limekiller
I hate to be picky, but I have to point out this line in the WSJ article, even if it just proves what a geek I am.
"Wolverine has known many forms in his more than 40 years as a Marvel character."
Wolverine's first appearance was in 1974, in The Incredible Hulk #180. That would give him about 28 years in the Marvel universe.
Actually, according to something a professor told our class, men stand a 1/50 chance of having features as good as Ken's, while women stand a 1/100,000 chance of having features as good a Barbie. So, not impossible really.
No, I haven't gotten my wish. Calling the elimination of the differential tariff on toys-vs-dolls "getting my wish" is like tossing a hanful of sand into the Grand Canyon and claiming you've "filled" it.
Another symptom - the IRS has seven defintions for "dependent child". I don't have kids, nor do I want 'em, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that that's a crock of shit, and an unfair burden of extra paperwork on those who do, even if understanding those multiple contradictionary definitions results in a tax break for 'em.
Likewise, there have been times when I've wanted to start my own business. One glance at the tax forms for the self-employed, and I'm disabused of that fucking notion with a quickness. I'll never start a business because any enjoyment (and even the huge list of possible tax deductions!) I'd get from spending some free time producing things of value would be sucked dry by my having to fill out hundreds of pages of forms every year. (Or worse, paying thousands to a CPA to fill the hundreds of pages of forms out for me, and then have to sign under penalty of perjury that something I don't even comprehend (or I wouldn't have hired the fucking CPA in the first place!) is a true and faithful representation.
With compliance costs being approximatly 50% of tax collected (1999 - $650B in income tax collected, and $300B in compliance costs), I really do think an overhaul of the ludicrous monstrosity called the Internal Revenue Code is important. And not next time, but this time.
As for threatening to vote for his opposition - tax rates may rise under Democrats and fall under Republicans, but the Internal Revenue Code grows in complexity no matter which major party is in power. I therefore have no reason to believe that either major party has any intention of reforming the Code, and the only way I can see the Code being changed is for third parties to gain enough votes to be a threat to the majors. (In closely-run Democratic races, I'd advise voters interested in third parties to threaten to vote Green, and in closely-run Republican races, I'd likewise advise such voters to threaten to vote Libertarian.)
This begs the question.
Does anyone know the name for the logical fallacy of incorrectly attributing a logical fallacy to an argument as a counter argument?
Or perhaps I'm missing where the judge assumed the conclusion. As far as I can tell Judge Barzilay's argument goes as follows:
1) "Kraven exhibit[s] 'highly exaggerated muscle tone in arms and legs.'"
2) To have exaggerated or extra-human traits is to be non-human
therefore, Kraven is non-human.
Of course, I think being made of plastic is quite inhuman in itself.
Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. -- Walt Whitman
When was Spider-Man ever stronger than the Hulk? Even in their very first encounter, when the Hulk unwittingly attacked him due to trickery from the Green Goblin (yes, I'm aware of how much I'm embarrasing myself by posting this) the Hulk was clearly the stronger of the two.
AFAIK, the only time Spider-Man was stronger than ole' Hulky was when he temporarily inherited the powers of Captain Universe.
I'd suggest you don't use Slashdot as your only news source, or you will suffer permanent brain damage.
NPR had a story about this on Morning Edition today (01/21). Here is a link directly to the real audio stream of the story.
"You call it a new way of thinking; I call it regression to ignorance!" -- Operation Ivy
AMEN Brother! Preach on!
X-Wives.... They're a great and powerful force of evil hell-bent on ruining the lives of all connected to the X-Husband super-hero team. They will infiltrate your secret headquarters and take everything of any value, including, but not limited to, any secret identities your super-team may guard, all secret codes and cool hi-tech discoveries, all your funding, and even your dignity and self respect. And then you have to pay a "protection" fee every month to keep them from doing it again.
They are an insidious evil organization that shows no compassion, even to children, which they use as human shields and brainwash to their evil ways. They are ruled by The Harpy, the most evil and depraved X-Wife of them all, who sits on her perch in a deep underground cavern somewhere beneath Dallas, TX (because, as you might know, "All my Xs live in texas").
Next to the Dire Wraiths or maybe the minions of Darkseid, the X-Wives are the most evil organization in the universe.
First Appearance: Widely disputed. Best theories place their origin at the time of Moses from the Hebrew and chistian holy writings. People begged for the ability to divorce, God didn't like it, but he agreed, and thus the X-Wives were born. This may suggest a demonic origin.
Super Powers: X-Wife powers vary widely from specimen to specimen. Most have the ability to project a beam of pure hatred from their eyes that can chill the heart of even the strongest, most invulnerable warrior. Others are mindless berserkers. Still others are cold, calculating geniuses with a far-ranging network of minions.
Vulnerabilities: Due to their insanity and lack of a firm grip on reality, some X-wives can be outsmarted. However, this is dangerous, as the veteran, Elite X-Wives have a godlike cunning
High doses of Thorazine, Lithium and Zoloft have been known to stun an X-Wife long enough to escape.